What She Would Have Wanted: A Requiem for Mimi, Sample Pages

By
Jimmy Grzelak

jwg2@williams.edu
 REQUIEM SAMPLE
This is Holy Family Faith Community (i.e. a
Catholic church with a relatively liberal bent) -
the decoration should not recall a traditional
Catholic church. Think conference room with
kitschy Catholic attempts at modern design; it was
decorated in the late 80’s. It does, however, meet
at least the bare minimum general norms of the
design of a Catholic sanctuary - altar up front,
tabernacle on an altar behind that, lectern, etc.
The altar should be table-like, and not up against
the wall. In other words, the priest should
celebrate mass towards the people. Alternatively
(with a bigger budget), it can be an older church
that was renovated in the late 80’s, with kitschy
Catholic attempts at modern design. There’s a
small table in front of the altar to hold Mimi’s
cremated remains. She’ll be processed in later,
but - for table size selection informational
purposes -- she’s in an urn or similar container
(nothing too classy, but not a Tupperware dish
either).

ALL
Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.
FR. STEVE
(inaudibly, while kissing the
lectionary)
May the words of the Gospel wipe away our sins.
(He leaves the lectern and ambles about
in the front of the church for the
homily -- this homily should probably
not move as fast as it seems it should)
Okay - step one. I have to say that you all have such a
beautiful family - so strong, and varied. You’d have
thunk they named the church after you all! But it was
not you - this is Holy Family Faith Community, not
Mimi’s Beautiful Family and Friends Church.
Okay - so, step two. And then, I’m going to ask myself,
what would Jesus do? So -- I want to say that I love
you. Because that’s what’s really important - love.
(He takes a paper out of his pocket.)
The funeral, I’m here to do that. But, I wanted to
share something with you.
So, I think what the gospel today is trying to say - is
that it really reminds me of Miriam. I think it’s just
like this paper here where I wrote my favorite poem
which is just like the one I just read, in my humble,
(MORE)
 2.

FR. STEVE (cont’d)

humble opinion.

So
(opening up paper, peeking at it, and
then reciting)
here goes:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I couldn’t take them both,
I stood a solitary traveler,
With a big choice to make,
To where it spent in the undergrowth.
So, I pick the one that is the more fair,
Having perhaps the better claim,
Because it’s grassy and I go there.
I’m going to stop right there - that’s what it’s all
about. I think that’s what Mimi was really all about.
Mimi actually reminds me of a friend of mine from way
back in primary school.
Now, my primary school friend was pretty good - Mimi
was probably a bit better, seeing her interest in the
arts;
(He is hastily and transparently
attempting to personalize this sermon)
I enjoyed the collection of her fertility figurines you
guys all put on display over at the funeral home, and
her passion for sports - especially volleyball, and her
hard work in the telecommunications field.

But, for all intents and purposes, this friend was a

lot like Mimi.
But there was one vital difference - he was Crayola!

Now - he wasn’t a crayon, though, he was one of those

drawable crayon-candles. They probably don’t make them
anymore, with all the the factory censors about lead
and political correctness. But, here is my point:
So, I kept this crayon-candle in my room, all the time.
And I was so afraid of the dark. I used to lie in bed
at night, and watch the shadow come through the window
when the neighbors did anything in their yard - my mom
made me go to bed pretty early - as I’m sure Mimi did
for her kids. Where are the kids, anyway? You had a
great mother. Don’t be shy, just raise your hand - God
won’t smite today.
(There are no kids.)
Had you nervous there for a bit, didn’t I? I always
pull that one. Because that’s my point, see - you’re
(MORE)
 3.

FR. STEVE (cont’d)

all her children, just like God’s children.
And she was just like this candle-crayon. Because one
day, my mother said - well -- I said something first. I
left out the part where I wet my bed because I was so
scared. Still a little embarrassed about it. But,
aren’t we all? What would Jesus do? WWJD.
So, just like in the gospel today, my mother came into
the room - I was warmer than a boy should be in his
sheets, and she looked at me and said, “I’ve got the
right tools for you, Stevie! Oh boy, do I have the
right tools, for you!”
Now, as you can imagine, I got nervous, because this
was back when parents used corporal punishment, even on
T.V. Mimi, I know, was a better mother than that. Am I
right?
Which is the point, she’s not like my mother, she’s
like the crayon candle. Gotta keep up with me here,
folks. It’s what Mimi would’ve wanted.

So, my mother - God bless her soul - comes back into

the room with these magic rubber sheets and, then, she
takes out the crayon candle. I’d been saving it, but
she - and this still addles me - drew a big circle
right around my bed with the crayon, right on her wood
floors, which she scrubbed so nice.
And then lit the candle part and put it inside, and
said, “No peeing in this circle, Stevie, or you stay in
this circle! Pee like a dog, live like a dog.”

And that was powerful. Because it was a choice. And I

think that’s exactly where Miriam was on her life-faith
journey - the road from the beginning to the end, you
know?

Now, before you say, “Father Steve, you’re being so

mean about all this.”
Let me say - and I affirm her life here - Mimi was like
a candle-crayon. Because - she had all this talent,
that figurine collection, all hidden in her house. A
great woman of God. You knew her. And, she was in the
drawer, and now she’s lit!
She is this little light of mine. Get it? It’s like,
you have to make a choice, and then - boom! You’re in
the great beyond. And you just made the choice to be a
saint, and God says there in the beatitudes
 4.

(can be pronounced beat-i-tudes, rather

than be-AT-i-tudes)
then it’s just done.
And she knew how to do it! I remember one time, she and
her Harley-club friends, came in. There was a flock of
righteousness - great, strong women, strong, strong,
strong.
So, today, let’s honor and celebrate here, sing some of
her favorite songs, and offer up a hosanna, so that
road can be as comfortable as she made our lives. She
gave us so much - She gave God so much. And now we’ve
got to do a lot of giving to catch up to the two of
them. And I know that’s what you want to do, because
you asked for it, so let’s getter-done. Pray hard, pray
often.

They were always working together like that, God and

Meems - everybody give me a smile. She’s in a someplace
better - am I right, or am I right?
Fr. Steve returns to his place in front of his
chair. He claps his hands, then clasps them
together. All stand.
OT AND NT Lectors take the lectern together; they
approach the altar with the same attitudes they
had before -- they alternate speaking
sentence-by-sentence.
FR. STEVE
Brothers and sisters, Jesus Christ is risen from the
dead and sits at the right hand of the Father, where he
intercedes for his church. Confident [emphasis] of
those who trust in the Lord Jesus, we join our prayers
to his.
Lectors read from a paper already on the lectern
-- not a whole lot of comprehension going on.
These were intentions submitted by family members.
There is also the option of soliciting prayer
requests from the audience before the service.
OT LECTOR
After we say "We pray to the Lord," you say, "Lord,
hear our prayer" to send the prayers of the faithful.
NT LECTOR
So, we pray to the Lord.
(repeat until congregation responds
satisfactorally)
 5.

ALL
Lord, hear our prayer.
OT LECTOR
Our sister, Miriam, shared in the priesthood of Jesus
Christ, working as a coach for the indigents of the
urban educational system - give her reward for this
work in the Lord’s vineyard; we pray to the Lord.
ALL
Lord, hear our prayer.

NT LECTOR
For support of her enthusiastic support of first and
second amendment rights; may what she wanted double and
triple, we pray to the Lord.

ALL
Lord, hear our prayer.
OT LECTOR
For the family, gatherered here, that they might find
the happiness of a communal life in the wake of such a
cross-over, we pray to the Lord.
ALL
Lord, hear our prayer.
NT LECTOR
For the revitalization of the downtown area which she
held so dear, we pray to the Lord.
ALL
Lord, hear our prayer.

OT LECTOR
That the family can find solace in God, and also world
peace, we pray to the Lord.
ALL
Lord, hear our prayer.
NT LECTOR
For everyone in our parish book of remembrance, that
those who have already gained a perfect union with
Christ, our Lord, will welcome her with open arms and
blaring trumpets, we pray to the Lord.
ALL
Lord, hear our prayer.
 6.

OT LECTOR
For these intentions, and for those of all this family,
we pray to the Lord.
ALL
Lord, hear our prayer.
Lectors take their seats; cantor returns to the
lectern.
CANTOR
Please join me in singing the offertory hymn in your
service guide, "Star-Child."
The organist accompanies - no stopping during this
song. Some cast members should sing along
emphatically. A collection basket should be passed
around - instigated and moved along by Mr.
DeCosmo. He also makes sure that two people bring
up the bread and the wine for the offering. This
bread can be leavened.
CANTOR AND ALL
Star-Child, earth-Child, go-between of God,
love Child, Christ Child, heaven’s lightning rod.
This year, this year, let the day arrive,
when Christmas comes for everyone, everyone alive!
Street-child, beat-child, no place left to go,
hurt child, used child, no one wants to know.
This year, this year, let the day arrive,
when Christmas comes for everyone, everyone alive!
Grown child, old child, mem’ry full of years,
sad child, lost child, story told in tears.
This year, this year, let the day arrive,
when Christmas comes for everyone, everyone alive!
Spared child, spoiled child, having, wanting more,
wise child, faith child, knowing joy in store.
This year, this year, let the day arrive,
when Christmas comes for everyone, everyone alive!
Hope-for-peace Child, God’s stupendous sign,
down-to-earth Child, star of stars that shine.
Hope-for-peace Child, God’s stupendous sign,
down-to-earth Child, star of stars that shine.
This year, this year, let the day arrive,
when Christmas comes for everyone, everyone alive!
[DURING THESE, THE PRIEST AT THE ALTAR, TAKES THE PATEN...]