Conflict Information Gathering

Techniques
1. Active Listening
2. Reframing
3. Questioning
4. Brain Storming
5. Self-Disclosing
6. Confirming
 Active Listening

“ A skill in which the

listeners demonstrate
that they understand
what the speaker is
saying both verbally and
nonverbally.”
 Active Listening
One of the biggest issues in conflict
management is the issue of listening.
Problems with listening:
Cognitive issue (hearing is not listening)
 Active Listening

How to resolve the problem?

1. Listen with intensity

(Concentrate on the speakers
message)

2. Listen with empathy (feelings,

emotions, to put oneself in
speaker’s shoes) try to
understand what the speaker
wants to communicate rather
than to believe.
 Active Listening

3. Acceptance of what we are hearing (it doesn't

mean to agree with speaker)

4. Taking responsibility for completeness (get

complete message, ask questions to assure
understanding
 Active Listening

Why active listening? Benefits:

• Opportunity to build a relationship with another
person at a deeper level.
• Opportunity to learn
• Separates us from the majority of the population.
• Enhances mediation skills.
• Develops trust & confidence
 Active Listening

Tips for better listening:

• Make eye contact
• Non-verbal behavior to show interest
For example; poses, gestures, winkling
eyes, smile, etc
 Active Listening

Tips for better listening:

• Avoid distracting action;

For example; Interruption, Receiving calls
during the session, approaching for
physical needs like (thirst, hunger,
washroom, other necessities)
 Active Listening

Tips for better listening:

• Paraphrase;
For example; you are right, Yea, great,
wonderful, tell me more about it, etc.
• Avoid to talk too much (As you are listener)
• Confront your biases
 Reframing

To frame again
To re-describe from a
different perspective
To re-label
Framing refers to the way a conflict is
described or a proposal is worded; reframing
is the process of changing the way a thought
is presented so that it maintains its
fundamental meaning but is more likely to
support resolution efforts."
 Reframing

“Reframing is a technique of changing

one's perspective or changing a meaning
of something.”
“Reframing is a way of challenging
yourself to see the positive in everything
that is happening around you.”
 Reframing

• Types of Reframing:
There are two types of reframing

– Context Reframing

– Content Reframing
 Reframing

– Context Reframing
“The meaning of any behavior or event exists
only in relationship to the context in which it
occurs.”
 Context Reframing
He’s too mean with his money.
She’s slow
It’s expensive
• He’s too mean with his money – And it’s that very skill
which has allowed him to pay for a very fine education
for each of his children.
• She’s slow – And when you find yourself absorbed in
one of her books not only will you appreciate every
single second she poured into it, you’ll also
understand exactly why they fly off the shelves.
• It’s expensive – What would be really expensive
would be buying the other one which costs 10% less
but lasts half as long. This one – by comparison, is an
absolute bargain!
 Reframing
– Content Reframing
“Content reframing is simply
changing the meaning of
situation, that is, the situation or
behavior stays the same, but the
meaning is changed.
For example; A famous general
reframed a distressful situation
for his troops by telling them that
“We’re not retreating, we’re just
advancing in another direction”
 Reframing

• Steps in Reframing
• Identify a problem
• Identify the part, and get different signals for
'Yes' and 'No'.
• Get the part's positive intention, and ask it 'If
you were given ways of achieving this intention
just as well or even better than now, would you
be willing to try them out for a week or so?'
 Reframing

• Ask your creative part to generate many

possible solutions (it does not have to find only
good ones!) while the part in question gives a
'Yes' signal when there is a solution it thinks it
might use. Get at least three.
• Ask the part if it will try these in the next few
weeks.
• Check that there aren't any objecting parts.
 Reframing

• Establish communication with the part which

is responsible for the behavior
• For example, when you hear that another has
got the job you really longed for, and you want to
be decent and congratulate them, but when you
do so you feel that sense of discomfort. Can you
turn that off?
 Questioning
• Questioning is a major form of
human thought and
interpersonal communication.
The thinker employs a series of
questions to explore an issue,
an idea or something
intriguing. Questioning is the
process of forming and
wielding that series to develop
answers and insight.
 Brainstorming
•Brainstorming is a means of
generating ideas.
•Brainstorming can be used to
identify alternatives, obtain a
complete list of items and to
solve problems.
•The common principle of
brainstorming is to set aside the
restrictive thinking processes so
that many ideas can be
generated.
 Self-Disclosure Defined
• The process of letting another person
know what you think, feel, or want
• Revealing private, personal information
that can not be acquire somewhere else
• Usually involves some degree of risk
 Self-Description Defined
• Self-description involves disclosure of
nonthreatening information
– age
– favorite food
– where you went to school
• Information that can usually be acquired in
some other way
• Differs from self-disclosure
 Self-Disclosure
• Examples include your feelings about
– being a member of a minority group
– job security
– policies and procedures
Four Benefits of Self-Disclosure
• Increased accuracy in communication
• Reduction of stress
• Increased self-awareness
• Stronger relationships
The Johari Window: A Model for
Self-Understanding
• Model considers that there is information
– you and others know
– only you know about yourself
– only others know about you
– nobody knows
Johari Window

Figure 8.2

Source: Joseph Luft, Group Processes: An Introduction to Group Dynamics. Copyright ©

1984. Mayfield Publishing Company. Reprinted by permission of the publisher.
 The Four Panes of the
Johari Window
• Open
• Blind
• Hidden
• Unknown
 Open Area
• Represents the “public” or “awareness”
area and contains information that both
you and others know
• Information that you don’t mind admitting
• Gets bigger over time as relationships
mature
 Open Area
• A productive relationship is related to the
amount of mutually held information
• Building a relationship involved expanding
this area
 Blind Area
• Information about yourself that others
know but you are not yet aware
• Others may see you differently than you
see yourself
• Effective relations strive to reduce this
area
• Open communication encourages people
to give you feedback
 Hidden Area
• Information that you know that others do
not
• Private feelings, needs, and past
experiences that you prefer to keep to
yourself
• If this area is too large, you can be
perceived as lacking authenticity
 Unknown Area
• Information that is unknown to you and to
others
• Areas of unrecognized talent, motives, or
early childhood memories that influence
your behavior
• Always present, never disappears
• Open communication can expose some of
this area
Self Disclosure