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A6 NEWS NATIONAL POST, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2007

HOW HAS THE EXPLOSION OF CHOICE FOR WOMEN AFFECTED YOU AND HOW HAS IT CHANGED IN YOUR LIFETIME?
Sarah Forbes-Roberts, co-owner of sex store Come As You sexual choices for all. In the 10 years since we’ve opened the
Talking openly Are: “Like many of my friends in their thirties, I grew up in store I’ve seen huge changes in women’s comfort around sex-

about sexuality a feminist household where I was told I could be whoever


I wanted to be. Yet there are still inequalities that limit our
uality. Women are so much more comfortable talking openly
about sex. This comfort around sexuality extends far beyond

no longer taboo choices as women. My career choice was to own a sex-posi-


tive, co-operative sex store that works hard to provide healthy
sex — you see it in women who are happy, confident and as-
sertive.”

THE WOMAN ISSUE


#
A GUIDE TO A WOMAN’S SEXUAL RESPONSE
Women initiate or agree to sex for a variety of reasons. Some spontaneously
feel the urge to have sex, but a lack of that initial urge is also normal …

1 2 3 4 5 6
Sheis willing Sheis Sheprocesses this Sheis Sheis Orgasmor
toget in sexually stimulation(mentally sexually physically satisfaction
themood. stimulated. andphysically). excited. aroused. without orgasm
*Afterward, the womanis motivated toget into themoodagainby her sexually satisfyingexperienceas wellas by non-sexual rewards likeemotionalintimacy.
INSPIRED BY THE FEMALE SEX RESPONSE CYCLE, DR. ROSEMARY BASSON’S 2001 DIAGRAM, PUBLISHED IN THE AMERICAN COLLEGE OF OBSTETRICIANS AND GYNECOLOGISTS.

Is a low sex drive normal, or are women


really hope he doesn’t want to have sex
SEX

tonight.’ ”
Ms. Jansen, now a 41-year-old sex-

‘broken in the hot-and-wet department’?


uality educator and therapist who
founded the Toronto sex shop Good For
Her, says she still does not have a high
libido but now considers that normal.
only heated debate: Are we over-med- was a perversion of gender equality. “We’re pathologizing women’s ex-
BY MELISSA LEONG icalizing the problem? Is low libido In some strange commodified world, periences because they don’t match
caused by hormonal imbalances, or is the idea of sexual equality had become men’s,” she said.
In a small, downtown Toronto sex store, it all just in a woman’s head? Is female product equality.” Researchers have offered various
two dozen women huddle together be- sexual dysfunction even real? The prevailing, although somewhat theories to explain why women may
tween shelves of videos and vibrators to The term did not even exist a dec- disputed, statistics suggest that as be more “turned off ” than men. One
learn the secret of the orgasm. In order ade ago. The Diagnostic and Statistical many as 43% of women aged 18 to 59 is that sexual inhibition in women is a
to climax, the speaker at the workshop Manual of Mental Disorders describes suffer from some sort of sexual dys- protective mechanism evolved to dis-
tells us, we must relax, we must stop it as an inability to get aroused, painful function. But there are experts who say courage women from having children
thinking about our grocery lists. intercourse, orgasmic disorder or the that large percentages of women re- when conditions for motherhood are
That is not what I want to hear. absence of desire or urges prior to sex- port having no sexual urges, and these not favourable; for example, when a
Nor is it helpful to my friend, whose ual activity. women also claim to be satisfied. partner is unsupportive or the woman
expectations are already low after re- So controversial is the diagnosis “You might be like the women in Sex has emotional problems.
cently asking her doctor about vaginal — and its myriad suggested treatments and the City, but the evidence is very There is even a movement to re-
dryness and being told: “Watch some — that the British Medical Journal clear that that is less common,” said brand a woman’s sometimes limited
porn.” If only the solutions for sexually published an article calling female sex- Rosemary Basson, a physician and dir- sexual appetite as the norm, with new
frustrated women were that simple. Or ual dysfunction the “freshest, clearest ector of sexual medicine at the Univer- books such as I’d Rather Eat Chocolate:
as simple as popping a pill. example” of a “corporate-sponsored sity of British Columbia. “What is more Learning to Love My Low Libido.
Pfizer began its quest for the “pink creation of a disease.” common is having a flexible, adaptable Still, the search for a “cure” con-
pill,” the female Viagra, in 1996. But Lenore Tiefer is among those who desire that is higher earlier in a rela- tinues. Dr. Thuy-Tien Dam, clinical dir-
after eight years of research and stud- are wary. A clinical associate professor tionship when everything is new, and ector of prevention studies at the Uni-
ies involving about 3,000 women, the of psychiatry at the New York Univer- is less spontaneous as the relationship versity of California, San Diego, says a
drug company’s researchers were flum- sity School of Medicine, she spearhead- continues, but still remains trigger- flagging sex drive may be a “treatable
moxed. The scientists cited a discon- ed a campaign to reject the medical able.” If more women knew this, they condition, not just a personal problem.”
nect between a woman’s brain and her framework of female sexual dysfunc- might be less distressed, she added. “We assume it’s normal because we
genitals that does not exist in men; a tion, arguing that the belief that a Unable to orgasm and unmotivated don’t know how to treat it and we don’t
woman’s arousal, unlike that of a man’s, woman is “broken in the hot-and-wet to have sex, Carlyle Jansen suffered know what’s going on … Just like with
is triggered by a complex network of department” will lead to a dependence sexual anxiety in her twenties.“I had depression. Before they said, ‘It’s just in
emotional, intellectual and relation- on drugs and wrongly diminishes the so many dating experiences in my your heads, there’s nothing wrong with
ship-based factors. role of emotions in sex. late teens and early twenties where I you.’ But later on, we found out that there
And so, while Viagra became the “After Viagra was approved, journal- avoided sex or I’d drink to numb every- were imbalances with serotonin levels.”
wonder drug for men, there is still no ists started writing, ‘Where is the Viag- thing,” she said. “I’d curl up in bed, face André Guay, a clinical assistant pro-
equivalent for women. Instead, there is ra for women?’ ” said Dr. Tiefer. “This the other way and lie there thinking, ‘I fessor of medicine in endocrinology at
Harvard Medical School, said research
shows that women who complain of

NATIONAL BESTSELLER
decreased drive may have testosterone
deficiency, and there has been some
success in treating menopausal, hyster-
ectomized women with androgens or
Pulitzer Prize-winning photojournalist Paul Watson male sex hormones.
takes us to the front lines of Somalia, Rwanda, Kosovo, But even that breakthrough cannot
address one of the root causes of low
Iraq and Afghanistan — as only he has seen them sexual desire: relationship problems.
“I treated a woman for six months
with androgens. She was definitely de-
“A breathtakingly compelling and candid ficient,” Dr. Guay said. “Finally, after I
had treated her for six months and she
account of Watson’s career as one of was not better, I went over the differ-
ential again. When we started [talking
Canada’s premier foreign correspondents.” about] relationship problems, she said,
‘You know,’ with a tear in her eye, ‘my
– Montreal Gazette husband really is a jerk.’ ”

“Gripping and courageous… This book is a thriller.” BY THE


—Ottawa Citizen NUMBERS

“He paints a pretty vivid 6.9 A woman’s average num-


ber of sexual partners.
picture of the violence,
fear, grief and despair that
Your new 29 Percentage of women
worldwide who want sex

best friends.
more often.
is generated under wartime
circumstances. . . . Watson
is a natural storyteller, Rapture . Found at Birks. 41 Percentage of women who
told a date they loved them
because they hoped it would lead
to sex, compared with 55% of men.
and he has one hell of From the Birks Blue® collection with
signature sapphire. Diamond solitaire
a story to tell.”
— Globe and Mail
pendant, from $1,700; line bracelet,
from $4,900; earrings, from $2,700;
71 Percentage of women who
have bought sexy lingerie
or sex toys because they thought it
right-hand ring, $3,600.
would lead to sex.
“Beautifully written
and pitilessly honest. . . . 22 Percentage of women who
have had a cyber-affair
(a sexually explicit conversation
[it] will haunt readers.” or video or photo exchange) with
someone other than their significant
– Maclean’s
other, compared with 25% of men.
Shop with us online or at your favourite
Birks location. Visit www.birks.com or call Harlequin Romance Report 2007
1.800.682.2622.
McClelland & Stewart Read an excerpt at www.McClelland.com

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