As a child I grew up in Mexicali Baja California, Mexico. I was the oldest of four siblings.

When I

was growing up my father was the household my mother was a stay home mom, so I grew up

being part of the low middle class. For most of my childhood the children that I hang out with

were high class. Their homes, their clothing and overall their life style was very different from

mine. At that time I don’t remember feeling less, what I remember is that my mom always

comb my hair super tight and always back. I used to hate it and I remember feeling ugly

because I don’t like my forehead it is too big. I really believe that because my mom used to do

my hair like that is the reason why my forehead is so wide and my ears too they were always

showing and they looked bigger. On the other hand my friends to me were pretty little girls

who’s moms let their hair down or however they wanted to have it and always wearing nice

clothes and matching from head to toes. I was dressed with second hand clothes and not even

close to match. I compare my story to Montoya on her book Mascaras, Trenzas y Grenas, where

she describes or talks about her mom didn’t wanted her to looked uncombed, thinking that

because people thought of Mexicans as dirty, ugly and lazy she wanted her daughter

appearance to be neat(p.515) The same with my mother she knew that as it was I was looked

down due to my economical position, she wanted me to at least look presentable and looked at

less down. Regardless of my socioeconomic status at home I was growing up my parents

thought me to respect them by obeying them in all aspects. That I couldn’t reply to what it was

said for me to do or say or not to say in other words. As the oldest daughter I must do as

directed. Of course I always got compliments of what of a great daughter that always obey and

respect her family. While following our culture traditions and the respect must be shown I had

a very high self esteem, but I didn’t mean that I will always agree with my families culture. I
always wanted to speak up for the things I found unfair, like because I was a girl I was the one

that needed to do house chores, I was the one that had no rights to go out by myself or late at

night. And I respected that because I was afraid of the consequences of breaking the rule or

frighten to talk back to my parents. Also Montoya mentions “ that when in her law school

during one of her classes they were discussing the case entitled the people of the state of

California vs Josefina Chavez , how Montoya spoke up because Josefina’s case was speaking for

herself. The case that talked about how a young woman gave birth to a baby in the restroom

and how in the dark she cut the umbilical cord with a razor left the baby in the bathtub,

wrapped the baby and ran away from home.(518) And how this story spoke for Montoya

because with in our Mexican culture is a shame for a single women to get pregnant without

being married you will be mistreated, humiliated and treated as a prostitute in some cases. In

some cases the women gets excluded from the family. I know what Montoya felt and that is

way she shows the other side of the story by saying “yes Josefina did wrong, but she was a

young woman unexperienced where again maybe nobody talked to her about sex and the

consequences. But deep inside her she knew the consequences that if she were to tell her

parents her life was going to be miserable for the rest of her life” (515) for the oppression I

suffer for following the rules at home I grew up with fear always thinking what will happen if I

were to do what I want it and not what my parents wanted me to do or be.

At school I always had teachers who were there to teach what their lesson planning was

meant to teach it was not meant to meet my needs or talk about the topics I wanted to learn.

There was not time to discuss or talk about my inquires to learn more about the world or for

the teacher to hear the way I perceived new concepts. As Freire mentions in the book of
Pedagogy of the oppressed where he says “ that education turns to be a process where

teachers deposit information in to the student, instead of having a reciprocal communication,

where students just memorize, file and reapeat what its said. This is what is called banking

where we remember and store memorized concepts which makes people with less

creativity”(p.72) I was good at memorizing information and getting the highest grades in my

classes. I always get compliments from my school performance. I was always getting certificates

of highest achievements or student of the month for showing respect and being a good citizen

towards my teachers and classmates. But how ironic, what I didn’t know is that my creativity

was not longer developing as Freire states “the more completely they accept the passive role

imposed on them,(the student) the more they tend simply to adapt to the world as it is and to

the pieces of reality shown to minimize students power”(p 73) I grew up with deposits in my

mind in what world is about without giving me the chance of doubt of thinking outside the box

and come up with my own idea of the world to keep the power over the oppressor, to keep me

with a mind set in the way I should see the world. But due to the memorizing and the

encouragement of my parents and teachers that I continued improving in school through my

childhood and part of my adolescence and that gave me security and increased my self-esteem

when I learned that with my learning skills and efforts everything was possible.

It wasn’t until my High School years that my parents decided to send me away from home or

what I thought it was my home to live here in the United States. For fourteen years I grew up and was

raised in Mexico, what I thought it was my hometown. My dad thought that because United States of

America was my birth place I should then start learning English what he thought should be my second

language. At that time my self-esteem was very low because I felt discriminated thinking that only
because I was born in an other country I couldn’t stay for the rest of my life and be part of the family

that I was in? I felt excluded and rejected. This separation gave me a lot of insecurities being away from

my parents in a new country to me with a new family, new school environment and overall a language I

couldn’t speak. My grades were low and my enthusiasm for school was not there anymore. At school I

was limited to the group of kids I could relate to , why? Because I will relate only with the kids that

would be in my same circumstances I will interact with kids who didn’t speak the language from

different nationalities but experiencing the lack of the English language. There I learned to embrace or

respect other cultures and believes as minorities we were always together we develop friendship and

will help one and each other. We develop colonization; as Blauner in his book internal colonialism and

ghetto revolt states “colonialism involves the control of the majority of a nation by a minority of people

from other places, and this people who form the colonization are people who are oppress from the

majority”(p 395) when I was in High School that minority group of non-English speakers made me feel

secured and that I belonged. In our own small group we felt accepted and for the same reason we took

care of each other and help each other learn the new culture and the new language that was imposed in

order to better function in this American society. As Blunter mentions “the difference between the

American colonization and the minority is that the minority came here in the search for a better life, so

the ladder of the economic and social levels are about the same, our movements in life were not

controlled by society. Because we as a minority decided to transformed our culture at our own pace

sacrificing ethnic values as we look for a better future in another country.(p 396)

I have been working since 1997 in the child development field. In this field I have taught

students from all cultures and nationalities. And I have seen how children as well as the adults tend to

group themselves to feel secure and speaking the same language but as the year goes by they learn to

socialize with other children as well as to learn the English language. My job and goal as a teacher is to

teach these children to embrace culture to appreciate and respect their own culture to show pride in
what their background is and to appreciate others as well. And ironically part of the mission and

curriculum that we provide to our families, as a worker I can observe that white supremacy rules. Our

top administrative board are mainly white. Our subordinates are white so when concerns or ideas are

given to them and it comes from the minority are rarely taken into consideration but as soon as a white

person sometimes with out the knowledge or experience gives his/her input right away they give all the

importance. Also I have observed how they sometimes demeanor people who are prepared for the field

but just because their ethnicity back ground and their accent. I have observed how they harassed them

until people decides to walk away. And I see the difference they make for white people . Unfortunately

it is been observed as Pizzaro in the book twenty-first century dynamics of multiculturalism “we have

not fight against the thinking that takes us to the beliefs of white superiority; believing that whites are

superior to the people of color” (p 161) These believes are so strong that people who belong to the

minority groups end up believe in it to the point that they also discriminate other groups for believing

they are closer to be a copy of a white person. In my personal experience I have suffer racial

microaggressions at work as Pizarro describes it “verbal and non-verbal insults to people of color base

on race, gender, class stressed on people of color and privileges on whites”(p 163) In one occasion I was

approached by a Chinese colleague and she approached me and said “ you know all my Chinese

students are transferring to your school because in my class I have a large percentage of Mexicans and

within my culture our parents don’t want us to relate to Mexicans, we Chinese people are big in

education so our families rather want their children with other Chinese children or white rather than

Mexican” My answer was “ Well , yes a very high percentage of my students are Chinese , but let me tell

you our top for students there are Hispanic/Mexican and I’m sorry but what about us the teachers we

are Mexican?, maybe is you as a teacher that maybe they want to transfer from your school your

assumptions may be wrong” With her comments I felt hurt, discriminated and overall disappointed for

the comments coming from another teacher. But I know were my grounds as a teacher and as a
Mexican stand, I’m very proud of my culture and background what makes me sad is that because people

like her that believes whites are the best what kind of messages is she sending her kids at home, school

and maybe to the families. As educators is our job to embrace all cultures to make this world a better

place.