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‘It started when I barked once when

I was licking his boots!’: a descriptive
phenomenological study of the
everyday experience of BDSM
a a a
Emma L. Turley , Nigel King & Trevor Butt
a
Department of Behavioural Sciences , University of
Huddersfield , Queensgate, Huddersfield, UK
Published online: 18 Feb 2011.

To cite this article: Emma L. Turley , Nigel King & Trevor Butt (2011) ‘It started when I barked once
when I was licking his boots!’: a descriptive phenomenological study of the everyday experience of
BDSM, Psychology & Sexuality, 2:2, 123-136, DOI: 10.1080/19419899.2010.528018

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 Psychology & Sexuality
Vol. 2, No. 2, May 2011, 123–136

‘It started when I barked once when I was licking his boots!’: a
descriptive phenomenological study of the everyday experience of
BDSM
Emma L. Turley*, Nigel King and Trevor Butt

Department of Behavioural Sciences, University of Huddersfield, Queensgate, Huddersfield, UK

(Received 22 September 2010; final version received 27 September 2010)

Downloaded by [University of Arizona] at 02:29 04 February 2015

Traditionally, psychologists have researched bondage and discipline, dominance and

submission, and sadism and masochism (BDSM) and its participants from an external
perspective, seeing it as pathology. However, there is now a growing body of research
aiming to challenge this perspective. This article examines some of the ways BDSM has
been reconceptualised by researchers who reject the pathological focus, distinguishing
between transgressive and coercive sexualities. We focus on the lived experience of
BDSM participation to further illuminate these sexual practices. A descriptive phe-
nomenological analysis of four interview transcripts was employed, with the purpose of
producing a general structural experience of BDSM participation, which aims to fur-
ther understanding of this complex phenomenon. The essential structures of the BDSM
experience are discussed in terms of authentic fantasy, rejection of social norms and
non-sexual positive outcomes.
Keywords: BDSM; descriptive phenomenology; interviews; sexual practice; Giorgi

Introduction
According to Moser (1988), there is no universally accepted definition of BDSM, although
these activities usually involve an exchange of power and/or the application of pain or
otherwise intense sensations within a sexual context (Barker, Iantaffi, & Gupta, 2007b).
The acronym BDSM illustrates the assorted consensual activities involved in the experi-
ence of participating in BDSM: bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission
(D/s) and sadism and masochism (SM). Practitioners and authors often use the abbrevia-
tion SM or S/M to describe and discuss the same sexual practices and activities, however,
the term BDSM is more commonly used and preferred amongst practitioners (Barker et al.,
2007b), and is the term we will use throughout this article. BDSM-related preferences are
highly individual and subjective, and it should not be assumed that ‘one size fits all’, as
inclinations vary from person to person (Barker et al., 2007b).
There has been increased academic focus on BDSM and those who engage in its prac-
tice over the past three decades. The existing literature examines aspects of BDSM from
varying academic positions, however, we suggest that research focusing on the everyday

∗
Corresponding author. Email: e.l.turley@hud.ac.uk

ISSN 1941-9899 print/ISSN 1941-9902 online

© 2011 Taylor & Francis
DOI: 10.1080/19419899.2010.528018
http://www.informaworld.com
 124 E.L. Turley et al.

lived experience of BDSM participation will furthermore illuminate this topic. In this arti-
cle we argue that it is necessary to explore the lived experience of BDSM practitioners, and
propose using a descriptive phenomenological approach to understand this complex phe-
nomenon. Taylor and Ussher (2001) point out that ‘almost without exception, researchers
and clinicians have ignored the individual experiences of those who engage in SM’
(p. 295). Barker, Gupta, and Iantaffi (2007a) also recognised the lack of exploration into
the everyday experiences of BDSM. We examine how existing research has dealt with
the phenomenon of BDSM, and then present our own findings regarding the lived experi-
ence of participating in BDSM, which aims to compliment the existing non-pathologising
literature. BDSM has been predominantly construed as sexual deviance within psychol-
ogy, however more recently, research has examined BDSM and its participants from less
pathologising perspectives.
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BDSM as pathology
According to Barker et al. (2007a), BDSM is one of the most demonised forms of consen-
sual sexuality. Sexual sadism and sexual masochism are still classified as ‘paraphilias’, a
set of psychiatric disorders within the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American
Psychiatric Association (DSM-IV) (American Psychiatric Association, 1994), in need of
treatment and cure (Langdridge & Barker, 2007). Abramson and Pinkerton (2002) note
there is a duality surrounding sexuality, the aspect of sex for procreation and the aspect of
sex for pleasure. They argue that there has always been tension between the procreative and
pleasurable aspects of sex, and the failure to resolve this conflict has resulted in patholo-
gising certain types of sexual enjoyment. Victorian sexologist Krafft-Ebing’s work in his
book, Psychopathia Sexualis, published in 1886, constructed various sexual behaviour,
including sadomasochism, as pathological, and this legacy remains the basis for the con-
tinued perception of consensual BDSM as a pathology (Beckmann, 2001). Spinelli (2006)
contends that Victorian assumptions and biases about sex continue to dominate Western
views on sexuality, including those acts considered to be part of ‘normal’ sexual rela-
tions and acts considered to be ‘perverted’. Spinelli adds that these opinions were based
on dubious biological theories, which should be challenged. According to Weeks (1985),
modern sexology remains preoccupied with sexual normativity where the genitals and the
orgasm are centrally important, and sexual behaviour is commonly aligned with presumed
natural conditions. Kleinplatz and Moser (2005) concur with Weeks, arguing that Western
clinicians consider normative sexuality as monogamous, procreation-oriented, young and
able-bodied.
Unfortunately, research examining criminal sexual behaviour, such as rape and sexually
oriented murder contribute to the notion that consensual BDSM is pathological, as fre-
quently the theorists do not make clear distinctions between consensual sexual sadism and
masochism, and offenders who engage in non-consensual sexual sadism. The extract below
is taken from ‘The relationship between serial sexual murder and autoerotic asphyxiation’.

The paraphilias are sexual disorders involving recurrent, deviant fantasies, urges and behaviors
[sic]. They are considered deviant according to societal norms, falling at the out limits of the
sexual behavior [sic] continuum . . . The findings from this study support the supposition that
crime scene behaviors [sic] often reflect the paraphilic disturbances in those who commit serial
sexual homicides. (Myers et al., 2008, p. 187)

Despite the dominant discourses placing BDSM firmly within the realm of pathology, vari-
ous researches have concluded that BDSM practitioners are no more dangerous than those
 Psychology & Sexuality 125

who do not participate in BDSM. Dietz (1990; cited by Denman, 2004) distinguishes crimi-
nal sadists from BDSM practitioners by a number of criteria. Criminal sexual sadists secure
unwilling, non-consenting participants who force sexual acts on their victims and are emo-
tionally detached, Dietz argues that BDSM practitioners display none of these elements,
and are not psychologically abnormal, a claim supported by findings from various studies
(Cross & Matheson, 2006; Kleinplatz & Moser, 2005; Moser, 2001). Denman (2004) dis-
tinguishes between transgressive and coercive sex, noting that transgressive sex is sexual
behaviour that attracts social disapproval or legal sanction, whereas coercive sex involves
activities in which one party has not consented. Denman thus concludes there is no evi-
dence to support a connection between transgressive sex and pathology. There is a growing
body of research aiming to challenge this connection of BDSM and pathology, and explore
BDSM practices and communities in a non-pathologising way (Langdridge & Barker,
2007).
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Reconceptualising BDSM
Research investigating BDSM non-pathologically has been conducted from various the-
oretical and methodological perspectives. We present an overview of some of these
perspectives, examining the early voices in BDSM research and more recent literature,
which understands the problematic nature of treating BDSM as pathological and instead
conceptualises the phenomenon in different ways.

Early voices
Stoller’s (1975) work examining BDSM-related fantasy and the erotic imagination pro-
vided a rich and empathic account aimed at understanding those who choose to participate,
even recognising the concept of ‘consensual’ BDSM (Stoller, 1991). Despite drawing on
the vocabulary of psychoanalysis, frequently referring to ‘perversion’, Stoller did not con-
sider perversion in terms of a description of behaviour. Butt (2005) re-examined Stoller’s
(1975) research from a phenomenological perspective and argues that it attempts to make
sense of the erotic imagination in a way that does not pathologize BDSM. Stoller argued
that perversion is ubiquitous; that more or less every person and every erotic act can be
‘perverse’. Butt (2005) draws on the phenomenology of Merleau-Ponty to understand
this point and argues that the ambiguity of the lived world enables individuals to expe-
rience a host of opposing emotions together, as is often experienced during BDSM, for
example, feelings of humiliation and embarrassment coupled with sexual excitement and
anticipation. Stoller’s (1975) work is certainly ambiguous, his persistence in the use of
psychoanalytic discourse and the language of pathology appears contradictory to his sym-
pathetic portrayal of BDSM enthusiasts. However, this early research is useful in that it
exposed the workings of the erotic imagination, illustrating the ubiquitous nature of what
Stoller (1975) referred to as perversion (Butt, 2005).
Rubin (1984) argued in favour of a theory of sex which aimed to ‘identify, describe,
explain and denounce erotic injustice and sexual oppression’ (p. 275). According to Rubin,
however, particular aspects of Western thought restrain the development of such a the-
ory, and as a result perpetuate commonly held assumptions about normative sex. She
argues that in Western cultures, there is a hierarchy of sexual value which ranks and cat-
egorises sex as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, the more elevated the position, the more normative the
sexual behaviour. ‘Good’ sexuality that is highly ranked should be marital, heterosexual,
monogamous, reproductive and non-commercial. Ranked low on the hierarchy of sexual
 126 E.L. Turley et al.

values are behaviours which are unmarried, homosexual, non-procreative, commercial or

involving the use of pornography, sex toys and unusual roles. BDSM falls well out of
Rubin’s ‘charmed circle’ of sexual behaviours and languishes very near the bottom of the
hierarchy, in the ‘outer limits’. Rubin contends that there is a need for an anthropological
understanding of different sexual cultures to move towards an inclusive sexual theory.

Sexual stories
Plummer (1995) argues that at the dawn of the twenty-first century, sex has become the Big
Story.

We have become the sexual story tellers in a sexual story telling society. (Plummer, 1995,
p. 5)
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Langdridge and Butt (2004) suggest that stories of BDSM are an example of recent sexual
stories which are now having ‘their time’ to be heard, received and reproduced within the
social world. Langdridge and Butt’s (2004) study used a hermeneutic phenomenological
framework to examine World Wide Web sites concerned with BDSM to investigate the
discursive constructions of sadomasochistic identities. This research examined the mean-
ings of sexual stories of dominance and submission, and concluded that BDSM discourses
illustrate the creation of a sexual story. Although this research took a phenomenological
approach, the research focused on the lived experience of BDSM as portrayed through the
medium of World Wide Web sites, rather than directly from BDSM participators.
A number of studies have attempted to elucidate the characteristics of BDSM engage-
ment, and although these do not focus on the lived experience of BDSM participation, they
are centred on the direct experiences of BDSM practitioners. Alison, Santtila, Sandnabba,
and Nordling (2001) distributed a questionnaire to 162 male and 22 female participants for
the purpose of mapping the relationships between the individual acts engaged in by mem-
bers of the BDSM community. From previous research, four sexual themes were used to
categorise participant’s sexual behaviour: hypermasculinity, which involved acts including
water sports, rimming and fisting; the administration of pain, which included acts such as
electrocution, caning and hot wax; humiliation, which involved verbal humiliation, flag-
ellation and gagging; physical restriction, which included wrestling, bondage and chains.
Results indicated that both heterosexual men and women engaged in significantly more
behaviours related to humiliation region of the map, whereas gay men engaged in signifi-
cantly more behaviours related to the hypermasculinity region. Alison et al. concluded that
the four sexual themes were qualitatively different, and the various facets of BDSM adopt
different functions and meanings for men and women.
Expanding on this research, Nordling, Sandnabba, Santtila, and Alison (2006) exam-
ined the relationship between sexual orientation and sadomasochistic preferences. A
sample of 162 self-identified males, recruited by BDSM organisations, completed a ques-
tionnaire that was specifically formulated for this research study. It was reported that gay
males had their first BDSM experience at an older age that their heterosexual counter-
parts. There were clear differences in the preferences of gay and heterosexual men, with
gay respondents favouring leather, anal sex, dildos, specialist equipment, wrestling and
uniform scenes. Heterosexual proclivities were focused on verbal humiliation, sensory
deprivation, cross-dressing and role playing. Gay men were sadistically orientated with a
preference for masculinisation of their sexual behaviour, whereas heterosexual men adopt
more submissive roles with an emphasis on humiliation and pain. These studies suggest
 Psychology & Sexuality 127

that BDSM can be conceptualised as a set of interrelated behaviours, where individuals

give different prominence and personal meanings to the sexual themes.
Kleinplatz and Moser (2006) examined common manifestations of BDSM-related
interactions while recognising that the fine-grained differences between individual’s desires
can never be categorised completely. The manifestations identified were roles; the adoption
of the dominant or submissive role, with some participants opting to adopt these roles flex-
ibly by switching. The researchers note that the adoption of the same label does not suggest
that practitioners attach identical meanings to their labels however. For example, it is note-
worthy that some participants who use bondage enjoy tight bonds that prohibit movement,
whereas others favour loser restraints that allow struggle, highlighting the variation in per-
sonal meaning of the experience. Discipline is a feature of a BDSM interaction according
to Kleinplatz and Moser, where the notion of being disciplined due to a violation of some
prearranged rule is erotic. Another key manifestation is dominance and submission, and the
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feelings obtained from these roles can be the source of the eroticism. There must be a clear
power dynamic that resonates with the participants present in the experience. Physical pain
is identified as a common manifestation, although this is a specific type of pain within the
BDSM, pain outside of the sexual context is rarely eroticised. Kleinplatz and Moser (2006)
contend that humiliation is the most problematic area of BDSM to accurately describe. The
subjectivity of humiliation is emphasised, as what one individual considers being deeply
humiliating has no effect at all on another. Characterised by sexual arousal towards an inan-
imate object, the researchers argue that fetishes are commonplace in BDSM interactions.
They note that the objects alone do not usually elicit arousal, but do so if they are worn
by a partner. Finally, Kleinplatz and Moser claim that the relationships involved in BDSM
play a key part in the interaction. They contend that there is no typical BDSM relationship,
and that any and all combinations are possible, including alternative relationship styles, a
triangle for example, where all three partners interact sexually.
The complexity of BDSM interactions is highlighted through these categorisations,
and it is recognised that there is a range and intricacy of sexual themes that constitute
varied and subjective experiences (Kleinplatz & Moser, 2006). Weinberg (2006) argues
that the same sexual interests can be expressed in divergent manners, with different mean-
ings for those involved. The variation in personal meaning of the BDSM sexual story is
emphasised, and we would contend that phenomenological exploration of the lived expe-
rience of BDSM participation would furthermore elucidate these essential aspects of the
experience.
Taylor and Ussher (2001) investigated the social construction of sadomasochism by
exploring the experiences of BDSM practitioners through interviews. Taylor and Ussher
highlight the importance of firmly positioning future research within the actual experiences
of those who engage in BDSM, and conclude that currently there is no single psychological
theory to adequately account for BDSM, a conclusion echoed by Chaline’s (2007) sexual
scripting approach to BDSM. Although Taylor and Ussher (2001) employed a social con-
structionist methodology for their exploration of the world of BDSM, we would argue for
an approach that enables us to examine the lived experience of BDSM in real detail and
depth. Descriptive phenomenology is particularly well suited to this goal.

The current study

Descriptive phenomenology, as advocated by Giorgi (1985), takes a Husserlian approach
to understanding lived experience, as this methodology is concerned with the description
rather than the explanation of phenomena (Langdridge, 2007).
 128 E.L. Turley et al.

Husserl (1900/1970), founder of phenomenology, was concerned with how objects

and experiences appeared to human consciousness. Husserl argued that the focus of
science should be on the way the experience of the world presents itself to conscious-
ness; on perceptions of the ‘things in their appearing’, rather than cognition. Crucial to
Husserl’s (1936/1970) transcendental phenomenology was the concept of the epoché, a
process where by presuppositions and prejudgements about the world (known as the natural
attitude) are suspended, for the purpose of remaining open to the various alternative possi-
bilities of experience. Giorgi’s (1985) descriptive phenomenological approach is derived
from Husserl’s transcendental phenomenology, with an assumption that the description
of experience is a valid source of knowledge that contains insight into everyday phe-
nomena (Becker, 1992). Descriptive phenomenology requires that all presuppositions and
prior knowledge relating to the subject under investigation should be bracketed within the
epoché (Giorgi, 2006). Past experience and prejudgement form the natural attitude and
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therefore may serve to bias the researcher, and prevent the phenomenon from becoming
clear. Descriptive phenomenology aims to capture as closely as possible the way in which
the experience takes place (Giorgi & Giorgi, 2008). Giorgi (1985) argues that it is enough
to describe the things in their appearing, and the intention of the analysis is to discern
the underlying essences that form the experiential structure of a phenomenon. According
to Giorgi, ‘essences’ refer to the unchanging elements common to all similar experiences
of the phenomenon under investigation. By generating phenomenological data from self-
identified BDSM practitioners, this study aims to produce a general structural description
of the experience of engaging in consensual BDSM as it appears to the participants.

Participants
A sample was employed with the aim of capturing and describing common experiences
of BDSM across a range of individuals. The sample consisted of four participants who
shared a common experience of engaging in BDSM on a regular basis for the purpose
of sexual pleasure. The small sample size is not considered problematic for a descriptive
phenomenological study; Giorgi (1997) contends that a sample of three participants can
generate a structural description of experience. We would argue that the quality of the data
and the work done to elucidate the detail is the key, rather than the number of participants
employed. The participants were selected from a snowball sample, based on their sexual
orientation, gender and role(s) assumed during BDSM play. With the exception of Joe,
all participants were white, and all participants were British, and Tom and Joe were a
couple at the time of the data collection. See Table 1 for an overview of the participants’
characteristics.
The participants were interviewed for between 60 and 90 minutes, and each inter-
view was audio-recorded. A semi-structured interview schedule, consisting of nine core

Table 1. Table of participant’s characteristics.

Name Gender Sexual orientation Assumed role in BDSM

Tom Male Gay Submissive

Joe Male Gay Dominant
Steven Male Heterosexual Dominant/switch
Annie Female Bisexual Submissive/switch
 Psychology & Sexuality 129

questions was used, allowing for flexibility and the emergence of new concepts and top-
ics, which developed the exploration of various aspects of the experience of BDSM. The
questions were designed to enable the participants to convey specific, concrete experiences
of BDSM participation. For example, the following questions are taken from Tom’s inter-
view: Can you talk me through what happened this time you played?, Thinking about this
experience playing as a puppy, can you describe your thoughts and feelings at the time?,
Can you explain a bit more about the connection you felt with Joe as your master? All
interviews were carried out by the first author.

Analysis
The interview data were transcribed verbatim, and analysed employing Giorgi’s (1985)
descriptive phenomenological method. After reading each interview transcript to gain a
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sense of the overall meaning as a whole, the transcript was divided into what Giorgi refers
to as ‘meaning units’. Meaning units refer to manageable portions of text divided up by
a natural shift in the meaning expressed by the participants. The phenomenological tech-
niques of reflection and imaginative variation were employed as the means to elucidate
the psychological significance of the meaning units, and make explicit the implicit psy-
chological meanings within the text. Reflection refers to the way in which the researchers
reflected on the various possibilities contained within the meaning units, discarding those
that did not withstand robust interrogation for insight into the phenomenon. The pro-
cess of imaginative variation involves varying elements of an experience imaginatively,
in order that the essences of the experience remain. Aspects of the experience are altered,
removed or added to observe whether the variation significantly changes the phenomenon
of BDSM. If the variation does not affect the phenomenon, the varied aspect is not essen-
tial to the experience of BDSM. If, however changing a specific element of the experience
significantly alters the phenomenon, then that element is an essential aspect of the phe-
nomenon. An example of imaginative variation would be substituting rubber clothing for
silk clothing, or harsh, aggressive language for kind, passive language. If the experience is
significantly altered by this substitution, the original element is considered to be essential
to the experience of the phenomenon.
An individual structural description of each experience of BDSM was produced for
each participant, which integrates all the insights from the earlier stages of analysis into
a consistent description of how the experience appears to that particular individual. See
Table 2 for an overview of the process of analysis.
Owing to space constraints, it is impossible to present each of the four individual struc-
tural descriptions. To provide the reader with a sense of these descriptions, we will present
Tom’s structural description in full. The structure of the experiences embodied in each of
the four interviews was written in the form of third person narratives.

Tom’s individual structural description

For Tom, puppy play as part of BDSM is a way for him to engage in a stimulating and
exciting sexual adventure, where his sexual need for thrill and excitement can be fulfilled.
Tom and his partner engaged in puppy play, with Tom assuming the role of the puppy
and Joe assuming the master’s role. Through puppy play Tom is somehow able to shed
his humanness, and therefore experience sex which is liberated from human restrictions
such as embarrassment and self-consciousness. Tom felt relaxed and calm as he rolled
 130 E.L. Turley et al.

Table 2. An overview of the process of descriptive phenomenological analysis.

Stage 1 – Read for a sense of the whole
Stage 2 – Discrimination of meaning
units within a psychological perspective
Stage 3 – Transformation of participant’s
expressions into psychological
language with emphasis on the
phenomenon
Stage 4 – Synthesis of transformed
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Reading the interview transcript allows for a
grasp of the overall sense meaning of the
whole description, within the epoché
Breaking down of the text into manageable
units while maintaining a psychological
criteria relevant to the research aims,
which is in this case the experiences of
BDSM practitioners
The phenomenological techniques of
reflection and imaginative variation are
employed as a means to elucidate the
psychological significance of the meaning
units
Integration of the insights from the earlier

meaning units into a consistent
statement of the individual structure of
experience
Stage 5 – Synthesis of transformed
meaning units into a consistent
statement of the general structure of
experience
stages to identify the key elements of the
phenomenon under investigation
To determine which constituents are
essential across all of the descriptions and
encapsulate the essence of the phenomena
under investigation

over to have his stomach tickled, enjoying the attention from his master. Tom barked in
appreciation, aware that this was his only means of communication; this limited capacity
of self-expression was sexually arousing to Tom as his ability to communicate had been
removed by the adoption of this sexual role. Tom was aroused by the lack of power and
control he had over himself; because he was a puppy he had to behave as he was told to by
Joe and this lack of responsibility had a soothing and calming effect on him. The lack of
social constraints on Tom to behave as a person meant he was able to fetch his lead and beg
to be taken for ‘walkies’. Sitting patiently while Joe carefully attached his collar, tag and
lead led to feelings of sexual excitement and anticipation but also happiness that someone
was taking this level of care over him. Tom was able to receive comforting contact like this
during the play, without being required to respond in a socially acceptable manner. Once
the collar was tightly attached on Tom’s neck, he and Joe went out into the woods to play as
master and dog, Tom was very sexually aroused and the risk of discovery was exciting to
him and enhanced these feelings of eroticism. His role as a puppy felt very natural to Tom,
and he relished his time running naked in the woods with Joe, as this gave him a sense
of emotional release and allowed him to escape into a fantasy world. This role play is not
simply a case of Tom acting like a puppy, Tom felt as though he was the embodiment of a
puppy, as though he had transformed. His thoughts became less complex and were focussed
on more primal matters such as satisfying his sexual desire, his willingness to be debased
and to obey Joe at all costs. During this scene, Tom became completely detached from his
human self and felt as though he was a puppy both physically and psychologically,1 and
this detachment was very sexually satisfying. Tom and Joe had very fulfilling sex outside
in the woods, appealing to Tom’s sense of exhibitionism, and the threat of discovery was a
constant source of arousal. When they returned home, Tom drank some water from his dog
bowl and curled up by the fire, requiring time to emerge from the role and to readapt to his
human self. This had become a highly significant sexual experience and was the ultimate
act of submission on Tom’s part.
 Psychology & Sexuality 131

Developing the general structure of experience

The final stage of analysis is to produce a general structural description of the experience
of the phenomenon. Each of the individual structural descriptions was interrogated in the
manner explained to extract the commonalities of the BDSM experience for the four par-
ticipants: Tom, Joe, Annie and Steven. The general structural description is an attempt
to determine which experiential elements are invariant across all of the descriptions and
encapsulate the essence of the phenomena under investigation, in this case the lived expe-
rience of BDSM participation. We now present the general structural description of the
lived experience of engaging in consensual BDSM.

General structural description of the experience of BDSM participation

The beginning of the BDSM experience is characterised by a building sense of excitement
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and anticipation. Participants strive to leave their own realities behind and immerse
themselves in a shared world of fantasy, where they are able to experience sensory indul-
gence and a realm of sexual possibility. The aim is to suspend ordinary life for a period
and escape into the extraordinary fantasy world, which is limited only by imagination.
Experiencers assume the role of explorers, navigating through the multifaceted sexual
worlds of possibility, and it is engagement with these worlds that endorse the creation
of fantasies. Once encompassed in this co-created fantasy world, individuals are able to
create new and multiple identities through the adoption of sexual roles and participation
in BDSM scenes. This allows the body to become central to the experience, with much
attention focused on eliciting sensation and providing pleasure. The sexual context, though
this does not necessarily mean genital sex, of the BDSM experience enables the impact
of certain emotions and sensations to become transformed. Feelings, both emotional and
physical, that would usually be interpreted negatively are transformed into enjoyable,
sexually arousing feelings within the context of the BDSM experience. The physical sen-
sations elicited as part of BDSM practice provide an embodied contrast to the sensations
experienced during everyday life, therefore participants encounter new and novel ways of
experiencing their bodies. Despite the fact that BDSM fantasy is entwined with acting and
pretence, participants do place importance on the authenticity of the assumed roles and
fantasy content, and each participant is aware of their unspoken responsibility to maintain
the fantasy. The creation of this fantasy world allows also for the creation of individual sets
of rules, which can reject conventional social norms in terms of both the act of sex and inti-
mate relationships. These rules permit the transcendence of social norms and expectations
surrounding sex and gender roles. Constructions of sex, pain, submission and dominance
can be modified and moulded to be more suited to the subculture of which they are part.
This aspect of the experience is also sexually gratifying for BDSM practitioners. Once the
scene has concluded, participants are left with a sense of well-being and happiness and cat-
egorise emotions experienced during a scene as spiritual or cathartic, which despite being
separate from the sexual element, is still considered an important and fulfilling part of the
experience.

Discussion
The elements of fantasy and escapism were prevalent in this analysis, and all participants
reported that these factors were crucial to their BDSM play. For their play to be successful
and satisfying, the pretence of the fantasy should contain elements of believability and
genuineness. Participation in BDSM enables a temporary escape into a world of fantasy,
 132 E.L. Turley et al.

providing there is a sense of authenticity present within the fantasy. This concurs with the
findings of Taylor and Ussher (2001), who identified the discourse of ‘SM as escapism’;
a way to escape from the ordinariness of everyday life. Taylor and Ussher noted that
practitioners do not participate in BDSM as reality avoidance to deny the truth of reality
but rather as a means to enter an alternative reality where, through creativity, anything is
possible.
Yost (2007) examined the sexual fantasies of BDSM practitioners and drawing on
Weinberg (1978, cited in Yost, 2007) argues that participants perceive BDSM to be depen-
dent upon sexual fantasy. The current research supports Yost’s findings and extends this by
introducing the notion of the ‘authentic fantasy’. Yost (2007) also contends that a purpose
of fantasy within BDSM is to create a contextual field that transforms unpleasant acts into
sexually pleasurable activities, therefore the fantasies contextualise the BDSM experience.
Vygotsky’s (1966, cited in Hughes, 1999) play theory can be drawn upon to illustrate the
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function of make-believe and fantasy. Vygotsky proposed that fantasy play is a tool used
for liberating children from situational constraints, and enabling them to explore thoughts
and emotions that would not otherwise be possible. We would argue that this function of
fantasy can be applied to adult practitioners of BDSM, as this play permits entry into a
world of make-believe only constrained by the limits of imagination.
The rejection of social norms was found by this analysis to be an essential structure
of the experience of BDSM. Although the accounts differed slightly between individual
structural descriptions, all participants’ accounts involved understanding BDSM as a con-
scious rejection of the social norms surrounding sex, and creation of a fresh set of sexual
rules. This was not necessarily a rejection of normative, vanilla (non-BDSM) sex, rather a
rejection of the rules attached to sex by society. Rubin’s (1984) sexual hierarchy mentioned
in the introduction illustrates how society ranks and judges sexual practices in terms of
a ‘charmed circle’ and ‘outer limits’, and Weeks (2003) agrees that normality and sexu-
ality are locked into a fixed hierarchy. Normative, vanilla sex was described in terms of
being a ‘lesser’ experience than its BDSM counterpart, less exciting, less stimulating and
less enjoyable. This differs from the findings of Taylor and Ussher (2001), who presented
the discourse of ‘SM as dissidence’ that positioned normative, vanilla sex as patriarchal
heterosexuality. Instead of a rejection of this type of sex, the current research supports
Langdridge and Butt’s (2004) concept of BDSM ‘extending the norm’. Participants were
rejecting the social norms surrounding sex, rather than the act of normative sex, and they
participated in BDSM to produce opportunities for the extension of norms and the creation
of new sexual rules.
Another essential structure of the experience of participating in BDSM was identi-
fied as other non-sexual positive outcomes arising from participation. Although the sexual
experience was the primary positive outcome, there were also other, non-sexual, positive
outcomes arising from BDSM participation. Participants described being able to explore
themselves through BDSM, and reported spiritual, cathartic or therapeutic benefits. This is
in line with Taylor and Ussher’s (2001) discourse of ‘SM as transcendence’, where BDSM
is referred to as a spiritual and mystical experience. Beckmann (2001) also reported that
BDSM can function as a spiritual practice that allows for the occurrence of transcendental
experiences, Hearn and Burr (2008) concur, drawing parallels between religious uses of
pain and discipline that aims to induce a state of ecstasy. Barker et al. (2007a) argue that
BDSM practitioners perceive their play as empowering, enabling them to cope with issues
such as abuse, stress or pain. Barker et al. (2007a) also suggest BDSM can be used as a safe
space from which to explore personal issues, traditionally discussed through psychotherapy
and counselling, although advise caution when considering ‘therapeutic BDSM’. Easton
 Psychology & Sexuality 133

(2007) advocates the use of BDSM play to explore one’s self and to confront upsetting
or anger-inducing issues, and describes how BDSM can serve as a metaphoric ‘healing
injection’. The participants in this study described how engagement in BDSM provided
other beneficial outcomes along with the sexual thrill and sexual gratification, facilitating
self-discovery and relaxation.
The final experiential structure to be discussed in this article surrounds embodiment.
BDSM participation allows participants to experience their bodies and the bodies of their
partners in new and unusual manners. According to Beckmann (2001) BDSM introduces
the discovery of new identities, dimensions and potentials of ‘lived-bodies’, exploration
not possible through normative, vanilla sex. We would argue, through the use of fetish
clothing, bondage and roles, the body-subject (Merleau-Ponty, 1962) is able to experience
the life world differently, and explore the limits and potentials of the lived-body, presenting
BDSM participants with myriad sexual opportunities.
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A final noteworthy point of discussion is a consideration of what was absent from the
findings: the absence of a description of what was specifically sexual or erotic regarding
BDSM participation. Participants discussed the sexual aspect in terms of an enjoyable and
gratifying experience, however, there was a lack of input regarding the sexual triggers and
erotic constituents of BDSM. Those aspects of BDSM play that are viscerally sexual are
missing in this general structure of the experience of BDSM participation, which poses the
questions ‘why are they missing?’ and ‘where is the eroticism to be found in BDSM?’ A
possible answer to the former question may lie in the difficulty participants displayed when
trying to articulate their thoughts. All of the participants at some point during the interview
grappled with expressing their thoughts verbally in clear and appropriate language. Jackson
(2003) notes there is a lack of language of eroticism and a difficulty arises from this;
representative lexicon of sexual pleasure is constrained. There are linguistic absences when
discussing sexual desires, according to Jackson (2003) and Frye (1990) language relates to
sexual acts rather than to feelings, sensations and emotions. Further research to address the
latter question is necessary to tease out the erotic meaning of BDSM. We propose the use of
the phenomenological technique of imaginative variation to elucidate the eroticism within
the stories of BDSM participation, therefore, by varying certain elements of an account it
should be possible to reveal the erotic constituents of each experience.
We do not perceive the relatively small sample size in the current study to be prob-
lematic as Giorgi (1997) recommends the inclusion of three or more participants to
successfully understand and describe the structure of an experience, thus we consider four
participants to be conducive to the research. Idhe (1986) notes the issue of adequacy, which
is relevant to this argument. Idhe claims that achieving a goal of a ‘complete’ account of
a phenomenon is unobtainable, however, more variation presented within a description
leads to a more adequate description of a phenomenon. The aim of this phenomenological
research is not be representative of the general BDSM population, but to examine the lived
experiences of a small number of BDSM practitioners. We are aware however that the sam-
ple has limited variation by gender and by ethnicity; there was a single female participant
and only one participant was of mixed race whereas the other three were white. Beckmann
(2001) notes that when researching a sensitive topic within the private realm of sexuality,
particularly criminalised sexuality, data becomes more problematic to collect.

Conclusions
This article has aimed to illustrate that a focused analysis of the lived experience of
engaging in BDSM complements the current literature on this topic, and that the production
 134 E.L. Turley et al.

of a general structure of the experience of BDSM participation furthermore illuminates this

complex topic. Our analysis of the experiences of four BDSM practitioners has produced a
general structural description of the experience of participating in BDSM. Authentic fan-
tasy and escapism provide practitioners a temporary escape from the complexities of the
human condition while allowing exploration of different emotional and sexual possibilities,
the possibility to exist in a limitless world. There is conscious rejection of the sexual norms
imposed by society, replaced by self-created, transgressive sexual rules. Assumptions about
sex, pain, gender roles, dominance and submission can be reconstructed, transformed and
celebrated with sexual openness. BDSM practitioners can experience other, non-sexual
positive outcomes of their play, including self-exploration and a sense of well-being,
and strengthened relationships and the opportunity to experience bodies in different and
exciting ways. We would hope that this research contributes to the ever-growing body of
literature that investigates and reports BDSM in non-pathologizing ways, and will serve to
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challenge the perceived link between BDSM and psychopathology, along with providing a
compelling insight into the lived experience of this complex phenomenon.

Note
1. Tom’s experience could also overrap with furryism. During furry sex individuals engage in sex-
ual interactions wearing animal costumes or components of animal costumes (Sisson, 2007). For
some practitioners there is overlap with BDSM, for others there is not.

Notes on contributors
Emma Turley is a full-time Ph.D. student in the Centre for Applied Psychological Research at the
University of Huddersfield, and part-time lecturer in psychology. Her research interests include sexu-
alities and erotic minorities, the psychology of the media and popular culture, paranormal psychology
and phenomenological research methods.
Nigel King is Professor in applied psychology at the University of Huddersfield, and Director of
the Centre for Applied Psychological Research there. He has a strong interest in phenomenological
psychology and in qualitative methods in psychology more generally. Substantive interests include
professional roles and identities in health and social care, the experience of chronic illness and
paranormal experiences.
Trevor Butt is Emeritus Reader in Psychology at the University of Huddersfield. His main interest
is in personal construct theory, and he has written extensively on its relationship with phenomenol-
ogy. He is the author of George Kelly and the Psychology of Personal Constructs (Palgrave 2008),
Understanding People (Palgrave 2004) and, with Vivien Burr, Invitation to Personal Construct
Psychology (Wiley 2004).

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