Name: Josh B.

Date: 10/9/17 Block: A3/4

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SUMMATIVE PERFORMANCE TASK TEMPLATE

PART 1: ANALYSIS OF A PROFESSIONAL WRITING SAMPLE

#long works, such as a book, tv series, or movie, go in italics. short works, such as a story, poem, or tv
episode, go in quotations.# Soto, Gary. "Seventh Grade." Baseball in April and Other Stories.
New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1990.4 Pages.

The genre of “Seventh Grade” by Gary Soto this book is realistic fiction. Because the events
written in the book could happen in real life, even though Gary Soto didn’t write the story about an
event that happened to him. I think the purpose of this story is to entertain. This is because there
are lines in the story that are comical, An example of this in the story is when Michael said, “I ain’t
making a face. This is my face, ese.” The audience of the story is for teens in middle school because
the author uses more complex language than in a children's book. The audience is older teens
because they can relate more to what happens in middle school than younger kids that have not
been to middle school yet.
The theme of this story is don't be someone you're not and about how everyone needs to feel like
they belong and are accepted. An example of this is when Victor pretends to speak French in
French class to try to impress Theresa “Frenchie oh wewe gee in September.”. #avoid parentheses.
parentheses denote non-essential information, so anything that is worth including in your paper is
worth not hiding inside the parentheses.#
Gary Soto, uses figurative language, symbolism, diction, mood, characterization, and
dialogue to produce an effective text. The author uses figurative language to produce an effective
text by making the writing more engaging. There are many examples of figurative language in the
story, such as, “Picking grapes was like living in Siberia, except hot and more boring” (this could be
a hyperbole or a simile) or , “It was confusing, like the inside of a watch” (simile). The only symbol
that the author puts into the story is when the narrator says, “This would be his lucky year,” and
then a few lines later, Teresa is sitting under the palm tree, and a plum is a sign of good fortune.
The author uses diction in the story to improve what people think of the story. Examples of this are
“Conviction,” “Sheepishly,” “Raza-style...saludo de vato”. Gary uses characterization to produce an
effective text because he uses stock characters like the pretty girl (Theresa), the nit-picky
teacher(Mr.Bueller), and the try-hard(Michael). The author uses dialogue to produce an effective
text because it shows the connections and relationships between characters. The dialogue can
make finding different character’s emotions easier to understand.
#connection to larger themes, enduring understandings, or lessons?#
Name: Josh B. Date: 10/9/17 Block: A3/4

PART 2: WRITING GOALS

Because I want to have the same style that Gary Soto uses, I will make my writing better by using
dialogue to establish connections between characters

To achieve good sentence structure, I will check to see if my punctuation is correct and that I don't
have any run-ons or sentence fragments.

I will use figurative language like similes, hyperbole, metaphors, personification, and descriptive
vocabulary in order to give the reader an image in their mind and allow them to make a connection to
something they can relate to in order to help them understand.

PART 3: ORIGINAL COMPOSITION

TITLE

The Troubles of 6th Grade

By: Josh Bryant

Beep-beep-beep-beep, beep-beep-beep-beep,beep-beep-beep-
beep!
Joseph's alarm clock rang loudly. Summer was over, and it was the first
day of school. He was too tired to get up, so he decided to slap his hand
on top of the alarm clock until he felt the location of the snooze button. It
felt like it had only been one hour since he went to bed. Ahh, five more
minutes of sleep, he thought as he wrapped himself up in his warm
covers and put his head on the pillow and slowly drifted to sleep.
Beep-beep-beep-beep, beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep!
The dreaded alarm clock monster had rung its deafening dreaded sound
again. Joseph forced himself up and out of bed and trudging like a soldier
through the mud toward the battleground as he made his way to the
Name: Josh B. Date: 10/9/17 Block: A3/4

bathroom where he slowly brushed his teeth. He noticed a list his mom
had written on a sheet of paper filled with the fun things he had done this
summer such as, Adventure Park, Kings Dominion, Busch Gardens,
Disney World and so on. He missed summer. His mom had placed his
new uniform on the bathroom counter, so he put it on and sighed. It was
his first day at The Gifted Academy of Green Bay, and their dress code
was strictly enforced. This was going to get old very fast. After eating a
quick breakfast and throwing his backpack on, he rushed out the door as
his mom said, “Have a excellent day at school, my Pookie Bear!” He
hated when his mom called him that. In fact, he absolutely despised it.
It was already cold outside, like someone had opened the freezer door
onto all of Green Bay. After waiting at his bus stop for a frigid eternity, a
large, ugly, dilapidated bus screeched down the road and came to a
rolling stop. On the side of the bus, it said, “PROPERTY OF GREEN BAY
PRIVATE SCHOOLS.” As he slowly approached it, the doors opened and
he walked onto the bus. The driver was an old man, probably in his early
seventies, and he did not look very excited about the first day either.
Joseph sat alone, even though everyone else on the bus seemed to know
each other. It was a long and lonely ride to school.
Joseph felt a wave of dread wash over him, and he heard himself
groan out loud as he thought about being at a new school where he only
had one friend. He got off the bus and walked into the giant doors of the
academy. Everybody was wearing the same uniform: a gray sport coat
with a white undershirt, a black tie, and gray dress pants. He had
memorized his schedule and knew that his first class was English in
room C135. After he got to his class and sat down, the English teacher
introduced herself as Mrs. Cotler and gave the students a syllabus of
what they would be doing throughout the school year. She seemed like a
nice teacher, but they always did at the beginning. She told the class not
to worry about English homework because she would not be giving that
much.
Name: Josh B. Date: 10/9/17 Block: A3/4

As Joseph walked out of class, he saw a familiar face, it was his only
friend, Nick from elementary school so he went to go say hello and see if
he had any classes with him. They both had the same pre-algebra class
and Nick said, “You gotta watch out for Mrs. Umberson, some of the 7th
graders told me that she is the worst, most unfair teacher ever. I heard
that one kid got sent to the principal’s office for sharpening a pencil
while the teacher was talking.” Nick added,“Well, electric pencil
sharpeners are pretty loud and annoying, I guess.” Joseph said, “No
dude, I heard he got in trouble for using his own pencil sharpener, you
know, one of those little twisty ones you can get at the Dollar store.” Nick
said. “Woah, she’s definitely a terrible teacher then.”
When Joseph reached the door of her classroom, he noticed that
the door was covered with corny motivational sayings like “Excellence
starts with you!”,“Don’t give up! Keep trying!” and “You miss 100% of the
shots you don't take.” As he walked into the classroom with Nick, both of
their hearts sank like the Titanic when it hit the iceberg. There was a 6
inch stack of papers on everybody's desk loaded with math problems on
them along with a nametag written in what looked like fancy calligraphy.
Joseph was not getting a good vibe from this. Joseph sat down at his desk,
which was practically on the other side of the world from Nick’s desk.
After he sat down, a short, old woman with gray hair and thick, horn-
rimmed glasses walked into the room and introduced herself. She
squeaked, “Hiya class! I’m Mrs.Umberson, or you can call me Mrs.U! I
know this year is going to be a GREAT year and we are going to learn so
much about each other and about pre-Algebra! Now, let's get started on
your Math Fun™ sheets! Pages 1-27 are due by the end of class!” Joseph
thought, “Geez, she is going to be so annoying. She is being way too
enthusiastic.” He looked down at his paper, his heart sank even more
when he realized that he didn’t know how to do any of the problems that
were on the sheet. He raised his hand, and Mrs.Umberson said, as she
squinted at his nameplate, “What is it, Joseph-McGraw?!” He said, “You
haven’t taught us how to do any of these problems. Are we supposed to
Name: Josh B. Date: 10/9/17 Block: A3/4

know how to do these problems already and is this for a grade?” Mrs.
Umberson raised her eyebrows and said condescendingly in an
exaggerated happy tone, “What do you think? If you had read my
syllabus, the course objectives, and practice modules on my website, you
would already know the answer to those questions. Let's act like a gifted
student, shall we?” Joseph slumped down into his chair and felt the heat
rush up to his face like a fire. He knew that his face had turned red and
all the other kids in the class were staring at him. As Joseph walked out
of class towards lunch, he thought, “I am literally going to fail that
assignment and probably the class too.”
When he got to the cafeteria, he didn’t know who to sit with
because Nick was not in his lunch bell, so he sat by himself. His first day
of school was as pitiful as the school lunch he was eating. While he
nibbled on his mashed potatoes with the shiny, plastic-like gravy on top,
he felt as if people were staring at him. He turned to see a group of
popular kids pointing at him as they walked toward his table. Joseph
thought they were making fun of him. He was sure they would walk over
and dump chocolate milk all over his head. Things turned out way
differently than he expected though. They sat down at his table, they
introduced themselves and one of them named John said, “That was
really brave of you to ask Mrs. Umberson those questions. We were all
thinking the same thing, but we were too afraid to ask her.” Another guy
named Ben said, “We should start a study group so we're not totally lost
and clueless in her class this year.” They all laughed and agreed, and
they sat with Joseph for the rest of the lunch period. When the bell rang
and lunch was over, Joseph walked down the hall with them. He felt
happy and calm for the first time since school started. Sixth grade at the
Gifted Academy of Green Bay wasn't going to be so bad after all.
Name: Josh B. Date: 10/9/17 Block: A3/4

PART 4: REFLECTION

Goal One Reflection: Because I want to have the same style that Gary Soto uses, I will make my
writing better by using dialogue to establish connections between characters.

I effectively used dialogue throughout my story to establish a connection between Joseph and the
teacher, Joseph and Nick, and Joseph and the cool kids. An example of dialogue that I used is:
He raised his hand, and Mrs.Umberson said, as she squinted at his nameplate, “What is it, Joseph-
McGraw?!” He said, “You haven’t taught us how to do any of these problems. Are we supposed to
know how to do these problems already and is this for a grade?”

Goal Two Reflection:

To achieve good sentence structure, I will check to see if my punctuation is correct and that I don't
have any run-ons or sentence fragments.

I effectively used good sentence structure and checked my punctuation to make sure I didn’t include
any run ons or sentence fragments. I did this by making sure that each sentence was a complete
thought and that it had ending punctuation and not just a comma. I also punctuated compound
sentences with a comma between the sentences and also added a connecting word like and or but or
so.

Goal Three Reflection:

I will use figurative language like similes, hyperbole, metaphors, personification, and descriptive
vocabulary in order to give the reader an image in their mind and allow them to make a connection to
something they can relate to in order to help them understand.

I effectively used figurative language throughout the story to help the reader visualize what was
happening and to help them make connections. Examples of figurative language that I used are
below.
Simile: Joseph forced himself up and out of bed and trudging like a soldier through the mud toward
the battleground.
Hyperbole:It felt like it had only been one hour since he went to bed.
Personification:The dreaded alarm clock monster
Descriptive vocabulary: dilapidated, condescendingly, syllabus, pitiful, calligraphy

WRITING PROCESS
Name: Josh B. Date: 10/9/17 Block: A3/4

The goal that took the most attention to achieve was goal 3 because I had to know what the different
types of figurative language were, and I had to include them into my story without it seeming to
obvious or over-used. The process that it took to reach this goal included reviewing different types of
figurative language. Then I had to vary when and how often I used them so I didn’t have one simile
right after the next. When I was finished writing my rough draft, I went back and read it and then
decided that I needed to add more types of figurative language because I only had metaphors and
similes. I added personification and hyperboles, and stronger descriptive words until I had a balance
of different types that would help the reader visualize the story.

Rubric rating submitted on: 12/13/2017, 2:23:08 PM by jacomba@vbschools.com

Advanced Proficient Basic Understanding Insufficient
Understanding Understanding Understanding

In the analysis Analysis paragraph Analysis paragraph Analysis paragraph Analysis paragraph
paragraph, student accurately identifies a accurately identifies attempts to identify fails to accurately
effectively analyzes variety of subtle predictable patterns the patterns of identify patterns of
the elements of and/or advanced of literature and literature and literature and
literature for patterns patterns of literature language, offering language in the language, either by
in order to and language, generalizations about genre, but analysis is misidentification or
understand the rules offering specific model text rather weak and lacking in neglect. Evidence
of each genre. evidence from model than specific depth/detail. Analysis from model text is
Proficient text and connecting evidence and paragraph does not not given.
Understanding patterns to purpose. presenting purpose address purpose of
isolated from the genre or model
patterns. text.

Student applies Student’s original Student’s original Student’s original Student’s original
knowledge of the composition composition applies composition includes composition does not
patterns and rules in purposefully and elements of literature but does not include identifiable
others’ writing in skillfully applies and language and effectively apply the elements of literature
order to improve the elements of literature achieves a purpose; elements of literature and language with a
student’s own and language in order elements and and language. The clear purpose.
composition. to communicate a purpose each exist purpose of the Purpose seems
Advanced clear purpose. side-by-side, but do composition is lacking.
Understanding not support one unclear.
another.

Habits of Mind Complete, innovative, Complete work Work demonstrates Incomplete work fails
promote scholarship reflective work demonstrates inconsistent to demonstrate
and achievement – in demonstrates metacognitive metacognitive metacognitive
English class and the metacognitive awareness by: awareness by: awareness because
real world. Student’s awareness by: · selecting specific · selecting goals are:
Name: Josh B. Date: 10/9/17 Block: A3/4

goals and reflection · selecting specific goals, appropriate goals but · general,
reveal application of goals and devising · connecting goals to not connecting them · not connected to
the Habits of Mind to strategies for literary experiences, to literary literary experience,
the writing process. improvement, and experiences, and/or · only considered
Advanced · effectively and · justifying self- · selecting goals but superficially, without
Understanding selectively applying evaluations with not establishing a evidence or
generalizations evidence or specific plan for reasoning.
gleaned from literary reasoning. improvement, and/or
experiences to goals, · writing a self- Self-evaluation is
and evaluation that is insincere and not
· justifying sincere detailed but perhaps justified.
self-evaluations with not justified with
evidence and evidence.
reasoning.

Student produces a All parts of the task All parts of the task The task The task
polished, expressive demonstrate demonstrate care for demonstrates demonstrates poor
composition. attention to detail: the finished product: inconsistent control control of the writing
Proficient precise word choice, appropriate word of the writing domains:
Understanding varied and choice, varied domains: word inappropriate word
sophisticated sentence structure, choice may be bland choice, monotonous
sentence structure, reasonable or imprecise in sentence structure,
effective organization organization (though places, sentence lacking organization.
with clear transitions. transitions may be structure may be Errors in grammar,
Writing is generally lacking). Writing has repetitive, usage, and mechanics
free of errors in some errors in organization may be make the
grammar, usage, and grammar, usage, and ineffective. Errors in composition difficult
mechanics. mechanics, but they grammar, usage, and to read and
do not distract the mechanics repeatedly understand.
reader. distract the reader.

Comments:
114/124=28+28+31+27