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Bystanders
When bullying occurs in early childhood settings, all the children watching become bystanders to bullying.
Bystanders learn about bullying from observing the behaviors of the children who bully and the children who
are victims. Often bullying is intentionally displayed in front of others to get their attention and solicit their
support.
Who’s at risk?
Depending on the circumstances, all children have the potential to be bystanders who contribute to bullying.
Young children who observe an incident of bullying simply may not know what to do to help, or they may do
nothing out of fear that they will be the next victim. In addition, some children may have become desensitized
to bullying, based on their experiences with violent media and their home environment. They may passively
accept bullying, or they may think it is none of their business.
Children who do nothing to help the victim may feel bad or guilty about it later. Bystanders who laugh or join
in the bullying are at risk for becoming bullies themselves.
Learning needs
Children who are bystanders need to understand that they have the power to stop the bullying. They need help
in developing and practicing the problem-solving and assertiveness skills they need to stand up for their peers
and feel safe. Children who learn how to solve problems constructively will know how to help their peers
without responding aggressively. (See 10. Problem-Solving Activities.) Once children have learned how to
help stop bullying, they will feel proud of themselves for helping another child in need.
Intervention
Children who watch bullying happen may think that bullying is an acceptable behavior and a good way of
getting what they want. This is especially true if adults or other children don’t express disapproval or step in to
stop the bullying. Sometimes the best way to prevent bullying or to intervene when it occurs is to involve the
bystanders—all the children who are not directly involved in bullying but who are available to help stop it.
(See 12. Teachable Moments.)
Early childhood educators need to be prepared to identify and help all three players in a bullying situation—the
bully, the victim, and the bystanders. The behaviors underlying each role can be modified through prevention,
immediate intervention, and continued support. (See 5. Take Charge.) In addition, all children need to develop
the social skills necessary to prevent and respond to bullying. Repeated bullying occurs only in early childhood
settings that tolerate bullying behaviors and fail to teach social skills:
Children who bully need to learn to stop bullying, engage in more cooperative behaviors, and develop
empathy and social problem-solving skills.
Children who are targets of bullying need to learn how to respond to bullying with assertiveness, rather
than by submitting or counter-attacking.
Bystanders need to learn that they have the power to stop bullying and how to use problem-solving
strategies to help prevent and stop bullying.