Jessica Vo

Professor Phillip Broadbent

Writing 39C
01 June 2018

Introduction

Walking through that door, the door to room 162, I didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t
know what to expect. Was it going to be just as hard as Writing 39B or even harder? There were
rumors, “writing 39c is really time-consuming and is a research class, I don’t recommend taking
it unless you have a lot of time on your hands”. In hearing “research” and “time-consuming”, I
was intimidated because I knew that I was never good at conducting research nor did I have a lot
of time on my hands considering the fact that I was taking other classes too. To my surprise,
despite the timing of the class, 6:30pm-8:00pm, I actually loved listening and participating in
debates in every class and never did I dread attending. My new liking for the course changed my
mind about the course and its demands, but I began to feel the wrath of Writing 39C soon after
the first draft of the first project. Things got rough. I didn’t know when and where to start. I
didn’t know how to research. I didn’t know where to find reliable sources. I was scared, but
Professor Broadbent guided us through in-class activities and minor assignments. I would have
never thought that these in-class activities would be helpful to me in any way, but I was wrong.
Participation in in-class activities helped each and every one of us to better grasp the concepts of
texts, sharpen our analytical skills, learn where to get information for research, and be more
persuading to our audiences. In all, through these activities and projects, I’ve definitely learned
how to be more convincing in my arguments through better use of sources, proper framing, and
use of multimodal elements. I will, now, carry this onto the courses that I take and throughout
my career because I plan on doing psychology-related research in the future. In a way, I’ve
blossomed into a better writer that can now properly analyze texts and create convincing
arguments but have yet to be a William Shakespeare.

My Process
Coming into Writing 39C, I didn’t know what to expect and assumed that the class
would’ve been very much like any other tedious writing course with a heavy workload. I thought
that this course would have consisted of regular debates, many essays, and endless projects, but I
was wrong and I actually ended up enjoying the course much more than Writing 39B.
Throughout the quarter, I gradually learned how to get my point across in a clearer and more
concise manner, since I tend to overexaggerate my points. Additionally, I also learned how to
better persuade my audiences by using multimodal elements, framing arguments around a central
event, and properly providing evidence from research databases offered by UCI. So, how did
you do this, Jessica?
Before I go into detail about my journey through Writing 39C, I want you to picture and
know that I’ve always been a very impulsive writer that doesn’t think too much about her
writing. I’ve never been very good at putting my thoughts on paper, as you can probably already
tell. That being said, I know, for a fact, Writing 39C has definitely changed me as a writer
because I, now, have to think about what I am writing about before putting it onto paper. It
wasn’t like Writing 39B, it took much more effort to clearly get my point across and to make an
appealing argument.

Just to fill you in on a little of my backstory from high school to Writing39B, coming into
Writing 39B, I was an arrogant, pre-mature freshman that assumed she knew what she was
Jessica Vo
Professor Phillip Broadbent
Writing 39C
01 June 2018

doing, considering I always good grades in my AP lang class. Of course, I was wrong and I’ve
learned a lot throughout this writing 39 series. Coming out of Writing39B, I’ve learned how to
properly transition between paragraphs, better appeal to audiences by using one or more of the
three rhetorical appeals, analyze texts, be more specific in explaining evidence that I provide, but
still have been working on my ability to better understand what prompts are asking me to do, be
less vague in my papers, and properly research for my projects.

The image below is from my “End of the Year Portfolio” for my senior writing class in
high school. I was confident, but I lacked the ability to actually write like a senior. I wrote like a
middle schooler, or even a 5th grader. My transitions were basic and so were my sentences.

Figure 1. This is a screenshot of my final End of the Year Portfolio in my senior writing class in high school.
 Jessica Vo
Professor Phillip Broadbent
Writing 39C
01 June 2018

In these two images below from the beginning of Writing 39B to the end of Writing 39B,
you can see that I definitely have improved in my transitioning from paragraphs.

Figure 2. This is a screenshot from my Critical Writing Assignment #3 that I wrote in my Writing 39B class.

Figure 3. This is a screenshot from my Critical Writing Assignment #3 that I wrote in my Writing 39B class.

Before I move on to talk about how I improved throughout Writing 39C, I want you to
see how my writing was at the end of Writing 39B so that you have an idea of how I was. I
definitely was no Charles Dickens or Mark Twain, but I had made major improvements that I
was proud of.

Figure 4. This is a screenshot from my Rhetorical Analysis Companion Essay from Writing
39B.
Jessica Vo
Professor Phillip Broadbent
Writing 39C
01 June 2018

In the image above, I was decent, but not amazing. I still constructed very basic sentences
with little to no major support from my evidence. These “biases” were also found off of Google
and will never be as credible as scholarly sources from UCI’s research database.
With the first assignment of Writing 39C being an HCP pitch, I threw some words on the
page and submitted it, thinking that I did a fairly decent job, but it didn’t make the cut.

Figure 5. This is a screenshot of Professor Broadbent's comment for my HCP Pitch.

This, here, was my wake-up call. In this moment, upon reading this comment, I knew that
it would definitely take a whole lot more effort if I wanted to get a good grade in this class. zI
couldn’t just throw in evidence anywhere, but actually had to think about where I was placing
each piece and why. My HCP pitch would have made the cut in Writing 39B, but since it didn’t
make the cut here, I knew that I wouldn’t be going far in this course if I kept up my act.
I started doing more research, putting much more time into this course. I started caring a
lot about this course, not only because of that first comment, but also because I started to take a
liking in conducting research. Yes, it’s long. Yes, it’s tedious, but I wanted to make a change in
my own writing process. I wasn’t going to settle for a good grade that I didn’t put a lot of effort
into. I wanted to earn that grade and be proud of the obstacles I faced in earning that grade.
Attached is a paragraph from that HCP pitch that Professor Philip Broadbent commented on and
changed my mindset on my own writing.

Figure 6. This is a screenshot of my HCP Pitch.

Now, you know. Now, you can see that I only attempted to answer questions in prompts
without providing “good” evidence nor good thought in my words. I simply argued that that
problem in today’s society is human trafficking and a piece of evidence that I used to support
Jessica Vo
Professor Phillip Broadbent
Writing 39C
01 June 2018

this was a random sentence that just stated human trafficking is trending because it is the
quickest way to make money, but the evidence was very vague and week. After going through
Writing 39C and now, look back at my old drafts, I sure am disappointed in how I was as a
writer before. I’m very proud of the changes I’ve made and different techniques that I’ve adapted
to, in order to become a better writer.
Over the course of the quarter, I didn’t hastily throw things together. My writing process
shifted into thinking about what I was writing because I knew that if I threw random words onto
the paper, I wouldn’t have improved like I wanted to. I started to brainstorm and write outlines.
In the image below, you can see that I attempted to do an outline, but it was no proper outline. It
was better to start off with a small outline instead of no outline, like my usually approach in
writing essays.

The image below is an outline I had made for my HCP. If you knew me before this
course, I would have never made outlines for anything because I was very impulsive and
disorganized.

Figure 7. This is a screenshot of my attempted HCP Outline.

Jessica Vo
Professor Phillip Broadbent
Writing 39C
01 June 2018

Figure 8. This is a screenshot of Professor Broadbent’s comment on my HCP Draft after I had tried
to frame my draft with a modern-day event.

This image above is from my first draft for the HCP. I’ve never felt so proud and
accomplished with my work. I worked really hard on the draft and really tried to create a great
argument, to create a concern of human trafficking’s existence in today’s society. In this
moment, in seeing this feedback, I saw that my hard work had paid off. I tried very hard in that
draft and now, I try very hard in Writing 39C. In all of the upcoming classes for Writing 39C, I
took notes, constant notes, so that I’d remember every little detail from the lecture because I
knew that these lectures were helping me become a better writer.
Jessica Vo
Professor Phillip Broadbent
Writing 39C
01 June 2018

Figure 9. This is a screenshot of notes I’ve started to take for my drafts, since I learned that what you put into
this class will be what you get out of it.

Honestly, I’ve never tried as hard in a writing class as much as I’ve tried in Writing 39C.
My views on writing have definitely changed for the better because I, now, see the importance of
writing in our daily lives. In all, I’ve learned where to find scholarly articles and trustworthy
pieces of evidence in UCI’s research database as well as properly placing my evidence in fit
areas and not just throwing random pieces of evidence into my papers and calling it a paper.
Additionally, we all use rhetoric and writing skills in coming up with convincing arguments in
all of our daily lives; that being convincing employers that you are the superior candidate in
interviews or cover letters, convincing your parents to let you do spontaneous things, or even
convincing people on Craigslist to buy your used car.
Jessica Vo
Professor Phillip Broadbent
Writing 39C
01 June 2018

Rhetoric, Argumentation, & Multi-modal Communication

“Don’t forget to include multi-modal elements in your HCP”. I didn’t know what that
meant. What were multi-modal elements? I wasn’t sure if we were already expected to know
what multi-modal elements were so I did a little research and searched up what multi-modal
elements were. A few minutes after I had searched it up, someone asked what it was and
Professor Philip Broadbent explained. I was confused because we were always instructed to add
pictures to our essays in high school, but nobody ever mentioned “multimodality” so I was
confused. The more Professor started to explain and incorporate it into our classroom activities,
the more I started to understand its purpose. I can say that I really like having multi-modal
components in my work because a long essay will bore just anyone. The pictures and different
modes that are used to keep the reader engaged seemed fascinating to me.

In adding multi-modal elements and incorporating them into my HCP, I finally saw that
each picture, each element had its own story and presented its own message. I really enjoyed the
idea of different modes of communication speaking for themselves and promoting their own
messages.

Figure 10. This is a screenshot of my final HCP draft in which I used multimodal elements for the first time.
Jessica Vo
Professor Phillip Broadbent
Writing 39C
01 June 2018

As you can see in the image above, from my final HCP draft, this photo of hands being
cuffed brought out the urgency of my topic without saying anything. If you notice, on the right
side of the photo, I am talking about President Trump’s inauguration and people being trafficked
and found dead. The photo seemed irrelevant to what I was talking about in close proximity to
the photo, but the photo was referring to the bigger picture, the bigger message, “human
trafficking is real and is happening all around us, as we speak”. In all, I’ve learned how to better
enhance my dry, boring essays, by adding multimodal elements, adding a bit of “pizazz” and
color into my papers, keeping the readers engaged and convinced.

Revision

I’ve always been a very unconfident and unsure writer. By that, I mean to say I’ve always
been unsure of what to fix in my essays and what to leave as is. Although peer and professor
feedback has always been quite clear, I usually have the tendency to overanalyze comments,
which drives me to be unsure of what to fix and focus on. That being said, since I wanted to
make a change and improve in my writing, I had the tendency to always reach out to Professor
Broadbent to clarify comments and to hear me out on my revising plans to see whether or not
I’m on the right track.

Figure 11. This is a screenshot of Professor Broadbent’s comment for my first HCP draft.

You would think that I just overanalyzed complicated comments, right? In this image
above, I even overanalyzed this comment. Edit every part that has a comment? Edit the whole
paragraph that comments refer to or just the sentence? I was always unsure and I was glad that I
had the proper sources, Professor Philip Broadbent, to clarify my questions and concerns.

I went through a new writing process when learning that revisions are and will always be
good for improving your essays. In getting my questions answered, I tended to write several
drafts before submitting a first draft or any draft for any assignment. I, now, like to write
Jessica Vo
Professor Phillip Broadbent
Writing 39C
01 June 2018

multiple drafts with every draft making a different approach. From there, I will pick the draft that
most suits the prompt and still represents me.

Figure 12. This is a screenshot of all my drafts that I now make before submitting a final
draft.

The image above shows how many drafts I went through in trying to formulate the
perfect HCP. Overall, nobody can ever make “too” many drafts because every draft you go
through, the clearer your own message becomes to you, especially for me.

Transferability

It was a rough quarter, but this course has surprisingly improved my writing more than
Writing 39B and Professor Philip Broadbent has definitely taught me a very important life skill,
confidence. Coming into the quarter, I was a very shy individual. Considering everything I’ve
gone through I’ve lost the little voice that I finally gained in my senior year of high school. With
Professor Philip Broadbent’s passion for literature and teaching students, he wanted each and
every one of us to have a voice, an opinion. I really liked that about this course because we all
were respectful of one another’s opinions, yet still contributed to each person’s plate with new
ideas and different ways to revise their arguments.
Jessica Vo
Professor Phillip Broadbent
Writing 39C
01 June 2018

After making it so far in this course, I can confidently say that I’ve learned to argue for
my opinions through framing and better use of multimodal elements. Through the constant
discussions and debates in class, I’ve also learned better presentation and speaking skills that I
will continue to use in interviews, work places, on cover letters and resumes, and in my daily
conversations. Alongside learning how to better present my arguments, I’ve learned to take a
liking in using multimodal elements that speak for themselves and allow for different
interpretations of my paper, bringing a whole new element into the game. That being said, I still
want to expand my vocabulary and still improve my persuasive writing skills, but for now, I will
bring what I’ve learned into my future psychology-related research and daily activities.