Latin-American Reformed Seminary Ephesians

May 2018

Lecture 14
Ephesians 5: 22-33

Intro.

- As Paul has been

o Teaching his readers
 Teaching us
o About what it means
 To live a faithful Christian life
 He has
o As we have noted
 Been using a careful
o And logical progression
 Narrowing down
 And focusing in
 On the very
practical ways
that the Gospel
comes to bear
on our daily
lives.
- If there was a mark
o Of how the Gospel
 Was received
 In Ephesus
o It was
 A quick understanding
 That allegiance to King Jesus
o Meant
 To forsake all other
gods.

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- Over the past couple of weeks

o We have seen
 How this was true
 Among those who were not converted
under Paul’s preaching
 As well as those
o Who were.
o Were it Demetrius the Silversmith
 And his fellow craftsmen
 Who understood enough
o Of what Paul was saying
o To understand
 That it had the
potential to completely
reorient the economy
of Ephesus
 If people were drawn
away
 From the
worship of the
goddess
Artemis
 To the worship
of Christ.
o Or were it the magicians
 Who burned
 $6 million worth of books
o As they forsook their
superstition
 And embraced Christ

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 As He was
offered in the
gospel.
- If we were to identify
o One particular hallmark
 Of the arrival of the Gospel
 In Ephesus
o It was the widespread understanding
 That this Gospel
 Must change everything.
o It was the widespread understanding
 That Jesus is not someone
 Who could simply be coopted
o Into your preexisting life,
 But One
 Who completely overturns
o And transforms
 Your life.

- And as Paul writes

o This letter
 From his Roman prison
 Something like 10 years after
o His ministry in the city,
o He writes
 To further help his readers understand
 Just how much
o This Gospel transforms and
informs their lives

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 Especially in the
minutiae of daily
relationships.
- We could almost say
o That what we come to here
 In verse 22
 Is the point to which
o This whole letter has been
moving.

o What Paul will address from here

 Through ch. 6 verse 9
 Is in one sense
o The focus of this letter,
o And everything that we have
been studying so far
 Has been laying the
groundwork
 For what we
are about to
study.

- Paul has been carefully

o And intentionally
 Building his case
 For how the Gospel
o Comes to bear on our lives.

- In one sense
o What Demetrius and the Magicians
 Understood and did

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 Was the easy part.

o (both the magicians who came
to know Christ, and the
silversmiths who didn’t
 Understood that
embracing the Gospel
involves a radical
change of life.
o It was the blunt-force implications of the Gospel.
 It is fairly easy
 To understand
o That King Jesus
 is not just some minor
deity
 who will be
coopted into
your
preexisting
pantheon.
- It doesn’t take much work
o To understand
 The grand implications
 Of the Gospel.
o (although to be fair,
 Not as many
understand those
implications as they
should)
- But it doesn’t really take a lot of work
o To understand
 That if you are who you are –

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 A sinful creature
 And Jesus is who He is –
 The perfect, gracious God
o Then to lay hold of Him
 Is to forsake all others.
 It is to led goods and kindred go,
o Even this mortal life
 If we are called to it.
- But what Paul
o Is wanting to do
 In this letter
 Is dig down
o Past the grand
 Blunt-force
 Implications,
 And show us how
o In the quiet
 Unassuming minutiae
 Of daily life,
 Show us how
o In the mundane
 This Gospel
 Transforms
o How
we live
and act
o And
relate
to one
another
- And so

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o From the grand picture

 Of the Gospel
 That Paul paints
o In the first two chapters
 He has funneled down
 Narrowing in
 As the letter
has continued
o Showing us
 How everything
 Everything in our lives
o Must change
- All of it
o We could say
 Leading to this point,
o All of it
 Building a robust case
 For what he is about to say,
o As he turns
 To deal
 With the three
most intimate
relationships
 In our lives.

- And the reason why

o Is that what Paul will say here
 In the specific application
 To these three
o Intimate relationships

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 Is profoundly counter-
cultural.
- And really
o What Paul is about to say
 About these three relationships
 Is counter to every culture.

- These relationships
o Are ones
 In which the disruption of sin
 Is seen most acutely,
 And in particular
o In the abuse
 That can take place
within them.
- As we said last week
o It is abundantly clear
 From the first four chapters of the Bible
 That one of the fundamental
consequences of sin
o Is that it divides,
 It separates.
- Sin separates us from God
o And it separates us from one another.
 It was sin
 That caused humanity
o To be driven out
 Of the Garden of Eden
 Separated from that
intimate

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 Presence of
God
 Because of the
chasm that sin
had wrought
 Between a holy
God and a now
unholy people.
 And it was sin
 That divided
o The man from his wife
 As (you remember)
 Adam’s words
of delight and
praise at
beholding his
wife
 Turned into
accusation and
bitterness.
- It is a fundamental characteristic of sin
o That it separates.
 It divides.
- And as Paul
o Has shown us
 How the Gospel comes
 To heal that
o Division of God and man,
o Showing us in the first chapter
 How there is reconciliation
 To be found

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o In Christ,
 So that we
 Who are torn apart from God
o In our sin
 Can be so restored
 That we are called
o The children
 Of God
o Even the co-heirs with Christ
 Of every spiritual
blessing in the heavenly
places.
o So wholly
 Has that division
 Been restored in Christ
 That the cursing of God
 Has been turned
o Into the lavish grace of God
 In which we are given
every good thing that
God has to give.

- And as Paul has explained that,

o As he has reminded us
 Of the fullness of the reconciliation
 That we have with God,
 How that vertical wound has been
healed,
o He now comes
 And shows us
 How the horizontal division

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o Is also restored
 In and through the
Gospel.
- What Paul wants us to see here
o Is that the Gospel
 So restores
 Our relationships with one another
o That we are released
 From adversarial way of
trying to relate to each
other
 To relationships
that are
characterized
by peace and
joy and
harmony.
- And
o As I said
 He focuses on these
 Because
o They are the venues
 In which the separation
of sin
 Can be most
acutely evident.
- We can say
o I think
 That these relationships
 Are the closest relationships
o That we will have in life.

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- You will never be closer to someone

o As you are to your spouse.
- There is a unique bond
o Between a parent and child.
- You will,
o In all likelihood,
 Spend more time in your place of work
 Than you will any place else.
- These are the three fundamental relationships
o Of life.

- But they are also

o the relationships
 that can bear
 the deepest marks
o of the separation of sin.

- And if we just start here

o With the relationship of husband and wife,
 I think all of us
 Can immediately think
o Of how we have seen the
division of sin
 Manifest itself in our
marriages,
 Or in the marital
relationships that we
have been close to.

- It is almost unbelievable

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o Before you get married

o But husbands and wives
 Will say things
 To each other
o That we would never dream of
saying
 To anyone else.

- It is one of the ways that sin corrupts and twists:

o There is almost a sense
 In which the security of the marital relationship
 Makes it the venue
o For saying and doing
 Some of the most
hurtful things that
 That we will ever say or
do to another human
being.
- Behind closed doors
o We will speak the most hurtful
 Cutting words
 Words that we would just never dream
o Of saying to anyone else
o But we will say them
 To our husband or our wife
 To the person that we are closest to.
- There aren’t many of us who are married
o Who don’t have regret about some of the things
 We have said to our spouse
 Or how we have said those things.

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- There aren’t many of us

o Who can say
 That every word we have spoken
 To our husband or wife
o Has been focused
 On their welfare,
 That every act we have committed towards
them
 Has been unadulterated
o By pride and self-centeredness.

- Maybe more
o Than any other singular relationship
 Pride comes in
 And taints
o And corrupts and manipulates
 The relationship
 Of husband and
wife.

- We wont all be
o Guilty of outright spousal abuse.
 Hopefully, by the grace of God
 None us will be
o Guilty of outright spousal
abuse,
 But we will
 be guilty
o Of sinning
 Against your husband
and wife.

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- And while
o It is shocking –
 You should be shocked
 When you realize
o The harm you do
 When pride corrupts
that relationship,
o It’s not surprising.
 Like we have said already
 It was there
o Right in Genesis 3
 As Adam’s delight in his
wife
 Turned to anger
and
resentment,
 A pride-full
blaming of his
wife for what
was essentially
his failure to
protect her and
keep her from
harm.
- We see it also
o In the curse
 That God brings upon Eve.
 (Gen. 3: 16)
o “To the woman [God] said, ‘I
will surely multiply your pain in

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childbearing; in pain you shall

bring forth children. Your desire
shall be for your husband, and
he shall rule over you.’”
- In the midst of the Gospel
o The Good News
 That despite sin’s entry into the world
 There would be new life
o In the form of children,
o There was the curse,
 The great divisive consequence of sin
 That in the place
o Of harmony and fellowship and
joy
 There would now be an
adversarial enmity
between husband and
wife.

- Now,
o You might read that
 And ask
 “where does he get that from?
o I only see a promise that the
woman would desire her
husband –
 That’s a good thing,
right?
 I want my wife to desire
me.”

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- But what you have to understand

o Is that the word translated “desire”
 In Genesis 3: 16
 Is the same word
o That is found in Genesis ch 4
 As God warns Cain
about the dangerous
situation that his pride
has put him in.
- In Genesis 4: 7
o “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do
not do well, sin is crouching at the door. It’s desire is for
you, but you must rule over it.”
 As the footnote in your Bible
 At Genesis 3: 16 and Genesis 4: 7 might
tell you
o Its probably translated
 Its desire is against you.
- What God was saying to Eve
o In the curse
 Was that in the place
 Of peace-full, joy-full harmony
o There would be this contention
 Between her and her
husband,
- So from both sides
o The marriage relationship
 Is under attack.
o From both sides
 There is a pride-driven
 Temptation

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o To seek control of the

relationship.
 Both husband and wife
 Seeking
o An illegitimate domination
 And an enforced
submission
 Of the other
person.

- And while
o We might not all
 In the grace of God
 Know the worst manifestation of that
o In outright abuse
 And blatant hostilities,

o All of us
 I think
 Know it
o Experientially
 On one level or
another.

- And what to do about it

o Has been one of the great philosophical debates
 That has run through the ages.
 That has run from Genesis 3.
o And constrained to the world
 Of the senses
 (ch. 4)

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o Those philosophies
 Have swung wildly.
- Some cultures
o Have said
 That the husband
 Simply needs to be granted absolute
dominion
 And should relate to his wife
o As he relates to his children.
o That one of the responsibilities
of the husband is to keep his
wife in line,
 Even giving the husband permission
 To beat his wife
o As he sees fit.
o They have said
 That the husband
 Is the king within his home
o And has the right
 Even the responsibility
 To rule and
subdue his
wife.
- Other cultures
o Have yielded
 To the curse Genesis 3: 16
 And assumed a more matriarchal model
o In which the opposite has been
true

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 And the wife has been

granted dominion over
her husband.
o In some situations
 That is explicit.
o But in many others it implicit:
 The husband may still retain
 A public role as head of the home
 But functionally
 It is the wife
o Who retains the right of control
 Within the home.

- Some cultures
o Like that in first century Roman society
 (the society into which this letter was first
written)
 Had reduced marriage down
o To little more than a legal
transaction
 Designed to produce an
heir,
 In first century Roman culture
 Sexual satisfaction and intimacy
o Was not considered to be an
essential part of marriage
 But was sought in
extra-marital
relationships,
 Adulterous
relationships,

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 But also
homosexual
relationship
 With men and
young boys.

- Others still
o And this is I think
 The prevailing view in the West
o Others still
 Think that any kind of distinction
 Between husband and wife
o Should be eliminated
 And both should be
equal partners with
equal roles
 Within the
home.
o In order
 To eliminate
 The abuse of power
o That can enter into this
relationship
 Some have said
 That everything
must be divided
equally
 And that there
be no
functional
distinction

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between
husband and
wife.
o In remedy
 Of the abuse
 It has been proposed
o That a radical egalitarianism
 Should be
implemented.

- To a non-Christian world
o Confined (ch. 4)
 To the world of the senses,
 There are only so many options that are
open,
 Only so many ways
o That we can try and fix this
deep-rooted
 And long-standing
issue,
o This long-standing disruption
 Between man and
woman
 Between husband and
wife,
I. What does it say?
- But here Paul shows us another way:
o A way that is not rooted
 In what seems good and right to us
 But that is fundamentally tied

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o To the relationship that we

have with Christ.

- You remember
o In ch. 4
 When Paul had described
 The non-Christian philosophy that
surrounds the Church –
o That philosophy that is rooted
 In the senses,
 What can be
seen and heard
and tasted and
touched and
felt,
 He said
 Forcefully
o (ch. 4 v. 20)
 “But that is not the way
you learned Christ!”
- His point
o Was to give us
 A new reference point
 For how we live:
o Not what seems good and right
to us
 But our union with God
in Christ.
- What Paul was saying there
o Is as we try to figure out
 How to live in this world

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 Our starting point

o Is not our senses,
o It is our theology
 And in particular it is
our relationship to
Christ.
- And that’s exactly what he does here
o As he addresses us
 And helps us understand
 What distinctly Christian marriages look
like.

- And he says
o They look like
 The relationship
 Between Christ and His Church.

- And that is absolutely mind-blowing.

o It is absolutely paradigm-shifting
 Because it destroys our innate categories
 And presuppositions
o Of manliness and femininity
 And the relationship of
husband and wife,
 And it replaces them
 With an understanding
o Of the marital relationship
between
 That is wholly
unexpected.

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- In the place
o Of any notions
 Of manliness
 That culture comes up
o Whether it is the macho alpha-
male
 Or his polar opposite,
o Paul says, we have to understand,
 That true manliness
 Is modelled
o On the True Man.

- If you want to know

o What it looks like
 To be the man
 That God is calling you to be
o Especially in your marriages
o Then fix your eyes on Christ.

- He says look at Him

o At look at how He relates
 To His bride
 The Church.
o Now,
 Yes
 He is the “Head of the Church” –
o There is an order here in this
relationship –
 But never does Christ
use that relationship

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 To manipulate
or abuse His
Spouse.

- In fact,
o What it means
 For Christ to be
 The “Head of the Church”
o Means that He has borne the
burden of seeking her welfare.

- Instead of sitting back

o And demanding
 That His bride
 Simply serve Him
 And gratify His every whim,
o Instead of sitting back
 And placing the Church
 In a position of subjection
o In which we simply blindly obey
His every command.
- He Himself
o Has borne the cost
 Of seeking His wife’s good.
 He is the head of the Church
o But what that means
 Is that (v. 25)
 He loved the Church
and gave Himself up for
her, that he might
sanctify her, having

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cleansed her by the

washing of water with
the word, so that he
might present the
church to himself in
splendor, without spot
or wrinkle or any such
thing, that she might be
holy and without
blemish.

- Martin Luther
o Described this
 In the most beautiful way
 When he said

Christ is full of grace, life and salvation; the soul is full of sin, death and
condemnation.
Let faith step in, and then sin, death and hell will belong to
Christ,
And grace, life, and salvation to the soul.
For, if He is a Husband
He must take to Himself that which is His wife’s
And at the same time,
Impart to His wife that which is His.
For, in giving her His own body and Himself,
How can He but give her all that is His?
And, in taking to Himself the body of His wife,
How can He but take to Himself all that is hers?

- That’s what we remember

o And celebrate

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 During the Christmas Season

 Isn’t it?
o That Christ
 The bridegroom
 So loved His bride
o That he was willing to leave His
heavenly throne-room
o And made Himself nothing, and
took the form of a servant,
being born in the likeness of
men, and being found in human
form, he humbled himself by
becoming obedient to the point
of death, even death on a cross.
o For Christ
 To be the perfect Bridegroom
 The perfect husband
o To His Bride the Church,
 It meant that He was willing
 Even delighted
o To bear her shame
 Her messiness,
 Her
imperfection,
 And to do everything possible
 To beautify her,
o To dignify her,
 And make her radiant.
- That’s what it means
o To be a husband:
 Not to demand that your wife

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 Makes you look or feel great,

o But to give up everything you can
 In order to seek the welfare and holiness
 Of your wife.
o As Paul brings this Gospel
 Down to bear
 On our daily lives,
 As he brings this whole
 Grand logical argument
o To land
 In our marriages,
 He says
 This is what it means
o To be a husband,
o This is what true manliness is:
 It is a self-abasing love,
 A self-forgetful love,
 A love of radical
humility,
 That is focused on the
beautification
 And perfection
of your bride.
- Your calling husband
o Is to do anything and everything
 To nourish and cherish your wife.

- And what that means

o For how wives
 Relate to their husbands
 Is that they are called

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o Not to a blind and oppressive

subjection
 But to a loving and
joyful response.
- There is an order in this relationship –
o The husband as the head of the wife
 And the wife called to submission to her
husband –
o But if we look at the analogy here
 The service
 That a wife is called
o To render to her husband
 Is not that of always
making sure the home
is clean and tidy, that
dinner is the in oven
when the husband
comes home from
work, and that his pipe
and slippers are ready
by his easy chair.

- This isn’t a call

o To a fictional ideal:
 This is a call
 To a loving response
o On the part of wives
 To the self-sacrificial
love of their husbands.
- The Church
o Does not serve Christ

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 Out of a sense of bare and joyless duty:

 We do it
o Because we love Him
 And because we love Him
o We love to do what delights
Him.
o We don’t serve Christ
 Just because we have to
 As if our wills are constrained
o By His demands,
o We serve Him
 Because we delight
 To give Him good gifts
o In response to the love He has
shown us.
- And wives
o That is your calling here.
 This is not a call
 To be barefoot and in the kitchen,
 This is not a call
 To an oppressive understanding
o Of what it means to be a
woman.
o This is a call
 To delight in your husband.

Conc.

- How we understand
o The marriage relationship
 Is not the same

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 As the way our culture (or any culture,

for that matter) understands this
relationship.
- Now,
o Sometimes they get close.
 Sometimes we will see
 Healthy non-Christian marriages,
o In which there is love and
affection and happiness.
- But Paul is calling us here
o Not simply to happy marriages
 But to distinctly
 Christian marriages
o that are shaped and informed
by
 and which reflect the
love of Christ
 that we enjoy
 as part of His
Church.
- Marriages
o That are driven and informed
 Not by how our culture
 Understands masculinity
o Or femininity
 Or any such thing,
o But that are driven and informed
 By the Gospel,
 That these most intimate relationships
would be the first sphere in which our
love for Christ

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o Is reflected,
 And that these most intimate
relationships
o Might bear witness
 To love and joy and
freedom
 That we enjoy by our
union with Christ.

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