By Paul Toth

Illustrations by Allan Wong

Copyright ©2007 Paul Toth, Allan Wong

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How to Entertain Your Betta Fish

First Edition
Two New Little Homes . . . . . . . . .7
The Acrobat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13
The Hunter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21
Fish In Space . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31
Don’t Settle, you can
Always do Betta . . . . . . . . . . . .39
(Un)suitable Betta Partners . . . . . .47

5
It was 1992 and my wife and I had just
settled into our new apartment in down-
town Vancouver. Sharing our first home
was a big step for us and each and every
square foot was precious, especially since
there were only 450 of them. After cram-
ming stuff into every crack and crevice,
something was still missing to make our
apartment into a home. We decided to
make an even bigger leap of responsibility:
we bought a Betta Fish.

I thought it was pretty cool to own a pet

known as the “Siamese Fighting Fish”

7
however much of that initial enthusiasm
was lost when my wife named it “Fishy
Wishy”. Either way, we were both excited
about our new family member…but
Fishy Wishy did not appear to share our
enthusiasm.
I was concerned. “Fishy Wishy looks a
little bored, he needs something to do,”
I said to my wife. “It’s just a fish” she
replied. To me, such simple logic did not
apply here. This is not “Just a fish”. This
is a Siamese Fighting Fish and he would
naturally require a world of adventure.
Currently his world of adventure consisted
of a 250 ml glass jar filled with water.
Clearly something needed to be done and
I was the man to do it.
First I needed to expand Fishy Wishy’s
geographical potential. A five gallon tank
was hastily purchased, setup with various
9
plastic toys and even though Bettas can
breath air much like us humans, the tank
was outfitted with an aerator and water filter.
But Fishy Wishy was still bored.
I suspected that Fishy Wishy was lonely
so, one by one, various fish friends were
introduced to his five gallon world.
Despite my efforts, he was clearly not im-
pressed, taking on a look of “you-expect-
a-Siamese-Fighting-Fish-to-play-around-
with-these-garden-variety-pet-store-fish”?
I was starting to lose confidence in my
ability to alleviate Fishy Wishy’s boredom.
My wife kept saying “Don’t worry honey,
it’s just a fish.”
“Just a fish.”
11
Then one day as I walked past the tank,
Fishy Wishy swam along, following me from
one end to the other. A quick statistically
valid random sampling of two more times
indicated that indeed, Fishy Wishy was
following me and therefore, logically, he
was much more than “Just a fish”. He
needed a better world, one where he could
show his true character.
I decided to work with his natural abilities
first. I read a book that said Betta Fish can
catch flying insects in mid air. Now that
sounded like something worthy of a Fighting
Fish! At the time we were feeding Fishy
Wishy tiny dried bloodworms (doesn’t that
sound tasty). Incidentally, this is the only
substance I know of that I am allergic to,
causing me to sneeze uncontrollably each
time I would open the container. Sneezing
away, I would dip a thread into the water
and then dip the wet thread into the
container of worms. One or two worms
would stick to the thread quite nicely and
13
I would then lower the worms just above
the surface of the fish tank. Several hours
and two boxes of tissue paper later, Fishy
Wishy took his first airborne victim. I was
thrilled with what my Fighting Fish was
capable of. My wife was more concerned
with what I was capable of.
Over and over I would follow this proce-
dure, each time raising the thread a little
higher. Eventually I simply taped the
thread to a shelf overhanging the fish tank
and let Fishy Wishy take his prey whenever
ready. Before too long he was clearing the
tank by a good three inches.
Proud of my Fighting Fish’s strength and
accuracy I wanted my wife to witness this
display first hand. I decided to setup the
worm baited thread higher than ever
before: six inches above the tank. I knew
this would be a challenge even for strong
Fishy Wishy but since the tank was next
to our dinner table, my wife and I could
dine at our leisure until the moment to
strike arrived.
Patience…You can do it…Take your time…
“Splish!” Lift off! Perfect form! Fully
airborne! Six inches!…
15
Did you know that Betta Fish have teeth? After all, this is not
I didn’t either. Apparently I missed this in “Just a fish” (but in
my readings. But teeth they have and reality I had no
Fishy Wishy sunk every one of them into clue what to do
that tasty dried worm…and unfortunately next).
also into the thread that held the worm six
inches in the air. For some reason, these
teeth seem to be good at biting into but
not letting go of their prey.

So there was Fishy Wishy, flapping around

in mid air, dangling from a thread tied to
a shelf. My wife’s screaming “Do SOME-
THING! He’s going to die!” I’m pretending
to take my time as evidence that there’s
nothing to worry about.

17
Fortunately, Fishy Wishy, like all respect-
able Fighting Fish, knew the show was
over and his return to Water World was
long overdue. He released his death grip
and gently splashed down. In one leap,
Fishy Wishy had the ladies terrified and
earned the respect of his master…a true
“Dear Sir, It has come to our attention that
warrior. you have been exhibiting a pattern of Betta
Fish abuse. S.O.B. Betta Bylaw 13.2 subsection A
clearly states that any Betta caregiver must
provide a healthy and caring environment for
all Bettas on their premises. A full report has
been submitted to the S.O.B. Betta Abuse Council
and this incident will be placed in your
permanent file. Bylaw 13.2 subsection H provides
you with 48 hours to appeal.

Sincerely
Mr. T.J. Splendens
President S.O.B.
Save Our Bettas Foundation”

19
“Dried Bloodworms”. Does that sound like
appropriate prey for a Fighting Fish? I didn’t
think so. Fishy Wishy needed something
more challenging. Off to the pet store
I went.

I discovered the wonders of “brine shrimp”.

Brine shrimp are very tiny creatures that
swim around in salt water. The pet store
worker will scoop up a quantity of brine
shrimp equivalent to half the population
of a small country and put them in a bag
of water for the easy price of $2.00.

21
Arriving home beaming at the thought of
feeding live prey to Fishy Wishy it dawned
on me, fresh water Bettas…salt water
brine shrimp? Problem.
Not one to let a small technicality slow me
down I decided to take out a couple brine
shrimp, rinse them in fresh water and
release them into Fishy Wishy’s tank. The
brine shrimp didn’t seem to mind their
new environment, possibly because we all
expected their visit to be a short one.
My first observation was that Fish Wishy
seemed to “hear” the brine shrimp before
he could see them. The shrimp were
behind a rock and there was no line of
sight between them and their new predator.
Fishy Wishy immediately went into “hunter
mode” as I looked on in anticipation.
Fishy Wishy closed in on his prey, then
paused, and again moved even closer.
Within seconds he took his first victim and
then his second. He never felt so alive
before…“we” never felt so alive! What
could be better than lightly salted shrimp
snacks that you can hunt down and eat,
all without having to leave your home?
With a rinsing bowl of fresh water and a
bag of potato chips, both of us snacked
through the rest of the afternoon.
23
Brine shrimp do not last forever in a bag
of water and unfortunately I had about
30,000 remaining. Putting them in the
refrigerator helped slow their decay but as
they started to go belly up one by one
I desperately needed a way to preserve
Fishy Wishy’s food supply. After all, $2.00
here and $2.00 there can add up quickly.

I thought, “If cooling them down in the

refrigerator helped slow their decay then
let’s go all the way.” I would put them in
the freezer but before I go on, some points
of clarification.

25
First: Unlike Sea Monkeys, after freezing
or drying, brine shrimp do not come back
to life. I was so disappointed.
Second: While it is evident that I can
become somewhat attached to a pet fish,
brine shrimp do not fall into the same cat-
egory. Brine shrimp are objects of food for
my beloved pet. In my mind, they are not,
themselves, pets. They are pet food and
as such, being frozen to death is perfectly
justifyable in this case. It is important to
set your priorities straight, right from the
start: Pet, Pet Food.
Now that we cleared that up, how would
I freeze 30,000 fresh water-rinsed brine
shrimp? In ice cube trays, of course. Yes
guests could get confused while mixing
drinks but the convenience was too hard
to resist. I mean, after all, each cube
would be like a little Betta Fish frozen TV
dinner. Pop it out of the freezer, directly
into the tank, wait 30 seconds and dinner
is served.
Fishy Wishy tried pressing his fish lips
against his first ice cubed dinner but that
proved uncomfortable so he resolved to
simply wait below the floating mass. As it
thawed, one by one little shrimp snacks
27
would drift down and Fishy Wishy would
snatch them up. So much entertainment
for just $2.00 a bag!

“Dear Sir, Further to our initial letter, S.O.B.

has received further reports of Bylaw 16.3 and
23.7 infractions on your premises. This matter
has been submitted to S.O.B. Betta Abuse Council
for immediate recommendation of remedial action.
If you are deemed to be an unfit Betta caregiver,
Fishy Wishy will be removed from your premises.
We have also notified the Save Our Brine Shrimp
(S.O.B.S.) Foundation of this very serious matter.

Sincerely
Mr. T.J. Splendens
President S.O.B.
Save Our Bettas Foundation”

29
Fishy Wishy’s life started out in a small
plastic cup. His next home was a small
glass jar and later he enjoyed the luxury of
a five gallon tank with water filter and aer-
ator. But let’s face it, his tank was much
like every other fish’s tank: Standard issue
with standard options: plastic water toys,
fake rocks, the occasional half dead plant.
I wanted Fishy Wishy to move up in the
world. He was better than the other fish
and therefore needed better accommoda-
tions. If the fish tank was an apartment
building then Fishy Wishy should live in
the penthouse suite. I had grand plans but

31
my wife had just enrolled in university to
get her teaching degree and so she put
a lid on any new purchases which unfortu-
nately included fishy penthouses. I needed
to be creative with a low budget.
Penthouse suites are up, on the top floor,
overlooking the residents below. I needed
to somehow elevate Fishy Wishy above the
others. I thought of tubes, elevators, ramps,
and canals but these were all complex and
potentially expensive schemes. In the end
the solution was simple. I took a large
clear glass cranberry juice bottle, filled it
with water, inverted it in the tank and
raised it up, stopping just before leaving
the tank’s surface. I expect most people
will remember the science behind this,
something about atmospheric pressure on
the outside matching the inside pressure
but for me all that mattered was that I had
a water filled penthouse suite ready for my
Fishy Wishy. I used some old particleboard
to keep the bottle permanently suspended
above the tank. Total cost: $0.00
While I was certain this was the right
home for Fishy Wishy, Fishy Wishy was not
so sure. You see, for a fish, the water’s sur-
face is a sacred barrier to be treated with
ultimate respect. Below it is “fish-world”
while above it is a world for creatures who
33
serve the fish (and the occasional thread-
suspended dried bloodworm which, for
some reason unknown to the fish world
inhabitants, has not been seen in ages).
As a fish…well, as a Fighting Fish…you
can venture into the world above but only
very briefly. Extended visits result in
certain death.
Over and over Fishy Wishy would swim up
to where the water surface should have
been…and stop. The sacred barrier should
be there, but it was not. It was now a portal
into the other universe. “Should I cross
over? Can I ever return? Will I die?”
Days went by.
Then after days of me sitting, staring,
watching, he finally crossed over, up into
the portal, boldly going where no fish has
gone before, looking down upon Water
World below him. A small step for a fish,
a big step for fishkind. My wife and I,
well…I celebrated for the rest of the day.
Fishy Wishy took up residence in the pent-
house suite rather quickly. Because of the
curvature of the jar he appeared larger
than life relative to the fish below. This
made Fishy Wishy and I both feel good
with me noting to my wife “Honey! Look
how big he looks!”
“It’s just a…never mind.”
35
Having established the penthouse as his
territorial home, other fish that would
come close to the barrier portal would be
quickly chased off. Brine shrimp, not
being smart enough to understand portals
and parallel universes, would occasionally
venture across the barrier and into the
suite. From Fishy Wishy’s perspective, this
was some curious combination of home-
invasion and ordering-in. The penthouse
was clearly exclusive Fishy Wishy territory.

But then, alone in his penthouse suite,

Fishy Wishy became lonely. Something
was missing…

37
Fishy Wishy was well set up. He was a
strong fish having honed his hunting skills.
He had plenty of food. He had the best pad
in all of Water World. What he needed now
was someone to share his fortune with. He
needed a female partner.

Now let’s be clear about something. I liked

Fishy Wishy but one fish was enough.
I was not ready to start a family of fish.
Under the title of “How to Entertain Your
Betta Fish” a supply of female Bettas
would likely be at the top of Fishy Wishy’s

39
list but you have to draw the line some-
where. He would have to settle for a rea-
sonable substitute.
With lonely Fishy Wishy gawking on
through his penthouse suite I picked up a
Betta Fish book I had bought some time
ago. As I flipped through the book I found
a small picture of a female Betta on page
23. For those who don’t know already,
male Bettas are the amazingly beautiful of
the two sexes. The females are not nearly
as attractive as the males. (My wife says
it’s just the opposite with humans, or at
least it is in our household.) But beauty is
in the eye of the beholder and by simply
lifting page 23 up to the Penthouse, Fishy
Wishy immediately changed his expres-
sion. “Hellllllo!”
I allowed page 23 to “swim” past the tank
a few times. It was clear that this was what
Fishy Wishy was looking for. He was now
swimming in circles.
Suspecting that a female fish being
followed by several hundred words of text
may not be conducive to the full effect,
I got out a pair of scissors and extracted
the essential ingredient from page 23.
With a little wire and tape, I had a reason-
able facsimile of a female Betta.
41
I spent most of the afternoon doing my
best to make the paper cutout as attractive
as possible, perfecting the “seductive swim
by” with each pass. Part way through the
process my wife came home. She stopped
dead in her tracks and stared at me.
“That’s sick.” Trying to be smart I replied,
“But honey, it’s just a fish”. That didn’t
help much. From her perspective I had
sunken to a new low but I didn’t care.
I knew Fishy Wishy had risen to a new
high. His happiness was my happiness.

Figuring Fishy Wishy had enough for one

day I went to bed and got plenty of sleep
that night.

43
The next morning we awoke to a surprise. But you have to draw the line somewhere.
Fishy Wishy had built a bubble nest in his After all, it’s just a fish.
Penthouse suite! Quickly referring to what
was left of page 23, I read that when
Betta fish are ready to mate, they create
little bubble nests that float on the sur-
face. I was thrilled. Fishy Wishy wanted a
family of his own. You can be certain you
have a happy, comfortable Betta when he
makes his first nest. I felt I had accom-
plished all of my goals.

Even my wife was excited about Fishy

Wishy’s paternal urges. “Honey, can we
get a real female Betta for Fishy Wishy?”,
she asked.

45
 Bulging Betty
“Dear Sir, It is with great pleasure that I may
inform you of the S.O.B. Betta Abuse Council's
decision to review your file. The Council found
there was no wrongdoing in the Fishy Wishy case.
The Council was pleased to note that the entire
Wishy Family (all 32 of them) are in good health
and are well cared for. The newly elected Board
of Directors of S.O.B. will certainly clear
your file and put this matter behind all of us.

I trust you and your wife are well.

Sincerely
Mr. F. Wishy
President, S.O.B.
Save Our Bettas Foundation

P.S. I heard a rumor that the S.O.B.S. Tribunal

investigator is having a hard time finding co-
operative witnesses. I think his trail may have
gone ‘cold’.”
47
Rotting Ruby Val
No fish were harmed during the production of
this book (at least not intentionally). Plenty of
brine shrimp were. Most parts of this book are
true, at least as far as Paul can remember,
which often isn’t very far.

Paul lives near Vancouver with his wife, daughter

and…a cat. No fish. They were too emotionally
draining.

© 2007
Copyright Paul Toth, Allan Wong
Email: fishywishy@telus.net
How do you entertain a Betta Fish when
he lives in a little bowl with little elbow
room? Read “How To Entertain Your
Betta Fish” and discover fun ways to
turn your Siamese fighting fish into a
proud warrior.

For hard copies of this book, please visit:

www3.telus.net/starthere/bettabook