By Lydia Wente

Lifestyle Coach
www.LydiaWente.com

Videos & Text Edited by

Page 1
Kris Wente
I was a mother, wife, successful entrepreneur, and a symbol of health. Also, I
was unable to stop secretly chugging chicken drippings right from the
roasting pan.

One of these things was not like the other. For years this plagued me,
especially because I had a career in coaching people to better health. How
could I, of all people, wake up in the morning terrified because I didn’t know
if I was going to binge eat until the point of pain that day? I had so much
under control. I was successful in so many other ways, but the most basic of
daily tasks- eating- haunted my life.

This is my guide to how I stopped binge eating in one day. The same
principles that worked this miracle in my life are the same ones that apply to
any behavior in our life that we want to do, but aren’t doing.

If you beat yourself up, saying:

“I know what to do, but for some reason I’m not doing it”
This guide is for you.

Hi, my name is Lydia Wente. I believe that people should be able to do what
they want. After personally coaching over 500 clients and leading a team of
coaches that served over 8,000 clients, I am ready to share some principles
that will unlock your ability to DO the things, create the habits, and enjoy the
lifestyle that you want.

First insight:

We don’t do what we know. We do what we’ve done.

Next time you get into an argument, this will probably be obvious. Even if
you’ve recently read a self-self help book on communication, habits die hard.
When we are actually facing an important situation, we do what we’re used to,
as opposed to what we said we wanted to do.

We show up how we are, not how we want to be. Repetition creates neural
pathways in our brain for good or for ill.

Page 2
Through repeatedly doing something, we create a brain that
will fight to keep doing it that same way.
These are the knee-jerk, autopilot behaviors that make up our life. We
especially depend on those existing connections when emotions are high.

This is how our brain protects us; it keeps us doing things like it always has
before. Your brain sees trying something as a risky unknown. To a part of our
brain, unknown is dangerous, which is bad.

This can be quite frustrating. We may look back on our choices saying, “Why
did I do that? Why did I say that? I know better”. That is only partially true. A
part of your brain knows better and a part of your brain doesn’t.

The key is to shift your decisions to the part of the brain that
serves you.

The Case for Doing Stuff

We learn through experience, which comes from doing stuff. No matter how
many blogs we have read, E-books we’ve downloaded, seminars we’ve
attended, etc. what we actually learn comes from personal experience.

Having children is a great example. No matter how many parenting books you
devoured, or how much babysitting for which you’ve enlisted, nothing
prepares you for real kids in your real life like actually having a kid. You learn
more from a day of real-life parenting than a stack of books on the subject.

This is the direct approach. The non-therapy approach.

This is my case for actually doing stuff.

We will get so much further by taking action,

even if it’s imperfect, than waiting to act until we know it all. The only way we
do it better, is to DO it again.

Page 3
Not to say gathering information is useless. On the contrary, I love digesting
books, personal development workshops and hearing people's experiences.

0000000000000000
0000000000000000
0000000000000000
0000000000000000
Information gives us a great framework for where to start. It often gives us
some confidence in how to be successful. However, we can either stockpile
information it at the beginning of path, or we can pick it up along the path as
we move forward. Doing the latter gives us access to much higher quality
information and gets us down the path we wanted to take anyway. Do stuff.

My Story

00000000000000000
00000000000000000
00000000000000000
00000000000000000
Page 4
When I first started my “health journey” I was exhausted every day. I felt
done before the day began. Unless I had a nap, there was nothing else to give
that day. I asked,

“Is this how life is going to be?”

We were living in Brooklyn, NY. My husband worked 70 hour weeks, we were
raising our baby girl, and I was gaining weight. The number on the scale was
higher than ever and climbing. I felt a strong need for a change. The direction
I was going was not the life I wanted to live. As a family, we chose to change.

So we did. We started an incredible health program. In the first week I felt like
I got my life back. My eating was sucking the energy from my life, but now I
had steady energy all day. Impossible! The weight started melting off. In a
short time lost we 55 pounds together.

I was working with a coach and I saw how

essential the support was. I had this feeling that

"Everyone needs to know about this!"

So I asked my coach, "How do I be you?" She
talked about being mission-driven, working on
myself, and telling everyone. I thought if I could
help others get healthy too it would reinforce
my own healthy habits. I was excited about
having a career where I could work from home
on my own schedule.

So I started. It grew. fast. I jumped into the training and had my first group of
clients within the first few weeks. After about 8 months my husband told me I
was making making more than he was!

That rocked our world. He decided to quit his job and we moved across the
country to be closer to family.

We were calling the shots in our life and it was incredible.

My husband was living his life-long dream of acting and we spent our days
together as a family as I built a career that I was ecstatic about.

Page 5
That’s when things started falling apart. It's interesting what happens when
you take yourself out of the daily grind. You have time to think. You have time
to get to know who you really are and what you really believe.

Our marriage started unraveling. We were dealing with seemingly

insurmountable issues.

A long string of days started that were full of sadness,

conflict and confusion.
I instinctively asked myself, “What can I control?” With the foundation of my
world falling apart, I started grasping for things within reach. I thought of it
as a drive for progress. I would have called it healthy at the time. I latched
onto 3 things.

1) Building my business. I would spend the morning in tears, and then pick
myself up in the afternoon and make calls. I remember one day on a
call when I talked to a client and then muted the phone when they
talked so I could continue to cry, only to un-mute when it was my turn
to cheerfully respond.
2) What I ate. I ate "healthier and healthier" and very little.
3) My exercise. I was pushing myself harder all the time.

It worked, in a way. My business grew which was a wonderful light in my life. I

enjoyed what I did and it was a good escape for me. My body fat percentage
was in the low teens.

It still didn't feel like enough. So I kept

going, obsessed with continual
progress. That’s when the binging
began. It was so weird. I felt possessed.
I had so much control over everything,
I cared so much about what I put into
my body, and then I would spin out of
control. It started small like a second
helping, and then a third, and then

Page 6
anything I could eat as fast as I could. I felt scared and disturbed.

I would eat until it was painful and I couldn't eat anymore.

The next day I would be horrified. I would work out extra hard & be extra
diligent with what I ate. Then I would binge again, regain control, and binge
again.

One day, when pushing myself especially hard at the gym, I collapsed. I just
lost all energy. I couldn't move or walk and broke out in a cold sweat. One of
the fitness instructors found me and was kind enough to drive me home.

I was pregnant. In the above picture I was actually already pregnant. Another
change? My binging got worse. My life got more complex. It was a difficult
pregnancy. I was terribly sick daily.

One morning I wasn't just sick, I was in

pain. I laid on the couch breathing slowly
and trying to let the pain subside.

Then I heard screaming. A few moments

later, I realized it was me. Upon arriving to
the hospital, I had already lost a liter of
blood to internal bleeding in my abdomen.
I had an ectopic pregnancy that had
ruptured. I wasn't pregnant any more.

After the surgery I couldn't walk. I couldn't

restrict my calories. I couldn't work out.

And I didn't have control anymore.

I worked on healing, but the binging continued. I was determined to have a
comeback.

I started with walking, I focused on eating healthily when I wasn't binging,

and I intensified my exercise. Life seemed to get better and better. My body

Page 7
 healed, our marriage healed, and I had
formed some amazing friendships with my
clients and coaches I mentored.

We had amazing adventures. We went on

trips with friends, all expense paid, as a
reward for the work we had done. One of
the trips was to an exquisite resort in Cabo
San Lucas. It should have been an
incredible vacation.

However, it was an all inclusive resort, and that meant food. It pushed all my
binging buttons. I remember lying in the sun, filled with anger. I was angry
that I couldn't eat even more. I was in physical pain from how much I had
eaten and I wanted to eat more, but couldn't, so I laid there trying to digest
enough to be able to eat again.

I couldn't dress normally because my abdomen was so distorted from how

much I was consuming. While others wore sun dresses on the beach I tried to
disguise my body in loose wraps and large cover-ups.

I had an incredible life. I saw many beautiful transformations in my clients.

We continued to travel with friends and create incredible memories. However,
I was still hiding my binging. I spent so much mental energy trying to
overcome it. It seemed the harder I tried, the harder I crashed when I would
binge again. I woke up in the morning terrified because I didn't know if I
would binge that day. I felt like I had no control or choice in the matter.

Many parts of life were amazing: I had a great marriage, wonderful friends, I
was making almost $20,000 a month, I was in good health, maintaining my
weight (with huge effort), I had a beautiful little girl, and a fulfilling career.

I had a wonderful life that I couldn't enjoy.

I was tired of having this cloud over me every day. I realized that what I was
trying wasn't working. The control, the effort, and the secrecy had gotten me
nowhere.

Page 8
As soon as I surrendered to looking outside myself for an answer, a wonderful
chain of events began:

I read the gifts of imperfection

This book by Brene Brown changed my life. It talked about my relationship

with shame and living an authentic life. It talked about the power of
vulnerability. It gave me the courage to do something that terrified me.

I decided to stop hiding.

Until then, my thought process was as follows: I was a symbol of health. That
was my career. I was only good to others if I was a perfect example. If my
clients, friends, and colleagues ever found out I was a binge eater, it would all
be over.

I would be exposed as a fake, and everyone would go away.

My career would be over and binging would ruin my wonderful life. It was
already ruining it, but revealing my secret would doubly damn me. But, I did it
anyway.

I came out.

I hosted a monthly, national call about healthy living. And on the air, in front
of the people who I had been hiding from, I was honest about my binge
eating. I was authentic. Looking back, I can’t imagine NOT doing it.

I couldn’t have been more surprised by the reaction. The people who I
expected to go away stayed. Not only did they stay, but the response was
overwhelming. I was waking up daily to messages and emails. People were
pouring out their souls, how they were struggling too, and how they had been
hiding as well. I had no idea that other people were having my same struggle.

I thought I was alone in my own brand of crazy.

Page 9
It's incredible how many of us are trying to look like nothing is wrong. The
truth is: none of us is how we appear.

My next step was to accept help. I still didn't have any answers, but somehow
being open about the problem, and seeing how not alone I was, gave me hope
that there must be a solution. I started reading (gathering information). I
worked with some trusted friends. I was able to go longer between binges. My
behavior changed, but internally I felt just as crazy.

Nevertheless, there was a feeling tapping me on the shoulder that told me

that this wasn't a daily fight I had to accept -- there was a cure. Not just a food
addict that controlled her addiction, but a FORMER food addict.

I felt like there was a way to be free.

That was when I found Brain Over Binge, by Kathryn
Hansen. A friend, and fellow food addict, sent me a
message that she was done binging. She was over it. She
found the answer. I didn't believe her. I just didn't. It
seemed too simple. I had already been working on this for
over a year. I saw gradual, small changes and I was willing
to stick with it.

But that feeling tapped me on the shoulder again so I read

Brain Over Binge. It was a simple book by a non-expert.

I never binged again.

There were some great principles that I had discovered along the way that
primed me for changing so quickly. So Kathryn’s book was like a missing
piece. I knew even before I finished the book that I was done. I got it. I
understood. I was free.

Of course, everyone needed to know. I was so excited to add these principles

to my health coaching arsenal. Kathryn’s principles are so powerful in

Page 10
combination with my others. The proof was in the results of fellow bingers I
coached.

Kathryn’s “two part brain” (more on that later) concept completely changed
how I ate, but it also transformed my work, my relationships, and how I
interacted with myself.

And now I am here, for you.

After coaching over 500 clients and sharing these principles with individuals
and small groups, I had that tapping on the shoulder again. More people need
to know. And I have the ability to share it with them. That's why I created a
weekly video series to show these principles in action.

Being a normal eater, I don't like to keep eating when I am getting full. I don't
feel hungry all the time. I don't think about food all the time. I can leave food
on my plate. I don't binge. I can have one bite and stop.

These things are miracles!

However, I'm still a crazy person. Although I don't eat crazy, I still have a long
way to go. Currently I am working on body image. The idea is to nourish my
body and then let it show up at whatever size it wants to be. And then love
that. It’s hard stuff. This “beauty at any size” stuff sounds as crazy to me as
"just stop eating when you are full" used to sound. My track record with this
stuff gives me hope.

I am not as skinny as I used to be. I eat healthy, I eat

well, and my body doesn't show up naturally at
super low body fat percentage. I had to manipulate
my life in a big way to look like I used to. It isn't a
natural place for my body.

But I'll be honest about it now.

Page 11
 I'm not perfect, and I don’t want to be.
That’s not for me. I am an imperfect, struggling, honest gal who tries to be
authentic. That’s how I want to live. What I love about this journey is that I
get to have people come along with me. Other crazy, imperfect humans who
want to live a better life. If these principles that have transformed my life and
others' could help you too, I would love for you to live some Life With Lydia
and join us on the journey.

Meet Your Brains

The first thing to know is that you do not have a brain. You actually have
brains. Plural. The truth is: our brain is at war with itself. We constantly have
competing messages so distinctly different and divided that it’s more helpful,
for now, to think of these different parts of the brain as TWO DIFFERENT
BRAINS. Think about it. Any choice you make usually spurs a few different
thoughts instantaneously.

Take a cookie for instance.

“You should totally eat the cookie. It will taste good. You like that kind.”
And then...
“You should not eat that cookie. You don’t feel good when you eat cookies and it
usually leads to more cookies.”

And all the while, there is some part of you observing those two debate
(which is super interesting, but another book). Why is that?! Why would we
be so divided in our desires within ourselves? Neuroscience, evolution,
survival, perception, consciousness all play a role, but in this guide I want to
help you focus mostly on HOW it is, and not get into the weeds of WHY it is.
Don’t take my word for it, think about your personal experience with thinking
and decision making. Is there any of this that resonates with you?

Before we move any further, let’s meet your brains:

Page 12
CLICK the videos to watch!
The CHATTER BRAIN The YOU BRAIN
Priority is survival. Safety. Status Quo. Priority is goals. Aspirations.
Life or Death. Logic. Creation.

Fight or flight. Primitive. Morality. Evolved.

Non vocal. Communicates in urges.
And uses an internal “voice” that Vocal. Has final say in action.
sounds like the YOU BRAIN.

Only has the power of persuasion, but

Full reign over talking, walking or
doesn’t make any final decisions or
doing anything.
take any action.

Wants you to eat as much as possible

at any opportunity because it wants Wants to make the best choices to
you to survive the famine. 
 support your goals and happiness.
“Get it while you can” mentality.
Instant gratification Delayed gratification to support a
greater desire.
Sends repetitive messages. Refined and complex.

Highly emotional and dramatic. Ability to see other perspectives

and have empathy.

Wants you to stay the same. Wants you to grow and learn.
Willing to take risks.

Supports habitual behavior. Supports healthy change.

Page 13
 000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
The Chatter
“The Chatter” is what we call those messages, urges and demands that the
CHATTER BRAIN creates. For the CHATTER BRAIN, everything is life or
death. Its voice is often pretty dramatic and panicky. However, its ultimate
goal is to get you to act according to its goals, so it can take any form to get
what it wants. For this reason, it is often mistaken for your “true” thoughts
and what you really want.

As you continue on your journey to dismiss the chatter, you will start
recognizing the difference between the messages from the YOU BRAIN and
the CHATTER BRAIN.

Page 14
Freedom from addictions, habits, and destructive thought patterns start with
realizing that the CHATTER BRAIN messages are not YOU. You must learn to
disassociate from them. No one can force you to disassociate, and it may take
time, but I will teach you how to create the an environment that promotes a
shift in perspective.

Calling Out The Chatter

3 Steps to stop binge eating

…and be successful in everything else.

000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
These are not 3 steps to be instantly cured of all that ails you. As far as I know
that doesn’t exist. Rather, these are steps you can PRACTICE to create an
environment where the YOU BRAIN will have an advantage. Anything lasting
usually takes some practice.

You’ll literally be rewiring your brain.

Disassociating from the CHATTER BRAIN needs a bit more unpacking:
Imagine that you really want to do yoga. There is a difference between doing
yoga while standing in a fast moving river, or doing yoga on the flat banks of

Page 15
the same river. The yoga you are doing is the same, but the environment you
are in makes a huge difference.

No one would fault you for having a harder time holding your balance while
in the middle of a fast current. So don’t fault yourself for not overcoming your
habit while in the fast current of the CHATTER BRAIN perspective. Doing
yoga is like overcoming your habit. It takes practice, you build strength and
skill over time. But first, you have to get out of the river! Being in the river is
like believing that your CHATTER BRAIN thoughts are true and being driven
by the CHATTER BRAIN’s perspective and priorities. These steps will help
pluck you from the river and put you on the safe, flat shores where it will be
much easier to become the yogi you dream of being.

Step #1 - Say It - Out Loud

Say the chatter OUT LOUD. Yes, like a crazy person, in your kitchen, when
you are the only one in the house. You already feel a little crazy right? Well,
this may feel silly, but it’s a powerful tool.Here is what happens when you say
it out loud: The emotional, CHATTER BRAIN produces urges to binge, but
that’s as far as it goes. This is NOT the part of your brain that controls speech.
So when you take these urges from that non-verbal part of your brain and SAY
them OUT LOUD…guess what happens? You have to engage the part of your
brain that DOES control speech. That is none other than the YOU BRAIN. The
one that can look at things logically, that understands your goals and desires.
So when you take what you feel in the CHATTER BRAIN and SAY it in the YOU
BRAIN, you are suddenly thinking as YOU.

You are shifting the crazy urge to the logical, calm &
powerful part of your brain.
For example you may say out loud, “The chatter is saying that I should eat this
entire box of cookies, quick, before someone else gets them.” That’s definitely
been something I’ve said over the years. Trust me, they get even crazier than
that. For me, for you, everyone has super crazy streaming right beneath the

Page 16
surface. By saying it out loud, yes, you bring it up the surface, but into the
verbal light of the YOU BRAIN where it can be tested and analyzed.

Step #2 - Separate It -
Acknowledge That These Messages
are not You
When you say the chatter out loud, say “The Chatter is saying” before each
statement. The chatter voice is not you.
Just because you think it, doesn’t mean it’s true.
It also doesn’t mean it's YOU. If you really wanted to binge, deep down in
your core and your true desire was to eat until you were sick, then why don’t
you just feel good about what you are doing? I would suggest that its because
that is NOT what you really want! Don’t believe that these urges to binge are
YOU. They are just urges. There is part of you that desires to give into the
urges, sometimes just to make them go away. A magical thing happens when
you learn strategies to make them go away that don’t involve acting on those
urges and giving in.

Don’t take the CHATTER BRAIN messages personally. The CHATTER BRAIN
will say anything to get to you eat. If the the chatter said “you deserve it” last
time and it worked, it will say it again.
It’s only goal is for you to eat all the things. It will say some extremely crazy,
irrational, sometimes downright scary things to get what it wants. That is its
job. Don’t conclude that you must be crazy, irrational, and downright scary.
Remember, YOU aren’t that part of your brain. Your identity is in the higher
brain. This is why when we say it out loud we use the phrase “The chatter”
Not “I want to eat this whole box of cookies” but “The chatter is saying…I
want to eat this whole box of cookies.” Don’t own up to the CHATTER BRAIN,
own up to calling it out! Say it out loud and say “The Chatter is saying” to
confirm to yourself that it’s not you.

Page 17
Step #3 - Stare at it - Take an
Outside Perspective and Look at the
Chatter Message
Take the perspective of an observer. Like you are listening to someone else’s
conversation.
A good way to start out is saying, “Isn’t that interesting…” after you call out
the chatter.

“Hmmmmm…have I heard that message before? Is that true? How do I feel

about that?”
“Do I really want to eat the whole box of cookies before someone else does?”

You may have the YOU BRAIN pipe up when you practice this. It may say
something like,
“Oh these are those nasty, stale cookies. You don’t even like these.”

The YOU BRAIN may be surprised and confused.

“Why would you want to eat them really fast? And why do you need to hoard
them? You can get more at the store right? And cookies don’t really sound
good. If we are going to have cookies can we have the good kind? I’m actually
really hungry. Can we have dinner?”
You start thinking LOGICALLY about the CRAZY CHATTER BRAIN messages.
And you may just feel the panic melt away.

Maybe you’ll eat one cookie calmly and enjoy it. Maybe you just skip them,
but you are making that choice via your non crazy brain!

Page 18
These principles are powerful for binge eating, emotional eating, or any sort
of disordered eating. But they certainly aren’t food-specific. Here are some
ways they apply to other areas of life. Anytime you find a mode of thought
that isn’t serving you, you aren’t doing something you want to do, doing
something you don’t want to, or experiencing thoughts that are keeping you
down, there is usually chatter involved. The trick is to 1)say it 2) separate
from it 3) stare at it.

Relationships
I don’t like cold water. It’s always, “no ice and room temperature” if I had it
my way. But I couldn’t have it my way. My husband and I moved into a new
house and the only source of filtered water was from our fridge door in a
ridiculously tiny stream and it had one setting: super cold (I know these are
first-world problems, but stick with me here).

000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
Being the water enthusiast I am, I found a way. I would fill up my water bottle,
leave it on the counter for about 4 hours, and then come back and find a
perfectly room-temperature beverage.

One day I came into the kitchen to gather my hard-earned prize, and my
husband was there, finishing off my bottle of water. I burst into tears. This
was an over reaction. Our CHATTER BRAIN is the main culprit behind
overreactions.

Page 19
In a relationship, when something goes wrong, our CHATTER BRAIN looks to
protect us. One way it does that is to create a story, and it latches onto it. It
feels safe to have something sure to hold onto. But here’s the kicker: the story
doesn’t need to be true. In fact, most of the time it’s not. But we feel safer
having a story anyway. Even if it flies in the face of experience from many
years of marriage.

Here was my chatter: “He is drinking my water because he doesn’t respect me.
He doesn’t respect my time and he doesn’t respect my work.”

The chatter wasn’t true, but it was the quickest story my brain could create,
and it was enough to create some strong emotions and go into “fight or
flight” mode, which is the CHATTER BRAIN’s only mode. Despite strong
emotion, I practiced the 3 steps.

Step #1 - Say It - Out Loud

I said it out loud (be sure the people you use this with know what you are
doing or they may be really confused. If they don’t know, you can always say
it under your breath or lock yourself in the bathroom for a “chatter break”).
“The chatter is saying that because you are drinking my water you don’t
respect my time or my work.”

Step #2 - Separate It - Acknowledge That These

Messages are not You
I realized it was the chatter. That wasn’t me. I am not feeling this. Rather, my
CHATTER BRAIN is fighting to protect me.

Step #3 - Stare at it - Take an Outside Perspective

and Look at the Chatter Message
Look at the chatter. Start asking questions:

“What opposite evidence do I have?”

Page 20
In the case of the inhumanely hydrating husband, I asked, “Do I have any
experiences to support that he actually DOES respect my time and my work?”
By this time I was looking at the issue with my logical brain and found
evidence from our years of marriage that came flooding into my mind.

My thoughts changed and my emotions changed.

However, what if I had simply followed the path of the CHATTER BRAIN? I
would have believed the emotion. If I think it’s true, than I think it’s how I
really feel. If it’s how I feel, then I start gathering evidence to support it being
true. It's a vicious current in the CHATTER BRAIN river.

Have you ever been mad about socks being left around and find yourself
enraged about all the other messes they have made over the years? It’s how
our brains work. It gathers evidence for whatever you decide to believe. The
more evidence you gather, the stronger you feel. To the point where, if I
could’ve muttered something through my tears, it would have had nothing to
do with my husband drinking my water, but everything to do with all the
other examples my brain had gathered proving that he hadn’t respected my
time. Even if there are many more examples of him actually showing great
respect for my time, those opposite examples simply won’t exist in the
moment, because I didn’t ask my brain to look for them. Unless of course, I
say it, separate myself from it, and stare at it.

Do you see the power of calling out the chatter early on? And all the stress it
can save a relationship to know how your brain works and guide it back to the
chatter at hand and then dismiss said chatter?

We don’t get angry about what happens.

We get angry about the thoughts we have about what
happens.

Page 21
Body Image
This is a useful topic for many who are overcoming binge eating. When I was
bulimic, I was thinner. When I stopped being bulimic, my body moved to my
natural size, which is bigger.

If you are like I was, you may be panicking right now and the chatter is
running wild. Hang with me. Maybe the chatter is saying something like,
“Well if I have to gain weight to stop binging, then I need to find another way
to stop because I can’t gain weight. I am already up in weight because of the
binging, so if I can’t find something that makes me thinner at the same time
as breaking my binging habit, then I can’t do it. In fact, I feel like binging
right now because this is never going to work so I might as well live it up. I
want to be happy in my body, but I just need to lose some weight to do that.
And why would I accept my body how it is right now? It’s unacceptable right
now.” Whoah. Slow down.

Just hang with me for a minute and let’s step out of the river together.
Reading this, or just trying a thought experiment will not hurt you. And you
can always choose to drop it.

But just for fun, with zero commitment, would you be open
to seeing another perspective? Cool.
When you overcome binge eating, different things might happen. You may
lose weight (after all you aren’t binging!). Like me, you may gain weight. I
love no longer being a too thin, unhealthy, completely insane person. You
may stay the same weight. I am suggesting here, that the journey, no matter
what happens, is much more pleasant if you aren’t hating your body all the
time. It is a lie that if you love your body you will be stuck in that body. Bodies
change.

You are actually less likely to change your body when

loathing it

Page 22
because it will drive you to deprive and restrict, which will fire up your
CHATTER BRAIN, which will promote more binging, which will create panic
and a huge perceived need to restrict again (sound familiar?).

I disliked my body when I first started dieting. I lost weight. I was happy at my
“goal” weight for about 2 days, but then I had a whole new standard for my
body. If I could be thinner, then I could be fitter and leaner too. And so that
started. I was no more happy with my lean body than I was when I was bigger.
That is the key here. I loathed my body, but it hit me one day that I didn’t
loathe it any more or less than 20 pounds ago. The size of your body doesn’t
matter, the thoughts you have about your body create the satisfaction (or lack
thereof).

Also, realize you may have a lot of emotions around the chatter. It can be hard
to say this out loud. You may feel shame about these thoughts. Remind
yourself that they are just thoughts. They are impacting you whether you are
acknowledging them or not. Just because the chatter is there, doesn’t mean
you intellectually agree with it. Indeed, one reason you feel bad is because
you don’t agree with it.

Step #1 - Say It - Out Loud

Thinner women are happier and have more value.
I would be prettier thinner.
I would be happier thinner.
I can’t imagine doing anything that I really want to in life at my current size.
The fat on my body is a sign that something is wrong with my life and people can
see it.
My weight is a sign of being undisciplined.
No one wants me like this.
No one is attracted to me like this.

Step #2 - Separate It - Acknowledge That These

Messages are not You

Page 23
Be open to the idea these thoughts aren’t coming from you, but rather the
chatter, which loves slurping up our culture’s standard of beauty. Walking
through the mall, do you see one picture of a woman that promotes the
message “It’s ok not to be super thin?” Probably not. Some of the crazy
thoughts bouncing around in your head are from outside sources. Your
dissatisfaction with you body drives you to buy products and gimmicks. “I
accept me as I am” doesn’t sell much. Companies are incentivized to make
you unhappy so they can sell you something to cure the unhappiness they
created.

Step #3 - Stare at it - Take an Outside Perspective

and Look at the Chatter Message
What would someone say who is really attracted to women of my shape/size?
Do I logically believe those chatter thoughts?
Are there people in this world that don’t believe those thoughts?
Have I had happiness in this body?
Have I any reason to enjoy my life in this body as it is?

I’ll be honest everyone, this is where I am covering new ground, personally.

For instance, here is how my “Step 3: stare at it”, has evolved. Actual thoughts
when I look in the mirror:

“I DO feel like my body is hideous and unacceptable. I feel panicky when I see
my reflection. But I intellectually know that those feelings aren’t totally
logical.”

“My body isn’t as thin as it could be, but it has lots of great qualities. It could
be considered beautiful by some people.”

(After some practice with this I noticed that I didn’t think or panic about my
body as much)
“Maybe this is a more natural shape for my body. Women are all different
shapes.”

Page 24
“What if my curves were beautiful? What if I am not trying to be beautiful
despite them, but what if they actually contribute to my beauty because they
are me?”

“I have a nice body. This is my shape. What if I owned it and felt beautiful in
it? What if I never got thinner?”

My point is: give it time and practice. Your mind will evolve on it’s own if you
guide it. Meaning: you won’t feel different all at once. You’ll just notice that it
has happened one day. It’s amazing.

A great resource for learning about body image is one of my heros, Summer
Innanen. You can read her book on body image “The Body Image Remix.” Or
listen to her Podcast “Fearless Rebel Radio.”

Building a Business
I have been a business coach for many years, to many people. One principle
that comes up time and again is that success in business has little to do with

000000000000000
what we do, but what we think about when we’re doing it.

000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
This section is specifically aimed at the business efforts that require
networking and word-of-mouth referrals. If you work in a skilled trade, or
work as an employee for someone else, this example may not directly relate
to you, but the principles can still be useful because even a data management
specialist, locked away in a computer closet somewhere will eventually need
to interact with someone successfully.

Page 25
So, you are either starting or growing your business. You’ll want everyone to
know about it. You’ll start with people you know. You’ll call them to tell them
about it. You’ll tell them how they can refer people. It’s that simple, right?

Then why doesn’t everyone do it? Because most people won’t.

Most people have a hard time doing things. Why? Going from 0 clients or 0
revenue to 1 client and $100 in revenue would be a CHANGE. Remember who
freaks out about change? Yup, the CHATTER BRAIN. You have survived your
whole life without clients, so the uncharted territory of business success will
hit your CHATTER BRAIN as a threat. One that must be avoided if you are to
survive. Don’t you dare pick up that phone. Here is how you could use the 3
steps when about to call a friend and tell them about your business.

Step 1 - Say It - Out Loud

If I call my friends to tell them about my business, they will think I am bugging
them.
They will think I only care about selling them something.
They will think I am being “that guy”.
They will not be my friend anymore.
They will tell other people I am a pushy salesperson.
They will think I’m not a real friend.
I will say the wrong thing and totally mess up.
If they have any questions I won’t be prepared to answer them.
I should get a lot better at this before I try it and risk my WHOLE LIFE BEING
DESTROYED!!!!!

Step 2 - Separate It - Acknowledge That These

Messages are not You
Be sure to say “The chatter is saying” before each chatter thought you are
saying out loud.

Page 26
Step #3 - Stare at it - Take an Outside Perspective
and Look at the Chatter Message
First, recognize the panicked & dramatic tone of those thoughts. The panic
and drama are dead giveaways about the source of your thoughts and
feelings.

One of my mentors, Kim Fiske, has a great counter to these thoughts. She
suggests asking this question: Do you really know what they are going to
think? You don’t right? There is no way you will know what they will actually
think. So you are making it all up! What they think is being totally made up by
you.

If you are making it up, why not make up something great?

What if they were praying to God that morning for the very thing you were
calling them about? What if they were secretly preparing to talk to you about
your new business, but they were just too shy?

As you are open to making up new things (since you are making it all up
anyway), think of the end result. What thoughts would you make up that
would lead you to be terrified of calling? What thoughts would you make up
that would lead you to dive for the phone with excitement? Then choose the
thoughts based on what you want to happen!

Another great question to ask is “what is LIKELY to happen?” The chatter is

extreme. Extreme rarely happens in real life. That’s why we call it extreme. In
real, logical life, how do you think your friend is likely to react? Would a true
friend, after years of friendship, completely change their opinion of you after
one phone call? You could probably call them and say you hate them and they
most likely would just ask if you are drunk.

Page 27
Procrastination
Can you imagine a life where you just did what you wanted, right away? You
would probably be a very fit millionaire by now. Procrastination steals a huge
part of our life. The mental energy spent on “I really need to do that” is often
times more work than just doing it. Thanks, Nike.

Procrastination often stems from being overwhelmed. It feels like too big of a
task, so we don’t even start. We can’t imagine doing the whole thing, and so
we do nothing.

The good news is, it’s easy.

Everything you will ever do to create anything you will ever want, is super
easy. Here’s why - you are mentally and physically incapable of doing
anything all at once. You are not a wizard. You can’t “clean the kitchen”. You
can only walk into the kitchen, pick up a dish, turn on the water, rinse the
dish, open the dishwasher, put the dish inside, pick up another dish...and so
on. Are you getting the idea? None of those tiny steps are hard. If I asked you
right now to just walk into your kitchen, you’d be able to. It would be done in
2 seconds. If I asked you to clean your kitchen, you might spend those
seconds spinning your mental tires or you could start walking. They are your
two seconds. You choose. They can move you forward, or stress you out.

The CHATTER BRAIN wants you to be forever procrastinating (unless it’s

about gorging yourself on food, sex, vegging out, etc.). This is to protect you.
To do this, it usually thinks of the worst case scenario. It would rather you
think about doing something than do it because doing anything is risky. New
is risky. It loves habits for that reason. They aren’t risky. If part of your
pattern is to procrastinate doing the dishes until they are piled dangerously
high, then the CHATTER BRAIN will actually help you to do that same thing
again. What has been done in the past feels safe for the present. If you have
ever said “why do I always put this off until it’s an emergency!?” The answer
is probably because you have before. That simple. Procrastination is a habit. If
you start doing things differently, that will be your new habit.

Page 28
Step 1 - Say It - Out Loud
I don’t have time to clean the kitchen.
I should get someone’s help to do this this.
These are not all my dishes.
I have some other work to do first.
I have another day or so before this needs to get done.

Step 2 - Separate It - Acknowledge That These

Messages are not You
Before each statement, say out loud, “the chatter is saying”.

You DO want to clean the kitchen. You want what you get from having it
clean. You are tired of thinking of needing to clean it. So thoughts that
prevent you from starting the task are from the CHATTER BRAIN.

Step #3 - Stare at it - Take an Outside Perspective

and Look at the Chatter Message
What would be the first, tiny, easy step I would need to do to get this started?
I am just going to do that. I can stop after that. I am not going to do the whole
thing now.
I will wash one dish and then do something else.
Realize that you can trick your way into doing anything with less delay by
saying that you won’t complete it, but you will just START doing it.

There is incredible power in taking the first step.

How many times have you heard, “Putting on your shoes is the hardest part of
the run”? It’s a real principle. The most energy is spent on just starting.
Have you ever washed a dish and then while you are there, it just made sense
to wash the rest? You have probably cleaned a whole kitchen that way before.
It still works. It works by disassociating the dread of doing it from your own
identity.

Page 29
After you call out the chatter a few times, and start earlier and earlier on the
dishes, something interesting starts happening. You start developing a habit.
You have a brain that supports starting the dishes right away, instead of
waiting a day. That habit will become just as strong as your “wait a day” habit
was.

Exercise
I still have chatter come up every time I think of working out. Its a really
sticky habit to start because it requires a central betrayal of the CHATTER
BRAIN’s priorities. You are intentionally seeking out moderate pain. You are
going to battle, so to speak. This is in direct opposition to everything the
CHATTER BRAIN wants. This is why habits of exercise are particularly hard to
establish.

Step 1 - Say It - Out Loud

I don’t have the right clothes.
I don’t have time.
I always hurt myself.
It’s not going to make a difference.
I can do it tomorrow.
I like working out in the morning so it’s too late now.

Step 2 - Separate it - Acknowledge That These

Messages are not You
Before each statement, say out loud, “the chatter is saying”.

Remember that these statements don’t come from your actual feelings
(although they may feel like it), your CHATTER BRAIN just throws them at
you because they have worked before.
Think about it, what is “Your thing?” The last time you didn’t exercise, what
message did your brain tell you? Did it work? Did it keep you from working
out? Well then you are probably hearing it again simply because it’s effective.

Page 30
 Your brain isn’t interested in making up new stuff if the old
stuff worked.
Step 3 - Stare at it - Take an Outside Perspective and
Look at the Chatter Message
What do I want from exercise?
How did I feel after I worked out last time?
Have I regretted exercising before?
The next 30 minutes are going to pass, whether I work out or not. I could be done
by the time I think about it anymore.
And then use the ol’ trickster move: How about I don’t have to work out, but I
will just put on my gym clothes? I’m just getting into the pattern. I don’t have to
keep going. Maybe I’ll even just drive to the gym and walk inside. I can come right
back out. I just want to start making those connections in my brain.

Give your brain a really long runway. No vertical take-offs here. Just nice, easy
going changes. This minimizes (doesn’t eliminate) the panic your CHATTER
BRAIN will throw at you.

Ruts in the Road

On any road we travel, there will be bumps along the way. I hope most have
lived enough to realize this on their own, but I have guided many people
along this path, so I am going to give you a sneak peek at what to expect and
how to navigate around the rough parts of the road.

When we first start calling out the chatter, it will seem incredibly difficult.

We still believe the chatter.

We think it’s us and we think it’s true. It will try to keep you from saying it
because, yep, saying it might keep you from doing it, and that’s all your
chatter wants: to do the thing that keeps you safe, being the same, well-fed,
etc.

Page 31
You may have chatter like, “Well if the chatter is powerless, then why have I
given into it so much?” You might feel stupid for being duped so often by
such a simple puzzle. You might deceive yourself into thinking it's more
complex, just to ensure that you don’t feel stupid for being tricked. The
chatter is not that powerful, but habits are. Most of us were simply taught to
identify with and act in accordance with our thoughts and feelings. This habit
runs very deep. So the problem is simple, but profoundly integral to most of
our lives.

000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
I hope the following analogy helps:

Imagine you work as a cashier at a gas station. You’re working alone

when someone comes in and points a gun at you through their jacket
pocket. They tell you to give them the money or you die.
Imagine how you would feel! Your pulse would rise. Staring at the
covered barrel, you’d probably do anything to save your life.

But then, think about what would happen if they pulled out the gun
and revealed it as a twig with a couple leaves dangling from it. Would
you feel any different? Of course you would! You’d be much less
inclined to obey. You’d even feel less distress, without even trying.
You’d put forth zero effort to be less scared. Even if he puts the stick
back under his jacket, you can’t un-see what you saw.

Page 32
That’s how calling out the chatter works. We reveal that the chatter isn’t
holding you at gunpoint. It’s just pointing a stick at you. If fully revealed, you
won’t have to try to feel differently. You just will.

Also, you don’t fault yourself for thinking it was a gun, do you? You didn’t
know! You acted accordingly, given your assumptions (or habits) of
concluding that a pointy thing under a jacket, that has been declared a gun is,
in fact, a gun. Please give yourself some grace! Release any guilt for how you
acted. Eating at gunpoint isn’t pretty, but it is understandable.

Calling out the chatter lessens its power sometimes instantly, sometimes
gradually. Just know that if you are consistently calling it out, you are forming
a habit which will, eventually, neutralize the chatter’s power over your
actions.

Here are some other common reasons why you may not call out the chatter
and their accompanying solutions:

000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
You feel like you're gonna die.
Your CHATTER BRAIN is about survival, so if it doesn’t get it’s way, it’s always
a life and death reaction. And it’s kind of dramatic. Your chatter may say “If
we don’t eat that whole cake we are gonna die!” And you may react with “I
was going to call out the chatter but I feel really uneasy. Like I’m gonna die!”

Page 33
Solution:
You can call out THAT chatter first. For instance, “The chatter is saying I’m
going to die if I try that thing Lydia suggested. Is that even a possibility?” Use
the 3 steps for that first wave of chatter.

You feel like you HAVE TO do something.

You may think that calling out the chatter means that you will HAVE TO
follow through on what you are trying to achieve. The chatter may say,
“You’re trying not to eat the cake! NOOO! You love cake! You really do want
it. Why would you put ANYTHING in the way of eating all the cake?!” And
then you never try calling out the chatter because you are trying to make the
whole choice from your crazy chatter place!

Solution:
Calm. Down.

You can still have the cake.

Yes, you heard me right! You can have whatever you want, whenever you
want, as much as you want. You are just PRACTICING calling out the chatter.
You don’t HAVE TO do anything afterward.
You could say “I’m just gonna practice this. No pressure. I can eat the cake
after this. I can binge after this. But I want to make that choice from a non-
crazy place.”

You’re scared it’s not gonna work.

Your CHATTER BRAIN protects you from danger. If you are scared, it senses
danger and it goes into hypermode. You may have thoughts like, “What if this
doesn’t work? If I can’t make this work, I’ll be broken forever. My husband
will leave me, I’ll gain 100 pounds, and all my kids will grow up to be crazy
people.” Your CHATTER BRAIN will sense your panic and think “Danger!
Danger! Danger! I don’t know what you're about to try, but DON’T DO IT!
This feels really dangerous. If you try this, WE’RE GONNA DIE!”

Page 34
Solution:
Shift your perspective to calm the chatter. Say, “What if this could work? I
don’t know if it will. Let’s just see. Let’s do an experiment. I wouldn’t expect
anything big to happen after one try. No big deal. Let’s just gather some data.”

It doesn’t work perfectly the first time.

You may feel broken, or that it doesn’t work for you.

Solution:
Remember: everyone’s journey is different. Be patient as your brain has an
opportunity to make the shift. What else in life do we expect instant results
from? Did we give up on other things after trying once? What about walking,
feeding ourselves, not peeing in our pants, riding a bike, not dating
douchebags anymore, quitting smoking, learning to read? What if we had
given up on that stuff after one “failed” attempt?

00000000000000000
00000000000000000
00000000000000000
000000000000000

Page 35
TIPS
● Recognize the Voices. The CHATTER BRAIN is panicky and repetitive.
A broken record. It just says what works. If confused, ask “What is this
message leading me toward?” If it’s keeping a bad habit you are trying
to break, it’s the CHATTER BRAIN.
● Be assured that how you feel WILL change. The urges will go away
whether you act on them or not. No one has ever craved ice cream for
weeks on end. No feeling, no matter how sad or happy, ever sticks.
When in doubt, know that you can simply give yourself time.
● Pretend. If you hear a message and you can’t tell if it’s the CHATTER
BRAIN or the YOU BRAIN, just pretend it’s the CHATTER BRAIN. When
in doubt, call it out. If you call out “chatter” that’s actually aligned with
the YOU BRAIN, that same brain will pipe up and tell you so. Try it with
something you know is true to your higher self. Maybe try, “The Chatter
is saying that I love my children” (assuming you love your children).
When you say it, does your YOU BRAIN pipe up and calmly say, “Yah
you do!”? You may feel the difference between the calm reassurance
and the panicky, desperate feeling of the CHATTER BRAIN. Pretend,
just in case, and it should be clear on the back end.
● Do it anyway. Tell yourself you will still binge. And then you could
still binge. But don’t stop calling out the chatter. You could call out the
chatter through your whole binge and learn a ton! But telling yourself
you “can’t” or “won’t” on the front end may prevent you from calling it
out. Stopping calling out the chatter because you “gave in” will keep
you from some good practice. I have had much “better” binges when I
called out the chatter with every next bite. It’s all good stuff. Value the
practice. There is no failure.
● Let yourself eat. I know this can sound hard, especially if you are in
the pattern of restricting calories between binges to do “damage
control”. Realize that part of getting out of the cycle can happen on the
purge phase as much as the binge phase. Restricting calories during a
purge phase really triggers the survival brain. It’s in charge of keeping
you alive so if you are signaling a famine, it’s likely to bring out the big

Page 36
 guns to keep you safe. Eat adequately and call out the chatter about
that too!

00000000000000000
00000000000000000
00000000000000000
00000000000000000
● Be Patient. Don’t freak out if it doesn’t happen right away. You are
creating an environment for paradigm shifts. A realization that these
urges are not you. Not just knowing intellectually, but really believing
they are just the CHATTER BRAIN sending you messages. That may
take an instant, a week, or a year, but you don’t have to DO anything. It
will come to you as you stay open to seeing it differently.
● Notice emotion. When you feel a strong emotion, there is usually
underlying chatter. Our feelings stem from our thoughts. When I have
clients that are still learning to “hear” the chatter, I have them notice
when they feel emotions like, anger, fear, or desperation. When you feel
an emotion, think, “What is the chatter saying?” and you will usually
find some chatter pestering you.
● Partner with an expert. This is what I do. I coach people on these
principles. Having an outside perspective from someone who knows
how this journey works can save you so much time and trial and error.
Shoot me a message and we can walk this journey together. Click HERE
for more info on how that works. And click HERE to meet some of my
clients. My proof pudding, so to speak.

Page 37
Prime the Pump
The YOU BRAIN is located in the prefrontal cortex of your brain. It’s this
incredible area of our brain that gives us hopes, higher thoughts and
personality. It can be strengthened. You will be doing some heavy lifting as
you practice these principles, so here are a few tips to strengthen the YOU
BRAIN:

Breathing
Breathing has a host of amazing benefits and is a great way to start out.
Mindful breathing strengthens mindfulness in general, which also
strengthens the YOU BRAIN.

It’s a way to keep you in the moment.

It’s repetitive and goes in two distinct directions that don’t overlap: inhaling
and exhaling. I’m not talking about the shallow breath that we commonly
experience thought the day, I am talking about a deep breath down into the
belly.

Try it with me right now. Inhale deeply and slowly, hold it for just a moment,
and exhale slowly and completely. Bring awareness to how you feel in this
moment compared to before the deep breath.

There are few things that can change a mood so instantly

like an intentional, deep breath.
This can also be powerful in creating new connections in your brain. Neurons
that “fire together wire together.” That’s how habits are created. For instance,
if you have a habit of eating when you are stressed, a likely factor is that you
have done that repeatedly. You feel stressed so you eat. Eating and stress have
been connected in your brain until they become and automatic connection.
When you feel stress, you automatically feel the need to eat.

Page 38
But just as this connection has been strengthened through repetition, it can
also be weakened when not acted upon. It’s more difficult to not do
something than to do something else. The breath is an amazing, accessible
and easy “something else”. Substitute breathing for whatever bad habit and
watch your brain change.

000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000

For instance, when I first started practicing the principles of calling out the
chatter, I would often times forget until it was too late. I had existing
connections in my brain that set off a chain reaction of bad behavior. The
breath changed all that.

In the space between my urge to binge and calling out the

chatter, I felt too weak to make a decision or change my
outcome.
However, I found that I did have the strength to just take a breath. I had a
commitment to myself to “take a few deep breaths first.” It felt doable. Just
giving myself breathing room gave me the stability to start calling out the
chatter. and giving the YOU BRAIN a better and better opportunity to be
successful.

At the beginning, I needed to be extra intentional about my breath. I had no

such habit, but after a while of creating that connection in my brain, it
became automatic. I had created new neurological pathways. As soon as I felt

Page 39
the urge to binge, I would automatically find myself taking a deep, cleansing
breath. We can literally create connections in our brain that give us an
advantage.

Meditation
I can’t know for sure, but if I were to guess what gave me the ability to realize
that the CHATTER BRAIN was not me, and thus, in one moment, be free of
binge eating, it was meditation. I had picked up meditation practice a few
years before I found these principles, and the practice had given me
experience in observing thoughts without being attached to them.

000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
Before meditating regularly, I simply had this constant stream of thoughts
(like we all do), but I didn’t pay much attention to it, and I was a slave to how
these thoughts made me feel. They were the same as me, they were me, and I
trusted and believed them like I always had and never knew not to. Through
meditation, I was able to observe these thoughts and recognize them as
something other than who I was.
They were just thoughts.
My thoughts, but not me. My car, my phone, my thoughts.

When reading first about the idea of the CHATTER BRAIN, I had this
realization that those urges and thoughts were just like the other thoughts:

Page 40
totally powerless and never lasting. If there is one thing you can do to give
yourself an advantage in changing any part of your life, I would give yourself
meditation. It’s incredibly powerful for strengthening the YOU BRAIN.

Here is a simple way to meditate:

● Sit quietly and get rid of distractions like your phone or computer.
● Set a timer for any amount of time. I would start with 2 minutes.
● Close your eyes and breath normally.
● Pay attention to your breathing: How does it feel? Where does the
breath go?
● Try to keep your attention on your breathing.
● Your mind will wander and you will start thinking of other things.
When you realize this, bring yourself back to your breathing.
● You will likely spend the whole time bringing yourself back to your
breathing because your mind naturally wanders. That is OK.

Here are a few things that may be part of your

experience as you get started:
● When you first get quiet, the chatter often seems louder. This can be
startling. And it may make you want to quit. Just keep going. Know that
those thoughts were already there, they just seem louder because you
turned down other mental noise and distraction.
● Your mind will wander. That’s what it does. Expect and accept this. It’s
the practice of bringing yourself back after a wander that is beneficial.
● Be easy and calm around your thoughts. You may be tempted to judge
what you are thinking or doing. This thought is good, or bad or right or
wrong. They are just thoughts. No need to analyze them. They will
come and go. No thought stays forever.
● You will find that things change with consistent practice. You may stay
focused a little longer. You may not feel so attached to your thoughts.
You may judge them less. You may go in a cycle and feel like you are
doing “good” and then have a day where the timer goes off and all you
did was play out some imaginary conversation in your brain. Don’t
judge that either. Like most things in life, you will feel like you aren’t

Page 41
 making perfect progress. You aren’t. But you are making progress. Let it
happen. You only control being consistent. Give your practice
consistency and all else will fall into place.

Mindfulness
I define mindfulness as living your life the only way that you can: by being
there. Being in the moment. The only one that exists. The one right now. We
live much of our lives analyzing and worrying about the past, or planning and
preparing for the future. Neither of which exist. The past is impossible to
change. The future is impossible to predict. Mindfulness gives you a great
advantage in overcoming any habit because it will help you practice
disassociated observation of the present moment.

Here is a quick mindfulness practice:

Ask yourself these questions:

• How does my clothing feel against my skin right now?
• Is there anywhere in my body I am holding tension?
• What thoughts are in my mind right now?
• What do you see when you look around? Literally describe them in your
mind.

This is your life. Right now.

Any stress or trauma is probably in the past, or predicted in the future. But
right now, in this moment, how are you? I am guessing you probably aren’t
too sad, and you aren’t too happy. You are living your life how most of your
life is. It just….is.

You can’t enjoy it unless you are here.

Take this moment to enjoy whatever is your current experience. Even if it’s
unpleasant. If you are sad right now, feel your sadness without judgement,

Page 42
and celebrate that if you are aware of feeling it in this present moment. You
are living.

Another benefit of mindfulness is being aware how things change. You have
probably never had a totally “good” or “bad” day. We go through a range of
emotions. Nothing ever lasts. Our compulsions and urges are the same way. If
you don’t act on them, they will change and fade. This is something you can
observe moment to moment. When you know that nothing lasts, everything is
survivable. All you need to do is let enough moments pass.

The Positives of the Chatter

You are probably reading this guide because you have something you want to
change in your life. We often seek help when we want change, not when we
feel we have arrived at perfection. However, I feel like to complete the story,
we should cover both sides. You have things you want to change in life. You
have things you feel totally neutral about. And you have things that you are
already so awesome in that you may not even notice.

Lets be mindful of the awesome!

You are where you are today, with whatever amount of success that you
perceive, because you have existing thought patterns that have gotten you
there. Whoever you are, you have many strong thought patterns for good
habits.

000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000
000000000000000

Page 43
There are those of you reading this right now that have a really strong and
unshakable sense that you are gorgeous. For some of you, you just know you
are smart, lucky, or successful.

And you act that way. Because you act that way, you attract more evidence to
support it. And not just that, because you think it, your brain gathers
evidence to support it and will ignore any contrary evidence. Your belief just
gets stronger and stronger. This is called a confirmation bias.

You confirm what you already believe.

I’ll give you an example from my own life. One underlying belief that I
developed, for whatever reason, was that if there was something to be done, I
was a person who would work hard, follow the steps, and be successful.
Whatever the challenge or competition, all I needed was to keep going and
work the hard. I didn’t think of it as talent, just tenacity. I believed that if
someone was going to win, it might as well be the person who stuck it out.
Everything is designed for someone to be successful at it, and if I kept going, I
would be that person.

This idea served me a lot in life. In college, I would look at a syllabus, see how
many points I needed to get an A, and just keep getting points until that
happened. I was “that person that would just keep working.” So I got all A’s.

When I first started my coaching business, I figured there were lots of people
who could do it better than I could, but I was “that person that would just
keep working”, so I rose to the top ranks of my company.

I had chatter.

I had the kind of chatter that kept me in the same habit of

being successful.
The chatter said, “just keep going. This is what we do. Just keep working. This
always works. If someone is going to succeed, it might as well be me.” That
chatter worked before, so my brain kept using it to keep the status quo. My
mind gathered evidence for what I believed. My mind brought up other times
that I had been successful doing this. My mind made it hard to recall times

Page 44
where that didn’t happen (and there certainly were those times). The specifics
of the chatter didn’t matter. I could have had different chatter that supported
the idea of “I’m lucky”, and I would have gathered evidence for all the lucky
moments in college and business.

Even now, my chatter is saying that I should write this guide. Yes, other
people are more qualified and better writers, but there is this chatter that says
“Yah, but you will stick with it and work hard and if someone is going to be
successful in getting these principles out, it might as well be you.”

That may not be true. But I have a brain that has believed this habit of belief
for long enough that it still believes it. And it drives my behavior to support
it.

The chatter that helps us isn’t any more true

than the chatter that hurts us.

We just make it true because we believe it and act on it and develop a habit in
our brain.

Remember: the chatter is just doing its job. It’s not out to get you. And it’s
not out to help you. It’s just out to do what it does: keep you doing what you
do. Patterns, cycles and habits. They’re safe because they are the same. The
status quo. What is known, however painful and pitiful, is safer than the
unknown.

If you are someone who believes that changing your relationship with food is
too hard, you will tend to remember the times you binged and forget the
times you didn’t. As you practice these principles, you will start making a
shift, and I encourage you to notice! Notice and celebrate the times that you
don’t binge. Remember the times you feel calm around food.

It will signal your mind to look for more.

Page 45
Over time, your brain will start supporting your new identity: I am someone
who doesn’t think food is a big deal. That mindset will become just as strong as
the old one.

Our brain is at war with itself. One part seeking to change. One part seeking
status quo. If mindful, your status quos can eventually serve you, and your
dreams will not be stifled by the chatter. Your higher self, YOU will be striving
and creating and loving it.

I hope these tools will give you the advantage in doing what you want and
living life on your own terms.

So now what?
You are not alone in the journey. Say HI! Share your story.
Turn this into something real.

Page 46
 Let’s stay connected!
000000000000
000000000000 000000000000
000000000000 000000000000
000000000000 000000000000
000000000000 000000000000
000000000000

0000000000
0000000000 0000000 0000000 0000000 0000000
0000000000 0000000 0000000 0000000 0000000
0000000000 0000000 0000000 0000000 0000000

More Videos every Monday

00000000000000
00000000000000
00000000000000

Page 47