HEALTH • MONEY • TRAVEL • RECIPES • FASHION • TECHNOLOGY

R E A D E R ’ S
D I G E S T

AUGUST 2018
|
S M A L L

Rob
A N D

BRYDON
P E R F E C T LY

From Uncle Bryn

To Sex Symbol

Barry Cryer
I N F O R M E D

15 Anecdotes From
The Comedy Giant
|
A U G U S T

HEALTH
LIFE AFTER CANCER
THE BATTLE WE
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 p 20
ContentsAUGUST 2018

Features
16 IT’S A MANN’S WORLD
Olly Mann grapples with
his dislocated shoulder

ENTERTAINMENT
20 INTERVIEW:
ROB BRYDON
The actor opens up about a
p 82
tough period of his life and
becoming a “sex symbol”

30 “I REMEMBER”:
BARRY CRYER
The iconic comedy writer
66
p
on his childhood and career

HEALTH 80 PARIS WITH MY

38 LIFE AFTER CANCER
Why the battle doesn’t end
when you’re given the all-clear
58 HEAVEN’S DOOR
Are our close ones really
gone when they pass away?
INSPIRE
66 BEST OF BRITISH:
AT THE PARK
Take a walk through some
of Britain’s prettiest parks
GRANDMOTHER
Liam Drew discovers a new side to
his grandmother when he brings
her to Paris for the first time
TRAVEL & ADVENTURE
90 BEYOND THE BEACHES
Explore the hidden treasures
of sunny Fort Lauderdale
100 DREAM STAYCATIONS
Make the most of your summer
holiday on home turf

COVER PHOTOGRAPH © PAL H ANSEN/CONTRIBUTOR/GETTY IMAGES AUGUST 2018 • 1

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Contents
AUGUST 2018

In every issue
8 Over to You
12 See the World Differently

HEALTH
48 Advice: Susannah Hickling
52 Column: Dr Max Pemberton

INSPIRE
76 If I Ruled the World:
Jon Sopel
p 106
TRAVEL & ADVENTURE
98 My Great Escape FASHION & BEAUTY
100 Staycations: Holidaying at home 114 Column: Lisa Lennkh on
how to look your best
MONEY 116 Beauty
102 Column: Andy Webb
ENTERTAINMENT
FOOD & DRINK 118 August’s cultural highlights
106 Tasty recipes and ideas
from Rachel Walker BOOKS
122 August Fiction: James Walton’s
HOME & GARDEN recommended reads
110 Column: Cassie Pryce 127 Books That Changed My Life:
Gyles Brandreth

TECHNOLOGY
p127 128 Column: Olly Mann

FUN & GAMES

130 You Couldn’t Make It Up
133 Word Power
136 Brain Teasers
140 Laugh!
143 60-Second Stand-Up
144 Beat the Cartoonist

AUGUST 2018 • 3
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inclusive minutes from any type of line including mobile, BT or other fixed line AUGUST 2018 • 5
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 Over to You
LETTERS ON THE JUNE ISSUE

We pay £50 for Letter of the Month and £30 for all others

LETTER OF THE MONTH... Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah.

I was delighted to read in the June While I cannot claim to have received
issue of Reader’s Digest the article physical healing, to my surprise I was
about my favourite classical moved to tears of joy.
performer, the Dutch violinist, André Thank you for this inspiring article,
Leon Marie Nicholas Rieu, “I Know which has changed my life in no small
How To Melt People’s Hearts.” way. Thank you also, Mr. André Rieu.
In addition to being a musical Catherine Hiscox, Hertfordshire
genius, André seems
like a kind, caring
gentleman and a
family man—so rare in
this day and age. I
was amazed to read
that people have been
healed whilst listening
to his music. I’m in
recovery after a bad
fall, and when my
94-year-old mother,
Eleanor, was sent
home from Hospital
suddenly, with no
warning and with no
package of care, I
immediately fell over
her Zimmer Frame
and spent four hours
on my knees waiting
for an ambulance!
I decided to listen
to his rendition of

8 • AUGUST 2018
 READER’S DIGEST

I had to read your article about André Rieu, as I What a brilliant article
watched him on television last year at one of about the hugely talented
his concerts and it was an amazing electric André Rieu, “I Know How
atmosphere. The man not only has an To Melt People’s Hearts!”
admirably awesome love for music, but can set He learned to play the
the scene perfectly which makes his violin aged five. This Dutch
performances so very special. It’s a scene which violinist has captivated
takes people out of reality into a new world international audiences,
that seems like heaven on earth. bringing the glamour of
He’s a man who was brought up in a the Viennese ballroom to
household with a rather strict and not very millions across the world.
loving but encouraging father. But it seems It was fascinating to learn
that he probably set him on his career such amazing facts about
path. He could have fought against it but the King of the Waltz.
thankfully he didn’t. Finding the right wife My dream is to one day go
who complemented his abilities and has and see him and his
obviously shown him much love was multi-coloured ballgown-
also important. clad musicians! I love the
What a conductor, and a musician fact that his concerts are
who sets the scene for romance, healing, so long because he
and gives hope to many. A great example wants to give his fans
to us all. I haven’t actually been able to make it more. What a man.
to one of his concerts yet, but I do aim to book May he go on performing
one as soon as it’s possible. Thank you for until he drops.
featuring this wonderful article on him. Ginette Hughes,
Susan King, Bolton Hertfordshire

THE SWEET LIFE

I had to write to validate your “Sweet Talk” feature by Susannah Hickling.
“It [sugar] can make you feel down” pointed out that “post-menopausal
women who ate a diet high in added sugars were more likely to succumb to
depression”. This was true for me and cutting the sugar and joining a gym have
seen me go from Sweet Talk to Sweet Life. I’ve never felt
more energised. Thank you, Susannah, for a timely
article that I think many people will benefit from
if they take action now. A short and sweet
article that will have long lasting changes...
Karen Taylor, Dorset
OV E R TO YO U
THE WASTEFUL MANN
As much as I adore your magazine
and have been a subscriber for some
years, I was saddened to read Olly
Mann’s article about his love of the
wholesalers Costco.
In a society where we have far too
many choices when it comes to
food and products, not to mention
wasteful plastic packaging, how can
Mr Mann justify his statement, “there’s
just something wonderful about
purloining 500 nappies in one hit, or a
Send letters to readersletters@readersdigest.co.uk
Please include your full name, address, email and daytime phone number.
We may edit letters and use them in all print and electronic media.
10 • AUGUST 2018
year’s supply of dishwasher tablets?”
Have we really come to this? And do
we really want to follow America’s
example of excessive greed and waste?
Please, Mr Mann, find enjoyment in
simple pleasures and not bulk-buying
even if it means you’ll run out of salt—
perish the thought!
No wonder some countries despise
the British. We have so much while
they have so little yet they are
consistently happier with their lot.
How sad. Jayne Moynuex, Flintshire
NEW-FOUND NANA
I was really inspired to read the story
of Nana Mouskouri (“I Remember”—
June 2018). What an incredible lady.
From the streets of wartime Greece to
international superstar.
I remember the Nana Mouskouri
Show on TV from when I was a child,
and how my parents used to enjoy it.
I didn’t get it of course and I only really
watched it for the guests.
As a rebellious teenager it wasn’t my
kind of music at all, but there was no
escaping her talent and popularity.
I found her humility and passion
throughout the interview incredibly
inspiring and I am now looking at Nana
Mouskouri through different, wiser
eyes! Gary Godderidge, Coventry
WE WANT
TO HEAR
From You
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12 PHOTO: © GETTY IMAGES/RUTH BROWN
See the world
TURN THE PAGE…
 …differently
Although its flowers more closely resemble sea
shells, coral or even a human brain, the plant Celosia
Cristata actually owes its name to a farmyard bird!
This summer bloomer’s wavy, elongated flowers
reminded its breeder of a rooster’s crest, so he
decided to name it “cockscomb.” Originally native
to tropical America and Africa, these plants thrive in
a hot climate, but can also be grown in our part of
the world, so long as the temperature doesn’t drop
14 below five degrees.
PHOTO: © GETTY IMAGES/DAIZUOXIN 15
IT’S A MANN’S WORLD
Shrugging
The Pain Away
A recent kayaking excursion reopened some
old wounds for Olly Mann
I
have just been sea kayaking.
This would be an unlikely event
at any stage in my life, as my
track record with watersport is
woeful. (Waterskiing terrified me,
and I once went fishing but became
so bored I spent the entire time
observing the bait wriggling in
the tupperware.) It’s especially
surprising, though, because this
is the first time I’ve attempted any
shoulder-based sport since I first
dislocated my shoulder eight
years ago.
The initial dislocation was at my
friend Steve’s wedding; or, more
accurately, at the pre-wedding japes
in the Canadian Rockies (he married
a Canadian. If only he’d hooked up
Olly Mann presents
Four Thought for
BBC Radio 4, and
the award-winning
podcasts The Modern
Mann and Answer
Me This!
16 • AUGUST 2018
with his high school sweetheart from
Hitchin, my shoulder would have
been saved).
I was 29, had never been skiing,
and took the advice of my snow-
sporty mates that I should do a trial
lesson on a dry slope first, before
heading out to Lake Louise. To my
astonishment, I found the dry slope
lesson relatively easy, and didn’t fall
over once. So, when I got to Canada,
full of false confidence, I over-
enthusiastically donned my skis at
the rental centre, attempted to ski
over to where the lesson was due to
begin, lost my balance, and fell
backwards on to hard ice.
The pain was harsh, but relief
came quickly as my shoulder was
popped back in by an on-site doctor
(you’re never far from a medical
practitioner on a ski slope). But then
my arm had to sit in a sling for the
next six weeks. So, aside from the
obvious embarrassment of having
obtained a “sports injury” without
ILLUSTRATION BY HELENA P ÉREZ GARC ÍA
IT’S A MANN’S WORLD

actually attempting the sport itself, ground level, relocated my shoulder

I then had to discuss it with all the lying face down on a park bench, and
guests at Steve’s wedding, all highly continued on to the Wetherspoons.
amused by my sling. I smiled weakly The most recent dislocation, in
as I posed for numerous photos 2015, was the least remarkable: I was
recording the moment they met that running for a train after having a few
English guy who fell over and injured drinks, and managed, bizarrely, to
himself, despite having never set a fall up a staircase. But the more your
foot on the mountain. shoulder pops out, the more likely it
In the years since, my shoulder has is to happen again, and the harder it
repeatedly dislocated. Notably at my is to put back.
friend Ben’s stag do on a zip wire at A steely-eyed surgeon advised me
one of those stupid treetop that surgery would be the best
adventure parks. option. I ignored his advice, and
The first hour of swinging and chanced my arm (pun intended) on
jumping had proceeded without a regime of: a) never again doing
incident, but, as I attempted one of weird outdoorsy activities and b)
the more precarious leaps, I reached jogging, not running, for trains.
out for a net to catch myself in—and, For two years I followed my own
as my bungee rope snapped me advice, and my shoulder remained in
backwards, it pulled my arm clean place. But this summer I’ve been a
out of its socket. As I dangled 30 little more lax. I’ve risked running on
metres above the ground, blood
draining from my face and shaky
with adrenalin, I tried to slot my
shoulder back, and failed.
I did a little puke in my mouth as
I was told that there was no quick
way to get me down
from the wire: the
fastest way to find
sanctuary would be
to complete the
treetop course. I somehow then
completed six bungee jumps
in a matter of minutes,
holding my right arm
aloft with my left,
until I reached

18 • AUGUST 2018
 READER’S DIGEST

“As I dangled above the departure, a PDF of the menu at the

ground, blood draining
from my face, I tried
to slot my shoulder
back…and failed”
a cross-trainer. I’ve carried multiple
bags of heavy shopping. I’ve even
been on a rollercoaster (counter-
intuitively, so long as there are
shoulder restraints, it’s fine—it’s
actually the coasters with lap-bars
that bash your shoulders).
Then, last month, I was invited on
a long weekend to Croatia with my
wife’s friends—all of whom are
younger and sportier than me. The
whole itinerary was finalised ahead
of time (and I do mean the whole
itinerary: a fortnight before
pizza restaurant was circulated
amongst the group via WhatsApp),
and sea kayaking was the Saturday
morning activity, booked and paid
for. So, I thought, I should at least
give it a go before backing out. And
so, yesterday, I found myself
standing in my trunks on Bene
beach, with an oar in my hand,
boarding a two-person kayak with
my wife.
Coordinating our rowing
technique nearly cost us our
marriage, but I’m pleased to say my
shoulder didn’t feel remotely
vulnerable, and still remains in
place. If anything, I suspect the
rowing may have strengthened the
muscles around my shoulder. I got to
see the beautiful Marjan peninsula,
and take part in some outdoor sport
for the first time in eight years.
It’s all made me feel rather dislocated.

HITCHING A RIDE
These hilarious photos capture the moment some creative critters caught a lift

(via sadanduseless.com)

AUGUST 2018 • 19
 ENTERTAINMENT

Rob Brydon:

“People Tell
Me To Cheer Up”
BY SIMON BUTTON

HE’S BEST KNOWN AS GENIAL UNCLE

BRYN IN GAVIN & STACEY as well as for
his drolly funny trips around England and
Europe with Steve Coogan and for his
quick-witted hosting of Would I Lie To
You? But it seems Rob Brydon can now
add “sex symbol” to his CV thanks to
Swimming With Men, the British comedy
film where he spends much of his time in
just a pair of trunks

20 © PAL HANSEN/CONTRIBUTOR/GETTY IMAGES

 The genial-as-Bryn Welshman
laughs at the very idea, then
deadpans: “I think it’s the inevitable
next phase of my career. It’s a natural
progression: Uncle Bryn, The Trip,
Would I Lie To You?, then sex
symbol. You can’t stand in the way
of progress.”
In the film he plays Eric, a bored
accountant going though a mid-
life crisis who joins a group of
synchronised swimmers (played
by the likes of Jim Carter, Daniel
Mays and Rupert Graves) and
finds himself en route to the
world championship
in Milan. It’s a first-
ever leading-man
role for Rob, who
22 • AUGUST 2018
got his start in radio more than 30
years ago and has been acting since
the mid-1990s, but he’s taking it in
his stride.
“It’s pretty good,” says the 53-year-
old, speaking down the phone from
EVERETT COLLECTION IN C/ALA MY STOC K PH OTO
his home in Richmond and sounding
as laid-back as the characters he
specialises in playing. “I love
my work and I’m so lucky to
get to do what I do but it’s
not my life. I’m aware this is
the first time I’ve had top
billing in a film and it pleases
me, but that’s about it.”
He is, however,
genuinely pleased
about how
Swimming With
 Brydon
alongside Steve
Coogan in The
Trip. (Left); With
his co-stars of
Gavin & Stacey

seeing men being very vulnerable,

“It’s a natural real and honest.
“I know someone who saw it who
progression: Uncle said, ‘I expected to laugh but I didn’t
Bryn, The Trip, expect to cry’. They didn’t expect it to
be so touching and I think one of the
Would I Lie To You?, reasons it’s so touching is that you

then sex symbol ” see all these men who are all a bit
adrift, they’ve all sort of come loose
from their moorings.”
AF ARCHI VE/A LAM Y STOCK PHOTO

He chuckles. “That’s me keeping

Men has turned out. “It’s an unusual
story,” Brydon feels. “At the very least
you can’t go, ‘Oh God, not another
film about middle-aged men’s
synchronised swimming’. It’s
interesting because women in
particular seem to like the film.
Maybe there’s something about
the maritime analogies going, but
they have to lean on each other and
support each other, literally as well
as emotionally. They have to reach
out and touch each other’s bodies
and hold each other’s ankles or
wrists. I think there’s something
quite affecting about seeing that on

AUGUST 2018 • 23
P E O P L E T E L L M E TO C H E E R U P

screen. I mean, none of us look

like we could be in The Avengers
or something like that. We all look
very normal.”
When we first meet Eric he’s fed up
with his job and is drifting apart from
his wife (Jane Horrocks) whereas
Rob, who has four children and is
happily married to former TV
producer Claire Holland, is in a
much better place. “I have a very
blessed life. I have everything I want.
I have opportunities, I have a great
family, I’m pretty content I must say.
I think back to before I had my break
when I couldn’t get arrested, I just
couldn’t get anything going, but even
then I knew what I wanted to do.
I was never adrift like Eric.”
Laughing about dredging up more
nautical metaphors, he adds:
“I could see the harbour that I Brydon on Swimming
wanted to come into, I just couldn’t With Men: “I know
someone who saw it
get there.” who said, ‘I expected
Brydon’s big break was the 2000 to laugh but I didn’t
BBC comedy Marion & Geoff, prior to expect to cry’”
which he’d been a presenter for
Radio Wales and the Home Shopping
Network, did TV voice-overs and had
only secured a few minor film and
TV roles. I wonder aloud why he
didn’t give up, to which he replies, “I mean, I’d be a
“That’s an interesting question lunatic if I went
because when I wrote my
autobiography and read it back I
around going, ‘Hello!
thought, My God, how on earth did Welcome to today!’
you keep on going? But I think when
you’re the one on the journey you’re all the time ”
just looking straight ahead.

24 • AUGUST 2018
I was always thinking, It’s round the
next corner. When my dad read the
book he said, ‘I had no idea how
hard it had been for you’. It’s full of
knock-back after knock-back after
knock-back.”
The details, he adds, are in said
autobiography Small Man In A Book,
which was published in 2012. “And
you can now find it in charity shops
at a very reasonable price.”
The book also details Brydon’s
childhood as the son of a school
teacher mum and car dealer dad, his
tenure at the Welsh College of Music
& Drama, his radio and voice-over
work and how he’s never looked back
since Marion & Geoff. Gavin &
Stacey, The Trip and Would I Lie To
You? have since turned him into a
household name. “But if I’m being
entirely honest with you, more
AUGUST 2018 • 25
 XXXXX

character like Bryn

“xxx ” or I’m looking
across the deck of a
cruise ship
seeming to be very
happy with life. So
if people see me in
the street with a
normal face they’ll
say, ‘Cheer up’. I
can’t tell you how
annoying that is.”
Putting on an
exaggerated air of
With Ruth Jones
in Gavin and Stacey joie de vivre he
adds, “I mean,
I’d be a lunatic
if I went around
people probably see the adverts I do going ‘Hello! Welcome to today!’ all
than anything else,” admits the the time.”
current face of P&O Cruises. “That We’re chatting on a landline, so
said, Gavin & Stacey seems to have a I can’t see if Brydon is looking happy
very special place in people’s hearts.” but he certainly sounds it. Being at
The latter wrapped in 2010 and home is his favourite thing,
there’s been no talk of a new series, especially when it revolves around
which Rob is happy about. the kids. He has three grown-up

COLLECTI ON CHRI STOPHEL/A LAM Y STOCK PHOTO

“I think it’s kind of perfect as it is children: Katie, Harry and Amy from
and I’d much rather have people
saying, ‘I wish there was more’ as

“I love the trips

opposed to ‘It’s such a shame they
came back and did it again because
it wasn’t the same’.”
Given his quick wit, do fans expect
with Steve—they’re
him to be funny in person? “I think great fun but I’m
it’s more that they expect me to be
happy. Usually when they see me on always ready to
TV I’m either smiling and saying
‘Welcome to Would I Lie To You?’ or
come home ”
I’m playing a happy-go-lucky

26 • AUGUST 2018

Brydon married former TV producer Claire Holland in 2006
his first marriage, and he and Claire
have two sons, Tom, ten, and George,
seven. “And I love it when we’re all
together. I often have three or four
fifths of the kids together and now
and again it’s the whole pie,
although it gets harder as they get
older because they’re off doing their
own thing.”
He’s hitting the road again in
September for a stand-up tour. “And
REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
that’s not without its pleasures but
mostly I like being at home and
having a routine because usually my
life doesn’t have one. I think the
delights of gadding about are very
READER’S DIGEST
much a young man’s game and it
doesn’t work when you have young
children because they need you
around. I love the trips with Steve.
They’re great fun but I’m always
ready to come home.
“I really like being able to have a
nice breakfast, walk the boys to
school, have a chat with some of the
other parents, go to the gym, meet
friends, get out into the countryside
or at the very least sit in the garden,
then pick the boys up from school—
pretty simple stuff.”
Swimming With Men is in cinemas now
AUGUST 2018 • 27
 PARTNERSHIP
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 ENTERTAINMENT
Barry Cryer
I REMEMBER…
At 83, comedy legend Barry Cryer has been in
showbusiness for six decades. Here he looks back
on a life of love, loss and laughter
…ALWAYS WANTING COMPANY,
PEOPLE AND NOISE. It was just me
and my mother when I was growing
up in Leeds, because my dad died
when I was five, leaving me without
a father figure. I have the odd
memory, like him buying me an
Airfix model aeroplane. We
assembled it together in the front
room and when I flew it, it landed
straight in the fire. But there’s a
single photo of him in a room
upstairs and I look at it now and
think, I never knew you.
…WINING AN ACTING PRIZE FOR
PLAYING FALSTAFF IN A SCHOOL
PRODUCTION OF HENRY IV. It was
a joint award with my friend John
Gledhill, who played Hal. At the
ceremony, I took the cup, and
handed John the base. It got a big
30 • AUGUST 2018
laugh. Even then I had the instinct,
“Oh, this will be funny.” But I had no
real performing ambitions at that
time. I had a half-baked idea of
becoming a journalist, but none of
entering showbiz, even though I
loved comedians like Tommy
Handley and Max Miller.
…I WAS A UNIVERSITY DROP-OUT.
I studied English Literature at the
University of Leeds, but I was in the GERAIN T LEWIS /ALAMY STOCK P HOTO
bar chasing girls, not concentrating.
My first-year results showed it. But I
was in a student show at the old
Empire Theatre. This guy had come
from London to watch someone else
but saw me telling jokes and offered
me work. My first week as a
professional was at the Leeds City
Varieties in 1956. I’ve been back a lot
of times since, appearing in The
I REMEMBER…

Good Old Days, and this year we

recorded an edition of I’m Sorry I
Haven’t A Clue there. It’s been
refurbished and got a glass lift now. It
was a tip backstage years ago…

…LEARNING TO DIE WITH DIGNITY

(Top left); Barry AT THE WINDMILL THEATRE IN
poses in Maida
LONDON’S PICCADILLY. It was the
Vale in the
1960s, (Right); most incredible apprenticeship for
On the beach as stand-up comedy. I’d just come
a young boy.
(Left); On stage
down to London to try my luck. I
at Leeds auditioned at 10.30 in the morning,
University and was on stage by 12.15. You’d
during his
never get an audience like that
student days
anywhere else, where they would
open a newspaper when you came
on, or just watch you in silence while
they waited for the girls. Six shows a
day, six days a week. It was amazing.
I rang my mother and said, “I’m a
Windmill comedian.” She had no
idea what I was talking about. A very
unhappy Bruce Forsyth was also on

32 • AUGUST 2018

the bill. He said, “I’m packing it in.
I’ve got as far as can go, I’m opening a
tobacconist’s.” A year later I heard he
was going to be compere on Sunday
Night at the London Palladium.
I met him in the street and asked
him, “Bruce, what happened to
the tobacconist’s?” He simply
replied, “Postponed.”
…MEETING RONNIE CORBETT AND
MY FUTURE WIFE TERRY DONOVAN
ON THE SAME DAY. It was at a
rehearsal at Danny La Rue’s
nightclub not far from the Windmill.
She was a singer and dancer and I
was smitten from when I first caught
sight of her standing by a piano.
We married in 1962 and are still
together. We have four children,
seven grandchildren, and now a
great grandchild. We had a small
family do at our home the other
weekend. There were 15 people in
the room and I loved it. The laughter
and noise of your own family is a joy.
…MARRIAGE CURED MY ECZEMA.
Before Terry, eczema hospitalised me
12 times in eight years. In those days
we were caked in make-up as
performers. I thought, “I’ve had it, I’ll
concentrate on writing.”
Eczema isn’t life threatening, but
it’s extremely unpleasant and there’s
the psychological side of it too,
thinking, what do I look like? I was in
hospital one time when a guy hanged
himself in the gents. He was covered
READER’S DIGEST
in eczema. When Terry first met me,
I had dark glasses on and a coat
buttoned up to the chin. She thought,
Oh God! Who’s this one? He looks a bit
weird. But I was only in hospital with
it once more after meeting her. Not a
coincidence, I think.
…BEING A SORT OF BRIDGE
GENERATION WRITER. I was stuck
in the middle. I knew the Pythons
before they were Pythons, and all the
Goodies before they were Goodies,
and yet I had these links with variety
and the older comedy acts. I always
say Morecambe and Wise and Tommy
Cooper have lasted because they were
never topical. Even my grandchildren
have grown up with them.
…NEVER WRITING ON MY OWN.
David Frost really got me into
partnerships, after he made me a
Frost Report writer. He introduced
me to Graham Chapman and we
ended up writing about 50 shows
together, including for Ronnie
Corbett. John Cleese wrote a lot with
him too, and he’d ask, “Are you being
unfaithful to me with Baz?”
Graham was good with construction,
the plot, what happens next, whereas
I like to think I’m good with characters.
TOMMY COOPER’S ACT DIDN’T
RELATE TO REAL LIFE. And he
didn’t in person. He didn’t like
reading. He wasn’t dyslexic, but the
best thing we found was to give him
AUGUST 2018 • 33
I REMEMBER…
Barry and Terry on their wedding day. (Right); With Best Man John Harper
a simple idea and let him run with it.
Off stage, I never heard him talk about
politics or anything like that. We’d all
be sitting round the table talking, and
Tom would sulk, not being the centre
of attention. Next thing you knew, a
pack of cards would come out of his
pocket… “Pick a card.”
…FRANKIE HOWERD WAS
PAINFULLY SERIOUS. He didn’t fool
about much in company. You’d go
down the pub and come out
disappointed you hadn’t had much to
laugh about. But he was a fascinating,
intellectual man, in an era when gay
men were haunted and hunted.
Jimmy Edwards and Kenny Everett
were the same.
Frankie’s ambition was to act but
34 • AUGUST 2018
he failed RADA and thought he’d be
a comic instead. His bête noire was
Larry Grayson who did a routine with
a pianist, like he’d already done.
When Bruce Forsyth left The
Generation Game, Frankie offered to
audition as his replacement. Who got
the job? Larry Grayson.
We were having lunch one day and,
for some foolish reason I mentioned
Larry. Frankie shouted, “That man
stole my act!” his voice getting louder
and louder, as everyone turned round
to look at us. An embarrassing moment.
…MEETING HUMPHREY LYTTLELTON
YEARS BEFORE I’M SORRY I
HAVEN’T A CLUE. I was singing
outside Leeds Town Hall with the
University jazz band. I was a huge

jazz fan. He was in town to do a show
there that night. He came over and
said, “I heard you earlier.” I preened
myself. Then he said, “It wasn’t
difficult. You’re quite loud.”
…I STARTED OFF IN I’M SORRY I
HAVEN’T A CLUE AS CHAIRMAN.
I wasn’t on the original panel but
John Cleese and Bill Oddie left
because they were unhappy about
the show being unscripted, so
William Rushton and I were brought
in. The 46th series is about to go on
air. When Humph died, we all said,
“Never again,” but after a year off, the
BBC brought us back.
Our chairman Jack Dee is very
modest and says, “I can’t fill
Humph’s shoes.” Well, there’s only
one Humph, but Jack has made a
pretty good follow up.
…GOING BACK TO DOING LIVE
SHOWS IN THE EARLY 1990S
reminded me of my days as a warm
up act. I worked for everyone from
Noël Coward and Tom Jones, to
Monty Python’s Flying Circus. I
surprise people by telling them I’m
not a comedian. But I’ve spent my
life working with comedians and I
know what I’m talking about.
The people I’ve worked with, like
Max Miller, Frankie Howerd, Tommy
Cooper and Morecambe and Wise
had something of their own, they
were originals. I love making people
laugh but I also tell stories and sing
READER’S DIGEST
“I surprise people by
telling them that I’m
not a comedian…
but I know what
I’m talking about”
songs. I’m happy to be described as
an entertainer, or raconteur.
…KEN DODD TELLING ME I’D
CORNERED THE MARKET IN
OBITUARIES. It was at a British
Music Hall Society dinner when
Doddy was the speaker, and he
looked over and addressed the
remark towards me in a joking tone.
It’s true, I do get asked a lot to
contribute my memories of deceased
comedians, but my memory is not
infallible. Philip Porter has produced
this marvellous book, The Barry
Cryer Comedy Scrapbook which
reminds me of things that happened
in my life, and people I’ve met, that
I’d forgotten about.
…THE QUEEN TOLD ME TO KEEP IT
UP. I thought, “oo-er, missus, this is
like a Carry On film.” I was one of
about 100 people at the Palace to
receive my OBE.
They were handing her bits of
paper as we went forward. She said,
“Still writing?” I’m not sure she really
knew who I was. But I do have every
AUGUST 2018 • 35
I REMEMBER…

Barry posing with his wife Terry. They’ve been married for 56 years

intention of keeping it up. I’m still
in I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue, I do the
gigs and I appear at the Edinburgh
Festival each year. I’m a survivor.
Young comics say to me, “You tell
jokes!” as if I’ve invented some
radical new genre. So I’ve got my
niche now. I’m the old man who
tells jokes.
As told to Jack Watkins
For details of Barry Cryer’s upcoming
shows visit barrycryer.co.uk. The Barry Cryer
Scrapbook is published by Porter PressEND

LET THAT SINK IN…

These facts are so amazing, it might take a second to fully appreciate them

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restoration were the Ancient Egyptians themselves, 1,000 years after it was built

An iPhone is more powerful than every computer that NASA had during the
first lunar landing in 1969

36 • AUGUST 2018 READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/C U LT U RE /C E L E B RI T I E S

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 HEALTH & ADVENTURE

The lingering mental health

ramifications after cancer is cured

Life After
CANCER BY FIO NA TH O M AS

THE DESIGNATED WAITING ROOM WAS

MORE OF A CORRIDOR REALLY, an
allocated space which felt like a last-minute
solution to one of a thousand problems in a
hospital which clearly hadn’t been built to
manage the sheer volume of people
coming through its doors

38 • AUGUST 2018
HEALTH

39
LIFE AFTER CANCER
I sat with my grandad—Papa
Frank to us—as he nervously waited
for the routine checkup that he
dutifully attended every six months,
an NHS requirement since he’d
been given the all clear following
two years of treatment for non-
Hodgkin lymphoma.
Always the clown, he cracked
jokes with the nurses who passed
by and gave a familiar wave to the
doctors who all knew him by name.
They all remembered him clearly
because of his sarcastic comments
and quick one-liners, a quality which
he’s still famous for even though it
regularly gets him in hot water with
his long-suffering wife. Even though
his attitude seemed light-hearted to
others, I could tell that the pain of
dealing with cancer at the age of 80
had taken its toll, and this was simply
his way of coping with a stressful
situation. I held my breath as he was
taken into the examination room and
didn’t fully relax until we both left
the hospital with another thumbs up
from the specialist.
According to Cancer Research
(Below); Annie Belasco at
the Tickled Pink Ball in
2017. (Left); her book,
Love & Remission

UK, the country saw 13,700 new cases
of non-Hodgkin lymphoma in 2015
alone, not to mention the 30 other
types of cancer cited on their website.
Breast cancer is the most common
form in the UK with over 54,000 new
cases a year, meaning that one in
eight women will be diagnosed with
the condition in their lifetime. Men
are most at risk of prostate cancer and
there are over 47,000 new diagnoses
every year, a number which has been
steadily increasing since the 1990s.
Charities such as Cancer Research
I EXPECTED TO BE ELATED WHEN
I FINISHED TREATMENT, BUT IT
WAS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE
are dedicated to raising money and
in the past year they have spent £38m
on drug trials. Depending on the type
of cancer, survival rates can range
between one and 98 per cent, but
overall death rates are predicted to
fall by 15 per cent by the year 2035
thanks to continued research and
scientific studies.
A cancer diagnosis is no longer a
certified death sentence—the NHS
is preparing for new T-cell therapy
which is said to put some incurable
cancer patients into remission—
but can instead be considered a
minor health “blip” which can be
READER’S DIGEST
treated. Patients are given options,
an action plan, a strategy drawn up
by experienced practitioners who
successfully cure the conditions
everyday. Many people are
diagnosed, offered a short course
of treatment, given the all clear and
told to get on with life. But it’s not
that easy. Life after cancer is a
whole new world.
ANNIE BELASCO IS THE 34-YEAR-
OLD AUTHOR of Love and
Remission). She was diagnosed in
2009 when she found a lump in her
breast. It turned out to be grade three,
fast-growing type of breast cancer
which had spread to all but one of her
lymph nodes. She was given extensive
medical attention which included a
single mastectomy, chemotherapy,
radiotherapy, reconstructive surgery,
IVF preservation and Herceptin
treatment. Although Annie describes
the process as “gruelling” she had
no time to reflect on the enormity of
the events and says she generally felt
quite optimistic throughout.
“I had my mind occupied by
appointments, medical decisions to
AUGUST 2018 • 41
LIFE AFTER CANCER
make and always had something to
look forward to,” she told me. “I saw
my treatment as positive and agreed
to everything that was suggested to
me in terms of curing my cancer, and
prevention of it returning.
I cooperated with everything and
enjoyed time in the hospital, at the
doctor’s and with my physiotherapist
—I felt looked after.”
Once Annie was given the all clear
and declared physically well, her
mental health started to crumble. The
sense of relief Annie felt as a result
I KEPT THINKING THAT I SHOULD
BE COUNTING MY LUCKY STARS,
NOT THINKING DARK THOUGHTS
of the much-anticipated good news
was short lived, and the feeling of
happiness which she expected never
really came.
“I kept thinking that I should be
thanking my lucky stars, not thinking
dark thoughts,” Annie remarked.
“I had no more appointments or
operations or procedures and this
made me feel insecure and unsure of
my destiny ahead.” Annie went onto
experience a slew of mental health
issues including crippling anxiety,
depression, panic attacks and a fear
of answering the phone. During a
routine checkup her surgeon found
42 • AUGUST 2018
another lump (which later turned out
to be benign) and this triggered a full
nervous breakdown. Only then, two
years after the initial diagnosis, was
her mental health properly addressed.
IT TURNS OUT THAT THIS STORY
ISN’T UNUSUAL. Barbara Wilson,
founder and director of Working
With Cancer—a social enterprise
helping people affected by cancer
return to work—sees this direct
link between cancer and mental
illness on a regular basis. She cites
low mood, depression, fear and low
self-esteem as the most common
issues seen in cancer patients and
says that it isn’t always detected
early on. “Sometimes this begins
at the point of diagnosis,” Barbara
says, “sometimes after treatment and
sometimes months or years later.”
This mental condition is often
a response to the challenge of
learning to cope with the physical
side effects as a result of treatment
such as hair loss, incontinence
and erectile dysfunction. Patients
with cancer (particularly urological
cancers) are statistically more
 READER’S DIGEST

likely to die by suicide. Sometimes A recent survey conducted by

anxiety around the recurrence of mental health charity Mind reported
cancer can be triggered by aches and that 82 per cent of practice nurses
pains as well as hospital checkups. feel ill-equipped to deal with aspects
This was certainly true for 42-year- of mental health for which they’re
old mother and nursing student responsible, and 42 per cent of
Deborah Murphy, who says her post- practice nurses have had no mental
cancer experience was “absolutely health training at all. Barbara from
shocking”. Upon being given the all
clear after breast cancer, she felt
angry at the nurse who delivered the
news saying, “I wanted to scream
down the phone at her.”
“I expected to be elated when
I finished treatment, but it was
the complete opposite,” Deborah
told me. “Too scared to live. Too
frightened to make any plans for the
future. Every ache and pain I had,
I convinced myself my cancer had
come back and spread.”

Deborah Murphey
poses with her son
ALL CLEAR
Working with Cancer told me that the
“psychological and emotional impact
of cancer is often not mentioned let
alone discussed during treatment,
and people may believe they are
going mad when actually what they’re
experiencing is normal.”
It’s no surprise then, that people
like Deborah and Annie found little
or no mental health support on offer
during their cancer treatment. In
many cases patients are forced to
rely on their family emotionally in
lieu of professional care and Annie
states that her mental health was
barely spoken about during her
appointments. “I was offered time to
think but not time to talk. My mind
44 • AUGUST 2018
was not considered or even explored.
No options, services or choices were
offered to me.”
THERE IS EFFECTIVE CARE
AVAILABLE, EVEN IF THOSE
affected have to work extra hard to
seek it out. Barbara from Working
with Cancer says that coaching,
therapeutic counselling, CBT
(Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and
peer support groups can be effective.
Emily Hodge—a health psychology
specialist who has supported
hundreds of cancer survivors
through her coaching programmes—
says open and honest dialogue
around the patient’s feelings should
 READER’S DIGEST

cancer is significantly different to the

life before, and even if recovery had
been medically achieved the story
doesn’t end there. For those affected
—like my very own Papa Fran —the
physical pain may have been dealt
with but the mental anguish lingers
long after the final hospital visit.

Useful information:
Counselling is available via the NHS
although waiting times vary.
You can also phone the Macmillan
Support Line for free on
0808 808 00 00 (Monday - Friday, 9am
- 8pm). The service is staffed by trained
experts, offers people with cancer and
their loved ones practical, clinical,
financial and emotional support.

be a top priority, and that a sugar- n Working

with Cancer
workingwithcancer.co.uk
coated “be positive” attitude is rarely
helpful. “Everyone is different but as n Love
and Remission: My Life, My Man,
long as the person is able to do what My Cancer by Annie Belasco
they want, and not have another amazon.co.uk/Love-Remission-Life-
person’s version of recovery put onto Cancer-Inspirational/dp/1911246739
them then this is important.”
It’s not until the recovery phase n Deborah’s
blog
that there is enough time and space adventuresofasingleparentblogblog.
wordpress.com
to reflect. “When you’re technically
better and it’s over,” says Emily, “only n Emily
Hodge coaching services
then do you have time to sit back and coachingemily.com
think about what’s just happened
and plan ahead.” Just because cancer n NHS Counselling
can be managed and often cured, nhs.co.uk/conditions/counselling
this doesn’t negate the long-lasting
mental implications. There’s no n CancerResearch UK
cancerresearchUK.org
getting around the fact that life after

AUGUST 2018 • 45
Pension advice in divorce:
what you need to know
In divorce, pensions can be the biggest asset after the
family home and as they can be split in different ways
it is important to understand the options available to
you. Guy Myles answers these key questions.
What is a pension sharing order?
A pension sharing order is one of the
options available in divorce/dissolution of
a civil partnership. It provides a clean break
between parties as the pension assets are
split immediately. This means that each
party can decide what to do with their
share independently. The courts confirm
this via a pension sharing order document.
Does it apply to my state pension - can
we split the basic state pension in
divorce?
No, but you could claim the basic state
pension using your former partner’s state
record. However, getting remarried negates
this option. Both you and your ex must be
over the state pension age before you can
claim (given you have not remarried).
Guy Myles is CEO of
pension and investment
firm Flying Colours. If you
have a question for Guy
on dealing with divorce
email pensionsguy@
flyingcolourswealth.com
Am I restricted by provider? Or can I
place my share with another pension
provider?
In most cases, you will have the option
to transfer out of the scheme and place
it with any provider. In some instances,
schemes may have restrictions where you
are unable to transfer out, and it must
remain with them.
What other areas need to be ad-
dressed in divorce?
• Updating your will: This needs to be
updated after a divorce to ensure the
ex-spouse is no longer a beneficiary of
your estate.
• Updating or renewing your life insurance:
The existing plans need to be reviewed
so your ex-spouse doesn’t receive the
proceeds.
• Investing the proceeds from your
divorce: Proceeds should be invested
according to objectives, attitude to risk,
retirement planning etc.
Is there likely to be an impact on my what she will be entitled to at retirement.
retirement age and income? How will As she will be relying on her income
they be affected? alone, Mary has decided to retire a little
Plans and funds previously accumulated later than originally planned. Working
on a joint basis are now split, therefore, toward her plan has given Mary a sense
planning for retirement is vital to of direction and reassurance that she
re-evaluate and to ensure a solid plan knows what her future holds. n
is in place.
FOR MORE INFORMATION
Mary, 58 was granted a 25% pension Divorce affects many people and as
sharing order in relation to her ex- well as the emotional upheaval it can
husband’s pension. She didn’t know what leave people financially vulnerable at
her options were or what effect it would what is already a difficult time. You can
have on her retirement plans. She wanted download the Flying Colours brochure
to maintain a sense of control; option to on financial advice in divorce at www.
make future contributions, how much flyingcolourswealth.com/divorce or
pension to take and when. As a member speak to an advisor on 0333 241 9919.
of her current employer’s scheme
she wondered if the pension
share could be invested
here. Mary met with a
financial adviser, who
provided a full review
of her options and
helped her plan for
retirement; assessing
all assets, existing
employer pension and
explained why some
options were not available
or appropriate: the pension
share could not be invested with
her existing company pension as the
scheme rules didn’t allow this.
Mary now has a pension in her own right
with the flexibility to make additional
contributions, draw benefits as and when This content is sponsored by
she wants and a full understanding of Flying Colours Finance Ltd
Live Every Day Like
It’s A Holiday
Are holidays the only time you unwind? Here’s why you
should adopt that getaway mindset every day
W
e feel great on holiday
because we let go of
everyday stresses and
strains. Research has even shown
that vacations help health and well-
being. So whether or not you’re
going away this summer, there’s
plenty you can do to make sure you
benefit from that holiday feeling.
SLEEP LIKE A HOLIDAYMAKER
Sleep like a baby when you’re on
your holidays but stay awake fretting
when you’re in your usual routine?
If so, you might need to examine
your sleep habits. Sleep deprivation
affects our ability to control emotions,
make decisions, concentrate and
deal with stress.
To reset your sleep pattern, avoid
bringing problems to bed. That
Susannah Hickling
is twice winner of
the Guild of
Health Writers Best
Consumer Magazine
Health Feature
48 • AUGUST 2018
includes your phone, TV or laptop.
Turn the clock round so it can’t
stress you out and make sure the
room is dark and cool. Aim for at
least seven hours’ ZZZs—just as you
would on holiday.
GET MOVING
When you’re travelling, you walk
around new cities without a second
thought. Given that exercise is cheap,
healthy and reduces stress, it makes
absolute sense to build it into your
day. A brisk walk will release happy
hormones, such as adrenaline and
serotonin, and eases anxiety and
mild depression.
Start with just 15 minutes of
exercise a day. Cycle to work or pull
out the treadmill you stuffed in the
spare room and walk while you
watch the telly.
MAKE YOUR MEALS
A CELEBRATION
Part of the joy of going away is
lingering over delicious food with
people who are dear to you. Ditch

that tendency to gulp your food
down on the go and take up the
holiday habit of sitting down as a
family for at least one meal a day
(no technology allowed). Families
who eat together experience less
anxiety, less depression and less
obesity, research has found.
CARVE OUT SOME
DEDICATED QUIET TIME
That moment when you lie back on
your beach towel with the sand
between your toes, the sun on your
face and you sigh with pleasure…
Wouldn’t it be nice to have that
“ahh” feeling every day?
It’s far from impossible, you’ll be
pleased to know, so long as you
make time to take a break from the
hurly burly of today’s world and
HEALTH
calm your mind and body. Do
anything that makes you feel better.
It could be a long bath, a massage, a
nice cup of tea with a friend. Just
make sure you schedule it into your
day or week.
BE A TOURIST IN
YOUR OWN TOWN
Part of the thrill of a holiday is the
novelty of discovering a new place
and doing new things. You eat at
fancy restaurants, sign up for bike
tours, have a go at surfing.
But it’s also easy to be a
holidaymaker in the place you
inhabit. At weekends, check out a
new music venue, go for a ramble
on a route you don’t know, visit a
different museum or have a drink in
that interesting-looking pub you’re
always walking past. It will get you
out of a rut and make you feel alive.
A bit like a holiday, really.
49
H E A LT H
Adult Acne –
True Or False?
It’s likely you’ve heard numerous
claims about adult acne but
how many of them are true?
Only teenagers get acne. FALSE
Unfortunately, it’s possible to have
wrinkles and pimples at the same
time, even if you didn’t have them as
an adolescent. Acne in adulthood is
more common in women, largely
because of hormone fluctuations.
You should treat adult acne just as
you would the teenage variety.
FALSE Mature skin is less oily and
may heal more slowly, so over-the-
counter treatments that are aimed at
the adolescent market might be too
drying. First off, keep your skin clean
with a gentle cleansing regimen but
don’t overdo it. Your doctor will be
able to advise on the most suitable
treatment for you. Anti-acne creams
that contain benzoyl peroxide, alpha
hydroxy acids, salicylic acid,
retinoids or tea tree oil can help.
Antibiotic creams tend to be more
effective than antibiotic pills, which
can lead to antibiotic resistance. Be
50 • AUGUST 2018
patient—banishing zits can take
several months.
Too much chocolate causes spots.
FALSE This is one of the many myths
that swirl around acne. While it always
helps to eat healthily, neither a few
squares of Dairy Milk nor fatty
takeaways are to blame for your skin
blemishes. And while we’re on the
subject, dirty skin and too much sex
don’t give you spots either.
Sunlight doesn’t blitz the zits. TRUE
There’s no evidence that sunbathing,
sunlamps or sunbeds help. They
might even do harm if you’re taking
spot medication, as it can sometimes
make your skin more sensitive to light.
Smoking can cause outbreaks. TRUE
There are so many reasons not to
smoke, and here’s one more. It’s not
clear how puffing can lead to pimples,
but it’s certainly bad for the skin.
 Sir Muir Gray

Ask The Expert

Professor Sir Muir Gray, 74, helped pioneer health screening
programmes and for many years has had an interest in ageing well.
His books include Sod 70! and Sod Sitting, Get Moving!

How did you become an expert in recently as being particularly

healthy ageing?
About 47 years ago when I started
working in public health, we identified
population ageing as a key social
trend. Since then I’ve being studying it
and doing practical things to help
people adapt as their age increases.
How important is it to maintain
health and fitness as we age?
Every year after about age 40, people
need to become more active. And with
every diagnosis you need to do more.
If you get Type 2 diabetes, for
example, you need to increase your
activity and then if a year later you
also have arthritis, you need to
increase activity again.
What are the most important things
we can do to remain in good mental
and physical health?
The one that’s only been recognised
important is activity—physical, mental
and social. For physical activity, the
key is to increase strength, stamina,
suppleness and skill.
What should people not do?
They should not accept ageing as
being a cause of problems until their
nineties! What causes problems are
disease and negative attitude.
What quick tips can you offer to
improve health and fitness?
Ten minutes a day of brisk walking is
wonderful for stamina. Then do ten
minutes of exercise for strength and
skill. That might involve a resistance
band or lying on the floor to stretch
your spine. Yoga and pilates are very
good for suppleness. But the most
important thing is to be positive.
Visit bettervaluehealthcare.net for more

AUGUST 2018 • 51
 HEALTH
Fake It ‘Till
You Make It
A questionable beauty decision offers Dr Max an
unexpected insight into the lives of his patients…
P
eople are definitely staring at
me. In fact, I think the women
over there are laughing at me.
I work in mental health and paranoia
is by far the most common symptom
when my patients become unwell.
I now know how they feel. But the
thing is, I’m not being paranoid,
everyone really is staring at me.
Vanity and paranoia are closely
linked. Vanity is wanting everyone
to look at you, while paranoia is being
convinced they actually are. I’m not
usually vain, but even us doctors like
to look good once in a while.
Having worked for months without
a proper break, I had a holiday
booked. I could barely control my
excitement and decided to celebrate
Max is a hospital doctor,
author and columnist. He
currently works full time
in mental health for the
NHS. His latest book is a
self-help guide to using
CBT to stop smoking
52 • AUGUST 2018
in style. I was going to look brilliant.
Well, that was the plan.
I’ve always been pasty-pale and as
I’ve spent so long cooped up inside
a hospital, away from even a glimmer
of natural light, it’s now possible to
get snow-blindness from my skin
tone. So in a moment of pure vanity
(tinged with madness), I decided
to book a fake tan. How very 21st-
century-man of me, I thought, smugly
imagining a healthy all-over glow
of sun-kissed brown as I sat on the
beach. And that was how I found
myself standing in a cubicle with
a woman called Sharon, being spray-
painted orange.
I stood shivering in a postage-
stamp sized bit of cloth which left
so little to the imagination as to be
hardly worth the effort of squeezing
into it, pretending that this was all
very macho, as Sharon studied my
inner thigh for streak marks. This
humiliation over, I then faced the
worst yet: the bus ride home. It’s

hard to say exactly what colour I was.
I gave off an odd, radiation-sickness,
day-glo orange hue. While I was
going for the Hollywood look, I was
looking more like the genie from
Aladdin’s lamp in an amateur
dramatics production. And as I got
on the bus, I began to sweat… As the
beads of perspiration made their way
down my forehead, they left behind
neat little lines showing the pasty-
pale skin underneath. That was when
people began staring.
A small child gazed at me. “Don’t
stare at the man”, his mother chastised.
“It’s not nice”. I also realised I had the
Midas touch. Although, rather than
turning things gold, they became
muddy-brown. A woman in
a white blouse moved towards me.
READER’S DIGEST
“Don’t touch me!” I said,
attempting to make it sound like a
perfectly normal request. She looked
at me with a faint air of panic and
moved to the other end of the bus.
The next day, on the ward, I walk
into the lounge. A group of patients
were staring at me. “Hi, Max”
chirped one of the patients.
“What? What?” I asked in an
increasingly maniacal pitch. “Why
are you all staring at me?”
“We’re not” replied another. I got
a grip of myself: of course they
weren’t staring at me. I turned and
walked out of the room, just in time
to overhear someone say, “I think
he’s going mad,” and someone else
reply “and why’s he turned orange?”
I knew I wasn’t being paranoid.
AUGUST 2018 • 53
 HEALTH
The Doctor Is In
Dr Max Pemberton
Q: I find myself forgetting things
more and more often as I get older
and I’m scared this could be an
early sign of serious problems
down the road. What can I do to
improve my memory?
- Jeremy, 47, Rotherham
A: It sounds like you’re worried your
increased forgetting is a sign of
dementia. Dementia is an umbrella
term for a number of conditions that
affect memory. Conditions like early-
onset Alzheimer’s or Huntington’s
disease can affect people your age,
but they’re rare and you’d have to
have a significant family history as
they have a strong genetic component.
Assuming there’s no family history,
then at your age, the chance that
this is the start of dementia is
very small. People have
difficulties with their memory
for lots of reasons. Stress and
depression can affect our
memory. Addressing this can
often improve memories on
its own. Having hectic lives
means we often don’t pay
attention to things which
would help us remember
54 • AUGUST 2018
them. People often find their memory
improves when they take up
relaxation techniques or mindfulness.
It’s also normal to forget more as
we get older because we have more to
remember. Think of it this way: in our
forties we have twice as many
memories as when we were 20. People
expect a lot from their memory—often
too much. Rely on your memory less
for important things. Write lists, keep
a diary for important dates and set
reminders. There’s no consensus on
whether “brain training” games can
stave off dementia, but they can help
improve memory in general.
There are also various books which
have techniques and tips for using
your memory more effectively. How
To Remember Everything by
Richard Wiseman is good.
Check out our own memory
I LLUSTRATION BY JAVIER M UÑOZ
expert, Jonathan Hancock,
on page 56, for more advice
for improving your memory.
Got a health question for
our resident doctor? Email it
confidentially to askdrmax@
readersdigest.co.uk
 HEALTH

A Story To Remember
Our memory expert Jonathan Hancock explains how stories boost your
chances of remembering as well as providing exercise for your brain

P
oliticians pepper their
speeches with stories to
interest, engage—and,
crucially, to make sure we
remember. Good teachers will often
invent a story to help students learn
an important list. Read a familiar book
to a child and you’ll see how adept
even very young brains are at
retaining huge amounts of
information through the steps of a
story. We were using stories to
remember vital advice and pass
on treasured cultural
knowledge long before
anything was written down.
Stories can provide our
memory with all the
structure, imagery, sensory
stimulation and emotional engagement
it needs to work wonders.
For example, the colours of the
Olympic rings are: BLUE, YELLOW,
BLACK, GREEN and RED. To learn
them in the right order, you could
make an imaginary visit to the
Olympic stadium, and “see”…a huge
whale (blue) sitting in the stands,
peeling a banana (yellow), only to find
coal inside (black), which it discards
under a nearby Christmas tree
(green)—from behind which Santa
Claus appears (red).
Look for ways to invent
simple, striking stories to
remember shopping lists,
things to pack, people to
visit, jobs, facts or ideas.

THE CHALLENGE: TO MEMORISE ALL 14 OF SHAKESPEARE’S COMEDIES:

All’s Well That Ends Well; As You Like It; The Comedy of Errors; Love’s
Labour’s Lost; Measure for Measure; The Merchant of Venice; The Merry
Wives of Windsor; A Midsummer Night’s Dream; Much Ado About Nothing;
The Taming of the Shrew; The Tempest; Twelfth Night; The Two Gentlemen
of Verona; The Winter’s Tale

The technique: choose a key word from each play’s name, then invent a story to
link these 14 words, one after the next, in a vivid, memorable way.

The test: use your story to recover the keywords, each of which should trigger
the name of a play. Then push your brain to get even fitter: see how quickly you
can go back through the story and reel off the whole list—entirely from memory.

56 • AUGUST
JULY 2018
2018
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I had no idea there was this kept-hidden
world all around me

Opening
Heaven’s
Door
FROM THE BOOK OPENING HEAVEN’S DOOR. PH OTO: © A FRI CA STUDI O/SHU TTE RSTOCK
BY PAT R I CIA P E ARS O N

M
Y FATHER DIED UNEXPECTEDLY OF
cardiac arrest in his bed in the spring of
2008. He was 80. The next day, we all got
the phone call. But my sister Katharine, 100 miles away
in Montreal, Canada, received her message differently.
“It was about 4:30am,” she said at his funeral,
“and I couldn’t sleep, as usual, when all of a sudden
I began having this amazing experience. For the
next two hours I felt nothing but joy and healing.”
INSPIRE

59
O P E N I N G H E AV E N ’ S D O O R

She sensed a presence in her

bedroom. “I felt hands on my head,
and experienced vision after vision
of a happy future.” Unaware that our
father had died the night before, she
described her experience to her elder
son the next morning, and wrote
about it in her diary.
We were in shock. Had Katharine
had a vision? My sister wasn’t prone
to spiritual experiences. Stress she
was familiar with, as the mother
of two teenagers. Laughter she
loved. Fitness of any kind. Fantastic
intellect, fluent in three languages.
But she hadn’t been paying much
attention, in essence, to God.
Later, I would learn that this sort
of experience when someone has
died is startlingly common. Families
shelter their knowledge like a
delicate heirloom. At the time, I only
understood what a gift this was for
Katharine, who was about to face her
own death, from breast cancer.
Just two months after Dad died, panoply of expressions played
Katharine was moved to a hospice. In across her face—puzzled, amused,
her final ten days, she spoke little, yet sceptical, surprised, calmed—like a
seemed profoundly content. spectator in a planetarium.
“Wow, that was strange,” she The sister with whom I’d shared
remarked once upon waking up, her every secret couldn’t translate this
expression one of smiling delight. for me.
“I dreamed I was being smooshed in “It’s so interesting,” she began one
flowers.” She looked gorgeous, as if morning, and then couldn’t find the
she were lit from within. Sometimes language. Forty-eight hours before
she would have happy whispered she died, she told us, “I am leaving.”
conversations with a person I She left in silence and candlelight,
couldn’t see. At other times, she while I lay with my cheek on her
would stare at the ceiling as a full chest and my hand on her heart.

60 • AUGUST 2018
 “That autumn and summer, people came
out of the woodwork to tell me their tales”
WHY HAD MY sister had a powerful
spiritual experience in the hour of
PHOTO: © S HUTTERSTOC K
my father’s unexpected death? Why
did she become increasingly joyful
in her dying experience? What would
she have told me if she could?
That summer and autumn, people
came out of the woodwork to tell me
their tales. Some were friends and
colleagues, others were strangers
sitting beside me on a flight. If I told
them about my father and sister,
they reciprocated. Almost invariably,
they prefaced their remarks by
saying, “I’ve never told anyone
this, but…” or, “We’ve only ever
discussed this in our family...” Then
they offered extraordinary stories—
AUGUST 2018 • 61
O P E N I N G H E AV E N ’ S D O O R
deathbed visions, sensed presences,
near-death experiences, sudden
intimations of a loved one in danger.
“Often we are held
back from embracing
the comfort and
reassurance of spirits”
A friend, the director of a large
music company, told me that, as a
boy, he had come down to breakfast
and seen his father, as always, at the
kitchen table. Then his mother broke
the news that his father had died in
the night. He briefly wondered if she’d
gone insane. “He’s sitting right there,”
he told her. It was the most baffling
and unsettling moment of his life.
I had no idea there was this
kept-hidden world all around me.
I wanted to understand what we
knew about these mysterious modes
of awareness. For four years, as a
journalist, I pursued the questions.
A 2014 STUDY by The Palliative Care
Institute and Hospice Buffalo in
upstate New York found that 60 per
cent of their dying patients, over an
18-month period, had comforting
visions and dreams of living or
deceased family members in the
lead-up to their own deaths.
There is pain in loss, and then
there is further pain in the silence
62 • AUGUST 2018
borne by fear of being dismissed.
Tell someone about it and the
explanations come: Hallucination.
Wishful thinking. Coincidence.
I attended a Christmas party with
old university friends, and caught
up with a man who works for a
bank. I told him some of what had
transpired with Katharine. He said
gently: “I don’t mean to be unkind,
but it’s very likely that she was
imagining these things.” Why did he
feel he could speak with authority
about what the dying see?
SPIRITUALITY USED TO be considered
an ordinary part of the human
experience, but now it qualifies as
an extraordinary state requiring
extraordinary evidence. Why should
this be? It has to do with the rise
of scientism, a school of thought
that believes anything that eludes
scientific measurement cannot exist.
For my Irish and Scottish Highland
ancestors, an extraordinary way
of knowing things was always
embedded comfortably within their
culture. One summer afternoon, my
elder aunts and cousins, women
in their eighties and nineties, all
gathered around the dining table
at our summer cabin on Ontario
Canada’s Stoney Lake.
Here, my grandmother had painted
a saying on the wall: “Fra ghosties and
ghoulies and long-leggedy beasties,
and things that go bump in the night:
the guid lord deliver us.” A playful
nod to our witchy Celtic ancestresses.
But now we had come to talk of such
things seriously for the first time over
our lunch.
We spoke of how great-
grandmother Maude had absolute
confidence in her way of knowing
things; how, when my grandfather
telephoned his mother to report
her husband’s fatal heart attack
on his sailboat, Maude replied
disconsolately: “I know.”
My Aunt Bea recalled, “Granny
would be in the living room reading
a book, and she’d suddenly slam
it down and mutter, ‘Damn! So-
and-so is coming and I don’t want
to see them.’ Sure enough,” Aunt Bea
said, “so-and-so would show up ten
minutes later.” The Norwegians have
a word for this uncanny anticipation
of visitors: vardoger.
Our Highland ancestors called
the perception of a person’s double
“second sight.” Cousin Marion
offered that she had been working
at a resort in Banff, Alberta, as a
teenager when the hotel caught fire,
prompting her mother in Montreal
to wake in distress and call her. And
my mother, the uber-rationalist,
conceded she awoke suddenly one
morning in her university dorm and
phoned my grandmother, whom
she somehow knew to be in crisis.
Granny was; her dearest friend had
died that night.
Each experience was different,
but all were ways of knowing, and
they tilted the world on its axis for
a moment. Why hadn’t we talked of
them before?
CAMBRIDGE PHYSICIST and Nobel
Prize winner Brian D Josephson told
the New York Times in 2003: “There’s
really strong pressure not to allow
these things to be talked about in a
positive way.”
Harold Puthoff, a physicist at
AUGUST 2018 • 63
O P E N I N G H E AV E N ’ S D O O R
the Stanford Research Institute
appointed to oversee the CIA’s
remote viewing (or clairvoyant)
experiments in the 1970s and
1980s, described this pressure in
conversations with psychoanalyst
Elizabeth Lloyd Mayer, as reported
in her book Extraordinary Knowing,
published in 2007. “The evidence
we had (on clairvoyance) was rock
hard,” he wrote. “I saw that. But I was
having terrible trouble giving up my
beliefs about how the world worked,
even in the face of evidence that said
my beliefs were wrong.”
“60 per cent of dying
patients had comforting
visions and dreams”
The prejudice in the Western world
is beginning to change, particularly
in the area of grief therapy, as
counsellors take note of other
cultural approaches. One influential
study of Japanese widows found
that their continuing bond with the
presence of their deceased spouses—
setting up altars in the home, leaving
food, incense—made them much
more psychologically resilient than
their British counterparts.
Neuropsychiatrist Dr. Peter
Fenwick of King’s College, London,
has commented on the “sensed
presence” experience. “Often its
64 • AUGUST 2018
emotional impact is so great that
it remains a lasting source of comfort
to the recipient and often has the
power to alter their own perception
of what death means. For them,
whether it’s dismissed by others
as ‘simply coincidence’ is irrelevant.
The simple fact that it’s happened is
usually enough.”
But often we are held back
from embracing the comfort and
reassurance of spirits by a society
that belittles the experience: “I don’t
mean to be unkind, but your sister
was clearly imagining things.”
ONE AUTUMN, with my sister Anne
and her husband, Mark, we spent
the afternoon tucking the cottage
up for winter. Much of what we do
confounds the squirrels, who appear
to have spent most of their autumn
hiding acorns. Each time we strip a
bed, acorns tumble out. Anne and I
keep laughing.
As I shutter the windows, I wonder
what will have happened when they
are next thrown open to soft spring
light. What will have transpired in
my life, in ours, in the history of the
world? Who else will have died?
But the grace I see now comes
from the comfort I draw from this
tribe, with my cousins and aunts and
uncles and friends. The extended
family has drawn ever closer. It’s like
a footprint in the sand that needs to
be filled in. Where the water rushes
in, where love rushes in.
Are your finances
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 BEST OF

British

PA R K L I F E
PHOTO/ILLUSTRATION C REDIT

There isn't a more British way to spend a summer

afternoon than enjoying the sun in our many parks…
BY ANNA WALKER

66 | 02•2017 PHOTO/ILLUSTRATION CREDIT

 INSPIRE

HOLYROOD
EDINBURGH
The dramatic landscape of
Holyrood Park, with steep
pathways and volcanic cliff
faces, offers unparalleled
views over the city of
Edinburgh. A royal park
since the 12th century, the
beautiful Holyrood Palace,
situated on the outskirts of
the estate, remains one of the
Queen’s primary residences.
Take a moment to relax
beside one of the many
mini lochs, enjoy a ramble
along the yellow-flowered
hillocks, set off for the
iconic Arthur’s Seat or
explore the wind-whipped
hillside ruins of the 15th
century St Andrew’s Chapel.
Says ranger Martin Gray,
“Visitors can explore the
beautiful natural heritage
and incredible history which
can be traced as far back as
5000 BC. Home to the
spectacular hills and crags
that shape Edinburgh’s iconic
skyline, visitors can climb the
PHOTO/ILLUSTRATION C REDIT

ancient volcano, Arthur’s

Seat, for 360-degree views of
Edinburgh and the Lothians,
while our rangers offer the
chance to learn about the
special place they protect
with guided walks, group
tours and other events.”

AUGUST 2018 • 67
BEST OF BRITISH

STANLEY PARK
BLACKPOOL
This seriously stylish park won the prestigious Fields in Trust “Best
Park” award in 2017, and deservedly so. With an Art Deco café,
Italian marble fountain, pretty bandstand and picturesque boating
lake, it’s an elegant space to enjoy a summer’s afternoon.
Visitors can spend the day rowing on the lake and exploring the
woodland and formal gardens. There’s also a 5000-seat cricket
ground, 18-hole golf course and model village within the park,
making it well worth a repeat visit.
Says Fields in Trust Chief Executive Helen Griffiths, “Stanley
Park topped our public vote ahead of three other parks. Designed
by celebrated landscape architect Thomas Mawson in the 1920s,
the park was described as ‘fabulous’ and ‘the centre point of
Blackpool’ in its public nomination. Whilst it’s a popular space for
summer visitors, the volunteer Friends of Stanley Park group assist
the council to keep the park’s standards high throughout the year.”

68
CATTON PARK
NORFOLK
Perched prettily on the outskirts of
Norwich, Catton Park offers visitors
70 uninterrupted acres of green
space, from wild flower scattered
meadows to enchanting woodland.
Developed over the years by the
residents of the private estate of
Catton Hall, the park was
commandeered by the military
during the Second World War and
ploughed up for food production.
Thanks to lottery funding, the park
was opened to the public in 2007.
Catton Park hosts a range of events
over the year, from fun runs to car
boot sales and outdoor theatre, so a
casual dog walk can easily turn into
an exciting day out.
Says Old Catton council clerk Sarah
Vincent, "A real sense of community
radiates from the park bringing
people together, whether walking
pets, exercising, reading under a tree
or simply enjoying the landscape."
AUGUST 2018 • 69
 WIRRAL COUNTRY
PARK
CHESHIRE
Following the track of the
former Birkenhead
Railway Route, the
creation of this scenic park
required extensive work,
removing over 30 miles
of railway track and
accompanying sleepers.
Opened to the public in
1973, the old 1950s station
platform for Thurstaston
has been preserved as part
of the park so that visitors
can still enjoy the heritage
of the old railway.
Flora and fauna abound
here, and visitors share
the space with foxes,
badgers and over ten
species of butterfly. The
River Dee’s estuary also
attracts a wide variety
of birds, including
adorable short-eared
owls, so be sure to pack
your binoculars.
Head to the park’s
boulder clay cliffs—which
stretch to 60ft high—for an
unbeatable view over the
entire park before resting
your legs at the café or one
of the many picnic areas.

70 • JULY 2018

VICTORIA PARK
LONDON
The oldest public park in London,
Victoria Park (affectionately known
as the People’s Park) was opened in
the 1800s after the cholera outbreak
saw 30,000 local residents campaign
for a clean space where they could
enjoy fresh air away from the smog
of the city.
At 86 hectares, the park is huge,
stretching all the way from the River
Thames at Limehouse, along the
Regents Canal, through to Mile End.
READER’S DIGEST
The Chinese pagoda is one of the
many highlights of a visit to Vicky
Park. Erected in 1847, the structure
was originally kept seperate from the
rest of the park, leading local
children to speculate that it was
actually home to a Chinese family,
who would sneak out at night in
order to feed the ducks.
Victoria Park has won the Green
Flag People’s Choice Award for most
popular public green space three
times, the only UK park to achieve
the prestigious trifecta.
BEST OF BRITISH
PLATT FIELDS
MANCHESTER
Centred around a beautiful lake
where enthusiastic fishermen catch
carp and tench, Platt Fields has
been enjoyed by the public for over
100 years. Originally intended as
an antidote to the sprawling
industrialisation of Manchester,
Platt Fields were envisioned as the
“green lungs of the city”, providing
Mancunians with an escape
from the pollution and smog of
the workhouses.
Thanks to a significant
rejuvenation in the 1980s, the park
72
has once again become a place of
escape and relaxation. There’s a
huge variety of gardens nestled in
the grounds, including a themed
plot containing only blooms
mentioned in Shakespeare’s plays
and sonnets. There’s also an
educational garden, environmental
area, Jubilee gardens and a
community orchard garden known
for its roses.
Sports fans can enjoy bowling
greens, basketball courts, football
pitches, roller hockey, tennis courts,
cycle paths and a skate park as well
as a BMX track.
 BUTE PARK
ELECTRIC EGG / MATTHEW HORWOOD / ALAM Y STOCK P HOTO
CARDIFF
Described as the “green heart of the
city”, Cardiff’s Bute Park is an urban
oasis. Indeed, surrounded by
towering trees, award-winning
horticulture, a calming river and
thriving wildlife, it’s easy to forget
you’re in the city at all.
Formerly the grounds of the
statuesque Cardiff Castle, Bute Park
attracts over a million visits every
year and is so sprawling that it
could easily house 75 football
pitches, making it one of the largest
parks in Wales.
Famous for its trees, the park
boasts over 3,000 different species
and the greatest number of
“champion trees” (recognised as the
tallest or broadest examples of their
species) in the UK. Eagle-eyed
visitors can spot woodpeckers,
herons and even otters gambolling
in the river.
Throughout the summer months
Bute Park plays host to Cardiff’s
Open-Air Theatre Festival and an
interactive Jurrassic Kingdom
dinosaur event—perfect for
entertaining the little ones during
the long summer holidays.
Do you have a favourite British park?
Email us about it at readersletters@
readersdigest.co.uk
AUGUST 2018 • 73
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 ARCHIVE
From Our
Archive
SEPTEMBER 1955
GOING HOME EARLY
By Christopher Billiopp
“W
hen the suggestion is
made that it would be nice
to attend a party, a hard-
working man has the right to
demand one condition of his wife.
That is that they go home early.
He must do more than that. He
must make the point emphatic. He
must protest that he cannot go out
and stay up until all hours and still
do justice to his work.
He must insist that it would not be
fair to his employers to go to the office
the next morning exhausted. He must
remind her that his performance is
highly important to the general well-
being of the family.
He must make it
clear that he has his
own health to consider.
Do not the doctors say
that a man who is
worn out physically is
likely to pick up any
germs going around?
He may remark
that it is all very
well for members of the family who
can lie in bed in the morning to stay
up until long after midnight.
He questions whether it is
worthwhile going out to these evening
parties at all. They are so noisy that
nobody can hear what anybody else
says and, consequently, the guests
can’t enjoy each other’s company.
And they’re tempted to eat
indigestible food and pay for it the
next day.
So he wants it to be fully
understood that he is going as a
personal favour, and that if the
condition under which he
goes is not respected this
will be the last time.
Thus threatened, she
keeps her mind on the
time, and, at a
reasonable hour,
suggests that they go. At
this he looks surprised and
hurt, and exclaims: “What,
go now? Why, the fun is
”
just beginning!
AUGUST 2018 • 75
IF I RULED THE WORLD
Jon Sopel
Jon Sopel has presented for the BBC for 16
years and became their North American Editor
in 2014. He lives in Washington DC and London
People would listen to each other
and be challenged by views that are
not their own. In the UK, news
broadcasters have to adhere to certain
rules of impartiality but in the US
there are no such obligations. This
means the media is politically
slanted, leading to an intolerance of
other people’s views dependent on
what media broadcast they watch or
listen to. Being open to a plurality of
opinions is vital for open-minded
discussions and democracy.
Children would all learn a
foreign language. I thought it
was a terrible decision by the
Labour government in 2002
to make it optional
for children over the
age of 14 to study a
second language.
Now three quarters
of UK residents
are unable to
hold a
conversation in
any language
76 • AUGUST 2018
except English. It seems very
complacent—and limiting—to
assume that everyone will speak
our language.
I’d encourage greater day-to-day
civility. On my walk to work in
Washington DC people on the street
say good morning to each other.
When people get in a taxi they
always say hello to the driver
before giving their requested
destination. That doesn’t
happen in the UK very
much anymore and I think
it’s a real shame. I love the
sense of community in the
US; people know their
neighbours and look
out for them.
A little bit
more civility
and courtesy
around the globe
would make the
world rock
along in a more
pleasant way.

I’d put strict regulations on what
can be posted on social media.
Social media is broadcasting and the
platforms from which it is delivered
must be fully accountable for the
content that goes out.
Money would not be the driving
force behind the US elections.
Hundreds of millions of dollars are
spent during American elections. If
you become a Congressman your
main job is to start fundraising for the
next election. Of course that’s very
compromising because you have to
do all sorts of deals with those
organisations with the most money—
often in the pockets of the National
Rifle Association (NRA).
A small state governor election can
see more money being spent than the
cost of the whole UK general election.
Limits need to be put on these amounts.
We’d be more attuned to our
surroundings. I really hate it when
people are busy talking on their
phones in a shop and don’t
acknowledge the existence of the
cashier helping them.
Also, why does everyone seem to
want to shut out the noise around
them by walking down the street
with headphones on? And don’t get
me started on littering…
Let’s take time to engage in
friendly discourse with each other,
and be more in the moment and
aware of our surroundings.
INSPIRE
We’d have more appreciation for
our armed forces. We can rant and
rail at the politicians who send our
soldiers to war but we must never
blame the soldiers. People who serve
their country deserve respect.
It’s grotesque to think that soldiers
who served in Iraq or Afghanistan
have been spat on by members of the
public. Many of us had parents or
grandparents who served in the two
World Wars and, although we’re now
living through a period of relative
peace, we do so thanks to those who
made the ultimate sacrifice for us.
I’d change the US gun laws. The
statistics are staggering but the
Second Amendment, which states
that it is “the right of people to bear
arms” seems sacred to Americans.
The young people involved in the
Florida school shooting in February,
who saw their friends gunned down,
have stood up and are championing
for change. After all, while most
people in Congress have fired an AR-
15 rifle at one time or another, none
of them have been on the receiving
end. But these kids have. They’re not
intimidated by the NRA or politicians
on Capitol Hill and that’s exciting.
As told to Caroline Hutton
Jon Sopel’s book If Only They Didn’t
Speak English: Notes from Trump’s
America, is out now, published by BBC
AUGUST 2018 • 77
 HEALTH & ADVENTURE

Here’s how to get the

most out of every pill

9 Ways To Make
Your Vitamins
Work Better
BY DE NI SE M A N N

TAKE THEM WITH FOOD

1 The digestive process helps the body
absorb vitamins and minerals. Taking
supplements on a full stomach aids
absorption and also helps prevent nausea,
a common side effect. Of course, there are
exceptions—in this case, it’s iron. Take it on
an empty stomach for better absorption.

HOW THEY WORK WITH MEDS

2 Vitamins and minerals can interact
with prescription and over-the-counter
medications, sometimes making one or the
P HOTO: © S HUTTERSTOCK

other less effective. For example, calcium may

interfere with the absorption of levothyroxine,
a thyroid medication. On the other hand,
supplements sometimes help drugs work
better. Studies show that antidepressants are
more effective when taken with omega-3-
rich fish oil. The worst-case scenario: when

78 • AUGUST 2018
supplements excessively amplify
a medication’s effects. For instance,
fish oil, vitamin E, and gingko are
natural blood thinners, so if you
take any of them together with an
anticoagulant, your blood may
become too thin, raising the risk for
internal bleeding and hemorrhagic
stroke. Ask your doctor or
pharmacist for guidance before
starting on any supplements.
PAIR THEM
3 There are vitamins and
minerals that work well together.
Vitamins D and K2 help calcium
absorption, and vitamin C helps
the body absorb iron.
KEEP THESE APART
4 Some vitamins and minerals
are best taken separately. For
example, zinc and copper—in large
doses—compete with one another,
as do iron and zinc. Calcium
inhibits iron absorption, so take
iron in the morning before eating,
and calcium in the evenings, when
it can calm your mood.
HELP THEM
5 WORK WELL
The live bacteria and yeasts in
probiotics aid digestion and help
nutrients be assimilated. Plant-
based digestive enzymes help with
the absorption of nutrients that
may normally get destroyed by
stomach acid.
6 HOW TO STORE THEM
The cultures in probiotics need
to be stored and shipped cold to
stay active. Likewise, omega-3 fatty-
fish oil tablets should be kept in a
cool dark place so they stay
effective. Some experts even suggest
freezing them for this reason.
GO NATURAL
7 While studies of vitamin E are
mixed, it’s a powerful antioxidant,
and should be taken in its natural
rather than synthetic form if possible.
This way your body will get more of
the good stuff. Look for a D on the
label, which indicates that it is
natural; DL indicates synthetic.
WATCH THE CAFFEINE
8 Your morning coffee may
interfere with the absorption of
vitamins and minerals and may also
leach calcium from your bones.
Minimise these risks by consuming
no more than three cups a day,
getting enough calcium, plus
vitamin D, and waiting about 15
minutes after your coffee before you
take your vitamins.
SCHEDULE THEM
9 B Vitamins tend to give people
energy and are, therefore, best
taken at the start of the day. Other
supplements can make you drowsy,
so they’re best to take in the
evenings. Magnesium is an example
of this: it has a calming effect.
AUGUST 2018 • 79
Paris
With My
Grandmother
BY L I A M D REW
 TRAVEL & ADVENTURE

"SO, WE WON'T BE TAKING

THESE?" I asked, as Nan walked
away from the escalator.
"No," she said defiantly,
heading for the staircase, "I
don't like them."
My mum—Nan’s daughter—
had warned me about this. But
at 72, Nan was about to leave
England and fly for the first time;
I'd rather hoped that the novelty
of a moving staircase could also
be accommodated. It couldn't,
which meant I ascended the
stairs to the airport's departure
lounge slowly, finding myself
worrying once more about
the logistics of our travelling
alone together.

81
PA R I S W I T H M Y G R A N D M OT H E R
THE TRIP WE WERE ABOUT TO
make was the result of a conversation
we’d had the previous year. Stood
by her stove, watching her cook, I’d
asked Nan if she had any regrets. She’d
surprised me by saying instantly,
"I always wish I'd gone to Paris."
It was the way she made it sound,
like an impossibility. It was as if
the fact that she’d not gone there
with Granddad meant she would
never go. That was what made me
decide I would take her. Months
later, I graduated university and—
empowered by my first wages—
promised her for Christmas that
I’d take her to the French capital.
Now, in summer, waiting for our
plane, I asked Nan if she'd prefer
tea or coffee. She replied by asking
if they had brandy. I smiled. First,
because it was only 9am, but more
because Nan usually drank whiskey
and I loved the nod to France in
her choice of Dutch courage. I duly
ordered a beer and a brandy.
As this day had approached, I'd
become increasingly anxious. Besides
banal worries about something going
wrong or an emergency of some sort,
I was concerned about how it would
be for just the two of us to be together
for 60 hours straight. Nan and I were
close—she'd been widowed 18 years
previously, and for my brother and
I she was the fifth member of our
nuclear family—but although
we often talked with an ease and
enthusiasm that delighted us both,
82 • AUGUST 2018
“As we wobbled into
the air, Nan squeezed
my hand, eyes closed,
seeking assurance”
our conversations didn't always catch
light. And when had we ever spent
longer than a few hours alone?
Halfway through our drinks, I
remarked on something my dad had
said the previous night. Nan said,
"You know that's what he's like, love.
Doesn't want his little boy to grow
up," launching us into a dissection
of her son-in-law. The subject was
familiar but the conversation felt fresh
and nuanced, and I chided myself for
having doubted our ability to always
talk freely.
My nerves returned, however,
when our plane turned out to be
much smaller than I'd anticipated.
I’d only previously flown on bulky
jumbo jets; this flimsy plane with
its mere 12 rows of seats—two on
one side, one on the other—made
me uneasy. As we wobbled into the
air, Nan squeezed my hand, her
eyes closed, seeking assurance and I
feigned composure.
AT CHARLES DE GAULLE, taxis
seemed too alien and expensive,
so we made the trip to our hotel by
bus, and all subsequent journeys
around the city via public transport.
“Xxxxxx”
The hotel was prosaic and plain
but perfectly Parisian. A tiny metal
lift rattled to the top floor, where
our attic room twin beds waited,
laughably separated by only the
width of their sheets.
I was relieved to discover, when
“I watched the
torrent of novelty
bombarding her
and saw how far
she'd travelled"
we headed out to explore, that the
nearby Metro stop was shallow
and without an escalator. After I’d
navigated the ticket machines and
the station's tunnels Nan asked,
perplexed, how I’d known what to
do. Aboard the train rushing into the
AUGUST 2018 • 83
PA R I S W I T H M Y G R A N D M OT H E R
city’s centre, I watched the torrent of
novelty bombarding her and saw just
how far she’d travelled that day.
ALIGHTING AT THE HOTEL DE
VILLE, we stepped to the river to
behold the grand architecture of
the Seine’s islands. I was constantly
aware of overexerting Nan but Paris
is a city you must walk in, and so
we did, strolling to the Louvre’s
courtyards and from those to Notre-
Dame. Despite my frequent inquiries
throughout the trip, Nan always said
—and I believed her—that she was
happy to keep going.
Nan took pride in the apparent
worldliness of her grandson and I was
emboldened by this faith, inflated
further each time she was overly
impressed by something that
I knew about Paris or French food
or culture. Sitting outside the Notre-
Dame, I told Nan which country or
region each of the passing tourists
was from. "But how do you know?"
she wondered.
We had dinner in an over-priced,
overly touristic café: the food was
generic and a menu written in
French and English punctured the
atmosphere a fraction. It was fun later,
however, to repeat our morning drinks
order as une bière et un cognac and to
sense in that first request the words
becoming a motif.
The second morning we ambled
around the gardens of the Palais de
Luxembourg, then the Jardin des
84 • AUGUST 2018
“Nan took pride in
the apparent
worldliness of her
grandson ”
Plantes. And for lunch, we went to an
old café near the botanical gardens,
where I knew there would be no
English on the menu.
The dark-haired girl who greeted us
was attractive and my age, her smile
disappointingly impersonal. But as
I asked, in stuttering French, for the
table in the front bay window, her eyes
flicked curiously between her guests
and whatever she grasped of our
situation, from then on, she became
warm and attentive; happy it seemed
to partake in whatever adventure we
were on.
Nan was always wary of foreign
food—even though she loved the
smell of garlic, she considered it too
exotic to eat—and so she ordered
pommes frites and salad. Her trip to
the bathroom, however, gave her an
authentic experience. Our waitress
led her by the elbow to the back of the
café, but when Nan returned she leant
across the table to say, "I hope I went
in the right room."
"I'm sure you did, why?"
"There was just a hole in the
ground, which I had to crouch over...."
"Well, now you've peed like a real
French person, Nan!"
 Afterwards, we crossed the city
by Metro, but when we went to exit
the station we met two towering
escalators, that flanked a neck-cricking
central staircase.
"Come on, Nan. Look..." I said,
extending my palm optimistically
to the upward escalator.
"We'll be fine," she said, starting for
the staircase.
Though it was her choice,
I felt dreadful that Nan had to
make that mountainous climb—
and to compound my guilt, the
twin escalators provided two
uninterrupted streams of commuters
who stared unflinchingly; curious,
pitying and probably disgusted,
wondering what weird game I was
playing, making her climb.
AUGUST 2018 • 85
PA R I S W I T H M Y G R A N D M OT H E R
We spent the afternoon meandering
the streets and leisurely taking coffee.
Then, come evening we explored
the Latin Quarter. When an alleyway
brought us to an Irish bar, Nan said
"Let's go in here," taking the lead for
the first time.
I thought she’d been drawn to the
familiarity of a pub but, in fact, she
was thrilled by the hybrid foreignness
of it, one alien country nested in
another. The menu, though, contained
dishes she might have cooked herself
and we each dined on Shepherd's Pie.
AFTER DINNER, WE WALKED until
a lamplit square brought us to a halt.
Open at one end, its three closed sides
housed restaurants whose tables,
dressed in classic red and white check,
spilled across the entire cobbled
piazza. The tables were full, and
waiters zipped among them, cutting
through the buzz of conversation
and gesticulation and the dance of
knives, forks, wine glasses and bottles.
For good measure, a violinist played.
We stopped to stare, but soon I was
more absorbed by Nan’s face as she
stood, transfixed by the Paris of her
imagination come to life.
Eventually we begrudgingly walked
on, but our luck was good—as we
left through the square’s open end,
a small round table outside a bar
became free. In the light illuminating
the bar’s sign, we ordered une bière et
un cognac and sat chatting, gazing on
the square, and watching the night's
86 • AUGUST 2018
“I was absorbed by
Nan’s face as she stood,
transfixed by the Paris
of her imagination ”
crowd stroll by. The silences were
long and comfortable—and in them I
felt, at last, Granddad's absence move
about us.
Later, as we walked back from the
Metro station to our hotel, Nan said,
"Oh, Lee, I could have sat at that table
all night."
"Really?" I said. "I'm so sorry.
I thought you were tired… We should
have stayed."
She offered no counterpoint, no
suggestion that she thought I was
tired too.
"Shall we?" I asked, nodding toward
a dimly lit door—by no means the
Latin Quarter—a bakery-type café
offering little charm sat half open,
snoozing on the job.
"Go on, then," said Nan, and we
mounted the steps to join a couple
of locals in the sleepy room.
"Une bière et un cognac, s'il
vous plait."
When someone is gone, as Nan
now is, the sadness at what's lost
nestles with a lament for what will
forever remain unknown—the
incompleteness of the relationship,
the conversations never had. Besides
the procession of recollections I have

of Nan as archetypal grandmother,
there sits another set of memories,
those of occasions when I saw a
different aspect of her.
Seated with our drinks, Nan said
finally, "Your Granddad would have
loved this, Lee."
I left a gap for her to decide if
she would go on. She did, and
soon I was voicing my 23-year-old
incomprehension of how a long life
could be dedicated so absolutely to a
single person and then to his memory.
"But, Nan, you married him when you
were only 21, didn’t you?”
"I did, love, but I knew." Where
READER’S DIGEST
Liam's grandparents
photographed during their
long and happy marriage
I had feared sadness, there was
thankfulness. "He was so special. He
understood me, he made me."
When she paused, I offered up
my handful of infant recollections of
him. Then Nan led the conversation
further backwards, so that there in
Paris, in a bland suburban café as a
server waited to close up, I sat quietly
before a stream of images of my young
grandfather, and learned how, half
a century before, my Nan had been
transformed by love.
Liam is the author of I, Mammal: The Story
of What Makes Us Mammals (Bloomsbury)
AUGUST 2018 • 87
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 TRAVEL & ADVENTURE

BEYOND
THE BEACHES
Greater Fort Lauderdale

© HAND LUGGAGE ON LY

There’s more to Florida’s southeastern

coast than its beautiful sandy beaches,
as Anna Walker discovers…
I
t’s a beautiful, moonlit night in
Fort Lauderdale, Florida. I’m
standing beneath the stars,
soaking up the chatter of locals and
the distant thrum of a band and
I’m holding something special.
Nestled warmly between my fingers
and a napkin is a perfectly round,
sugar-dusted, deep-fried Oreo. It’s
just about the most American thing
I can imagine: sugary, decadent and
nostalgic. A taste of childhood, for
just $1 a pop.
We’re visiting the FAT Village,
which on the last Saturday of each
month becomes a pop-up artists’
quarter, with musicians, painters,
chefs and craftsmen of every kind
filling this downtown warehouse
district with all manner of alluring
colours, sounds and smells.
I encounter surreal portraits of
celebrities, hand-crafted maps of
Florida and homemade soy candles
that smell like pudding. Small boys
weave in and out of pedestrians on
their BMXs, giggling uncontrollably as
they topple onto one another, their
bikes in a tangled heap.
The moon is bright and full, and
though vibrant in the sunshine, dusk
has brought with it a hushed, excited
quality to this cultural mecca. It’s still
a somewhat underground event, even
amongst locals, and you can feel the
sense of a shared secret in the air.
A singer by the name of Psychic
Dove performs nearby, strumming
mellow, Miami-inspired love songs
on a shiny black guitar, pausing
occasionally for impassioned
speeches on the power of music to
bring people together. When I chat to
him later, he’s on a mission to hunt
down some vegan chow from a
nearby ramen stall.
It’s an unforgettable first night in
Fort Lauderdale. Home to some of
the most postcard-perfect beaches
I’ve ever seen, it’s reasonable that
many tourists arrive in Miami’s
smaller, more relaxed sister
expecting nothing more than
sunshine and sand. But as I’m to
discover, this destination has a lot
more to offer.
I RISE EARLY THE NEXT MORNING,
relishing the view from my room at
the stylish W Hotel. To the left is the
iconic palm-lined promenade, where
the sea stretches until it kisses the
horizon. It’s scattered with neat signs
drawing attention to the sea turtle
hatching season: hundreds of babies
will shimmy their way up the
beaches in the coming months, and
several waterfront hotels have
changed their lighting so as not to
confuse the tiny critters into shuffling
in the wrong direction. During my
flight I noticed the ocean was littered
91
B E YO N D T H E B E AC H E S

with little white blobs. I soon realised While he describes the hijinks that
that I’d actually spotted a huge bale followed, we’re overtaken by a kayak
of turtles, swimming just off shore. with a porky dog sprawled across the
To my right, the view takes in the bow. “That there’s Gatsby,” Nelson
glittering waterways (all 167 miles of explains, without missing a beat. “He
them) that have earned Fort made a fortune starring in Purina
Lauderdale the nickname of “the commercials.” Even the dogs around
Venice of Florida”. I explore them up- here are famous.
close that evening, with a private
cruise on the Fort Lauderdale Water WE WAVE OUR GOODBYES to
Taxi. Our guide, Captain Nelson, Nelson and dismount to wander the
takes us along “Billionaire’s Row”, the short distance to Las Olas Boulevard,
gorgeous secluded waterways lined an eclectic shopping and dining
on either side with district with some of
the beautiful homes
of the rich and
“Hundreds of baby the cleanest streets
I’ve ever seen. We’re
famous—each one turtles will shimmy headed for dinner at
a veritable Barbie
dream house
their way up Louie Bossi, a lively
Italian restaurant
looking out onto Fort Lauderdale’s with trendy yet
the water. secluded outdoor
Nelson knows
beaches in the dining. It’s busy for
everything about coming months” a Sunday, but the
this elite atmosphere is
neighbourhood, and he’s full relaxed, and our eager waiter plies us
of amusing—and sometimes with food and cocktails. I try a vegan
salacious—anecdotes. These are the Amaretto Sour and fill my belly with
homes of doctors, lawyers, the owner “angel’s hair” pasta.
of the Miami Dolphins, the inventor It’s energy food I’m grateful for the
of Alka Seltzer: you name it, he next day, where we take a private
knows it. We cruise slowly past the transfer to Birch State Park to explore
home of the owner of Budweiser, some fresh water lagoons via kayak.
right next door to the owner of a rival It’s incredibly tranquil, and a well-
brewer. Nelson tells us that after one placed reminder of Florida’s
particularly rambunctious party, the
rival collected all of his guest’s empty
Clockwise (L-R); A fresh lobster roll from GG’s;
beer cans, and unceremoniously
Deep Fried Stuffed Oreos at FAT Village; FAT VIllage
dumped them on Mr Budweiser’s after dark; A boat ride along Fort Lauderdale’s
front lawn. glamourous waterways

92 • AUGUST 2018
 READER’S DIGEST

Everglades heritage. Our guide kayaks Pierre puts the finishing touches on
backwards, telling us stories about the her design. A Haitian American, she
region as he goes, pointing out plants was raised in Brooklyn, New York,
that would have offered sustenance to and wants her piece to evoke
Native Americans, when they passed sentiments of femininity. Vickie
through these parts many years before. works in paint-splattered trousers,
in 30-degree heat, but she’s more
A SHORT DRIVE BRINGS VISITORS than happy to pause on hour five of
to the nearby city of Hollywood. painting to chat with us about her
Perched between Fort Lauderdale passion for the project.
and Miami, it’s the ideal blend of the After stretching our legs, it’s time
two cities—relaxed like Fort for lunch. And GG’s Waterfront Bar
Lauderdale but and Grill might just
with a vibrant arts be the best spot in
and food scene “At one point a huge the city. Serving
to rival Miami. hungry customers
The soul of the gator jumps up at since the 1940s, the
city is encapsulated the edge of our boat, restaurant has an
perfectly by the engrossing history.
impressive flipping onto its back, A favourite with
Downtown yellow belly exposed” both Frank Sinatra’s
Hollywood Mural Rat Pack and the
project—a collection Mafia, the gorgeous
of carefully curated outdoor murals waterfront venue was for a time wire-
painted by artists from both home tapped by the FBI. Indeed, a plot to
and abroad. It lends the entire area kill Castro was once formulated
an offbeat, quirky charm to cross the within its walls.
road and lock eyes with Salvador We feast on delicious Fort
Dalí or be met with the shock of pink Lauderdale stone crabs— GG’s get
flamingos when you turn one corner, through 500 tons of the stuff a year—
and a flock of wide-eyed mermaids as luxury yachts cruise past. It’s easy
when you turn the next. to see why the Rat Pack brought all
We encounter one mural in the their dates here.
midst of completion, as artist Vickie Away from the serenity of the bay,
it’s time to encounter a different side
Clockwise (L-R); A flat-bottomed boat ride of Florida. We wrench ourselves from
through the iconic Everglades; Fine dining at the view for the Sawgrass Recreation
Fort Lauderdale’s TRP Taste; One of many
glamourous houses along Fort Lauderdale’s
Park, where a private airboat tour of
waterways; A striking mermaid mural by Miami the iconic Everglades awaits us.
native Tati Suarez in Downtown Hollywood
in Downtown Hollywood
AUGUST 2018 • 95
LAS VEGAS STRIPPED BACK
Our guide—Captain Bob—has been
skimming the waters on these boats
for 52 years. When I ask how he
became involved in the Everglades,
he points to a hammock between
some distant trees. That’s the hunting
camp he was raised in. Nowadays it
costs huntsmen more
to kill an alligator—accounting for
tools and a license—than
they could realistically
make from selling the meat,
Bob explains, so the old
hunting families have had
to be smart.
When he was just ten
years old, Bob’s neighbour bought
a brand-new airboat. Desperate
for a turn in the captain’s chair,
he convinced his father to let
96 • AUGUST 2018
him take a spin on the boat and he
never looked back. Bob laughs as he
describes sneaking out to drag race
the boats across the glades at night
in his teenage years.
We speed across the sprawling
body of water—which gathers here
entirely from rainfall—at what seems
like an impossible speed. At one
point a huge gator jumps up at the
edge of our boat, flipping onto its
back, yellow belly exposed. Bob
barely bats an eyelid.
Later, a majestic blue
heron swoops overhead
with a baby gator clamped
firmly in its mouth. It’s incredible
how close to nature we feel just
a short drive from Downtown
Hollywood’s pristine streets.
 READER’S DIGEST

IT’S NEARLY HOME TIME, but before

we head to the airport, we make one
final stop. Billy’s Stone Crab is world-
famous, and we’ve heard their stone
crabs with mustard sauce are the
stuff of legends.
A family restaurant through and
through, we dine with proprietor
Elena Hershey, who charmingly
introduces herself as “Mrs. Billy”.
Elena explains that stone crab is
special, because once harvested for
their claws, they’re re-released back
into the waterways. Unlike most
crabs, they have the incredible ability
to regrow their claws, making this
dish sustainable as well as delicious.
As we dine on crab, lobster tails
and fresh grouper and snapper,
Travel Tips
we’re treated to the sight of a fleet
of frolicking dolphins playing in the FLY
streams of passing yachts. BA flies directly to Fort Lauderdale
Our final Floridian bucket list from London Gatwick. Flights from
item before we leave is to sample £329pp return (britishairways.com)
Billy’s Key Lime Pie. The recipe is
kept top secret and shipped across STAY
the country to the restaurant’s loyal W Hotel Fort Lauderdale, (954 414-
fan base. 8200, wfortlauderdalehotel.com)
Even after a full week of sampling
Key Lime Pie (it’s something of a Margaritaville Hollywood Beach
Floridian specialty) Billy’s still Resort, (844-562-5625, margaritaville
manages to be the most delicious hollywoodbeachresort.com)
dessert of the trip.
I’m reminded of the feeling I got EAT
from that deep-fried Oreo on my first For our pick of the best restaurants in
night. Nostalgic and sweet, it’s the Greater Fort Lauderdale visit
complete taste of Greater Fort readersdigest.co.uk/lifestyle/travel/
Lauderdale—indulgent comfort with where-to-eat-in-fort-lauderdale
a surprisingly zesty twist.

AUGUST 2018 • 97
My Great Escape:
Skye’s Not The Limit
Angela Ness of Perth explores the delights of
Scotland’s Isle of Skye
T
he Island of Skye has always
fascinated me. With its
towering craggy Cuillins, fairy
pools and fantastic rock formations,
I’ve spent many holidays exploring
the rugged landscape and soaking up
its sense of history.
I’ve never had any interest in its
close neighbour, the Isle of Raasay,
but one day, mainly to enjoy a ferry
ride, I paid a visit. It turned out to be
one of the best days of my holiday.
The view of the Cuillins to the west
and Torridon to the east was awe-
inspiringly impressive from the calm
blue sea.
Embarking at the pier, the first
thing I saw was a beautiful horse-shoe
shaped white sand bay, washed with
crystal clear waters. Following the
path round the headland, an
impressive view of the east coast of
Skye was stretched out across the
narrow strip of sea. Further on was a
secluded beach backed by a grassy
hill where I enjoyed a picnic lunch,
just soaking up the scenery.
Passing Raasay House, now
98 • AUGUST 2018
boasting self-catering accommodation
and a “sea activity centre”, I made
my way through woodlands, passing
over ancient brochs and a church,
stepping over peaty streams,
accompanied all the way by a chorus
of birdsong.
I wasn’t surprised to discover that
this was the birthplace of poet Sorley
Maclean, as it was certainly making
me feel poetic. I was surprised
however, to learn that the island once
had a thriving iron ore mining
industry. Now, it relies on fishing,
farming and tourism. The friendly
community hall where I had a
welcome cuppa is testimony to that.
Thinking about Dun Caan, the flat- ALLAN WRIGHT / ALAM Y STOCK PHOTO
topped hill in the north of the island
and more hidden coves still to be
explored I knew I would be back.
Raasay Ferry leaves from Sconser
on Skye. Timetables and tariff are
available at calmac.co.uk
Tell us about your favourite holiday (send a
photo too) and if we print it we’ll pay £50.
Email excerpts@readersdigest.co.uk
TRAVEL & ADVENTURE

Cottage on Raasay
with views to Skye
T R AV E L & A D V E N T U R E

STAYCATIONS: HOME IS
WHERE THE HOLIDAY IS
FOR DOG-OWNERS:
NORTH NORFOLK
Stylish Georgian coaching inn The
Globe has debuted 12 new bedrooms
including three which welcome dogs.
Pooches can also run free at one end
of Wells beach, toffee-coloured and
a mile away (theglobeatwells.co.uk).
FOR DAREDEVILS:
ISLE OF WIGHT
Britain’s first overnight treetop
camping experiences are available
in a country house’s pretty grounds.
After climbing ropes, harnessed
guests sleep in hammocks ten
metres up a beech tree. Medium
fitness is required (goodleaf.co.uk).
FOR FAMILIES:
MERSEYSIDE
Knowsley Safari’s terrific new tiger
trail allows visitors to practice
pouncing—very important—and
sprinting, before coming face to
face with huge Amir tigers via glass
panels. Elephants and rhinos also
await (knowsleysafariexperience.
co.uk).
FOR WALKERS:
SOUTH-WEST
WALES
To mark the little-
known Heart of
Wales railway line’s 150th
anniversary, a long-distance parallel
walking trail is being readied.
Incorporating viaducts and castles,
Carmarthenshire’s hilly section
is already open. Why not walk one
way, then return by train? (heart-of-
wales.co.uk)
FOR SEA-FOODIES:
WESTERN SCOTTISH
A self-guided driving tour, Absolute
Escapes’ Seafood Trail pairs
thrillingly wild scenery with
waterside hotels and restaurants
serving scintillating shellfish.
Whisky-tasting on the Isle of Skye
also features (absoluteescapes.com).
by Richard Mellor

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100 • AUGUST 2018

 Putting
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readersdigestsolotravel.co.uk 2017

*Calls will cost 7p per minute plus your telephone company’s access charge.
What’s The Point
Of Loyalty Schemes?
We’re all guilty of amassing a wealth of loyalty cards
without much clue about their value. Here are the
cards that are actually worth the wallet space
W
ith so many different
schemes and complicated
points systems, it’s often a
struggle to know whether swiping
your loyalty card at the till is worth
the effort.
To help, here’s a breakdown of the
high street’s main loyalty cards and
what you get.
SAINSBURY’S NECTAR
Points per full pound spent: 1
Value of 1 point: 0.5p
Though you can collect Nectar
points at a few retailers, it’s
Sainsbury’s where most of us earn
our points. Once you have 500 points
(worth £2.50) in your account you
can use them at the till to save on
your shopping, or exchange them
Andy Webb is a
personal finance
journalist and runs
the award-winning
money blog,
Be Clever With
Your Cash
102 • AUGUST 2018
online. You’ll likely also be sent
money off vouchers in the post.
TESCO CLUBCARD
Points per full pound spent: 1
Value of 1 point: 1p
Once you’ve earned at least 150
Clubcard points you will be sent a
voucher—though these are only sent
out four times a year. You can use
these vouchers at the till, or “boost”
them so they’re worth three times as
much on things like magazine
subscriptions and train tickets. You’ll
need to go online to do this. Again,
Tesco posts out money off coupons
to members to help you save extra
on your shopping.
MARKS AND SPENCER
M&S SPARKS
Points per full pound spent: 10
Value of 1 point: 0
Sparks from Marks and Spencers is a
different type of loyalty scheme. The
points you make don’t earn you any
cash. Instead they allow you early
 MONEY

access to sales and special events. BOOTS ADVANTAGE

Alongside regular discounts you Points per full pound spent: 4
access through the M&S website, Value of 1 point: 1p
you’ll also be sent special 20% off One of the most generous reward
codes and vouchers to use schemes on the market, you can
throughout the year. start spending your Boots Advantage
points as soon as you earn them—
WAITROSE MYWAITROSE but you need to cover the entire total
Points per full pound spent: 0 cost of your chosen purchase. Watch
Value of 1 point: 0 out for popular bonus points events,
Similar to M&S, Waitrose’s loyalty usually adding 1,000 points, worth
scheme doesn’t earn you cash. In £10, to your account if you spend
fact there aren’t any points to collect around £50.
at all. You can however take
advantage of in-store discounts. If
you spend £10 you can claim a free
newspaper, and there’s 20% off fish
on Fridays and steak on a Saturday.
There’s also no minimum spend if
you want a free tea or coffee—though
you will need to bring a reusable
coffee cup. Keep an eye on the
letter box for more of those coveted
money off coupons.

MORRISONS
MORRISONS MORE
Points per full pound spent: 5
Value of 1 point: 0.2p
You need to spend a lot of
money at Morrisons to
claim a voucher, with £5
the minimum payout. This
requires a huge 5,000
points, which you’d only
get after spending £1,000.
But if you’re a regular at
this supermarket it’s still
worth signing up.

MAY 2018 • 103

MONEY

My Mum’s Money
SAYING NO TO A SMART METER

Y
ou’ve probably had a lot of
calls and letters from your
energy company encouraging
you to get a smart meter installed.
They sound like a good idea on paper.
You can monitor your energy use in
real time to work out which
appliances are the most expensive to
run, and in turn use them less to
lower your bills. They’re also meant to
automatically send accurate readings
to the energy company, meaning an
end to estimated bills.
Except my mum isn’t convinced.
And with good reason. She’s a regular
switcher, comparing prices every year
to find the best deal for her gas and
electricity. It saves her hundreds of
pounds each year.
The problem with most smart
meters is they’re likely to become
dumb meters if she changes supplier.
This was a fault that was meant to be
fixed last year but wasn’t, and is slated
to get updated at some point this year.
But until then there’s no point getting
one installed when it’ll only stop
working later in
the year.
Despite the wait
for these meters, it
doesn’t mean my
mum can’t keep tabs on her energy
use. She actually tracks the usage on
the standard meters from time to
time. And she’s been able to work out
more or less where the money goes.
My mum’s money tip:
There are some newer energy smart
meters which will work if you switch
supplier, but most companies are still
rolling out the older versions. If you
are offered one, check whether it’s
the latest SMETSII model, rather than
SMETSI. If it’s the latter, say no.

104 • AUGUST 2018

 READER’S DIGEST

Money Site Of The Month

SayNoTo0870.com

W
hen you’re calling
premium numbers such
as those starting 0845 and
0870 it can cost you a fair whack.
Though these are sometimes
included with landline packages,
they won’t be included in
your mobile phone
allowances.
When you call these
numbers your provider
will set an access charge
per minute. Then the company
you are calling adds a service
charge, again per minute, which you
should be told when you call. Then
the charges can quickly wrack up,
with a hour long call easily costing
£40 from a mobile phone.
However in most cases these
numbers have alternatives which are
either freephone or starting 01, 02 or
03. These are far cheaper to dial, and
they’re usually included in calling
packages. The only trouble is actually
finding them.
That’s where SayNoTo0870.com
comes in. The website is quite basic
but you can enter either the number
you have or the name of the
company you’re trying to
contact. Hopefully somewhere
in the huge database is an
alternative you can dial. These
numbers have been added by
users so it’s possible they’re out
of date or not quite right, but it’s
certainly a great place to start.
The other variations you can enter
into the site are 0842, 0843, 0844,
0871, 0872, 0873. These numbers
won’t be covered by any landline call
packages. Sadly it’s unlikely you’ll
find a cheaper number if you’re
trying other premium rate 09 and
directory enquiries 118 numbers.

SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE CASH

Following a public contest seeking ideas to make obeying

the speed-limit fun, Sweden now operate a system
whereby speed-abiding citizens are entered into a lottery
to win the money charged in fines to speeding citizens.
The average speed of cars passing by one camera
dropped from 20MPH to 15MPH as a result.

SOURCE: WIRED.COM

AUGUST 2018 • 105

 FOOD

Peanut Butter
Chicken Curry
Though curry might not be 1. Heat the oil in a heavy-bottomed
the first thing which springs to pan and cook the chicken at a high
mind in the summer, this dish heat. Use tongs to turn the thighs until
is designed for the hot weather— the pale skin turns coloured and
channelling flavours of South golden. Set on plate and put to one
East Asian satay, and African side while you prepare the sauce.
mafay peanut stews. Even 2. First, cool the oil that you cooked
peanut butter haters will love it! the chicken in, by taking the pan off
the heat for two minutes. Next, cook
Serves 4 the onions at a medium-gentle heat
• 3tbsp oil until they soften and turn translucent.
• 8 chicken thighs (bone-in) Add the scotch bonnet and ginger to
• 2 onions, diced the pan, and cook for a minute until
• 1 scotch bonnet, deseeded fragrant. If no scotch bonnets are
and thinly sliced available, use any hot, fresh chilli.
• 1 thumb-sized piece of 3. Add the tomatoes to the pan, and
fresh ginger allow them to cook-down. Meanwhile,
• 10 tomatoes, washed and diced boil 500ml of water, and then add it to
• 4tbsp peanut butter the tomato sauce, along with the
• 250g peanut butter peanut butter, and stir to combine.
• 500ml water 4. Return the chicken thighs to the
pan, cover and simmer for 25-30
Optional serve: steamed rice, fried minutes until the chicken thighs
plantain, wilted spinach are cooked-through.
5. If following the optional serve,
Rachel Walker is simmer the rice, and pan fry the
a food writer for peeled and sliced plantain in
numerous national vegetable oil. Two minutes before the
publications.
Visit rachel-walker.co.uk rice has finished cooking, use the
for more information steam from the cooking rice to wilt
spinach in a sieve. Serve.

106 • AUGUST 2018

 Drinks Tip…
Even if you prefer pale pink
rosé from Provence, a fruitier
wine works best with curries,
so look for a Portuguese or
Italian number, which will
also taste delicious with a
summer berry dessert.
PHOTOGRAPHY BY TIM & ZOË HILL

107
FOOD

PERFECT PROFITEROLES
When making choux pastry it’s important to remember a couple of
things: always preheat the oven and try to resist opening and shutting
the door during cooking. That way they’re sure to puff up and become
beautifully golden and crisp—heaven!

1. Preheat oven to 200ºC and line a tray with baking paper. Serves 8-10
2. Heat the water and butter in a pan until it simmers.
Meanwhile, sift the flour and sugar into a mixing bowl. For the
3. Once the butter has melted and is bubbling, remove profiteroles:
from the heat and add the flour and sugar. Beat vigorously • 220ml water
with a wooden spoon to create a smooth, thick paste • 80g butter
which cleanly comes away from the side of the pan. • 100g plain flour
4. Add one egg at a time, continuing to beat until the • 2tbsp sugar
paste becomes smooth and develops a dropping • 3 eggs
consistency. Spoon one heaped tablespoon onto the • 100ml whipping
baking tray—leave a 4-5cm gap—and keep going in a grid cream
shape until all the mixture has been used. For the sauce:
5. Bake for 20 minutes until crisp and golden. Prick the • 200ml white
base with a cocktail stick or skewer and place on a cooling chocolate
rack. Whip the cream into soft peaks and when the • 75g butter
profiteroles are cool, pipe cream inside each one. • 200ml whipping
6. Finally, heat the white chocolate and butter over a pan cream
of simmering water. Once melted, stir in the cream and To serve:
drizzle the white chocolate sauce over the profiteroles. • summer berries

P HOTOGRA PHY BY TIM & ZOË HILL

 HOME & GARDEN
Scandi Simplicity
Embrace a pared-back way of life by introducing a clean
colour palette and minimalist styling into your interior
A
midst our busy, fast-paced
lives, it’s no surprise that we
find something deeply
appealing about the uncluttered
and understated qualities of Nordic
design. Scandinavian influences
have been inspiring the way we
decorate and furnish our
homes for decades and it’s
thanks to the sense of
tranquillity and calm that
this uncomplicated style can
bring to our lives.
A fresh, neutral colour
palette sets the backdrop for
a Scandi-inspired interior;
a mixture of white and grey
will ground the scheme
and help any room feel
instantly open and airy. Natural
touches, such as wooden elements,
will offer warmth to the look and can
be used to build up layers of interest
Homes and gardens
writer and stylist Cassie
Pryce specialises in
interior trends
and discovering new
season shopping
110 • AUGUST 2018
through texture, for example mixing
wooden flooring with faux fur shaggy
rugs and wooden furniture.
Following the Swedish notion of
lagom, meaning a balanced way of
living, it’s important to focus your
design around having a spacious
layout to allow plenty of room to
breathe. Avoid filling the
walls and floors with too
much furniture and
instead limit your choices
to only a few functional
pieces that you love and
which really make a
stand-alone statement.
Scandi design is
greatly influenced by
clean lines and
furniture often has a
contemporary, minimalist edge.
Room schemes can be effortlessly
styled with a curated collection of
key accessories to create a homely
vibe, yet without feeling over-
decorated. Try to keep surfaces
uncluttered by working clever
storage into each room and allow the
dialled-down décor to make your
home a sanctuary to escape to.
Understated
Elegance
Muuto Nerd bar stool, £395; Muuto unfold
pendant light in grey, £155, both Nest

0114 243 3000; nest.co.uk

HOME & GARDEN
Fake Your Way To
A Bigger Garden
Transform a gloomy outdoor
spot into a secret corner that
entices with its mystery; using
skillful illusory tricks
T
here is a great joy to be
gained from creating a
pleasing display through an
appropriate choice of plants,
one that satisfies the eyes, ears
and nose. Since many gardens
are smaller than their owners
would like, any device that
gives an illusion of greater
space has much to recommend
it and is worth incorporating
into a garden design.
One of the first steps to take
is to lower the surrounding
boundaries, thus bringing more
sight of the sky into the garden
and making it feel less enclosed. But
while open space overhead makes a
garden feel bigger, at ground level
things work a little differently.
A garden seen in its entirety at
one glance seems smaller than one
where some parts are out of
immediate view. A number of
smaller areas can be delineated by
hedges, by tall shrubs, by or fences;
perhaps of decorative trelliswork
lightly dressed with climbers. Such
areas can be furnished with seats,
which are best placed against a wall
112 • AUGUST 2018
or hedge, as people instinctively
prefer to sit with their backs to
something solid.
One way of increasing the
impression of length in a rectangular
plot is to introduce beds which
narrow at the far end of the garden;
a pathway of paving slabs of
decreasing size reinforces the
illusion. Clipped shapes in these
borders will attract and hold the eye,
making the viewer take longer to
cover the whole area, while
planting small-leaved foliage plants
at the garden’s end makes it seem
further away.
Every gardener is interested in
colour, but its effect in a garden
landscape is not always
appreciated. Usually, bright
colours that clamour for attention
have the potential to destroy a
larger effect, so quieter tones are
often preferable throughout most
of the garden.
Where to place your plants:
• Plant cordylines, yuccas and phormiums
either close to the viewer or far away to
arrest the eye.
• To emphasise length, place bold and large-
leaved plants close to the viewing point.
• Put exotic evergreens that have large,
dramatic leaf shapes on a patio to draw
you instantly to a sitting area and to give
it a tropical feel.
 FASHION & BEAUTY

Let Your resin, silk tassels, cheerful pompoms,

or a luxury metal. They can be

Ears Do
asymmetrical or matching. They just
need to have presence and impact.
The only "rule" is that the more

The Talking
petite you are, the smaller your
statement earring may need to be;
you want to wear the earring rather
than have it wear you. Also, when

T
he easiest, quickest, and
cheapest way to modernise
any outfit is by adding the
right pair of earrings. It's not subtle,
dainty earrings, but bold, colourful,
Joan-Miró-is-my-muse kind of
earrings that have impact.
Choose a colour that flatters
you as a starting point
and go from there.
Good quality basic
clothes that are already
in your wardrobe, like a
shift dress or a cashmere
jumper, are the perfect foil
for transformational
statement earrings.
Changing the focal point
with earrings can make
the whole outfit look
completely different.
Your statement earrings can be
made of bright enamel, colourful
Lisa Lennkh is a banker
turned fashion writer,
stylist and blogger. Her
blog, The Sequinist,
focuses on sparkle and
statement style for
midlife women
wearing a statement earring, pay
more attention to your lipstick.
A brighter-than-usual finished lip
looks more balanced when you're
bringing extra attention to your face
via earrings.
Statement or not, I can't
stand the feeling of heavy
earrings, so I always
look for ones that
make a big impact but
are still incredibly light
to wear. Few brands do
this better than
Yorkshire-based Toolally.
Their handmade earrings
are colourful, acrylic, and
light as a feather. Marks
and Spencer also deserve
top marks for their summer
earrings; they look well
above their price point and most
are very light and wearable. My other
go-to brand for earrings is J Crew;
they usually have an impressively
well-curated selection.
Despite my love of all things shiny,
I like to avoid too much sparkle on
a daytime statement earring to avoid
veering into Pat Butcher territory.

114 • AUGUST 2018


The only exception I'd make to this
is if the earring is in the fine or demi-
fine jewellery category. London
brand ADOR by Ayesha does
amethyst, rose quartz, and multi-
coloured jade earrings which have
a restrained elegant glimmer rather
than a brash rhinestone sparkle.
Besides heavy earrings, my
personal bugbear is an earring
where the piercing is not covered,
like a wire or fish hook style earring.
Gravity and time have not been kind
to my earlobes, so I prefer something
that covers them as much as
HEALTH
possible, like the style I'm wearing
above. I only buy things that have
longevity, whether they're a trend or
not. I know I'll enjoy wearing
earrings that don't draw attention
to my creased earlobes since the
situation is unlikely to improve with
the passing of time!
Be prepared for your statement
earrings to become a conversation
starter. Ordering a coffee or paying
for book, they will be noticed and
likely complimented. Sometimes
it's nice to let your ears do the talking
for a change!
AUGUST 2018 • 115
FA S H I O N & B E A U T Y

Is Your
Skin Getting
Enough Water?
Summer can leave skin dry, but
Jenessa Williams is on hand
with her top tips for keeping
your complexion hydrated

I
t's our earth’s lifesource and
the oldest beauty trick there is
—but are you really getting
enough H2O? Although many of us
preach the cosmetic benefits of water
consumption, there's actually very
little scientific evidence to suggest
that it's the answer when it comes to
creating the perfect complexion.
Drinking your eight glasses a day is
certainly responsible for clearing
toxins, fuelling cells and maintaining
good health, but keeping your skin
hydrated can be a little more complex
than simply downing liquids.
Contrary to popular belief, the level
of moisture your skin can retain is
dependent on genes and your skin
lipid barrier. Sun exposure, alcohol
consumption and overly long or hot
baths all affect the lipid layer, making
summer a particularly hard time on
our faces. Dehydration can have
potentially serious consequences, so if
your complexion is looking a little
tired, consider adding some extra
H2O into your beauty routine.
Water-heavy creams and serums
work wonders to stimulate blood flow
and plump the skin, reducing the
appearance of wrinkles and providing
a smoother base for make-up. Face
mists can also be a welcome refresh
when the heat is getting too much, as
are water primers. Apply liberally
before bed, or keep in your hand
luggage for long haul flights. The
higher the aqua content, the more
your face will thank you for it.
Hero Products
Elf Prep & Hydrate
Balm, £9 for 15ml
Clinique Moisture
Surge Face Spray,
£22.50 for 125ml
Tarte Drink of H2O
Hydrating Boost,
£30 for 50ml

116 • AUGUST 2018


Fighting Fatigue contains:
Feeling a little tired
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dayismoreandmoredifficultasweage,
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The majority of over 50s are failing to get the
recommended amount of key vitamins and
minerals from their diet alone. As many of these
micronutrients are involved in our energy pro-
ducing metabolism, then it’s possible that this is
the reason why you may be feeling tired.
Prime Fifty have formulated a range of metic-
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A set of special minerals which also are
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Additional nutrients which have been
proven to help the ageing gut absorb vita-
mins/minerals more effectively, together
with Co-enzyme Q10
An additional ‘healthy ageing blend’ which
is designed to give you back a selection of
key nutrients, identified in studies, as key
to our health, especially as we age. This
includes vitamin D, calcium, folate, iron
and the B12 Vitamin
A careful selection of anti-oxidants
such as selenium and vitamin E are also
included to help protect against cell
damage caused by the ageing process
(oxidative stress)
HHHHH
COLD WAR
Polish director Paweł Pawlikowski
follows his Oscar-winning Ida with a
harrowing story of doomed love
To classify Cold War as a mere “drama
film” would be such a gross
understatement—after all, Paweł
Pawlikowski embodies that particular
brand of genius that elevates cinema
to the realms of cathartic poetry and
profound balladry—a gift he shares
with the likes of Tarkovsky, Bergman or
Haneke. When it comes to these kinds
of film, standard terms and brackets
simply don’t apply anymore.
Cold War follows the lives of two star-
crossed lovers, Zula and Wiktor, over the
course of a few decades, spanning
several countries. Their story begins in
118 • AUGUST 2018
post-war Poland where they first meet;
her—a boisterous young singer/dancer,
him—an older, collected pianist.
Sparks fly, and soon the two artists find
themselves desperately in love with
each other—an affair they both know is
too dangerous to maintain.
Joanna Kulig and Tomasz Kot, who
portray the couple, don’t falter for a split
second under the ever-present (often
literal) spotlight, and deliver stunningly
honest, nuanced performances set to
© CURZON ARTIF ICIAL EYE
the elegantly pristine, theatrical
cinematography of Łukasz Zal,
Pawlikowski’s frequent collaborator.
Top it all off with amazing music,
combining rousing Polish folk with
romantic Parisian jazz, and you’ve got
yourself one knockout of a movie.
READERSDIGEST.CO.U K/C U LT U RE / F I L M
 FILMS
HHHHH
DRAMA: THE CHILDREN ACT
If there’s one thing you’ll take
away from this stately
courtroom drama based on
an Ian McEwan novel, it’s that
Emma Thompson can do no
wrong. Here, she plays a whip-
smart, widely admired judge
dealing with an ethically
complex case concerning a
gravely ill young man, while her
marriage to her increasingly
frustrated husband (Stanley characters delivering strings of banalities
Tucci) is slowly falling apart behind the disguised as dialogue), The Children Act
scenes. Though the narrative will remains a surprisingly watchable movie
probably have you rolling your eyes time thanks to Tucci’s sheer charisma and the
and again (think painfully pretentious wonder that is Thompson .

HHHHH
FANTASY: SICILIAN GHOST STORY Any
filmmaker can re-tell a true story. But it
takes real talent and skill to take one, and
© ENTERTA INM ENT ONE / VERTI GO RELEASI NG / ALTI TUDE FI LMS

tell it in a way that completely flips it on

its head—which is exactly the case with
this Italian gem. Based on a tragic story of
a boy kidnapped by the Sicilian mafia,
this drama manages to tell a brutal, true-
HHHHH crime story in an imaginative language
ROMANCE: THE MISEDUCATION OF infused with the magic of
CAMERON POST Set in the hostile world fairytales, the thrill of first love
of a gay conversion therapy centre, it’s hard and the terror of nightmares.
to believe how tender, sweet and funny this Featuring astounding
film is. A clever musing on youth and performances and gorgeous
sexuality, Miseducation tells the story of a cinematography, it’s a genre-
teenage girl who, following an incident bending tale that’ll linger
that shocks her conservative parents, is with you long after the
sent to the centre for “treatment.” credits roll.
Despite the heavy subject matter, the film
is charming and light on its feet. by Eva Mackevic

119
 TELEVISION

MORTIMER & WHITEHOUSE: GONE

xx
MARK KERMODE’S SECRETS OF
CINEMA (BBC4; BBC IPLAYER)
What is it? Britain’s most trusted film
critic oversees five hour-long shows
that promise to explain the hold certain
movies and genres have over us.
Why should I watch it? Informed arts
programming is pitifully lacking from
the schedules—and informed film
programming, in particular, is
practically non-existent. Partly shot
around London’s wondrous Cinema
Museum with input from critic’s critic
Kim Newman, this series comes as a
necessary corrective.
FISHING (BBC2; BBC IPLAYER)
What is it? Comedy born of near-
tragedy: in 2015, Bob Mortimer was
rushed in for emergency heart surgery
after doctors discovered 95 per cent of
his arteries were blocked. Three years
down the line, Fast Show mainstay
Paul Whitehouse tempts him outside
to reflect on the experience over six
weekly fishing expeditions.
Why should I watch it? For its
affectionate portrait of friendship,
some glorious scenery and the chance
to spend three hours watching two of
the nation’s funniest messing about
by a river.
Best episode? The entire series is
consistently, gently
amusing—but only
Episode One can
boast Mortimer’s
priceless, two-
thirds-accurate
Robert DeNiro
impersonation.
by Mike McCahill

WHAT TO STREAM THIS MONTH:

EVIL GENIUS (NETFLIX) AN EVENING YOU WILL UNBREAKABLE KIMMY

A gripping, unnerving FORGET FOR THE REST SCHMIDT: SEASON 4
© ADA M PROSS ER

four-part doc exploring OF YOUR LIFE (NETFLIX) (NETFLIX) The show

how a pizza delivery man Steve Martin and Martin unleashing a latter-day
in Pennsylvania ended up Short lay on the old-school Pollyanna on New York’s
in a carpark with a bomb razzle-dazzle in this live concrete jungle comes
around his neck. stage performance. back with a sharper edge.

120 • AUGUST 2018 R E A D E R S D E R S D I G E ST.CO.U K /C U LT U R E / F I L M

 MUSIC

ALBUM OF THE MONTH:

VIVALDI X2 BY ADRIAN CHANDLER AND LA
SERENISSIMA If Baroque music is something
you’ve always planned to get into but never got
past The Four Seasons, here’s your perfect
opportunity. From the same brilliant pen of
Antonio Vivaldi, comes a majestic, life-affirming
collection of double concertos—a genre he
excelled in—bursting with the glorious,
uplifting tones of strings, oboes and bassoons,
and adorned with the uniquely beautiful sounds
of such period instruments as viola d’amore and lute.
The works are performed here by violinist Adrian Chandler—a leading
interpreter of Italian Baroque music—and his period instrument ensemble, La
Serenissima. Together, they deliver these vivacious concertos with great gusto and
virtuosity, emphasising their versatility and dynamism, as they alternate between
impish playfulness and dignified solemnity.
Not only do these works showcase Vivaldi-the composer at the absolute top of
his game, but they also reveal Vivaldi-the poet, attuned to the joys and hardships of
the human condition, creating music that remains the perfect tonic for the soul
centuries later.

by Eva Mackevic

READER RADAR: PAUL PIKE, RETIRED RISK MANAGEMENT LEADER

WATCHING: NATURAL WORLD: ONLINE: FACEBOOK

BBC2 I enjoy nature I’m a fan if used prudently,
programmes, in particular it’s a great way to keep in
David Attenborough and the contact with fellow players
Natural World series. I do also from my football team as well
watch Peppa Pig under direction as former work colleagues.
of my grandchildren!
LISTENING: CLASSICAL MUSIC
READING: A MOMENT OF WAR BY I have a preference for Debussy,
LAURIE LEE I also enjoy reading books Léo Delibes and Ludovico Einaudi.
in Spanish and French and am currently I’m also intrigued by phone-in
reading Noticia de un Secuestro by football debates on national radio
Gabriel Garciá Márquez. and the rich diversity of opinions.

E M A I L YO U R R E CO M M E N DAT I O N S TO R E A D E R S L E T T E R S @ R E A D E R S D I G E ST.CO.U K
 BOOKS
August Fiction
This month two historical dramas take us on
a thrilling journey back in time…
The Silence of the Girls
by Pat Barker (Hamish Hamilton,
£18.99)
Pat Barker made her name writing
about overlooked, often mistreated
women. She then moved on to war,
with the deservedly prize-laden
Regeneration trilogy, about the
traumatised soldiers of the Western
Front. Now, she’s combined the two
subjects in a blistering novel that
views the Trojan War through the
unfamiliar medium of female eyes.
The book begins as it means to go
on—which is to say quite brutally.
The narrator is Briseis, queen of a
small town near Troy that’s attacked
by the Greeks. The men and boys are
slaughtered; the woman and girls
carried off as slaves or—if they’re
pretty enough—concubines. Aged 19,
James Walton is a
book reviewer and
broadcaster, and has
written and presented
17 series of the BBC
Radio 4 literary quiz
The Write Stuff
122 • AUGUST 2018
Briseis’ own fate is to be
made a bed-mate to
Achilles, the man who’s
just killed her husband
and brothers—and who,
from close-up, proves to
be a deeply strange,
mother-fixated psychopath.
Along with the hair-raising war
scenes, Barker provides a thoroughly-
imagined account of life in the Greek
camp. But of course, the subject of
powerful men exploiting powerless
women also has a topical resonance
that, as Barker admits, she didn’t
expect to provide when she embarked
on a novel set in the Bronze Age.
Prague Spring
by Simon Mawer (Little Brown,
£18.99)
Fans of Robert Harris wondering what
to read while they wait for his next
book could do a lot worse than
Prague Spring: a cracking fictional tale
set in a beautifully-researched (and
very well-chosen) slice of history.
The setting is Prague in 1968 where

the Czech experiment to
build “socialism with a
human face” means
people can now speak
their mind about life
under Communism. But
for how long? Sam, a
diplomat at the British embassy, has a
local girlfriend—which gives him
admiring access to those Czechs
revelling in the new freedoms,
confident they won’t be reversed. On
the other hand, he’s getting reports of
Soviet troops massing on the border.
Meanwhile, two Oxford students have
hitch-hiked to the city, naively
believing they’re there to witness the
triumph of the good guys.
Needless to say, the reader is
always aware that the political and
social excitement Mawer captures so
well was tragically misplaced. Yet,
knowing more than the characters do
only serves to crank up the tension—
and tomake their optimism all the
more heart-rending—as the climactic
invasion approaches.
Name the author
Can you guess the writer from these clues
(the fewer you need the better)?
1. She’s the only Canadian woman to have
won the Booker Prize.
2. The copyright to her books is owned by
“O.W. Toad”—an anagram of her surname
3. One of her novels, set in a version of
America called Gilead, has become a
global TV hit. Answer on p128
READER’S DIGEST
Paperbacks
The Story of Kullervo
by J.R.R. Tolkien (HarperCollins,
£8.99)
Previously unpublished work, written
while he was still at university. Perhaps
a book only for die-hard Tolkien fans—
but there are plenty of those.
The Secret Teacher
by Anonymous (Faber, £8.99)
An idealistic young teacher spills the
beans on what really goes in a less-
than-ideal school.
The Lightkeeper’s Daughters
by Jean Pendziwol (W&N, £8.99)
Extremely moving novel about an
elderly woman discovering her father’s
journals—and secrets.
The Abolition of Britain
by Peter Hitchens (Bloomsbury,
£16.99)
Updated, if rather pricey, edition of
Hitchens’s characteristically crunching
account of what’s gone wrong in
Britain since the Second World War—
which turns out to be quite a lot.
Fierce
by Gin Phillips (Black Swan, £7.99)
A mother and her four-year-old son are
trapped in a zoo by random shooters in
a thriller guaranteed to make the heart
pound and the palms sweat.
AUGUST 2018 • 123
BOOKS

RD’S RECOMMENDED READ

Babes In Arms
A portrait of a forgotten Britain is painted in this republished memoir
of a 1950s Warwickshire health visitor .

T
his is a great discovery. In
2001, Molly Corbally self-
published a memoir about her
career as a health visitor in
Warwickshire in the first decades of
the NHS. The book was then found
a few years after her death in 2012—
and at last gets the wider audience
it deserves.
As the new publishers presumably
noticed, An Armful of Babies has
much of the appeal of Call the Midwife—
but, thanks to its rural setting, also
that of James Herriot’s books.
Molly’s duties, in fact, started just
when the midwife’s ended. Once sad, some funny, some surprisingly
local babies were 10 days old, she tough, and none at all remotely
took over as their main carer, making sentimental—except maybe the ones
regular visits until they were five, and about her dogs. (The book,
keeping in touch with the families incidentally, also proves that the
long after that. As a result, she has breast versus bottle debate has been
lots of terrific stories to tell, some raging for at least 70 years.)
Along the way, we get a
An Armful of Babies wonderfully intimate sense of
and a Cup of Tea: The everyday life in a now-vanished
Memoirs of a 1950s Britain. One of the most memorable
Health Visitor by Molly characters here is the fearsome
Corbally is published Lady Merlin, who as the resident
by Two Roads at £7.99 aristocrat in the village of Chesford
both expected and received due

124 • AUGUST 2018


deference from the ordinary folk
(although she often met her match in
Molly). And if you think the gap
between urban and rural England is
wide now, then try this passage—
which shows, too, just how no-
nonsense Molly could be.
After the wartime bombing of
Coventry, homeless families from the
city were put up in a supposedly
temporary camp of Nissen huts near
Chesford. In the event, they
remained there for many years—and
clearly had to work quite hard to
learn country ways…
‘‘
After five years, the camp dwellers
had more or less been assimilated
into the life of the village. A new
generation of children had been
born in Chesford who had no
memories of Coventry, and the older
children were losing their fear of the
wide open spaces, learning country
lore and country manners,
identifying birds and trees and wild
flowers, recognising the difference
between mushrooms and toadstools,
shutting gates behind them as they
plucked up courage to walk through
a field of cows or sheep, and
touching their caps to the gentry in
the village street.
Some never did lose their fear of
cows, never acclimatised to rural life
and drifted back to Coventry as soon
as they left school. Some women, in
the early days, had complained of
the silence, missing the constant
READER’S DIGEST
Mothers & Fathers
The local priest arrives at a clinic
session in Chesford church hall
A large black form appeared in
the doorway, his pipe temporarily
replaced by a cup of tea. The room
lit up, the toddlers ran to him,
grabbing at his cassock, forcing
him to put down his cup to pick
them up in turn, tossing them in his
arms to squeals of joy. Lady Merlin
looked horrified.
“Really, Father! I don’t think this
is quite the place for a priest. One
of the mothers might be feeding
her baby.”
The priest was tickling the bare
tummy of a baby boy. He didn’t
look up.
“Everywhere is the right place for
a priest.’”
I had a handful of baby so
couldn’t shake hands, but we
exchanged smiles.
“If I can be of any help to you,” he
said, “you’ll know where to find me.’”
A slight wink and movement of
the grey, tonsured head indicated a
possible cause
for needing
his help.
AUGUST 2018 • 125
 BOOKS
hum of traffic. Others complained of
the noise, of being woken by a
cockerel from a nearby farm, their
sleep disturbed by the hooting of a
barn owl, the lowing of a cow which
had lost her calf, the barking of a
dog—even, unbelievably, the singing
of a nightingale. Gradually they
adjusted, and were drawn into the
life of Chesford, joining the WI,
learning to make jam, to bake bread,
to skin a rabbit and pluck a fowl.
Although Lady Merlin had
vigorously opposed the siting of
the camp in “her” village, she had
to accept the fait accompli, even
inviting “the foreigners” to the
annual harvest lunch in her barn.
She had to concede that many of
the camp children were brighter
and quicker and better workers
than the cottagers, but it was almost
akin to a physical hurt to her, at
the school prize-giving, to hand
some of the highest awards to the
Coventry children.
The wide range of ability and
accomplishment among the camp
children reflected the wide range in
And the
name of the
© 2015 LARRY D. MOORE
author is…
Margaret Atwood, author
of The Handmaid’s Tale.
(Her Booker winner was
The Blind Assassin)
126 • AUGUST 2018
“Many people think
a hut is a hut…until
they look inside”
their living conditions. Many people
might think that a hut is a hut, until
they looked inside, as I so frequently
did. Some were dark, dirty, sparsely
furnished with broken-down odds
and ends; neglected slums. Others
were gay and bright, charmingly
furnished homes, clean and shining
with carefully tended little gardens.
There was as much variety in the
hutted homes as there was among
the housewives who ran them.
They were always a bone of
contention between me and my
friend, the housing manager. Man-
like, he tended to take pity on the
slum dwellers, and was apt to offer
them the council houses as they
became vacant.
“They’re living like pigs,” he would
argue. “We can’t leave them in such
appalling conditions.”
“They make their own conditions,”
I pointed out. “These women would
turn a new house into a slum within
months. Give your houses to those
who deserve them, the house-proud
women who can transform a hut into
a palace.”
’’
I won my point, and the council
houses were allocated as a reward
for good housekeeping.
Books
THAT CHANGED MY LIFE
Actor, author and former MP
Gyles Brandreth is performing at the
Edinburgh Fringe Festival between
August 1 and 26 with his one-man
show, Break A Leg!
The Concise
Oxford Dictionary
When I went to
boarding school aged
ten, my parents packed
my uniform, a copy of
the Bible and a
dictionary. I spent my time immersed
in the dictionary rather than the Bible
and my life rather reflects that. Being
a methodical chap I started at A,
discovering on the way through that
“brandreth” is a substructure of piles
of stones and that “yex”—a useful
Scrabble word—is a hiccup. Thanks
to that dictionary I’m the most prolific
person in Dictionary Corner on
Countdown and I can avoid
repetition on Just a Minute.
Memories and
Adventures
BY SIR ARTHUR
CONAN DOYLE
One of the best things
about being an MP was
using The House of
Commons library. During all-night
FOR MORE, GO TO READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/CULTURE
sittings I’d take myself off to the
books that weren’t about politics.
Here I found Conan Doyle’s
autobiography in which he describes
meeting Oscar Wilde and their
subsequent friendship. Conan Doyle
was bowled over by Wilde’s charm
and way with words. I thought it all
fascinating and began writing The
Oscar Wilde Murder Mystery Series
in which he and Conan Doyle solve
Victorian crimes.
The 7 Secrets of Happiness
BY GYLES BRANDRETH
Researching and writing
this book changed my
life. I lost my seat as an
MP in 1997 and I took it
hard. My best friend had
died the year before and
soon after my sister and brother both
passed away. I’d heard Dr Anthony
Clare on Radio 4’s In the Psychiatrists
Chair and went to meet him in
Dublin. He taught me the unexpected
secrets to a contented life.
As told to Caroline Hutton
AUGUST 2018 • 127
Sun, Sea And
Savvy Tech
From real-time translation to the good old Swiss
Army knife, Olly Mann brings us the low-down on
the gadgets you need to pack for your holiday
H
eading off on your hols?
A foldable alarm clock and
travel adaptor won’t cut it any
more… it’s time to get gadget-ready!
STRAP YOURSELF INTO A SCREEN.
Liven up the departure lounge by
mounting an Oculus Go (£199.95) to
your bonce and blasting your
eyeballs with colours and light. After
years of hype, the VR headset that
caused Mark Zuckerberg to part with
$2bn is finally available on the high
street, at a reasonable price, and as a
lightweight “standalone” unit, ie, it
doesn’t need to be docked to a PC,
phone or games console. Immerse
Olly Mann presents
Four Thought for
BBC Radio 4, and
the award-winning
podcasts The Modern
Mann and Answer
Me This!
128 • AUGUST 2018
yourself in breathtaking digital
worlds—or just watch Netflix without
people peering at your screen.
LEAVE YOUR CAMERA AT HOME
Thanks to its exclusive tie-up with
photography powerhouse Leica,
Chinese manufacturer Huawei has a
reputation for excellent camera-
phones, and has raised the bar with
the new Huawei P20 Pro (£799). The
“tri-camera” system proffers a 40
megapixel main lens, 20MP
monochrome sensor for depth and
texture, and an 8MP sensor for
zooming. That’s three lenses for the
price of one, and the results are the
best snaps I’ve ever seen on a phone.
SPEAK A FOREIGN LANGUAGE
IN REAL-TIME
Google Pixel Buds (£159) are wireless
Bluetooth earphones with a
difference: tap the right earbud, speak

out loud and they’ll translate your
thoughts into one of 40 supported
languages. So, you can say, “Where’s
the campsite?” (or something less
redolent of a GCSE oral exam), and
they’ll instantly display a translation
of your words, on your synced
handset, for Johnny Foreigner. But be
warned: they only work with Google
Pixel phones, and it’s such an eye-
catching concept that—as in the early
days of video-calling—you inevitably
spend half your time talking about the
technology itself rather than using it.
TECHNOLOGY
BE PREPARED
Sometimes, despite your best efforts
to leave work at home, you
absolutely need to engage with some
cruddy PC in a hotel business suite.
Do it in style with the Victorinox
Midnite Manager@Work Swiss Army
knife (£50). There’s a removable
16GB USB stick in that iconic red
casing, alongside ten much more
entertaining functions, such as
scissors, ballpoint pen, nail file and…
a bottle opener. Well, it is holiday
time after all.
MAY 2018 • 129
 FUN & GAMES

You Couldn’t Make It Up

Win £30 for your true, funny stories! Go to readersdigest.
co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

I WAS HELPING OUT at my church

Sunday school recently. The children
were drawing and I noticed one child
was particularly deep in concentration.
I asked him what he was drawing
and he told me it was Jesus. The
child next to him piped up that we
didn't know what Jesus looked like.
The boy looked at him for a minute
and then retorted, "Well, you will
when I've finished!"
SHONA LLOYD, C l w y d

MY DAD FELL OFF HIS garden

ladder and became very dazed. We
decided to take into A&E to get him
checked out.
The first thing the nurse did was
ask him what day it was to determine
his coherency.
My dad retorted without hesitation,
"It's refuse collection day."
AMBER JACOBS, Fr o d s h a m
“The flight is delayed, and so is Summer!”
As the lights were dimmed and
silence ensued, Miranda's voice
could be loudly heard singing,
"Happy birthday to you...happy
birthday to you…" Much to the
enjoyment of the congregation.
CARTOON: GUTO DIAS

MY FRIEND KELLY TOOK her
daughter to their local church for the
vicar's leaving service. The choir sang
as they walked down the aisle, all
holding large white lit candles.
CATHERINE HISCOX, He r t f o rd s h i r e
MY FOUR-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER
—as well as being a complete
chatterbox—is the queen of the
dramatic sigh. When being hurried

130 • AUGUST 2018


along getting dressed for school one
morning she took a deep breath, then
caught my eye and said, “I wasn’t
going to sigh Mummy, I was just
filling my lungs with air. Sometimes
you need to do that you know."
LYNNE BARTON, x x x
MY GRANDCHILDREN ARE staying
with me at the moment, which is a
real treat.
During lunch last week, Rachael
was sitting next to me and I noticed
that she was watching me very
carefully. Suddenly her little hand
came up and she gently stroked my
wrinkled face. "Grandma, what is
wrong with your skin?" she asked.
In the afternoon I was talking to
her brother Joshua, a clever boy with
many interests. I mentioned that he
would probably go to university later
in life. Joshua looked straight into
my face and said without any
hesitation: "Grandma, I expect you
will be dead by then."
How refreshingly straight and
honest children can be!
HANNELORE DE BURGH, He r e f o rd s h i r e
MY TEENAGE BROTHER ROB
phoned our mum to complain that
there was no food in the house again.
She said she was sorry but that she'd
been busy. He continued, "There's not
even bread."
And then in more exasperated
tones, "Even prisoners have bread."
DEMI ROBERTS, l l a n b e d r
READER’S DIGEST
ON HOLIDAY IN WALES, our
landlady showed us around and said,
"Unfortunately my toilets are out of
order, but not to worry, my
neighbour's happy for you to use his.
There's just one thing—it'll cost each
of you two pounds."
Indignant, I asked, "He'll charge us
two pounds each just to use his toilet?"
"Heavens no! That's the bus fare—
he's two miles down the road!"
DAVID WEBB, We s t S u s s e x
I READ THAT ONE OF the ways to
stay motivated with weight loss is to
put an unflattering picture of yourself
on the fridge, so I asked my partner to
take a couple of photos of me in my
underwear. We went to the self service
printing machine in our local chemist,
but it wasn't working. The owner
came over and restarted the machine
but insisted on staying with us to
make sure it was working OK.
We watched in horror as half-naked
photos of me at my worst flashed up
on the screen. Nobody spoke but in
an instant my weight-loss motivation
soared! ANN JOHNSON, C h e s h i r e
YEARS AGO I WORKED as a hotel
porter and spotted a middle aged
man entering reception with a much
younger women. I rushed over asking,
"May I carry your wife's bags?"
Glaring at him, the woman
snapped, "You didn't tell me she was
going to be here?"
BRIAN ALDEN, B r i s t o l
AUGUST 2018 • 131
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 FUN AND GAMES

IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR

Word Power
Before you start cramming your suitcase for that dream getaway,
make sure you’ve got the travel lingo down. Take a tour of these
terms, then jet to the next page for answers

BY EM ILY COX & H E NRY RATH VO N

1. docent n.—A: tour guide. 9. sabbatical n.—A: break

B: side trip. C: frequent flier.
2. sojourn v.—A: travel nonstop.
B: take a guided tour. C: stay
somewhere temporarily.
3. cosmopolitan adj.—A: between
stops. B: worldly-wise. C: relating to
space travel.
4. prix fixe n.—A: confirmed
reservation. B: meal with a set price.
C: racing car.
5. couchette n.—A: round-trip
ticket. B: French pastry. C: train’s
sleeping compartment.
from work. B: lodging overseas.
C: seating upgrade.
10. ramada n.—A: shelter with
open sides. B: dude ranch.
C: in-house maid service.
11. incidental adj.—A: waiting
in a long line. B: minor. C: causing
a scandal.
12. transient adj.—A: going by rail.
B: passing through. C: travelling
on foot.
13. manifest n.—A: red-eye flight.
B: reservation. C: passenger list.

6. funicular n.—A: pleasure cruise. 14. rack rate n.—A: overhead-

B: cable railway. C: limousine.
7. jitney n.—A: day trip. B: duty-free
shop. C: small bus.
8. valise n.—A: car parker. B: small
suitcase. C: country cottage.
luggage charge. B: takeoff speed.
C: full price for lodging.
15. peripatetic adj.—A: speaking
many languages. B: travelling freely
from place to place. C: crossing
a border
AUGUST 2018 • 133
WORD POWER

Answers
1. docent—[A] tour guide. I followed month sabbatical,” I tried to explain
a docent through the museum, to the customs agent.
pretending to be with a school group.
10. ramada—[A] shelter with open
2. sojourn—[C] stay temporarily. sides. My ideal vacation: sipping
“Will you sojourn with us long?” some colourful cocktails at the
asked the receptionist as I reclined seaside under a ramada.
on a bench.
11. incidental—[B] minor.
3. cosmopolitan—[B] worldly-wise. “Incidental items can add weight
Apparently, Sara wasn’t cosmopolitan quickly, so try to pack wisely,” my
enough for the best tables. wife advised.
4. prix fixe—[B] meal with a set 12. transient—[B] passing through.
price. Alison knew it was a prix fixe, Thankfully, the brute was a transient
but she tried to haggle anyway. customer, not a permanent guest.
5. couchette—[C] train’s sleeping 13. manifest—[C] passenger list.
compartment. My couchette mates I came from such a big family, we
snored peacefully in their bunks. had to keep an official manifest for
6. funicular—[B] cable railway.
every trip.
The funicular disappeared into the 14. rack rate—[C] full price for
mist halfway up the mountain. lodging. Savvy travellers will never
7. jitney—[C] small
settle for a hotel’s
bus. We chartered rack rate.
WORD OF THE DAY*
a jitney for our trip 15. peripatetic—
to the cape. CONTUMELIOUS: someone [B] travelling
who is insolent, or
8. valise—[B]
from place to
arrogantly rude
small suitcase. and disrespectful. place. After two
Eric grew suspicious peripatetic years
after finding Alternative suggestions: in South Asia,
someone else’s Jason decided
“When your tummy to settle down.
credentials in grows continuously”
his valise.
VOCABULARY
9. sabbatical—[A] “The sublime feeling after RATINGS
eating a cantaloupe” 9 & below: Economy
break from work.
10–12: Business class
“I’m here on a six-
13–15: First class

134 • AUGUST 2018 *POST YOUR DEFINITIONS EVERY DAY AT FACEBOOK.COM/READERSDIGESTUK


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 FUN & GAMES

Brainteasers
Challenge yourself by solving these puzzles,
then check your answers on page 139.

(SKYSCRAPERS) FRASER SIMPSON; (THE OLD CLOCK) MARCEL DANESI ; (THE TREASURE OF SAN PELIGRO) DARREN RIGBY
SKYSCRAPERS 4
This grid represents a bird’s-eye view of a city’s
3
downtown core. Place a number from 1 to
5—representing a building’s height in floors— 5
in each cell so that no two buildings in any
row or column have the same height. The 4
numbers outside the grid tell you how many
buildings are visible to an observer looking
in from that direction. Higher buildings block
the view of lower ones behind them. Can you
3
determine the heights of all 25 buildings?

THE OLD CLOCK

Dina bought an antique grandfather clock at a garage sale. It strikes
the hour every hour, and runs on the am/pm system, not the 24-
hour system. How many strikes does it sound per day?

THE TREASURE OF SAN PELIGRO

You arrive at the fabled archipelago of San
Peligro and consult your treasure map, which
says, “Dig exactly halfway between the palm
on Sharkfin Island and the palm on Cannon-
fire Island.” Palm trees are marked on the map
as dots, but none of the islands have names!
If you believe the pirate lore that it’s too much
trouble to bury your treasure anywhere but
on dry land, where should you dig?

136 • AUGUST 2018

 READER’S DIGEST

AMBER, BLUE, CRIMSON

Populate this grid with circles, squares
and triangles in three colours (amber,
blue and crimson), each in a separate cell,
C according to the following constraints:
nNo combination of shape and colour
appears more than once. There must
not be two blue circles, for example.
B
n The row and column marked with
arrows contain three coloured shapes.
A A A The rest contain two.
n No shape or colour can be repeated
B B B in the same row or column.
(AMBER, BLUE, CRIMSON) DARREN RIGBY; (1-2-3 GO) RODERICK KIMBALL OF ENIGAMI.FUN

C C C Some information has been given to get

you started.

1-2-3 GO
3
Fill in the circles to draw a
single, continuous loop that
1 2
follows each line segment
2 1 2
once and only once. As you
move along, every corner
3 1
and every junction you pass
1 2 3
is the beginning of a new
segment. The loop must
3 2 1 3
trace segments in
3 2
numerical order; that is,
3
“1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3...”
Each circle can be filled in
1 2 1
one of three ways:
2 1

AUGUST 2018 • 137

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

14 15 16

17 18 19 CROSSWISE
Test your
20 21
general
22 23 24 knowledge.
Answers
25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32
on p142
33 34 35 36

37 38 39 40 41

42 43 44 45 46

47 48 49 50

51 52 53

54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61

62 53 63

64 65 66

67 68 69

ACROSS 53 Prefix for present 19 Busted

01 Sow’s spouse 54 Gym dandies? 23 No longer
5 Send to another club 58 Some regatta teams 25 Canine command
10 Amberjack’s cousin 62 1965 civil-rights 26 The Magic Flute is one
14 Piece of the farm demonstrators 27 Flight section
15 Brought in 64 Mannered behavior 28 Like a fork or a trident
16 Sushi fish 65 Somewhere in Time star 30 Like composition paper
17 New York Harbour sight 66 1982 Jeff Bridges film 31 Treasure stash
20 Old ones die hard, they say 67 Legendary seamstress 32 Gave a darn?
21 Plato’s teacher 68 “Slammin’ Sammy” of golf 35 Relief carving
22 Hayworth of film 69 Exercise units 38 Like newborns
24 Plane for quick takeoffs 40 Hit the nail on the head
25 Weather Channel guess DOWN 43 Took a line out
29 Minis/maxis 01 Whoop-de-do 45 Stampede stimulus
33 Center or cycle opener 02 Twice tetra- 48 Takes the roadster out
34 Playful prank 03 Kaffiyeh wearer 50 Work shift for some
36 Become used to 04 Sack out 52 Sana’a is its capital
37 “Angels in the Snow” pianist 05 Stephen King novel 54 At a distance
39 Alice in Wonderland cat 06 2016 Olympic city 55 Certain chamber group
41 Tingling 08 Cyclades island 56 Not his
42 Religion 09 Pronouncements 57 Hook’s underling
44 Update boundaries 10 Thievery 59 Roll response
46 Halloween, for one 11 Brusque 60 Compete in the Breeders
47 Globetrootter’s home 12 Feed the kitty Crown
49 Insisted 13 Calendar squares 61 Nine-digit IDs
51 Red herring, e.g. 18 Central New York city 63 Palindromic name
 READER’S DIGEST

Brainteasers: Answers
SKYSCRAPERS £50 PRIZE QUESTION
4
3 2 3 5 1 4
5 4 3 2 1 5 Answer published in
1 5 4 3 2 4 the September issue
4 2 1 5 3
3 1 2 4 5 These letters can be rearranged to
3 form two different nine-letter
words. What are they?
THE OLD CLOCK
156 strikes.
THE TREASURE OF SAN PELIGRO
SHORT RACE
0

AMBER, BLUE, CRIMSON The first correct answer

we pick in August wins
C B £50!* Email excerpts@
A readersdigest.co.uk
C
C B A

B A

1-2-3 GO
3
ANSWER TO JULY’S
1 2 PRIZE QUESTION
2 1 2
3 1
1 2 3
3 2 1 3 FALLACIOUS
3 2
3
AND THE £50 GOES TO…
1 2 1
Trevor Johnson,
2 1 Wolverhampton

AUGUST 2018 • 139

 FUN & GAMES

Laugh!
Win £30 for every reader’s joke we publish! Go to readersdigest.
co.uk/contact-us or facebook.com/readersdigestuk

THEY SAY TRUE HAPPINESS comes I DON’T KNOW HOW TO use the
from within. word “hypothetical” in a sentence.
That’s why I never go outside. But imagine if I did…
SEEN ON TWITTER SEEN ON REDDIT

I HAVE A FRIEND WHO’S a LAST NIGHT I BLEW £500 on a

weatherman. When he tells me that
he wants to hang out I tell him
there’s a 100 per cent chance that I’ll
be there, and then I don’t show up.
COMEDIAN DAN REGAN
I PLAY THE BANJO and there’s a big
difference between banjos and guitars.
The banjo has a round pot and it
projects the sound outward, and the
guitar can get you laid.
COMEDIAN STEVE MARTIN
reincarnation seminar.
I just thought to myself, Screw it.
You only live once.
COMEDIAN JONATHAN KATZ
I DON’T UNDERSTAND why people
choose to use personal trainers.
I’ve never been exercising and
suddenly thought, Man, I wish the
hottest person I’ve ever seen was here
criticising me right now.
COMEDIAN ARJUN BANERJE

Funny Furries
These photos are shortlisters for
the Comedy Wildlife Photograph
Awards—and it’s easy to see why
(via sadanduseless.com)

140 • AUGUST 2018


YOU CAN’T ACTUALLY LOSE a
homing pigeon. If your homing
pigeon doesn’t come back, then what
you’ve lost is a pigeon.
COMEDIAN SARAH PASCOE
POSH HOTELS OFFER A turn-down
service. I had never heard of this and
there was a knock at the door and a
woman said, “I’ve come to turn down
your bed.”
I replied, “Well many women have
in the past, why should you be any
different?” COMEDIAN MICHAEL MCINTYRE
I’M TRYING HARD TO QUIT
smoking. I’ve kicked everything else—
drink and drugs—but smoking’s the
toughest one. There’s not enough
immediate regret is there? “Oh my god
what was I thinking? I’ve made getting
up stairs pretty difficult in 30 years
time.” COMEDIAN BRENDON BURNS
IT’S IMPORTANT TO LIVE YOUR
life by a motto. I choose to live mine
by the motto, “My enemy’s enemy is
my friend.”
Unfortunately, as it turns out, my
READER’S DIGEST
enemy is his own worst enemy. So
now I have to invite him to barbecues.
COMEDIAN RICHARD HERRING
IF ADAM AND EVE couldn’t make it
work in paradise, how the hell am I
supposed to make it work in
Lewisham? COMEDIAN SARAH PASCOE
IF WE WERE TRULY CREATED by
Gods, why do we occasionally bite the
inside of our own mouths?
COMEDIAN DARA O’BRIEN
I’VE WRITTEN A LETTER of
complaint to the Royal Mail about my
post being stolen.
To make sure that they see it, I’ve
put it inside a birthday card.
COMEDIAN GARY DELANEY
I LOOK AT HUSBANDS the same way
that I look at tattoos.
I want one, but I can’t decide which
one I want, and I don’t want to be
stuck with one I’m just going to grow
to hate and have to pay lots of money
to get surgically removed later.
COMEDIAN MARGARET CHO
AUGUST 2018 • 141
LAUGH

I WAS ARRESTED AT THE AIRPORT for

Well smearing someone’s luggage with Vaseline.

It’s okay though, the police dropped the case.
Aisle TRACY DAVIDSON, Wa r w i c k s h i r e

Never IN THE PAST FEW MONTHS, I’ve become

Tweeters reveal their big
day balls ups:
@CergCarrell: “My aunt
had her wedding by a lake
and a couple of guys kept
driving past on a boat
yelling,
‘Don’t do it man!’ “
@Val_Rob: “While
preparing for my
wedding, my dad kept
referring to Save the
Dates as ‘STDs.’ ”
@PassThePinot: “A dead
bird was in front of the
church so none of the first
generation Italian family
came in because they
thought we were cursed’ “
@Laura_Ann_04: “During
my cousin’s wedding, the
pastor kept pronouncing
her name as ‘Corn.’ Her
name is Corinne.”
religious. I’ve started to believe in God,
creationism and design. The reason I now
believe is Professor Richard Dawkins.
When I look at something as complex and
intricate and beautiful as Professor Richard
Dawkins, I don’t think that could have
evolved by chance!
Professor Richard Dawkins was put there
by God to test us. Like fossils. And facts.
COMEDIAN STEWART LEE
MY WIFE TOLD ME THAT sex is better
on holiday.
That wasn’t a nice postcard to receive.
COMEDIAN JOEL DOMMETT
I USED TO WORK AT MCDONALD’S making
minimum wage.
Do you know what that means, when
someone pays you minimum wage? Do you
know what your boss is trying to say?
Your boss is trying to tell you, “Hey, if I
could pay you less, I would. But it’s literally
against the law for me to do so.”
COMEDIAN CHRIS ROCK

CROSSWORD ANSWERS
Across: 1 Boar 5 Trade 10 Scad 14 Acre 15 Hired 16 Tuna 17 Statue Of Liberty 20 Habits
21 Socrates 22 Rita 24 Stol 25 Forecast 29 Skirts 33 Epi 34 Antic 36 Enure 37 Tesh 39 Dinah
41 Glow 42 Creed 44 Remp 46 Eve 47 Harlem 49 Demanded 51 Ploy 53 Omni 54 Athletes
58 Eights 62 Freedom Marchers 64 Airs 65 Reeve 66 Tron 67 Ross 68 Snead 69 Sets
Down: 1 Bash 2 Octa 3 Arab 4 Retire 5 The Stand 6 Rio 7 Arfs 8 Delos 9 Edicts 10 Stealing
11 Curt 12 Ante 13 Days 18 Utica 19 Broke 23 Astir 25 Fetch 26 Opera 27 Riser 28 Tined
30 Ruled 31 Trove 32 Sewed 35 Cameo 38 Helpless 40 Hammered 43 Deled 45 Panic 48
Motors 50 Nights 52 Yemen 54 Afar 55 Trio 56 Hers 57 Smee 59 Here 60 Trot 61 Ssns 63 Ava
60
FUN & GAMES
-Second
Stand-Up
We chatted to the relatable and
hilarious stand-up comedian,
Zoe Lyons
WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE OF
YOUR OWN JOKES? “I started
keeping bees, I’ve got one that got
caught behind the window and
I thought sod it, I’ll keep that.” It’s
such a silly joke because, they never
stipulate how many [bees] you’ve
got to have.
WHO INSPIRES YOUR COMEDY?
I think life events. I’m an
observational comedian. It’s finding
those things that are slightly less
obvious but when you do say them
people can connect.
WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE
ONE-LINER? A Wind In The Willows
joke by Gary Delaney “Last night I had
to get toad home because Ratty and
Moley were too drunk”.
DO YOU HAVE ANY FUNNY TALES
ABOUT A TIME YOU BOMBED ON
STAGE? I agreed to do this outdoor
festival for half an hour and had a very
loose ten minutes at most. I just
thought, I’ll be fine I’m sure I can get
FOR MORE, GO TO READERSDIGEST.CO.UK/INSPIRE/HUMOUR
away with it but I didn’t. I was
ceremoniously booed off. It stays with
you for a while.
IF YOU WERE A FLY ON THE WALL,
WHOSE WALL WOULD YOU BE ON?
I’d like to be a fly in Buckingham Palace
and just have a peruse. But only so long
as there was a window cracked open so
I could escape to the garden.
HAVE YOU FOUND ANY PARTS OF
THE WORLD TO BE FUNNIER THAN
OTHERS? I lived in Glasgow for many
years and it’s such a funny city. I think
it’s their use of language—the rhythm
at which they speak—there’s a sort of
poetry to it. They’re very energetic
people and they enjoy their comedy.
Entry Level Human will be at Gilded
Balloon Dining Room throughout August
as part of Edinburgh Fringe, and on tour
nationwide from September. Get tickets
at zoelyons.co.uk
AUGUST 2018 • 143
 LAUGH

Beat the Cartoonist! In the

September
Issue

Interview:
John Hannah
The actor on fatherhood,
Think of a witty caption for this cartoon—the learning to take criticism
three best suggestions, along with the cartoonist’s and his latest project,
original, will be posted on our website in mid- sci-fi flick, Genesis.
August. If your entry gets the most votes, you’ll
win £50.
Submit to captions@readersdigest.co.uk or online
at readersdigest.co.uk/caption by August 9. We’ll
announce the winner in our October issue.

June’s Winner
Our cartoonist trailed
in last position this
Controlling
month with his the Weather
caption: “I don’t Will humankind one
know what it is, but day be able to harness
nature’s forces?
CARTOONS: JAM ES GRIFF ITHS

something about
them really gives me
the creeps.” This
month’s crown goes Plus
instead to our reader • BEST OF BRITISH:
Sian Morgan, who won with an impressive 47 per BREWERIES
cent of the vote. Her caption: “Oh no! He’s been We take you on a tour
sunbathing behind the seaweed again.” got you all of our nation’s best
voting. Congratulations Sian! home-grown hops.

144 • AUGUST 2018

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