All Nfw Slofies by All Your Old Favorites in Galaxy’s OCTOBER 1965

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OCTOBER

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1965 SHtCKlEY

ISAAC ASIMOV Founding Father FREDERIK POHL The Age Of The Pussyfoot
H. L. GOLD Inside Man ROBERT SHECKLEY ShallWe Have A Little Tall?
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EDGAR PANGBORN A Better Mousehole CORDWAINER SMITH Three To A Given Star
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FREDERIK POHL
OCTOBER, 1965 • Vd. 24, No. 1 Editor

CONTENTS WILLY LEY

SERIAL — Part One Science Editor
DIANE SULLIVAN
THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 8 Associate Editor
by Frederik Pohl ROBERT M. GUINN
NOVELETTES Publisher
THREE TO A GIVEN STAR 105 DAVID PERTON
by Cordwoiner Smith Production Manager
SHALL WE HAVE A LimE TALK? 172 DAVE GEUER ASSOC.
Advertising
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SHORT STORIES Subscription Mgr.
INSIDE MAN 71
GALAXY MAGAZINE is published
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THE GOOD NEW DAYS 151 Mexico, South and Central
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Elsewhere $7.00. Second-ctass
FOUNDING FATHER 165 postage paid at New York. N.Y.
by Isaac Asimov and at additional mailing of-
fices. Copyright New York 1965
SPECIAL FEATURE by Galaxy Publishing Corpora-
THE AAACHINES, BEYOND SHYLOCK .. 82 tion, Robert M. Guinn, Presi-

by Ray Bradbury dent. All rights Including trans-

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FOR YOUR INFORMATION 84 ed by self-addressed st-smped
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FEATURES solicited material All stories
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EDITORIAL 4 fiction and any similiarity be-
by Frederik Pohl tween characters and actual
GALAXY BOOKSHELF 142 persons is coincidental

by Algis Budrys Printed in the U.S.A.

FORECAST By The Guinn Co., Inc. N. y.

171 Pat. Off.
Title Reg. U. S.
Cover by PEDERSON from FOUNDING FATHER
 The Daj After Tom4»rr<»^w

ened the
L
ness.
ooking into the future of
science fiction is tricky busi-
Any prediction is a risk. A
lives of
for nearly a decade.
lots of

Then a man named Stanley G.

i)eo])le

prediction of what so quintessen- Weinbaurn came along with a

tially a predictive technique as revolutionary idea. It was his
the writing of science fiction may thought that you could give some
be like at some later date than sort of three-dimensional reality
this one is not merely twice as to the characters in science-fic-
risky: it is folly squared. tion stories.He was not quite so
But it seems to us that there daring as to try it with his human
are trends. And this fifteenth an- beings, but his Martians, his Ven-
niversary issue of Galaxy may be usians and his Ganynicdan bal-
a good time to set a few remarks loon-heads are still vividly -c-
about them down. membered as persons a third of
The first real science-fiction a century later.
magazine appeared not quite for- Less than a decade later Jolin
ty years ago, in the spring of Campbell came up with a firsli
1926. was edited by Hugo
It and fascinating mixture: write
Gernsback and its principal sub- your stories, he told his writers,
stance was the kind of stories as though they were going to be
Gernsback himself used to write: printed as contemporary fiction
a sort of animated catalogue of in a magazine of the 22d century.
gadgets. Granting that was what And they did it; and they did it
he did, he did it superbly, and very well. L. Sprague de Camp,
as a matter of fact much of Robert A. Heinlein, Lester ilel
science fiction’s record of accur- Rey and any number of otliers
ate predictions stems from those responded with stories that an- in
early Gernsback-type stories: ra- print on the pocketbook racks
dar, television, atomic power, roc- right now. And about ten ye.irs
kets, etc,, et al. The mixture was after that it was Galaxy's turn;
flavored with a heavy admixture and with H. L. Gold as ediior
of H, G, Wells reprints (sermons another new batch of ingredients
and polemics, beautifully writ- were added. Thei.- names were wit^
ten), and a trace of Edgar Rice and relevance; and they were
Burroughs: and that tonic bright- compounded by writers like Roh .

4
 Secrets
entrusted
to a
few

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and accomplishment in the hands of practical helpfulness of their teachings.
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5
ert Sheckley, Fritz Leiber, Alfred past; the only difference is that
Bester, Damon
Knight, the late now it is changing more rapidly

C. M. Kornbluth and
others — than ever before. It will be
including most of those in this changing tomorrow, too; but it
issue will be changing faster still.
Well, this is an attempt to look It is technology that is chang-
ahead, not a history of science ing us so rapidly, of course. As
fiction. But oversimplified and man remakes his environment he
sketchy though what we have changes the Darwinian criteria
just said may be, it illustrates a of what, exactly, is “fittest”. Cala-
principle.Science fiction ad- mity criers have made much of
vances in a series of quantum the black side of this picture: we
jumps. are breeding a race of cripples,
It may seem to you from the they say, pointing to what mod-
above timetable that we are ern medicine has done to take the
about due for another jump. sting out of incurable genetic
It seems so to us, too; and as flaws. (One of the traits the hu-
a matter of fact, we think we’re man race seems to have had for
in it rig.it now. a good many generations is this
same habit of preserving its “un-
’I XTith negligible exceptions fit”. How many remember that
' ’
(Wells, Stapledon and the first Neanderthal skeleton
who?), nearly every science-fic- gave a very erroneous picture of
tion writer up to a very few the species because it chanced to
years ago made one hidden — be that of a middle-aged man
and indefensible —
assumption. with an advanced case of arthrit-
They assumed that science is? He could not have survived
changed; that the world chang- by himself; he had to have been
ed that everything you could
; preserved, fed and cared for.
imagine changed, except one The interesting thing about
thing. They assumed that the technological change is that its
human race did not change at rate of growth gives every sign
all. of being exponential. The oldest
And of course the human race computer, if it were human,
does. It has been changing from would just barely be able to vote;
the day the first australopithe- but in rather less than a human
cine picked up an antelope femur generation the computers have
and broke it over a dire-wolf’s firmly and irrevocably changed.

head. It is changing now, just as the rate of change. Visiting the

it has throughout the human Harvard-Smithsonian Astrophysi-

6
cal Observatory the other day, on Masters (and in the new
we talked to a man named Owen manuscript,, just in, called Tho
Gingerich who, last Christmas, Last Castle, which we will be
duplicated the work of Johann bringing you before long.
Kepler in determining the laws of They may in fact differ from
planetary orbits. It took Kepler us in ways that we
can’t as yet
three or four years to work out guess; but whatimportant is
is
the laws a few centuries ago. to realize that they will differ
Last Christmas, using the same from us. As John Pierce says,
observed data and the same there is only one future in a tan-
mathematical procedures, Ging- gible sense; that is, when it gets
erich repeated the process in here there will only be the one
eight days. Eight days of his own single set of events that will take
human time, that is. Those eight place. But our discussions of the
days were spent merely in setting future can take the form of end-
up the problem so that a com- less alternative worlds. We don’t
puter could solve it; and the know which will be the “true”
actual operating time of the com- future —
so we might as well im-
puter was twelve point four sec- agine as many as we can.
onds. Well, that’s what we’re bend-
ing every effort to bring you in
'"T^o those who have been read- Galaxy’s future.
ing stories by, for example. Be specific? All right. As you
Jack Vance and Cordwainer can see, Robert Sheckley’s back
Smith in Galaxy lately, this news with us —
and to stay, it seems,
is no news. For that is what they because he’s working on a batch
and others have been writing of new ones for us right now.
about: Not you and we trans- Cordwainer Smith is off in
planted into the world of the the South Pacific on an an-
future, but the people of the thropological expedition but
world of the future operating on before he left he finished Under
their own terms. Perhaps they Old Earth which strikes us as one
will think faster and more surely of his best stories ever. Keith
than we (by a factor of three Laumer will be coming up again;
years divided by twelve point four so will Isaac Asimov: so will
seconds, for example). Perhaps Robert Silverberg; so will . . .

they will have traveled so far Well, that’s looking far enough
from us that even computers are ahead. The rest of the forecast-
no longer relevant to their lives, ing we’ll leave to the writers!
as Vance described in The Drag — THE EDITOR
7
Forresterbad made his mind up. He
was going to adjust to this mad new
world even if it killed him —again!
8
PUSSYFOOT by FREDERIK POHL

SERIAL
Illustrated by WOOD
PART ONE
9
 I And he cried and he cried and
he cried —
/^ver everyone in the room, or (SPLASH)
perhaps it was a park, the With his rages and his cholers
lighting cast shapes and symbols he’s a puzzle to the scholars.
of color. The girl in the filmy And he’s got a quarter of a
gown had at one moment glitter- million dollars!
ing pink eyes, and at the next an Forrester!
aura of silvery hair. The man (SPLASH, SPLASH)
next to Forrester had golden skin
and a mask of shadow. Wisps of Forrescer ducked without
odor drifted past him, rosebuds thinking, then relaxed. He al-
following sage. There were lowed them to drench him with
snatches of a crystalline, far-off the warm, scented water. “En-
music. joy, enjoy!” he cried, grinning at
"I’m rich!” he yelled. “And the bare bodies. Bronze and
alive!” ivory, lean or soft, every body
Noone seemed to mind. For- was beautiful. He knew that
rester plucked one of the color- none of them would think the
less grapes Kara had recom- worse of him if he touched the
mended to him, rose, patted the two snaps at throat and waist
girl in the filmy dress and and .stepped out of his clothes
walked unsteadily down to the to join them. But he also knew
pool where the revelers splashed that his body would not compare
and swam in a naked tangle. well with the Adonises, would
In spite of the long post-revival not impress the full-breasted
indoctrinatior that had given him Venuses, and so he stayed on
so many new things and removed the rim. “Drink and be merry,
so much trash that For- was old, we died,” he called
for yesterday
rester had not lost the habit of and squirted them at random
prurience. with his joymaker. He didn’t
“It’s Forrester the rich man!” mind that he was not as beauti-
one of them shouted. Forrester ful as they. At least, not at this
smiled and waved. A girl cried, moment. He was happy. Nothing
“Sing him a song! A song!” And was troubling him. Not worry,
they all splashed and sang: not weariness, not fear. Not even
his conscience; for, although he
Oh, he died and died and was wasting time, he had a right
died — to waste time.
(SPLASH) Hara had said so. “Relax.” ad-

10 GALAXY
vised Hara. “Get acclimated. Go Is he damning? Is he doom-
slow. You’ve been dead a long ing?
time.” Forrester was well content For that matter, is he hu-
to follow his advice. In the morn- man?
ing he would take things serious- Forrester!
ly. In the morning he would go
out into this world and make a But he was too far away for
place for himself. With unas- them to splash him now, and he
suming pride he thought that he had seen someone he wanted to
would do this not because he talk to.
really needed to, for he had that It was a girl. She had just
quarter of a million dollars all come in and was still rather
right, but because it was proper sober. She was alone. And she
that he should work and earn was quite as tall as Forrester
joy. He would be a good citizen. himself.
Experimentally he shouted Hara would introduce him if

what he thought of as a friendly asked, Forrester knew, since this

obscene suggestion to one of the
girls (although Hara had said
that the talk of this time con-
tained no obscenities). In return
she made a charming gesture,
which Forrester tried to think .of
as an obscene one, and her com-
paiiion, stretched out at the edge
of the pool, drowsily lifted his
joymaker and drenched Forrest-
er with a tingling spray that,
startlingly, brought him to an
instant thrill of sexual
ment and then left him
and momentarily exhausted.
What a delightful way
Forrester thought. He turned and
walked away, followed by song:
And he slept and he slept
and he slept.
And he wept and he wept
and he wept — on their backs, each with an arm
was more or less Hara’s party.
But he did not at that moment
see Hara. Didn’t need Hara,
either, he decided. He walked
up and touched her
to the girl
on the arm.
“I am Charles D. Forrester,”
he said. “I am six hundred and
twenty-six old. I have a quarter
of a million dollars. This is my
first day out of the sleep-freeze,
and I would appreciate it if you
excite- would sit down and talk to me
replete for a while, or kiss me.”
“Certainly,” she said, taking
to live, his hand. “Let’s lie down here
on the violets. Careful of my
joymaker; it’s loaded with some-
thing special.”
TTalf an hour later Hara came
by and found them, lying

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 11

under the other, heads inclined
toward each other.
Forrester noticed him at once,
but went on talking to the girl.
They had been plucking and
eating the glass-clear grapes
from a vine over their heads. The
intoxicating fruit, the occasion
and his general sense of well be-
ing combined to erase social ob-
ligations from his mind. Any-
way, Hara would understand and
forgive any offense. “Don’t mind
him, dear,’’ Forrester said to the
girl. “You were telling me not
to sign up as a donor.”
“Or as game. A lot of green-
horns fall for that, because the
money’s good. But the way they
get you is that you don’t
what it will cost in
run.”
“That’s very interesting,” said
Forrester, then sighed, looked
away from the girl and nodded
up at Hara. “You know, flara,”
he said, “you’re a drag.”
“And you’re a drunk,” said
Hara. “Hello, Tip. You two seem
to be getting on well enough.”
“He’s nice,” the girl said. “Of
course, you’re nice too, Tip. Is it
time for the champagne wine?”
“Well past. That’s why I came
looking for you. I went to a lot
of trouble to get this champagne
wine for the party, and Forrester
will damn well get up and drink
some to show the rest of us how
it’s done.”
12
“You tilt,” said Forrester, “and
you pour.”
Hara looked at him more
carefully, shook his head and
fingered his joymaker. “Don’t
you remember anything I tell
you?” he chided, and sprayed
Forrester with what felt for a
moment like an invigorating, and
not at all shocking, ice-cold
shower. “Not too drunk tonight.
Get adjusted. Do what I tell
you, will you? And now let’s see
about this champagne wine.”
Forrester got up like an obed-
ient child and trailed after Hara
toward the dispensing tables, one
arm around the girl. She had pale
hair,up in a fluffy crown, and the
figure tricks of the lighting made it
the long look as though fireflies nested in
it.
In the event that he ever saw
Dorothy again, Forrester
thought, he might have to give
this sort of thing up. But for the
time being it was very pleasant.
And reassuring. It was hard for
him to remember, when he had
an arm around a pretty girl, that
ninety days before his body had
been a cryogenic crystal in an
ambience of liquid helium, with
his heart stopped and his brain
still and his lungs a clot of de-
stroyed scar tissue.
He popped the cork of the
champagne like a good fellow,
toasted and drank. He had never
seen the label before, but it was
GALAXY
champagne all right. At Hara’s did not know when the paity
request he roared the verses of ended. He had a dreamlike
The Bastard King of England memory of the girl leading aim
amid much applause, and would across an empty way bet\\'een
not let anyone sober him though tall,dark structures like monu-
he knew he was beginning again ments, while he shouted and sang
to reel and stammer. “You de- to the echoes. He remembered
cadent sods,” he bellowed am- kissing the girl, and some vag-
iably, “you know so much! But rant aphrodisiac wisp from her
you don’t know how to get joymaker that filled him with a
drunk.” confused emotion of mingled de-
They were dancing, a linlisd sire and fear. But he did not re-
circle of all tv/enty-odd of them member returning to bis room
with foot-stamping and sudden or going to sleep.
changes of direction, a little like And when he woke In the
a Morris dance, a little like a morning he was buoyant, rested,
Paul Jones, to music like pizzi- vigorous and alone.
cato cello and the piping of
flutes. The girl cried, “Oh, II
Charles! Charles Forrester! You
almost make an Arcadian of '"T^he bed in which Forrester
me!” He nodded and grinned and woke was oval, springy and
clung to her on his right, and to gently warm. It woke him by
a huge creature in orange tights purring faintly at him, soothing-
on his left, a man who, some- ly and cheerfully. Then as he
one said, had just returned from began to stir the purring stopped,
Mars and was stumbling and and the surface beneath his body
straining in Earth’s gravity. But gently began to knead his
he was laughing. Everyone was muscles. Lights came on. There
laughing. A lot of them seemed was a distant sound of lively
to be laughing at Forrester, per- music, like a Gypsy trio. For-
haps at his clumsy attempts to rester stretched, yawned, ex-
follow the step. plored his teeth with his tongue
That was almost the last he and sat up.
remembered. There was some “Good morning, Man Forres-
shouting about what to do with ter,” said the bed. “It is eight-
him, a proposal to sober him up, fifty hours and you have an ap-
a veto, a long giggling debate pointment at nine seventy-five.
while he nodded happily like a Would you like me to tell you
whiskered head on a spring. He your calls?”

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 13


“Not now,” said Forrester at
once. Hara had told him about
the bed. It did not startle him.
It was a convenience, not a
threat. It was one more com-
fortable part of this very amiable
world.
Forrester, who had been thirty-
seven years old when he was
burned to death and still con-
sidered that to be his age, lit a
cigarette, considered his situation
carefully and decided that it
a state unmatched by any other
thirty-seven year old man in
the history of the world. He had
it made. Life. Health. Good
company. And a quarter of a mil-
lion dollars.
He was not, of course,
unique as he thought. But as he
had not yet fully accepted the
fact that he had himself been
dead and was now returned to
life, much less that there were
millions upon millions like him,
it ielt unique. It felt very good.
have just received another
“I
message for you, Man Forrester,’’
said the bed.
“Save it,” said Forrester.
ter have a cup of coffee.”
I No one would stop him. no one
“Do you wish me to send you
a cup of coffee, Man Forrester?”
“You’re a nag, you know that?
I’ll tell you what I want and
when I want it.”
What Forrester really wanted,
although he had not articulated
it even to himself, was to go on
14
—
enjoying for a moment the sen-
sation of being uncommitted. It
was like was like
a liberation. It
that firstweek of basic training,
in the Army, when he realized
that there was a hard way to get
through this hitch and an easy
one, and that the easy one, which
entailed making no decisions of
his own and taking no iniciative,
but merely doing what he was
told, was like nothing so much
was as a rather prolonged holiday in
a somewhat poorly equipped
summer camp for adults.
Here the accommodations
were sumptuous. But the
in fact
principle was the same. He did
not have to concern himself with
as obligations. He had no obliga-
tions. He didn’t have to worry
about making sure the kids got
up for school, because he no
longer had any children. He
didn’t have to think about
whether his wife had enough
money to get through the day,
because he didn’t now have a
wife. If he wanted to, ha could
now roll over, pull the covers
“Af- over his head and go to sleep.
would be aggrieved. If he chose,
he could get drunk, attempt the
seduction of a girl or write a
poem. All of his debts were paid
— or forgiven, centuries since.
Every promise was redeemed
or had passed beyond the chance
of redemption. The lie he had
GALAXY
told Dorothy about that week- Tan Forrester,” said the
end in 1962need trouble him no bed, “I must insist. I
longer. If the truth now came have both an urgent- class mes-
out, no one would care; and it sage and a personal-visit not-
wa.s all but impossible that the ice.” And the mattress curled un-
truth should ever come out. der him, humped itself and de-
He had, in short, a blank posited him on the floor of the
check on life. room.
More than that, he had a pret- Staggering, Forrester growled,
ty underwritten
substantially “What’s urpnt?”
guarantee of continuing life it- “A hunting license has been
self. He wasn’t sick. He wasn’t taken out on you, Man Forres-
even threatened; even the lump ter. The licensee is Heinzlichen
on his leg, which he had once or Jura de Syrtis Major, male, dip-
twice gazed on with some worry ara-Zen, Utopian, eighty-six
in the days before 'nis death, elapsed, six feet four inches im-
could not be malignant or threat- port-export. He is extraterres-
ening, for if it were the doctors trial-human. No reason declared.
at the dormer would have fixed Bonds and guaranties have been
it. He need not even worry about posted. Would you like your
being run over by a car if — coffee now?”
—
there were cars since at worst While the bed was speaking it
that might mean only another had been rolling itself into a wall.
few centuries in the Oath of It disappeared into a sphincter
liquid helium, and then back to that closed and left no trace. It
life —
better than ever! was disconcerting, but Forrester
He had, in fact, everytliing he remembered Hara’s instructions,
had ever wished for. searched for and found his joy-
The only things he didn’t have maker, and said to it; “I would
were those he had not wished like my breakfast now. Ham and
for because he already had them eggs. Toast and orange juice.
. .e.g., family. Friends. Status.
. Coffee, and a pack of cigar-
In this life of the year 2527 ettes.”
A.D., Charles Forrester was en- “They will be delivered in five
tirely free. But he was not so minutes, Man Forrester,” said
joyous as to be blinded to the the joymaker. “May I give you
fact that this coin of his treasure the rest of your messages?”
had two sides. Another way of “Wait a minute. I thought it
looking at it was that he was was the bed that was giving me
entirely superfluous.

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 15

 ””

‘We are all the same, Man at least, he reminded himself,

Forrester. Your messages follow: the taped voice of what at one
Notice of personal visit: Taiko time had been a human being
Hironibi will join you for break- . .anyway, it didn’t feel nat-
.

fast. Dr. Hara has prescribed a ural. He said guardedly: “I

euphoric in case of need, which don’t understand all this. I don’t
will be delivered with your know who these people are who
breakfast. Adne Bensen sends are calling me up, either.”
you a kiss. First Merchants Audit “Man Forrester, the personal
Be Trust invites your patronage. callers are as follows. Taiko Hir-
Society of Ancients states you onibi: Male, dendritic Confucian,
have been approved for mem- Arcadian, fifty-one elapsed, six
bership and relocation benefits. feet one inch, organizer, business
Ziegler, Durant and Colfax, at- political. He will bring his ow.n
tornies
— breakfast. Adne Bensen: Female,
“You can skipthe commer- Universalist, Arcadian-trimmer,
cials. What was that about a twenty-three declared, five feet
hunting license?” seven inches, experiencer-homes-
“A hunting license has been woman, no business stated. Her
taken out on you, Man Forres- kiss follows.”
ter. The licensee is Heinzlichen Forrester did not know what
Jura de — to expect but was pleasantly
“You said that. Wait a min- ready for anything.
ute.” Forrester regarded his joy- What he got was indeed a kiss.
maker thoughtfully. The prin- It was disconcerting. No kissing
ciple of it was clear enough. It lips were visible. There was a
was a remote input-output sta- hint of perfumed breath, then a
tion for a shared-time computer pressure on his lips warm and —
program, with certain attach- soft, moist and sweet.
ments which functioned as Startled, he touched his
pocket flask, first-aid kit, cos- mouth. “How the devil did you
metic bag and so on. It looked do that?” he shouted.
something like a mace, or a jes- “Sensory stimulation through
ter’s scepter. Forrester told him- the tactile net, Man Forrester.
self that it was really no less Will you receive Taiko Hiron-
natural to talk to something like ibi?”
a mace than it was to talk into “Well,” said Forrester, “frank-
something like a telephone. But ly I don’t know. Oh, hell. I guess
at the other end of a telephone so. Send him in . . . Wait a min-
had been a human being ... or ute. Shouldn’t I get dressed?”

16 GALAXY
 ” ” ”

“Do you wish other rhjth'njj, disconcerted. He also looked

Man Forrester?” quite non- Japanese: crew-cut
“Don’t confuse me. Just nc-ld golden hair, blue eyes. “They
on a minute,” he said, rattled change you around so,” he said
and angry. He thought for a apologetically. “Maybe I used to
minute. “I don’t know who this look different. Say! Did I get
Hirowhatsis is — here first?”
“Taiko Hironibi, Man For- “You got here before my
rester. Male, dendritic Confuc- breakfast even.”
ian
— “Great! That’s really great.
“Cut that out!” Forrester was Now, here’s the thing. We’re all
breathing hard. Abruptly the messed up here, you have to
joymaker in his hand hissed and get that straight right away. The
sprayed him with something that people are .sheep. They know
f( It damp for a second, then dis- they’re being expropriated, but
sipated. do they do anything about it?
Forrester felt himself relaxing. Sweat, no, they sit back and en-
“Oh, God,” he said, “what do joy it. That’s what we’re for m
care who he is? Go ahead. the Ned Lud Society. I lon’t
I

Send him in. And get a move on know your politics, Charley —
with my breakfast, will you?” “I used to be a Democrat,
mostly.”
tt'V/'ou’ll do!” cried Taiko “ —
Well, you can forget that.
Hironibi. “The greatest! It doesn’t matter. I’m registered
What a cranial index! You look, Arcadian myself, of cour^, but
cripes, I don’t know what to a lot of guys are Trimmers,
call it, you look like a brain. But —
maybe ” he winked —
“maybe
a swinger.” even something a little worse,
Charles Forrester, gravely and you know? We’re all in this
cheerfully, indicated a seat with together. everybody. If
Affects
his hand. “Sit down. I don’t you your kids with ma-
raise
know what you want but I’m chines you’re bound to have ma-
willing to talk about it.” He was chine-lovers growing up, right?
pretty sure that the joymaker Now—”
had given him some kind of a “Hey!” said Forrester, losking
tranquilizer, but he didn’t mind. at his wall. At a point as near as
“Sit down, Taiko,” he said. he could remember just about
“You’re the damnedest looking where the bed had disappeared,
Japanese I ever saw.” a sphincter was opening again.
“Really?” The man looked It disgorged a table set for two.

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 17

one side bearing his breakfast, It crossed Forrester’s mind
the other a complete setting but that the capsule, plus what the
no food. joymaker had sprayed him witli,
“Ah, breakfast,” said Taiko might add up to something larg-
Hironibi. He opened a pouch in er than he was ready for. He felt
the kilt-like affair he wore and almost giddy. Better guard
took out a small capped bowl, against that, he thought, and de-
a plastic box which turned out manded unpleasantly as he
as
to contain something like could: “Who sent you here?”
crackers and a globe which, —
“Why the contact was Adne
squeezed, poured a hot, watery, Bensen.”
greenish tea into the cup at ais “Don’t know her,” snapped
place. “Care for a pickled Forrester, trying not to grin.
plum?” he asked politely, re- “You don’t?” Taiko stopped
moving the cap from the bowl. eating, dismayed. “Sweat, man,
Forrester shook his head. she told me you’d be —
Chairs had appeared beside the “Doesn’t matter,” cried For-
table, and he slid into the one rester, and prepared for the kill-
placed before the ham and eggs. ing question he had been saving.
Next to the steaming plate was “Just tell me this. What’s the
a small crystal tray containing advantage of my joining your
a capsule and a scrap of golden society?”
paper on which was written The blond man was clearly
disgruntled. “Listen, I’m not
I don’t know about that begging you. We got something
champagne wine. Take this if good here. You want in, come
you have a hungover. in. You want out, go.”
Hara “No, don’t give me an argu-
ment. Just answer the question.”
To the best of Forrester’s Forre,ster managed to light a cig-
knowledge he didn’t have a hang- arette, puffed smoke in Taiko’s
over, but the capsule looked face. “For instance,” he said,
too good to waste. He swallowed “would it be money that’s in-
it with some of the orange juice volved?”
and at once felt even more re- “Well, sure. Everybody needs
laxed. If that were possible. He money, right? But that’s not the
felt positively affectionate to- only thing —
ward the blond Japanese, now Forrester said, politely but
decorously nibbling at a dark, severely, restraining the impulse
withered object. to giggle: “You know, I had an

18 GALAXY
idea it would be like that. Well,
thanks. You better be going
now, Hironibi. I’ll think over
what you said and maybe we
can get together some time. But
don’t you call me. Let me call
you.” And he bowed Taiko to
the door and watched it close
behind him, face straight until
the Japanese was gone.
Then Forrester bent over and
howled with laughter. “Come
man!” he shouted. “Think I’m
an easy mark!”
“I do not understand, Man
Forrester,” said the joymaker.
“Are you addressing me?”
“Not in this life,” Forrester
told the machine, still chuck-
ling. He might look like a coun-
try cousin, but there was one
sharper who had got no farther
than first base.
He wondered who this Adne
Bensen was, who had fingered
him for the swindler and sent
him an electronic kiss. If she
kissed in person like she kissed
through sensory stimulation of
the tactile net she might be
worth knowing. And no problem,
either. If Taiko was the worst
this century could turn up, For-
rester thought with pleasure and
joy, his quarter of a million dol-
lars was safe!
'T'wenty minutes later
his way to the street level
of the building, not without ar-
guments from this joymaker.
“Man P’orrester,” it said,sound-
ing almost aggrieved, “it is bet-
ter to take a taxi! Do not walk.
The guaranties do not apply to
provocation and contributory
neghgence.”
“Shut up for a minute, will
you?” Forrester managed to get
the door open and looked out.
The city of 2527 A.D. was very
lafge, very fast-moving and very
noisy. Forrester was standing in
a sort of driveway, a clump of
ethereal, thirty-foot-high ferns
in front of him partially making
a twelve-lane highway packed to
its margins with high-speed
traffic in both directions. Occas-
ionally a vehicle would cut in
to the entrance to his building,
pause before him for a moment
and then move on. Taxis? For-
rester wondered. If so, he was
giving them no encouragem^t.
“Man Forrester,” said the joy-
maker, “I have summoned
death-reversal equipment but it
will not arrive for several min-
utes. I must warn you the costs
may be challenged under the
bonding regulations.”
“Oh, shut up.” It seemed to
be a warm day, and Forrester
was perhaps still slightly befud-
dled; the temptation to walk was
irresistible. All questions could be
he found deferred. Should be deferred, he
told himself. Obviously his first
task was to get himself oriented.

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 19

And —
he prided himself he had — buildings, one a soft, glowing
been something of a cosmopoli- orange, one the crystalline blue-
tan, back in those days before gray coloi of fractured steel. In
his death, as at home in San the court of a building across
Francisco or Montreal as in New the trafficway he could see,
York or Chicago. And he had al- dimly through the glass and the
ways made time to stroll around momentary gaps in the traffic,
a city a dot of plant growth with
He would .itroll this one now enormous scarlet fruits On a
Joymakers be damned, thought balcony above him scented foun-
Charles Forrester, right-faced, tains played.
hooked the joymaker to his belt The joymaker was addressing
and set off along a narrow pe- him again, but he could only
destrian walk catch art Oi it. “ —
on station
There were very few walkers now, Man Forrester.” A shadow
It didn’t do to lake snap judg-
.
passed over him and he looked
ments, Forrester thought, but up.
these people seemed soft. Per- Overhead a white aircraft of
haps they could afford to be. No —
some sort it had no wings was —
doubt someone like himself, he sliding diagonally down toward
considered soberly, seemed like him.
a hairy troglodyte, crude, savage It bore a glittering ruby
and flint-axed. insigne like the serpent staff of
“Man Forrester,” cried the Aesculapius on its sides. The
joymaker from his belt, “I must nearer end of it was all glass
inform you that Heinzlichen and exposed, and inside a young
Jura de Syrtis Major has waived woman in crisply tailored blue
protest of the bonding regula- was drowsily watching something
tions. The death-reversal equip- on a screen invisible to Forrester.
ment is on its way.” He slapped She looked up, gazed at him,
it and it w'a^ quiet, or if it con- spoke into a microphone, glanced
tinued to bleat at him it was at him again and went back to
drowned out by the sound of the watching her screen. The vehicle
clamoring traffic. Whatever took position over his head and
drove these cars it was not gas- waited, following with him as ne
oline. There were no fumes. walked.
There was only a roar of air and “That’s funny,” said Forrester
singing tires, multiplied by hun- aloud.
dreds and unending. The traffic- “It’s a funny world,” said
way lay between tall, bright somebody quite near him.

20 GALAXY
T Te turned around. Four men angle and the sidewalk struck
-* -*
were standing there, looking him on the forehead. He rolled,
at him with pleasant, open ex- clutching at his testicles, and
pressions. One of them was very found himself looking upward.
tall and very heavy. In fact, he The man from Mars said con-
was gross. He leaned on a cane, versationally, “Don’t hurry.
studying Forrester, his expres- Plenty of time for everybody.”
sion alert and interested. He lifted his cane and limped
Forrester realized that he was forward. It was quite an effort
the one who had spoken and, for him in Earth’s gravity, after
in the same moment, realized Mars, Forrester saw. The cane
that he knew him. “Oh, sure,” he came down on his shoulder and
said. “The Martian in orange upper arm, was lifted and came
tights.” down again, regularly, slowly
“Very good,” said the Mar- and strongly. It must have been
tian, nodding. He was not in or- weighted. It felt like a baseball
ange tightr now; he wore a loose bat.
white tunic and slate-gray shorts. The pain in Forrester’s gut was
He wasn’t really a Martian, like death. His arm was numb.
Forrester remembered; at least, All in all, though, he realized
his ancestors had come from quite —
clearly unable to move,
Earth. watching as they passed the cane
One of the other men took from hand to hand and the white
Forrester’shand and shook it. aircraft hovered overhead, the
“You’re the one with a quarter woman’s face peering patiently
of a million dollars,” he said. dovm —
all in all, it was hurting
“Look me up when this is all rather less than he might have
over. I’d like to know what a expected. Perhaps it was Hara’s
fellow like you thinks of our hungover medicine. Perhaps it
world.” was just shock.
He brought his knee up and He tried to speak, but his
kicked Forrester in the groin. lungs were not working.
Hard. He saw that someone was run-
Forrester felt the world ex- ning toward them, someone with
plode, starting inside him. He a black face under a green beret,
saw that the man was stepping but he could not keep his eyes
back, looking at him with inter- open.
est and pleasure; but it was hard He could not quite lose con-
to watch him because the city sciousness either, though he
was moving. It tilted up at an wanted to very much. Perhaps

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 21

that was Hara’s euphoric pill too. Impatiently she moved her
Then he felt that he was suc- hand. The arena with the man
ceeding. The pain in his belly and girl disappeared just as —
grew/ alarmingly, and began to the man seemed to be raising the
recede again, and then felt gun —and Forrester found him-
nothing at all, or nothing phys- self looking at blue sky and
ical. .iouds “Lift up a little,” the girl
But there was something pain- in blue said. “You’ll see it.
ful in his mind, something th.at There.”
whimpered. Why? Why me? Forrester tried to raise himself
on an elbow, caught a glimpse of
Ill trees and rambling pastel build-
ings and fell back. “I can’t lift
TTowls of laughter rolled over myself up! Damn it, I’ve been
Forrester. A girl was scream- half killed.” He became aware
ing, “He’s spinning it! He’s spin- that he was on a sort of stretcher,
ning it! Gee. I think I saw the and that there was another one
cartridge!” beside him. The other one was
Forrester opened his eyes. He also occupied, by someone with
was in something that lurched a sheet over him. “Who’s that?”
and hummed. A girl in a tailored he cried.
blue suit, her back to him, was “How would I know? I just
staring at what seemed to be a bring them in, I don’t write their
window opening on a sort of are- life stories. Now relax or I’ll have
na, where the screaming girl, face to put you to sleep.”
flushed and happy, stamping “You silly bitch,” said Forrest-
with excitement, was standing er precisely. “I’m not going to
over a blindfolded man with a stand for this. I demand that
gun. you —
Wait a minute! What are
Forrester’s aches and bruises you doing?”
reminded him at once of what The girl had turned around,
had happened. He was surprised and she was holding something
that he was still alive. He croak- very like his joymaker, pointed
ed, “Hey!” at him. “Are you going to shut
The girlthe tailored blue
in up and lie still?”
looked over her shoulder at him. “I warn you! Don’t you dare!”
“You’re all right,” she said. “Just She sighed and something cool
take it easy. We’ll be there in a touched his face.
minute.” Forrester gathered all his
“Where?” strength to tell her what he

22 GALAXY
thought of her, her probable sex able hope, the largest industry
life and this world of hers, in of the late twentieth century had
which arbitrary and unpleasant been built.
things were done to well to do The reasonable hope was that
men like himself. He couldn’t. All the progress of medicine in past
that came out was, “Arr, a-r-r-r.” years would be matched by simi-
He was not unconscious, but he lar progress in the future so —
was very weak. that no matter what a person
The girl said, “You weep me, might die of, at some future time
greenie. You are a greenhorn, a way would be found to cure it,
aren’t you? I can always tell. to repair it, or at least to make
You people wake up in the dor- it irrelevant to continuing life

mer and you tliink you’re God’s and activity. (Including a meth-
own sweat. Mother! Sure you’re od of repairing the damage due
alive. Sure you’ve had the biggest to freezing to that temperature.)
break you can imagine. But do The fact was that freezing
you think we care?” stopped time.
All this time the aircraft was And the industry was Immor-
slipping and turning, coming in tality, Inc.

for a landing. The girl,
would have thought to be the
pilot, paid no attention. She was
very cross. She said, “Now, I
know my job, and my job is to
keep you alive, or keep you
safely dead till they can take
care of you. I don’t have to talk
to you.”
Forrester said, “A-r-r-r.”
“I don’t even like you,” she
said with vexation, “and you’ve
made me miss my favorite pro-
gram. Oh, go to sleep.”
And she raised the joymaker
again, just as Forrester felt the
aircraft touch ground, and he did.
who one In the city of Shoggo in which
Forrester had awakened, a city
which was nearly nine hundred
years old and enormous, a thou-
sand acres of park along a lake-
front had humped themselves
into a hill. All around was flat.
The hill itself was an artifact.
It was, as a matter of fact, the
freezing center for that part of
the world.
A hundred and fifty million
cubic yards of earth had been
eaten out of the ground to make
a cold-storage locker for people.
When the locker was built, most
of the dirt was heaped back on
top of it for insulation.

^ tthe temperature of liquid The differential in temperature

helium chemistry stops. between ground level and the
On this fact, and one reason- heart of the frozen hill was near-

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 23

ly five hundred degrees, Fahren- This last thing made him feel
heit, or three hundred and more better, whatever it was. He found
in the Kelvin scale on which the that he was able to speak.
dormer operated. “Thank you,” he said.
When Forrester realized where The young-looking, red-faced
the white aircraft had taken him man who was working over him
he was instantly submerged in a at that moment nodded casual-
terror he could not express. Be- ly, touched Forrester’s navel with
ginning to awaken, he was still the end of a silvery probe,
terribly weak, as though one of glanced at it and said, “All right,
those sprays from the girl’s joy- I guess we’re through with you.

maker had shorted out ninety per Get up and let’s see if you can
cent of his volitional muscle con- walk to Hara’s office.”
trol. (As in fact it had) He saw Forrester swung his legs out
the bright featureless ceiling ov- of the sort of low-walled crib he
erhead and heard the moan and was in and found he could walk
click of the thousand frightening as well as ever. Even his bruises
instruments that brought people didn’t hurt, or not much, al-
back to life, and fugued into a though already he could detect
terrifying certainty that they what seemed to be the beginning
were going to freeze him again. return of pain.
He lay there, groaning inarticu- The red-faced man said,
lately, while things were done to “You’re fine. Stay out of here for
him. a while, will you? don’t for-And
But they were not freezing get to see Hara, because you’re
him. in some kind of trouble.” He
They were just patching him turned away as Forrester started
up. The blood was washed away. to ask questions. “How would
The bruises were scrubbed with I know what kind? Just go see

something metallic, then touched Hara.”

with a transparent stiff jelly in
a long silvery tube that looked
something like a large lipstick.
His left thigh was pressed for a
moment between two glowing
screens which he knew to be a
sort of X-ray, and a fine
of something that glistened wet
and dark was painted over
heart.
A slim green arrowhead skip-
ped along the floor ahead
of him, guiding him to Hara’s of-
fice, but actually Forrester
thought he could have found it
wash without the guide that had been
provided. Once he left the emer-
his gency rooms he was in the part
of the dormer he remembered.

24 GALAXY
Here he had wakened out of a
frozen sleep that lasted half
a milennium. There he had gone
every day for a week for bath-
ing in some sort of light, warm
oil had vibrated and tingled,
that
and made him feel drowsy but
stronger each day. It was on the
level below this that he had done
his exercises, and in the building
across the bed of poinsettias (ex-
cept that these poinsettias were
bright gold) that he had slept.
He wondered what had be-
come of the rest of what he
thought of as his graduating class.
The thawed Lazaruses were pro-
cessed in batches — fifty at a
clip, at least in his group— and
although he had not spent much
THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT
time with any of them there was
something about this shared ex-
perience that had made him
know them quickly.
But when they were discharg-
ed they all went in separate direc-
tions, apparently for policy rea-
sons. Forrester regretted they had
lost touch.
Then he laughed out loud. A
blue-jacketed woman, walking
toward him along the haU and
talking into an instrument on
her wrist, looked up at him with
curiosity and faint contempt.
“Sorry,” he said to her, still
chuckling, as the green beacon
of light turned a corner and he
followed He didn’t doubt he
looked peculiar. He felt peculiar.
25
He was missing these fellow- Tlien tardily recollection dawn-
graduates of the freezatorium ed. “Unless,” he finished thought-
with the fond, distant detach- fully, “that’swhat the joymaker
ment of his high-school class. Yet was mumbling about. It was all
it was less than forty-eight hours about bonds and guaranties and
since he had been with them. somebody named Heinz-some-
A busy forty-eight hours, he thing of Syrtis Major. That’s on
thought. A bit frightening, too. Mars, isn’t it? Say.” Recognition
Even wealth was not as secure a hardily dawned.
buffer against this world as he “Heinzlichen Jura de Syrtis
had thought. Major,” Hara supplied, toasting
The flickering green light led Forrester with his glass and tak-
him into Hara’s office and disap- ing a tiny sip of the drink. For-
peared. rester followed suit; it was cham-
Hara was standing at the door, pagne. Hara sighed and said, “I
waiting for him. “Damned don’t know, Charlie, but I don’t
kamikaze,” he said amiably, think I’ll acquire a taste for this
“can’t I trust you out of my sight stuff after all.”
for a minute?” “Never mind that! The Mar-
Forrester, who had never been tian! The fellow in orange tights!
a demonstrative man, seized his He’s the one who beat me up,
hand and shook it. “Jesus, I’m he and his gang!”
glad to see you! I’m mixed up. I Hara looked faintly puzzled.
don’t know what the hell is go- “Why, of course.”
ing on, and — “And then,” said Forrester,
“Just stay out of trouble, will working it out in his mind, “there
you? Sit down.” Hara made a was this colored fellow. I mean,
seat come out of the wall, and Negro. I guess he was a Negro

a bottle out of his desk. He — Anyway, he came along.”

thumbed the cork expertly and “There was,” said Hara, “an-
poured a drink for Forrester, say- other man brought in. with you.
ing, “Iexpected you under your Let’s see. Graphite-gray. Hair,
own power this morning, you black, kinked. Eyes brown. Is
know. Not in a DR
cart. Didn’t that what you mean?”
the center warn you somebody “Sure. I think he was trying
was after you?” to help me.”
“Positively not!” Forrester was “Oh,” Hara said, “there’s no
both startled and indignant. doubt of that. Messed things up
“What do you mean, after me? I for fair, he did. He’s in the freez-
had no idea — er now. They killed him. Nitro-

26 GALAXY
gen batch —we’re just holding Forrester searc’ned his mem-
him until we get parts. There’s ory. “Oh, that. Maybe I left it

a compatibility problem, so it at the party.”

might be a week or two . .
“Killed him?”
Forrester tipped up his ruby-
crystal glass and drained the
—
champagne heaven knevi; where
Hara had found it, after Forres-
ter had mentioned it as one of
the great goods of the past
and it was by no means appro-
priate to the occasion. It tickled
“Well, that computes,” Hara
said with some disgust. “I mean
figures. I’ll see you get another
one. Meanwhile, will you please
try to bear in mind, first, that
you’re sort of my responsibility,
second, that you don’t know your
— way around? I’ll see you get an-
other copy of the book. Read
it! Come back and see me tomor-

his nose. row; I’ve got work to do now.

But at least it contained al- On your way out stop at the
cohol, which Forrester felt he discharge office and pick up your
needed. stuff.”
He said humbly, “Please ex- He escorted Forrester to the
plain what happened.” door, turned, then paused.
“Sweat, Charles, where do I “Oh. Adne Bensen sends re-
start? What did you do to Hen- gards. Nice girl. She likes you,”
zie?” he said, closed the door and was
“Nothing! I mean — well, gone.
nothing, really. I might have
stepped on his feet when we were orrester completed his pro-
dancing.”
Hara
F cessing and was released by
said angrily, “A Mars- the medical section, receiving as
man? You stepped on his feet?" he left a neat white folder with
“What’s so bad about that? I his name imprinted in gold.
mean, even if I did. I’m not sure It contained four sets of docu-
I did. Would you blow your stack ments. One was a sheaf of medi-
about something like that?” cal records, a second the book
“Mars isn’t Shoggo,” Hara Hara had mentioned, slim and
said patiently, “and anyway, bronze-bound, with the title
maybe I would. Depends. Did printed in luminous letters:
you read your orientation book?”
“Huh?”' Your Guide to the 26th Century
“The book of information (1970-1990 Edition)
about the year 2527. You got it
when you were discharged here.” A third was what seemed to

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 27

 ;

be a legal paper of some kind. lie slip with the same angular
At least, it was backed with a printing on it, but which Forres-
sheet of blue material that
stiff ter recognized as a check.
gave it the look of a subpoena. He fingered it lovingly and
Forrester remembered that the puzzled out the amount.
doctor who had patched him up It was made out to him, and
had spoken of trouble. This look- it was for $231,057.56.
ed like being the trouble, al- Forrester attempted to fold it
though the words were either un- — it sprang back like spring
familiar in context or totally steel — and put it away flat in
meaningless his pocket. It felt good there.
He was faintly puzzled by the
You, Charles Dalgleish For- fact that it was some twenty
rester, uncommitted, undeclared,
thousand dollars less than he had
elapsed thirty-seven years, un-
expected. But in terms of per-
employed-pending, take greeting
centage the amount didn’t seem
and are directed. Requirement;
very significant, and he was
To be present at Congruency
Hearing, hours 1075, days 15, cheerfully reconciled to the opin-
months 9 — ion that this society, like all so-
cieties, would do doubt have
It had the authentic feel of some sort of taxes. Twenty grand
legalese, he saw with dismay. was, after all, an amount he
Much of the face of the single could well afford as a sort of
sheet of paper the blue material initiation fee.
enclosed was covered with a sort Feeling much more he secure,
of angular, almost readable let- emerged into the sunlight and
tering —
something like the ma- looked about him.
chine script they used to put on It was late afternoon. The sun
checks, Forrester thought, and was to his right. Slate-blue water
realized that that was no doubt stretched to his left. He was
what it was. looking southward over the great
But it had a date on it, and as pinnacled mass of the city.
that date appeared to be a week Aircraft moved above it.

or more away, as near as For- Things crawled ih its valleys. The

rester could figure, he tabled it sun picked out reflections from
with some relief and turned to glass and metal and, although it
the next and last item in the was still daylight, the city was
folder. already exuding a building glow
This was a financial statement. of neon and fluorescence.
Attached to it was a crisp metal- There were at least ten mil-
28 GALAXY
lion persons in Shoggo, Forrester
knew. There were theaters and
card parties and homes, places
where he might find a friend or
a lover. Or even an enemy. Down
there was the girl who had kissed
him last night Tip — and the
Martian and his gang, who had
tried to kill him.
But where?
Forrester did not now virhere
to begin.
Alive, healthy, with almost a
quarter of a million dollars in his
pocket, he felt out of things.
Standing on a planet with a pop-
ulation of seventeen billion ac-
tive human beings, and at least
twice that number dreaming in
the slow cold of the helium
baths, he felt entirely alone.
rom his belt the voice of the
F“Man joymaker spoke up:
Forrester. Will you take
your messages?”
“Yes,” said Forrester, discon-
certed. “No. Wait a minute.”
He took the last cigarette out
of the pack he had got that morn-
ing, lit it, crumpled the pack
and threw it away. He thought.
Owning a joymaker was a little
like having a genie with three
wishes. The thing’s promptness
and precision disconcerted him;
he felt that it demanded equal
certitude from himself and did
not feel up to it.
He grinned to himself ruefully,
THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT
admitting that he was being mack
self-conscious by what he knew
really to be nothing but a radio
connection with some distant
lash-up of cold-state transistors
and ferrite cores. He said finally;
“Look. You. I think what I
ought to do is go back to my
room and start over again from
home base. What’s the best way
to get there?”
“Man Forrester,” said the joy-
maker, “the best way to get to
the room you occupied is by cab,
which I can summon for you.
However, the room is no longer
yours. Will you accept your mes-
sages?”
“No. Wait a minute! What do
you mean, no longer mine? I
didn’t check out.”
But he paused and thought,
and on consideration that didn’t
seem to matter much. He had
left nothing there. No bag, no
baggage. No personal possessions,
not even a shaving brush he—
wouldn’t have to shave for a week
or two anyway, Hara had told
him.
All that he had put of himself
into that room was the garments
he had worn last night. And
those, he remembered, were dis-
posable . and had therefore no
. .
doubt been disposed of.
“What about the bill?” he ask-
ed.
“The charge was paid by the
West Annex Discharge Center.
29
 ” ” ”

it entered on your financial

is The metal thing, apparently
statement, Man Forrester. Your espying Forrester’s discarded
messages include one urgent, two cigarette pack, scuttled over to
personal, one notice of legal, it and gobbled it down. Forres-

seven commercial — ter watched it for a second, then

“I don’t want to hear right nodded.
now. Wait a minute.” “You’ve got some idea, ma-
Once again Forrester tried to chine,” he said. “Take me to a
frame the right question. tea shop!”
He abandoned the effort.
Whatever his skills, he was not IV
a computer programmer and it
was no good trying to talk like 'T^he joymaker procured a cab
one. It seemed absurd to ask a for Forrester — a wingless
machine for value judgments, vehicle like the death-reversal
but — equipment that had brought him
“Gripes,” he said, “tell me in for repair, but orange and
something. What would you do, black instead of white; it looked
right now, if you were me?” like Hallowe’en. And the cab took
The joymaker answered with- him to the joy maker’s recommen-
out hesitation, as though that dation for a tea shop.
sort of question were coming up The shop was curious. It was
every day. “If I were you, Man located in an interior hall of a
Forrester, which is to say if I great, spidery building in the
were human, just unfrozen, with- heart of the city. The cab flew
out accommodations, lacking ma- in under a pierced-steel buttress,
jor social contacts, unemployed, actually into a sort of vaulted
unskilled — opening at least fifty feet above
“That’s the picture, all right,” ground.
Forrester agreed. “So answer the It halted and hovered be-
question.” Something was crawl- fore a baleony planted with
ing underfoot. He stepped aside, elimbing roses, and Forrester had
out of its way, a glittering metal to step over a knife-edge of emp-
thing. ty space. The cab did not quiver,
would go to a tea shop, Man
“I not even when his weight left
Forrester. I would then read my it.

orientation book while enjoying A girl with hair like transparent

a light meal. I would then think cellophane greeted him. “I have
things over. I would then — your reservation, Man Forres-
“That’s far enough.” ter. Will you follow me, please?”

30 GALAXY
 He did, walking behind her
across a quartz-pebbled court
and into the hall that w/as the
tea room, admiring the swing of
her hips and wondering just what
it was that she did to her hair
to make it stand out like a sculp-
tured puffball and rob it of opaci-
ty-
— Managing Your Money
• — Laws, Customs, Folkways
It was edge-indexed with help-
ful headings: Making Friends;
Living on a Budget; How to Get
the Most Out of Your Toymaker;
Job Opportunities; Where to Get
Needed Training it went on
. .

She seated him beside a reflect- and on. Forrester, flipping

ing pool, with silvery fish swim- through the pages, was aston-
ming slowly about. Even with ished to find how many of them
the peculiar hairdo, she was a there were.
pretty girl. She had dimples and He had a good week’s rea.iing
dark, amused eyes. here, estimated. Obviously
he
He said, “i don’t know what the thing to do was for liim
first
I want, actually. Anyway, who to decide what was the first thing
do I order from?” to do.
“We are all the same, Man Making friends could wait a
Forrester,” she said. “May I bit. He seemed already to have
choose for you? Some tea and made more friends —
and ene-
cakes?” mies! — than he could assimilate.
Numbly he nodded turned and
Living on a budget? He smiled
as she turned and left watched
to himself and patted the pocket
the sway of her hips with an-
that held his check.
tirely different kind of interest.
He sighed. This was a confus- How to get the most out of your
joymaker, though. That was a
ing world!
good place to start, thought For-
rester, opened the book to the
TTe took the book out of the
^ right page and began to read.
folder he had been given
at the West Annex Discharge
Center and placed it on the The remote-access computer
transponder called the “joymak-
table. Its cover was simple and
er” is your most valuable single
direct:
possession in your new life. If
you can imagine a combination
Your Guide to the 26th Century of telephone, credit card, alarm
(1907-1990 Edition) clock, pocket bar, reference li-
— Where to Go brary .and full-time secretary,
— How to Live you will have sketched some of
THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 31

the functions provided by your
joymaker.
Essentially a transponder
it is
connecting you with the central
computing facilities of the city
in which you reside on a shared-
time self-programming basis.
“Shared-time” means that many
other joymakers use the same
central computer —
in Shoggo,
something like ten million of
them. If you go to another city
your joymaker will continue to
serve you, but it must be reset
to a new frequency and pulse-
code. This will be done auto-
matically when you travel by
public transportation. However,
if you use private means, or if
for any reason you spend any
time in the agricultural areas,
you must notify the joymaker of
your intentions. It will Inform
you of any steps you must take.
“Self-programming” means
that the programmed software
includes — includes procedures for trans-
The self-programming, shared-
time girl with the dark, grave
eyes brought Forrester his tea
and cakes. “Thank you,” he said,
staring at her. He was not
still
quite sure of his deductions about
her. He tried an experiment.
“Can you give me my messages?”
he asked.
“Certainly, Man Forrester,
you wish,” she promptly.
said
“Alfred Guysman wishes to see
you on political business. Rever-
end Sam Tshumu wishes to see
32
”
you on religious bus’iriess, but is
at present not available and will
contact you later. Adne Bensen
asks you to return her mes.sage
of thismorning. The Nineteenth
Chromatic Trust informs you
that arrangements have been
made for you to establish bank-
ing facilities with them —
“That’s enough,” he said, tnur-
velling at how nicely a shared-
time transponder could be pack-
aged. “I’ll take the rest later.”
There was no sugar for the
tea, but it was physically hot and
chemically cool at the same time
— rather like a mentholated cig-
arette, except that there was no
particular taste associated with
it. Forrester returned to his book.
“Self-programming” means
that the programmed software
lating most normal variations of
voice, idiom, accent and other
,
variable modalities into a com-
puter-oriented simscripl and
thence to the mathematical ex-
pressions on which the comput-
ers operate. As long as your
personal joymaker is within re-
ception range of your voice you
may communicate via other
shared-time transponders if you
wish. Appropriate modulation
if
will be established automatically.
However, do not attempt to use
another individual’s joymaker
when yours is not within range.
Proper coding cannot be tissur-
GALAXY
 ” ”

ed. In the event that your joy- idual, Man were

Forrester. You
maker is lost or damaged — beaten up by four persons in
the one recorded incident of at-
Forrester sighed and ate one tack. Their names were Shloino
of the cakes. It was rich with Cassavetes, Heinzlichen Jura de
flavors like butter and cinna- Syrtis Major, Edwardino —
mon and others he could not “That one. Heinzlichen Jura
but strange.
identify. Pleasant de Syrtis Major. Or, for that
Very much like this world that matter, all of them — why did
had been given him. they rumble me?”
have a priority message re-
“I
ttAyTan Forrester,” said the garding Heinzlichen Jura de Syr-
joymaker at his belt, its tis iviajOi', Man Forrester. Per-
tones muffled by his coat and haps it will be informative. May
the tablecloth, “it is necessary 1 give it to you?”
for you to accept some messages. “Oh, hell. Why not?”
I have a notice of personal visit “Heinzlichen Jura de Syrtis
and — Major is protesting enforcement
Forrester said, “Look, I’m do- of guaranties and has enjoyed
ing what you said, right? I’m disbursements under his bond.
reading my book. Let me figure You are notified, Man Forrest-
it out a little before you throw er.”
messages at me. Unless,” he said Forrester said “That’s
hotly,
as an afterthought, “there’s what you call informative? Look,
something that’s life-and-death.” skip the damned messages and
“There are no messages involv- answer the question. What was
ing life or death, Man Forrester.” that scene all about?”
“Then wait a while.” He was “You have asked three ques-
aware — he didn’t know how tions, Man Forrester. May I offer
long it had been going on — a synoptic reply?”
that a distant wind instrument “Please do, old friend.”
was hooting faintly. Pleasant but “Heinzlichen Jura de Syrtis
strange. Spiced cool breezes blew Major, a guest in the rep-rooms
from the paneled wall^, also utilized by Alin Hara, conceived
pleasant but strange. a grievance against you, cause
He said hesitantly, “Joymaker, unstated. Calling into association
answer me a question. did Why Shlomo Cassavetes, Edwardino
what’s-his-name, Heinzie, beat Wry and Edwardeto Wry, they;
me up?” formed an ad hoc club and filed
“I cannot identify the indiv- appropriate conformance in re-

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 33

 gard to bonds and guaranties. this information to the joymak-
The intention was stated as mur- er it will be remembered and
der, first phase, ad lib. The mo- you can then refer to the per-
tivation was stated as grievance son in later calls by a reciprocal

as to de Syrtis Major, practical name or any other personal iden-

joke as to the others. Conform- programmed into your

tification
joymaker. If you have been
ances were recorded and the sub-
called by any person, the joy-
ject, that is, yourself, Man For-
maker will have recorded the
rester, was notified. Does that necessary ortho-name and iden-
answer your three questions, Man tification spectrum. Simply ask
Forrester?’’ the joymaker to call the person
“What do you think?” Forres- you wish to speak to. If you
ter snapped. “Well, maybe it wish to establish a priority rat-
ing with any person, that person
does. Sort of. You mean those
must so inform his joymaker.
other three finks lumped me for
Otherwise your calls may be de-
a joke?”
ferred or canceled as directed
“They so stated, yes, Man For- by the called person.
rester.” To use your joymaker as cred-
“And they’re still running it card: You must know the
around loose?” institutional designation and ac-
“Do you wish me to ascertain count spectrum —
their present whereabouts, Man
Forrester?” A belated thought percolated
“No, I mean, aren’t they in jail to the surface of Forres-
or something?” mind. Messages. Financial
ter’s
“No, Man Forrester.” One of the messages
institutions.
Forrester said, “Joymaker, had been from something that
leave me alone for a while. I bet- sounded like that.
ter get back to my orientation He sighed and looked around
book. I see I don’t know as much the room. Most of the tables were
as I thought I did.” empty. But it was a targe room,
Forrester drank the rest of his and there were perhaps fifty oth-
tea, ate the rest of his cakes and er persons in it, all of them seat-
plowed back into his book. ed at tables in twos and threes
and larger groups. Through some
To use your joymaker as effect of the sound-conditioning
telephone: You must know the he could not hear their voices,
ortho-name and identification only the distant hooting flute nnd
spectrum of the person you wish a faint splashing from tl^c (p.int
to reach. Once you have given fish in the reflecting pools.

34 GALAXY
 ”

He wondered if any of these curiosities as and

the B.P.O.E.
fiftypeople would mind if he got the Industrial Workers of the
up and walked over to them. World (Memorial Association) in
Touching the faintly sore spots small type at the end of the sec-
on his shoulders and neck, he de- tion.
cided against it. Puzzling. If it existed at all,

But gave him an idea, and he

it should it not have a member-

turned to the section of the book ship in the billions?

on “Making Friends”. Evidently, it did not, but . . .

“I have an urgent notice of per- “Man Forrester,” shrilled the

sonal visit, Man Forrester,”
grumbled the joymaker from
waist.
“Just save it,” said Forrester,
preoccupied. He was startled at
the length of the list of ways of
making friends. Above all, there
were clubs. Clubs in such pro-
fusion that he wondered even
seventeen billion people
fill their rolls. Social clubs,
nastic clubs, professional clubs.
Political groups, religious groups,
therapeutic groups. There was a
Society of First Families of Mars,
and a Loyal Order of Descen-
dants of Barsoom Fans. There
were forty-eight bird-watching
groups in Shoggo alone. There
were stamp-collectors and coin-
collectors and tax-token collec-
tors and jet-car transfer collec-
tors.
There was something called
the Society of Ancients which
looked interesting, as it appeared
to be an organization of persons
like Forrester himself, revived
from the dead heart of the freez-
ers. Yet it was listed with such
joymaker, “I must inform you of
his personal visitation by —
“Wait a minute,” said Forres-
ter, suddenly looking up, startl-
ed.
There was a hint of perfume
in the air.
Forrester put down his book,
frowning.
could The scent was familiar. What
gym- was it? Another tactile-tape mes-
sage from this Adne Bensen, who-
ever she might be?
He felt a touch on his shoulder,
then warm arms around him, a
hug.
These tactile tapes were cer-
tainly convincing, he thought
momentarily, then realized this
was not atape. He was not mere-
ly feeling and smelling the pres-
ence of the embracing arms. He
saw them, from the corner of his
eye, and awkwardly, like a wrest-
ler struggling to break a hold,
he turned inside them.
He saw the face of the girl
from the party, very near to his.
“Tip!” he cried. “My God but
I’m glad to see you!”

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 35

TT^hen you came right down to She said, “Oh, I think not. I
Forrester hardly knew
it, mean, not here, anyway. I came
the barring a little friendly
girl, to see if you’d like to come to

kissing at a party, but at this my place for dinner.”

moment she was very dear to
him. It was like a chance meet-
ing in Taiwan with somebody
who sat at the far end of the
commuter train for years. Not a
friend. Hardly even an acquain-
tance; but promoted by the acci-
dent of unexpected meeting to
the status of near and dear. He
hugged her tight. She laughed
breathlessly and shook free.
“Dear Charles,” she gasped,
“not so hard.”
“I’m sorry.” He seated her and
sank down opposite, admiring her
dark hair and pale skin, her
cheerful, pretty face and her fig-
ure. The others in the tea room,
some of whom had turned to
look at them, were losing inter-
est and returning to their own
affairs. Forrester said, “It’s just
that I’m so glad to see you. Tip,”
"Yes!”
She laughed, “You are such
an impetuous man, Charles. Is
that why they call you the kami-
kaze people? I mean, your cen-
tury and all.”
“As to that, Adne, I don’t
know,” he said, “because, when
you come right down to it, I
don’t know who calls me what.
I am, you might say, confused.
One of the many reasons why
I am
pleased to see you is that
I need somebody to talk to.”
She settled in a chair opposite
him and took some tea, after all.
It came without being asked for;
apparently the joymaker had
monitored their conversation and
drawn the inferences any good
waiter would draw. She threw
back her filmy, puffy wrap —
it had floated around her shoul-

She looked startled, then faint- ders like a cloud, but it lay back
ly reproving. “My name is Adne against the chair quite incon-
Bensen, dear Charles. Call me spicuously, Forrester noticed —
Adne.” and revealed a deep-cut, tight-
“But last night Hara called fitting, flesh-colored vest or jer-
you —oh!” he said, remember- kin of some sort that was start-
ing. “Then you’re the girl who ling at first.
has been sending me the mes- At second look it was still

sages.” startling.
She nodded! She said, “Dear Charles. Don’t
“Very nice messages they you ask your joymaker tilings!’”
were,” he said. “Would you like “I would except I don’t know
some tea?” what to ask.”
36 GALAXY
 *‘Oh, anything! What do you “Where are you going?” For-
want? Have you filed a profile?” rester asked, rising with her.
“I don’t think so.” “To the shelter, of course!
“Oh, do! Then it will tell you Hurry it up, Charles, will you?
what programs are on, what par- I hate it when I’m out in a public
ties you will be welcomed at, place in one of these things.”
who you would wish to know. “-NINETY-ONE. NINETY.
It’s terrible go on impulse,
to EIGHTY-NINE—”
Charles,” she said earnestly. “Let He said, swallowing hard; “Air
the joymaker help you.” raid? A war?”
He discovered that his own tea She had his hand, tugging him
cup had been replenished, and along toward an exit at the rear
sipped it. “I don’t understand,” of the tea room, where the other
he said. “You mean I should let patrons were already beginning
the joymaker decide what I’m to stream out. “Not exactly,
going to do for fun?” Charles dear. Don’t you know
“Of course. There’s so much. anything?”
How could you know what you “Then what?”
would like?” “Aliens. Monsters. That’s all.

He shook his head. . . . Now hurry, or we’ll never get a

But that was all of that con- seat.”
versation, all for then. His joy-
maker said suddenly, its voice V
curiously tinny, “PRIORITY
URGENT! THIS IS A DRILL!
TAKE COVER! TAKE COVER! A walk, an elevator ride, a short
stretch through a light-walled
TAKE COVER!!” corridor, and they came out into
“Oh, dear,” said Adne, pouting. a great shadowy auditorium.
“Well let’s go.” There was just enough light to
“TAKE COVER!” blared the find their way to seats. It was
joymaker again, and Forrester filling rapidly, and behind them
discovered the reason for its Forrester heard heavy doors
metallic sound. Not only his but slamming.
the girl’s, those of patrons at When about three-quarters of
other tables, all the joymakers at the seats were filled a man in
once were repeating the same black climbed onto the stage and
message. “TAKE COVER! said, “Thank you all for your co-
COUNTDOWN STARTS NOW! operation. I’m pleased to be able
ONE HUNDRED SECONDS. to tell you that this building has
NINETY-NINE . .
.”
achieved four-nines compliance

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 37

in exactly one hundred and forty- n the life that had begun with
one seconds. I his birth in 1932 and ended
There was a stir of interest with the inhalation of a lungful
from the audience. Forrester, of flame thirty-seven years later,
craning his neck to find the source Forrester had been a successful,
of the P.A. system —
it seemed self-sufficient and substantial
to murmur from all over the hall man.
—located it at last as the man He had a wife — her name
spoke again. It was his joymaker, was Dorothy, small, blonde, a
and all the joymakers, repeating littleyounger than himself. He
what the man said. had three sons, and a job as copy
“This is one of the best show- chief of a technical writing ser-
ings we’ve ever had,” he said vice, and a reputation among his
warmly, “and I appreciate it. friends as a fine poker player
You may leave.” and useful companion.
“You mean that’s all there is Although he had missed par-
to it?” Forrester asked the girl. ticipation in a war, he was a Boy
“That’s all. Are you coming Scout in World War II, partici-
up to my place?” pating in scrap-metal drives and
He persisted, “But — if there’s Slap the Jap waste fat collections.
going to be a raid, or any chance As a young adult he had lived
of one, shouldn’t we wait and through the H-bomb hysteria of
see — the early fifties, when every city
“See what, Charles dear? street blossomed out with signs
There’s no need to grovel in the directing the nearest way to a
ground like moles. It’s just a bomb shelter. He had seen enough
test.” movies and television shows to
“Yes, but —
” He hesitated, know what air raid drills meant.
and followed her out of the He was not very satisfied with
auditorium thoughtfully. the one he had seen. He tried to
was confusing. No one had
It phrase his dissatisfaction to Adne
mentioned wat to him. as she changed clothes behind a
But when he said as much to screen, but she was not very in-
Adne, she laughed. “VFar? Oh, terested. Drills were an annoy-
Charles! You’re so funny, you ance to her, it was clear.
kamikazes! Now we’ve wasted She came out from behind
enough time —
are you coming the screen, wearing something
to my place for dinner or not?” filmy and pale, and not at all
He sighed. practical for cooking dinner. On
“Oh, sure,” he said. tlie other hand, Forrester thought.

38 GALAX'V
who knew how these people out clothes, small packets which
cooked their dinners? She rustled might have been cosmetics, some
over to him, lifted his hand, things like appliances.
kissed his fingers and sat down “Oh, no, Charles dear. It’s my
beside him, pulling her joy- job.” She was preoccupied with
maker from the place by the arm a billowy green thing, strok-
soft,
of the chair where she had left ing it against her cheek thought-
it: “Excuse me, Charles dear,” fully. With a twist of her arms
she said, and, to the joymaker; she threw it around her shoulders
“Receiving messages.” and it became a sort of Eliza-
Forrester could not hear what bethan ruff. “Like it, dear?”
the joymaker said to her because “Sure. I mean, I guess I do.”
she was holding it close to her “It’s soft. Feel.” She drew it
ear and had evidently somehow over his face. It felt like fur,
turn^'d the volume down ^which — though its points thrust out again
he resolved to learn how to do. immediately they left his skin,
But he heard what she said to it, looking starched and throny. “Or
though it was largely incompre- this,” she said, taking it off and
hensible: “Cancel. Hold Three. replacing it with what looked
Comissary four, two as pro- liked oiled silk in the box it came
grammed, two A-varied.” And, in, but on her shoulders dis-
“That takes care of that,” she appeared entirely, except that it
said to him. “Would you like a gave luster and color to her skin.
drink?” “Or—”
“All right.” She lifted glasses “They’re all beautiful,” he said.
out of the well of the —Forrester “What do you mean, it’s your
would have called it a cocktail job?”
table, and perhaps it was. He
noticed her eyes were on a stack t tT’m a reacter,” she said proud-
of parcels on a low table across A ly. “Weighted nearly 50 mil-
the room. “Excuse me,” she said, lion, with two-nines reliability.”
pouring a minty liquid for him “Which means?”
and one for herself. “I just have “Oh, you know. If I like things,
to look at these things.” She took chances are ninety-nine out of a
a small sip of her drink and hundred that the others will too.”
crossed to the packages. “Fifty million of them?”
Forrester decided he liked his She nodded, flushed and
drink, which was not sweet and pleased.
made “Been shop-
his nose tingle. “And this is how you make a
ping?” he asked. Adne was taking living?”

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 39

 "It’s how I get rich,” she cor- smoke got me. Or the combi-
rected him. “Say!” She looked at —
nation did smoke and heat. And
him thoughtfully, “I wonder . . maybe booze, because I’d just
Do you have any idea how many come from a party. Hara said 1
others like you have come out must have inhaled pure flame
of the dormers? Maybe you could because my lungs were burnt.
get a job doing the same thing My face must have been, too, of
I could ask.” course. ! mean, you wouldn’t
He patted her hand, indulgent know, but I don’t think I look

and amused. “No. thanks,” he quite the same as I used to. A

said, carefully not to mention the little leaner now, and maybe a
fact that he was rich —
although, little younger. And I don’t think
he remembered dimly, he had my eyes were quite as bright
been far less reticent about it blue.”
at theparty the night before. She giggled. “Hara can’t help
Well, he had made a lot of mis- editing.Most people don’t mind
takes at the party —
as witness a tvw improvements.”
his troubles with the Martian. Dinner had arrived as his
“I never asked,” said Adne, breakfast had that morning,
putting the things away. “How through a servadoor in the wall.
did you die, Charles?” Adne excused herself for a mo-
“Why,” he said, sitting down ment while the table was setting
again and waiting for her to join up.
him, “I died in a fire. As a matter She was gone more than a
of fact, I understand I was a moment and came back looking
hero.” amused. “That’s that,” she said
“Really!” She was impressed. without explaining. “Let’s eat.”
“I was a volunteer fireman,
you know, and there was an /^f the foods served him For-
apartment fire one night it was — rester was able to identify
January, witchy cold, if you stood little or nothing. The textures
still in the spill water you’d were .sort of Oriental, with crisp
freeze to the ground in two things like water chestnuts and
minutes —
and there was a child gummy things like sukiyaki vary-
in the upper part of the building. ing the crunch of lettuce and the
And I was the nearest one to the plasticity of starches. The flavors
ladder.” were queer but palatable.
He sipped his drink, admiring “You must have been one of
its milky, golden color. “I forgot the first to be frozen,” she com-
my Air-Pak,” he admitted. “The mented. “1969? That’s only a few

40 GALAXY
years after the freezing began.” would let her marry again
“First on the book,” he agreed. hope she did ... I mean ” He— . .

“It was because of the fire com-
pany, I guess. I know they had
the new death - reversal truck
standing by for several months,
waiting for a victim. I didn’t think
I’d be the one to christen it.
broke off, wondering what he did
mean.
“Anyway,” he said “Kara had
some records. She lived nearly
fifty more years, died in her
eighties of the third massive
.

stroke. She’d been partly para-

He ate a forkful of something
lyzed for some time.” He shook
like creamed onions in a pastry
his head, trying to visualize small,
crust and said, “It must have
blonde Dorothy as a bedridden,
been confusing for Dorothy.”
beldame.
“Your wife?”
“Had enough?” asked Adne.
He nodded. “I wonder if there’s
He came back to present time,
any way I can find out about her.
faintly startled. “Dinner? Why,
What she did. How the children
I guess so. It was delicous.” She
made out. She was young when
I was killed — let’s see. Thirty- did something that caused the
three, about. I don’t know if table to retract itself and stood
having a husband dead but frozen up. “Come over here and have

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 41

your coffee. I ordered it specially sorry,but I don’t know much
for you. Would you like some about kamikaze ways. If there’s
music?” a ritual tabu. I’m sorry.”
He started to say, “Not par- “No tabu. Just a mi,sunder-
ticularly,” but she had already standing.” He picked up his glass
started some with visions of Bar- and held it to her. “Any more of
tok and music-concrete. But it this stuff around?”
turned out to be something very “Charles dear,” she said,
like violins, playing something stretching, “there’s all you want.
very like detached, introspective And 1 have an idea.”
T schaikowsky “Shoot.”
She sank back against him, and “I’m going to find you a place
she was very warm and fragrant. to live!” she cried. “You ju.st
“We’ll have to find you a place stay here. Order what you want.”
to live,” she said. She touched something that he
Heput his arm around her. could not see and added, “If you
“This is a condominum build- don’t know how, the children will
ing,” she said thoughtfully, “but show you while they’re keejjing
I think there might be something. you company.”
Do you have any preferences?” What had seemed like a floor-
“I don’t know enough to have length mural opened itself into
preferences,” he said, caressing a door. Forrester found himself
her soft hair. “In a place to live, looking into a bright gay room
anyway.” where two small children were
She said drowsily, “That’s racing each other around a sort
And in the same
nice.” tone, a of climbable maze.
moment later, “But I think I “We ate our dinner, Mim,”
should warn you I’m natural- cried one of them, then saw For-
flow And this is about M-day rester and nudged the other. The
minus four, so all I want is to be two looked at him with calm
cuddled.” She yawned and appraisal.
touched her mouth with her “You don’t mind this either,
hand. ‘Oh! Excuse me.” do you, Charles dear?” Adne
Then she caught a glimpse of asked. “That’s another thing
his face. “You don’t mind, do about being natural-flow.”
you?” she asked sitting up. “I
—
mean,
Charles,
could take a pill
i

why are you that color?” T here were two of them, a boy
and a girl, about seven and
“Nothing, Nothing at all!” five. Forrester guessed. They ac-
She said apologetically, “I’m cepted him without question. . . .

42 GALAXY
 ” ”

Or not exactly that, thou^t said boy seriously. “You

the
Forreater ruefully. There were could have died. I heard Mim
questions. talking to the medoc.”
“Charles! Did people really Forrester said, “Are you chil-
smell bad in the old days?” dren in school?”
“Oh, Charles! You rode in They looked at him, then at

automobiles?” each other.

“When the little children had “I mean, are you old enough
to work in the coal mines, to start lessons?”
Charles, didn’t they get anything The boy said, “Well, sure,
to eat?" Charles. Tunt ought to be doing
“But what did they play with, hers right now, as a matter of
Charles? Dolls that didn’t talk?” fact.”
He tried his best to answer. “So should you! Mim said —
“Well, the child-labor time was “We have to be polite to guests.
over when I lived, or almost. And Tunt!” The boy said to Charles,
dolls did talk, sort of. Not very “Is there anything we can get
”
intelligently . . . . you? Something to eat? Drink?
“When did you live, Charles?” Watch a program? Sex - stini?
“I was burned to death in Although I guess you ought to
1969 —” know,” he said apologetically,
The little girl shrieked, “For “that Mim’s natural-flow and
—
witchcraft?” “Yes, yes, I know about that,”
“Oh, no. No, that was hundreds Forrester said hastily, and
of years earlier too.” Charles thought. Sweet God!
tried not to laugh. “You see, But being in Rome, he thought,
houses used to catch on fire those was what the Romans did that
days — it

counted, and he would do his

“The Shoggo fire!” shouted the best. He
resolved it earnestly.
boy. “Mrs. Leary’s cow and the It was
like being at a party.
earthquake!” You gotthere at ten o’clock,
“Well —
something like that. with your collar too tight and a
Anyway, there were men whose little grouchy at being rushed and
job it was to put the fires out, your starched shirt-front wet
and I was one of them. Only then where the kids splashed it when
I got caught and died there.” you supervised their bedtime
“Mim drowned once,” the little tooth-brushing. And your host
girl bragged. ‘“We haven’t died was old Sam who’d been such a
at all.” drag, and his wife Myra was in
“You were sick once, though,” one of her nouveau-riche moods.
THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 43
showing off the new dishmaker,
and the conversation started out
about politics, which was Sam’s
most offensive side. . .
But then you had the second
drink: And then the third. Faces
grew brighter. You began to feel
more at ease. The whole bunch
laughed at one of your jokes. The
music on the stack of records
changed to something you could
dance to. You began to catch
the rhythm of the party . .
Oh, I’ll try vowed Forrester,
joining the children in a sort of
board game played against their
own joymakers. I’ll catch the
mood of this age if it kills me.
Again.
VI
Y Tp betimes, and set out to con-
quer a world.
The home that Adne found for
—
him was fascinating walls that
made he needed them,
closets as
windov/s that were not windows
but something like television
screens — Forrester resolutely
spent no time exploring its mar-
vels. After a disturbed night’s
sleep he was up and out, testing
his new world and learning to
cope with it. The children were
marvelous. He begged the loan
of them from Adne and they
were his guides. They took him
to the offices of the Nineteenth
Chromatic Trust where a portly
44
old Ebent'zes Scsouge gravely ex-
amined Forrester’s check, pains-
takingly showed him how to draw
against it, severely supervised his
signing the necessary documents
to open an account, and only at
the end revealed himself by say-
in, “Man Forrester, good day.”
They took him to a Titanian
restaurant for lunch, a lark for
them, a shattering test of nerve
to him, for the Titanians ate
. only live food and he was barely
able to cope with an aspic that
writhed and rustled on his spoon.
They showed him their play-
school, where for three hours a
week they competed and jdotted
with their peers (their lessons
were learned at home, via their
child-modified joymakers), and
Forrester found himself playing
London Bridge is Falling Down
with fourteen children and one
other adult, symbolically acting
out the ritual murder and en-
tombment in the bridge’s foun-
dations that the nursery rhyme
celebrated. They took him to
where the poor people lived,
with half-fearful giggles and in-
junctions against speaking to any-
one, and Forrester found himself
out of pocket change, having
given it all away to pale, mum-
bling creatures with hard-luck
stories about Sol-burn on Mer-
cury and freezer insurance firms
that had gone bankrupt. They
took him to a park —indoors.
GALAXY
underground —where the land- “I believe you,” said Forres-
scaping was topologically grotes- ter.
que and a purling stream flowed “Then this way, Charles.
through a hill’s base and up the Come on, Tunt.” And the boy led
other side, and ducks and frogs off between two towering build-
and a feathery sort of Venusian ings, on the margin of a grassy
fish ate morsels of food the chil- strip where huge hovercraft
dren tossed them. They took him swished by at enormous speeds.
to a museum where animated, The joymaker complained,
enlarged cells underwent mitosis “Man Forrester, I have dicho-
with a plop like a cow lifting tomous instructions. Please re-
her foot from a bog, and a recre- solve them.”
ated Tyrannosaurus Rex coughed “Oh, God,” said Forrester,
and barked and thumped its feet tired and irritable, “what’s your
dangerously, its orange eyes trouble now?”
glaring straight at Forrester. “You have instructed me to
They showed him all their trea- hold messages, butI have several

sures and pleasures. But they which are high-priority and ur-
did not show him a factory, or gent. Please reaffirm holding or-
an office building, or a store of der, stipulating a time limit if
any size. For it did not seem that possible, or receive them now.”
any of these existed any more. The boy giggled. “You know
They showed him all of Shoggo why, demanded.
Charles?” he
until their joymakers chided “It tickles them. youIt’s like if

them, and Forrester’s own said have to go to the bathroom.”

severely: “Man Forrester! The The joymaker said, “The an-
children must be returned for alog is inexact, Man Forrester.
their naps. And you really must However, please allow me to dis-
receive your messages.” charge my message load.”
The children looked at him Forrester sighed and prepared
with woe. “Ah, well,” said For- to contemplate reality again.
rester, “we’ll do it again another But something distracted him.
day. How do we get home from Besides
the steady whush,
here?” whush of the passing hovercraft,
“A cab,” said the girl doubt- besides the distant chant of a
fully, but the boy shouted: choir —
they were passing some
“Walk! We can walk! I know sort of church —
there was an-
where we are. Ten minutes will other sound. Forrester looked up.
do it. Ask your joymakers, if you A faint tweeting sound of
don’t believe me.” communications equipment was
THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 45
coming from a white aircraa't, “Not if I can help it. Looh.
glass-fronted, hanging overhead. Do you know any short-cuts
It bore the shining ruby cadu- from here? Any secret ways —
ceus, and a dark-skinned man in through cellars, over rooftops,
blue was regarding Forrester you know.”
gravely. The boy looked at the girl.
Forrester swallowed. The girl’s eyes got very big.
“Joymaker,” he demanded, “is “Tunt,” she whispered. “Char-
that a death-reversal vehicle les wants to hide.”
overhead?” “That’s it,” said Forre,ster.
“Yes, Man Forrester.” “What about it, son? You must
“Does that mean — ” He know some special way. Any kid
cleared his throat. “Does that would.”
mean that crazy Martian is after The boy said, “Charles. I know
me again?” a way, all right. But are you
“Man Forrester,” said the joy- sure —
maker primly, “among your ur- “I’m sure. I’m sure!” snapped
gent priority messages is a legal Charles Forrester. “Come on!
notice. The twenty-four hour Where?”
hold period having expired and The boy surrendered. “Follow
appropriate notices and action me. You too, Tunt.”
having been filed and taken, the They turned and dived into
man Heinzlichen Jura de — one of the buildings. Forrester
“Cut it out! Is he after me?” took a last look around for Heinz-
“Man Forrester,” said the joy- lichen whatever-his-name-was.
maker, “yes. As of seventeen min- He was not in sight. Only the
utes ago, the hold period having hovercraft thrumming past, and
expired then, he is.” the few uncaring pedestrians . . .

and overhead the man in blue in

A t least the Martian
crazy the death-reversal vehicle, star-
wasn’t in sight, thought ing down at him, his expression
Forrester, scanning the few visi- both surprised and angry.
ble pedestrians. But the presence
of the death-reversal aircraft was X/^hen he was safely in the con-
a poor omen. dominium building, the chil-
“Kids,” he said, “we got trou- dren returned to their own home
bles. I’m being chased.” to await the arrival of their moth-
“Oh, Charles!” breathed the er, Forrester hurried to his
bojr, fascinated. “Will you get apartment, closed the door and
killed?” locked it.
46 GALAXY
 “Joymaker,” he said, “you “That crazy Martian doesn’t
were right. I admit it. So now waste time, does he? Well, what
let’s have all those messages. about the other stuff? Any of it
And take it slow.” important?”
The joymaker said serenely, “As to that, Man Forrester, f
“Man Forrester, your messages have no parameters.”
follow. The Reverend Sam Tsh- “You’re a big help,” said For-
umu asked you to call him, but rester bitterly. “Get me a drink
he is no longer receiving mes- while I’m thinking. Uh, gin and
sages. Vincenzo d’ Angostura tonic.” He waited for it to ap-
states that he is still available pear and took a long pull.
for legal representation but will His nerves began to feel like
not call again under Bar Associ- tangled barbed-wire. “All right,”
ation rules. Taiko Hironibi feels he said. “Now, what was that
there was some misunderstand- about a package?”
ing and would like to discuss it “You have a document pack-
with you. Adne Bensen sends age in our receiving chute, Man
you an embrace. A document Forrester. Envelope. Approxi-
package is in your receiving mately nine centimeters by 25
chute. Will you receive the em- centimeters, less than one-half
brace?” centimeter in thickness, weighing
"Hold it a minute. Gives me approximately eleven grams. In-
something to look forward to. scription; ‘Mr. Charles Dalgleish
Who’s this Reverend Sam Tsh- Forrester, Social Security Num-
umu?” ber 145-10-3088, last address
“Sam Tshumu: Male, Chris- while living 252 Dulcimer Drive,
tian entelechist, Utopian, five Evanston, Illinois. Died of burns
feet eight inches, proselytizer, received 16 October 1969. To be
business in regard to the assault delivered upon revival.’ Contents
on your person by Heinzlichen unknown.”
Jura de Syrtis Major.” “Hum. Is that all it says?”
“Well. All right. What about “No, Man Forrester. There are
it? What does he have to say?” machinescript handling instruc-
“I am sorry, Man Forrester. tions on the document. I will
That ends the message.” phonemize them as close as pos-
“Can I call him back?” sible;‘Sigma triphase ooty-poot
“No, Man Forrester. Reverend baker tare sugar aleph,
trip toe,
Sam Tshumu is at present in paraphase ”— ’

freeze due to injuries sustained “Yeah, well, that’s enough of

at the same time.” that.I mean, is there anything in

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 47

English? Anything T could under- be another century or more —
stand?” — is that which has to do with

“No, Man Forrester. Faint car- troubles. Not your troubles, of

course. Not any more. Usually
bonization marks are visible
the troubles are mine.
where the envelope has been
Although t must say that real-
creased. There are several minor
ly my life has not been a burden
discolorations which may repre-
to me. I remember that you
sent latent human skinprints. At made me happy, Charles. I must
some time a mild corrosive liquid you that
was spilled — tell

ribly. But I must

I missed you
also tell
ter-
you
“Say, joymaker,” said Forres- that I got over it.

ter, “I’ve got an idea. Why don’t To begin with: You will want
I open it up? Where’d you say it to know what you died of, I
was?” know, and perhaps the people
who bring you back to life will
not be able to tell you. (I am
T3 etrieved from his receiving
assuming that you will be
chute, the envelope turned brought back to life. I didn’t
out to be a letter from his wife. believe it time atbut the —
He stared at it and felt some- since then I’ve seen it happen.)

thing tingling in the corners of You were burned to death in

his eyes. The handwriting was a house fire on Christie Street
very strange to him. The signa- on October 16th, 1969. Dr. Ten
ture was Still with atiection, Eyck, who was with the first
aid squad, pronounced you dead
Dorothy .but the hand that
. .

and. with some difficulty, per-

had formed those letters scrawled
and shook, and had even aban-
doned her little finishing-school
affectations of penmanship, the
open-circle dots over the i’s, the
flowing crosses on the f’s. He
could read it only with difficulty.
suaded them to use their death-
reversal equipment to freeze
you. There was some trouble
about lacking glycerol for per-
fusion, but the whole fire com-
pany, you will be glad to know,
dug into their liquor closets and
came up with several bottles of
bourbon and it was that
. . .

Dear Charles,
which was used as a buffer. (If
This is, I think, the tenth or you woke up with a hangover,
eleventh
time I have written you now know why!)
you. I seem to do it
this letter to There was some question as
every
time there is a death or to whether too much time had
bad news, as though the only elapsed, too. They thought you
gossip I have that is worth the might have spoiled during (he
effort to pass on for what may you see. But as it
discussion,

48 GALAXY
 was cold weather for October Vance is now married, and is

they decided to take a chance, in fact a grandfather. It was his

and you were ultimately con- second marriage; the first was
signed to a freeze-dormer at annulled. His present wife was a
liquid helium temperatures. schoolteacher before their mar-
Where, as 1 write this, you now riage .and they have been
. .

lie . , . and where, or in one happy. And I really can think

like it, I expect to be myself of nothing else to tell you about
before long. your son Vance that does not
I should tell you that I didn’t involve attempting to explain
pay for any of this. Your fire what broke up his first marriage
company turned
insurance, it and why his second wife could
out, was adequate to cover all not stay in the United Slates
I he costs and was in fact ear- 1 suppose you may meet him
marked purpose. If it
for that some dav You can ask h-im
harl been up to me 1 don’t think yourself.
I would have gone to the ex- Billy, you will be astonished
pen.se, Charles, because after all to learn, is now a Great Man.
there were the children to raise. Let me see. He was two wlieii
What can 1 tell you about you died. Now he’s our senator
them? They missed you very from Hawaii, and they say he
much. will be president one day. But
Vance, in particular, played you will find out more about
truant from school for the best him in the history books than
part of a month, forging notes I can tell you, I think. Let me
to his teacher, persuading some only say, what I know will in-
adult —
.suspected our clean-
I terest you, that his first cam-
ing woman at the time — to paign was on a platform of free
phone the principal to explain freezing for everyone, paid for
his absence, before found out
1 out of Social Security funds,
about it. But then he joined a and you were mentioned in
Boy .Scout troop and, as they every speech. He won easily.
say, developed other interests. And I am seventy-nine
, .

David didn’t say much. But I years old.

don’t think he ever got over it. Since you died forty years ago
At least not during his lifetime. I cannot now remember you
He joined the Peace Corps four well enough, my Charles, to
years later and was executed know if you will mind what
by insurgents during the Huk I have to say next. Three years
uprising in 1974. Since his body after your death I remarried.
was mutilated before being My husband my other hus- —
found he could not be frozen. band —
was a doctor. Still is,
So he, at least, we will never though he is out of practice
see again. now. We have been very happy.
THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 49
 ” ” ”

(oj. We
had two other children. “Yes, Man Forrester. Williams,
Both girls. You never met him, Harrison E. Kaapp, Leonard.
but he is a good man, barring Stanchion, Karen P. Forrester,
the tact that at one time he
Wilton N. Tschirky, Leon —
drank too much. He gave it up.
“Well, my God,” said Forres-
He looks a little like you . . .

ter softly, and sat marveling

If I remember correctly, he
does.
while the joymaker droned on to
And I am now in brittle the end of the twenty-first cen-
health and this is the last time tury, and stopped.
I will write you this letter. Per- Little two - year - old Willy.
haps we will meet again. I won- Baby Bill. A senator and
. . .

der what it will be like. president. It was an unsettling

Still with affection, idea.
Dorothy The joymakersaid, “Man For-
rester! Notice of physical visit.
Forrester put down the letter Adne Bensen is to see you, pur-

and cried: “Joymaker! Was pose unstated, time of arrival

there ever a president named less than one minute.”
Forrester?” “Oh,” said Forrester, “good.
“President of what, Man For- Let her right in.” And he re-
rester?” hearsed what he would tell her,
“President of the United but not to any effect. Geneaol-
States!” ogy was not in her mind. She
“Which United States is that, was angry.
Man Forrester?” “You,” she cried, “what the
“Oh, for God’s sakes! The sweat do you think you’re doing
United States of America. Wait to my kids?”
a minute. First off, do you know
the presidents of the United tt'll^hy, nothing. I don’t know
States of America?” what you’re talking
“Yes, Man Forrester. Washing- about.”
ton, George. Adams, John. Jef- “Dog sweat!” The door
ferson, Thomas — crashed closed behind her.
“Later on! starting with the “Twitching kamikaze!” She flung
middle of the 20th century:” her cape against the wall; it
“Yes, Man Forrester. Truman, dropped to a chair and arranged
Harry S. Eisenhower, Dwight D. itself in neat squares. “Pervert
Kennedy — creep, you get a kick out of this,
“Move it up! Start with around don’t you? Want to make my
1990 .” kids like you! Want to change
50 GALAXY
 ” ” ” ”” ”

them hand-
into chatter-toothed feed a sick pup or— character
working dogsweaty cowardly — enough to make him a dog. Go
Forrester guided her to a chair. rot!”
“Honey,” he said, attempting to “Now, wait a minute! We’re
get her a drink, “shut up a min- not married. You can’t talk to
ute.” me like that!” He got up and
“Oh, sweet! Give me that
— stood over her, the glass un-
She quickly produced drinks for heeded in his hand. Now he was
them, without a pause in her getting angry, too. He opened his
talking. “My kids! You want to mouth to speak, gesticulating.
ruin them!” Six ounces of icy, sticky fluid
“Look, I’m sorry, but I didn’t slopped into her face.
mean to get them in a danger- She stared up at him, and be-
ous — gan to laugh.
“Dangerous! Go crawl! I’m not “Oh, Charles!” She put down
talking about danger.” her own glass and tried to wipe
“I didn’t let them get hurt— her face. “You know you’re an
“Sweat!” idiot, don’t you?” But the way
“Well, it isn’t my fault if some she said it was almost affection-
crazy Martian — ate.
“Dog sweat!” She was wearing “I’m sorry,” he said. “Times,
a skintight coverall which seemed let’s see, times three, anyway.
to be made of parallel strands of For spilling the drink on you, for
fabric running top to bottom, getting the kids in trouble, for
held together God knew how; yelling back at you —
with every movement, as she She stood up and kissed him
turned, as her breast rose and swiftly. As she reached up to
fell, tiny slivers of skin showed him the strands of fabric parted
disturbingly. “You’re not even provocatively. She disappeared
a man. What do you know into the protean cubicle of the
about — lavatory.
“I said I was sorry. Listen, I Forrester picked up the rest
don’t know what I did wrong, but of his drink, drank it, drank hers
I’ll make it up to them.” and carefully ordered two more
She sneered. from the dispenser. His brows
“No, I will! I know. There furrowed with thought.
must be something they want. When she came back he said,
I’ve got plenty of money, so — “Honey, one thing. What did you
“Charles, you’re pathetic! You mean when you said I didn’t
haven’t got money enough to have a lot of money?”
THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 51
 he fluffed her hair, looking ab- thought, embarrassed
S
.

stracted. where the devil did you put i?’

He said persistently, “No, I It was a silly joke anyway and
mean it. I mean, I thought you I’m tired of it.”

knew Kara pretty well. He must Numbly he stood up with her,

have told you about me.” numbly found the folder from
“Oh, yes. Of course.” the West Side Discharge Center
“Well, then. I had this insur- and placed it in her hands What
ance thing when I died, see. joke? If there was a joke, he
They banked the money or some- didn’t know what it was.
thing, and it’s had
hundred six She fished out the sheaf of
years to grow. Like John Jones’s glossy sheets in the financial re-
Dollar, if you know what that port, glanced them, beganat
was. I didn’t have much to be- handing them to him. The first
gin with, but by the time they was headed Cryotherapy, Main-
took me out of the cooler it was tenance, Schedule /. It bore a
over a quarter of a million dol- list of charges under headings
lars.” like Annual Rental, Biotesting,
She picked up her new drink, Cell Retrieval and Detoxifica-
hesitated, then took a drink of it. tion, as well as a dozen or more
She said, “As a matter of fact, recurring items with names that
Charles dear, it was a lot more meant nothing to —
him Schlick-
than that. Two million seven Tolhaus Procedures, Homiletic.s
hundred thousand, Hara said. and so on. The second sheet bore
Didn’t you ever look at your a list of charges for what ap-
statement?” peared to be financial servicing,
Forrester stared. Two million presumably investing and super-
sev — Two mill vising his capital. The third was
“Oh, yes.” She nodded. “Look for diagnostic procedures, there
it up. You had the papers with were several for what seemed to
you in the tea room yesterday.” be separate surgeries, sheets for
—
“But but Adne! Somebody nursing car and for pharmaceu-
—
must’ve 1 mean, your kids were ticals used . there were in all
. .

with me when I deposited the nearly thirty sheets and the to-
check! It was only two hundred tals at the bottom of each of
and some thousand .” . . them were impressive, but the
“Dear Charles. Will you please last sheet of all took Forrester’s
look it up in your statement?” breath away.
She stood up, looking somewhat It was a simple arithmetical
annoyed and somewhat, he statement
52 galaxy
 ” ”

Aggregate of converted as- “You did,” she pointed out.

sets $2,706,884.72 “Given time, people can. At
Aggregate of Schedules compound interest, they can,”
1-27: $2,443,182.09 “But it’s — —
it’sit’s medical
Net due patient on dis- profiteering! I don’t know what
charge: $263,702.63 they did to me, but surely there
should be some attempt to con-
Forrester gasped and coughed trol fees!”
and cried, half strangled: “Two Adne took his arm and sat him
and a half million dollars for down again on the couch beside
medical Sweet Jesus God!” her. She said with patience, but
He swallowed and looked up un- not very much patience, “Dear
believingly. “Holy A.M.A.! Who Charles, I wish you would learn

can afford that kind of money?” a little something about the

Adne said, “Why, you can, for world before you tell us all
one. Otherwise you’d still be what’s wrong with it. Do you
frozen.” know what they did to you?”
—” a He admitted, “Well Not ex- —
“Christ!
struck him —And
“look at this!
thought
Even actly, no. But I know something
so they’re cheating says me! It about what medical treatment
two hundred and sixty thousand,, costs.” He frowned. “Or used to,
and they only gave me two thir- anyway. I suppose there’s infla-
ty!” tion.”
Adne was beginning to look “Idon’t think so. I I think —
faintly angry again. “Well, after that’s the wrong word,” she said.
all, Charles. You did go back “I mean, that means things cost
there for extra treatment. You more because the money is worth
might get some of that back from less, right? But that isn’t what
Heinzie, I don’t know. Of course, happened. Those operations
he’s protesting it because you would have cost just as much
messed things up.” in the nineteenth century, but
—
He looked at her blankly, then “Twentieth!”
back at the statement. He “Oh, what’s the difference?
groaned. Twentieth, then. That is, they
“Reach me my drink,” he said, would have cost just as much if
and took a long pull of it. He anybody had been able to do
announced, “The whole thing’s them. Of course, nobody was.”
crazy. Millions of dollars for Forrester nodded unwillingly.
doctors! People just can’t have “All right, admit I’m alive and
thatmuch money.” I
I

shouldn’t kick. But still

—
THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 53
 ” ” ” —
Impatiently the girl selected people worked on you. All sorts
another document from the sheaf, of specialists. All their helpers.
glanced at it and handed it to Using all their equipment. They
him. Forrester looked, and was get a case like yours, it’s like
very nearly sick. Full color, near- one of those great big enormous
ly life size, he thought at first jigsaw puzzles. They have to put
thatit was Lon Chaney made up it all back together, piece by
as The Phantom of the Opera. piece . only they don’t have
. .

But there was no makeup. It all the pieces, so they have to

was a face Or what was left of get or make new ones and of . . .

one. course the stuff spoils so. They

He gagged. "What—What— have to
—
“Do you see, Charles? You “Quit it!”
were in bad shape.” "You’re awfully jumpy, Char-
“Me?” les.”
“Oh, yes, dear. You really “All right! I’m jumpy.” He
must read your report. See here. took a deep drag on the ciga-
Evidently you fell forward into rette and asked the question that
the flames. Besides being killed had been developing in his mind
“the whole anterior section of the for ten minutes now. “Look. At
head was destroyed. At least, the a normal rate of expenditure
soft parts. Mm—lucky your oh, you know; the way you see
brains weren’t cooked, at that.” —
me living roughly how long is
He saw with incredulity that this my quarter of a million dollars
tender, charming girl was study- going to last?”
ing the photograph with as little She looked into space and
passion as though the charred tapped her teeth. “There are
meat represented were a lamb
it those custom items of yours,” she
chop. She went on, “Didn’t you said thoughtfully. “They come
say you noticed your eyes were high.Those things you smoke,
different? New eyes.” and fowl eggs, and what was —
Forrester croaked, “Put that thing? The oransh
thing away.”
that
juice
—other
He took a swallow of his drink, “Leaving out that kind of
regretted it, fished out what re- stuff! How long?”
mained of his second pack of She pursed her lips. “Well, it
cigarettes and lit one. “I see what depends.”
you mean,” he said at last. “Roughly! How long?”
“Do you? Good, deai. You She said, “Well, maybe the
know, I bet four or five hundred rest of this week.”
54 GALAXY
T T e goggled at her. He re- ening him from sleep. It took him
pressed a laugh that sound- a minute to realize what it was,
ed like a sob. emerging from his bemused state.
The end
of the week? Then he said, “In a minute, ma-
He had
been building himself chine. Adne, let me get this
up to an answer he wouldn’t like straight
—
. but this exceeded his expec-
. . But she was looking urgent
tations. He said wretchedly, and abashed. “Charles dear,
“Adne —what am I supposed to you’d better take this message.”
do?” “Man Forrester! I have a
“Well,” she said, “you could priority notice of personal visit!”
always get a job.” “Yeah, but, Adne—”
“Sure,” he said bitterly. “Got “Charles,” she said, “please
one up your sleeve? One that take Or never mind. I’ll tell
it.

pays a million dollars a week?” you myself.” She looked down at

To his surprise she took him her hands, avoiding his eyes. “I
half seriously. “Oh, Charles! Not guess I should have told you be-
that much. I mean, you’re not fore. I think that’s Heinzie com-
skilled. Twenty, twenty-five ing now.”
thousand a day I don’t think — “Heinzie? The Martian? The
—
you can really expect more than one
that.” She said apologetically, “I told
He said, “You mean you can him to come, Charles dear. You’d
find me a job like that?” really better let him in.”
what do you think
“Well,
Taiko would have paid?” VII
“Wait a minute! You mean
Taiko would have given me a A s Forrester admitted the man
job? But I thought I mean, he — named Heinzlichen Jura de
said it was his club what did — Syrtis Major he was in the state
he call the Ned Lud So- described as “ready for any-
ciety
— it,

thing”. What this actually means

“Yes, that’s right.” She nod- is that he was totally unready.
ded. “But he was quite aston- He did not know what to expect.
ished at the way you acted, He could feel his heart pounding;
Charles. I don’t know whether he felt that his hands were be-
he’s angry or not.” ginning to shake. Even Adne
“Man Forrester!” seemed stimulated; she was
The sound of the joymaker watching them, her small face
was almost like an alarm, wak- and she was
intensely interested,

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 55

fumbling something out of her Forrester exhaled sharply
joymaker. A tranquilizer? No; through his nose. It tingled. He
more likely something to pep her felt the adrenalin flushing
up, thought Forrester. Whatever through his blood. He opened his
it was, she popped it in her mouth; but Adne cut in swiftly
mouth and swallowed before she before he could speak:
said; “Hello, Heinzie. Come on “Heinzie, dear! You prom-
in. I think you and Charles have ised.”
met.” “Promised? What promised?
Forrester gave her a look, then I promised to talk, dat’s all. So
returned to Heinzlichen. He let’s talk.”
started to put out his hand, then “But Charles doesn’t under-
stopped, standing on the balls of stand how things are, Heinzie,
his feet, half ready to shake Sit down. Have a drink.”
hands, half in something like the “Oh, sure I’ll have a drink. You
attack position of karate. “We’ve pick me out something nice. But
met, all right. Too damned often.” make it fast, because I only have
Heinzlichen came in, allowed a couple of minutes.” He re-
the door to close behind him, and turned to Forrester. “Well? You
stood still, studying Forrester like want to talk?”
a specimen in a museum. Adne Forrester said belligerently,
had been playing with the lights “You’re damned right I want to
again, and mottled reds and yel- talk.And no, Adne, I don’t want
lows flecked his face. They fit a drink. Now, look here, you
—
his personal color scheme. He he hesitated, finding it hard to
was a tall, fat man. His hair was think of the right thing to say
red, and he wore a close-cut red “well, what I want to know is,

beard that covered all of his face why the devil do you want to
except for nose, lips and eyes, killme?”
like the mask of a chimpanzee. The Martian looked baffled.
He rubbed his beard thought- He glanced at Adne helplessly,
fully while he examined Forrest- then returned to Forrester.
er’s face attentively, glanced ap- “Sweat, I don’t know,” he said.
praisingly at his arms and body, “Up dere at de party you
stared at the stance of his feet stomped my foot and all . . .

and finally nodded. He returned but I guess I just don’t like you

his gaze to Forrester’s chest and anyway. What do you want to

stabbed at it with a finger. He ask a question like dat for?”
said, “Dat is where I will kill “Why? It’s my life!”
you. Dere. In de heart.” The Martian growled, “I knew
56 GALAXY
dis was a bad idea. Honey, I’m
going. De more I see of dis guy,
de him.”
less I like
But Adne had her hand on his
ann. “Please, Heinzie. Here.”
She handed him a fizzy orange
drink in a thing like a brandy
inhaler with a hollow stem. “You
know Charles is just out of the
sleep-freeze. He’s kind of a slow
learner, I’m afraid.”
“Dat’s his business. Killing
him, dat’s my business.” But the
Martian grumpily accepted the
drink. The girl pressed her ad-
vantage.
“Yes, but, Heinzie, dear, what’s
the fun of it if he doesn’t know
what it’s all about?”
“Trimmer,” Heinzlichen growl-
ed. “Maybe it’s more fun dat
way. I can’t help dinking we
lose some of de important values
when it’s all so cut and dried.”
“All right, I-Ieinzie,
you’re right, but there’s such a
thing as fair play, too. Why, I
don’t even think Charles really
knows what his rights are.”
The Martian shook his head.
“Dat’s not my business
Dere’s his joymaker; let him
call up and find out.”
Adne winked reassuringly at
Forrester, who was not in the
least reassured. But she seemed
more confident and relaxed now.
She leaned back, sipping
drink, and said silkily. “Wouldn’t
it be nicer for you to talk
THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT
about it? Tell Charles what you
want to do exactly?”
“Oh, dat part’s all right.” The
Martian put down his own drink,
scratched his beard thoughtfully
and said: “Well, it’s like dis. 1
want to beat him up good, and
den I will stomp on his chest
cage until it breaks and ruptures
de heart. De reason I like to do
it dat way is it hurts a lot, and
you don’t get near de brain. Of
course,” he mused, “1 got to
pay a little more, but de best
pleasures are de ones you pay
for. Cheap’s cheap.” Then his
—
expression lightened or seemed
to; the beard hid most of his
transient looks. “Anyway,” he
added, “maybe I can get off
paying de bill. I talked to de
lawyer and he said Forrester got
himself in a jam wid de law when
dis Oder fellow butted in, so may-
maybe be we can fight de costs. But dat
doesn’t matter in de long run.
What de hell, if it costs it costs.”
^orrester nodded thoughtfully
S and sat down. “I believe I’ll
eider. have that drink now, Adne,” he
said. He realized, with a certain
amount of pride, that he was per-
fectly calm.
The reason was that Forrester
had come to a decision v/hile
Heinzlichen was talking: he had
her decided to go along with the gag.
True, it v/asn’t really a gag.
to him True, when this man said he in-
57
 ” — —
tended to cause Forrester a lot amount of sense, he realized. The
of pain and ultimate death, he thing you had to remember was
meant every word of it. But you that to these people death was
could not spend your life in not a terminal act but only an
weighing consequences. You had intermission.
to pretend that the chips were He said, “As I understand it
only plastic and did not repre- I mean, if I understand it the —
sent real currency of any sort, legal part of this business moans
otherwise you would lose the you have pay my
to guarantee to
game out of nerves and panic. freezer costs if you kill me.”
The very fact that the stakes “Nah! Not ‘if’. Odderwise you
were so important to Forrester got it.”
was a good reason for pretend- “So I don’t have anything to
ing they were only make-believe. say about it. The lawyer lets you

lie accepted a glass from Adne kill me and I’m stuck with it.”
and said reasonably, “Now, let’s “Dat’s right.”
get this straight. Did I under- Forrester said thoughtfully,
stand you right? You talked to a “But it doesn’t sound fair to me,

lawyer before you tried to kill everything considered.”

me?” “Fair? Of course it’s fair! Dat’s
‘Neh! Wake up, will you? All de whole idea of de guaranties.”
I did den was file de papers.”
— “Yes, of course — if the cir-
“But you just said cumstances are noinnal. But in
“Listen, why you? De
don’t with death-reversal out
this case,
paper,s was so I could kill you of the question . .
.”

all de usual stuff, bonds to cover The Martian snorted angrily.

de DR business, guaranties “Are you crazy?”
against damaging de brain and “No, really,” Forrester per-
like dat. Den de lawyer was just sisted. “You said you were going
yesterday, when I got de idea to try to get out of paying my
maybe I could kill you and save expenses. You know more about
all de bond and guarantie it than I do. Suppose you suc-
money.” ceed?”
“Excuse me. I didn’t under- “Oh, boy! Den you have to
stand that part.” Forrester nod- pay dem yourself.”
ded pleasantly, tipped back his Forrester said politely, “But
glass and swallowed it down. you see, I don’t have any money
“Another please, Adne,” he said, to pay them with. Ask Adne.”
thinking hard. The Martian turned to Adne
It began to make a certain with a look of unbelieving anger,
58 GALAXY
 ” ” ”

but she said, “As a matter of “De hell with how you’d feci.
fact, Heinzie, Charles is telling All right, look. I’m not promis-
you the truth. I didn’t think of ing anything, but I’ll talk to de
it,but it’s so. I mean, I haven’t lawyer again and see where de
checked his balance . . . but it hell we stand. Meanwhile, you
can’t be much.” get a job, hear?”
“De hell with his balance!
What de sweat do I care about showed the Martian
that
“You
I just want to kill him!”
you
FHe orrester
out. He was feeling elated.
see. Jura, stood thoughtfully at the
me — if kill
door, testing the feeling.For a
“Shut up, you!” man who had just discovered he
“But the way things are — was a pauper, who had reinforced
“Dogsweat!” The Martian’s the dislike of an enemy who pro-
face was working angrily under posed to kill him, Forrester was
the mask of beard. He was con- feeling pretty good. Probably it
fused, and mad about it. “What’s was all in an illusion, he thought
de matter with you, Forrester? fatalistically.
Why didn’t you get a job?” Adne was curled up on the
“Well, I will. As soon as I couch, study .ing him. She had
can.” been doing something with the
“Sweat! You want to chicken lights again; now they were
out, dat’s all!” misty blue, and her skin gleamed
“I simply didn’t understand through the lacy strands of her
my money situation. I didn’t plan coverall. Perhaps she had been
it way. I’m sorry. Jura, I
this doing something with that, too;
really am, but — it seemed to be showing more of

“Shut up!’ barked the Martian. Adne than it had earlier. For-
“Look, I got no more time for rester excused himself and went
dis talk. I have to go to de re- into the little lavatory room to
hearsal hall, we’re doing de splash cold water on his face:
Schumann lieder and I’m de And then he realized the cause of
soloist. Answer de question. Do his elation.
you want to chicken out?” He had managed to win a
“Well,” said Forrester, fiddling point.
with his glass and casting a side- He was not a bit sure it was
long glance at Adne, “yes.” a worthwhile point; he wasn’t
“Fink! Dogsweat fink!” even quite sure of what he had
“I knov7 how you feel. I guess won. But for better or for worse,
I’d feel the same way.” he had won a small victory over
THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 59
 ”

Heinzlichen Jura de Syrtis side him. It was like a mild elec-

Major. For days Forrester had tric shock, like a whiff of mingled
been a cork bobbing to the oxygen and musk.
thrusts of every passerby; now Adne studied him critically,
he was thrusting back. He came then leaned forward and kissed
smiling back into the room and him on the lips.
cried: “I want a drink!” A moment later he said, “Do
Adne was still on the couch, that again.”
murmuring into her joymaker. She did. Then she lay back
“— and be sure you’re locked against him with her head on his
up,” she was saying, “don’t for- shoulder.
get your prophylaxis and good “Dear Charles,” she said,
night,Mim.” She put it down “you’re such a nut.”
and looked up at him. Her ex- He stroked her and kissed her
pression was sulky but enter- hair. The parallel-strand fabric
tained. did not feel coarse or wirey; lie
“The kids?” She nodded. “My could hardly tell it was there.
God, is it that late?” He had for- “I don’t know if you did the
gotten the passage of time. “I’m right thing with Heinzie,” she
sorry. I mean, what about their said meditatively. “It’s kind of
dinners and all?” — you know. Almost chicken
She looked slightly less sulky, .
.” Then she turned inside his
.

slightly more entertained. “Oh, arm and kissed his ear. “I know
Charles! Youweren’t thinking I it embarrasses you when I talk
had to boil oatmeal or peel po- biology, —
but well, the reason
tatoes? They’ve had their din- I’m natural-flow, you see, is I’m
ners, of course.” a natural type of girl. Do you
“Oh. Well. I guess we should understand?”
be thinking about ours — “Sure,” he lied, hardly even
“Not yet.” hearing her.
Forrester said, reorienting his “I mean, if you want to you
thinking very quickly. “All right. can take the pills and use chem-
Then what about that drink?” osimulants and it’s just about the
“I’m not thirsty, you fool.” same. But I don’t do that, be-
She lifted her joymaker, looked cause if you’re going to do that,
him over with narrowed eyes, you might just as well go all the
kissed the soft spot at the base way and use the joy machine.”
of his throat and touched it with “I can see that, all right,” he
the joymaker. said, but she fended him off and
Forrester felt a sudden urge in- added:
60 GALAXY
 —
one doesn’t have to be
"Slii’, pays —
he coughed before he
”
Cjinetimes you’re at a low
it

could get the figure out “around —

‘
point, and something special hap- ten million bucks a year.”
pens and you’d like to be at a But the joymaker took it in
high point. Then you can take a stride. “Yes, Man Forrester.
pill if you want to, do you see?” Please inform me further as to
“Oh, yes! Say!” said Forrester, working conditions home or ex-—
pleasantly excited, “I wonder! ternal; mode of payment
How would you feel about taking straight cash or fringed; if fringe,
a pill now?” nature permitted —profit-shar-
She sat up, stretched and put ing, stock issue, allocated earn-
her arms around him. “Don’t ings bonus, or other; categories
have to,” she said, resting her not to be considered; religious,
cheek against his. “I took one moral or political objections, not
when you let Heinzie in.” stated in your record profile,
which may debar classes of em-
^J^ith two victories in one day, ploy—’
thought Forrester in a mood “Slow down a minute, ma-
of pleasant triumph and lassi- chine. Let me think.”
tude, this world could come pret- “Certainly, Man Forrester.
ty close to his first hopes for it Will you receive your messages
after all. After the girl had gone now?”
he slept for ten good hours, and “No. I mean,” he added cau-
woke with the conviction that tiously, “not unless there are
everything would come out right. some life and death ones, like
The father of a president and the that Martian being out to kill me
lover of Adne Bensen was, at again.” But there weren’t. That,
least in his own eyes, a figure of too, thought Forrester with pleas-
much mana. There were prob- ure, set this day off from other
lems. But he would cope with days.
them. He
ate thoughtfully and eco-
He ordered breakfast and add- nomically, bathed, put on clean
ed: “Machine! How do I go clothes and allowed himself an
about getting a job?” extremely expensive cigarette be-
“If you will state parameters, fore he tackled the joymaker
Man Forrester,I will inform you again. Then he said: “Tell you
as to openings which may be what you do, machine. Just give
suitable.” me an idea of what jobs are
“You mean what kind of job? open.”
I don’t know what kind. Just so “I cannot sort them unless you

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 61


give me parameters, Man For-
rester.”
“That’s right. Don’t sort them.
Just give me an idea of what’s
going.”
“Very well, Man Forrester.
will give you direct crude read-
out of new received in
listings as
real time. Marking. Mark! Item,
curvilinear phase-analysis major,
seventy-five hundred. Item, chef,
full manual, cordon-bleu exper-
ience, eighteen thousand. Item,
poll subjects, detergents and
stress-control appliance, no ex-
perience required, six thousand.
Item, child-care domestics but, — her voice whispered, “see me
Man Forrester,” the joymaker
broke in on itself, “that clearly
specifies female employment.
Shall I eliminate the obviously
inappropriate listings?”
“No. I mean, yes. Eliminate
the whole thing for now. I get the
idea.” But it was confusing,
thought Forrester uncomforta-
bly; the salaries mentioned were
hardly higher than twentieth-
century scales They would not
support a Pekingese pup in this
era of joyful extravagance. “I
think ni go see Adne,” he said
suddenly, and aloud.
The joymaker chose to reply.
“Very well, Man Forrester, but
I must inform you as to a Class
Gamma Transit outside
alert.
your own dwelling will be inter-
rupted for drill purposes.”
“Oh. God. An air raid?”
62
'
“A drill, Man Forrester.”
“Sure. Well, how long is that
going to go on?”
“Perhaps five minutes, Man
Forrester.”
I “Oh, well, that’s not so bad.
I tell you what, why don’t you
give me my messages while I’m
waiting.”
“Yes, Man Forrester. There is
one personal and nine commer-
cial. The personal message is
from Adne Bensen and follows.”
Forrester felt the light touch of
Adne’s hand, then the whisper of
Adne’s voice: “Dear Charles,”
again soon, you dragon! And
you know we have to think about
something, don’t you? We have
to decide on a name.”
VIII
'^XT^hen he reached Adne’s
^
apartment the children let
him in. “Hello, Tunt,” he said.
“Hello, Mim.”
They stared at him curiously,
then at each other. Blew it again,
he thought in resignation; it must
be the girl that’s Tunt, the boy
that’s Mim. But he had long since
decided that if he tried to track
down all his little errors he would
have time for nothing else, and
he was determined not to be de-
railed. “Where’s your mother?”
he asked.
“Out,”
GALAXY
 ”

“Do you know where?” For- boy. “Let’s see. There are eleven
rester asked. of us.”
“Uh-huh.” “Twelve!” the girl crowed. “I
Forrester said patiently, bet you forgot the robot again.”
“Would you like to tell me?” “MaybeI did. You and me,

The boy and girl looked at Tunt. Four boys. Three girls. A
each other thoughtfully. Then grown-up. A Martian and . . .

the boy “Well, not par-

said.
ticularly, Charles. We’re kind of
busy.”
Forrester had always thought
of himself as a man who liked
children but, although he smiled
at these two, the smile was be-
coming forced. “I guess I can
call her up on the joymaker,” he
said.
The boy looked scandalized.
the robot. Yeah, twelve.”
“You mean a Martian like
Heinzlichen what’s-his-name?”
“Oh, no, Charles! Heinzie’s a
dope, but he’s people. This is
one of the big green ones with
four arms.”
Forrester did a double-take,
then said, “You mean like in Ed-
gar Rice Burroughs? But but ——
I didn’t think those were real

"Now? While she’s crawling?” The boy looked politely inter-

Forrester sighed. “Look, fel- ested. “Yes? What about it?”
lows, I want to talk to your “What do you mean by ‘real’,

mother about something. How do Charles?” asked the girl.

you recommend I go about it?”

“You could wait here, I guess,” n the old days before Forres-
the boy said reluctantly. I ter died he had been a sci-
“If you have to,” added the ence-lover. It had always seemed
girl. to him wonderful and exciting
“I get the impression you don’t that he should be living in an
want me around. What are you age where electricity came from
kids doing?” wall sockets and living pictures
“Well —” the boy overruled from a box on a bench. He had
his with a look and said
sister thought sometimes, with irony
sheepishly — “we’re having a and pity, of how laughably in-
meeting.” competent some great mind of
“But please don’t tell Taiko!” the past, a Newton or Archime-
cried the girl. des, would have been to follow
“He doesn’t like our club,” the his own six-year-old’s instructions
boy finished. about tuning a television set or
“Just the two of you?” operating his electric trains. So
“Sweet sweat, no!” laughed the here I am, he thought wryly, the

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 63

 ”

bushman in Times Square. If a offer of a ^ job, assuming it was

"

not much fun. still open; and before he came

But by careful and single- to that worsthe would be better
minded questioning he got some off toknown something about it.
glimpse of what the children were “Display away,” he said. “What
talking about. Their playmates have I got to lose?”
were not “real”, but they were
a lot realer than, say, a Betsy- ^"T^he viewing wall, obedient to
Wetsy doll. They were analogues the little girl’s orders, wash-
— simulacra — the children call- ed out the forest glade and re-
ed thern “simulogs”, when press- placed it with a stage. On it a
ed. The little girl said proudly man in a fright wig was bound-
that they were very good at de- ing about and howling.
veloping inter-personal relation- With difficulty Forrester rec-
ships. “Got that much,” said ognized the blond, crew-cut
Charles, “or anyway I think I visitorhe had so unceremonious-
do. So what does Taiko have to ly got rid of — when? Was it

do with it?” only a couple of days ago? Taiko

“Oh, him!” was doing a sort of ceremonial
“He doesn’t like anything that’s step dance, a couple of paces in
fun.” one direction and a stomp; a
“Says we’re losing the will to couple of paces away, and an-
cope with —
with what you said, other stomp. And what he was
Charles. ‘Reality.’ ” shouting seemed like gibberish to
“And all that sweat,” added Forrester:
the girl. “Say! Would you like “Lud, lords, led nobly!”
to hear him?” (Stomp!) “Let Lud lead, lords
She glanced toward the view- (stomp!), lest lone, lorn lads lapse
well, now showing a placid back- loosely (stomp!) into limljo!”
ground scene of woody glades (Stomp!) He faced forward and
and small furry animals. “You threw his arms wide. The camera
mean on the television?” For- zoomed in on his impassioned,
rester asked. tortured face. “Jeez, kids! You
“The what, Charles?" want to get your goddam brains
“On that.” scrambled? You want to be a
“That’s right, Charles.” juiceless jellyfish If you don’t,
“Well,” said Forrester . . . then —
let Lud lead! (Stomp!)
And thought that, after all, he Let Lud lead! (Stomp!) Let Lud
might as well. If worst came to lead —
worst, he could take up Taiko’s The boy cried over the noise

64 GALAXY
 ”

From the view wall: “Now he’s At length the little girl sighed
going to ask for comments from and said, “Charles, you’re so
the viewers. This is where we sweaty ignorant I could freeze. I
usually send in things to make never heard of anybody being
tiim mad like. ‘Go back in the out of money, ’cept the Forgotten
freezer, you old icy cube’ and Men. Don’t you know how to get
'Taiko’s a dirty old Utopian!’ CH a job?”
course, we don’t give our names.” “Not very well.”
“Today I was going to send in. “You use the joymaker,” the
If itwas up to people like you boy said patiently.
we’d be swinging from our
still “Sure. I tried that.”
tails apes,’ ” said the girl
like The boy looked excited. “You
thoughtfully, “but it probably mean — look, Charles, you want
wouldn’t make him very mad.” me to help you? Cause I will. I
Forrester coughed. “Actually, mean, we had that last year in
I’d just as soon not make him Phase Five. All you have to do
mad. I may have to go to work is
—
for him.” His expression suddenly be-
The children stared at him, dis- came crafty. “Oh, sweat, Char-
mayed. The boy extinguished les,” he said carelessly, “let me
Taiko’s image on the view-wall do it for you. Just, uh, tell it to
and cried, “Please, Charles, don’t listen to me.”
do that! Mim said you turned Forrester didn’t need the girl’s
him down.” look of thrilled shock to warn
“I did, but I may have to re^ him. “Nope,” he said firmly. “I’ll
consider; I have to get some kind wait for your mother to come
of a job. Matter of fact, that’s home.”
why I’m here.” The boy grinned and surren-
“Oh, good,” said the girl. dered. “All right. Charles. I just
“Mim’ll get you a job. Won’t she, wanted to ask it something about
Tunt?” Mim’s other, uh, friends. Well,
“If she can,” the boy said un- here’s what you do. Tell it you
certainly. “What can you do?” want to be tested for an employ-
“That’s one of my problems. ability profile and then you want
But there has to be something; recommendations.”
I’m running out of money.” “I don’t exactly know what
They did not respond to that, that involves,” Forrester said
merely looked at him wide-eyed. cautiously.
They not only looked astonished, The boy sighed. “You don’t
they looked embarrassed. have to, Charles. Just do it. What
THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 65
 — —
the sweat do you think the joy- vous system and learning more
maker’s for?” from the impulses that raced
through his brain than from his
\ nd actually, it turned out words, anyway. Which was con-
pretty easy, although the firmed when, at the end of the
“employability profile” testing questions, the joymaker said:
involved some rather weird ques- “Man Forrester, we will now ob-
tions serve you until you return to rest
What is ‘God’? state. I will then inform you as
Are your stools black and to employability.”
tarry? Forrester stood up, stretched
you happened to be a girl,
If and looked around the room. He
would you wish you were a boy? could not help feeling that he
Assume there are Plutonians. had been through an ordeal. Be-
Assume there are elves. If elves ing reborn was nearly as much
attacked Pluto without warning, trouble as being born in the first

whose side would you be on? place.

Why are you better than any-
one else?
Most of the questions were like
that. Some were worse —either
totally incomprehensible to For-
rester, touching on matters
or
that made him blush and glance
uneasily at the children. But the
children seemed to take it as a
matter of course, and indeed
grew bored before long and wan-
dered back to their own view-
wall,where they watched what
seemed to be a news broadcast.
Forrester growled out the an-
swers as best he could, having
come to the conclusion that the
machine knew what it was doing
even if he didn’t. The answers,
of course, made no more sense
than the questions tardily he ;
realized that the joymaker was
undoubtedly monitoring his ner-
The children were discussing
the scene on the view-wall, which
seemed to show a crashed airlin-
er surrounded by emergency
equipment, on what appeared to
be a mountain-top somewhere.
Men and machines were dousing
it with chemical sprays and
carrying out injured and dead
if they made that distinction
on litters, to what Forrester rec-
ognized by the ruby caduceus as
death-reversal vehicles. The
mountainside was dotted with
what looked like pleasure craft
tiny, bright-colored aircraft that
had no visible business there,
and that seemed to be occupied
by sightseers. No doubt they
—
were, thought Forrester reiiu'in-
bering the crowds that had stood
by the night he was burned to
death, heedless of icy spiny, icy

66 GALAXY
 ” — ”

winds and irritated police trying were moving about the star-map,
to push them back. and a voice was saying: “ probe —
“Old Hap’s never going to reports from 61 Cygni, Proxima
make it,” said the boy to the girl, Centauri, Epsilon Indi and Cor-
and looked up to see Forrester. doba 31353 show no sign of arti-
“Oh, you’re done?” factual activity and no change in
Forrester nodded. A drone net systemic energy levels.”
from the view-wall saying,” “Dopes!” shrilled the little
made it again, with a total to this girl. “They couldn’t find a Mar-

minute of thirty-one and fifty- tian in a mattress.”

five, out of a possible ninety- “ —at Groombridge 1830, how-
eight.Not bad for the Old Mas- ever, the unidentified object
ter! Yet Hap still trails the monitored days ago shows no
six
rookie Maori from Pore Mores- sign of emission and has been
by — tentatively identified as a large
“What are you watching?” he comet, although its anecliptic or-
asked. bit marks this large and massive
“Just the semi-finals,” said the intruder as a potential trouble
boy. “How’d you make out on spot. Needless to say, it is being
your tests?” carefully watched, and SEPF
“I don’t have the results yet.” headquarters in Federal City an-
The screen flickered and showed nounce that they are phasing two
a new picture, a sort of stylized additional monitors out of their
star-map with arrows and dots passive orbits . .
.”

of green and gold. Forrester said, “What are they talking

“Is ten million a year too much
to ask for?”
“Sweat, Charles! How would
we know?” The boy was clearly
more interested in the view-wall
than in Forrester, but he was
polite enough to add: “Tunt’s
projected life average is about
twelve million a year. Mine’s fif-
teen. But of course we’ve got uh,
more advantages,” he said deli-
cately.
Forrester sat down and re-
signed himself to waiting for the
results. The arrows and
fHE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT
about?” Forrester asked the boy.
“The war, of course. Shut up,
won’t you?”
“ —
Well, there’s good news to-
night from 22H Camelopardis!
A late bulletin just received from
sortie-control headquarters states
that the difficult task of replac-
ing the damaged probe has beenj
completed! The first of the re-,
placements rushed out from BO
7899 has achieved stellar orbit
in a near-perfect, almost circular
orbit, and all systems are go.
circles Seven back-up replacements —
67
 ”

“Sweat,” said the girl. “What “Hell, no.” The numbers and
a tedious war! Charles, you graphs were not only meaningless
used to do things better didn’t but disturbing. Forrester had a
you?” flash of memory which he iden-
“In what way?” tified as coming from the last
The girl looked puzzled. “More time a government agency had
killing, of course.” concerned itself with finding him
“If you call that better, maybe —
a job after his discharge from
we did. World War Two killed the peacetime conscription term,
like twenty million people, I when he joined the long lines of
think.” unemployables telling their lies
“Weep. Twenty million'' to a bored State Employment
breathed the girl. “And so far Service clerk. He could almost
we’ve killed, what is it, Tunt? see the squares of linoleum on
Twenty-two?” the floor, the queues of those
“Twenty-two million?” asked who, like himself, wanted only
Forrester. to collect unemployment insur-
The boy shook his head dis- ance for a while, in the hope that
gustedly. “Twenty-two individ- the world would clarify itself to
ual Sirians. Isn’t that rotten?” them.
But the joymaker was talking:
T)ut before Forrester could an- “Your profile, Man Forrester,
swer his joymaker spoke up: employ-
indicates relatively high
“Man Forrester! Your tests ability in personal-service and
have been
integrated and as- advocative categories. I have se-
sayed. May
I display the tran- lected ninety-three possible open-
script on Bensen children equip- ings. Shall I give you the list?”
ment?” “My God, no. Just give me
“Go ahead,” the boy said sul- the oneyou like best.”
lenly. “Can’t be any worse than “Your optimum choice, Man
that." Forrester, is as follows: Salary,
The star-map disappeared seventeen thousand five hundred.
from the wall and was replaced This is rather less than your
by shimmering sine-waves, punc- stated requirements, but an ex-
tuated with numbers that were pense —
quite meaningless to Forrester. “Hold on a minute! I’ll say it’s
“You may apply for re-evalua- less! I was asking for ten mil-
tion on any element of the pro- lion!”
file, if you wish. Do you wish to “Yes, Man Forrester. You
do this, Man Forrester?” stated ten million per year. This

68 GALAXY
is seventeen thousand five hun- accuracy of data. The employer
dred per day. At four-day week is relatively unfamiliar with hu-

norm, allowing for projected man culture and cus-

overtime as against health losses, toms —history,
three million eight hundred thou- “It fs!” cried the girl.
sand dollars per year. Expenses “ —and will supplement your
are also included, however, op- services with TIC data as need-
timized at five million plus in ed.” Forrester cut in. “Never
addition to salary.” mind that. Where do I go for my

“Wait a minute.” The numbers interview?”

were so large as to be dizzying. “Man Forrester, you have had
He turned to the children. it.”
“That’s almost nine million a “You mean I’ve got the job?
year. Can I live on that?” But —but what do I do next?”
“Sweat, Charles, sure, if you “Man Forrester, I was outlin-
want to.” ing the procedure. Please note
Forrester took a deep breath. the following signal.” There was
“I’ll take it,” he said. a mellow, booming chime. “This
message from your
will indicate a
'"^he joymaker did not seem employer. Under the terms of
particularly concerned. “Very your employment contract you
well, Man Forrester. Your duties may not decline to accept these
are as follows: Conversation. messages during the hours of ten
Briefing. Discussion. The orien- hundred to fourteen hundred on
tation is timeless, so your status working days. You are further
as a recent disfreeze will not be required to receive such messages
a handicap. You will be expected with no more than twelve hours’
to answer questions and be avail- delay even on non-worldng days.”
able for discussions, usually re- And that, thought Forrester,
mote due to habitat considera- was that.
tions. Some travel is indicated.” Except for trying to find out
“Sweat.” The Bensen children what was bugging the kids. He
showed signs of interest; the boy said, “All right. What’s eating
sat up and his sister stared wide- you?”
eyed at Forrester. They were whispering togeth-
“Supplementary information, er,their eyes on him. The boy
Man Forrester: This employer stopped long enough to ask,
has rejected automated services “Eating Charles?”
us,
for heuristic reasons. His desid- “Why are you acting like
eratum is subjectivity rather than that?” Forrester amended.

THE AGE OF THE PUSSYFOOT 69

 “Oh, nothing,” the boy said.
“Nothing important ” correct-
ed the girl.
“Come on!”
The little girl said, “It’s just
that we never knew anybody
who’d work them before.”
for
“Work for who?”
“The joymaker told you, Char-
les! Don’t you listen?” said the
boy, and the girl chimed in:
“Sweat, Charles! Don’t you
know who you’re working for?”
Forrester took a deep breath
and glared at them. He told him-
self that they were only children,
and that in fact he was rather
fond of them; but they seemed
on this particular morning to be
determined to drive him mad.
He sat down and picked up his
joymaker. Carefully he scanned
the cluster of buttons until he
found the crystal-clear, rounded
one he was looking for, turned
the joymaker until its spray-
nozzle was pointing at the ex-
posed flesh on his arm and
pressed the button.
Happily it was the right but-
ton. What the fine mist that
danced into his wrist might be
he did not know, but it achieved
TO BE CONTINUED
70
the expected effect. It was like a
super- tranquilizer; it cleared his
mind, quieted his pulse and en-
abled him to say, quite calmly,
“Machine! Just who the hell have
you got me working for?”
“Do you wish me to display a
picture of your employer, Man
Forrester?”
“You damn bet I wish!”
“Please observe the view-wall,
Man Forrester.”
And observe it Forrester did;
and swallowed hard, stunned.
In all justice to the joymaker,
Forrester was forced to admit
that he had placed no restrictions
on its choice of an employer for
him. He had been willing to ac-
cept almost anything, but all the
same he was surprised.
He hadn’t expected his em-
ployer to have bright green fur,
or a diadem of tiny eyes, peering
out of a ruff around a pointed
head, or tentacles. He had not,
in fact, expected it to be one of
The Enemy, the race whose pres-
ence in space had scared man-
kind into a vast series of raid
drills, weapons-programs and
space probes ... in short, a Sir-
ian.
^
GALAXY
 ”

INSIDE
by H. L. GOLD

He seemed fo be reading minds.

Bui whose? They certainly did
not belong io anybody be knew!

T ester Shay was married three “Exactly. And I know it’s not
months when he got his first overwork. I’m overworked my-
Erector set. Thalia, noting that self, but I’m in tiptop condition.”

he felt tired and rundown, or- “How do you manage it?” ask-
dered him to get a checkup. Too ed Les, interested in a tired, run-
tired and rundown to object, he down way.
went to see Dr. Peabody. “A hobby,” said Dr. Peabody.
“Very surprising,” the physi- “Gardening? Raising tropical
cian said after an embarrassingly fi,sh? Golf?”
thorough examination. “Married “The last thing you’d expect,”
three months, beautiful, affec- Dr. Peabody said, leaning for-
tionate bride —
but you get plen- ward excitedly. “I know a lot of
ty of sleep, outdoors a lot, a dentists. They give me old fillings
moderate amount of exercise.” and I’ve got this little smelter,
“I do all my own marketing,” see, and I break down the amal-
said Les, who owned a wholesale gam into silver and mercury,
grocery business. “I walk every then the stuff back to the
sell

chance I get, which is consider- dentists. Darn near pays for it-
able. Marketing is all outdoors, And fun? You ought to come
self!
you know. And I have to get to visitmy basement sometime!”
sleep early, because if I don’t get Shambling home, Les wonder-
up early, my competitors — ed what he could take up as a

71
hobby. Nightclubs and theaters or something,” he explained un-
wouldn’t do. They let out too late. comfortably.
Besides, they weren’t a hobby. “Wonderful!” she exclaimed.
Raising things was too close to “We can do it together!”
his actual work; it would make “You mean you like working
him think about produce and on Erector sets, too?” he cried.
canned goods. He did enough “Oh,” she said. “Well, that’s
outdoor walking to eliminate really a —
well, a man’s hobby.”
sports. She gave him the room that
That was when he saw the would some day be a nursery
Erector set in the store window. and he built a parachute jump,
a stake truck, a windmill and a
T T e stopped and studied it, ski tow. The spring came back
looking more wistful now to his walk and the roses to his
than tired or rundown. He had cheeks.
always wanted an Erector set, But than a week later, ly-
less
but his parents, believers in as ing in bed with his bride in his
the twig is bent so grows the arms, he could sense the old tired,
tree, had refused to buy him one. rundown feeling creep up on
They didn’t, they explained, want him.
their son to become a mechanic. “What’s the matter, darling?”
Not, mind you, they’d added, Thalia asked, disconcerted. “Is it
that there was anything wrong the onions I had for dinner?”*
with mechanics. But he was wor- “Oh, no, sweetheart!” he tried
thy of great things. They had to answer hastily, only it came
also been disappointed when he out a slow sigh. “It’s the Erector
went into the wholesale grocery set.”
line, were more pleased now be- “The — Erector set? Oh! The
cause he was doing well in it, but Erector set. Well, if it’s broken,
that wasn’t important. He still darling, you can always buy an-
wanted an Erector set. other.”
When he got home, Thalia “It’s not broken. That isn’t the
looked expectantly at the large, trouble,” he sighed again, and
heavy box. He had bought the turned over and moodily went to
biggest and most expensive set, sleep.
of course. The problem was still on his
“Oh, something for the house?” mind in the pre-dawn at the mar-
she asked, obviously hoping it ket. Kale was coming in nicely
wasn’t. and he had bought all the primes
“Doctor said I needed a hobby offered by the farmers. He mor-
72 GALAXY
osely helped Arnie, his driver, turn away in compassion and
load up. disgust. He left Arnie, puzzled
“What happened to the old enough to be silent for once, at
zip?” Amie asked concernedly. the service station and walked
“You were feeling great for a alone the rest of the way to the
while. Down in the dumps office.
again?” Les discovered he was sur-
“I guess so,” said Les. “Tem- rounded by sensations ranging
porarily, at least. I hope.” from purrs of pleasure all the
“You ought to try tooling one way to groans of pain. One purr
of these monmouths through city came from a trim little Porscht
traffic.Gotta judge every inch — new tune-up job, a little heavy
of the way. Boy, you drive one on the grease, but that would
and I bet you won’t have a min- thin out on the straightaway, he
ute to — thought, and the unexpected
Les found himself listening in- thought alarmed him.
tently,but not to Arnie’s good- Thought? He considered. It
natured chatter. Something was was a feeling, a very strong and
wrong. He knew it was wrong. explicit emotion. So was the sym-
But what? pathy for a passing cab that real-
No, not like walking barefooted ly wanted to lie down on some
in spilled sugar, he mused. nice, restful junkpile. A painful
Though it was a little like that click, click bothered him. He
— sort of gritty. But painful, too. looked up. It was a tower clock,
As if he were trying to run with desperately clawing its way
a sore socket in his leg. around the hours on eroded cams.
“You’ve got a bearing burning Damn the sadists who would put
out,” Les interrupted. a conscientious servant through
Arnie took a fast glance at him. such torture, he thought angrily.
“Since when you know about But he felt equally guilty
motors, Boss?” when he came into the office and
“A bearing,” said Les. “That’s heard Miss Zeichner typing. The
what it feels like.” dogs in the escape mechanism
Les nodded at a service sta- were practically howling and the
tion up ahead. “Pull in there. I keys were moving only because
want to have it checked.” her slim but powerful fingers
were beating them into moving.
'"T^he garageman examined the “Leave that alone!” Les said,
motor and found a bearing more sharply than he’d intended.
rubbed so raw that Les had to “I mean, no more typing for to-
INSIDE MAN 73
day,” he amended when she
jumped and looked frightened.
“But the filing’s all done and
I have a perfect mess of corres-
pondence to get out,” she ob-
jected. “If I don’t do it today
•
“Not on that battered hulk,”
he told her.
He called and ordered a new
Miss Zeichner
electric typewriter.
was, as she put it, thrilled. He
shrugged. She always was either
thrilled or absolutely —
com-
pletely and absolutely —
shatter-
ed. But only over unimportant
things.
For instance, was she com-
and absolutely shattered
pletely
by the pained limpings and
clenched-teeth determination to
do a job, to keep those pistons
pumping no matter what the cost;
completely and absolutely thrill-
ed by the sleek, contented mur-
murs, the happy little laughs of
conscious strength, easy power,
the cared-for feeling; or com-
pletely and absolutely dismayed
by the breathless puffing under a
merciless load, like — pers and bathrobe and newspa-
He listened sharply.
more sharply still.
It came from the warehouse
behind the office. He sprang out
of his seat savagely enough to
upset Miss Zeichner again, raced
into the warehouse.
A valiant little fork-lift
overloaded by half again
74
many cases of canned salmon,
was almost red-faced with strain.
Les leaped aboard, switched off
the motor, hauled out the man,
shoved him against the wall and
started a murderous swing.
“Mr. Shay!” yelped the man.
“What did I do wrong?”
It was Walt’s voice. Les blink-
ed, dropped his fist, slumped.
“Sorry, Walt,” he mumbled.
“Guess I’m all on edge today.
You had that fork-lift overload-
ed and it —
it jarred me. Sorry.”
Walt picked his shirt button
up off the floor. “Hell, Mr. Shay,
it’s all right. I’d probably feel
the same if somebody was ruin-
ing my property.”
\”
“ Property shouted Les, going
for him again. “Things like ma-
chines — property]”
Arnie, back while
truck
his
was being repaired, caught Les
'
from behind and held and sooth-
ed him into the office.
“You’re all tensed up. Boss,”
Amie said. “I’ll get you a cab
and you can go home and take a
hot bath and relax with your slip-
He felt per. How about it, huh?”
“I suppose so,” Les muttered.
“I’m not much help today.”
The cab was in good shape
— that new pinion hurt a little,
but it would break in soon —
and Les sat back, easing, and
truck, even joined the comfortable, un-
too worried motor hum.
GALAXY
 ” ” ” ”

T ike all affectionate brides, “I know what every real, hon-

' beautiful or otherwise, when est-to-goodness woman wants.
their husbands come home half a Let’s let the menu wait, because
day Thalia was flattered
early, every real, honest-to-goodness
and coy, then concerned when he man wants what every real, hon-
abstractedly pecked her only est-to-goodness woman — ”

once to her dozens of kisses on She wriggled out of his arms.

the face and mouth and ears and “And with me going frantic? I
neck, then relieved when he told was going to phone you to pick
her he wasn’t sick, and finally de- up those dietetic foods and bring
lighted because now he could them home with you tonight.
help plan the menu for tonight. Now we’ll have to get a special
“Menu?” he repeated. messenger.”
“The Fitches are coming for “Yeah,” he said. “It’s frus-
dinner.” trating,but you’re right. Why
“Fitch? Fitch good God— — can’t Miss Zeichner —
he has seventeen stores if I — “Oh, she’ll learn, darling. Just
get the account —
what do you give her time.”
mean, menu? Cavier, bluepoints, “Hah!” he said. “Why, you
vichysoisse, filet mignon, breast wouldn’t believe it, but — ”

of guinea hen — “The menu,” she told him

“Darling,” she said. “Mr. firmly. “And the messenger.”
Fitch has an ulcer.”
“Ulcer,” said Les. “Milk and ti'V^ell, look, damn it,” Les
crackers. Cottage cheese.” ’argued the next morning,
“What about that new line of waiting for an elevator with Tha-
dietetic food you said you could lia in the Medical Building. “Just

tie up if you only had the out- because I didn’t get the Fitch ac-
lets?” count is no reason to haul me to a
“Hey!” he cried. “Why’d I psychiatrist!”
have to go marry you and lose “Lower your voice. People are
the best office manager I ever looking,” she shushed. “It isn’t

had?” that and you know it, darling.”

“Because it was one or the oth- .
“You mean Mrs. Fitch’s watch?
er. Well, there were two damaged
He gave her a dirty grin. jewels in it!”
“Well, I was tired of being a “But to take it off her wrist
working girl,” she 'said defen- right in the middle of dinner and
sively. “Every real, honest-to- go racing out in search of a jew-
goodness woman wants — eler at that time of night —
INSIDE MAN 75
 “I got one, didn’t I? And he as they do, living by the Golden
saw the cracked one on the top Rule, which is more than I can
and put up a battle when I hold say —
him about the chipped one under- “Mr. Shay?” inquired the
neath, but he took the watch nurse-receptionist at the desk.
apart and sure enough — “You may go right in. Dr. Hyde
“Yes, darling. I know. That’s is expecting you.”
not what’s important.” “Dr. Hyde,” snarled Les. “I
The elevator door opened and bet he’s got a silent partner
they got in. named Mr. Jekyll.”
“Then what is?” challenged He flung open the door and
Les. slammed it shut behind him.

She glanced at the elevator

operator and whispered, “What VYT^ith his hands behind his
you told me after Mr. Fitch said head, Les lay staring up at
they couldn’t wait any longer the ceiling, blinking once a min-
for you to get back and to send ute. Thalia inchwormed rapidly
the watch —
Les! You’re not toward him until her head was
listening!” under his chin.
But he was. He was listening “Darling?” she said in a very
very hard. little voice.
“The poor thing,” he said, He
breathed slightly harder on
shaking his head sadly. her hair to show he was paying
She looked around. Except for attention.
the operator, they were alone in “You know, we’ve only been
the elevator. married three months,” she said,
“Who?” she asked. “and already we act as if we’d
“The elevator. When are peo- grown old and gray together.”
ple going to learn that too much “Uh,” he told her.
oil —” “Well, I don’t feel old and
“That’s what I mean, darling.” gray.” She paused. “Do you?”
She guided him across the cor- “Um,” he elaborated.
ridor and opened the door to a “You just lie there,” she cried
waiting room. Shakily she said. angrily. “Don’t you give one
“Now there isn’t a thing to worry single, solitary thought to how
about.” — how undesirable it makes me
“Oh, no?” he snapped. “With feel?”
imbeciles and bunglers torment- He
forced his throat to move,
ing defenseless machines that ask then his tongue, finally his lips.
nothing more than to be done by “You’re not.”
76 GALAXY
 “Then what —
” She stopped, shouted. “I loved that bike! And
was silent for a long moment. not only that, I didn’t even think
“I’m a heel,” she said against his once of an Erector set till Dr.
chest. “You’re trying to digest Peabody suggested 1 take up a
what Dr. Hyde said to you to- hobby!” He waited. “Go ahead,
day.” say it — I repressed the whole

Les sat up abruptly with his thing, didn’t I?”

back against the headboard, one “That’s what Dr. Hyde said,
stiff forefinger stabbing repeated- darling.”
ly at the mattress. “Not digest. “All right, smart guy, see v.?hat
Regurgitate.” you make of this. I told him the
“It made sense to me, darling.” truth, every bit of and he says
it,

“What? That I wanted to kill hallucinations. So say oh, yeah,

I

my father for me an
not buying what about the water cooler over
Erector set?” in the corner and he says what
“Well, didn’t you?” about the water cooler. And I
“Of course not! And why not tell him there’s a tiny leak in the

my mother, too? She had just as refrigerating coil and he takes

much to do with me not getting
it as he did.”
“The Oedipal situation.”
“And if 1 say she loused me up
more than Dad ever did, you’ll
agree with Hyde that I’m dis-
placing or something. Oh, no.
You’re not catching me in that
no-exit trap. Besides, Dad bought
me a bike right afterward
had a hell of a lot more fun with
it than I’d have gotten out of an
Erector set. Mom had plenty to
say about the danger of riding a
bike in the city, but he trusted
my judgment and bought one
just the same.”
“Infantilizing you, darling,”
she said gently, “instead of help-
ing you learn to accept inevitable
frustrations.”
“Who was frustrated?”
INSIDE MAN
a look, only the crack is too small
to see, but in a month or two
they’ll have to seal it up and put
in more refrigerant, you wait and
see if they don’t.”
“And in the meantime?” she
asked. “We can’t have you go
around in this nervous state.”
“I know,” he said miserably.
and I “The rheostat on the electric
mixer is calibrated wrong, the
oil burner is feeding too fast, the
bulb in the hall is about ready
to blow, we got a lemon of a
pre-amp in the hi-fi, the turn-
table is almost a full rpm too
slow, and I bet there’s going to
be a pip of a smashup on the
highway —I don’t like the way
the traffic light feels.”
“Feels?”
he “Yes,” he said flatly. “Feels.”
77
 “Darling?” she started again.
“Urn.”
“You know you’re only person-
alizing these things the way you
did when you were so awfully
disappointed about the Erector
set.”
“Sure, sure.”
“It’s just a matter of accepting
that emotionally.”
“I’m working on it.”
“And you need your
don’t
mother any more. You have me.”
He rolled out of bed. “I never
thought of that,” he said, and
began unbuttoning his pajama
top.
“Darling, what have you got
in mind?” she asked, wide-eyed.
“Taking a walk to clear my
head. You and Hyde have all the
explanations. Without the two
of you to confuse me, maybe I
can find the answers.”
hiUed and tired, Les wandered
C into Mike’s All Nite Garage.
Mike jMDked his head out from
under a car on the grease pit and
asked, “Do something for you,
Mr. Shay?”
“No,” said Les. “You fix them
instead of ruining them.”
“That’s how I make my living,”
Mike said cheerfully. “If they
didn’t ruin ’em, I wouldn’t have
’em to fix.”
Les, about to retort in sudden
rage, sat down on a fender in-
stead and thought about Mike’s
78
philosophy. It was as if dentists
hired thugs to bash in people’s
teeth so there would always be
work, or veterinarians poisoned
animals just enough to need
treatment. He decided he didn’t
like Mike’s reasoning. He also
decided not to argue about it;
he was tired of strange looks and
counter-arguments.
Mike climbed out of the pit,
wiped his hands on a ball of dirty
cotton waste and got into the car
to start the motor. He cocked his
head like a music critic listening
first to one section of the orches-
traand then the other.
“Sounds pretty good,” he pro-
nounced.
“The generator,” said Les.
Mike frowned. “What about
the generator?”
“It’s undercharging.”
“Hell it is!”
“Hell it isn’t.”
Mike glanced at the needle and
winked. “So, okay, more busi-
ness.” Then he scowled at Les.
“How’d you know it was under-
charging?”
“It’s a long story. You have
any more jobs tonight, Mike?”
“Nope. Why?”
“You’ve got a bunch of cars
on the lot. I’ve got ten bucks to
either prove or disprove some-
thing. Deal?”
“Deal,” said Mike, leading the
way out to the lot.
By the seventh car, Mike was
GALAXY
quiet and thoughtful. Les had “Then the answer is very sim-
found only one that murmured ple.” stated the Prof. “Telepa-
tranquilly and when he stated thy.”
what was wrong with each, and '^Telepathy!”
Mike checked, Les had pinpoint- “Of a very highly specialized
ed the trouble exactly. variety.” The Prof looked hope-
“Well, how do you account fully at Les. “Is the full explana-
for that?” Les wanted to know. tion worth the price of a drink?”
Mike did some meditative “I’ll say!” exclaimed Les.

scratching. “I go by ear myself,

Mr. Shay. I can listen to a motor ^y^halia opened red eyes and
and tell pretty near what’s wrong. watched Les pick his way
You just got a better ear than across the uncluttered floor to
me, that’s all.” the closet.
“And when the mo-
it isn’t “Well?” she said. “Did you find
tor? A lot of things in the body your answers?”
and chassis didn’t squeak or rat- “Ah —you bet,” said Les,
tle.” carefully dropping his clothes to
“Yeah,” said Mike. “I was the floor.
thinking about them. I can’t fig- “In a bottle.”
ure it out.” “Over a bottle. With the most
“I can,” another voice said. profound —
makes your Dr.
Les leaped. A solemn face Hyde sound —
listening with the
with a slight stubble and a greasy third ear when he should be using
homburg was leaning out of a all three!”
car window. “Okay, go on,” she said re-
“Sorry, Prof,” said Mike. “I signedly.
didn’t mean to wake you. Prof, “Nothing to it. I’m a specia-
Mr. Shay. I let the Prof sleep list.”

in the cars, provided he takes his “A specialist?”

shoes off and keeps his hat on.” He sat down on the bed to
“My pleasure, Mr. Shay,” an- tangle with his shoelaces. “A
nounced the Prof. born mechanic.”
“H-hello,” said Les. “You did “Now look here, Lester Shay!
say you could figure it out?” If you think you’re going to give
“No mystery at all,” the Prof up a perfectly good business to
said. “Can you do this only with go rummaging around in cars
—
automobiles or all kinds of ma- “Don’t have to,” he answered
chinery?” peacefully. “Just gotta harden
“All kinds.” myself. That’s what the Prof says.
INSIDE MAN 79
 ” ”
He’s not really a professor, only
talks that way because he claims
it intimidates people.”
“A bum!”
‘‘No, sweetheart. A different
kind of specialist. Damn shoe-
laces!” He snapped them and
kicked his shoes across the room.
‘‘His notion is that evolution al-
ways starts with simple, general
types and works up to highly
specialized ones.”
“Like born mechanics!”
He
smiled delightedly. “That’s
it.Or born mathematicians. Or
born laborers. Or born artists,
salesmen, farmers — well, you can imagine.”
“Bums.”
“Oh, just the very, very, very,
good ones,” he corrected her
owlishly. “The others work at it,
but they’re not specialists. Way
he puts it, the difference is in the
degree of success.”
“And,” she said, “you’re a bom
mechanic.”
“Right, Just never got a chance
to start. Better this way, though.
You see, I know what machines
feel because I feel it, too. If I’d
been doing that all these years,
I’d be nothing but nerves. A lot
of people don’t treat machines
right, you know. Feeling how the
machines suffer would put me in
just as bad shape as they are.”
She sat up interestedly. “This
Prof of yours sounds bright. Did
he tell you how to get rid of
your —
your — needs cleaning so badly
80
”
“Affliction, darling. It’s like
when a surgeon goes down the
street and he sees people in dras-
tic need of operations and can’t
do anything about it. Couldn’t
club them, haul them away to
the hospital, operate on them,
could he?”
“No, of course not.”
“So he has to steel himself. Or
take the gardener who feels what
flowers feel. And grass. Srubbery.
He has to cut the flowers, mow
the lawn, clip the hedges. If he
felt every slash into every bit of
vegetation, weeds included —
She thought. “Yes, I think I
can. And what about you, darl-
ing?”
“Same thing. Steel myself. The
Prof says I can’t take care of
all the machines in the world and
he’s right. So I gotta shut out
the cries and groans and moans
of the machinery. You see?”
“I see, but can you do it?”
she asked worriedly.
“Diversion does the trick. If I
receive, I just make sure I re-
ceive something else. The Prof
suggested trying people. So I did,
down at the tavern.”
“How did you make out?”
“Noisy damned place,” he
said. “And full of alcoholic
thoughts. But I concentrated and
it blanked out the screeching fan
and the pump in the cellar that
—
GALAXY
 “People’s thoughts,” said Tha- “Mm-fiumm. Your radiator is

lia uneasily. “I don’t know if I boiling over.”

like that. I know I wouldn’t feel “What a crude way to put it!”
comfortable around you.” He continued standing there,
He plumped up the pillow, ac- his gaze gone remote and unsee-
cidentally dropped it on the floor, ing.
tired to decide whether to pick “Well?” Thalia asked ir-

it up, realized he would fall on ritably. “How’s your radiator?”

top of it. “That’s what I’m trying to find
“Doesn’t work that way at all, out,” he replied in a distant voice.
sweetheart. It’s ” He hunted — “And?”
for an analogy. “It comes out “It’s percolating a little,” he
likemachinery.” answered.
“Like what?” she exclaimed. She threw the covers aside.
“Here, maybe I can show you.” “Come on, get in,” she said. “It’s
He stood beside the bed and better than nothing.”
gazed down searchingly at her. H.L. — GOLD

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INSIDE MAN 81
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82
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83
f©i-

Sfour
information

BY WILLY LEY
FIFTEEN YEARS OF GALAXY -
THIRTEEN YEARS OF F.U

G
column
alaxy Magazine is 15 years
old with this issue, but my
even though was
is not, I
represented in Vol. I. No. 1. It
was an article on Flying Saucers,
written at the editor’s request
and then considerably shortened
by the same editor —
but I no
longer recall just what it was he
snipped out. Flying Saucers were

84
a recent (phenomenon) at the
time, stories about them had
been in the daily press for about
three years running. And while
three years of stories without the
faintest bit of evidence that
would be considered as such in
a court of law made me quite
doubtful, one could not yet dis-
miss the whole thing.
did not say so in print, but
I deception and so all the way
I had
a nagging feeling that the
“saucers” would turn out to be
something like the case of the
“Washington D.C. hair fetishist”
that occupied space in the Wash-
ington newspaper at the same
time when the first flying saucer
report from Boise, Idaho, made
the front pages of the same
newspaper which I read
great astonishment while sitting
in the street car that brought me
to my laboratory in College
Park, Maryland, every morning.
What happened was this:
turned up at the police station
(or at the newspaper office.
don’t know which, since
I paid
no attention to the report)
first
claiming that somebody had cut
off a heavy strand of her beauti-
ful blonde hair while she was
riding one of these self-same
street cars during the morning
rush hour. The police had hardly
started an investigation, when
another girl told the same story.
Two days later a third incident
occurred. I don’t know at what
FOR YOUR INFORMATION
point the police grew suspicious,
the newspapers did at about the
seventh case, when the assailant
was described as a young blond
—
man but the damage he ha;l
done was hard to sVe.
That girl then admitted that
she only had wanted Co get her
picture into the newspaper. Then
the “case” before her admitted
back to the first case where the
loss of hair had been due to an
accident —
with the afterthought
that it should be exploited in
some way.
"VTow, eighteen years after the
^ first saucer report in
flying
the Washington papers and fif-
with teen years after my article in the
first issue of Galaxy I see a great
deal of similarity in the two per-
formances.
During the second year of
a girl Galaxy’s existence I contributed
a few scattered articles, one on
I the “Loon” missile which then
received a great deal of publicity
(in retrospect I fail to see why),
one on the African aardvark and
one on the “meteoric procession”
of February 9, 1913.
The last one, I admit, was
written for the purpose of point-
ing out that there can be very
strange displays in the sky that
have perfectly natural causes. Of
course, neither efficient aircraft
nor atom bombs existed in 1913,
85
hence people seeing something
unusual had less reason to be-
come jittery.
The first regular column ap-
peared in the March issue of 1952,
the idea that I should write a
regular column, ranging at ran-
dom overthe whole field of
science, originated with Horace
L. the first editor. The
Gold,
overall title of the column, I was
told, was suggested by Theodore
Sturgeon. Everything else was up
to me, except that there was a
rule in the beginning, that my
column should resemble a news-
paper column in that it consisted
of a number of short items. And
since Galaxy did not carry a reg-
ular “letters to the editor” fea-
ture, the letters containing scien-
tific questions were shunted to
me for incorporation in the col-
umn. As regular readers know, I
still answer such letters in
column if I feel the answer might
be of general interest; provided,
of course, that I know the an-
swer. But “answerable” letters
do not come in frequently; the
majority of the letters I receive
either ask questions that have no
answer (e.g. “what are quasars”)
or else the answer is not likely
to be of general interest, as for
example the title and publication
date of a book my correspondent
remembers incompletely.
But let me backtrack a bit to
the scientific news events that
86
were recent when Galaxy was
started. There was, of course, the
“atom bomb” as it was then call-
ed, <-he fission bomb as we call it
now. To people who knew some-
thing about atomic energy it was
clear that the fusion or hydrogen
bomb would follow its devel- —
opment was then ordered by
President Truman in January
1950.
Two recent astronomical d>s-
coveries had been made by the
same American astronomer, Ger-
ard P. Kuiper. They were the
fifthmoon of Uranus which he
had named Miranda (1948) and
the second moon of Neptune
which he had named Nereid
(1949).
'^he active space age was still
five years in the future when
Vol. I., No. 1. of Galaxy appear-
my ed on the newsstands. Few
people knew at the time that
space had already been reached,
namely by Bumper No. 5 on Feb-
ruary 24, 1949. The rocket had
been the fifth in a series of eight
two-stage liquid fuel rockets, the
first stage being an ex-German
V-2, the upper stage a AC-Cor- W
poral rocket developed in Cali-
fornia. The upper stage reached
a total altitude of 250 miles. It
cannot be said that actual satel-
lite plans of any kind existed at
the time. A few years earlier
Arthur C. Clarke had suggested
GALAXY
the possibility of “Extra-terres-
trial Relays”, as he called them,
in an article in the British Mag-
azine Wireless World. These re-
lays were three satellites in the
24-hour orbit — three “syncoms”
as they would now be called. But
this was mainly a suggestion
pointing out what might be done
in the future, it was not a detail-
ed plan. I am hanpy to report
that Arthur C. Clarke, after the
first actual communications satel-
liteshad been put into orbit, re-
ceived the Gold Medal of the
Franklin Institute for his sug-
gestion.
But the actual satellite plans
came several years later, around
19.53. Wernher von Braun’s con-
cept of a wheel-shaped manned
space station received most of
the publicity. I devoted two
columns to the space station con-
cept (April and May 1953 and
then again in December 1962).
It is still a good concept and I
feel still confident that we’ll build
a space station of this kind at
about the time of the first band-
ing on the moon or soon after-
wards. The first satellite project
that was actually carried out,
though with endless delay and
countless heartaches, was, of
course. Project Vanguard, to
which the column in the Sep-
tember, 1956 issue was devoted.
The first astronomical discov-
ery after Galaxy existed was that
FOR YOUR INFORMATION
of the twelfth moon of Jupiter
(J-XII) by Seth B. Nicholson on
September 29, 1951, before my
column existed. But it was re-
ported in my column in the Au-
gust issue of 1952. In 1954 he
eighth moon of Jupiter (J-VIII)
that had been “lost” was re-
discovered with the aid of high-
speed computers, but I had to
pass this one up because I did
not learn about it until about
a year later.
All along I had to keep in
mind that considerable time
would go by between the writing
of a column and its appearance
on the newsstands. Even when
Galaxy was still on a monthly
schedule that time interval was
seven weeks — and seven weeks
would have required a special
effort on the part of everybody,
a twelve week interval was clos-
er to normal. Hence I was never
able to pay much attention to
“nev/s” for by the time they could
have appeared in Galaxy every-
body had read about them. That
long interval between writing
and publication caused a few
other complications too. Once,
for example. I had prepared a
piece on new manipulating de-
vices, steel fingers that could not
only handle red-hot metal or
strongly radioactive substances
but could also perform feats of
strength simultaneously if their
operator desired. I had even ob-
87
tained a set of half a dozen pho- though “passive” Echo satellite.
tographs. But about three days By the time such results be-
before sending the material to came known, another active com-
the editor, Life Magazine devoted munications satellite had been
several of its pages to the same thrown into orbit. Always keep in
device, needless to say with color mind that I could not just wait,
pictures. If I had gone ahead I still had to produce a column
with my ownpiece it would have per issue and sometimes a sub-
been the coldest of cold hash (or ject needed two successive col-
at least would have looked that umns. So the article on communi-
way) so I put my photographs cations satellites languished while
away for filing and wrote a dif- other columns (equally interest-
ferent column in a hurry. ing, I hope) saw the light of
day. By the time I looked at my
'T^he fact that Galaxy is not a folder on this subject again, Tel-
weekly —
for which I am star I was orbited, got front page
quite grateful, otherwise —
also articles everyplace and a double-
saw to it that a few articles never spread in Life. Then I gave up,
got written at all. There was one by now communications satellites
I remember: a nice thorough had become so thoroughly known
piece on communications satel- to the public that there was no
lites, carefully explaining their use wasting space in Galaxy on
purpose, the way they worked, them.
the orbits they should be in and The same story was repeated
so forth. By the time I had block- at a somewhat later date with
ed out the piece itself and made masers and lasers. To my knowl-
a few diagrams. Echo I was put edge this is the first time these
into orbit and was clearly visible words are mentioned in my col-
to everybody. Now this required umn, but once they were intend-
an additional section on “passive” ed to be a column. But the
communications satellites, those maser-laser story exhibited a
that only reflect radio waves strong kinship to the behavior of
without amplifying them. Natur- the mythological Hydra. Cut off
ally I had to wait for some re- one head and two new ones will
sults, nobody was quite sure at grow. This is a gratifying thing
the moment how the perform- as far as progress is concerned,
ance of the early and naturally but it can prevent a man from
primitive “active” communica- finishing an article he had in
tions satellites would compare mind.
with that of the much bigger, While I could not hope to keep

88 GALAXY
up with a rapidly developing
story, such as the space age with
its hundreds of satellites, dozens
of space probes and multiple
spurts of development in all pos-
sible directions, an addition to an
older discovery is often a fine
starting point for a survey. This
is especially the case if the older
discovery is of the cliff-hanger
type, of which Latimeria was the
prime example of the first half
of the twentieth century.
A few days before Christmas,
1938, a very strange fish had
been brought ashore by a com-
mercial fishing vessel at the port
of East London on the east coast
of South Africa. The fish was
large-mouthed, bright blue in
color, about four and a half feet
long and had strangely shaped,
very powerful fins. The captain
of the trawler had never seen
anything like this and neither had
Miss M. Courtenay-Latimer, the
museum. She
curator of the local
wrote to ProfessorJ. L. B. Smith
at Rhodes University in Gra-
hamstown. South Africa, who was
an expert on the marine fishes
of the area.But there were de-
lays, when Prof. Smith finally
got to East London, the internal
organs of the fish had to be
thrown out for very natural rea-
sons —
by now Miss Courtenay-
Latimer would probably be able
to drop it into a tank of liquid
FOR YOUR INFORMATION
nitrogen and keep it, intestinal
bacteria and all, nearly indefin-
What was left was enough
itely.
to convince Prof. Smith that a
most unusual discovery had been
made. It was one of the fishes
known to paleontologists as coe-
lacanth, a group that had been
believed to be extinct for at least
50 million years.
The discovery was exciting for
more than one reason. It was not
only a “long extinct” form, it was
also unusual in being much larger
than any coelacanth known. The
fossils usually measured only
eight inches in length. A twelve-
inch coelacanth was a big one
and one incomplete fossil indi-
cated an over-all length of twen-
ty inches. The living version was
which had
fifty-five inches long,
been the main reason why Prof.
Smith had been doubtful about
the sketch that had been enclos-
ed in the letter he had received
from Miss Courtenay-Latimer.
The shape had suggested coela-
canth and nothing else, but the
measurements had spoken against
that conclusion. (After the Sec-
ond World War was over, a
sixty-inch fossil coelacanth came
to light in West Germany.)
Professor Smith named the
fish Latimeria chalumnae, the
species name was derived from
the name of the river that emp-
ties intothe ocean at East Lon-
don. Naturally he wanted a fresh
89
specimen. But he ran into two
kinds of trouble. The first one
was that the Second World War
was underway and most people
had other worries than supposed-
ly extinct fishes, no matter how
rare and how important to
science. The second was that
Smith had distributed his thou-
sands of leaflets with a picture
of the fish, a description and an
offer of reward, in the wrong
area. It so happens that the first
specimen caught had strayed
southward from its normal habi-
tat by about 1,800 miles. Nor-
mally it can be found around the
Comores Islands and the second
specimen was found there, again
just before Christmas, in 1952.
Now, that the normal habitat
was known, the waiting time
shrank; the third specimen was
caught in September 1953 and
the fourth in January 1954. Since
the Comore Islands are French,
French scientists took over and
published preliminary reports on
their observations and then a
reasonably comprehensive popu-
lar report became possible. It ap-
peared in the May, 1956, issue of
Galaxy.
'"T^he year 1954 did not only
bring additional information
on the fish Latimeria, it also solv-
ed, in a rather unexpected man-
ner, an older puzzle. During the
years from 1908 to 1915 fossil
90
bones had been found in southern
England, near a place called Pilt-
down. In the end they produced
a human skull, hailed as one of
the earliest inhabitants of Eng-
land named Eoanthropus daw-
sonii, or Dawson’s Dawn Man.
In 1954 British paleontologists
proved conclusively that the
Dawn Man had been a hoax. The
upper part of the skull actually
was human and even fossil, but
not particularly old. Now, that it
is known what it is one may say
of it that it does not present
either a puzzle nor an insight.
The lower jaw was the hoax, it
was the jaw of an ape, almost
certainly of an Orang-Utan. The
whole jaw had been made to look
and feel fossil with considerable
skill and especially the teeth had
been filed and otherwise treated
to lose their pronounced apish
character and to look like the
worn teeth of a primitive human.
It must have been the work of
many months to accomplish this
and one can only wonder why
some people devote so much
work and so much skill to such
agob. If a painter spends a year
painting a “lost old master” and
another year in “aging” the
painting so that he can sell it at
a high price his behavior is un-
-ethical, despicable and criminal;
but one can at least see the rea-
son! But whoever changed the
Orang-Utan jaw around neither
GALAXY
reaped reward nor questionable Piltdown manin with other fossil
fame. humans and pre-humans, hut
Of course it had been just the naturally without any good re-
combination of a fairly modern sult. German authors did the
skulltop and a most primitive- same and one or two of them
looking lower jaw which had voiced a suspicion. It was not
made Piltdown man such a scien- the suspicion of forgery (nobody
tific puzzle. As soon as the fact thought of that) but possibly it
that it was a forgery had been was a fossil ohne Beweiskraft, a
published, I started reading up fossil that did not prove anything.
on everything that had been writ- What they did was to ponder
ten about Piltdown man while it the possibility that Piltdown
was believed to be genuine. man, when alive, had not been
I could do most of this read- typical of its tribe but had been
ing at home because my library a freak.
is full of books on paleontology; If one started with the lower
a recent count revealed that I jaw one should expect a some-
own more books on paleontology what smaller skullcap of differ-
than on rockets, missiles and ent built. But possiblv just this
space travel — due. no doubt, to individual had an abnormally
the fact that paleontologists have large (for its type) skull. This
been around for a much longer did not necessarily make him a
time than space scientists and genius: even now a moron oc-
had more time to write. At any casionally has an extra large
event, the results were surpris- brain, a brain that is voluminous
ing. The French authors I con- 'but fails to function properly Or
sulted usually made short shift else, beginning with the skull and
of Piltdown man, just mention- considering the skull as normal
ing the characteristics and end- for its type, we had the bad luck

ing up with: “more investigation to find the remains of an indi-

is necessary”. In retrospect this
almost sounds as if they were
suspicious, but they probably
were just puzzled. An Austrian
expert. Prof. Othenio Abel, de-
voted a great deal of space to
Piltdown man, but ended up
with precisely the same sentence,
though in another language.
British authors tried hard to fit
vidual with a lower jaw that was
a throwback to a much earlier
type. Maybe, if the whole skele-
ton were known, some other de-
formities would be found.
The write-ups of Piltdown man
showed an extraordinary expen-
diture of words like “perhaps”,
“possibly”, “if one assumes”, and
so forth —quite naturally be-

FOR YOUR INFORMATION 91

cause the fossil in question was
not genuine, as finally proved by
the two British experts. But Pilt-
down man never had a column
devoted to him and I no longer
remember why not. I had all of
the material available, most of
it even at home. I can only con-
clude that something else which
I considered to be of more in-
terest to my readers got in the
way at the time. Or possibly I
felt that it had been sufficiently
covered elsewhere — people who
do articles for science-fiction
magazines are always aware that
their readers read many other
journals too.
\ nybody who sits back think-
ing about the scientific dis-
coveries of the last fifteen years
is likely to fall into the trap of
believing that most of them were
due to the space effort. True,
the space effort is responsible for
a number of them, among them
things nobody expected to find,
but this fifteen year period also
produced great strides elsewhere.
Not even all astronomical
the
discoveries are due to the space
effort.
Very early in 1956 — and the
active space age began late in
1957 if a reminder of the date
should be necessary Dr. Ger- —
ard P. Kuiper pointed out that
the unusual orbit of Pluto could
best be explained by assuming
92
that Pluto is a “run-away moon”
of Neptune. (The same sugges-
tion had been made in 1936 by
R. R. Lyttleton in England but
had failed to attract much atten-
tion.) This was an item I ex-
pected to remain confined to as-
tronomical journals, hence it was
written up in the column for the
August 1956 issue.
Another astronomical discov-
ery was made in the process of
being accomplished at the same
time by the discoverer of Pluto,
Dr. Clyde W. Tombaugh. But
this one was connected with the
space age. That there would be
artificial satellites soon, and prob-
ably both Russian and American,
was certain in 1955. Of course
they would have to be tracked
and one man even assumed that
our military men intended to
track the Russian satellites some-
what more carefully than our
own. But there was a possible
problem, hadn’t there been a
number of reports, never con-
firmed to be sure, about small
satellites of earth? If they really
existed they would confuse the
trackers. The thing to do was to
establish the orbits of such minor
satellites, they existed.
if
Clyde W. Tombaugh proposed
a method for such a search and
designed the necessary instru-
mentation which was not only
small enough to be carried on a
truck, but sensitive enough (in
GALAXY
a phrase that was to
famous) “to detect a white ten-
nis ball in orbit a hundred miles
from the surface, and a V-2
rocket, if painted white, at the
distance of the moon.” In 1957
his report was out, and I could
tell of the results of the search
in my column for the July, 1957,
issue. The result had been nega-
tive, there were no minor satel-
lites of earth so that anything
that could be detected and track-
ed had to be artificial.
Two other astronomical dis-
coveries also have no direct con-
nection with the space age. One
is the diseovery of the mysterious
“quasi-stellar objects”, something
that was quickly shortened to
“quasars” without improving our
understanding of them. The dis-
covery of the quasars was the
result of radio astronomy. And
the most recent discovery, an-
nounced only four days prior to
my writing this, is the result of
using radar techniques. It is the
discovery that planet Mercury
does not have a period of rota-
tion of 88 days, as Giovanni Vir-
ginio Schiaparelli had announced
in 1889. The orbital period
days and Schiaparelli’s announce-
ment therefore meant that Mer-
cury always points the same
hemisphere toward the earth. The
outcome of Schiaparelli’s an-
nouncement had been several
fascinating concepts: the scorch-
FOR YOUR INFORMATION
become ed “brightside” with puddles of
molten lead and tin, the perma-
nently frozen “darkside” where
the remains of the former atmo-
sphere of the planet lay frozen
on the ground and, last but not
least, the interesting “twilight
belt” where the sun appeared
above the horizon for a few days
every 88 days.
XTow it is known that Mercury
^ rotates a little faster than
once every 88 days, the preli-
minary figure is 65 days. But
that means that the sun shines
on every part of Mercury’s sur-
face for a fairly long time. No
more permanently nearly red-hot
brightside, no more permanently
frozen darkside. And no more
twilight belt. Mercury is still a
most inhospitable planet, but it
has lost the distinctive features
we thought were there.
Of course some of the major
discoveries are the outcome of
putting instruments into space.
The first big discovery was that
of the inner Van Allen belt in
1958, accomplished by Explorer I,
the first American artificial satel-
is 88 lite which, incidentally, is still in
orbit. Later the outer Van Allen
belt was found by another space
device. Then we have the first
determination of the thickness of
the cloud layer of Venus, its in-
credible height above the surface
of Venus and the measurement
93
of the very high surface temper-
ature of the planet, all carried
out by Mariner II. We have the
very sharp and detailed photo-
graphic close-ups of the surface
of the moon, produced by Ran-
gers VII, VIII and IX. And by
the time you read this we may
have some nice close-up photo-
graphs of Mars, transmitted over
more than sixty million miles of
space by Mariner IV.
Some of the very important
discoveries other than space can
only be mentioned here: increas-
ed (though still fragmentary)
understanding of the inner struc-
ture of the atom; vastly increas-
ed understanding (not yet quite
complete) of the basic mechan-
ism of life and especially of here-
dity; and the interesting
completely unexpected discovery
that at least the heaviest ones of
the so-called noble gases, namely
xenon and krypton, will form
chemical compounds, in spite of
At last!
RETIEFS
The galaxy's farthest-out diplomat takes on the wildest planet of
AN OUNCE OF EMOTION
ORIGIN OF SPECIES by Robert
These cHid many others
94
what every chemical handbook
has said for the last half century.
But many of the mysteries
that were written up at one time
or another in my column, are
still mysteries. Of the clouds of
Venus, we now know the extent,
but we still don’t know their
chemical composition, though the
top layer seems to consist of ice
crystals. The Red Spot of Jupiter
is still unexplained, the Gegen-
schein is still a mystery in spite
of (or rather because of) four
different explanations. We still
don’t know when and how ball
lightning will form. And the large
rotating “luminous wheels” of the
Indian Ocean certainly need
more investigation. And I refuse
to think about quasars until more
and is known. •
I suspect, however, that the
majority of these mysteries will
have been explained, not another
fifteen years from now but in
about five years. WILLY LEY —
Retief's first full-length novell
WAR
by Keith Laumer
all!
by Gordon R. Dickson
F. Young
in the October If — get your copy fodayl
GALAXY
A
Better Mousehole
by
Trouble with those blue bugs
was they didn't hurt you . .
they did something far worse/
o now Irma will be at
S do something about
blue bugs. I got to do something
about Irma.
Dr. West is wise too, as good as
said so when him and Judge Van
Anda was in today for a couple
beers. Pity Dr. West is not the
doctoring type doctor but just
has letters and stuff. Sort of ex-
plorer people say, account of his
Independent Income, gone for
months till the town’s forgot him
and then he turns up full of what
the buU was done with.
I don’t think the Judge knows
about the blue bugs. If they bit
him like they done me he’d never
go to dreaming, not him up there.
EDGAR PANGBORN
.
me to six feet five, (looking back at
them what he thinks the world used to
be. Still if you was old like him,
you might want big dreams more
than ever, about being young.
If you could te/I them bugs, if
you could name your own dream!
No way, I guess. I take the
dreams I can get.
Dr. West certainly knows
something. I’d no sooner drawed
them beers when he starts men-
tioning mice. I told him, Look, I
said, you do not see the Health
Department climbing all over my
back the way they would if I had
mice. He asks me, so what is that
hole in the floor below tlie liquor
shelves? I had to make like hunt-
95
ing for it, and act
Knothole, I says. Oh, knothole,
he says, knothole the regal twin-
cushioned back of my lap, how
come a knothole in linoleum? So
I had to say it could be mice.
Judge Van Anda says Ha.
went down the bar to pass the
I time with Lulu who doesn’t
get much business in the after-
noon because the light is too
strong. Lulu is like blonde this
week. If only I could tell the
bugs to put Lulu into a dream
with me! The only time they
done it she turned into Irma. I
can’t figure that.
What if Lulu got bit
some dreams herself?
suppose Irma thinks I mar-
I The tundra, says Dr. West
ried her so I can’t do nothing
without she comes clomping in
onto it? If she’s solid gold why
don’t she move to Fort Knox?
I had not hardly started talk-
ing to Lulu when Dr. West goes
to booming. Desolation, he says,
do you think you know what
desolation is? It’s the sub-Arctic
tundra, he says, and me alone
in that borrowed Cessna that
might’ve got its engine tuned
three or four months earlier, and
no reason to be there except my
itch to see more of the poor
wonderful planet before they
blow it up. Lulu, what do you
think? What do you say desola-
tion is?
96
surprised. Oh, she says, maybe the Sta-
dium, game over, crowd gone and
you know, empty popcorn bags
and match cards and spit.
You, Al? he says to me. What’s
desolation?
I said, oh, maybe a dark night
and nobody shows you where to
go. I believe Dr. West is sad in
his heart in spite of that educa-
tion which is over my head. It
would be like him to take off in a
borrowed plane for the flat side of
nowhere. * I like to watch him
standing by Judge Van Anda
who he is always telling siddown
siddown and the Judge merely
says Ha. I can feel sad without
and had no Independent Income. I am 42
and I have this ulcer.
—
a nothing of dun colors, rotting
snow, and you wonder when the
whole earth will look like that.
No! says Lulu about to cry.
Don’t talk thataway!
Never mind, chicken, he says,
I was just bleating.
uppose you took Irma to this
S here Tundra and told her to
walk home. Flies, she says last
night, flies all over you and you
drunk as a pig. God, I pretty near
shut her up for good. But she just
don’t know no better. She don’t
have too much of a life with a
busted-down hack like me that
couldn’t even last five rounds
with Willie Donohue.
GALAXY
 Dr. West went on about bor-
rowing a plane from a friend has
got this lodge in the north woods,
and flying over the tundra till he
saw like a blue spark down there.
Landed and picked up the ob-
ject, size and shape of a basket-
ball he said, not really blue, more
like daylight split and turned a
million ways. It hummed when
he held it to his ear. That’s when
he broke off to ask me is there a
basement under this part of the
bar.
He knows damn well it’s got no
basement. He was in town when
I added on. Al-
got this addition
ready a under the main
cellar
part, I need another, got
didn’t
this part done with merely the
footing and concrete under the
lino, I mean if there is any exca-
vation in forty miles Dr. West
will be there watching. It’s the
people with an Independent In-
come or them with not any that
get the excavation watched. Guys
like me that work for a living, we
are up that creek with a little bity
plastic spoon and no breeze.
All’s I said was Hell no, this
here is an addition was added on,
it’s got no basement.
Unless somebody walled it off
on you, says Judge Van Anda.
You won’t find a better way to
dispose of a body, the Judge
says, that’s if you have time and
materials and don’t mind the
labor. Well, the Judge is retired
A BETTER MOUSEHOLE
after forty years on what they
call the bench, and keeps saying
with his experience he ought to
write detective stories. Yes sir, he
says, if the walling off has been
done right, proper pains taken,
you can give the whole thing a
very attractive finish. I guess he
meant the wall. You never know,
with the Judge. I must of said
to him a hundred times. Look,
I’ve said, the surprising type
things that have happened to me,
you ought to put them into a
book if you’re going to write one.
He just goes hrrm hrrm and Ha.
I hated him sounding off about
bodies that way, account of Lu-
lu’s nerves. Before Dr. West be-
gun story Lulu was talking
his
to me
about that murderer over
to the one that
Lincolnsville,
done in his whole family with a
kitchen knife, and the shooting
down in Jonesburg a couple
weeks ago. She was real nerved
up. His whole family, and with a
plain kitchen knife. When the
cops come for him —Jesus, he
was like asleep, it said. Lulu takes
the news pretty personal, it’s the
woman of it.
T^r. West’s little blue eyes —
why, damn, they’re near
the same color as my bugs, like
sky with the sun caught in it.
Maybe the bugs are something
new to science that Dr. West has
to keep top secret? Then this
97
tundra story would be the edu- his bed, only a devil in him
cated crappola he’s obliged to couldn’t ever let him rest. And
shovel over it? His eyes are I have this ulcer.
bloodshot like mine have been The Bible or somebody says if
getting the last few weeks. I been you build a better mousetrap
losing weight too and it ain’t my they’ll like put you on teevy.
ulcer. The blood the bugs take All’s I got is a better mousehole.
out couldn’t make no such differ- What do they you for that?
give
ence, and them so gentle —I Dr. Lulu come
West waited till

float off into the dreams almost back from the Ladies to go on
as soon as they come settle on with his story. He wasn’t telling
me. it for her, though, spite of her

I’d give anything to have an-
other dream where Irma is like
when we got married, not bony
and mean but soft, brown hair
with all them goldy lights, voice
like country cream.
When Dr. West quit talking
coming to sit on the stool by him
and give him a feel or two for
friendship’s sake. Not for the
Judge neither. It was for me and
that hole in the floor. I could
of told him they never come out
till I close the bar and dim the

Lulu was crying. She says she lights.

feels sometimes like everything He said he smuggled the blue

was on top of her, usually goes ballhome, not a word to anyone.
to the Ladies and comes back As a story it wasn’t nothing,
with a rebuilt mouth and a fresh which is one reason I can’t be-
bounce to her. Lulu could put lieve he was making it up. He
her shoes in my trunk any time. kept calling the thing a sphere. I
She ain’t had a real happy life. always thought a sphere was
Aw, who does? For young peo- some type musical instrument.
ple it’s always a maybe-tomor-
row, for the rest, it’s where-did- "I l^hen he says home he means
everything-go? The Judge, he ^ ’ the ram-and-shackle man-
should be happy looking across sion at the edge of town with
all them years of playing God back land running up Ragged
and sticking people in jail? Dr. Rock Hill and Johnny Blood rat-
West never married, chases tling around in the mansion being
moonblink over the world with caretaker with one eye that used
his Independent Income, but to be an actor and still lets go
once he told me what he honestly with some Shakespeare if any-
craved was hearth and home, nice thing startles him. He said he
woman to warm his slippers and sent Johnny away for two
98 GALAXY
months vacation to this sister
in Maine who has been trying
to make Johnny come to Jesus
anyhow thirty-forty years, only
when Johnny hears that special
tone of voice he shuts the good
eye and lets go with something
from this Shakespeare.
I wish I had the education to
make with Shakespeare when
Irma is at me about talking to
Lulu or drinking up the profits
which I never could do with this
ulcer unless I would drop dead,
she never thinks of that, or why
don’t I at least try to earn
enough we would spend winters
in Florida if I had any zing.
Sent Johnny away, he says,
and kept the sphere at room tem-
perature. Dr. West is always
talking thataway. A room don’t
run temperature, or if he
a Oh, don’t get red-eyed about it,
means hot like some room what’s
so scientific if somebody mon-
keys with the thermostack or
leaves the God-damn door open?
Winter in Florida for Christ’s
sake.
The blue thing hatched one
night after he’d gone to bed — the mirror you’ll see you’re red-
except he says it was not an
egg but a figure of speech. He
found the two halves in the
morning not chipped like a hatch-
ed egg, just separated, like they’d
been fitted together originally so
good you couldn’t find the joint.
Nothing else disturbed, but a hole
in the window-screen that look-
A BETTER MOUSEHOLE
ed like it was melted through,
the ends of copper wire fused
so the hole looked like a grom-
met.
Judge Van Anda asked him
did he keep the busted eggshell.
Dr. West says. Now I did try to
make it plain it was not an egg,
nor do I know why I waste my
experiences on you, like when I
showed that comb my mermaid
gave meit could of been a paper
clip, the impression it made.
all
So it could, says the Judge kind
of brisk, seeing they make such
combs in Bridgeport and you can
buy them in any drugstore for
upwards of nineteen cents plus
tax. All right, says Dr. West, so
if she did happen on it in the
billows off Bridgeport, God damn
it,she gave it to me, didn’t she?
says Judge Van Anda.
’m not, says Dr. West. Al’s the
I one with bloodshot eyes, late
hours likely. He was watching
me real sharp. No sir, you too,
Sid, says the Judge, you look in
eyed like a weasel, I snow you
not. Now if you could have
brought home just one mermaid
And Dr. West says they do
scale.
not have scales, no more reason
to have scales than a seal or a
whale or any other ocean-dwell-
ing mammal. Ocean-dwelling
mahooha, says Judge Van Anda.
99
 And I suppose, says Dr. West,
back there ninety-six years ago
in the little red schoolhouse the
only biology you ever learned
was out in the bushes during re-
cess. Which was a friendly re-
mark because the Judge could
go hrrm reminding himself how
he wants you to think he used
to be. All the same I quick took
them another round of beers.
Lulu says, You got out of that
too easy. Doc. I remember she
pushed her shoulders back show-
ing what she has got. She could
put her shoes in my trunk any
time. She says, Do you still have
the eggshell or do you don’t?
I do not, says Dr. West. I do
not still possess the two halves
of that vehicle.
Well excuse me for living, says
Lulu, but she wasn’t mad. She
likes everybody, you could call
it a weakness.
And why don’t you? says the
Judge. As if I didn’t know.
Because, says Dr. West, I car-
ried them outdoors to see them
in the sun, was disturbed by the
telephone, set them down in a
thicket, answered the phone, at
which you bent my ear for a
half-hour about a detective story
you plan to start writing any
day. When I got back the two
halves were gone.
Naturally, says the Judge. Na-
turally.
Gone, says Dr. West, from a
100
patch of soft earth in the thicket
thatshowed no footprints.
Weleft it at that. Ever since,
I been thinking about it. Only
minutes now till closing time or
I would flip my lid.
Dr. West was not lying or he
would of done a mermaid story.
That don’t mean it was the whole
truth. How could anybody ever
tellthat like they say in the
law courts? Maybe the bugs bit
him before they went off through
the hole in the screen? One bite
would be enough to show him
what it does to you. Could we
sort of share them?
would like that. Something’s
I gentled me down lately. I got
no jealousy about him and Lulu
going off together like they done
this afternoon. I don’t seem to
have no angry feelings of no
kind except about drowning Irma
in the bathtub if it was practi-
cal. Aw, I guess I mean I might
make that type joke, a man
couldn’t do no such thing. Be-
sides it could be my fault Irma
is like she is. How about that,
Al?
Anyhow I’d sooner Lulu went
off with Dr. West than with say
this salesman looks like a shaved
pig and wants a beer.
Beer. Why
can’t they ask for
something unusual just once so I
would have to think about it
and stop thinking?
GALAXY
 Five minutes still to closing. things like that — it can’t mean
It was last night Irma found these bugs are —
me with my bugs and called won’t have a dream tonight
I
them flies. I bet she believes though. I won’t, till I can get a
that. It was the finest part of my real talk with Dr. West. Well,
dream — gone,
clobbered, and speak of the —
here’s Irma her nightgown
in
come down and turned on the ft has come to be morning, hot
light, standing there all bones and quiet outside in that gold-
and bad temper saying Drunk as en street. I better try to think
a pig, now I see where the profits through what happened, and
go, all down your gut. Her that what Dr. West said.
used to talk like a lady, and had When he come in at closing
them goldy her hair.
lights in time I seen he wanted talk same
Flies, she says, flies everywhere. as me. I told him stick around, I
She don’t know about the hole, closed up, doused the front
my better mousehole, or she lights, we carried a Jameson into
would poured cleaning fluid
of the back room. He flung down a
down it, and they would of come shot and said, I took Lulu up
out and fixed her little red wag- to my place. The Judge too.
on. I would not like that to hap- Johnny Blood’ll be gone another
pen. It’s funny how gentle I feel couple weeks, but I suppose may-
nowadays. I used to be what they be the Judge’ll be missed.
call a Ruffed Diamond. Missed? I says.
I guess Irma will have took He says, Don’t be like that, ,A1.
her twenty-year grouch to bed The Judge is asleep and dream-
bv now. Oh no, it wasn’t like that ing, Lulu is asleep and dream-
all of them twenty years, not by ing, and don’t you go acting sur-
no means —
but my Jesus, I’m prised on me, because I come
sunnosed to be some damn God- back to talk to you. Beat-up
nlmighty Apollo Valentino Rock- crocks like you and me, Al, he
efeller or I’m no good? I’m good says, we’re into middle age, we
in them dreams. I been seven can wait a mite longer for our
feet tall and bronzy, ready when- dreams, seeing we’ve spent mor’n
ever T said so. half a lifetime doing not much
There they go again about that else.
thing in Tonesburg where the While poured him another
I

lady shot up a radio-teevy store he said, it was Lulu brought

account she claimed the noise them back to me. I asked him
spoiled her dreams. Look — how come.
A BETTER MOUSEHOLE 101
 She didn’t do anything,
says, she’s just overweight with a
big blood pressure. They like
that. They must need the blood,
maybe to help them breed. Only
a couple dozen came out of that
sphere, but now they might have
several colonies. I wasn’t quite
truthful,he says I saw them — going through. He stepped over
come out, and a few of them
flew around me with things in
the fifth pair oflimbs that look-
ed likeweapons. While I held
still because of that, one of them
bit me and I dreamed a journey
to Alpha Centauri.
Maybe, he says, they always
do it merely to hold us quiet so
they can drink. Maybe it’s
lovingkindness.
I asked if it was true what
he’d told us about the halves of
the shell disappearing. Yes, he
said, and he said that afterward
he went searching and grieving
all over till one night he caught
a bluish gleam up on Ragged
Rock Hill. He went to it,
ing his way through the trees
with a flashlight to where he
thought it had showed, and set-
tled down to wait. Sure enough
they came and gave him a
dream. It breaks his heart too,
the way a man can’t name his
own.
''T^hey come for Lulu. AU we
did, he says, we turned off
the lights and set by the open
102
he window. Coming for Lulu be-
cause she’s right for them, they
took care of the Judge too, and
me. My dream was a short one,
Al. I don’t have much blood in
me.
He put down another Jame-
son while I told him what I been
to one of the other back-room
booths to pick something off the
floor. He’s a noticing restless
man. Just a buckle like a gold
rosebud off of a girl’s shoe. The
back room gets lively Saturday
nights, and I ain’t been sweeping
up too good, last couple-three
weeks. Only light I turned on for
from us was the 25-watt bulb in our
booth with the pink shade Irma —
chose them shades. They’re real
nice. You won’t find no God-
damn interior desecrator that’s
got taste like hers. Dr. West set
there playing with that gold rose-
bud and going slow on his Jame-
son while I talked.
work- And I asked him, where do
they come from?
Oh, he says, outer space, where
else? He was turning the buckle
in and out of the light, reflecting
a glow into the drink itself, a
kind of glory. And he says, or
else inner space.
I asked him did he think the
bugs had anything to do with
them killings. He just wiggled his
shoulders.
That’s when I said. Look,
GALAXY
couldn’t my Irma have a dream? light of the upstairs hall I seen
He give me no answer. I says, some of them goldy lights, I
maybe would change how she
it know I did.
acts and feels about some things? Dr. West had laid his head on
Maybe, he says. We don’t his arms. Small he was, and
know, he says, we don’t know clean as a dry stick, I don’t know
much of anything. More we why she would call him a dirty
know, better we get at asking old man. He hadn’t finished his
questions we can’t answer. Then Jameson. I thought he was hav-
he poured himself another Jame- ing a dream, for the bugs had
son and after a while I went up- eome, but he looked up and said,
stairs. I brought it on us, I brought it
Irma wasn’t asleep. When I on the world. I and some other
touched her shoulder she says, billions, he said. I don’t under-
God give me patience! and stand what he meant by that.
flounces clear acrost the bed. I Irma seen the bugs and she
says, Irma, honey, I ain’t after screamed. Only five-six of them,
you thataway, I just want you nothing scary. I put my arms
should come down talk some- around her to gentle her. Irma,
thing over with I and Doc West. I says, all they do is give you
West? she says. That dirty old beautiful dreams. I want you
man? What for? should have some like I’ve had.
I Irma, this is special,
says, Let ’em bite a little, it don’t
you give me lip I’m big enough hurt. But she screamed and tried
to make you. You get up and to fight me off. She said, I don’t
fling some
clothes on and you want to, I just want — I just
take that God-damn
cold cream want —
off your face and come down. I didn’t listen.So hell-bent
All’s we want is have a couple she should have dreams like
drinks, talk something over. mine, I didn’t listen. The way
she was perking around, the p-js
V^e//, she says, aren’t we the got twisted away from her little
^ ^ lord and master breasts, and I just hung on, too
all of a
sudden! You goddam right, I lame-brain dumb for anything
says, and get going. I didn’t say else. Them little things is like
that mean, nor she didn’t take it when she was a girl, I used to
mean, just wiped the guck off her kid her about what would the
face as meek as anything, put babies eat, only we never could
on slippers, and a bathrobe over have any. One bug lit there, and
her p-js, and come along. In the I just held her —
why, them bites

A BETTER MOUSEHOLE 103

don’t hurt, I got a hundred onto dream. It’s not right, it’s not
me, they don’t even itch. rightsome-way.
She didn’t scream again. I felt Dr. West said more, I can’t
a shock go through her and she just bring it back. I think he said,
said. Oh, oh, oh, a kind of cry- dreaming’s not a sickness but it’s
ing like what I used to hear in like one, partly. It made the
bed, and her with a voice like world what it is, different from
country cream. The bug flew off. ancient days, and it could un-
I found her mouth and kissed make it.

her. Her face sagged away from I asked him not to notify no
me and she was dead. one, just go away and leave us
I think Dr. West said, your be.
little lady, she’s asleep? People will figure the bar is
I carried her over to this closed, they’ll give us a bit of
lounge chair, sat here with her. time before they start crowding
I don’t know what to do. I re- in.
member Dr. West, he come over And there was something he
and stood by us, though I want- said about how things might even
ed him to go away. I know I said get better with the bugs taking
something about maybe some over, if that’s what they meant
people just couldn’t have such to do. I told him I didn’t care
dreams. much about the
world, all’s I
ever wanted was to have a de-
T Te says, maybe it’s that, or cent life with work I knowed how
maybe she dreamed more to do and a nice woman and
than us, Al. Maybe this thing maybe some kids. I guess that’s
gave her too big a dream for her when Dr. West went away. He’s
to stand. Dreaming’s a dangerous just a lonesome little guy trying
thing, he said, it’s got a dark to figure things out, I shouldn’t
side. If the bugs shoot in some- of spoke harsh.
thing that makes the dreaming See, it wasn’t like I was trying
part of us blaze up, the way the to make you have my dream.
rest of us can’t take it — You look like you was dream-
I told him I wasn’t going to ing. You look real sweet, I meant
try to understand it no more. I to tell you. I don’t know why I
said I ought to knowed you can’t couldn’t ever tell you.
make another person have a —EDGAR PANGBORN

T04 GALAXY
 THREE TO
A GIVEN STAR
by CORDWAINER SMITH

Illustrated by MORROW

They were the outcasts of Earth,

and Earth had given them a destiny

that fitted their terrible crimes I

I both of them caught from his

mind, riding clear and wise be-
CCCtick your left arm straight side them, a “sense of the situa-
^ forward, Samm,” said tion.” His “sense of the situa-
Folly. tion” could be summed up in the
He stretched his arm out. one-word comment, which he did
“I can sense it!” cried Folly. not need to utter;
“Now wiggle your fingers!” “Foolishness!”
Samm wiggled them. “It is not foolishness, Finster-
Finstemis said nothing, but nis,” cried Folly. “Here are the

105
threv! ot us, riding empty space niswas a perfect cube, fifty met-
millions of kilometers from no- ers to the side, packed with ma-
where. We
are people once, Earth chinery which could blank out a
people from Old Earth Itself. Is sun and contain its planets until
it foolish to remember what we they froze to icy, perpetual death.
used to be? I was a woman once. Samm was a man, but he was
A beautiful woman. Now I’m this a man of flexible steel, two hun-
— this thing, bent on a mission of dred meters high. He was de-
murder and destruction. I used to signed to walk on any kind of
have hands myself, real hands. planet, with any kind of inhabi-
Is it wrong for me to enjoy look- tant, with any kind of chemistry
ing at Samm’s hands now and or any kind of gravity: he was
then? To think of the past which designed to bring antagonists,
all three of us have left behind.” whomever they might be, the
Finsternis did not answer; his message of the power of man.
mind was blank to both of them. The power of man followed
. . .

There was nothing but space by terror, followed if necessary

around them, not even much
space dust, and the bluish light
of Linschoten XV
straight ahead.
From the third planet of that
star they could occasionally hear
the cackle and gabble of the
man-eaters.
Once again Folly cried to Fin-
sternis, “Is that so wrong, that I
should enjoy looking at a hand?
Samm has well-shaped hands. I
was a person once, and so were
you. Did I ever tell you that I
was a beautiful woman once?”
he had been a beautiful wom-
S an once and now she was the
control of a small
which fled across emptiness
by death. If Samm failed, Fin-
sternis had the further power of
blocking out the sun, Linschoten
XV. If either or both failed. Fol-
ly had the job of adjusting them
so that they could win. If they
had no chance of winning, she
then had the task of destroying
Finsternis and Samm, and then
herself.
Their instructions were clear:
“You will not, you will not un-
der any circumstances return.
You will not, you will not un-
der any conditions turn back to-
ward Earth. You are too danger-
ous to come anywhere near
spaceship Earth, ever again. You may live
if you wish. If you can. But you

with two grotesque companions. must not —

repeat not come —
She was now a ship only eleven back. You have your duty. You
meters long and shaped roughly asked for it. Nowyou have it.
like an ancient dirigible. Finster- Do not, come back. Your forms
106 GALAXY
fityour duty. You will do your Or, if needful, to put out that
duty.” particular sun.
Folly had become a tiny ship, Folly, who had become a ship,
crammed with miniaturized wa,- the most volatile of the
equipment. three.
Finsternis had become a cube She had been a beautiful wom-
blacker than darkness itself. an once.
Samm had become a man. but
a man differentfrom any which II
had ever been seen on Earth. He
had a metal body, copied from were a beautiful wom-
(,^'% 7'on
the human form down to the last an once,” Samm had said,
detail. That way the enemies, some years before. “How did you
whoever they might be, would be end up becoming a ship?”
given a terrible glimpse of the “I killed myself,” said Folly.
human shape, the human voice. “That’s why I took this name.
Two hundred meters high he Folly. I had a long
ahead of
life
stood, strong and solid enough to me, but I killed myself and they
fly through space with nothing brought me back at the last min-
but the jets on his belt. ute. When I found out I Vi/as still
The Instrumentality had de- alive, I volunteered for some-
signed all three of them. De- thing adventurous, dangerous.
signed them well. They gave me this. Well, I
Designed them to meet the asked for it, didn’t I?”
crazy menace out beyond the “You asked for it,” said Samm
stars, a menace which gave no gravely. Out in the middle of
clue to its technology or origin, nothing, surrounded by a tre-
but which responded to the sig- mendous lot of nowhere, courtesy
nal “man” with the counter-sig- was still the lubricant which gov-
nal, “gabble cackle! eat, eat! erned human relationships. The
man, man! good to eat! cackle- two of them observed courtesy
gabble! eat, eat!” and kindness toward one another.
That was enough. Sometimes they threw in a bit of
The Instrumentality took steps. humor, too.
—
And the three of them the ship, Finsternis did not take part in
the cube and the metal giant their talk or their companionship.
sped between the stars to con- He did not even verbalize his
quer, to terrorize or to destroy answers. He merely let them
the menace which lived on the know his sense of the situation
third planet of Linschoten XV. and this time, as in all other
THREE TO A GIVEN STAR 107
times, his response was “Neg- — to make their own away to the
ative. No operation needed. Com- danger.)
munication nonfunctional. Not Samm said, as he always did,
needed here. Silence, please. I kill “You were a beautiful woman.
suns. That is all I do. My part is Folly, but you wanted to die.
my business, not yours. My past Why?”
is my business. All mine.” This “Why do people ever want to
was communicated in a single die, Samm? It’s the power in us,
terrible thought, so that Folly the vitality which makes us want
and Samm stopped trying to so much. Life always trembles
bring Finsternis into the conver- on the edge of disappointment.
sations which they started up, ev- If we hadn’t been vital and
ery subjective century or so, and greedy and lustful and yearning,
continued for years at a time. if we hadn’t had big thoughts and

Finsternis merely moved along wanted bigger ones, we would

with them, several kilometers
away, but well within their range
of awareness. But as far as com-
pany was concerned, Finsternis
might as well not have been there
at all.
Samm went on with the conver-
sation, the conversation
they had had so many hundreds
of times since the planoform ship
had discharged them “near”
Linschoten XV
and left them to
make the rest of their way alone.
(If the menace were really a
menace, and if it were intelligent,
the Instrumentality had no in-
tention of letting an actual plan-
oform ship fall within the powers
of a strange form of life which
might well be hypnotic in its
combat capacities. Hence the
ship, the cube and the giant were
launched into normal space at
high velocity, equipped with jets
to correct their courses, and
have stayed animals, like all the
little things back on Earth. It’s
strong life that brings us so close
to death. We can’t stand the
beauty of it, the nearness of the
things we want, the remoteness of
the things that we can have. You
which and me and Finsternis, now, we’re
monsters riding out between the
stars. And yet we’re happier now
than we were when we were back
among people. I was a beautiful
woman, but there were specific
things which I wanted. I wanted
them myself. I alone. For me.
Only for me. When I couldn’t
have them, I wanted to die. If I
had been stupider or happier I
might have lived on. But I didn’t.
I was me —
intensely me. So here
I am. I don’t even know whether
I have a body or not, inside this
ship. They’ve got me all hooked
up to the sensors and the view-
left ers and the computers. Some-

108 GALAXY

times I think that I may be a
lovely woman still, with a real
body hidden somewhere
this ship, waiting to step
to be a person again.
Samm, don’t you want to tell me
about yourself? Samm. SAMM.
That’s no name for an actual
person —
Superordinated Alien
Measuring and Mastery device.
What were you before they gave
you that big body? At
stilllook like a person. You’re
not a ship, like me.”
“My name doesn’t matter. Fol-
ly, and if I told it to you, you
wouldn’t know it. You never
knew it.”
“How wouldn’t I know?” she
cried. “I’ve never told you my
THREE TO A GIVEN STAR
—
name either, so perhaps we did
know each other back on Old
inside Earth when we were still people.”
out and
And you, C4T can tell something,” said
Samm, “from the shape of
words, from the ring of thoughts,
even when we’re not out here in
nothing. You were a lady, per-
haps highborn. You were truly
beautiful. You were really im-
least you portant. And I— I was a tech-
nician. A good one. I did my
work and I loved my family, and
my wife and I were happy with
every child which the Lords gave
us for adoption. But my wife died
first. And after a while my chil-
dren, my wonderful boy and my
two beautiful, intelligent girls
109
my own children, they couldn’t
stand me anymore. They didn’t
like me. Perhaps I talked too
much. Perhaps I gave them too
much advice. Perhaps I remind-
ed them of their mother, who was
dead. I don’t know. I won’t ever
know. They didn’t want to see
me. Out of manners, they sent
me cards on my birthday. Out of
sheer formal courtesy, they
called on me sometimes. Now
and then one of them wanted
something. Then they came to
me, but it was always just to get
something. It took me a long time
mentality came along with this
warning, and I volunteered.”
“But you’re all right now,
Samm,” said Folly gently. “I’m a
ship and you are a metal giant
but we’re off doing work which
is important for all mankind.
We’ll have adventures together.
Even black and grumbly here,”
she added, meaning Finsternis,
“can’t keep us from the excite-
ment of companionship or the
hope of danger. We’re doing
something wonderful and impor-
tant and exciting. Do you know
what I would do if I had my life

to figure out, but I hadn’t done again, my ordinary life with skin
anything. It wasn’t what I had and toenails and hair and things
done or hadn’t done. They just like that?”
plain didn’t like me. You know “What?” asked Samm, know-
the songs and the operas and the ing the answer perfectly well
stories. Folly, you know them from the hundreds of times they
all.” had touched on this point.
“Not all of them,” thought Fol- “I’d take baths. Hundreds and
ly gently, “not all of them. Just hundreds of them, over again.
a few thousand.” Showers and dips in cold pools
“Did you ever see one,” cried and soaks in hot bathtubs and
Samm, his thoughts ringing rinsesand more showers. And I
fiercely against her mind, “did would do my hair, over and over
you ever see a single one about a again, thousands of different
rejected father? They’re all ways. And I would put on lip-
about men and women, love and stick, in the most outrageous col-
sex, but I can tell you that re- ors, even if nobody saw me, ex-
jection hurts even when you don’t cept for my own self looking in
ask anything of your loved ones the mirror. Now I can hardly re-
but their company and their hap- member what it used to be to be
piness and their simple genuine dry or wet. I’m in this ship and
smiles. When I knew that my I see the ship and I do not really
children had no use for me, I had know if I am a person or not any
no use for me either. The Instru- more.”
110 GALAXY
 Samm stayed quiet, knowing ship-self, which had seemed so
what she would say next. metal, so reliable, so inalterable.
“Samm, what would you do?” She threw a thought of inquiry
Folly asked. at Samm and instead got another
“Swim,” he said. command from Finsternis, Don’t
“Then swim, Samm, swim! think.
Swim for me in the space be-
tween the stars. You still have a Ill
body and I don’t, but I can
watch you and I can sense you amm floated like a dead man
swimming out here in the noth- S in his gargantuan body.
ing-at-all.” Folly drifted like a fruit beside
Samm began to swim a huge his hand.
Australian crawl, dipping his face At last there came words from
to the edge of the water as if — Finsternis
there were water there. The ges- “You can think now, if you
tures made no difference in his want to. You can chatter at each
real motion, since they were all of other again. I’m through.”
them in the fast trajectory com- Samm thought at him, and the
puted for them from the point thought-pattern was troubled
where they left the Instrumen- and confused: “What happened?
tality’s ship and started out in I felt as though the immaculate

normal space for the star listed grid of space had been pinched
as Linschoten XV. together in a tight fold. I felt you
This time, something very do something, and then there was
sudden happened, and, it hap- silence around us again.”
pened strangely. “Talking,” said Finsternis, “is
From the dark gloomy silence not operational and it is not re-
of the cube Finsternis, there quired of me. But there are only
came an articulate cry, called three of us here, so I might as
forth in clear human speech; well tell you what happened.
Stop it! Stop moving right Can you hear me. Folly?”
now. 1 attack. “Yes,” she said, weakly.
Both Samm and Folly had in- “Are we on course,” asked Fin-
struments built into them, so sternis, “for the third planet of
they could read space around Linschoten XV?”
them. The instruments, quickly F oily paused while checking all
scanned, showed nothing. Yet her instruments, which were more
Folly felt odd, as though some- compheated and refined than
thing had gone very wrong in her those carried by the other two,
THREE TO A GIVEN STAR 111
since she was the maintenance that this was unnecessary, since
unit. “Yes,” said she at last. “We the first motion toward return
are on course. I don’t
exactly would trigger destruction devices
know what happened, if anything which had been built into each
did happen.” of the three of them, beyond
“Something happened, all reach, beyond detection, beyond
right,” said Finsternis, with the awareness. When the Instrumen-
gratified savagery of a person “Do not come back,”
tality said,
whose quick-and-cruel nature is the Instrumentality meant it.
rewarded only by meeting and She said nothing.
overcoming hostility in real life.
She watched Finsternis instead.
“Was it a space dragon, like Something began to happen.
they used to meet on the old, old It was very odd.
ships?” Space itself seemed to rip and
“No, nothing like that,” said leak.
Finsternis, communicative for
In the visible band, the intrud-
once, since this was something
er looked like a fountain of water
operational to talk about. “It
being thrown randomly to and
doesn’t even seem to be in this
fro.
space at all. Something just rises
But the intruder was not water.
up among us, like a volcano com-
ing out of solid space. Something In the visible light-band, it

violent and wild and alive. Do
you two still have eyes?”
“Seeing devices for the ordi-
nary light band?” asked Samm.
“Of course we do!” said Fin-
stemis. “I will try to fix it
you will have a visible input.”
There was a sharp pause from
Finsternis.
The voice came again, with
much strain.
“Do not do anything. Do not
try to help me. Just watch.
wins, destroy me and destroy
yourselves very quickly. It might
try to capture us and get back
to Earth.”
Folly felt like telling Finsternis
112
glowed like wild fire rising from
a shimmering column of blue ice.
Here in space there was nothing
to burn, nothing to make light:
she knew that Finsternis was
phen-
translating unresolvable
so that
omena into light.
She sensed Samm moving one
of his giant fists uncontrollably,
in a helpless, childish gesture of
protest.
She herself did nothing but
watch, as alertly and passively
If it as she could.
Nevertheless, she felt wren-
ched. This was no material phe-
nomenon. It was wild unformed
life, intruding out of some other
proportion of space, seeking ma-
GALAXY
terial on which to impose its “What happened to it?” asked
vitality, its frenzy, its identity. Samm.
She could see Finsternis as a “I ate it,”said Finsternis.
solid black cube, darker than “You what?” cried Folly.
mere darkness, drifting right in- “I ate it,” said Finsternis. He
to the column. She watched the
was talking more than he ever
sides of Finsternis.
had before. “At least, that’s the
On
the earlier part of the trip,
only way I can describe it. This
since they had left the people
machine they gave me or made
and the planoform ship and had
been discharged in a fast tra-
me into or whatever they did,
it’s really rather good. It’s power-
jectorytoward Linschoten XV,
ful. I can feel it absorbing things,
Finsternis’ sides had seemed like
taking them in, taking them
dull metal, slightly burnished,
apart, putting them away. It’s
so that Folly had to brush him
something like eating used to be
lightly vdth radar to get a clear
image
when I was a person. That wild
of him.
thing attacked me, wrapped me
Now had changed.
his sides
up, devoured me. All I did was
They had become as soft and
to take it in, and now it’s gone.
thick as velvet.
The strange volcano-fountain
I feel sort of full. I suppose my
machines are sorting our samples
did not seem to have much in the
of it to send away to rendezvous
way of sensing devices. It paid no
points in little rockets. I know
attention to Samm or to herself.
that have sixteen small rockets
I
The dark cube attracted it, as
inside me, and I can feel two of
a shaft of sunlightmight attract them getting ready to move. Nei-
a baby or as the rustle of paper
ther one of you could have done
might draw the attention of a what I do. I was built to a’osorb
kitten. whole suns if necessary, break
With a slight tvdst of its vital- them down, freeze them down,
ity and direction, the whole change their molecular structure
column of burning, living bright- and shoot their vitality off in one
ness plunged upon Finsternis, big useless blast on the radio
plunged and burned out and went spectrum. You couldn’t do any-
in and was seen no more. thing like that, Samm, even if
ycu do have arms and legs and
and a head and a voice —
if we ever

F insternis’
cheerful,
voice,
sounded
clear
out to get into an atmosphere for you
to use it in. You couldn’t do
both of them:
“It’s gone now.” what I have just done. Folly.”
THREE TO A GIVEN STAR 113
 “You’re ^ood,” said Folly, with
emphasis. But she added: “I can
repair you.”
Obviously offended, Finsternis
withdrew into his silence.
Samm said to Folly, “How
much further to destination?”
Said Folly promptly, “Seven-
ty-nine earth years, four months
and three days, six hours and two
minutes, but you know how little
that means out here. It could
seem like a single afternoon or it
could feel to us like a thousand
lifetimes. Time doesn’t work
very well for us.”
“How did Earth ever find this
place, anyhow?” said Samm.
“All I know is that it was two
very strong telepaths, working to-
gether on the planet Mizzer. An
ex-dictator named Casher O’Neill
and an ex-Lady named Celalta.
They were doing a bit of psionic
astronomy and suddenly this sig-
nal came in strong and clear. You
know that telepaths can catch di-
rections very accurately. Even
over immense distances. And
they can get emotions, too. But
they are not very good at actual
images or things. Somebody else
checked it out for them.”
“M-m-m,” said Samm. He had
heard all this before. Out of sheer
boredom, he went back to swim-
ming vigorously. The body might
not really be his, but it made him
feel good to exercise it.
Besides, he knew that Folly
114
watched him with pleasure —
great pleasure, and a little bit of
envy.
Rasher O’Neill and the Lady
Celalta had finished with
making love.
They had lain with their bodies
tired and their minds clear, re-
laxed. They had stretched out
on a blanket just above the big
gushing spring which was the
source of the Ninth Nile. Both
telepaths, they could hear a bird-
couple quarreling inside a tree,
the male bird commanding the
female to get out and get to
work and the female answering
by dropping deeper and deeper
into a fretful and irritable sleep.
The Lady Celalta had whis-
pered a thought to her lover and
master, Casher O’Neill.
“To the stars?”
“The stars?” thought he with
a grumble. They were both strong
telepaths. He had been imprinted,
in some mysterious way, with
the greatest telepath-hypnotist of
all time, the Honorable Agatha
Madigan, who had gone down in
history as the Hechizera of Gort-
falon, the only person in history
to hypnotize the men and robots
of a battle fleet so that it des-
troyed itself in open space. Cash-
er O’Neill had also retained dim
memories of a half-grown girl, in-
credibly lovely in a simple blue
dress, lost to him somewhere be-
GALAXY
yond amnesiac stars, but in the not even speak to her, nor did he
Lady Celalta he had a compan- telepath a word to her; he ivas
ion worthy of his final talents, a conserving his strength for a good
natural telepath who could her- jump.
self reach not only all of Miz- He merely nodded to her.
zer but some of the nearer stars. The Lady Celalta, too, began
When they teamed up together, the deep breathing, but she seem-
as she now proposed, they could ed to need it less than did Cash-
plunge into dusty infinities of er.
depth and bring back feelings or They were both sitting up, side
images which no Go-Captain had by side, breathing deeply.
ever found with his ship. The cool night sands of Mizzer
He sat up with a grunt of as- were around them, the harmless
sent. gurgle of the Ninth Nile beside
She looked at him fondly, pos- them, the bright star-cluttered
sessively, her dark eyes alight sky of Mizzer was above them.
with happiness, pos-
alertness, Her hand reached out and took
sessiveness and adventure. hold of his.
“Can I lift?” she asked, almost She squeezed his hand. He
timidly. looked at her and nodded to her
When two telepaths worked to- again.
gether, one cleared the vision for Within his mind, Mizzer and
both of them as far as their com- its entire solar system seemed
binded minds could reach and to burst into flame with a new
then the other sprang, with enor- kind of light. The radiance of
mous and as fast as
effort as far Celalta’ s mind trailed off uneven-
possible toward any target which ly in different directions but
presented They had found
itself. there, almost 2° off the pole of
strange things, sometimes beauti- Mizzer’s ecliptic, he felt some-
ful or dramatic ones, by this thing wild and strange, a kind
method. of being which he had never
Casher was already drinking sensed before. Using Celalta’s
enormous gulps of air, filling his mind as a base, he let his mind
lungs, holding his breath, letting dive for it.

go with a gasp, and then inhaling The distance'of the plunge left
deeply and slowly again. In this them both dizzy, sitting on the
way he reoxygenated his brain quiet night sands of Mizzer. It
very thoroughly for the huge ef- seemed to both of them that the
fort of a telepathic dive into the mind of man had never reached
remote depth of space. He did so far before.
THREE TO A GIVEN STAR 115
 The reality of the phenomenon
was undoubtable.
There were animals all around
them, the usual categories: run-
ners, hunters, jumpers, climbers,
swimmers, hiders and handlers.
It was some of the handlers who
were intensely telepathic them-
selves.
The image of man
ed an immediate, murderous re-
sponse :
“Cackle gabble, gabble cack-
le, man, man, man, eat them, eat
them!”
Casher and Celalta were both
so surprised that they let the con-
tact go, after making sure that
they had touched a whole world
full of beings, some of them
pathic and probably civilized.
How had the beings known
“man”? Why had their response
been immediate? Why anthropo-
phagous and homicidal?
They took time, before com-
ing completely out of the trance,
to make a careful, exact note of
the direction from which the
danger-brains had shrieked their
weaning.
This they submitted to the In-
strumentality, shortly after the
incident.
And that was how, unknown
to Folly, Samm and Finsternis,
the inhabitants on the third
planet of Linschoten had XV
come to the attention of man-
kind.
116
IV
Asa matter of fact, the three
wanderers later on felt a
vague, remote telepathic contact
which they sensed as being warm-
hearted and human, and there-
fore did not try to track down,
with their minds or their wea-
creat- pons. It was O’Neill and Celalta,
many years later by Mizzer time,
reaching to see what the Instru-
mentality had done about Lins-
choten XV.
Folly, Samm and Finsternis
had no suspicion that the two
most powerful telepaths in the
human area of the galaxy had
stroked them, searched them, felt
tele- them through, and seen things
about them which the three of
them did not know about them-
selves or about each other.
Casher O’Neill said to the
Lady Celalta:
“You got it, too?”
“A beautiful woman, encased
in a little ship?”
Casher nodded: “A red-head
with skin as soft and transparent
as living ivory? A woman who
was beautiful and will be beauti-
ful again?”
“That’s what I got,” said the
Lady Celalta. “And the tired old
man, weary of his children and
weary of his own life because his
children were weary of him.”
“Not so old,” said Casher
O’Neill. “And isn’t that a spec-
GALAXY
tacular piece of machinery they question. “The third person, the
put him into? A metal giant. It one in the cube.” She stopped,
felt like something about a quar- as though she could neither ask
ter of a kilometer high. Acid- nor say more.
proof. Cold-proof. Won’t he be “It was not a robot or a person-
surprised when he finds that the ality cube,” said Casher O’Neill.
Instrumentality has rejuvenated “It was a human being all right.
his own body inside that mon- But it’s crazy. Could you make
ster?” out, Celalta, as to whether it was
“He certainly will be,” said the male or female?”
Lady Celalta happily, thinking “No,” said she, “I couldn’t tell.
of the pleasant surprise which The other two seemed to think
lay ahead of a man whom she that it was male.”
would never know or see with “But did you feel sure?” asked
her own bodily eyes. Casher.
They both fell silent. “With that being, I felt sure of
Then said the Lady Celalta, nothing. It was human, all right,
“But the third person .” There
. . but it was stranger than any lost

was a shiver in her voice as hominid we have ever felt around

though she dared not ask the the forgotten stars. Could you
THREE TO A GIVEN STAR 117
tel!, Casher, whether it was Do you realize that you may
young or old?” have spoken the actual literal
“No,” said he. “I felt nothing truth?” Her whisper darted at
— only a desperate human mind him like a snake.
with all its guards up, living only At last, he whispered back
because of the terrible powers of “What did you sense? What could
the black cube, the sun-killer in you guess?”
which it rode. I never sensed “They have sent a madman to
someone before who was a person the stars. Or a mad woman. A
without characteristics. It’s fright- real psychotic.”
ening.” “Lots of pilots,” said Casher,
“The Instrumentality are cruel speaking more normally, “are
sometimes,” said Celalta. cushioned against loneliness with
“Sometimes they have to be,” real but artificially activated psy-
Casher agreed. choses. It gets them through me
“But I never thought that they real or imagined horrors of the
would do that.” sufferings of space.”
“Do what?” asked Casher. “I don’t mean that,” said Celal-
Her dark eyes looked at him. ta, still whispering urgently and
It was a different night, and a secretly. “I mean a real psy-
different Nile, but the eyes were chotic.”
only a very little bit older and “But there aren’t any. Not
they loved him just as much as loose, that is,” said Casher,
ever. The Lady Celalta trembled stammering with surprise at last.
as though she herself might think “They either get cured or they
that the all-powerful Instrumen- are bottled up in thought-proof
tality could have hidden a micro- satellites somewhere.”
phone in the random sands. She Celalta raised her voice a little,
whispered to her lover, her mas- no longer
just a little, so that she
ter: whispered but spoke urgently.
“You said it yourself, Casher, “But don’t you see, that’s what
just a moment ago.” they must have done. The In-
“Said what?” He spoke tender- strumentality made a star-killer
ly but fearlessly, his voice ring- too strong for any normal mind
ing out over the cool night sands. to guide. So the Lords got a
psychotic somewhere, a real psy-
'T'he Lady Celalta went on chotic, and sent a madman out
whispering, which was very among the stars. Otherwise we
unlike her usual self: “You said could have felt its gender or its
that the third person was ‘crazy.’ age.”
118 GALAXY
 Casher nodded in silent agree-
ment. The air did not feel colder,
but he got gooseflesh sitting be-
side his beloved Celalta on the
familiar desert sands.
“You’re right. You must be
right. It almost makes me feel
sorry for the enemies out near
Linschoten Fifteen. Do you see
nothing of them this time? I
couldn’t perceive them at
“I did, a little,” said the
Celalta. telepaths have
“Their
caught the strange minds coming
atthem with a high rate of speed.
The telepathic ones are wild with
excitement but the others are
just going cackle-gabble, cackle-
gabble with each other, filled with
anger, hunger and the thought
of man.”
“You got that much?” he
in wonder.
“My lord and my lover,
“That’s what I got, too,” said
Casher. “It sounds like a weird
team.”
“But a powerful one, a terribly
powerful one,” said the Lady
Celalta. “You and I, my lover
and master, have seen strange
things and dangers between
the stars, even before we met
each other, but we never saw any-
all.’’ thing like this before, did we?”
Lady “No,” said he.
“Well, then,” said she, “let us
sleep and forget the matter as
much as we can. The Instrumen-
tality is certainly taking care of
Linschoten Fifteen, and we two
not need botlier about it.”
And all that Samm, Folly and
Finsternisknew was that a light
touch, unexplained but friendly,
said had gone over them from the far
star region near home. Thought
I dived they, they thought anything
if

this time. Is it so strange that I about at all, “The Instrumen-

it

sensed more than you did? Your tality, which made us and sent
strength lifted me.” us, has checked up on us one
“Did you hear what the wea- more time.”
pons called each other?”
“Something silly.” He could V
see her knitting her brows in the
bright starshine which illuminat- few years later, Samm and
ed the desert almost the way that Folly were talking again
the Old Original Moon lit up the while Finsternis —
guarded,
nights sometimes on Manhome impenetrable, uncommunicating,
Itself. “It was Folly, and some- detectable only by the fierce glow
thing like ‘Superordinated Alien of human life which shone tele-
Measuring and Mastery machine’ pathically out of the immense
and something like ‘darkness’ in cube —rode space beside them
the Ancient Doyches Language.” and said nothing.
THREE TO A GIVEN STAR 119
 Suddenly Folly cried out to kind of being. Most forms of life
Samm loudly: think first through their noses
can smell them.”
“I and then figure out the rest of ex-
“Smell who?” asked Samm perience later. After all, I was
mildly. “There isn’t any smell out built to intimidate, to frighten,
here in the nothingness of to destroy. The Instrumentality
space.” did not make this giant to be
“Silly,” thought Folly back, friendly with anybody. You and I
“I don’t mean really smell. I can be friends. Folly, because you
mean that I can pick up their are a little ship which I could
sense of odor telepathically.” hold like a cigar between my
“Whose?” said Samm, being fingers, and because the ship
dense. holds the memory of a very love-
“Our enemies’, of course,” ly woman. I can sense what you
cried Folly. “The man-remem- once were. What you may still
berers who
are not man. The be, if your actual body is still in-
cackle-gabble creatures. The be- side that boat.”
ings who remember man and “Oh, Samm!” she cried. “Do
hate him. They smell thick and you think 1 might still be alive,
warm and alive to each other. really alive, with a real me in a
Their whole world is full of real me, and a chance to be my-
smells. Their telepaths are get- selfsomewhere again, out here
ting frantic now. They have even between the stars?”
figured out that there are three “I can’t sense it plainly,” said
of us and they are trying to get Samm. “I’ve reached as much as
our smells.” I can through your ship with my
“And we have no smell. Not sensors, but I can’t tell whether
when we do not even know there’s a whole woman there or
whether we have human bodies might be just a memory of
not. It
or not, inside these things. Im- you dissected and laminated be-
agine this metal body of mine tween a lot of plastic sheets.
smelling. If it did have a smell,” I really can’t tell, but some-
said Samm, “it would probably times I have the strangest hunch
be the very soft smell of work- that you are still alive, in the old
ing steeland a little bit of lubri- ordinary way, and that I am alive
cants, plus whatever odors my too.”
jets might activate inside an at- “Wouldn’t that be wonderful!”
mosphere. If I know the Instru- She almost shouted at him.
mentality, they have made my “Samm, imagine being us again,
jets smell awful to almost any if we fulfill our mission and con-

120 GALAXY
 ”

quer this planet and stay alive can’t.” She thought again to him,
and settle there! I might even “But I’ve never studied astrono-
meet you and — my or navigation, so I couldn’t
They both fell silent at the im- tell whether we were at the edge
plications of being ordinary-alive of the galaxy or not.”
again. They knew
that they loved “Nowhere near the edge,” said
each other. Out here, in the im- Samm. “We’re not John Joy
mense blackness of space, there Tree and we’re nowhere near the
was nothing they could do but two-headed elephants which weep
streak along in their fast trajec- forever in intergalactic space.”
tories and talk to each other a
little bitby telepathy. C( T°hn Joy Tree?” sang Folly;
“Samm,” said Folly, and the av there was joy and memory
tone of her thought showed that in her thoughts as she sounded
she was changing a difficult sub- the name. “He was my idol when
ject. “Do you think that we are I was a girl. My
father was a
the furthest out that people have subchief of the Instrumentality
ever gone? You used to be a and always promised to bring
technician. You might know. Do John Joy Tree to our house. We
you?” had a country and it was unusual
“Of course I know,” thought and very fine for this day and
Samm promptly. “We’re not. age. But mister and Go-Captain
After all, we’re still deep inside Tree never got around to visiting
our own galaxy.” us, so there I was, a big girl
“I didn’t know,” said Folly with picture-cubes of him all
contritely. over my room. I liked him be-
“With all those instruments, cause he was so much older than
don’t you know where you are?” me, and so resolute-looking and
“Of course I know where I am, so tender too. I had all sorts of
Samm. In relation to the third romantic day-dreams about him,
planet of Linschoten XV. I even but he never showed up and I
have a faint idea of the general married the wrong man several
direction which Old Earth
in times, and my children got given
must and how many thou-
lie, to the wrong people, so here I am.
sands of ages it would take us But what’s this stuff about two-
to get home, travelling through headed elephants?”
ordinary space, if we did try to “Really?” said Samm. “I don’t
turn around.” She thought to see how you could hear about
herself but didn’t add in her John Joy Tree and not know
thought to Samm, “Which we what he did.”
THREE TO A GIVEN STAR 121
 “I knew he flew far, far out, was nothing at all. The ships
but I didn’t know exactly what were made by nothing which man
he did. After all, I was just a has ever even seen. We still don’t
child when I love with his
fell in know where they came from or
picture. What
did he do? He’s what made them. Each open ship
dead now, suppose, so I don’t
I had a sort of animal, something
suppose it matters.” like an elephant with four front
Finsternis cut in, grimly and legs and a head at each end, and
unexpectedly: “John Joy Tree as he passed the unimaginable
is not dead. He’s creeping around ships, these animals howled at
a monstrous place on an aban- him. Howled grief and mourning.
doned planet, and he is immortal Our best guess was that the
and insane.” ships were the tombs of some
“How did you know that?” great race of beings and the howl-
cried Samm, turning his enor- ing elephants the immortal half-
mous metal head to look at the living mourners who guarded
dark burnished cube which had them.”
said nothing for so many years. “But how did John Joy Tree
There was no further thought ever get back?”
from Finsternis, not a ghost, not “Ah, that was beautiful. If you
an echo of a word. go into spaces, you take noth-
Folly prodded him: ing more than your own body with
“It’s no use trying to make you. That was the finest engineer-
that thing talk if it doesn’t want ing the human race has ever done.
to. We’ve both tried, thousands They designed and built a whole
of times. Tell me about the two- planoform ship out of John Joy
headed elephants. Those are the Tree’s skin, fingernails and hair.
big animals with large floppy ears They had to change his body
and the noses that pick things chemistry a bit to get enough
up, aren’t they? And they make metal in him to carry the coils
very wise, dependable under- and the electric circuits, but it
people out of them?” worked. He came back. That was
“I don’t know about the under- a man who could skip through
people part, but the animals are space like a little boy hopping on
the kind you mention, very big familiar rocks. He’s the only pilot
indeed. When John Joy Tree got who ever piloted himself back
far outside our cosmos by flying home from outside our galaxy. I
through space he found an enor- don’t know whether it will be
mous procession of open ships worth the time and treasure to
flying in columns where there use spaces for intergalactic trips.
122 GALAXY
After all, some very gifted people
may have already fallen through
by accident, Folly. You and Fin-
sternis and I are people who
have been built into machines.
We are now ourselves the ma-
chines. But with Tree they did
it the other way around. They
made a machine out of him. And
itworked. In that one deep flight
he went billions of times further
than we will ever go.”
“You think you know,” said
Finsternis unexpectedly. “You
think you know. That’s what you
always do. You think you know.”
Folly and Samm tried to get
Finsternis to talk some more, but
nothing happened. After a few
more rests and talks they were
ready for landing on the third
planet of Linschoten XV.
''X^hey landed.
They fought.
Blood ran on the ground. Fire
scorched the valleys and boiled
the lakes. The telepathic world
was full of the cackle-gabble of
fright, hatred throwing itself in-
to suicide, fury turning into sur-
render, into deep despair, into
hopelessless, and at last into a
strange kind of quiet and love.
Let us. not tell that story.
It can be written some other
time, told by some other voice.
The beings died by thousands
and tens of thousands while Fin-
sternis sat on a mountain-top,
THREE TO A GIVEN STAR
doing nothing. Folly wove death
and destruction, uncoded langu-
ages, drew maps, showed Samm
the strong-points and the wea-
pons which had to be destroyed.
Part of the technology was very
advanced, other parts were still
tribal. The dominant race was
that of the beings who had evolv-
ed into handlers and thinkers;
it was they who were the tele-
paths.
All hatred ceased as the haters
died.
Only the submissive ones lived
on.
Samm tore cities about with
his bare metal hands, ripped
heavy guns to pieces while they
were firing at him, picking the
gunners off the gun carriages as
though they were lice, swimming
oceans when he had to, with
Folly darting and hovering
around or ahead of him.
Final surrender was brought
by their strongest telepath, a very
wise old male who had been
hidden inside a deep mountain;
“You have come, people. We
surrender. Some of us have al-
ways known the truth. We are
Earth-born, too. A cargo of chick-
ens settled here unimaginable
times ago. A time-twist tore us
out of our convoy and threw us
here. That’s way, v/hen we sensed
you far across space, we caught
the relationship of eat-and-eaten.
Only, our brave ones had it
123
wrong. You eat us: we don’t eat your terms. We belong to you.” t,

you. You are the masters now.

We will serve you forever. Do "^XThen this was done, the war
you seek our death?” was over.
“No, no,” said Folly. “We Strange things began to hap-
came only to avert a danger, and pen.
we have done that. Live on, and Wild voices sang from within
on, but plan no war and make Folly and Samm, voices not their
no weapons. Leave that to the own:
Instrumentality.” Mission gone. Work finished.
“Blessed is the Instrumentality, Go to hill with cube. Go and re-
whoever that may be. We accept joice!
124 GALAXY
 Samm and Folly hesitated. “Alan.”
They had left Finsternis where Ellen, land, sang the rejoic-
they landed, halfway around the ing voices to Folly. Folly, herself
planet. a little ship, landed at Samm’s
The singing voices became feet. She was bewildered with
more urgent: happy confusion and a great deal
Go. Go. Go now. Go back to of pain which did not seem to
the cube. Tell the chicken-people matter much.
to plant a lawn and a grove of Alan, come forth, sang the
trees. Go, go, go now to the voices. Samm felt a sharp pain
good reward! as his forehead — his huge metal
They told the telepaths what forehead, two hundred meters
had been said to them and voy- above the ground —
burst open
aged wearily up out of the atmo- and closed again. There was
sphere and back down for a something pink and helpless in
landing at the original point of his hand.
contact, a long low hill which The voices commanded, Alan,
had been planted with huge put your hand gently on the
patches of green turf and freshly ground.
transplanted trees even in the Samm obeyed and put his hand
hours in which they flew off the on the ground. The little pink toy
world and back on it again. The fell on the fresh turf. It was a
bird-telepaths must have had tiny miniature of a man.
strong and quick commands. Ellen, stand forth, sang the
The singing became pure music voices again. The ship named
as they landed, chorales of re- Folly opened a door and a naked
ward and rejoicing, with the hint young woman fell out.
of martial marches and victory Alma, wake up. The cube
fugues woven in. named Finsternis turned darker
Alan, stand up, said the voices than charcoal. Out of the dark
to Samm. side, there stumbled a black-
Samm stood on the ridge of haired girl. She ran across the
the hill. He stood like a colos- hill-slope to the figure named
sus against the red-dawning sky. Ellen. The man-body named
A quiet crowd of the
friendly, Alan was struggling to his feet.
chicken-people fell back. Thethree of them stood up.
Alan, put your hand to your The voices spoke to them:
right forehead, sang the voices. “This our last message. You
is
Samm obeyed. He did not have done your work. You are
know why the voices called him well. The boat named Folly con-
THREE TO A GIVEN STAR 125
tains tools, medicine and the oth- VI
er equipmentfor a human colony.
The giantnamed Samm will ''T^en years later, they had the
stand forever as a monument to proof of happiness playing
human victory. The cube named in theyard before their house —
Finsternis will now dissolve. a substantial building, made of
Alan! Ellen! Treat Alma loving- stone and brick, which the local
ly and well. She is now a for- people had built under Alan’s di-
getty.” rections.(They had changed their
The three naked people stood whole technology in the process
bewildered in the dawn. of learning from him, and —
“Good-by and a great high thanks to the efficiency and
thanks from the Instrumentality. power of the telepathic priestly
This is a pre-coded message, ef- caste —things learned at any
fective only if you won. You one spot on the planet were swift-
have won. Be happy. Live on!” ly disseminated to the whole
Ellen took Alma —
who had group of races on the planet.)
been Finsternis —
and held her The proof of happiness consisted
tight. The great cube dissolved of the thirty-fivehuman children
into a shapeless slag-heap. Alan, playing in the yard. Ellen had
who had been Samm, looked up had nine, four sets of twins and
at his former body dominating a single. Alma had had twelve,
the skyline. two sets of quintuplets and a
For reasons which the travelers pair of twins. The other fourteen
did not understand until many had been bottle-grown from ova
years had passed, the bird-peo- and sperm which they found in
ple around them broke into ulu- the ship, the frozen donations of
lant hymns of peace, welcome complete strangers who had done
and joy. their bit for the offworld settling
“My house,” said Ellen, point- of the human race. Thanks to the
ing at the little ship which had careful genetic coding of both the
spat forth her body just minutes womb-children and the bottle-
ago, “is now a home for all of children, there was a variety of
us.” types, suitable for natural breed-
They climbed into the success- ing over many generations to
ful little ship which had been come.
called Folly. They knew, some- Alan same to the door. He
how, that they would find clothes measured the time by the place
and food. And wisdom, too. They where the great shadow fell. It
did. was hard to realize that the gigan-
126 GALAXY
tic, indestructible statue which
loomed above them all had once
been his own self. A small glacier
was beginning to form around
the feet of Samm and the night
was getting cold.
“I’m bringing the children in
already,” said Ch-tikkik, one of
the local nurses they had hired
to help with the huge brood of
human babies. She, in return,
got the privilege of hatching her
eggs on the warm shelf behind the
electric stove; she turned them
every hour, eagerly awaiting the
time that sharp little mouths
would break the shell and hrunan-
like little hands would tear an
opening from which a human-
like baby would emerge, oddly-
pretty-ugly like a gnome, and
unusual only in that it could
stand upright from the moment
of birth.
One little boy was arguing
with Ch-tikkik. He wore a warm
robe of vegetable-fiber veins
knitted to serve as a base for a
feather cloak. He was pointing
out that with such a robe he
could survive a blizzard and
claiming, quite justly, that he
did not have to be in the house
in order to stay warm. Was that
Rupert? thought Alan.
He was about to call the child
when his two wives came to the
door, arm in arm, flushed with
the heat of the kitchen where
they had been cooking the two
THREE TO A GIVEN STAR
dinners together — one dinner
for the human, now numbering
thirty-seven,and the other for the
bird-people, who were tremen-
dously appreciative of getting
cooked food, Irut v/ho had odd re-
quirements in the recipes, such
as “one quart of finely ground
granite gravel to each gallon of
oatmeal, sugared to taste and
served with soybean milk.”
Alan stood behind his wives
and put a hand on the shoulder
of each.
“It’s hard to think,” he said,
“that a little over ten years ago,
we didn’t even know that we were
still people. Now look at us, a
family, and a good one.”
Alma turned her face up to be
kissed, and Ellen, who was less
sentimental, lifted 'ner face to be
kissed too, so that her co-wife
would not be embarrassed at be-
ing babied separately. The two
liked each other very much. Al-
ma came out of the cube Finis-
ternis as a forgetty, conditioned
to remember nothing of her long
sad psychotic life before the In-
strumentality had sent her on a
wild mission among the stars.
When she had joined Alan and
Ellen, she knew the words of the
Old Common Tongue, but very
little else.
Ellen had had some time
and to
to teach her, to love her
mother her before any of the
babies were born, and the re’T-
127
tionship between the two oi’
was warm and good.
^'T^he three parents stood aside
as the bird-women, wearing
their comfortable and pretty
feather cloaks, herded the chil-
dren into the house. The smallest
children had already been
brought in from their sunning and
were being given their bottles by
bird-girls who never got tired of
watching the cuteness and help-
lessness of the human infant.
hard to think of that time
“It’s
at all,” said Ellen,who had been
“Folly.” “I wanted beauty and
fame and a perfect marriage and
nobody even told me that they
just didn’t go together. I have
had to come to the end of the
stars to get what I wanted, to
be what I might become.”
“And me,” said Alma, who had
been “Finsternis,” “I had a worse
problem. I was crazy. I was
afraid of life. I didn’t know how
to be a person. I didn’t
know how a woman, a
to be
sweetheart, a female, a mother.
How could I ever guess that I
needed a sister and wife, like the
one you have been, to make my
life whole? Without you to show
me, Ellen, I could never have
married our husband. I thought I
was carrying murder among the
stars, but I was carrying my own
solution as well. Where
could I turn out to be me?”
128
thein “And I,” said Alan, who had
been “Samm,” “became a metal
giant between the stars because
my first wife was dead and my
own children forgot me and neg-
lected me. Nobody can say I’m
not a father now. Thirty-five, and
more than half of them mine.
I’ll be more of a father than
any other man of the human race
has ever been.”
There was a change in the sha-
dow as the enormous right arm
swung quietly but heavily to-
ward the sky as a prelude to the
sharp robotic call that nightfall,
calculated with astronomical pre-
cision, had indeed come to the
place where he stood.
The arm reached its height,
pointing straight up.
“I used to do that,” said Alan.
The cry came, something like
a silent pistol-shot which all of
them heard, but a shot without
echoes, without reverberations.
Alan looked around. “All the
even children are in. Even Rupert.
Come in, my darlings, and let us
have dinner together.” Alma and
EUen went ahead of him and he
barred the heavy doors behind
them.
This was peace and happiness;
that at last was goodness. They
had no obligation but to live and
to be happy. The threat and the
promise of victory were far, far
else behind.
—CORDWAINER SMITH
GALAXY
 SMALL DEER
by CLIFFORD D. SIMAK

Something killed the dinosaurs.

And where's that Something now?

Willow Bend, Wisconsin Dennis doesn’t read too well. It

June 23, 1966 is a chore for him.
Dr. Wyman Jackson, Maybe I should tell you, to
Wyalusing College, start with, that my name is Alton
Muscoda, Wisconsin James. I live with my widowed
mother and I run a fix-it shop. I
My dear Dr. Jackson: fix bicycles and lawn mowers and
radios and television sets I fix —
I am writing to you because anything that is brought in to me.
I don’t know who else to write I’m not much good at anything
to and there is something I have else, but I do seem to have the
to tell someone who can under- knack of seeing how things go
stand. I know your name because together and understanding how
I read your book, “Cretaceous they work and seeing what is
Dinosaurs,” not once, but many wrong with them when they
times. I tried to get Dennis to aren’t working. I never had no
read it, too, but I guess he never training of any sort, but I just
did. All Dennis ever was inter- seem to have a natural bent for
ested in were the mathematics getting along with mechanical
of his time concept —
not the contraptions.
time machine itself. Besides, Dennis is my friend and I’ll

129
admit right off that he is a Dennis put on paper. Maybe
strange one. He doesn’t know Dennis used symbols he made up,
from nothing about anything, but inventing them as he went along,
he’s nuts on mathematics. Peo- because no one had ever told
ple in town make fun of him be- him what the regular mathemati-
cause he is so strange and Ma cians used. But I don’t think
givesme hell at times for having that’s it —I’m inclined to lean to
anything to do with him. She the idea Dennis came up with a
says he’s the next best thing to new brand of math, entirely.
a village idiot. I guess a lot of There were times I tried to
people think the way that Ma talk with Dennis about this math
does, but it’s not ei^J:irely true, of his and each time he was sur-
for he does know his math. prised that I didn’t know it, too.
I guess he thought most people
don’t know how he knows it. knew about it. He said that it
I He didn’t learn it at school was simple, that it was plain as
and that’s for sure. When he got day. It was the way things work-
to be 17 and hadn’t got no far- ed, he said.
ther than eighth grade, the school I suppose you’ll want to ask

just sort of dropped him. He how come I understood his equa-

didn’t really get to eighth grade
honest; the teachers after a while
got tired of seeing him on one
grade and passed him to the next.
There was talk, offand
sending him to some
school, never got nowhere.
but it
And don’t ask me what kind
of mathematics he knew. I tried
to read up on math once because
I had the feeling, after seeing
some of the funny marks that
Dennis put on paper, that maybe
he knew more about it than any-
one else in the world. And I still
think that he does or that
maybe he’s invented an entirely
new kind of math. For in the
books I looked through I never
did find any of the symbols that
tions well enough to make the
time machine. The answer is I
didn’t..! suppose that Dennis and
I are alike in a lot of ways, but
on, of in different ways. I know how to
special make contraptions work (without
knowing any of the theory) and
Dennis sees the entire universe
as something operating mathe-
matically (and him scarcely able
to read a page of simple type.)
And another thing. My family
and Dennis’ family live in the
same end of town and from the
time we were toddlers, Dennis
— and I played together. Later on,
we just kept on together. We
didn’t have a choice. For some
reason or other, none of the kids
would play with us. Unless we

130 GALAXY
iwanted to play alone, we had to figure out everything but time,
play together. I guess we got so, and now it seemed he was get-
through the years, that we under- ting that down in black and
stood each other. white, like all the rest of it.
I don’t suppose there’d been IMostly I didn’t pay too much
any time machine if I hadn’t attention to what he said, for a
been so interested in paleontol- lot of it didn’t make much sense.
ogy.Not that I knew anything But after he’d talked, incessantly,
aboutit; I was just interested. for aweek or two, on time, I be-
From the time I was a kid I gan to pay attention. But don’t
read everything I could lay my expect me to tell you what he
hands on about dinosaurs and said or make any sense of it,
saber-tooths and such. Later on for there’s no way that I can.
I went fossil hunting in the hills, To understand what Dennis said
but I never found nothing really and meant, you’d have to live
big. Mostly I found brachiopods. with him, like I did, for twenty
There are great beds of them in years or more. It’s not so much
the Platteville limestone. And understanding what Dennis says
lots of times I’d stand in the as understanding Dennis.
street and look up at the river I don’t think we actually made
bluffs above the town and try any real decision to build a time
to imagine what it had been like machine. It just sort of grew on
a million years ago, or a hundred us. All at once we found that we
million. When I first read in a were making one.
story about a time machine, I We took our time. We
had to
remember thinking how I’d like take our time, for we went back
to have one. guess that at one
I a lot and did things over, almost
time I thought a little about from the start. It took weeks to
making one, but then realized I get some of the proper effects —
couldn’t. at least, that’s what Dennis called
them. Me, I didn’t know any-
'TAennis had a habit of coming thing about effects. All that I
to my shop and talking, but knew was that Dennis wanted to
most of the time talking to him- make something work a certain
self rather than to me. I don’t way and I tried to make it work
remember exactly how it started, that way Sometimes, even when
but after a while I realized that it worke'd the way he wanted it,

he had stopped talking about it turned out to be wrong. So

anything but time. One day he we’d start all over.
told me he had been able to But finally we had a working

SMALL DEER 131

model of it and took it out on a
big bald bluff, several miles up
the river, where no one ever
went. I rigged up a timer to a
switch that would turn it on,
then after two minutes would re-
verse the field and send it home
again.
We mounted a movie cam-
era inside the frame that car-
ried the machine,and we set the
camera going, then threw the
timer switch.
I had my doubts that it would
work, but it did. It went away
and stayed for two minutes, then
came back again.
When we developed the cam-
era film, we knew without any
question the camera had traveled
back in time. At first there were
pictures of ourselves, standing
there and waiting. Then there
was a little blur, no more than
a flicker, across a half a dozen
frames, and the next frames
showed a mastodon walking
straight into the camera. A frac-
tion of a second later his trunk
jerked up and his ears flared out
as he wheeled around with clum-
sy haste and galloped down the
ridge.
Every now and then he’d
swing his head around to take a
look behind him. I imagine that
our time machine, blossoming
suddenly out of the ground in
front of him, scared him out of
seven years of growth.
132
\\Ts were lucky, that was all.
We could have sent that
camera back another thousand
times, perhaps, and never caught
a mastodon —
probably never
caught a thing. Although we
would have known it had moved
in time, for the landscape had
been different, although not a
great deal different. But from the
landscape we could not have told
if it had gone back in time a hun-
dred or a thousand years. When
we saw the mastodon, however,
we knew we’d sent the camera
back 10,000 years at least.
I won’t bore you with how we
worked out a lot of problems
on our second model, or how
Dennis managed to work out a
time-meter that we could cali-
brate to send the machine a speci-
fic distance into time. Because
all this is not important. What
is important is what I found
when I went into time.
I’ve already told youread
I’d
your book about Cretaceous di-
nosaurs and I liked the entire
book, but that final chapter about
the extinction of the dinosaurs
is the one that really got me.
Many a time I’d lie awake at
night thinking about all the the-
ories you wrote about and trying
to figure out in my own mind
how it really was.
So when it was time to get into
that machine and go, 1 knew
where I would be headed.
GALAXY
 Dennis gave me no argument.
He didn’t even want to go. He
didn’t care no more. He never
was really interested in the time
machine. All he wanted was to
prove out his math. Once the
machine did that, he was through
with it.
I worried a going as far as
lot,
I meant to go, about the rising
or subsidence of the crust. I knew
that the land around Willow
Bend had been stable for millions
of years. Sometime during the
Cretaceous a sea had crept into
the interior of the continent, but
had stopped short of Wisconsin
and, so far as geologists could de-
termine, there had been no dis-
turbances in the state. But I still
felt uneasy about it. I didn’t
to come out into the Late Cre-
taceous with the machine buried
under a dozen feet of rock or,
maybe, hanging a dozen feet up
in the air.
So I got some heavy steel pipes
and sunk them six feet into the
rock on the bald bluff top we
had used that first time, with
about ten feet of their length ex-
tending in the air. I mounted the
time frame on top of them and
rigged up a ladder to get in and
out of it and tied the pipes into
the time field.
One morning I packed a lunch
and filled a canteen with water.
I dug the old binoculars that had
been my father’s out of the attic
SMALL DEER
and debated whether I should
take along a gun. All I had was
a shotgun and I decided not to
take it. If I’d had a rifle, there’d
been no question of my taking
it, but I didn’t have one. I could
have borrowed one, but I didn’t
want to. I’d kept pretty quiet
about what I was doing and I
didn’t want to start any gossip
in the village.
went up to the bluff top and
I climbed up to the frame and
set the time-meter for 63j4 mil-
lion years into the past and then
I turned her on. I didn’t make
any ceremony out of it. I just
turned her on and went.
I told you about the little blur
want in the movie film and that’s the
best way, I suppose, to tell you
how it was. There was this little
blur, like a flickering twilight.
Then itwas sunlight once again
and I was on the bluff top, look-
ing out across the valley.
Except it wasn’t a bluff top
any longer, but only a high hill.
And the valley was not the rug-
ged, tree-choked, deeply cut val-
ley I had always known, but a
great green plain, a wide and
shallow valley with a wide and
sluggish river flowing at the far
side of it. Far to the west I
could see a shimmer in the sun-
light, a large lake or sea. But a
sea, I thought, shouldn’t be this
far east. But there it was, either
133
a great lake or a sea — I never
did determine which.
And there was something else
as Vv'ell. I looked down to the
ground and it was only three feet
under me. Was I ever glad I
had used those pipes!
Looking out across the valley,
I could see some moving things,
but they were so far away that
I could not make them out. So
I picked up the binoculars and
jumped down to the ground and
walked across the hilltop until
the ground began to slope away.
I sat down and put the binocu-
lars to my eyes and worked
across the valley with them.
There were dinosaurs out there,
a whole lot more them than
of
I had expected. They were in
herds and they were traveling.
You’d expect that out of any
dozen herds of them, some of
them would be feeding, but none
of them was. All of them were
moving and it seemed to me there
was a nervousness in the way
they moved. Although, I told
myself, that might be the way
it was with dinosaurs.
They all were a long way off,
even with the glasses, but I could
make out some of them. There
w'ere several groups of duckbills,
waddling along and making
funny jerky movements with
their heads. I spotted a couple
of small herds of thescelosaurs,
pacing along, with their bodies
134
tilted forward. Here and there
were small groups of triceratops.
But strangest of all was a large
herd of brontosaurs, ambling ner-
vously and gingerly along, as if
their feet might hurt. And it
struck me strange, for they were
a long ways from water and from
what I’d read in your book, and
in other books, it didn’t seem too
likely they ever wandered too far
away from water.
And there were a lot of other
things that didn’t look too much
like the pictures I had seen in
books.
'"T^he whole business had a
funny feel about it. Could
it I wondered, that I
be, had
stumbled on some great migra-
tion, with all the dinosaurs head-
ing out for some place else?
I got so interested in watching
that I was downright careless and
it was foolish of me. I was in
another world and there could
have been all sorts of dangers
and I should have been watching
out for them, but I was just sit-
ting there, flat upon my back-
side, as if I were at home.
Suddenly there was a pound-
ing, as if someone had turned
loose a piledriver, coming up be-
hind me and coming very fast. I
dropped the glasses and twisted
around and as I did something
big and tall rushed past me, no
more than three feet away, so
GALAXY
close it almost brushed me. I Up over the brow of the hill
got just a brief impression of it came something else. I say some-
as it went past —
huge and gray thing else because I have no idea
and scaly. what it really was. Not as big as
it went tearing down
Then, as rex, but ten times worse than
the I saw what it was and
hill, him.
I had a cold and sinking feeling It was long and sinuous and it
clear down in my gizzard. For I had a lor of legs and it stood six
had been almost run down by feet high' or so and was a sort of
—
the big boy of them all Tyran- sickish pink. Take a caterpillar
nosaurus rex. and magnify it until it’s six feet
His two great legs worked like then give it longer legs so
tall,

driving pistons and the light of thatit can run instead of crawl

the sun glinted off the wicked,
recurved claws as his feet pump-
ed up and down. His tail rode
low and awkward, but there was
no awkwardness in the way he
moved. His monstrous head
swung from side to side, with
the great rows of teeth showing
in the gaping mouth, and he left
behind him a faint foul smell
I suppose from the carrion he
ate. But the big surprise was that
the wattles hanging underneath
his throat were a brilliant irri-
descence — red and green and
gold and the color of
purple,
them shifting as he swung his
head.
I watched him for just a sec-
ond and then I jumped up and
headed for the time machine. I
was more scared than I like to
think about. I had, I want to
testify right here, seen enough
of dinosaurs for a lifetime.
But I never reached the time
machine.
and hang a death mask dragon’s
head upon it and you get a faint
idea. Just a faint idea.
t saw me and swung its head
I toward me and made an
eager whimpering sound and it
slid along toward me with a side-
wheeling gait, like a dog when
— it’s running out of balance and
lop-sided.
I took one look at it and dug
in my heels and made so sharp
a turn that I lost my hat. The
next thing that I knew, I was
pelting down
the hill behind old
T yrannosaurus.
And now I saw that myself and
rex were not the only things that
were running down the hill.
Scattered here and there along
the hillside were other running
creatures, most of them in small
groups and herds, although there
were some singles. Most of them
were dinosaurs, but there were
other things as well.

SMALL DEER 135

 I’m sorry I can’t tell you what roundup of some sort, with all
they were, but at that particular the reptiles and the dinosaurs
moment wasn’t what you might
I and myself being driven to a
call an astute observer. I was common center.
running for my life, as if the I knew my life depended
that
flames of hell were lapping at on getting somehow, and be-
lost
my heels. ing left behind. I had to find a

I looked around a couple of place to hide and I had to dive

times and that sinuous creature into this hiding place without be-
was still behind me. He wasn’t ing seen. Only trouble was there
gaining on me any, although I seemed no place to hide. The
had the feeling that he could if valley floor was naked and noth-
he put his mind to it. Matter of ing bigger than a mouse could
fact, he didn’t seem to be fol- have hidden there.
lowing me alone. He was doing a Ahead of me a good-size swale
lot of weaving back and forth. rose up from the level floor and
He reminded me of nothing quite I went pelting up it. I was run-
so much as a faithful farm dog ning out of wind. My breath was
bringing in the cattle. But even getting short and I had pains
thinking this, it took me a little throbbing in my chest and I
time to realize that was exactly knew I couldn’t run much farth-
what he was —
an old farm dog er.
bringing in a bunch of assorted
dinosaurs and one misplaced hu- reached the top of the swale
man being. I and started down the reverse
At the bottom of the hill I slope. And there, right in front
looked back again and now that of me, was a bush of some sort,
I could see the whole slope of the three feet high or so, bristling
hill, I saw that this was a big- with thorns. I was too close to
ger cattle drive than I had imag- it and going too fast to even try

ined. The entire hill was alive to dodge it, so I did the only
with running beasts and behind thing I could —
I jumped over

them were a half dozen of the it.

pinkish dogs. But on the other side there

And I knew when I saw this was no solid ground. There was,
that the moving herds I’d seen instead, a hole. I caught just a
out on the valley floor were not glimpse of it and tried to jerk

migratory herds, but they were my body to one side, and then
moving because they were being I was falling in the hole.
driven — that this was a big It wasn’t much bigger than I

136 GALAXY
was. It bumped me as I fell
I picked up some bruises, then
landed with a jolt. The fall
knocked the breath out of me
and I was doubled over, with my
arms wrapped about my belly.
My breath came slowly back
and the pain subsided and I was
able to take a look at where I
was.
The hole was some three
in diameter and perhaps as much
as seven deep. It slanted slightly
toward the forefront of the slope
and its sides were worn smooth.
A thin trickle of dirt ran down
from the edge of it, soil that I
had loosened and dislodged when
I had hit the hole. And about half-
way up was a cluster of small
rocks, the largest of them about
the size of a human head, pro-
jecting more than half their
width out of the wall. I thought,
idly, as I looked at them, that
some day they’d come loose and
drop into the hole. And at the
thought I squirmed around a
little to one side, so that if they
took a notion to fall I’d not be
in the line of fire.
Looking down, saw that I’d
I my back against one side of the
not fallen to the bottom of the
hole, for the hole went on, deep-
er in the ground. I had come to
rest at a point where the hole
curved sharply, to angle back
beneath the swale top.
I hadn’t noticed it at first, I
suppose because I had been too
SMALL DEER
and shook up, but now I became
aware of a musky smell. Not an
overpowering odor, but a sort of
scent — faintly animal, although
not quite animal.
A smooth-sided hole and a
musky smell — there could be no
other answer: I had fallen not
into just an ordinary hole, but
into a burrow of some sort. And
feet it must be the burrow of quite
an animal, I thought, to be the
size it was. It would have taken
something with hefty claws, in-
deed, to have dug this sort of
burrow.
And even as I thought it, I
heard the rattling and the scrab-
bling of something coming up the
burrow, no doubt coming up to
find out what was going on.
did some scrabbling myself. I
I didn’t waste no time. But
about three feet up I slipped. I
grabbed for the top of the hole,
but my fingers slid t’nrough the
sandy soil and I couldn’t get a
grip. I shot out my feet and stop-
ped my slide short of the bottom
of the hole. And there I was, with
hole and my feet braced against
the other, hanging there, half-
way up the burrow.
While all the time below me
the scrabbling and the clicking
sounds continued. The thing,
whatever it might be, was getting
closer, and it was coming fast.
137
 Right in front of me was the
nest of rocks sticking from the
wall. reached out and grabbed
I valley side of the swale, ! might
the biggest one and jerked and
it came loose. It was heavier than
I had figured it would be and
almost dropped it,
to hang on.
A snout came out
in the burrow and thrust
quickly upward in a grabbing
motion. The jaws opened up and
they almost filled the burrow
and they were filled with sharp
and wicked teeth.
I didn’t think. I didn’t plan.
What I did was instinct, I drop-
ped the rock between my spread-
out legs straight down into that
gaping maw. It was a heavy rock
and it dropped four feet or so
and went straight between the
teeth, down into the blackness of
the throat. When it
ed and the paws snapped shut
and the creature backed away.
How I did it, I don’t know, but
I got out of the hole. I clawed
and kicked against the wall and
heaved my body up and rolled
out of the' hole onto the naked
hillside.
Naked, that is, except for the
bush with 'the inch-long thorns,
the one that I’d jumped over be-
fore i fell into the burrow. It
was the only cover that there
was and I made for the upper
side of it, for by now, I figured,
the big cattle drive had gone
138
past me and I could get the
if
bush between myself and the
have a chance. Otherwise, sure
as hell, one of those dogs would
I see me and would come out to
but managed bring me in.
For a while there was no ques-
of the curve tions that they were dinosaur
itself herders, they probably couldn’t
tell the difference betv/een me
and a dinosaur. 1 was ali've and
could run and that would qualify
me.
There was always the chance,
of course, that the owner of the
burrow would come swarming
out, and if he did I couldn’t stay
behind the bush. But I rather
doubted he’d be coming out, not
right away, at least. It would
take him a while to get that stone
out of his throat.
hit it splash-
crouched behind the bush and
I the sun was hot upon my
back and, peering 'through the
branches, I could see, far out on
the valley floor, the great herd
of milling beasts. All of them
had been driven together and
there they were, running in a
knotted circle, while outside the
circle prowled the pinkish dogs
and something else as well —
what appeared to be men driv-
ing tiny cars. The cars and men
were all of the same color, sort ,-i
of greenish gray, and the two of
them, the cars and men, seemed
GALAXY
to be a single organism. The men
didn’t seem to be sitting in the
cars; they looked as if they grew
out of the cars, as if they and the
cars were one. And while the
cars went zipping along, they
appeared to have no wheels. It
was hard to tell, but they seemed
to travel with the bottom of them
flatupon the ground, like a
would travel, and as they
elled, they rippled, as if the
of the car were some sort of flow-
ing muscle.
1 crouched there watching and
now. for the first time, I had a
chance to think about it, to try
to figure out what was going on.
I had come here, across
than sixty million years, to see
some dinosaurs, and I sure
seeing them, but under what you
might say were peculiar circum-
stances. The dinosaurs fit, all
right. They looked mostly like
the way they looked in books,
but the dogs and car-men were
something else again. They were
distinctly out of place.
The dogs v/ere pacing back and
forth, sliding along in their sinu-
ous and the car-men
fashion,
were zipping back and forth, and
every once in a while one of the
beasts would break out of the
circle and the minute that it did,
a half dozen dogs and a couple
of car-men would race to inter-
cept it and drive it back again.
The circle of beasts must have
SMALL DEER
had roughly, a diameter of a
mile or more — a mile of milling,
frightened creatures. A lot of pal-
eontologists have wondered
whether dinosaurs had any voice
and I can tell you that they did.
They were squealing and roaring
and quacking and there were
some of them that hooted — I
snail think it was the duckbills hoot-
trav- ing,but I can’t be sure
body Then, all at once, there was
another sound, a sort of flutter-
ing roar that seemed to be com-
ing from the sky. I looked up
quickly and I saw them coming
down —a dozen or so spaceships,
they couldn’t have been anything
more but spaceships. They came down
rather fast and they didn’t seem
was too big and there were tails of
thin, blue flame flickering at
their bases. Not the billowing
clouds of flame and smoke that
our rockets have, but just a thin
blue flicker.
For a minute it looked like
one of them would land on top
of me, but then I saw that it was
too far out. It missed me, mat-
ter of fact, a good two miles or
so. It and the others sat down
in a ring around the milling herd
out in the valley.
should have known what
I would happen out there. It
was the simplest explanation one
could think of and it was logical.
I think, maybe, way deep down.
139
I did know, but my surface mind
had pushed it away because it
was too matter-of-fact and too
ordinary.
Thin snouts spouted from the
shipsand purple fire curled mist-
ily atthe muzzle of those snouts
and the dinosaurs went down in
a fighting, frightened, squealing
mass. Thin trickles of vapor
drifted upward from the snouts
and out in the center of the circle
lay that heap of dead and dying
dinosaurs, all those thousands of
dinosaurs piled in death.
It is a simple thing to tell, of
course, but it was a terrible thing
to see. I crouched there behind
the bush, sickened at the sight,
startled by the silence when all
the screaming and the squealing
and the hooting ceased. And
—
shaken, too not by what shakes
me now as I write this letter, but
shaken by the knowledge that
something from outside could do
this to the earth.
For they were from outside. It
wasn’t just the spaceships, but
those pinkish dogs and gray-
green car-men which were not
cars and men, but a single organ-
ism, were not things cf earth,
could not be things of earth.
I crept back from the bush,
keeping low in hope that the
bush would screen me from the
things down in the valley until I
reached the swale top. One of
the dogs swung around and look-
140
ed my way and I froze, and after
a time he looked away.
Then I was over the top of the
swale and heading back toward
the time machine. But half way
down the slope, I turned around
and came back again, crawling
on my belly, squirming to the
hilltop to have another look.
It was a look I’ll not forget.
The dogs and car-men had
swarmed in upon the heap of
dead dinosaurs, and some cf the
cars already v.'ere crawling back
toward the grounded spaceships,
which had let down ramps. The
cars were moving slowly, for
they were heavily loaded and the
loads they carried were neatly
butchered hams and racks of
ribs.
And in the sky there was a
muttering and I looked up to see
yet other spaceships coming
down —the little transport ships
that would carry this cargo of
fresh meat up to another larger
ship that waited overhead.
It was then I turned and ran.
I reached the top of the hill
and piled into the time machine
and set it at zero and came
home. I didn’t even stop to hunt
for the binoculars I’d dropped.
A nd now that I am home, I’m
not going back again. I’m
not going anywhere in that time
machine. I’m afraid of what I
might find any place I go. If
GALAXY
Wyalusing College has any need
of it, I’ll give them the time ma-
chine.
But that’s not why I wrote.
There is no doubt in my mind
what happened to the dinosaurs,
why they became extinct. They
were killed off and butchered
and hauled away, to some other
planet, perhaps many light years
distant, by a race which looked
upon the earth as a cattle range
—a planet that could supply a
vast amount of cheap protein.
But that, you say, happened
more than sixty million years
ago. This race did once exist. But
in sixty million years it would
almost certainly have changed its
ways or drifted off inits hunting
out the dinosaurs, they learned
their lesson,and left Africa for
breeding stock.
And now I come to the point
of this letter, the thing that has
me worried.
Today there are just a few less
than three billion of us humans
in the world. By the year 2,000
tliere may be as many as six bil-
lion of us.
We’re pretty small, of course,
and these things went in for ton-
nage, for dinosaurs and mastodon
and such. But there are so many
of us! Small as we are, we may
be getting to the point where
we’ll be worth their while.
—CLIFFORD D. SIMAK.

to some other sector of the gal-

axy, or, perhaps, have become
extinct, like the dinosaurs.
Butdon’t think so. I don’t
I

think any of those things hap-

pened. I think they’re still

around. I think earth may be

only one of many planets which
supply their food.
And I’ll tell you why I think
so. They were back on earth
again, I’m sure, some 10,000 or
1 1 ,000 years ago, when they
killed off the mammoth and the
mastodon, the giant bison, the
great cave bear and the sabre-
tooth and a lot of other things. Prevent heartbreak and hunger
Oh, yes, I know they missed Af- across the world — each dollar
rica. They never touc.hed the big sends a Food Crusade package
game there. Maybe, after wiping through CARE, New York 10016.

SMALL DEER 141

 —

^'T^he hardcover science-fiction though they were essentially

-* books of today are of course one-man operations started by
published by the same people people who had scraped together
who publish the straight fiction a little capital or credit. In some
and mysteries and westerns hope of profit, they were in the
Doubleday, Simon 8b Schuster business of reprinting what each
and so forth. This wasn’t always personally considered the best
so; it didn’t begin to be so until magazine science fiction pub-
about the time, fifteen years ago, lished to that date.
when this magazine’s first issue What they produced was var-
began a similarly meaningful ious. It varied from one com-
revolution on the newsstands. In pany’s systematic resurrection of
1950, the biggest names in sf every big name undermined by
—
books almost the only names the new techniques of the 1940s
were Arkham House, Fantasy Astounding, through Hadley’s
Press, F.P.C.I., Gnome Press, editions of such interesting but
Hadley, Prime Press and Shasta. idiosyncratic pieces as L. Ron
Some of them were on their way Hubbard’s Final Blackout, to
out, but these were isolated in- Arkham House’s beautifully
firmities: commercially fool-
a made volumes not only of How-
ish editorial policy in one in- ard Phillips Lovecraft but of
stance, the publisher’s personal A. E. van Vogt’s Sian and Ray
circumstances in another. As a Bradbury’s first and best collec-
group they were promising, tion, Dark Carnival.

142
 They did most of their business
by mail order; their ads were
column inches in the prozines,
mimeographed pages in the fan-
zines. But in any largish city you
could usually find one bookstore
which was not above stocking one
copy each for the nut trade, and
here and there you could find
booksellers who boasted that
they specialized in it.
1950 was about the time when
book review columns became reg-
ular features in the prozines. Be-
fore that, reviews, like books,
had been occasional pieces. They
had run as fillers at the bottoms
of pages short on story text, and
they were often obviously too
thrilled at the thought that any-
thing at all had found
into boards. By
volume
1950, the
had not only gotten high enough
to justify regular columns,
had gotten high enough to justify
a nice cathartic bent of expres-
sion when a bad one came
cause the bad ones were in hope-
less contrast to the good ones.
'’
od grant that such a luxuriant
C ' time will never again come
to science fiction book publish-
ing. The great board of top-
rank material waiting to be put
into books was the bittersweet re-
sult of persistent neglect. Writers
had lived, written and died with-
out ever seeing permanent pub-
lication. Most of them were not
GALAXY BOOKSHELF
specially conscious of great de-
privation in this area, however
— not very many people knew
the area existed. It was entirely
possible to be a science-fiction
fan in 1945 and not realize that
there had been a Golden Age
just before World War II; it was
only when these books began
coming out that the shape and
nature of that work became fully
apparent.
I would not want you to think
that I believe some cosmic switch
had clicked over in 1939 and
then back in 1944. Neither is it
true between these arbi-
that
trary dates Astounding Science
Fiction published seventy-two
issues of solid immortal litera-
its way ture while none of its competi-
tors did a thingbut move in
place. What Astounding did do,
it over a period of years, was to
develop and, until 1950, keep
writers who fairly often wrote a
in, be- certain broad type of story well.
It was a type of story which was
better received by articulate sci-
ence-fiction readers of those days
than was any other type of story;
those same readers were now
ready to buy these same stories
again in book form, and it so hap-
pened that a good number of peo-
ple who had never read that kind
of science fiction before were able
to share their taste.
The ASF “Golden Age” in sci-
ence fiction had been slightly an-
143
ticipated by a similar phenome-
non in crime fiction, with Dashiell
Hammett and Raymond Chan-
dler, among others, emerging
from the crumbled pages of Black
Mask. Apparently something just
before the War acted to create
pulp writers who were willing to
break out of the post-World War
I shell of neverland cliches which
persisted in the pulps until the
middle of the 1930s. It may have
been an echo of the same tough
attitude toward life that had
produced Hemingway and Stein-
beck in the “mainstream” some-
what earlier. Crime stories in the
new mode had been getting ser-
ious book publishing attention
all during World War II. Now
it was perhaps science fiction’s
turn. The material was there. The
new publishers picked it up and
made books of it.
Fantasy Press went back a lit-
tle farther, to publish the early
E.E. Smith and Stanley Wein-
baum as well as other forerun-
ners of “modern” science fiction
as these same book publishers
now proceeded to define it, creat-
ing sharp distinctions from the
past, and from Flash Gordon,
simply by running full notices of
previous publication and thus
making it clear where the “good”
— the most readable material—
had come from. Centering their
attention exactly on the Camp-
bellian writers were Gnome Press
144
and Shasta; while Shasta brought
out Heinlein’s Future History se-
ries, for example. Gnome was
busy doing Asimov’s Foundation
stories. Arkham House, Sian
aside, was meanwhile tending
toward selections from such
fantasy magazines as Weird
Tales and Unknown, which had
had little golden ages of their
own and which Fantasy Press’s
program also included. Prime
Press did a little of both, in-
cluding collections by Lester del
Rey ( .And Some Were Hu-
. .
man) and Theodore Sturgeon
{Without Sorcery) which split
their sources mainly between As-
founding and Unknown, and by
George O. Smith (Fenus Equila-
teral) which was without peer
as an example of ASF wiring-dia-
gram fiction. Shasta brought out
the Don A. Stuart stories {Who
Goes There?, Cloak of Aesir),
and Gnome did Van Vogt’s The
Mixed Men and Henry Kuttner’s
Gallegher stories {Robots Have
No Tails, by “Lewis Padgett”).
In other words, in the few
years between the end of the war
and the earliest 1950s, these var-
ious people with their varied re-
sources brought out the books
which are still the liver and
lights ofany permanent collec-
tion of good science fiction. Ran-
dom House had issued its legen-
dary Healy-McComas anthology,
Adventures in Time and Space,
GALAXY
and Crown had brought out Groff
Conklin’s A Treasury of Science
Fiction, but Gnome had counter-
ed with Martin Greenberg’s Men
Against the Stars, an entry fully
qualified to run in that field.
If it hadn’t been for the houses
listed in Paragraph One of
necessarily breathless history,
grown up science fiction might
have taken years to find a per-
manent place in literature via
the library catalogues. With the
few exceptions mentioned imme-
diately above, the established
major houses hadn’t touched
anything but Verne and Wells in
years, the only significant war-
time exceptions being Poc’^et’s
original paperback, The Pocket
Book of Science Fiction, and Vik-
ing’s Portable Novels oj Science.
Doth of these had been edited
and one assumes fought into life
by Donald Wollheim, who has
gone on to do his impressive job
of making bricks without stnaw
for Ace paperbacks. He, Healy
and McComas, Groff Conklin
and a few others might eventual-
ly have succeeded by applying
unremitting pressure over a
long period of time. The little
specialist houses, operating out
of lofts, book stores and their
owners’ basements, cut that time
dramatically short. They made
the 1950s into boom year . .
from which they themselves
would draw little but disaster.
GALAXY BOOKSHELF
T)y 1951, these people had ac-
complished two major things,
both suicidal. They had exhaust-
ed the supply of easily found,
high-quality reprints from the
magazines, and they had estab-
lished the financial value of the
this sf book market. They had gotten
to that point because you can
succeed with almost any sensible
small venture in publishing as
long as you’re not doing some-
thing the potential major com-
petitors want to do as well. At
that point, the first Science Fic-
tion Book Club had appeared on
the back cover of a prozine. Ex-
cept for differences of detail, it
looked and read exactly like its
sister ads for the Detective Book
Club, which had been riding the
back covers of the crime maga-
zines for years. Merchandising
had come to the business of pub-
lishing sf books for profit, and
the incidence of major company
names on new sf titles had be-
gun to rise sharply.
A major publishing house has,
by definition, the equipment
needed to be a major publisher
—a staff of editorial specialists,
a production staff which does
nothing all day but buy supplies
and services having to do with
publishing and a sales staff which
can consist of hundreds of speci-
. alists, some of them out on the
road calling on bookstore owners
they have known for years and
145
others sitting home and writing
punchy brochure copy. This is
what these people do for a living.
They have been trained for it un-
der the impetus of believing that
this is all they can do for a liv-
ing. They are paid to do their
one thing at least as well as their
opposite numbers at the next ma-
jor house. With this sort of or-
ganization, it is possible to pro-
duce a million copies of some-
thing that may look and be frac-
tionally better than the work of
one busy man working for him-
self. If you have a hundred such
specialists, they can produce, say,
ten times as many things to make
a million copies of.
Once such major organization
a book club operations owned more
has been put in train, it is com-
mitted by the inertia of sched-
ules and capital investment. The
sight of a major publishing com-
pany winding up to give birth
to a new program is so impres-
sive that few of its rivals can
restrain themselves from follow-
ing suit. Once the herd has been
set in motion it must, by the
nature of the beast, proceed along
the line of least resistance for an
indefinite period of time, leaving
nothing in its wake but a stubble
of grasses cropped too short to
sustain life.
fn the area of wholesale book-
JL selling, the brief contention
was thus between the specialists
146
in science fiction and the spe-
cialists in publishing. In the area
of simple packaging — of pro-
ducing at a profit a book which
appears to be worth the retail
customer’s money —
the contest
was only a little longer in the
drawing out. It was in fact ex-
tended past its natural run by
something like a happenstance.
The merchandising machinery
having gotten turned on, the var-
ious sales organizations sponsor-
ed by the major publishers im-
mediately needed more product
than the publishers themselves
were yet able to furnish. So for
a little while the small houses
were able to supply copies to the
by their direct competitors.
or less
Thus they acquired a little more
money to operate on, at the same
time that their choice of produc-
tion standards was sharply nar-
rowed to the more expensive
bands of the book-making spec-
trum.
What this meant for the retail
customers was that more con-
ventional-looking science fiction
books in far greater quantities
had become available. Shopping
for books became considerably
more convenient. Book prices
were reduced, in several senses;
over the short terms, there was
the benefit of having the speci-
alist houses throw their stocks
on the cut-rate market in an
GALAXY
effort to get hold of additional I, Robot, why in Heaven’s name
working capital or simply to bail couldn’t a giant outfit like Dou-
out. Over the long term, book bleday do better than Nelson
prices were reduced (not abso- Bond’s Lancelot Biggs series dis-
lutely, but relative to the still guised as a novel? Answer, Dou-
rising cost of production) by the bleday wasn’t about to do I, Ro-
combination of high-volume sales bot —
yet. Gnome’s excellently
and production economies of manufactured edition, with its
which only major publishers are flossy Cartier jacket making it
capable. look exactly like a big-time book,
In fact, the only place the sf was still very much on sale. Dou-
book-reading public lost anything bleday would of course get to
tangible at all was one from itin the course of time, but mean-
which the small publishers could while there was Max Ehrlich’s
not have rescued them, but from The Big Eye, that was
and
which the big publishers could. science fiction too. You
could tell
That was in the paucity of re- by the rocket on the title page.
maining publishable book-length
material. The result was that the t wasn’t all bad. Gnome’s City,
middle 1950s v/ere bad years for I by Clifford Simak, was the
quality,and looked worse by outstanding example of a pasteup
comparison to the immediate that had been begging to be done.
past. Doubleday’s The Martian Chro-
The middle 1950s were the from that time
nicles dates a —
years in which we got the beautiful Bradbury collection
“novels” pasted together from se- which owes part of its charm to
ries short stories, the “science fic- the loose connecting passages be-
tion” by outside writers who had tween stories, which may be the
obviously seen a monster movie fragile vestiges of earlier plans
once and the unfortunate experi- to make a novel. Simon 85
ments in hapless antiquarianism Schuster did take the bit in its
reminiscent of that pioneering teeth and publish an edition
California company which had of Sian. Grossett 85 Dunlap
staked its all on Ralph Milne came out with a mass-priced
Farley. edition of Henry Kuttner’s Fury.
These were the years in which Frederick Fell, hitherto known
knowledgeable critics lambasted as the promulgator of Oscar J.
the major companies day and Friend’s The Kid from Mars —
night. If Gnome Press had been which is not quite as bad as its
able to bring out Isaac Asimov’s title — began publishing the
GALAXY BOOKSHELF 147
Bleiler-Dikty annual ‘best” col-
lections of magazine
whic/i served the function of pro-
viding the cinderblock base for
Judith Merril to later build big-
ger and better for Simon 86
Schuster and Dell. And Twayne,
another small but nevertheless
full-scale publisher wh., hoped to
ride up among the majors on the
strength of this new boom, did
something very interesting with
its “Triplet” series, fostered by
Fletcher Pratt and Dr. John D.
Clark.
These were anthologies of
three novellas each by three ma-
jor sf writers, who were given a
loose outline of a basic
problem and a detailed descrip-
tion of the solar system in which
it was to occur, each writer then
going his own way as he saw fit.
This was one attempt to create
books. With all the will and bud-
get in the world, the science-fic-
tion magazines of that time could
only supply the best of the new
gout of wordage the book pub-
lishers now needed as they jock-
eyed for control of the market.
They couldn’t supply all of
a long shot.
Perforce, the book publishers
had to be willing to pay enough
for original material so that
writers could be induced to oc-
casionally forego the magazines
as a primary market
No publisher in the world ever
148
pays more than he has to, but the
stories, major publishers have people
trained to pay that minimum
with checks drawn on impres-
sive banks, and with cheerily
mesmerrhetic references to the
freemasonry of the arts. In this
case the book publishers were not
only broadening the primary
market for original sf, they were
now applying the coup de grace
to the little specialists, as well as
.shaking off the coattail riders in
their own ranks.
Twayne was one oi the com-
panies which dropped out of the
picture. But its program left
some significant orphans. Among
story the ultimate results of Fletcher
Pratt’s brainchild was James
Blish’s Hugo-winning A Case oj
Conscience, which ran as a long
one-parter in If before expanding
up to its prize book length. Two
other Twayne stories, an Asimov
and a Poul Anderson, appeared
as serials in Astounding. In its
own leflhanded way, this was the
first major important
case of
work being fed from a book pub-
lisher into the magazines a —
it, by complete reversal of the estab-
lished precedence.
A t about this same time, two
good ^ other interesting things hap-
pened.
A publisher of paperback
originals got on the stands with
his edition of a middling-impor-
GALAXY
 —
tant novel before it had finished the apprenticeship that magazine
running as a serial in Astound- work forces on its steady practi-
ing. And Doubleday published tioners. These flat souffles are
Cyril Kornbluth’s Takeoff, a ma- in turn subjected to the atten-
jor novel by a major magazine tions of blurb writers and sales
writer, which had seen no maga- promotion directors who des-
zine publication at all. cribe and package them to be
After the inevitable stumbling more attractive and rewarding
start, the big book houses were than they really are.
getting their programs into full It is my fervent hope that
flight. In every other impor- these easy promises will have
tant field of magazine fiction, their effect; that the second or
most of the long serials had in third time the customer is in-
fact been already under contract duced to part with four dollars
as books. That had now become for a two-dollar experience, a
the situation in science fiction, as certain chill will settle over the
well, and with various ups and romance.
downs, that is the situation today. In looking over the titles pro-
In all, it took the major houses duced by the pioneers of 1950
about five years, from 1950 to not all of whom were honest
1955, to make it so. men with the look of far hori-
After ten years, this pendulum zons in their eyes, and some of
may now be getting ready to whom rooked their customers
swing back the other v/ay. Too and writers unmercifully, some-
many new (novels) are not form- times from sheer naivete one —
er magazine — however
serials is struck by how odd a profession-

arrived at — but puffed-up nove- al production man for, say, Big-

lettes. Some of them were books gers 8s Better & Sons Co. would
all along, cut down for magazine find them. He might forgive them
use. But by far the greater per- for the early “hardcover” book
centage are not —
they are pad- which was bound in limp lea::iier
ded, patched together or pub- by the only bindery in town and
lished in a design form that looks exactly like a bible, or for
makes a lousy forty thousand the jobs which were obviously
words stretch across too many done on flatbed weekly newspa-
pages which are mostly margin per presses. He might under-
and elephantiasical type. They stand that the publishers were
are sometimes written by third- limited in their choices of pro-
rate writers who are being over- duction methods and sources of
paid in compensation for missing supply for such things as paper
GALAXY BOOKSHELF 149
and binding cloth. He, a book they didn’t even realize they had
designer and a professional pack- failed. They didn’t even know,
et copywriter might have the beyond a vague sense of some-
patience to understand that the thing not quite right, why their
publishers of these books had to books felt harder to read than a
handle those functions them- similar text composed and de-
selves and could not really be signed by a man drawing fifteen
faulted for not having as much grand a year from Biggers Sa Bet-
esthetic sense or writing ability ter — mostly for having on file
as they had editorial judgment the phone numbers of all the dis-
. .01 whatever it was they had. play type houses in town.
It is after all a truism in big- They weren’t all like that, of
time publishing that talent is ex- course. The bigger outfits, like
actly as deep as frosted glass par- Gnome and Shasta, farmed out
tition. What would puzzle and most problems to com-
of these
dismay the production man would mercial book manufacturers. Ark-
be the frequent appearance of ham House and Fantasy Press
expensive interior halftone illus- books are distinguishable from
strations — often done in the today’s commercial products by
publisher’s best self-taught style the simple fact that they are
— tipped in on expensive en- among the best-looking items in
ameled stock; the use of opulent your library. But there is not one
text papers, of foundry type, of in which the careful eye will not
cut initials, of attempts at full- detect some trace of ingenuous-
color reproduction of jacket de- ness, some certain sign that the
signs which were often even publisher concerned was copying
worse than the interior illustra- what he remembered from the
tions. books of his youth —
the J. Al-
These were struggling people. len St. John illustrations in his
They typed their own invoices, pre-War Grossett 8e Dunlap Tar-
wrapped their own product and zan books, the creamy paper of
stood in line at the post office the days when pulp forests were
to mail it, walking back to their not yet the property of news-
thirty-dollar-a-month offices with paper cartels.
sheafs of stamps sticking out of These are the things that catch
their shirt pockets. Almost to a the eye as one leafs through one
man, they thought they could of these productions. They are
solve problems that have wreck- the signs of love, dreams and
ed the careers of professional spirit, even among the scoundrels.
specialists, and almost to a man —ALGIS BUDRYS
150 GALAXY
 BY FRITZ LEIBER

They were fearing our world

down atour. ^ i,:. Too ban' they
weren't tearing us down tool

tt^"T^hey don’t build slums like ed, slapping aside the dodderer’s
they used to,” VVhitey hands and thumbing the blue
Edwards told me, reaching up elastic panel back in place with
for a loose corner of the flexo a fast rub along its adhesive
and pulling it down to prove his edge. Again it decently covered
point. It domed springily over the flaccid tangle of what looked
our dreg-bottomed coffee cups, like rainbow-hued sheep’s gut
revealing in the hidden space and rubber unmentionables. “But
behind it the limp multicolored they built Ma like a bull and
spaghetti of the utilities piping: she’ll gore and trample you if
gas, water, metered syntho-milk, she finds you tearing down her
sewage, coaxed TV, med-mist, kitchen. It’s bad enough what
Musik, robo-talk, robo-juice, the giant centipedes are doing.”
tele, vele, elec, gelec, and such. The jumbo TV, jammed be-
Few of them running fat with tween sink and fridge flickered
their peculiar contributions to weak and ghostly. A gaggle of
the good life, I judged. and eight-job
five-job wives men
“That may be so,” I answer- were having a closed-end dis-
cussion of everything in creation started to tell Whitey 1 had
on the executive patio edge of I even more current job-sorrows
a swimming pool big enough to than his. Since Thursday I’d
hide a space-to-seabottom cruis- been terminated from my street-
er. Their sweet eldritch cackle smiler’s job for competing with
was unintelligible, but their state the psychiatrists, robot and hu-
of undress was a slight counter- man, and for all I know with
irritant to boredom. the giant centipedes. Just then
Whitey Edwards sighed, not my brother Dick erupted from
looking at these suburban god- the bed-closets, throwing clothes
desses, but squinting his rheumy over his sallow nakedness like a
eyes against the Monday sun Gypsy escaping from a Nazi gas
coming up like doom over the chamber —
or as if he were a
dusty flats between Beatsville six-job man at least and not a
and the Henleys’ happy if fragile sprint-in-the-gutter one- jobber.
little family castle. Earth’s spot- And with that job only since
ted, spitting, seething star shot Friday night after being three
its angry rays under the great weeks on probationary relief.
awning rigged in front of our I called sweetly at him, “Are
windows and door. you scared a customer vi/ill put
“Once,” the old boy said, shak- a gush of quarters into one of
ing the head -topping that gave your metal bandits with her own
him his name, “they built slums little pinkies if you’re a minute
solid with steel beams and heavy late?”
lath and great bloody pipes of Dick scowled, gyrating around
iron and tile and lead that made a stubborn trouser leg. “Don’t
’em think twice before they tore you worry, Dickie,” I kejit on.
’em down. But now .” He . . “All the women psyched
I illicitly

sighed his wheezy grief. Whitey’d were as nervous of machinery as

used to be a con-and-destruc- sex, they wanted a man to do it
tion worker decades back, be- for them.”
fore the robots took that over, Society, graciously, used to let
before I was born. people work vending and other
The TV zoomered in on a coin - operated machines, like
taut little job in bolero jacket laundromats. But now, like laun-
and loincloth. The sound clear- dromats too, you have to pay
ed for her fast happy words an attendant to do it for you —
“. . . caring for this pool put because machines are tempera-
my husband and I in the pool- mental and individual enterprise
counselor raquette . . and died. is almost as holy as money and

152 GALAXY
anyway, there aren’t enough jobs
to go around more than two or
three times.
Dick groggled something at
and got the door open, all
for a spring-heel take-off. But
there in his way was a tiny
man, dressed like a respectable
beetle, with dimpled fist raised
to knock. He had glasses with
zoomer lenses; silver antennae
quivered out of his gray hat; a
flat black belly-box was his ven-
tral carapace. He looked around,
especially at the cluttered floor,
as if we were a touch unsavory,
but he held his ground.
As Dick paused at this
eopterous apparition, Ma came
charging out of the bed-closets,
red in the face and black was
the rest of her. She grappled
Dick around the elbows and roar-
ed, “Stop! No son of mine is
going out to give battle to the
21st Century on an empty stom-
ach.” Grabbing a quarter orange
she shoved it between his teeth
like a boxer’s mouthpiece and
then snatching this way and that
she slammed a sandwich in his
one hand and a cup in the other
and on the next time around
poured it steaming full.
"VTo one can deny that
^ stands squarely in back of
her four sons, like the manager
of a quartet of fistic champions,
conscious of our genius and de-
THE GOOD NEW DAYS
termined that it get recognition
in the form of seven- or eight
Though at the mo-
job careers.
me ment Dick was the only one of
set us with any job at all, except
for Tom, who lives away with his
wife and two kids. But obstruc-
tions and set-backs never daunt
Ma. It’s not the money she’s
after, mostly, it’s the glory of
the House of Henley pitted
against the whole bloody world.
Pricked by tender filial warmth
I eyed her —
a murderous son-
punishing behemoth but my
blessed mother —
while Whitey
gave her an unseen wave. He’s
col- an old admirer she tolerates ever
since Pa recognized her superior
nuclear power and died.
Dick bit out and swallowed
the meat of the orange and ton-
gued aside the peel so as to yell
that the coffee was burning his
hand and what would it do to
his throat? Ma
ripped the fridge
open against the pull of the
great spring I’d fixed outside to
keep it shut since the latch
broke. She whisked out an ice-
cube and tucked it in Dick’s cup.
The fridge door thudded shut
and the spring whirred like a
rattlesnake about to jump loose
and strike, but it didn’t.
Ma Then Dick gulped his coffee
while Ma held him and screech-
ed in his ear about using lunch
hour to scout for a second job
and not stalk girls. When he’d
153
finished his drink, she gagged ly, a peanut-vendor strolling
him with his sandwich and let across the ring. The red in her
him go. face went purple and she slowly
The beetle-man dodged aside. reached for the bubbling coffee
Dick took off with a straight- flask and slowly lifted it. The
line velocity that would have beetle-man innocently watched
broken his neck and scattered the lethal globe ascend with its
his bones if we’d still been living tip-tilting seething brown hemi-
on the twentieth floor and not core, as if all this were a job-
in thisground-level flat they indoctrination demonstration in
tricked us into exchanging for. astrophysics.
The TV blinked and presto — Whitey started up, but I push-
— there was a soldierly file of ed him back in his chair, saying
eight-job men (tabbed for that rapidly, “Not you. Even being
by the digit on their left shoul- an old friend of the family
der) single-footing with pleasant wouldn’t save you from the horns
monotony past the golden plas- at this moment.”
tic statue of a twelve- jobber. Then I rasped loud as ambu-
Each as he reached screen-cen- lance-brakes at Ma, “Hold your
ter turned head and shouted an hand, you murdering old frump!”
inaudible by optimistic some- She turned at once, as I’d
thing at me and bared all his known she would. I cited her
perfectly tended teeth in a daz- and she charged me with the
zling grin. coffee flask high, very much like
a small Miura, but armed in a
breathed a happy sigh and fashion to have made Manolete
I got set for a spell of quiet himself turn pale. But I slipped
— at least until the centipedes her with a half veronica and as
decided to start scuttling but — she went past I kissed her low
just then the beetle-man poked on the back of the neck, Just at
his head in and piped politely the spot where the matador’s
at Ma, “Good morning, Mrs. sword goes in. I whisked my
Henley, I’m your area med stat- arms around her beloved thick
istician, come to take your blood- waist, and the next instant she
pressure and photo-snap your and Whitey and I were as happy
insides and all for posterity, like as tin larks together flitting
we arranged for a week ago.” through a sparkling star cluster,
Ma
slowly turned her head and and she was pouring fresh tof-
glared at him like a bull that fee for us.
spots the matador, or, more like- But the bettle-man, never

154 GALAXY
 ”

dreaming the deadly peril he’d far, and piped soothingly, “Mrs.
been in, advanced another step Henley, there’s nothing vulgar or
into the kitchen and called, “Mrs. inferior about robo med. The
Henley, it’s very needful you Secretary of Mental Health him-
have your medical inspection. self prefers
—
” he started to take
You’re distorting area med stat- another step into the room.
istics and there are drastic pen- “That old sham!” Ma roared,
alties for evading med census. palpitating my grasp and
in
No need for you to undress, just purpling dark. “He’s the same
hold still now —” one whose minions are forever
sentencing my genius son Harry
pushed the coffee flask back to the clutches of the remedial
I against the wall and I stroked psychiatrists.”
Ma as I held her tight, so she “But Mrs. Henley,” the little
didn’t go quite as purple as she fellow went on with rash cour-
howled at him, “You filthy med- age, “I can see with my own
spy! —do you think I’ll submit eyes you’re not in the best of
to your peepings and be stuff for health. An immediate med-
your filt'ny pictures when I’m check —
not granted decent human med That gave me my
opening and
service if I do sicken? Here I I shoved Ma into Whitey’s arms

have four grand sons, supermen and advanced on the beetle-man

all — Meaghan here, who’s a quickly, wavering my finger like
master mind doctor, and Harry a sword between his bug eyes.
who’s still in bed, the greatest “You watch yourself, lad,” I

poet in the world, and Dick the cried, “or they’ll be terminating
Prince of Personalities, whom you for making diagnoses who
you saw speeding to work and I are only a census-taker. That’s
need not comment on, and Tom, what the licensed psychers did
who’s a bloody wonder and — to me for adding only a few
the filthy world takes so little words of insight and wisdom Co
note of them that if I go to the my street-smiling.”
clinic it’s only robot doctors At that very moment a ghost-
who’ll see me and never a flesh- ly pattering began and swiftly
and-blood physician!” grew louder. It seemed to come
Whatever the topic of her rant, from everywhere.
Ma always gets in a commercial “What’s that?” the little chap
for her boys. asked wonderingly.
The beetle-man quivered back “The giant centipedes,” I told
a little at all that, but not very him.

THE GOOD NEW DAYS 155

T T e paled and his zoomered
eyes searched the shadows
under table and sink as he scut-
tled backwards, and just at that
moment, perhaps from the floor
being swayed by our movements,
the great spring on the fridge
came loose and went klishing
across the floor very close to
his feet —a twenty-inch coil of
gray wire. He leaped for the lin-
tel of the doorway to hoist him-
self out of reach of the veno-
mous monster of his imagination,
but he missed and fell and went
leaping off as if old Fu-Manchu’s
whole blessed menagerie were at
his heels. In pure pity I follow-
ed him under the great awning,
polka -dotted now by the shad-
ows showing through of the stuff
pattering down on it, and caught
up with him just beyond the
mounting flake-drift.
“Don’t be frightened,” I told
him, grappling him gently and
forcing him to lift his zoomers
to the ragged-topped wall be-
hind, now only four to six stories
high instead of the thirty it had
been a week ago. Along its roll-
er coaster margin two sinuous
many-legged great silver beasties
scampered, chomping great bites
out of it and raining the digest-
ed fragments down from their
rear ends in concrete cornflakes.
“Those are the giant centi-
pedes,” I explained. “Demolish-
ment robots, only.”
156
I was thinking of how Harry
might make a shuddery poem of
them: glittery cosmic crawlers
nibbling the gray rim of infinity,
eating their way in toward us
from the ends of the universe —
when at that instant a weightier
chunk, rejected by one of the
creature’s delicate digestive ap-
paratus, no doubt, came thank-
ing down like a meteor not four
feet from us, denting the hard
ground and raising a geyser of
dust. The beetle-man darted off
a dozen more steps while 1 duck-
ed back under the awning, calling
to him, “Now be off with you,
little official, and trouble Ma no
more. She’s too much for you,
but let that not cast you down.
Look on her as a revenant from
a hardier, crueller age —
a duch-
ess out of place.”
’d no sooner got back in the
I kitchen, where Ma and Whitey
were chatting over their coffee,
than Ellie, Dick’s wife, came out
of the bed-closets full-dressed
with bright suitcases in her hands
and a dirty dark look in her
eyes. She was saying, “Listen all
of you, for I’ll not tell it twice,
I’m leaving that one-job no-good
and going back to my last hus-
band, who’s still got the three
jobs I left him with when I
thought to better myself by en-
tering this house of mad pride
and sloth and poets snoring,” and
GALAXY
she brushed past me, the silver fix that, Meaghan,” and then her
spring twinging again as she beloved claws were propelling me
chanced to kick it. to a seat at the table flush
“Meaghan, let her go, who against the blue flexo, with my
can’t appreciate the Prince of cup in front of me and beyond
Personalities,” Ma said to me that Tom’s great face as full of
loftily,her color down to lady- a smile of eager elder-brother
like brightpink again, but I still benignity as my cup was of
would have followed and argued steaming coffee — Ma having
with Ellie —
Dick didn’t deserve poured again and dropped in a
to be deserted when he’d just pinch of dexy (I saw her) to
got a toe on the bottom rung of give me spirit.

the ladder, which of course was

why she was leaving him though A 11 the while I was thinking
she didn’t know it, a jealous no- chiefly. What job’s he found
job little wifey — except that now that’s so bad he won’t take
just then who should appear in it himself but offer "^t to me?
the doorway but my eldest broth- It’d have to be pretty bad, for
er, Tom, filling it with his big at last count Tom’s three jobs
grin and his great shoulders and were grinding mirrors for leisure-
his aura of three-job success — time astronomers who hadn’t
or would it be four now? and — time to grind their own that’s —
saying, “Hi, Ma. Ellie leaving one —and selling retailers a
Dick again? Who’s the tiny one brand of all-cornsilk cancer-free
hanging around outside? Hous- cigarets with the genuine coal-
ing official come to coax you tar taste and the nicotine life —
once more from this death trap? that’s two — and answering for
Hello, Whitey. No, no coffee, a robot answering service when-
Ma, I want to talk to Meaghan ever the decibal-rating of the
here. I’ve got something for the caller’s voice began to indicate
lad!” extreme rage. He still had the
I knew what that meant, of third job, at any rate, by the
course, and I was already hunch- phone-rig hanging around his
ed on my hands and knees, start- neck.
ing to fix the spring to the fridge “Meaghan,” he beamed, “next
again — a job that might easily to an all-girl squad of revivalist
take the rest of the day, I decid- angels, there’s naught so won-
ed — when I felt Ma’s kindly tal- drous as brother-love. I got
ons on my shoulders, lifting me something great for you. By the
up, and she saying, “Whitey’U by, I’ve Number Four myself
THE GOOD NEW DAYS 157
now — I travel in ladies’ glow- world is good for any longer?”
in-the-dark underthings.” And then I added, reckless in
As Ma raised a cheer at that, my light-heartedness, “You were
1 looked around for escape, but saying . .
.?”
Whitey was squatting at the “Meaghan,” Tom began again,
fridge and blocking the door to “I know you had this trifling
the outer world, as happy with street-smiler’s job —
his tinkering as a great-grand- “Not so trifling or iittle,” I
father cockroach (one of which defended, though I hadn’t in-
was walking up while
his leg) tended to. “The sociologists de-
Ma, cheering still but with a cided people looked too tense
policeman’s eye on me, was tak- and glum going back and forth
ing a cup of coffee big and smok- to work and shopping and so on,
ing as a volcano into the bed- so they hired folk like myself to
closets —
to fire Harry’s poetic mingle among ’em and strike up
genius, no doubt, or in lieu of talk, casual-like, to cheer ’em
that toss him on his lazy feet. up. Not quite the worst idea in
—
“Meaghan ” Tom began, but the world, either.”
just then his neck phone rang
and he twitched it on and I CC^Tes, but you went too far,”
could hear a voice like angry Tom reminded me. “You
wasps. Tom listened and his face pried into people’s minds to find
grew pink —
he takes after Ma their real troubles and set ’em
in that —
and he said, “Certain- straight. That’s psychers’ v/ork,
ly, madam.
However and — ’’
my lad, and you can’t blame that
then his face grew purple and august profession for resenting
he began to bubble his mouth your competition and having you
like a fish. terminated.”
leaned across the table and
I “I helped the people I talked
put my lips to the mouthpiece to,” I countered stubbornly. “I
and shouted, “I love you dearly, couldn’t have talked to them at
unknown, indeed I do. I love all, Tom, if I hadn’t something
you dearly, madam, brood upon solid to say.”
that,” and I tw'itched the thing “I loveyou dearly, madam,
off. brood upon that,” Tom said.
“That won’t satisfy her,” Tom “Solid!”
said when he got his right color “I don’t worry ’em or push any
back and his breath. of their desperation buttons,
“It will for twenty minutes," though I glimpsed banks of
I told him, “and what in this those,” I protested on. “1 just

158 GALAXY
encouraged ’em to widen their Ma around to hold her down.”
minds and feelings a little and “Ma’s all right,” I told him
get some of the comic side-wash more courage
.sharply. “She’s got
of others’ troubles and cheer up and determination and vision
naturally.” than the four of us’ll ever have
“There you’ve hit the nub of together. And such a fierce self-
it,” Tom asserted, wagging a fin- punishing drive I wonder she’s
ger in my face. “You tried to still alive. How would you ever

deliver more than your job call - have got out of here to a place
ed for, instead of learning to do of your own without Ma boot-
itwith a minimum of effort and ing you?”
finding another job to go with
it, to swell your income — and tt'T^rue, true,” he agreed.
then another after that.” He gave “Nevertheless, Ma’s a
a quick look around —
to make hopeless romantic. She wants her
sure Ma hadn’t come back, I four sons to be Dukes of the
soon realized —
and then lean- World, lording it over all.”
ing forward said with a confi- I couldn’t help chuckling at
dential hush, “Oh, Meaghan, my that, “When I was still street-
boy, I’ve learned so much of the smiling,” I confided, “a little
world since I got away from man, who thought he was a
here and Ma’s no longer firing great romantic, opened his mind
me with resentments and wild to me wanting only to escape
ambitions. The world’s a very from the prison of his life and
tidy comfortable place if only aim a flashing sword at other
you’ll remember there are three men and capture with love their
billion other lunatic climbers in women — and corral all the sin-
it —
and do no more than you’re gle girls going around loose too.
told and watch the smiles .and After we both looked at this
frowns of your superiors and stirring picture a while, we rea-
keep your eyes open and your what he really wanted
lized that
nostrils flared for flicker or scent was to have all women mother
of another chance to make mon- him and puff him up and lead
ey. Step fast, keep adding one him through life like a great
job to the next like beads
little bobbing red balloon.”
on a necklace, and forget Ma “That’s the way with all ro-
and her wild dreams. Oh and did mantics, including Ma,” Tom
I tell you my
Katie’s got two said, taking advantage of me
jobs herself now too? and — straightway. “She wants her sons
never a one she’d have had with , to be princes and kings, or board

THE GOOD NEW DAYS 159

chairmen at all events,
lizing there’s a billion
starting up the success-ladder
with them —
and not one with
a genuine ion drive. Not realiz-
ing that the competition’s
stiff any man to dream of
for
being more than an eight-job
statistic with his peers. Or ten
at most.”
The TV now was sailing over
a great pile of gently crumpled
bedclothes, which struck me as
most pleasant and unlikely. Then
I realized it was orbiting the
Earth high above the clouds and
there low in the foreground were
the backs of beautifully barber-
ed heads and now a sign flash-
ing across the clouds: “Vacation
Jaunts through Space for Nine-
Job Heroes of Democracy.”
“You’re right about the com-
petition,” I agreed quickly with
Tom. “I’m no enemy of
racy, I’m one of its darlingest
friends, but there’s no question
it’s upped the competition more
than ever it was in Earth’s his-
tory. We’ve got more machines,
more health, more freedom of
movement, more education, mcwe
leisure, more time for making
money in our spare time, more
almost equal people, and more
incentives, more quick showy re-
wards for the quickly successful
— with the result that the com-
petition burns us out fast enough
to equalize all the longevity
160
not rea- created by medical advance.”
others “It doesn’t seem to be burn-
ing you out,” Tom observed.
4<XJow listen here, Tom my
too ^ ^ boy,” I continued, warm-
ing tomy subject. “Isn’t there
something altogether crazy about
a world that wants to turn every-
one into merchants no matter
what their natural psychological
class —
a world that’s turned
even scientists and poets and
adventurers and soldiers and
priests into merchants busy sell-
ing themselves — a world that’s
feared so much that the machine
would take away all jobs that
it’s gone ape creating jobs and
financial ventures by the billions.
With each reduction in working
hours paralleled by an equal or
greater increase in time spent on
part-time and side-line jobs — a
democ- world that’s so money- conscious
that a man who takes his eyes
off the dollar for a month or a
day or even ten seconds —
“Your eyes don’t look red with
squinting at silver,” Tom observ-
ed like a lemon. “Besides, you’re
deafening me.”
Just then Ma came lumbering
daintily in again and asked Tom,
“What’s this wondrous jo’o
you’ve got for Meaghan? I can’t
wait any longer to hear.” Just
as if she hadn’t been hearing
every word and writhing at my
negativisms.
GALAXY

I groaned as
on the verge
if
of defeat. Tom laughed and
said, “1 was forgetting about
that. with Mea talking
What
of billions of jobs, my one gst
lost the stampede. Well, it
in
seems that the repair robots are
getting unpredictable every-
where, spending too much time
on some jobs and not enough
on others, and passing up still
others altogether. One repaired
a leak so well it built an armor
wall six feet thick around the
leak and himself —
Fortunata,
they called that one. Another
found a leak and did nothing
but start making identical leaks
in all the pipes he followed
until thousands of them
squirting behind him. A demo-
lition robot started shooting
rocks at a new-risen glastic
building. Yet the circuits of these
robots are in perfect order and
they always behave properly un-
der factory tests. So what must
be done is to have a man follow
each metal trouble-shooter and
note every move he makes,
watch his behavior day after
day —
taking weeks if necessary
so the robot will get used to
his presence and not vary his
behavior to please or confuse or
harm the watcher. Oh, it’s a
fine sort of job —
no work at all
— sort of like what they called
Sidewalk Inspecting back in the
depths of history.”
THE GOOD NEW DAYS
”
said, “I suppose the robots
I they’re having the most trou-
ble with are the ones that re-
pair heat-tunnels and sewers and
other delightful underground
conduits.”
“How did you know that?”
Tom asked me very quickly.
“Old sunken spillways and aqua-
ducts and chimneys too, though
— some of the last poking thou-
sands of feet high into the clear
heady air. A most healthful job,
—
my boyo a regular mountain-
climbing and spelunking vaca-
tion.”
I said softly, “I think I’d rath-
er drown parboiled in this coffee
— cup than play psychiatric aide to
were a manic genius robot with a
breakneck wander-urge who’s
waiting for his metal conscious-
ness to with its first
brighten
jeweled unhuman
pictures and
impulses. The
electricity-loving
machines are coming awake, did
you know that, Tom? All the
machines —
“No, it’s but one machine,” a
softer dreamier voice, mournful
as a breeze through dead leaves,
cut in on me. The adolescent
wraith with hair like blond spi-
derweb, who was Ma’s poet ge-
nius and my youngest brother
Harry, came drifting in from the
bed-closets as if blown rather
than walking. I could tell from
the light-year look in his blue
eyes that he’d conned his re-
161
medial psycher out of some pills.
He went on, “The whole Earth
is one great metal machine, a
dull steel marble amongst the
aggies and glassies of the other
planets. Ifanyone ever went out
there with earth-eyes and not a
spaceman’s, he’d see it rolling
along, over and over, like a great
silver shop-made tumblebug
spotted with cities and wet here
and there with oceans, blinking
the eyes of its ice-caps and smok-
ing its volcanos and folding and
unfolding its harrow-footed
space-crazy legs in time with the
phases of the moon. And if you
looked real close you’d see mil-
lions of fleas jumpin’ off it and
beginning the long fall to the
nadir.”
At that moment the TV jump-
ed to a 24-hour satellite star-
ward of Terra and showed us
the whole moonlit Earth backed
by the Milky Way, as if snared
by a diamond-dewy spiderweb.
Ma squeaked a proud sigh at
Harry’s words thus coming out
illustrated.
“Will you take the job?” Tom
rasped at me.
“Tomorrow I will for sure,”
I told him. “And that’s all the
Meaghan scorns it, how about
Harry. Think of it, Harry, you
always claim you want to be
alone. Roaming those cool tun-
nels and sewers all by yourself
except for some witless machine
you’ll catch onto in ten minutes.
You’ll have all the time and
quiet in the world to create your
poetry. Why, underground your
poetry will sprout like roots, I’m
sure, and run fast as crabgrass.”
“Ma,” Harry said, “sooner
than take that job I’d head for
Beatsville today rather than to-
morrow.”
“You wouldn’t do that, Har-
ry,” Ma wailed menacingly. “Tell
me you wouldn’t.” Ma’s always
prided herself that no matter
how slumlike we
live and close
to we’d never get
Beatsville,
there. In Beatsville they pretend
even worse than in the suburbs,
pretend to be supermen and pre-
tend to be animals, and creep
each night to the electrified
boundary to pick up the food
and drink left for them.
But Harry nodded again and
then Ma began yelling at Tom
that he was trying to break up
what was left of her family, hav-
ing splintered himself off first.

answer you’ll ever get from me Whitey came alive and flapped
— tomorrow or any other day.” his hands at her cautiously, like
a torero ready jump the
to
TV Ta
tapped her hoof and flash- fence. I slitted my eyes as if I
ed a rageful eye at me. were falling asleep. Tom
got red
“Tom,” she said to him, “if as Ma and said the hell with us,

162 GALAXY
he was going for good. So Ma
stamped this way and that, now
roaring at Harry and me for our,
sloth, now bellowing at Tom for
his disloyalty. Then she lifted
her arms to heaven and froze.
At that instant the beetle-man
popped into the doorway and
pointed his antennae at her. No
one saw him but me.
Tom’s face grew redder and
he gave a snort and turned on
his heel toward the door just
as the beetle-man ducked out of
sight. Tom had no sooner stamp-
ed out than the beetle-man pop-
ped in again behind him, waving
a gray-black transparency he’d
whipped from his black belly-
box.
“Mrs. Henley,” he piped rap-
idly, “I got a perfect shot of all
your insides, but that’s all that’s
perfect about it. You must come
to the clinic right away with me.
Your heart’s like a watermelon
and your aorta and pulmonary
like summer squash.” He wag-
gled a finger at me. “Diagnosis
by a med-spector is permissable
in dire emergencies.”
M
ing
a’s face went purple.
that instant I felt the build-
quiver from the top down
At
and a heartbeat later something
burst through tlie awning and
struck Tom as if he were a very
thick spike and it a hammer
driving him into the ground.
THE GOOD NEW DAYS
Ma screamed a great single
scream and took a step forward
and then stiffened and fell back
and I caught her in my arms
and lowered her to the floor and
pillowed her head. Outside I
could hear the beetle-man buzz-
ing into his neckphone for an
ambulance like the fool he was
— for Tom’s head was smashed
to the neck. Then I was wonder-
ing how Tom’s blood could have
got on Ma, for there was blood
on her chest and then more and
more of it, like a bull fallen from
the final thrust and pumping his
heart out, and then I realized
it was Ma’s blood from her lungs,
gurgling with her Cheyne-Stokes
breathing.
Whitey came fluttering down
at her other side.
Harry was standing looking at
us and he was trembling, and
then we heard the siren far off,
and then another, and then the
two of them coming closer fast,
and as they came closer and
their angry wailing grew louder,
Harry began to tremble more,
and as their sound burst into the
open of the razed blocks, he
cried,
he
“I’m off to Beatsville,”
and he was sprinting by the time
through the door.
v,^ent
I knew what was coming, al-
though there was nothing I could
do but hold Ma. Then I knew
that what was coming had come,
for there was a shout and a
163
great squealing of brakes and a of highly talented actors and
scream and a thud, and the actresses, all of them seven- job
brakes still squealing. folk and this the eighth job for
Then Ma
stopped breathing, all of them. Flights of smiles
but she looked angry.
still were going back and forth across
It was time before any-
a long the screen, like seagulls wheeling
one came in, I went on holding at sunset.
Ma and wiping her face clean, The
concrete cornflakes were
though it stayed red for all that. stillpattering on the awning. I
I heard one ambulance leave and marched us straight under the
then the other. Finally a doctor hole the rock had made that
came in, and the beetle-man too, killed Tom, and they pelted on
and the doctor looked at Ma our hair and shoulders and necks
and shook his head and said that like feathery hail.
if only she’d been med-checked We
climbed the flake-drift and
regularly it need never have I paused and turned round. The

happened, but I told him, “You giant centipedes were busily

didn’t know Ma.” And the crawling back and forth, the one
beetle-man buzzed into his neck- swinging aside most cleverly to
phone for an ambulance back. let the other pass. They’d chew-
I said, chokily, “She died ed their way here and there
brave, charging the muleta dead down to the second floor.
on, and I’m damned if I’ll award looked down to our shadow-
I
society a single hoof of her, let ed doorway with the faintest
alone the horns or the tail.” No flicker of TV still coming out
one got it. The beetle-man eyed of it, and I thought I’d like to
me and took a surreptitious note. drive a nail a mile long down
through the center of that room,
''T^hen for a while I was signing pinning it there forever, and en-
papers and listening to this grave in the head of the nail,
and that, but finally they were in letters a foot deep, “A Family
all gone, the living and dead, and Lived Here.”
I was alone with Whitey and I But that was a little beyond
remembered we ought to tell the scope of my engineering, so
Dick. pushing Whitey ahead of me, off
The TV was showing a great I went to tell Dick, laughing and
musical review with hundreds crying. — FRITZ LEIBER

-Ar

164 GALAXY
 by ISAAC ASIMOV

Five of them had come fo the pianef.

Four were dead. The other had only
one chance left — to live forever!

''T^he original combination of tinged eyeballs still open, and a

-* catastrophes had taken place fifthwas yet on his feet.
five years ago —
five revolutions But it was no question of hero-
of this planet, HC-12549d by the ism at all. It had been five men
charts, and nameless otherwise. fighting off boredom and des-
Six-plus revolutions of Earth, but pair and maintaining their metal-
who was counting —any more? lic bubble of livability only for
If the men back home knew, the most unheroic reason that
they might say it was a heroic there was nothing else to do
fight, an epic of the Galactic while life remained.
Corps; five men against a hostile If any of them felt stimulated
world, holding their bitter own by the battle, he never mentioned
for five (or six-plus) years. And it. After the first year, they
now they were dying, the battle stopped talking of rescue, and
Three were in final
lost after all. after the second, a moratorium
coma, a fourth had his yellow- descended on the word, “Earth.”

165
 —
But one word remained always intact was itself a near-mir u I
.-

present. If unspoken it had to be The five were given life for scr.ie
found in their thoughts; “Am- years at least. Beyond that, oaly
monia.” the blundering arrival of another
It bad come first while the ship could help, but no one ex-
landing was being scratched out pected that. They had had their
against all odds on limping mo- life’s share of coincidences, they
tors and in a battered space can. knew, and all had been bad.
You allow for bad breaks, of That was that.
course; you expect a certain And the key word was “am-
number —but
one at a time. A monia.” With the surface spirall-
stellar fries out the hyper-
flare ing upward, and death (merciful-
circuits —thatcan be repaired, ly quick) facing them at consider-
given time. A meteorite disaligns ably better than even odds, Chou
—
the feeder-valves they can be somehow had time to note the
straightened, given time. A tra- absorption spectrograph, which
jectory is miscalculated under was registering raggedly.
tension and a momentarily un- “Ammonia,” he cried out. The
bearable acceleration tears out others heard but there was no
the jump-antennae and dulls the time to pay attention. There was
senses of every man on board only the wrenching fight against
but antennae can be replaced a quick death for the sake of a
and senses will recover, given slow one.
time. When they landed finally, on
The chances are one in count- sandy ground with sparse, rag-
less many that all three will ged bluish vegetation; reedy
happen at once; and still less grass; stunted tree-like objects
that they will happen during a with blue bark and no leaves; no
particularly tricky landing when sign of animal life; and with
the one necessary currency for an almost greenish cloud-
the correction of all errors, time, streaked sky above the word —
is the one thing that is most came back to haunt them.
lacking. “Ammonia?” said Petersen
heavily.
'"T^he Cruiser John hit that one Chou said, “Four percent.”
chance in countless many, “Impossible,” said Petersen.
and it made a final landing, for But it wasn’t. The books
it would never lift off a planetary What the
didn’t say impossible.
surface again. Galactic Corps had discovered
That it had landed essentially was that a planet of a certain
166 GALAXY

mass and volume and at a certain
temperature was an ocean planet
and had one of two atmospheres;
nitrogen/oxygen or nitrogen/car-
bon dioxide. In the former case,
life was rampant in the latter, it
was primitive.
No one checked beyond mass,
volume and temperature any
longer. One took the atmosphere
(one or the other of them) for
granted. But the books didn’t say
it had to be so; just that it al-
ways was so. Other atmospheres
were thermodynamically pos-
sible, but extremely unlikely so
they weren’t found in actual
practice.
Until now. The men of the
Cruiser John had found one and
were bathed for the rest of such
life as they could eke out by a
nitrogen /carbon dioxide/ ammon-
ia atmosphere.
'^'^he men converted their ship
an underground bubble
into
of Earth-type surroundings.
They could not lift off the sur-
face, nor could they drive a com-
municating beam through hyper-
space, but all else was salvage-
able. To make up for inefficien-
cies in the cycling system, they
could even tap the planet’s own
water and air supply within lim-
its; provided, of course, they sub-
tracted the ammonia.
They organized exploring par-
ties since their suits were in ex-
FOUNDING FATHER
;
cellent condition and it passed
the time. The planet was harm-
less; no animal life; sparse plant
life everywhere. Blue, always
blue ;
ammoniated chlorophyll
arnmoniated protein.
They set up laboratories, an-
alyzed the plant components,
studied microscopic sections,
compiled vast volumes of find-
ings. They tried growing native
plants in ammonia-free atmos-
phere and failed. They made
themselves into geologists and
studied the planet’s crust; as-
tronomers and studied the spec-
trum of the planet’s sun.
Barrere would say sometimes,
“Eventually, the Corps will reach
this planet again and we’ll leave
a legacy of knowledge for them.
It’s a unique planet after all.
There might not be another
Earth-type with ammonia in all
the Milky Way.”
“Great,” said Sandropoulos,
bitterly. “What luck for us.”
Sandropoulos worked out the
thermodynamics of the situation.
“A metastable system,” he said.
“The ammonia disappears stead-
ily through geochemical oxida-
tion that forms nitrogen; the
plants utilize nitrogen and re-
form ammonia, adapting them-
selves to the presence of ammon-
ia. If the rate of plant formation
of ammonia dropped two per-
cent, a declining spiral would set
in. Plant life would wither, re-
167
ducing the ammonia still further under extreme condition.s — All
and so on.” the better with which to seed the
“You mean if weenough
killed next planet.
plant life,” said Vlassov, “we The ammonia would kill any
could wipe out the ammonia.” Earth-plant, but the seeds at the
“If we had air-sleds and wide- disposal of the Cruiser John were
angle blasters, and a year to work not true Earth-plants but other-
in,we might,” said Sandropoulos, world mutations of these plants.
“but we haven’t and there’s a bet- They fought hard but not well
ter way. If we could get our enough. Some varieties grew in a
plants going, the formation of feeble, sickly manner and died.
oxygen through photosynthesis At that they did better than
would increase the rate of am- did microscopic life. The planet’s
monia oxidation. Even a small bacterioids were far more flour-
localized rise would lower the ishing than was the planet’s
ammonia in the region, stimulate straggly blue plant-life. The na-
Earth-plant growth further, and tive microorganisms drowned out
inhibit the native growth, drop any attempt at competition from
the ammonia further and so on.” Earth-samples. The attempt to
They became gardeners seed the alien soil with Earth-
through the growing season.
all type bacterial flora in order to
That was, all, routine for
after aid the Earth-plants failed.
the Galactic
Corps. Life on Vlassov shook his head, “It
Earth-type planets was usually wouldn’t do anyway. If our bac-
of the water/protein type, but teria survived, it would only be
variation was infinite and other- by adapting to the presence of
world food was rarely nourishing ammonia.”
and even more often happened Sandropoulos said, “Bacteria
(not always, but often) that won’t help us. We need the
some types of Earth-plants plants ;
they
carry the oxygen
would overrun and drown out the manufacturing systems.”
native flora. With the native “We could make some our-
flora held down, other Earth- selves,” said Petersen. “We could
plants could take root. electrolyze water.”
“How long will our equipment
T^ozens of planets had been last? If we could only get our
converted into new Earths plants going it would be like elec-
in this fashion. In the process trolyzing water forever, little by
Earth-plants developed hundreds little, but year after year, till the

of hardy varieties that flourished planet gave up.”

168 GALAXY
 Barrere said, “Let’s treat the steadily. Each month there was
soil then. It’s rotten with am- less room for maneuver.
nnK)nium salts. We’ll bake the When the end came at last, it
salts out and replace the ammon- was with almost gratifying sud-
ia-free soil.” denness. There was no name to
“And what about the atmos- place on the weakness and ver-
phere?” asked Chou. tigo. No one actually suspected
“In ammonia-free soil, they direct ammonia poisoning. Still,

may catch hold despite the at- they were living off the algal
mosphere. They almost make it growth of what had once been
as is.” ship-hydroponics for years and
They worked like longshore- the growths were themselves
men, but with no real end in aberrant with possible ammonia
view. None really thought it contamination.
would work, and there was no It could have been the work-
future for themselves, personally, ings of some native microorgan-
even if it did work. But working ism which might finally have
passed the days. learned to feed off them. It might
The next growing season, they even have been an Earthly mic-
had their ammonia-free soil, but roorganism, mutated under the
Earth-plants still grew only feeb- conditions of a strange world.
ly. They even placed domes over So three died at last and did
several shoots and pumped am- so, circumstances be praised,
monia-free air within. It helped painlessly. They were glad to
slightly but not enough. They ad- go, and leave the useless fight.
justed the chemical composition Chou said, in a voiceless whis-
of the soil in every possible fash- per, “It’s foolish to lose so bad-
ion. There was no reward. ly.”
The shoots produced
feeble Petersen, alone of the five to
their tiny whiffs of oxygen, but be on his feet (was he immune,
not enough to topple the am- whatever it was?) turned a griev-
monia atmosphere off its base. ing face toward his only living
“One more push,” said San- companion.
dropoulos, “one more. We’re “Don’t die,” he said, “don’t
rocking it; we’re rocking it;but leave me alone.”
we can’t knock it over.” Chou tried to smile. “I have
no But you can follow us,
choice.
''T^heir and equipment
tools old friend.Why fight? The tools
blunted and wore out with are gone and there is no way of
time and the future closed in winning now, if there ever was.”

FOUNDING FATHER 169

 Even now, Petersen fought off T T e buried each in a spot of
final despair by concentrating on ^ ^ ammonia-free soil they had
the fight against the atmosphere. so laboriously built up; buried
But his mind was weary, his them without shroud and with-
heart worn out, and when Chou out clothing; leaving them naked
died the next hour, he was left in the hostile ground for the slow
with four corpses to work with. decomposition that would come
He stared at the bodies, count- with' their own microorganisms
ing over the memories, stretching before those, too, died with the
them back (now that he was inevitable invasion of the native
alone and dared wail) to Earth bacterioids.
itself, which he had last seen on Petersen placed each cross,
a visit eleven years before. with its helmet and oxygen cylin-
He would have to bury the ders, propped each with rocks
bodies He would break off the then turned away, grim and sad-
bluish branches of the native eyed, to return to the buried ship
leafless trees and build crosses that he now inhabited alone.
of them. He would hang the He worked each day and even-
space helmet of each man on top tually the symptoms came for
and prop the oxygen cylinders him, too.
below. Empty cylinders to sym- He struggled into his space
bolize the lost fight. suitand came to the surface for
A sentiment for men
foolish what he knew would be one last
who could no longer care, and time.
for future eyes that might never He fell to his knees on the
see. garden-plots. The Earth plants
But he was doing it for him- were green. They had lived
self, to show respect for his longer than ever before. They
friends, and respect for himself, looked healthy, even vigorous.
too, for he was not the kind of They had patched the soil,
man to leave his friends untend- babied the atmosphere, and now
ed in death while he himself Petersen had used the last tool,
could stand. the only one remaining at his dis-
Besides posal, and he had given them fer-
Besides? He sat in weary tilizer as well
thought for some moments. Out of the slowly corrupting
While he was still alive, he flesh of the Earthmen came the
would fight with such tools as nutrients that supplied the final
were left. He would bury his push. Out of the Earth-plants
friends. came the oxygen that would beat
170 GALAXY
back the ammonia and push the and remain to give a hint as to
planet out of the unaccountable what happened. Their own rec-
niche into which it had stuck. ords, sealed away, might be
If Earthmen ever came again found.
(when? a million years hence?) But none of that mattered. If
they would find a nitrogen/oxy- nothing at all was ever found,
gen atmosphere and a limited the planet itself, the whole
flora strangely reminiscent of planet, would be their monu-
Earth’s. ment.
The crosses would rot and de- And Petersen lay down to die
cay, the metal rust and decom- in the midst of their victory.
pose. The bones might fossilize —ISAAC ASIMOV

FORECAST
Actually our editorial this month is our forecast, but it's on a some-
whdt longer-range scale than usual. Restricting our view to the single issue
coming up next, here's what it looks like now:
The lead is by C. C. MacApp, a writer who hitherto has appeared in
Galaxy only as the author of a couple of biting and sardonically funny
short stories like And All the Earth a Grave and A Flask of Fine Arcturan.
Next month's is quite different. It's an adventure story. The place is the
planet Mercury. The time, some hundreds of years in the future; and the
title is The Mercurymen. Pederson has done the cover for it; and if the

object you see in the background looks to you like a covered wagon —
if

is! It has to be, in fact —for reasons you will discover when you read the
story.
Robert Silverberg will join us again next issue with a long novelette
called The Warriors of Light. And we have a pointed and funny novelette
by a new writer named Norman Kagan (you may remember that he was
one of the "firsts" we print in every issue of our companion magazine, If,
some time ago. His story then was called The Mathenauts, and it was im-
mediately selected for "best of the year" honors). What Kagan is writing
about this time is politics —
the grandest game of them all, as they say;
but in Kagan's story the rules are those invented by Franz Kafka, and nat-
urally enough the story is called Laugh Along with Franz.
We also have a couple of shorts of special interest, since both mark
the first and long overdue appearance of their authors in Galaxy. One is
a very short one by Arthur C. Clarke (but he calls it the longest story ever
written, for reasons you will see when you read it); the other is by Harlan
Ellison. If they fit they'll be in!

FOUNDING FATHER 171

 Shall We Have
a Little Talk?
by ROBERT SHECKLEY

Illustrated by GAUGHAN

Earth didn't just walk in and conquer

planets — there were definite rules!
Why wouldn't these people cooperate?

I The cloud cover broke up at

2000 feet. Jackson was able to
'"T^he landing was a piece of cake confirm his earlier sighting there :

despite gravitational vaga- was a city down there, just as

ries produced by two suns and sure as sure.
six moons. Low-level cloud cover He was in one of the world’s
could have given him some loneliest jobs; but his line of
trouble if Jackson had been com- work, paradoxically enough, re-
ing in visually. But he considered quired an extremely gregarious
that to be kid stuff. It was better man. Because of this built-in con-
and safer to plug in the computer tradiction, Jackson was in the
and lean back and enjoy the habit of talking to himself. Most
ride. of the men in his line of work

172
did. Jackson would talk to any-
one, human or alien, no matter
what their size or shape or color.
It was what he was paid to do,
and what he had to do anyhow.
He talked when he was alone on
the long interstellar runs, and he
talked even more when he was
with someone or something that
would talk back. He figured he
was lucky to be paid for his com-
pulsions.
“And not just paid, either,” he
reminded himself. “Well paid,
and with a bonus arrangement on
top of that. And furthermore,
this feels like my lucky planet.
I feel like I could get rich on this
one; unless they kill me down
there, of course.”
The lonely flights between the
planets and the imminence of
death were the only disadvan-
tages of this job; but if the work
weren’t hazardous and difficult,
the pay wouldn’t be so good.
Would they kill him? You
could never tell. Alien life-forms
were unpredictable —
just like
humans, only more so.
“But I don’t think they’ll kill
me,” Jackson said. “I just feel
downright lucky today.”
This simple philosophy
sustained him for years, across
the endless lonely miles of space,
and in and out of ten, twelve,
twenty planets. He saw no reason
to change his outlook now.
The ship landed. Jackson
SHALL WE HAVE A LITTLE TALK
switched the status controls to
standby.
He checked the analyzer for
oxygen and trace-element con-
tent in the atmosphere, and took
a quick survey of the local micro-
organisms. The place was viable.
He leaned back in his chair and
waited. It didn’t take long, of
course. They — the locals, in-
digenes, authochtones, whatever
you wanted to call them — came
out of their city to look at the
spaceship. And Jackson looked
through the port at them.
“Well now,” he said. “Seems
like the alien life-forms in this
neck of the woods are honest-to-
Joe humanoids. That means a
five thousand dollar bonus for old
Uncle Jackson.”
''X^he inhabitants of the city
were bipedal monocepha-
They had the appropriate
loids.
number of fingers, noses, eyes,
ears and mouths. Their skin was
a flesh-colored beige, their lips
were a faded red, their hair was
black, brown or red.
“Shucks, they’re just like
home-folks!” Jackson said. “Hell,
I ought to get an extra bonus for
had that. Humanoidissmus, eh?”
The aliens wore clothes. Some
of them carried elaborately
carved lengths of wood like
swagger-sticks. The women deco-
rated themselves with carved
and enameled ornaments. At a
173
flying guess. Jackson
them about equivalent to Late
Bronze Age on Earth.
They talked and gestured
among themselves. Their lan-
guage was, of course, incompre-
hensible to Jackson; but that
didn’t matter. The important
thing was that they had a lan-
guage, and that their speech
sounds could be produced by his
vocal apparatus.
“Not like on that heavy planet
last year.’’ Jackson“Those
said.
I had
supersonic sons of bitches!
to wear special earphones and
mike, and it was 110 in the
shade.”
The aliens were waiting for
him, and Jackson knew it. That
first moment of actual contact
it always was a nervous business.
That’s when they were most
apt to let you have it.
Reluctantly he moved to the
hatch, undogged, it, rubbed his
eyes and cleared his throat. He
managed to produce a smile. He
told himself, “Don’t get sweaty,
member, you’re just a little old
Jackson, don’t choke up. Re-
member you’re just a little old
interstellar wanderer —
kind of
galactic vagabond —
to extend
the hand of friendship and all
that jazz. You’ve just dropped in
for a little talk, nothing more.
Keep on believing that, sweety,
and the extraterrestrial Johns will
believe right along with you. Re-
174
ranked member Jackson’s Law: All in-
telligent life-forms share the di-
vine faculty of gulli'Diiity; which
means that the triple-tongued
Thung of Orangus V can be
conned out of his skin just as
easily as Joe Doakes of St. Paul.”
And so, wearing a brave, arti-
ficial little smile, Jackson swung
the port open and stepped out
to have a little talk.
tW'oll now, how jhall?” Jack-
^ son asl.ed at once, just to
hear the sound of his own voice.
The nearest aliens shrank away
from him. Nearly all of them were
frowning. Several of the younger
ones carried bronze knives in a
forearm scabbard. These were
— clumsy weapons, but as effective
as anything ever invented. The
aliens started to draw.
“Now take it easy,” Jackson
said, keeping his voice light and
unalarmed.
They drew their knives and
began to edge forward. Jackson
stood his ground, waiting, ready
to bolt through the hatch like a
jet-propelled jack-rabbit, hoping
he could make it.
Then a third man (might as
well call them men Jackson de-
cided) stepped in front of the
belligerent two. This one was
older. He spoke rapidly. He ges-
tured. The two with the knives
looked.
GALAXY
 ”

“That’s right,” Jackson said just exactly what could happen.”

encouragingly. “Take a good look. “So what I say,” Herbie would
Heap big spaceship. Plenty strong continue, “I say, let’s not take
medicine. Vehicle of great power, any risks. I mean, sure, he looks
fabricated by a real advanced friendly enough, but he’s just got
technology. Sort of makes you too damned much power, and
stop and think, doesn’t it?” that’s not right. And right now is
It did. the best chance we’ll ever get to
The aliens had stopped; take him on account of he’s just
and ifnot thinking, they were at standing there waiting for like an
least doing a great deal of talk- ovation or something. So let’s
ing. They pointed at the ship, put this bastard out of his misery,
then back at their city. and then we can talk the whole
“You’re getting the idea,” thing over, and see how it stacks
Jackson told them. “Power up situationwise.”
speaks a universal language, eh, with you!”
“By Jesus, I’m
cousins?”
cries Fred. Others signify their
He had been witness to many assent.
of these scenes on many different
“Good for you, lads,” cries
planets. He could nearly write Herbie. “Let’s wade in and take
their dialogue for them. It usu- this alien joker like now!"
ally went like this: So they start to make their
Intruder lands in outlandish move; but suddenly, at the last
space vehicle, thereby eliciting second. Old Doc (the third
(1) curiosity, (2) fear and (3) autochthon) intervenes, saying,
hostility. Aftersome minutes of “Hold it a minute, boys, we can't
awed contemplation, one autoch- do it like that. For one thing,
thone usually said to his friend: we got laws around here
—
“Hey, that damned metal thing “To hell with that,” says P'red
packs one hell of a lot of power.” (a born troublemaker and some-
“You’re right, Herbie,” his what simple to boot).
friend Fred, the second autoch- “ —and aside from the laws,
tiion, would reply. it would be just too damned
“You bet I’m right,” Herbie dangerous for us.”
would say. “And hell, with that “Me’n Fred here ain’t scared,”
much power and technology and says valiant Herb. “Maybe you
stuff, this son of a gun could like better go take in a movie or
enslave us: I mean he really something, Doc. Us guys’ll handle
could.” this.”
“You’ve hit it, Herbie, that’s “I was not referring to a short-
SHALL WE HAVE A LITTLE TALK 175
range personal danger,” Old Doc “Maybe, maybe,” mimics wise
says scornfully. “What I fear is old Doc. “Well, baby, v-je can’t
the destruction of our city, the risk the whole ball game on a
slaughter of our loved ones and goddamned maybe. We can’t af-
the annhilation of our culture.” ford to kill this alien joker
Herb and Fred stop. “What or the chance that maybe his
you talking about, Doc? He’s just people wouldn’t do what any
one stinking alien; you push a reasonable-minded guy would do,
knife in his guts, he’ll bleed like which is namely to blow us all
anyone else.” to hell.”
“Fools! Schlemiels!” thunders “Well, I suppose we maybe
the wise old Doc. “Of course you can’t,” Herbie says. “But Doc,
can kill him! But what happens what can we do?”
after that?” “Just wait and see what he
“Huh?” says Fred, squinting wants . .

his china-blue pop eyes.

“Idiots! Cochons! You think II
this is the only spaceship these
aliens got? You think they don’t A scene very much like that,
even know whereabouts this guy according to reliable recon-
has gone? Man, you gotta assume struction, had been enacted at
they got plenty more ships where least thirty or forty times. It
this one came from, and you got- usually resulted in a policy of
ta also assume that they’ll be wait-and-see. Occasionally the
damned mad if this ship doesn’t contactor from Elarth was killed
show up when it’s supposed to, before wise counsel could prevail;
and you gotta assume that when but Jackson was paid to take
these aliens learn the score they’re risks like that.
gonna be damned sore and buzz Whenever the contactor was
back here and stomp on every- killed, retribution followed with
thing and everybody.” swift and terrible inevitability.
“How come I gotta assume Also with regret, of course, be-
that? asks feeble-witted Fred. cause Earth was an extremely
“Cause it’s what you’d do in a civilized place and accustomed to
deal like that, right?” living within the law. No civiliz-
guess maybe I would at
“I ed law-abiding race likes to
that,” says Fred, with a sheep- commit genocide. In fact, the
ish grin. “Yeah, I just might do folks on Earth consider genocide
that little thing. But look, may- a very unpleasant matter, and
be they wouldn’t. they don’t like to read about it
176 GALAXY
or anything like it in their morn- of the city. After a brief hesita-
ing papers. Envoys must be pro- tion, his new-found friends fell
tected, of course, and murder into step behind him.
must be punished ;
everybody Everything was moving accord-
knows that. But it still doesn’t ing to plan.
feel nice to read about a geno- all the other Con-
Jackson, like
cide over your morning coffee. tactors,was a polyglot of singu-
News like that can spoil a man’s lar As basic equip-
capabilities.
entire day.Three or four geno- ment, he had an eidetic memory
cidesand a man just might get and an extremely discriminating
angry enough to switch his vote. ear. More important, he possess-
Fortunately, there was never ed a startling aptitude for langu-
much occasion for that sort of age and an uncanny intuition for
mess. Aliens usually caught on meaning. When Jackson came up
pretty fast. Despite the language against an incomprehensible ton-
barrier, aliens learned that you gue, he picked out, quickly and
simply don’t kill Earthmen. unerringly, the significant units,
And then, later, bit by bit, they the fundamental building blocks
learned all the rest. of the language. Quite without
effort he sorted vocalizations in-
^"T^he hot-heads had sheathed to cognitive, volitional and emo-
their knives. Everybody was tional aspects of speech. Gram-
smiling except Jackson, who was matical elements presented them-
grinning like a hyena. The aliens selves at once to his practiced ear.
were making graceful arm-and- Affixes and suffixes were no
leg motions, probably of wel- trouble: word sequence, pitch and
come. reduplication were no sweat. He
“Well, that’s real nice,” Jack- didn’t know much about the
son said, making a few graceful science of linguistics, but he didn’t
gestures of his own. “Makes me need to know. Jackson was a nat-
feel real to-home. And now, sup- ural. Linguistics had been devel-
pose you take me to your leader, oped to describe and explain
show me the town and all that things which he knew intuitively.
jazz. Then I’ll set myself down He had not yet encountered
and figure out that lingo of yours, the language which he could not
and we’ll have a little talk. And learn. Henever really expected
after that, everything will proceed to find one. As he often told his
splendidly. En avanti” friends inthe Forked Totigue
So saying, Jackson stepped out Club in New York, “Waal, shu-
at a brisk pace in the direction kins, there just really ain’t nuthin
SHALL WE HAVE A LIHLE TALK 177
tough about them alien tongues.
Leastwise, not the ones I’ve run
across. I mean that sincerely. I
mean to tell you, boys, that the
man who can express hisself in
Sioux or Khmer ain’t going to
encounter too much trouble out
there amongst the stars.”
And so it had been, to date
Once in the city, there were
many tedious ceremonies which
Jackson had to endure. They
stretched on for three days
about par for the course. He
knew the reason for them, of
course; it wasn’t every day that a
traveller from Space came in for
a visit. So naturally enough every
mayor, governor, president and
alderman, and their wives, wanted
to shake his hand. It was all very
understandable, but Jackson re-
sented the waste of his time. He
had work to do, some of it not
very pleasant, and the sooner
he got started the quicker
would be over.
On the fourth day he was able
to reduce the official nonsense to
a minimum. That was the day
in which he began in earnest to
learn the local language.
A language, as any linguist will
tell you, is undoubtedly the
most beautiful creation one is
ever likely to encounter. But
with that beauty goes a certain
element of danger.
Language might aptly be com-
178
pared to the sparkling, ever-
changing face of the sea. Like
the sea, you never know what
reefs may be concealed in its
pellucid depths. The brightest
water hides the most treacherous
shoals.
Jackson, well-prepared for
. . . trouble, encountered none at first.
The main language (Hon) of this
planet (Na), was spoken by the
overwhelming majority of its in-
— habitants (En-a-To-Na —
liter-
ally, men of the Na, or Naians,
as Jackson preferred of think of
them). Hon seemed quite a
straightforward affair. It used
one term for one concept, and
allowed no fusions, juxtapositions
or agglutinations. Concepts were
built up by sequences of simple
words (‘spaceship’ was ho-pa-
aie-an — boat-flying-outer-sky).
Thus, Hon was very much like
Chinese and Annamite on Earth.
it Pitch differences were employed
not only intentionally to differ-
entiate between homonyns, but
also positionally, to denote grad-
ations of ‘perceived realism,’
bodily discomfort and three class-
es of pleasurable expectation. All
of which was mildly interesting
but of no particular difficulty to
a competent linguist.
To be sure, a language like
Hon was rather a bore because of
the long word-lists one had to
memorize. But pitch and position
could be fun, as well as being ab-
GALAXY
solutely essential if one wanted
to make any sense out of the
sentence-units. So, taken all in
all,Jackson was not dissatisfied,
and he absorbed the language as
quickly as it could be given to
him.
It was a proud day for Jack-
son, about a week later, when he
could say to his tutor: “A very
nice and pleasant good morning
to you, most estimable and hon-
ored tutor, and how is your bless-
ed health upon this glorious
day?’
“Felicitations most ird wunk!”
the tutor replied with a smile of
deep warmth. “Your accent, dear
pupil, is superb Positively gor
!

nak, in fact, and your grasp of my

dear mother tongue is little short
of ur nak tai.”
Jackson glowed all over from
the gentle old tutor’s compli-
ments. He felt quite pleased with
himself. Of course, he hadn’t
recognized several words; ird
wunk and ur nak tai sounded
faintly familiar, but gor nak was
completely unknown. Still lapses
were expected of a beginner in
any language. He did know
enough to understand the Naians,
and to make himself understood
by them. And that was what his
job required.
He returned to his spaceship
that afternoon. The hatch had
been standing open during his
entire stay on Na but he found

SHALL WE HAVE A LITTLE TALK 179

that not a single article had been certain quantities of gold, plati-
stolen. He shook his nead rue- num, diamonds and other objects
fully at this, but refused to let it which are considered valuable on
upset him. He loaded his pockets Earth.”
with a variety of objects and “They are considered valuable
sauntered back to the city. He here, too,” Erum said. “Quanti-
was ready to perform the tinal ties,did you say? My dear sir, we
and most important part of his willhave no difficulties; not even
job. a blaggle shall mit or ows, as the
poet said.”
HI “Quite so,” Jackson replied.
Erum was using some words he
n the heart of the business dis- didn’tknow, but that didn’t mat-
trict, at the intersection of Um ter. The main drift was clear
and Alhretto, he found what he enough. “Now, suppose we begin
was looking for; a real estate of- with a nice industrial site. After
fice. He entered, and was taken all, I’ll have to do something with
to the office of Mr. Erum, a jun- my time. And after that we can
ior partner of the firm. pick out a house.”
“Well, well, well, well!” Erum “Most decidedly prominex,”
said, shaking hands heartily. Erum said gaily. “Suppose I just
“This is a real honor, sir, a very raish through my here
listings
considerable and genuine privi- . .Yes, what do you say to a
.

lege. Are you thinking of acquir- bromicaine factory? It’s in a first-

ing a piece of property?” class condition, and could easily
“That was my intention,” be converted to vor manufacture,
Jackson said. “Unless, of course, or used as it is.”
you have discriminatory laws “Is there any real market for
that forbid your selling to a fore- bromicaine?” Jackson asked.
igner.” “Well, bless my muergentan,
“No difficulty there,” Erum of course there is! Bromicaine is
said. “In fact, it’ll be a veritable indispensable, though its sales are
orai of a pleasure to have a man seasonable. You see, refined
from your distant and glorious bromicaine, or ariisi, is used by
civilization in our midst.” the protigash devolvers, who of
Jackson restrained a snicker. course harvest by the solstice-
“The only other difficulty I can season, except in those branches
imagine the question of legal
is of the industry that have switch-
tender. don’t have any of your ed over to ticothene revature.
I

currency, of course; but I have Those from a steadily

”’ —
180 GALAXY
 “Fine, fine,” Jackson said. He almost the same as a bifur pro-
didn’t care what a bromicaine bishkai.”
was, and never expected to see “I beg your pardon?” Jackson
one. As long as it was a gainful said.
employment of some kind it fill- “It means — well, to elikate
ed his specifications. is really rather simple, though
“I’ll buy it,” he said. perhaps not in the eyes of the
“You won’t regret it,” Erum law. Scorbadising is a form of
told him. “A good bromicaine elikation, and so is manruv gar-
factoryis a garveldis hagatis, and ing. Some say that when V7e
menifoy as well.” breathe drorsically in the evening
“Sure,” Jackson said, wishing subsis we are actually elikating.
that he had a more extensive Personally, I consider that a bit

Hon vocabulary. “How much?” fanciful.”

“Well, sir, the price is no dif- “Let’s try mushkies,” Jackson
ficulty. But first you’ll have to suggested.
fillout the ollanbrit form. It is “By all means, let’s!” Erum re-
just a few sken questions which plied, with a coarse boom of
ny naga of everyone.” laughter. “If only one could —
eh?” He dug Jackson in the ribs
rum handed Jackson the form.
E The first question read:
with a sly elbow.
“Hm, yes,” Jackson replied
“Have you, now or at any past coldly. “Perhaps you could tell
time, elikated mushkies forsical- me what, exactly, a mushkie is?”
ly? State date of all occurrences. “Of course. As it happens,
If no occurrences, state the rea- there is no such thing,” Erum
son for transgrishal reduct as replied. “Not in the singular, at
found.” any rate. One mushkie would be
Jackson read no farther. “What a logical fallacy, don’t you see?”
does it mean,” he asked Erum, “I’ll take your word for it.
“to elikate mushkies forsically?” What are mushkies?”
“Mean?” Erum smiled uncer- “Well, primarily, they’re the
tainly. “Why, it means exactly object of elikation. Secondarily,
what it says. Or so I would im- they are halfsize wooden sandals
agine.” which are used to stimulate ero-
“I meant,” Jackson said, “that tic fantasies among the Kutor

I do not understand the words. religionists.”

Could you explain them to me?” “Now we’re getting some-
“Nothing simpler,” Erum re- place!” Jackson cried.
plied. “To elikate mushkies is “Only if your tastes happen to
SHALL WE HAVE A LITTLE TALK 181
 ” ”

run that way,” Erum answered “Well, it means — or rather it

with discernable coldness. expresses — an advanced and

“I meant in terms of under- intensified case of mushkie eliki-
standing the question on the dation, but with a definite nmog-
form — metic bias. I consider it a rather
“Of course, excuse me,” Erum unfortunate phraseology, person-
said. “But you see, the question ally.”
asks if you have ever elikated “How would you put it?”
mush kies forsically. And that “I’d lay it on the line and to
makes all the difference.” hell with the fancy talk,” Erum
“Does it really?” said toughly. come right
“I’d
“Of course! The modification out and say: ‘Have you now or
changes the entire meaning.” at any other time dunfiglers voc
“I was afraid that it would,” in illegal, immoral, or insirtis
Jackson said. “I don’t suppose circumstances, with or without
you could explain what forsically the aid and/or consent of a
means?” brachniian? If so, state when and
“I certainly can!” Erum said. why. If not, state neugris kris and
“Our conversation now could — why ”
not.’
with a slight assist from the “That’s how you’d put it, huh ?”
deme imagination be termed — Jackson said.
a forsically designed talk." “Sure would,” Erum said di-
I
“Ah,” said Jackson. fiantly. “These
forms are for
“Quite so,” said Erum. “For- adults, aren’t they? So why not
sically is a mode, a manner It come right out and call a spigler
means ‘spiritually-forward-lead- a spigler a spey? Everybody dun-
ing - by - way - of - fortuitous figlers voc some of the time, and
”
- frieindship.’ so what? No one’s feelings are
“That’s a little more like it,” ever hurt by it, for heaven’s sake.
Jackson said. “In that case, when I mean, after all, it simply in-
one elikates mushkies forsical- volves oneself and a twisted old
ly — piece of wood, so why should
• anyone care?”
ttT’m on
terribly afraid you’re “Wood?” Jackson echoed.
Ji- wrong track,” Erum
the “Yes, wood. A commonplace,
said. “The definition I gave you dirty old piece of wood. Or at
applies only to conversations. It least that’s all it would be if
is something rather different people didn’t get their feelings
when one speaks of mushkies.” so ridiculously involved.”
“What does it mean then?” “What do they do with the
182 GALAXY
 ”

wood?” Jackson asked quickly. loudly? Do you think perhaps I

“Do with it? Nothing much, was overheard?”
when you come right down to it. “Of course not. I found it all
But the religious aura is simply very interesting. I must leave
too much for our so-called in- justnow, Mr. Erum, but I’ll be
tellectuals. They are unable, in back tomorrow to fill out that
my opinion, to isolate the simple form and buy the property.”
primordial fact wood — — from “I’ll hold it for you,” Erum
the cultural volturneiss which said, rising and shaking Jackson’s
surrounds it at festerhius, and to hand warmly. “And I want to
some extent at Uuis, too.” thank you. It isn’t often that I
“That’s how intellectuals are,” have the opportunity for this
Jackson said.“But you can iso- kind of frank, no-holds-barred
late it, and you find — conversation.”
“I find it’s really nothing to “I found it very instructive,”
get excited about. I really mean Jackson said. He left Emm’s
that. I mean to say that a cath- office and walked slowly back
edral, viewed no
correctly, is to his ship. He was disturbed,
more than a pile of rocks, and a upset and annoyed. Linguistic in-
forest is just an assembly of comprehension irked him, no
atoms. Why should we see this matter how comprehensible it
case differently? I mean, really, might be. He should have been
you could elikate mushkies forsi- able to have figured out, some-
cally without even using woodl how, how one went about elikat-
What do you think of that?” ing mushkies forsically.
“I’m impressed,” Jackson said. Never mind, he told himself.
“Don’t get me wrong! I’m not You’ll work it out tonight. Jack-
saying it would be easy, or natur- son baby,and then you’ll go
al, or even right. But still, you back in there and cannonball
damned well could! Why, you through them forms. So don’t
could substitute cormed grayti get het up over it, man.
and still come out all right!” He’d work it out. He damned
Erum paused and chuckled. well had to work it out, since he
“You’d look foolish, but you’d had to own a piece of property.
still come out all right.” That was the second part of
“Very interesting,” Jackson his job.
said.
had come a long way
“I’m afraid I became a bit
vehement,” Erum said, wiping his E arth
since the bad old days of
forehead. “Was I talking very naked, aggressive warfare. Ac-
SHALL WE HAVE A LIHLE TALK 183
cording to the history books, a Nowadays one had to have an
ruler back in those ancient times excuse for taking.
could simply send out his troops Like for example a Terran citi-
to seize whatever the ruler want- zen who happened to own pro-
ed. And if any of the folks at perty all legal and aboveboard
home had the temerity to ask on an alien planet, and who urg-
why he wanted it, the ruler ently needed and requested Ter-
could have them beheaded, or ran military assistance in order
locked up in a dungeon, or sewn to protect himself, his home, his
up in a sack and thrown into the means of a legitimate liveli-
sea. And he wouldn’t even feel hood . . .

guilty about doing any of those But first he had to own that
things because he invariably be- property. He had to really own
lieved that he was right and they it,to protect himself from the
were wrong. bleeding-hearts Congressmen and
This policy, technically called the soft-on-aliens newsmen who
the droit de signeur, was one of always started an investigation
the most remarkable features of whenever Earth took charge of
the laissez fake capitalism which another planet.
the ancients knew. To provide a legal basis for
But, down the slow passage of conquest —
that was what the
centuries, cultural processes were Contactors were for.
inexorably at work. A new ethic “Jackson,” Jackson said to
came into the world; and slowly himself, “you gonna sit your-
but surely, a sense of fair play self that li'l ole bromicaine fac-
and justices was bred into the tory tomorrow and you gonna
human race. Rulers came to be own it without let or hindrance.
chosen by ballot, and were re- You heah me, boy? I mean it

sponsive to the desires of the elec- sincerely.”

torate. Conceptions of Justices, On
the morrow, shortly before
Mercy and Pity came to the noon, Jackson was back in the
forefront of men’s minds, ameli- city. Several hours of intensive
orating the old law of tooth and study, and a long consultation
talon, and amending the savage with this tutor, had sufficed to
bestiality of the ancient time of show him where he had gone
unreconstruction. wrong.
The old days were gone for- It was simple enough. He had
ever. Today, no ruler could simp- merely been a trifle hasty in
ly take; the voters would never assuming an extreme and invari-
stand for it. ant isolating technique in the
184 GALAXY
Hon use of radicals. He had
thought, on the basis of his early
studies, that word-meaning and
word-order were the only signifi-
cant factors required for an un-
derstanding of the language. But
that wasn’t so. Upon further ex-
amination, Jackson found that
the Hon language had some unex-
pected recourses; affixation, for
example, and an elementary form
of reduplication. Yesterday he
hadn’t even been prepared for
any morphological inconsisten-
cies; when they had occurred, he
had found himself in semantic
difficulties.
The new forms were easy
enough to learn. The trouble was,
they were thoroughly illogical
and contrary to the entire spirit
of Hon.
One word produced by one
sound, and bearing one meaning
— that was the rule he had pre-
viously deduced. But now he dis-
covered 18 important exceptions
— compounds produced by a va-
riety of techniques, each of them
with a list of modifying suffixes.
For Jackson, this was as odd as
stumbling across a grove of palm
trees in Antarctica.
He learned the 18 exceptions,
and thought about the article he
would write when he finally got
home.
And the next day, wiser and
warier, Jackson strode meaning-
fully back to the city.
SHALL WE HAVE A LIHLE TALK?
IV
n Emm’s office, he filled out
I the government forms with
ease. That first question —
“Have you now or at any past
time, elikated mushkies forsical-
ly?” —
he could now answer with
an honest no. The plural ‘mush-
primary meaning, rep-
kies’ in its
resented in this context, the sin-
gular ‘woman.’ (The singular
‘mushkie’ used similarly, would
denote an uncorporeal state of
femininity.)
Elikation was, of course, the
role of sexual termination, unless
one employed the modifier ‘forsi-
cally.’ If one did, this quiet term
took on a charged meaning in this
particular context, tantamount
to edematous polysexual advoca-
tion.
Thus, Jackson could honestly
write that, since he was not a
Naian, he had never had that par-
ticular urge.
It was as simple as that. Jack-
son was annoyed at himself for
not having figured it out on his
own.
He filled in the rest of the
questions without difficulty, and
handed the paper back to Emm.
“That’s really quite skoe,’’
Erum said. “Now, there are just
a few more simple items for us
to complete. The first we can
do immediately. After that I will
arrange a brief official ceremony
185
for the Property Transferral Act, of someone else’s planet. But in
and ttiat will be followed by one way or another, they usually
several other small bits of busi- got it.

ness. All of it should take no Most alien races realized that

more than a day or so, and then overt resistance was impossible,
the property will be all yours.” and resorted to various stalling
“Sure, kid, that’s great,” Jack- tactics.
son said. He wasn’t bothered by Sometimes they refused to
the delays. Quite the contrary, sell, or they required an in-
he had expected many more of finite multiplicity of forms, or
them. On most other planets, the the approval of some local offici-
locals caught on quickly to what alwho was always absent. But for
was happening. It took no great each ploy the Contactor always
reasoning power to figure out that had a suitable counter-ploy.
Earth wanted what she wanted, Did they refuse to sell proper-
but wanted it in a legalistic man- ty on racial grounds? The laws of
ner. Earth specifically forbade such
As for why she wanted it that practices,and the Declaration of
way — that wasn’t too hard to Sentient Rights stated the free-
fathom, either. A great majority dom of all sentients to live and
of T errans were idealist, and they work wherever they pleased. This
believed fervently in concepts was a freedom that Terra would
such as truth, justice, mercy and fight for, if anyone forced them
the like. And not only did they to.
believe, they also let those noble Were they stalling? The Terran
concepts guide their actions — Doctrine of Temporal Propriety
except when it would be incon- would not allow it.
venient or unprofitable. When Was the necessary official ab-
that happened, they acted ex- sent? The Uniform Earth Code
pediently, but continued to talk Against Implicit Sequestration in
moralistically. This meant that Acts of Omission expressly for-
they were hypocrites a term — bade such a practice And so . . .

which every race has its counter- on and so on. It was a game of
part of. wits Earth invariably won, since
Terrans wanted what they the strongest is usually judged
wanted, but they also wanted the cleverest.
that what they wanted should But the Naians weren’t even
look nice. This was a lot to ex- trying to fight back. Jackson con-
pect sometimes, especially when sidered that downright despic-
what they wanted was ownership able.
186 GALAXY
 ” ” ”

'"T^he exchange of Naian cur- is to say — ethybolically speak-

rency for Terran platinum
was completed and Jackson was
given his change in crisp 50-Vrso
bills.Erum beamed with pleasure,
and said, “Now, Mr. Jackson, we
can complete today’s business if
you will kindly trombramcthulan-
chierir in the usual manner.”
Jackson turned, his eyes nar-
rowed and his mouth compressed
into a bloodless downward-curv-
ing line.
“What did you say?”
“I merely asked you to
ing —
Jackson said in a low, danger-
ous voice, “Give me a synonym.”
“There is no synonym,” Erum
said.
“Baby, you better come up
with one anyhow,” Jackson said,
his hand closing over Erum’s
throat.
“Stop! Wait! Ulp!” Erum cried.
“Mr. Jackson, I beg of you! How
can there be a synonym when
there is one and only one term
— for the thing expressed —
if I

“I know what you asked! But may so express it?”

what does mean?” “You’re putting me on!” Jack-
— means—
it

“Well, it means it son howled. “And you better quit

Erum laughed weakly. — “ it it, on account of we got laws
means exactly what it says. That against willful obfuscation, inten-
SHALL WE HAVE A LITTLE TALK? 137
 tional obstructionism, implicit pearances, he could have been a
superimposition and other stuff Naian, just as any Naian could
like you’re doing. You hear me?” have been a Terran.
“I hear you,” Erum trembled. Jackson located a cheerful sa-
“Then hear this: stop agglut- loon on the corner of Niis and
inating, you devious dog! You’ve Da Streets, and went in.
got a perfectly ordinary run-of- It was quiet and masculine in-
the-mill analytical-type langu- side. Jackson ordered a local
age, distinguished only by its ex- variety of beer. When it was
treme isolating tendency. And served, he said to the bartender,
when you got a language like “Funny thing happened to me
that, man, then you simply don’t the other day.”
agglutinate a lot of big messy “Yeah?” said the bartender.
compounds. Get me?” “Yeah, really,” Jackson said.
“Yes, yes,” Erum cried. “But “I had this big business deal on,
believe me,don’t intend to
I see,and then at the last minute
numniscaterate in the slightest! they asked me to trombramcthu-
Not noniskakkekaki, and you lanchierir in the usual manner.”
really must debruchili that!” He watched the bartender’s
Jackson drew back his fist, but face carefully. A faint expression
got himself under control in time. of puzzlement crossed the man’s
It was unwise to hit aliens if stolid features.
there was any possibility that “So why didn’t you?” the bar-
they were telling the truth. Folks tender asked.
on Terra didn’t like it. His pay “You mean you would have?”
could be docked; and if, by some “Sure I would have. Hell, it’s
unlucky chance, he killed Erum, the standard cathanpriptiaia,
he could be slapped with a six ain’t it?”
month jail sentence. “Course it is,” one of the loung-
But still . . . ers at the bar said. “Unless, of
•
“I’ll find out
you’re lying if course, you suspected they was
or not!” Jackson screamed, and trying to numniscaterate.”
stormed out of the office. “No, I don’t think they were
trying anything like that,” Jack-
T Te walked for nearly an hour, son said in a flat low, lifeless
mingling with the crowds in voice. He paid for his drink and
the slum quarters of Grath-Eth, started to leave.
below the gray, evil-smelling Un- “Hey,” the bartender called af-
gperdis. No one paid any atten- ter him, “You sure they wasn’t
tion to him. To all outward ap- noniskakkekaki ?”
188 GALAXY
 “You never know,” Jackson This consisted of clasping his
said, walking slump-shouldered hands behind his neck and
into the street. rocking back on his heels.
Jackson trusted his instincts, He was required to perform
both with languages and with this action with an expres-
people. His instincts told him now sion of definite yet modest pleas-
that the Naians were straight, ure, in accordance with the total-
and were not practicing an elabo- ity of the situation, and also in
rate deception on him. Erum had accord with the state of his sto-
not been inventing new words for mach and nerves and with his re-
the sake of willful confusion. He ligion and ethical code, and bear-
had been really speaking the Hon ing in mind minor temperamental
language as he knew it. differences due to fluctuations in
But if that were true, then Na heat and humidity, and not for-
was a very strange language. In getting the virtues of patience,
fact, it was down-right eccentric. similitude and forgiveness.
And its implications were not quite understandable.
It v/as all
merely curious. And completely contradictory
all
They were disastrous. to everything Jackson had pre-
viously learned about Hon.
V It was more than contradic-
tory; it was unthinkable, impos-
'T^hat evening Jackson went sible, and entirely out of order.
back to work. He discovered It was as if, having discovered
a further class of exceptions palm trees in frigid Antarctica,
which he had not known or even he had further found that the
suspected. That was a group of fruit of tiiese trees was, not co-
29 multi-valued potentiators. conuts, but muscatel grapes.
These words, meaningless in It couldn’t be —but
was. it

themselves, acted to elicit a com- Jackson did what was required

plicated and discordant series of
shadings from other words. Their
particular type of potentiation
varied according to their position
in the sentence.
Thus, when Emm had asked
of him. When he had finished
trombramcthulanchierering in
the usual manner, he had only to
get through the official ceremony
and the several small require-
ments after it.

him “to trombramcthulanchierir Erum assured him that it was

in the usual manner,” he had allquite simple, but Jackson sus-
merely wanted Jackson to make pected that he might some-
an obligatory ritual obeisance. how have difficulties.

SHALL WE HAVE A LITTLE TALK? 189

 So, in preparation, he put in some kind of rules.
gotta follow
three days of hard work acquir- Otherwise nobody can’t under-
ing a real mastery of the 29 ex- stand nobody. That’s the way it

ceptional potentiators, together works and that’s the way it’s got-
with their most common posi- ta be. And
anyone thinks they
if

tions, and their potentiating ef- can horse around linguisticwise

fect in each of these positions. with Fred C. Jackson
—
He bone-weary and with
finished, Here Jackson paused and drew
his irritability index risen to the blaster from his holster. He
97.3620 on the Grafheimer scale. checked the charge, snapped off
An impartial observer might have the safety and replaced the wea-
noticed an ominous gleam in his pon.
china-blue eyes. “Just better no one give old
Jackson had had it. He was Jackson no more doubletalking,”
sick of the Hon language and of old Jackson muttered. “Because
all things Naian. He had the ver- the next alien who tries it is go-
tiginous feeling that the more ing to get a three-inch circle
he learned, the less he knew. It drilled through his lousy cheating
was downright perverse. guts.”
“Hokay,” Jackson said, to him- So saying, Jackson marched
self and to the universe at large. back to the city. He was feeling
“I have learned the Naian lan- decidedly light-headed, but ab-
gauge, and I have learned a set solutely determined. His job was
of completely inexplicable excep- to steal this planet out from un-
tions, and I have also learned a der its inhabitants in a legal man-
further and even more contradic- ner, and in order to do that he
tory set of exceptions to the ex- had to make sense out of their
ceptions.” language. Therefore, in one way
Jackson paused, and in a very or another, he was going to make
low voice said; “1 have learned sense. Either that, or he was go-
an exceptional number of excep- ing to make some corpses.
tions. Indeed, an impartial ob- At this point, he didn’t much
server might think that this lan- care which.
guage is composed of nothing
but exceptions. prum was in his office, wait-
“But that” he continued, “is ing for him. With him were
damned well impossible, unthink- the mayor, the President of the
able and unacceptable. A lan- City Council, the Borough Presi-
guage is by God and by defini- dent, two aldermen and the Di-
tion systematic, which means it’s rector of the Board of Estimates.
19C GALAXY
All of them were smiling affab- — Mun mun.” He paused, and in a
ly, albeit nervously. Strong spir- somewhat nervous voice asked
its were present on a sideboard, the mayor: “Mun, mun?”
and there was a subdued air of “Mun mun mun,” the
. . .

fellowship in the room. mayor replied firmly, and the

All in looked as if Jack-
all, it other officials nodded. They all
son were being welcomed as a turned to Jackson.
new and highly respected prop- “Mun, mun-mun?” Erum
erty owner, an adornment to asked him, tremulously, but with
Fakka. Aliens took it that way dignity.
sometimes made the best of a
: Jackson was numbed speech-
bad bargain by trying to ingrat- less. His face turned a choleric
iate themselves with the Inevit- red and a large blue vein started
able Earthman. to pulse in his neck. But he man-
“Mun,” said Emm, shaking his aged to speak slowly, calmly and
hand enthusiastically. with infinite menace.
“Same to you, kid,” Jackson “Just what,” he said, “do you
said. He had no idea what the lousy third-rate yokels think
word meant. Nor did, he care. He you’re pulling?”
had plenty of other Naian words “Mun-mun?” the mayor asked
to choose among, and he had the Erum.
determination to force matters “Mun-mun, mun-mun-mun,”
to a conclusion. Erum replied quickly, making a
“Mun!” said the mayor. gesture of incomprehension.
“Thanks, pop,” said Jackson. “You better talk sense,” Jack-
“Mun!” declared the other of- son said. His voice was still low,
ficials. but the vein in his neck writhed
“Glad you boys feel that way,” like a firehose under pressure.
said Jackson. He turned to Erum. “Mun!” one of the aldermen
“Well, let’s get it over with, said quickly to the Borough
okay?” President.
“Mun-mun-mun,” Emm re- “Mun mun-mun mun?” the
plied. “Mun, mun-mun.” Borough President answered pit-
Jackson stared at him for sev- eously, his voice breaking on the
eral seconds. Then he said, in a last word.
low, controlled voice, “Erum, “So you won’t talk sense,
baby, just exactly what are you huh?”
trying to say to me?” “Mun! Mun-mun!” the mayor
“Mun, mun, mun,” Erum stat- cried his face gone ashen with
ed firmly. “Mun, mun mun mun. fright.

SHALL WE HAVE A LITTLE TALK 191

 others looked, and saw
Jackson’s right hand
clearing the blaster and taking
aim at Erum’s chest.
“Quit horsing around!” Jack-
spn commanded. The vein in his
neck pulsed like a python in
travail.
“Mun - mun - mun!”
pleaded, dropping to his knees.
“Mun-mun-mun!” the mayor
shrieked, rolling his eyes and
fainting.
“You get it now,” Jackson said
to Erum. His finger whitened on
the trigger.
Erum, his teeth chattering,
managed to gasp out a strangled
“Mun-mun, mun?” But then his
nerves gave way and he waited
for death with jaw agape and
eyes unfocused.
Jackson took up the last frac-
tion of slack in the trigger.
abruptly, he let up and shoved
the blaster back in its holster.
“Mun, mun!” Erum managed
to say.
“Shaddap,” Jackson said. He
Stepped back and glared at the
cringing Naian officials.
He would have dearly loved
to blast them
all. But he couldn’t
do it. Jackson had to come to a
belated acknowledgement of an
unacceptable reality.
His impeccable linguist’s ear
had heard, and his polyglot brain
had analyzed. Dismayingly he
had realized that the Naians were
192
not trying to put anything over
on him. They were speaking, not
nonsense, but a true language.
This language was made up at
present of the single sound ‘mun.’
This sound could carry an exten-
sive repei'toire of meanings
through variations in pitch and
Erum pattern, changes in stress and
quantity, alteration of rhythm
and repetition, and through ac-
companying gestures and facial
expressions.
A language consisting of infin-
ite variationson a single word!
Jackson didn’t want to believe it,
but he was too good a linguist to
doubt the evidence of his own
trained senses.
He could learn this language,
of course.
But by the time he had learned
it, what would it have changed
Then, into?
ackson sighed and rubbed his
J face wearily. In a sense it
was inevitable. All languages
change. But on Earth and the few
dozen worlds she had contacted,
the languages changed with rel-
ative slowness.
On Na, the rate of change was
faster. Quite a bit faster.
The Na language changed like
fashions change ’'on Earth, only
faster. changed like prices
It
change or like the weather chang-
es. It changed endlessly and in-
cessantly, in accordance with un-
GALAXY
 ”

known rules and invisible prin- 'and he looked upon the officials
ciples.It changed its form like with something approaching awe.
an avalanche changes its shape. “You’ve done it, boys,” he told
Compared with it, English was them. “You’ve beaten the system.
like a glacier. Old Earth could swallow you and
The Na language was, truly never notice the difference: yoU
and monstrously, a simulacrum couldn’t do a damned thing about
of Heraclitus’s river. it. But the folks back home like

You cannot step into the same their legalism, and our law says
river twice,said Heraclitus: for that we must be in a state of
other waters are forever flowing communication as a prior condi-
on. tion to any transaction.”
Concerning the language of “Mun?” Erum asked politely.
Na, this was simply and literally “So I guess that means I leave
true. you folks alone,” Jackson said.
That made it bad enough. But “At least, I do as long as they
even worse was the fact that an keep that law on the books. But
observer like Jackson could never what the hell, a reprieve 's the
hope to fix or isolate even one best anyone can ask for. Eh?”
term out of the dynamic shifting “Mun mun,” the mayor said
network of terms that composed hesitantly.
the Na language. For the observ- “I’ll be getting along now,”
er's action would be gross enough Jackson said. “Fair’s fair . . .

by disrupt and alter the

itself to But ifever find out that you
I

system, causing it to change un- Naians were putting one over on

predictably. And so, if the term me—
were isolated, its relationship to He left the sentence unfinished.
the other terms in the system Without another word, Jackson
would necessarily be destroyed, turned and went back to his ship.
and the term itself, by definition, In half an hour he was space-
would be false. worthy, and fifteen minutes after
By the fact of its change, the that he was underway.
language was rendered imperv-
ious to codification and control. VI
Tlirough indeterminacy, the Na
longue resisted all attempts to n Emm’s the officials
office,
coiu|uer it. And Jackson had I watched while Jackson’s
gone from Heraclitus to Heisen- spaceship glowed like a comet in
berg without touching second the dark afternoon sky. It dwin-
base. He was dazed and dazzled, dled to a brilliant needle-point,
SHALL WE HAVE A LITTLE TALK? 193
and then vanished into the vast-
ness of space.
The officials were silent for a
moment; then they turned and
looked at each other. Suddenly,
spontaneously, they burst into
laughter. Harder and harder they
laughed, clutching their sides
while tears rolled down their
young mouth twisted downward
in premature cynicism. He said
quite harshly, “Mun! Mun-mun!
Mun?”
His shocking words were no
more than the hasty cruelty of
the young; but such a statement |
could not go unchallenged. And ^
the venerable first alderman ’

cheeks. stepped forward to essay a reply.

The mayor was the first to
check the hysteria. Getting a grip
on himself he said, “Mun, mun,
mun-mun.”
This thought instantly sobered
the others. Their mirth died
away. Uneasily they contemplat-
ed the distant unfriendly sky, and
they thought back over their re-
cent adventures.
At last Erum
young asked,
“Mun-mun? Mun-mun?”
Several of the officials smiled
at the naivete of the question.
And none could answer that
yet,
simple yet crucial demand. Why
indeed? Did anyone dare hazard
even a guess?
It was a perplexity leaving in
doubt not only the future but the
“Mun mun, mun-mun,” the old
man said, with disarming sim-
plicity. “Mun mun mun-rnun?
Mun mun-mun-mun. Mun mun
mun; mun mun mun; mun mun.
Mun, mun mun mun—mun mun
mun. Mun-mun? Mun mun mun
mun!”
This straightforward declara-
tion of faith pierced Erum to the
core of his being. Tears sprang
unanticipated to his eyes. All
postures forgotten, he turned to
the sky, clenched his fist and
shouted, “Mun! Mun! Mun-
mun!”
Smiling serenely, the old aider-
man murmured, “Mun-mun-
mun; mun, mun-mun.”
This was, ironically enough, ^

past as well. And, if a real an- the marvellous and frightening

swer were unthinkable, then no truth of the situation. Perhaps
answer at all was surely insup- it was just as well that the others

portable. did not hear.

The silence grew, and Emm’s —ROBERT SHECKLEY
OF GODLIKE POWER by Mack Reynolds f
I
CATCH A TARTAR by Gordon R. Dickson i
I
CYCLOPS by Frifz Leiber I
THEORIES WANTED by R. Richardson
S. I

—all in the September Worlds of Tomorrow, on sale now!

- GALAXY
194
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 .

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By J. D. Ratcliff

T can’t imagine why more beginners don’t

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