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copiously using glitter Dobby's tiny asshole Number 4 Privet Drive,

Little Whinging, Surrey

the awkward moment watching dragons having a worse love life

when you have no idea breed than Aragog
who You-Know-Who is

tearing off your nipples using magic to enslave drunk Seamus

in a Ministry accident your classmates
horcruxes quaffing unicorn blood having sex with a
to stay youthful werewolf

a squirrel patronus magical bondage Dobby's sock

performing anal on the the immense pain of a being made to come six
Knight Bus werewolf times over
the difference between finding shit Lily Potter
book Ron Weasley and
movie Ron Weasley

Fawkes dark magic the Triwizard


James Potter’s Gryffindork Peeves finding you

delicious arsehole masturbating
denying your partner getting a blowjob from being a House Elf
orgasm and watching the monster book of
them squirm monsters

networking at the Slug Slimy Slytherins dragon pox


putting smegma in the blowing Dumbledore Hufflepuff getting

pumpkin juice whilst he’s speaking to Hufflefucked out of the
the Minister of Magic House Cup
shitting out a Horcrux Ron's broken wand Lucius Malfoy’s
luscious locks

using the Quibber as Molly Weasley a winged key going up

toilet paper Arthur Weasley’s anus

Snape and McGonagall "How To Please Your snorting Floo Powder

making passionate love Wizard's Wand" by
Fiona Hardick
Colin Creevey sneaking all the muggles, trusting the Dark Lord
into the hospital wing mudbloods and squibs not to off you the
to give Harry a blowjob second you become

trying to ignore the a tiny unicorn something that can

tittering from the burn, sting, bite and
portraits you suck all at once
masturbate in front of

Hermione’s bush(y hair) crappy Harry Potter the Goblet Of Fire

pick up lines
Hedwig’s corpse Slughorn drugging Madame Rosmerta's
students luscious tits

transfiguration actually learning a leaky wand

something because
Harry Potter has

the magical equivalent Randy House-elves pornographic daydream

of social networking charms
shoving a bezoar down a disorganized a beaded bag that
your throat Gryffindor orgy contains everything
you need

going to Beauxbatons baby mandrakes the Cruciatus Curse

breaking every single Unforgivable Curses being Hogwarts'

rule and only getting a that are used in a headmaster
light scolding totally forgivable way
snorting Floo Powder putting my basilisk in dead parents
your Chamber of

the Noble and Most Dennis Creevy Rufus Scrimageour's

Ancient House of Black sexily stern demeanour

Godric Gryffindor's losing your wand and my useless friend Ron

body hair using your dick instead Weasley
Hagrid and Aragog Godric Gryffindor's the luscious Lucius
cuddling skeleton Malfoy

using a broom as a being dead Lily and James Potters'

dildo graves

drawing Severus Snape all those cute couples accidentally blowing up

like one of your French strolling around a relative who insulted
girls your mom
masochistic House Pureblooded dick hardcore BDSM in the
Elves Room of Requirement

regretting all the ships Gryffindor SECTUMSEMPRA!

that never sailed

a private ticket to the braiding one's hair with a Firebolt

Weasley’s Wizard black ribbon
Wheezes back room
fucking your best stupid bastard Potter Bill Weasley
friend's sister

off-screen death of your Dumbledore saying it eating Dumbledore's

favorite characters wrong beard to gain his power

eating floating a howler sext a good ol' virgin

cupcakes sacrifice
Ron Weasley’s super going to St Mungo's to ethnic cleansing
buff keeper bod have your wand
removed from an orifice
it should not be inside

wands to finish off Slughorn’s Club for Charlie Weasley

Voldemort little boys

unicorn meat the Killing Curse the prefects bathroom

a penis pump being denied orgasm a Hungarian Horntail
for over an hour

being a Veela Christmas baubles Charlie Weasley giving

adorned with Harry up quidditch to 'chase
Potter's face dragons'

cat food Beetles eyes the rest of the

gangbanging Peter
Dobby being so boring you Hermione Granger's left
don't even notice you're breast

oppressing goblins Draco in leather pants dancing with a

Quidditch World Cup
player instead of a thick

Oliver’s wood wearing a miniskirt The function of a

rubber duck
Harry Potter as a sexy ancient runes spanking your partner
French maid so hard they cry

Wormtail keeping a house-elf sized coffin blaming the nargles

James’ dick as a

Kingsley Shacklebolt Lavender Brown's furry taking nudes with Colin

looking classy as fuck little problem Creevey
bringing a pet to school Organizing a Slytherin the Dark Lord
that's neither a rat, cat, orgy Moldysnot's Booger
nor toad Pickers

Hagrid's butt crack practicing Wingardium the (lack of) money in

Leviosa on yourself the Weasleys' bank

placing an undetectable not how I planned this Pureblood inbreeding

extension charm on day, I'll be honest
Cho Chang’s vagina
Ron turning down the casual sex under the murdering Goblins
offer of a blowjob from Whomping Willow

five Lizards No more, dragon aids Granger danger

no less

a dildo wand Mad-Eye Moody looking Madame Maxime’s

through your shirt jumbo tampons
a mysterious ticking the Sword of Godric Hermione Granger in a
noise Gryffindor, glittering fursuit
with rubies

the Whomping Willow Ravenclaw Ron and Hermione in

in a thunder storm the back of the Ford

knowing that Snape is an old grumpy wizard Fenrir Greyback’s inner

still a massive tool that refuses to wear thighs
all the dirty things that enchanted sex toys singing "I killed Sirius
ever happened in the Black" over and over
Room of Requirements

Gryffindor's sword Hogwarts fucking a flobberworm

Victor Krum’s man accidently killing your Cormac McLaggen's

meat sister busy hands
Lavender Brown's polishing your wand a horde of angry
illustrious porn career centaurs

a magical full body an incestual Weasley Amortentia

orgasm orgy

the hideous drapes using Mr Weasley’s shaving one's penis

around the Gryffindor plugs inappropriately (carefully)
reading thousands of crossdressing Fleur Delacoeur

freshly cut grass you have your mother's using a time-turner to

eyes become your own

marathon sex sessions a troll in the sex Dumbledore, the half-

dungeon dead
wizard sex ed the sexiness of Severus Snape's pale
someone's Animagus but fairly thick prick

owl pellets Fred and George licking her Bertie Botts

throwing snowballs at every flavoured bean

giving your baby Gurdyroot tea Draco Malfoy’s

brother a life-long questionable sexuality
phobia of spiders
the Infamous Hogwarts getting drunk so often that tingling sensation
Jaguar that your remembrall is you get when you see
permanently red Sirius Black transform

Kingsley Shacklebolt Petunia Dursley’s queef the token muggle born

Hermione Granger my furry little problem riding a winged,

undead horse you can't
getting fucked by so a gassy thestral thinking Jigglypuff is a
many people your Hogwarts house
stomach sloshes

finding out your Movie Sirius Black Cornelius goddamn

Patronus is a sea Fudge

that fucking Harry sex on top of the Harry's "wand"

Potter epilogue Marauder's map
Horklump fondling traditional romance Cedric’s cold corpse

a big fucking snake Dumbledore's joining a prison gang

questionable hiring while in Azkaban

accidentally turning Hermione sprouting a Hagrid dick pic

yourself into a furry tentacles
rearing children for the Whomping Willow's being violated by a
sacrificial death burly branches hippogriff

hearing all the cool getting fucked from Dobby spanking Winky
stuff all the other behind by Fenrir with a sock
characters do while Greyback
some teenage wizards
camp out in the forest
for 400 pages

Dolores Umbridge’s Bellatrix Black's pussy inbred wizard rednecks

saggy tits
forgetting all about Helga Hufflepuff's milking the prostate
Peeves bosom

a love potion Portkeys Dudley Dursley washed

up on a beach

Luna Lovegood naked Dumbledore hugging the Dark Lord

riding bareback on
Firenze with Bane
shoving a horn up his
the systematic Percy Weasley taking it Bathilda Bagshot's
enslavement of House up the butt rotten, smelly house

spit-roasting Kreacher Professors playing drawling your own dark

favorites mark

a trophy that is also a Lucius Malfoy's sex Lily Evans cursing your
Portkey appeal genitals
dressing Padfoot in how gorgeous Blaise candies that make you
people clothes Zabini is sick for some reason

twincest teaching wizards how George Weasley

to code looking into the mirror
of Erised and seeing

conservative values receiving a tender the Durmstrang

blowjob Institute
daydream charms used Auguries shitty quality Harry
for sexual purposes Potter memes

an egg that screams or magically induced a cool, cool motorcycle

sings depending on its lactation

a jumper knitted Penelope Clearwater's Polyjuice prostitutes

cleverly by Molly taste in men
snogging all over the LeviOsa not LeviosA a wizarding school in
Hogwarts grounds the middle of fucking

slapping your partner the Room of broomstick drag racing

across the face Requirement

"Scabbers" the Rat one hundred duck- eating a hippogriff

sized Hippogriffs
a raucous rendition of the way Dumbledore's the dozens of Weasley
"Weasley is Our King" balls dangle around his children
knees, at this point

being excused from getting ripped apart by the Shrieking Shack

being a bully because vampires
you're conventionally

the stuff Hagrid finds in fucking bowtruckles James Potter playing

his beard seeker terribly
inter-house romances despising Muggles Alan Rickman

the sexual tendencies Peeves up to his usual Neville Motherfucking

of werewolves antics Longbottom, that's who

Cornelius Fudge's lime Professor McGonagall’s the savior of the

green bowler hat overused sex toys wizarding world
assigning all the bad wizard sleeves hidden teen pregnancy
seeds to one house

basilisks that make you Severus Snape whining forcing children to live
rock hard all the time about the friendzone in cupboards

Neville Longcock Troll boggeys waiting until the end of

the school year to
actually try and kill
not letting most Ron Weasley's freckled a flying motorbike that
species use wands penis can shoot dragon fire

sexy times Harry Potter's wizards incorrectly

cockblocking skill dressed as muggles

a fistful of Floo Powder Swishing and flicking Alastor Moody's mad

waving a Gryffindor toilet seats my hopes and dreams
flag in public

appearing naked on the Slytherin vomiting slugs for

cover of Witch Weekly hours

Snape the potions Beauxbaton’s nipple hiding your nudity

master hats behind a thestral
accidently blowing up a Kingsley Shacklebolt's the Hog's Head
relative that insulted fancy clothes
your mother

gallivanting around becoming immortal at using roofies in place

with a werewolf while the price of your nose of a love potion
disguised as a stag

Voldemort's nipple polishing your wand submissive Hufflepuffs

attending Durmstrang fucking Rita Skeeter interspecies
over a table lovemaking

Arthur Weasley, Priori Incantatem a terrible godmother

fascinated by Muggle

a penis that swings Lavender Brown terrorizing sheep

with the rhythm of a spanking Ron Weasley
Marlene McKinnon Wet dreams starring taking a non-regulation
your best friend’s sister pet to Hogwarts

extremely large breasts JK Rowling's new book Oliver Wood's special


not-so-secretly wishing Lucius Malfoy's transfiguring your dick

you were at Hogwarts aristocratic penis into an actual parrot
using the Elder Wand an army of kneazles achieving one's
as anal beads creature inheritance

being a Parselmouth a surprising lack of Neville’s grandmother


a strong fetish for Beauxbatons Academy spending years in

gingers of Magic Azkaban
seeing things from a penis Patronus Hagrid, wanking to
Slughorn’s perspective pictures of his dragon

having to explain to an evening out with Mrs being Percy Weasley in

Madam Pomfrey why Norris the streets but being
you used engorgio on Bill between the sheets
your dick

Daniel Radcliffe's penis the ticking clock of all getting down like a
our limited lives Hippogriff
Felix Felicis Charlie Weasley's arms seven minutes in
heaven with Voldemort

having an iguana for a Ginny Weasley naked Vernon Dursley’s fat

Patronus on a broom fucking face

kilos upon kilos of thousands of wizards Death Eaters

being sorted into Rowena Ravenclaw's Mollywobbles
Gryffindor clever fingers

that scene where Draco talking dirty in Sirius Black's

took a bite out of an Parseltongue indescribable sexual
apple in Harry Potter magnetism

using a dick as a crying because of a hutch of racing

portkey Hedwig pigeons
Ron’s sweaty hands pumpkin juice and Ashwinders

Arthur, Molly, Bill, Ron's rat actually being the sexual tension
Charlie, Percy, Fred, a man between Harry and
George, Ron, and Hermoine
Ginny Weasley

shaving one's legs eating to feel better Severus Snape

whispering to 'turn to
page 394'
vague connotations of an unauthorized a slender, 13-inch wand
child abuse biography written by
Rita Skeeter

ghost rape Padma Patil the Sorting Hat

Hufflepuff charging $100 for being sorted into

Moaning Myrtle’s tears Hufflepuff
the two different guys the seeker saying things in a mild
playing Dumbledore tone as if you're not a
fucking bitch

the hundreds of cats in selling muggle drugs to Bertha Jorkin’s meat

the halls of Hogwarts students as candy curtains

Voldemort hiding your mother's love and your father's love and
underneath my turban affection affection
the entire Gryffindor using an unforgivable Frogspawn
Quidditch team curse for sexual
pleasure gain

old, bearded St Mungo’s cure for the Warlock's Hairy

puppetmasters penis warts Heart

shagging a centaur Ollivander's tiny, tiny tapping that ass

being a love potion The Whomping Willow spicy dragon cum

Rupert Grint's ice despising magic the feeling you get

cream truck when you ride a
broomstick for the first

gnome beauty hot Veela fantasies Billy Weasley

Vernon Dursley's the ghetto that is the the Marauders' Map
inevitable heart attack Weasley house

watching Purebloods an unrequited love The Elder Swear

wince at the triangle
provocative nature of
muggle clothing

Rogue lethifolds a dick shaped scar on scantily clad goblins

your head
giving Slughorn a Albus Dumbledore's looking into the Mirror
blowjob to get Potions big black dick of Erised and seeing
extra credit only yourself

doing a contraceptive a dead Dobby making out with a

charm wrong and Dementor
making your dick turn

shitting out a Horcrux Draco 'poopy pants' a twitching clitoris

Harry yelling dozens of imps Tom Riddle’s huge
"EXPECTO snake
PATRONUM" before
turning into a stag

a name as mundane a Kingsley Shacklebolt Prongs

and unexciting as sex dream

Cedric Diggory's magical bras using a magical eye to

bloated corpse look through students
waking up with a giving the house-elves bruises
lightning bolt shaped a night off
scar on your cock

having gorgeous hair getting caught by your James Potter

roommate doing
inappropriate wand

having to talk to the pissing in Moaning Professor Umbridge's

disturbingly predatory Myrtle’s toilet unspeakable
Fenrir Greyback experience in the
Forbidden Forest
a Boggart that looks the sorting hat drunk actually paying
like blue waffle on it's own power attention in History of

time alone in the off-label use of Skele- Harry’s lesbian haircut

prefect bathroom Gro in movie 5

actual married couple the Shrieking Shack having one's dirty

Sirius and Remus laundry aired in The
Daily Prophet
a bigger, blacker Sirius dying just like Sirius a troll in her dungeon
Black Black

Dean Thomas a cake patronus Snape in drag

Ebony Dark'ness contraceptive charms a motherfucking stag

Dementia Raven Way
wizard porn Dumbledore’s last Filch's cat

Werewolf pornography some muggle device House Elves that

that vibrates perform sexual favors

Hagrid wearing a thong the Unforgiveables "Engorgio!"

leather trousers Percy’s flat, freckled dragon’s dildos

my wizard's staff dead people Albus Dumbledore's

long, soft beard

the Hufflepuff agenda Neville stroking his your worst fear

Mimbulus Mimbletonia
having sex on the so much under age sex masturbating to a
Knight Bus pensieve memory of
banging your ex

Snape's button Butterbeer Fleur’s steamy fart

Uncle Vernon reading Luna Lovegood's skills Padfoot

the Daily Mail in bed
breaking an fun times with the in- Peter Pettigrew
Unbreakable Vow laws!

an illegal magic carpet a hand-written letter fucking your best

that comprises of the friend’s sister because
word "twat" two he got the girl
hundred times in neat

a mad eye that can see Molly Weasley Fred and George's
through all cloaks freckly cocks
Salazar Slytherin’s using a Vanishing magically replacing
noble work Cabinet your brother's stuffed
animal with a spider

Giving Ton-Tongue a steaming bag of Dumbledore’s Gay

Toffee to your boyfriend hippogriff poo Army
before sex

1000 years of goblin Arthur Weasley riding a basilisk into

oppression battle
Filch's moth eaten tux covering an 10 points to
embarrassing erection Dumbledore!
with the sorting hat

very lacy a token black wizard Kreacher’s stained

undergarments loincloth

breeding dragons Lily Evans getting incestuous

crumple-horned Dolores Umbridge Peter Pettigrew's
Snorkacks being gangbanged by leftover finger

weird sorcererous getting a finger in the wizarding lingerie

kinks anus by a Dementor

“There’s no need to call I solemnly swear that I holding onto your wand
me, ‘Sir’ Professor” am up to no good for dear life
Barty Crouch Jr's using the time turner to shipping Luna and
tongue thing go back in time to fuck Neville

they will be missed using your safe-word Dolores Umbridge

Long boring speeches the Dementor's kiss using nicknames like

about love or some shit "Snuffles"
a vibrating battery- "you know who" never coming back
operated Nimbus 2000 from holiday in Albania

wishing you had a spending 48 hours with how hot Voldemort

Time-Turner so you the Dursleys to get used to be
could go back and kill some blood protection

shoelaces McGonagall's wrinkled Draco Malfoy's hair dye

an edition of Witch because Dumbledore getting fucked in the
Weekly said so arse

getting fucked by a Voldemort's nose decimating your

giant arsehole with
interspecies fun

classical Harry Potter betraying your friend to can you stop needing
erotica the Dark Lord people to die for you?
forcing an entire dressing like a filthy Mudblood
species to cook you Muggle
dinner and clean your

Voldemort's (lack of a) running around the Lavender Brown

nose Great Hall, casting
curses and screaming
like a Hungarian Horn-

gay wizards snorting Floo Powder licking out the labia

to go on a mental
James Potter playing Dobby watching you Wixen pornographic
with a snitch for no while you sleep magazines
discernible reason

pumpkin pasties Albus Dumbledore how sexy Tom Riddle

running naked in the used to be

memory charms getting drunk on Cho Chang’s yeast

butterbeer infection
Cedric Diggory Snape's diary drunken House Elves
drowning in pussy

getting gangbanged by enjoying getting a furry little problem

centaurs slapped in the face

having a Weasley load mischief managed the undoubtedly

of children dangerous hobby of
collecting rare dragon
wearing Neville's Blast-Ended Skrewts hiding Hermione's
Gran's clothes breasts for one more

Percy Weasley's probity probes filling the house cup

freckled, tight arse with fire whiskey

waiting until my father the Forbidden Forest Harry Potter whining

hears about this like the little bitch he is
wwo thousand tickling sleeping deciding the Defense
defective broomsticks dragons Against the Dark Arts
Professor would be a
great move

Professor Slughorn catching the snitch in arousal potions

having explosive your vagina

wand envy “Fetus Deletus” having a Puffeskein for

a Patronus
Ron’s semen the depths of wizarding inappropriate snitch
Hell flesh memories

wearing nothing under Bellatrix blowing Tom Dolores Umbridge

your robes Riddle bathing in virgin’s

using Peruvian Instant an enchanted mirror someone with a bird

Darkness Powder to that calls you a fetish vising the owlery
snog in private dickhead
catching the Snitch a minimum-security Draco's apple
when your team is Azkaban where the
down 160 points inmates get
rehabilitated instead of

casting engorgio on Judas Black a happy little House Elf

your boobs

waking up next to magical nudes that Alastor Moody's third

Fenrir Greyback move wooden leg
“The emotional range tying one's hair up with being sorted into
of a teaspoon” ribbons Jigglypuff

getting lost in a giant's Rubeus Hagrid all your best friends

vagina dying

avoiding dunderheaded milking the snake Dumbledore's magical

morons with no talent wardrobe
for potions
accidentally having a chocolate frogs Severus Snape in PVC
signature move, like a
shitty, wizarding

a quidditch match that a scarf enchanted with getting your arse

lasts three years a dozen protective kicked by a tree

changing the Room of getting drunk with the overwhelming

Requirement into a sex Slughorn cuteness of Luna
dungeon Lovegood
Draco Malfoy in a sexy realising your pet rat is Rita Skeeter's Quick
nurse's outfit a demented killer Quotes Quill

Dumbledore entering a using a pensieve to being a particularly

Gandalf the grey relive an orgasm good finder
lookalike contest

Wixen sex education getting magically trying to speak

ejected from the girls' parseltongue with a lisp
a broomstick and some Daniel Radcliffe the old lady who sells
lube sweets on the
Hogwarts Express

Xenophilius being a spoilt brat hanging on the

Lovegood’s crackpipe telephone

House Elf cum Cedric Diggory using a jellylegs jinx on

your cock
Muggleborns making taking Hermione into Polyjuicing into an idiot
pop-culture references the bathroom to play
‘hide the basilisk’

being as shit at Well shit, there's a knife a young Albus

Quidditch as the in my chest Dumbledore
Chudley Cannons

chocolate an inappropriate goal sucking Dumbledore's

celebration in Quidditch cock
upgrading from owl getting into someone's Crookshanks
post to electronic mail Chamber of Secrets

Black Hermione giving Severus Snape fucking a House Elf

shampoo for Christmas

trying to get your Severus Snape 9 and ¾ inches

phone to work at
Hogwarts and
mutilating its circuitry
beyond all recognition
Pansy Parkinson cockroach clusters freckled testicles

Dean and Seamus – at random red-headed Babbity Rabbity's

the same time splinched twat floating Cackling Stump
in the Room of

annoying Gryffindors Salazar Slytherin's arse Dolores Umbridge

what Aberforth did with Cho Chang Drinking unicorn blood
that goat

Draco Malfoy's a report on cauldron Luna Lovegood losing

perfectly coiffed hair bottom thickness her clothes

the sound of Arthur and playing strip quidditch leather pants

Molly Weasley
shagging loudly in the
room next door
whipping out the Elder PANTILONIUS I shouldn’t have said
Wand POOPICUS! that

being a dick to children a Puffeskein with a breaking into Gringotts

taste for smegma

wizarding pornographic Voldemort’s snake Ginny Weasley

talking pictures Gilderoy Lockhart wearing glasses

Luna’s goblin testicle dressing like a punk firing red sparks into
earrings the air whilst balls deep
in the Triwizard Cup

Rowena Ravenclaw's playing wizards chess the real reason James

Diadem with your penis as the was called “Prongs”
George Weasley sexually explicit killing the ice cream
Howlers man just for giggles

Roonil Wazlib using transfiguration the colour orange

for punishment

a capable Defence Crookshanks, the the real reason Cho

Against the Dark Arts bandy-legged ginger Chang left China
Professor cat
Harry Potter's delicious sexting via owl asking the question: “Is
asshole it really bestiality?”

freshly fondled cornish sleeping with Wormtail Dobby's sock

pixies every night

a white peacock Ariana Dumbledore having sex with a

Remus Lupin’s pubes love potion rape pranks from Peeves

Ginny Weasley’s 16th Voldemort’s hairless naming kids after dead

birthday ballsack parents

using the invisibility Draco Malfoy's a very affectionate

cloak to sneak into the obviously bleached hair lethifold
girl’s bathroom
Snape teaching about a Nimbus 2000 pissing in someone’s
anal fisting with a Butterbeer

the Philosopher's Stone Rubeus Hagrid in a using a broomstick as

mankini marital aid

Amortentia Remus Lupin's sexy dancing naked in

librarian look Dobby’s tea cosy
fucking actual animals having to take your realizing that Neville is
while in your Animagus grandmother to St the hot one
form Mungo’s for a sex
related injury

conjuring dildos and giving Dobby used Remus Lupin's time of

making them attack underwear the month
your enemies

the shit names Harry waving around a stick Lupin and Tonks’ frigid
gave his kids corpses
Andromeda Tonks Draco Malfoy rolling on Remus Lupin's
the floor heterosexuality

Veela allure a little black dress Dirk Cresswell

being a florist Harry's dead parents being chased by Inferi

seeing Fred's reflection cooking with Snape's enchanted dildos
rather than his own hair grease

the systematic Severus Snape's Professor Quirrel

enslavement of House abnormally large nose

a feral runespoor Sirius’ sex partners Amelia Bones

using a Firebolt for potion-making the Chamber of Secrets

Bellatrix Lestrange constant vigilance Snape's hair grease

Bill Weasley's other making a ridiculously Winky's drinking

piercing over the top anagram of problem
your name
the Boy Who Lived the bland green colour JK Rowling giving all of
scheme of the Slytherin her money to charity,
common room and not being able to
afford her rent

emotional abuse Polyjuice potion Mrs Weasley’s fruitcake

induced furry sex

fucking in front of the Fountain of Fair wondering if Tonks'

portraits Fortune carpet match her
magical dick piercings Wormtail the Deathly Hallows

sexual secrecy Dementors that suck punching Malfoy in his

your soul out through white skinny face
your dick

having your dad as a thinking the Forbidden Hagrid's newest pet

Patronus Forest is a great
vacation spot
a flying car stealing Seamus a Cauldron Full of Hot,
Finnigan's lucky Strong Love

the last Wizard on earth my wand Voldemort's blank, flat


Toads. Thousands of forgetting to use Remus Lupin's wolfy

them ‘Reparo’ on your passions
pulling Godric a minimum-security a magical disappearing
Gryffindor's sword out Azkaban where the act
of my pants inmates get
rehabilitated instead of

George's missing ear crying because of Fred a twenty-foot-long


casual manipulation of a pointy hat a romantic date in the

the facts Chamber of Secrets
the eternal horror of the Hagrid Hufflepuff being the
worst monster: a stoner house
Muggle dentist

a sneaky handjob probably sex bending over the soap

in Azkaban

a Weasley's Wizarding the Golden Snatch not knowing your

Wheezes wet dream dragon is female
Hagrid's undoubtedly using a time turner to realising that fog is
huge penis have sex with your past Dementor jizz

ending slavery Madam Pomfrey Ron and Hermione’s

sex tape

the only Jew at seducing every single a shitload of

Hogwarts person on the Dungbombs
Hogwarts staff
the Giant Squid dry humping a setting things on fire
cardboard cutout of

10 points to Gryffindor King's Cross Station tricks and treats

Draco and Harry 69ing summoning underwear Severus Snape's

from the girls’ dorm inexplicable sex appeal
Snape, Snape, Severus Hagrid’s pubic hair Ludo Bagman

Padfoot's tendency to Merpeople fetish EXPELLIARMUS!

shed dog hair

using firearms or Sirius Black; the attempting to seduce

nuclear weapons world’s biggest drama Professor McGonagall
instead of magic queen
the Maurauders Pomona Sprout combing one's hair

Nox Floo powder power having a magical

accident that sends you
to St Mungo's

a bunch of spending time in spending an eternity in

Gryffinwhores and Dumbledore's office Azkaban
awkwardly sharing a a one-eyed witch with a James Potter’s stag
scone at Madam hump dick
Puddifoot's while your
date cries

turning a Nokia into dying so hard the only Professor Trelawney’s

your final Horcrux thing that's left is a drinking habit

enchanting erotic posters of motorcycles some bird named

pictures so that they and muggle women in Audrey
move bikinis
the Minister of Magic playing a rousing game being up a troll's arse
stood in a toilet of Quidditch

getting drunk on wearing a vibrator in the potential sexual

butterbeer Potions class application of being a

Oliver Wood, the Lumos actual dragon dildos

walking innuendo
skipping meals to read massive, massive dicks the uncomfortable fact
in the library of Hagrid's conception

Voldemort performing being sorted into Voldemort's noseless

the Dance of the Sugar Slytherin face
Plum Fairy

Dean Thomas' life like Professor McGonagall the lovechild of Donald

portraits feeding you biscuits Trump and Dolores
Peter Pettigrew calling Severus Snape Slytherin dungeon porn
a fuckboy

Lucius Malfoy clad in cradling the dead body the actual love triangle
French lingerie of the girl who rejected between Harry, Ron and
you in high school Hermione

the cupboard under the stop staring and kill the inappropriate
stairs fucking Dark Lord, oh Ravenclaws
my God, how are you
not dead yet?
Platform 9 ¾ flying under the a broken Sneakoscope

assuming all squibs are the Imperius Curse herbology


my father will hear the Sorting Hat's I figured my grade

about this! message of unity couldn't get any worse,
so why bother?
the Diagon Alley sex a secret room full of Dumbledore shitting all
shop dead students over a house-elf

Emma Watson becoming Minister for owning a small dragon


Harry’s limp wand being Harry freaking an undetectable

Potter extension charm
Voldemort’s noseless explaining basic a secret in class
face physics to wizards handjob

vomiting up slugs getting ridiculously the scarf of sexual

drunk preference

using Unforgivable AVADA KEDAVRA! He-Who-Must-Not-Be-

Curses on children Named
Hagrid and Madame the bizarre and horrific living in a large bird
Olympe Maxime’s sex ordeal that conceived cage
tape Rubeus Hagrid

the Polyjuice potion moaning like Myrtle Ron Weasley in a

beautiful blue dress

seducing Minerva buckets of gay sex absolutely nothing

inappropriate use of Fudge's green bowler getting baked with
one's Animagus form hat super strong enchanted
wizard weed

ringing the bell holding onto your wand Expectopatro-nads!

for dear life

Peter Pettigrew using swords in the Manticore cock

watching little boys bedroom
losing your glasses a sordid affair with losing the House Cup
Remus Lupin because Harry and his
friends went on another
fucking adventure

Harry Potter breaking Hermione’s ball gown Parseltonguing

just about every rule on the floor someone's
and getting 100 house trousersnake
points for it

a filthy mudblood Professor Umbridge's having a beautiful wand

experience in the
Forbidden Forest
herding thousands of a Sirius and Buckbeak taking note of Cormac
snakes into battle porno McLaggen’s girth

having an orgy with the pink robes sleeping with all the
entire Slytherin Weird Sisters
Quidditch team
After months of I overdosed on Felix Lucius Malfoy didn't
practicing magic, I Felicis and found realize he had actually
think I’m finally ready ________. given Dobby his
for ________. ________

After the Sorting Hat Tom Riddle was The Room of

was placed on his shocked when Ginny Requirement can turn
head, Harry did not began to write about into whatever you
expect the voice in his ________ in the Diary happen to need, for
ear to whisper example, just the other
________. day I found it full of

After a subtle mistake Weasley's Wizard While Harry was

in the brewing of the Wheezes has gotten struggling with
Polyjuice Potion, into a fair bit of trouble Occlumency, Snape got
Hermione was shocked regarding their sale of a glimpse of ________.
to find out she had ________.
turned into ________.
The whole party was Rita Skeeter is back Mr. Filch would like me
shocked to find with a scandalous to remind you that
________ in the article about ________. ________ is strictly off-
Lestrange's vault. limits.

Eye of rabbit, harp The next Triwizard ________ will be

string hum. Turn this Tournament has the teaching defense
water into ________. Champions battling against the dark arts
________. this year.

Many Hogwarts Filch has finally banned Moony, Wormtail,

students went to the ________ from the halls Padfoot and Prongs'
hospital wing with at Hogwarts. first invention,
complaints of ________, didn't go
________. quite as well.
________ is really Master has given Neville Longbottom
hidden in the Chamber Dobby ________! was surprised when he
of Secrets Dobby is free! reached into the
Sorting Hat and found

What's that spell? In retrospect, it was a The Ministry of Magic

________ replied dead giveaway when has just announced
Hermione. they said their that they have put a
Amortentia smelled like new tax on ________.

Inside my Chamber of Lucius Malfoy’s loves Damn! I forgot to do my

Secrets there is nothing more than ________ homework.
________. ________.
When you are done Slytherins are known ________ is probably a
with the Marauder's for their cunning, Horcrux.
Map, simply say cleverness and
________. ________.

Harry Potter must not Next from JK Rowling, When Ron got to the
go back to Hogwarts! “Harry Potter and the boggart, he was
He must ________. Order of ________”. surprised to find that it
had taken the shape of

Hogwarts school song In today's Charms Then Bellatrix

goes, "Hogwarts, lesson, I will teach you Lestrange cackled with
Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty the spell for ________. glee and said,
Hogwarts, ________. " ________.
Acceptable pets at Everyone laughed The only thing you can
Hogwarts include cats, when they found out say about Hufflepuffs is
owls and ________. Draco Malfoy's ________.
patronus was ________.

Gryffindors are well ________ is the real If Dumbledore hadn't

known for ________. reason that there won’t fallen for Grindlewald,
be another Harry Potter his second choice
book. would have been

When Ron Weasley When Daniel Radcliffe Before Filch became

isn't afraid of spiders isn't playing Cards the Hogwarts caretaker
he's afraid of ________. against Humanity he's he was ________.
________ is the heir of ________ is how I got The Room of
Slytherin. stains on the invisibility Requirement requires
cloak. more ________.

Deep within the bowels The newest mini game Madame Trelawney
of Gringotts, is a vault on Pottermore features sees ________ in your
filled with nothing but ________. future.

Upon puberty witches In truth Hagrid was My patronus

and wizards at really expelled from is________.
Hogwarts are taught to Hogwarts because of
avoid ________. ________.
Instead of using blood Before traveling by I see ________ in the
for ink Dolores toilet became the norm, mirror of erised.
Umbridge uses the Ministry used
________. ________ as a Portkey.

Word is that for 50 I found a ton of The Tri-Wizard

galleons you can ________ in the tournament was finally
purchase ________ restricted section. banned after having
from the trolley. ________ as a task.

When Wormtail forgets ________ is why Snape Voldemort's plan B

his Death Eater mask rhymes with rape. involved ________ and
he wears ________ on ________.
his face as a disguise.

Hermione also had a lot When no one is looking Moaning Myrtle moans
of ________ in her Professor McGonagall because of ________.
magic bag. transforms into

Honeydukes now offers The Room of The Hogwarts Express

________ covered in Requirement had just mysteriously stopped
________ . what I needed: at ________ this year to
________. pick up ________.


The Department of After overdosing on Polyjuice Potion

Mysteries is now Felix Felicis, I couldn't prepared with my hair
studying ________ to stop ________. tastes and smells like
improve the lives of ________.
Muggles and wizards
Educational Decree No. ________ IN THE ________ stinks!
45: The Ministry of DUNGEON! Thought Support ________, the
Magic names ________ you'd like to know. REAL Hogwarts
the new Head of Champion!


This book is the J.K. Rowling recently When I look in the

property of the Half- said she regrets forcing Mirror of Erised, I see
Blood ________. a relationship between myself ________.
________ and


There should be a new Don't miss Gilderoy My boggart is a

book that pairs Severus Lockhart's newest ________.
Snape and ________. book: ________ with

The worst Bertie Bott's ________ is such a No unicorn hair here.
Everyflavor Bean I ever Hufflepuff. My wand has a core
ate tasted like made of ________.

In an alternate version One of the least known Due to a security

of the epilogue, uses of dragon's blood breach, the new
Hermione Granger ends is ________. password for the
up with ________. prefects' bathroom is

The Marauders When she's not in her Ollivander considers

neglected to map the U-bend, Moaning Myrtle ________ an inferior
secret passage into can be found ________ material for
Hogwarts found in around Hogwarts. wandmaking.
Death Eater activity has HARRY, DID YOU PUT Next year's Yule Ball
been blamed for YOUR ________ IN THE will be DJed by
________. ________? ________.


The Misuse of Muggle Grawp finally learned a Due to dementor

Artifacts recently useful skill: ________. desertion, Azkaban will
punished some now be guarded by
Muggle-baiters for ________.

Never trust anything Moony, Wormtail, Neville Longbottom

that can think for itself Padfoot and Prong’s was surprised when he
if you can't see where it first invention, reached into the
keeps its ________. ________, didn’t go Sorting Hat and found
quite as well. ________.
The next Triwizard ________ will be Filch has finally banned
Tournament has the teaching Defense ________ from the halls
Champions battling Against the Dark Arts. at Hogwarts.

Lucius Malfoy didn’t Tom Riddle was Dumbledore has hidden

realise he had actually shocked when Ginny ________ in the Room
given Voldemort began to write about of Requirement.
________. ________ in the diary.

After a mistake in While Harry was Rita Skeeter is back

brewing the Polyjuice struggling with with a scandalous
Potion, Hermione Occlumency, Snape got article about ________.
turned into ________. a glimpse of ________.
Mr. Filch would like me The Quibbler rejected I would consider
to remind you that my story about ________ in exchange
________ is strictly off- ________. for a chocolate frog.

The lesser known Hogwart’s newest As a new rule, this year

Fourth brother brazenly detention: cleaning students are forbidden
asked Death for ________ by hand. to enter ________.

Eat ________ Malfoy! You’re going to get us Snape uses ________

________. Or worse, to style his hair.
I keep ________ in my Luna and Hagrid found Slytherin will help you
moleskin pouch. that they have a on the way to ________.
common interest in

________: bad enough The real reason Nick is It was a real surprise
to give Mad-Eye Moody only ‘nearly headless’ when my Boggart
nightmares. is because he was turned into ________.

And third, to Mr. Harry Professor Trelawney The rememberall kept

Potter for ________. I found ________ in my telling Neville that he
award Gryffindor house teacup. forgot about ________.
60 points.
Umbridge has been Next time you’ll have to Harry even tried
forcing people to write put ________ in the swallowing ________ to
lines that carved Goblet of Fire to win his next Quidditch
________ into their compete. match.

________ is now Pity the living Harry, I like beautiful

banned in the corridors and above all, pity evenings, long walks in
of Hogwarts. those without the Forbidden Forest
________. and ________ with a

If it weren’t for “Here,” Professor Lupin Fluffy goes right to

________, I wouldn’t said to Harry, handing sleep at the sound of
have spent that time in him ________. “Eat it. ________.
Azkaban. It’ll help.”
I saw you ________ on Death Eaters smell like Honeydukes now
the Maraunders Map ________. carries a candy that
last night with turns you into
________. ________.


Dolores Umbridge Accio ________! (It I can’t go to

made it her mission at came). Hogsmeade, I have 12
Hogwarts to crack scrolls about ________
down on ________. due tomorrow!

For 200 Chocolate After ________ The prefects go crazy

Frogs, the Slytherins Hermione knew she with ________ when
can arrange for had to choose Ron. everyone else is in bed.
________ to be
smuggled into the
Which came first, Remus Lupin’s guilty I’m sorry Professor, but
________ or ________? pleasure is ________. I couldn’t complete my
homework because I
was ________.


Education Decree ________ is not very I was banned from

Number Twenty-Seven: pureblood of you. playing Quidditch
________. because of ________.

The Fat Lady, drunk Voldemort split “Harry, please. You’re

with power, decided to ________ into 7 pieces. talking to the man who
change the password to raised ________.”
The lost tale of the ________is the reason You have your mother’s
Beedle the Bard: boys aren’t allowed in ________.
Babbity Rabbity and the girls’ dormitories.

I accidentally 50 points for getting “Look at what my father

transfigured ________ ________ through got me, it’s ________!”
into ________. Myrtle’s head. Draco bragged.


Mrs. Weasley’s I drink firewhisky to Snape finds ________

Christmas present from forget ________. disturbing yet oddly
Mr. Weasley was charming.
Tom Marvolo Riddle: I To me, Amortentia “Professor Slughorn,
am ________. smells like ________, sir, I wondered what
________, and you could tell me about
________. ________?”


Any wizard in his right Feels like firewhisky, Don’t miss Gilderoy
mind would be tastes like ________. Lockhart’s newest
ashamed of ________. book: ________ and


Grawp finally learned a ________ beyond I lost my wand inside

useful skill: ________. measure is man’s ________.
greatest treasure.
It is rumoured amongst Due to Dementors Who would have
Death Eaters that deserting Azkaban, it thought the Portkey
Voldemort secretly will now be guarded by would be ________?
enjoys ________. ________.

________ is the worst Next year’s Yule Ball Today we will be

thing a Ravenclaw has will feature ________. learning to ________.
ever been accused of

Dumbledore should I don’t know how I got it The newest

have never hidden but this ________ on Unforgivable Curse
________ from Harry for my forehead is pretty causes the inflicted to
so long. wicked. experience ________.
________ cannot be I never expected to find When Ginny thinks
penetrated by hand, ________ under about Harry’s penis,
vanished, parted, Proffesor McGonagall’s she can’t help but think
scooped up or robes. about ________.
siphoned away.

Bill Weasley really Hagrid removes the My attempt at a

struggles with sole item inside vault Philosopher’s Stone
________. 713: ________. changes ordinary metal
into ________.

I managed to lose our Mrs. Weasley calls Mr. After overdosing on

house 100 points by Weasley ________ Felix Felicis, I couldn’t
________. when they are alone stop ________.
There was a mass ________ will lie in the Because Ginny had six
break-out in Azkaban. I Chamber forever. brothers, she learned a
heard they used lot about ________.
________ to escape.

Dumbledore was Ron’s broken wand I never expected to take

secretly in love with accidentally Accio’d the form of a ________
________ all along. ________. when I became an

Moony, Wormtail, This year, the Hogwarts Professor Trelawney

Padfoot and ________. Express mysteriously actually correctly
stopped for ________. predicted ________.
Did you hear? There Quirrell is hiding Your new Charms
was an accident in ________ under his professor is ________.
Potions that resulted in turban.

In secret, Hermione ________: The latest Mudbloods are best

Granger goes to the flavour of beans. known for ________.
library to think about

The 'Doofus Maximus' Why weren't you in In his latest unorthodox

charm has the same potions?" asked Ron. adventure, Harry Potter
effect as ________. "________" Harry must face his fear of
replied. ________ to defeat

Dobby's last word(s) My friend lost his The thing made George
should have been house 75 points for Weasley cry most on
________. ________. his birthday was

If you ask me, ________ They call me the Harry ________ is the new
was the most useless Potter of ________. craze amongst teenage
character in the entire witches these days.

________ was part of Even ________ would Ew. No way, not even if
Professor Snape's daily have been a better you were ________.
routine. name than Albus
The number one 'awww' Snape died thinking Voldemort's animagus
worthy thing at ________. would be ________.
Hogwarts is ________.

________ is strictly This year at Hogwarts We won't lose to

forbidden in the I'm really looking Ravenclaw, Slytherin,
common room. forward to ________. or ________.

Everybody knows Freeze motherfuckers After Quidditch was

Hogwarts' biggest it's ________! cancelled, everyone
player is ________. turned to playing
I can't believe Harry After seven years, Lily ________: The lesser
Potter got away with Evans finally fell in love known, fifth house at
________. with James Potter after Hogwarts.

The only way to kill ________ only costs 7 My father will hear
Voldemort is ________. galleons. about ________.

Dumbledore was in love "No need to call me, Tom Riddle's next
with ________. ________ , Professor." Horcrux is ________.
Harry ________ Potter. Hermione ________ Ronald ________
Granger. Weasley.

Harry Potter and the "It's leviosa, not ________ is seriously

________ of ________. ________." not the weirdest thing
at Hogwarts.


"I'm going to bed, Harry is naming his "Why spiders? Why

before either of you next kid ________ couldn't it be ' ________
come up with another ________ Potter ?'"
clever idea to get us
killed or worse:
________ ."

My Patronus is J.K. Rowling recently In a peculiar turn of
________. said in an interview she events the new Bertie
regrets that ________ Bott Bean will taste like
and ________ didn't ________.
end up together.


In the latest Hogwarts As his first act as Slytherins are best

scandal, students have Minister of Magic, known for there
been found using Kingsley Shacklebolt cunning,
________ to get created the Department resourcefulness and
themselves off. of ________. their ________.

In secret, Hermione ________ is probably a ________ : new from

goes to the library to horcrux. Weasley's Wizarding
think about ________. Wheezes.
In his latest world Today's Potter angst is Hogwarts school of
domination strategy, brought to you by witchcraft and
Voldemort will use ________. ________.
________ to conquer
the Ministry of Magic!

I'm allergic to ________, Manipulating children Dumbledore grieves

I'm a Hufflepuff. is fine when you're over ________.

________ sent me to Bellatrix Lestrange is Severus Snape touches

Azkaban. on trial for ________. his n ipples and thinks
about ________.
He kept trying to cast I don't think you should Kingsley Shacklebolt is
Engorgio charms on add ________ to this deathly afraid of
________. situation. ________.

If you don't like Ravenclaws are really I mean, ________?

________, why not just good at ________. Really? So cliché.
go to Beauxbatons?

I'd hate to have Is ________ such a Why is it that ________

________ as a dueling good idea? is so sexy?
________ is My mum just sent a Lucius Malfoy strokes
surprisingly good in Howler about ________. his wand over
bed. ________.

Why do I always win? Harry Potter really likes What's more fun than
I'll tell you why: ________ in bed. ________?

Mad-Eye Moody gets There's a spell for How can you have sex
hot at thoughts of ________. with ________
________. watching?
He just started ________ should be Harry Potter and the
conjuring ________. I legal. Goblet of ________.
thought it was a terrible

________? They're not My vagina is full of Sirius Black really likes

so dangerous. ________. ________.

________ is the reason In fighting against I need more ________

Molly and Arthur ________, Hogwarts in my life," said
Weasley got married. can only become more ________.

I got ________ for What am I scared is If I had a Horcrux, I'd
Christmas. hiding under my bed? use ________ as a
________, that's what. vessel.

________'s primary I'll trade you a Voldemort finds

kink is ________. chocolate frog for ________ very sexy
________. indeed.


________ is even better Dumbledore never We can only defeat

than ________. answers my owls ________ by using
about ________. ________.

I would love to have When Narcissa Malfoy When Bellatrix
dinner with ________. masturbates, she Lestrange masturbates,
thinks about ________. she fantasizes about

________ should be What is unethical about ________ likes the idea

punished by ________. ________? of getting fucked by the
Giant Squid.


________ is I didn't expect the The Weasley twins

surprisingly easy to Room of Requirement wank over ________
accomplish. to give me ________. and ________

Ah, ________. Just like ________ can kill you, I got this bruise from
Granny used to make. you know. ________.

Narcissa Malfoy ________ put me in St ________ is what I use

blushes at thoughts of Mungo's for two weeks. as my memory for my
________. Patronus.

The password is And then, everything I most admire Severus

“________”. was ruined by Snape for ________.
Ron Weasley Are there laws against In ten years, I'd love to
masturbates over ________? see Hogwarts have
________. ________.

________ is what I have nightmares ________ sounds like a

makes Dumbledore so about ________. terrible meal.
damn attractive.

It was terrible. It was a Kingsley Shacklebolt is Then they started

fight: ________ versus very aroused by having sex, right on
________. ________. top of ________.

I actually had sex with There's a spell for Dolores Umbridge has
________ and it was everything, even banned ________.
fine. ________.

Cause of death: Hermione Granger gets The main problem with

________. off to thoughts of ________ is all the
________. business with


________ is the most The ________ was an Hagrid has very

dangerous weapon we unexpected and valuable advice about
know of. awkward interruption. ________.
What could be more ________ is going to go Voldemort's true
beautiful than to Azkaban for weakness is ________.
________? ________.


Lucius Malfoy wanks to ________ makes Minerva McGonagall

________. cunnilingus so much adores ________.

It's right on the cover of ________ is not I got an O on my NEWT

today's Daily Prophet: advised. in ________.
Astoria Greengrass Is it even possible to Secretly, Hermione
wants ________ for conjure ________? spends time in broom
Christmas. cupboards with

________? That sort of Molly Weasley's worst ________ would be a

thing could get you fear is ________. perfect addition to the
sent to Azkaban. Hogwarts halls.

Albus Dumbledore has Draco Malfoy is terrified ________ has a very

kept ________ hidden of ________. tiny asshole.
from Harry Potter
Hogwarts isn't I don't think enough I've written dozens of
Hogwarts without people consider the letters to the
________. sexual applications of headmaster about
________. ________.

Harry Potter and I have a lot of Mad-Eye Moody is

________. appreciation for guilty of ________.
________, you know.

The Department Of Guess who's coming to Sirius Black cries over

Ministries wants to dinner! ________! ________.
study ________.
Guess who's dead! Albus Dumbledore Who am I
That's right, ________! masturbates to Parseltonguing? I'll tell
________. you - ________!

The Daily Prophet is If you like ________, Remus Lupin is very

now being sponsored you should attend good at ________.
by ________. Durmstrang.

The Ministry is putting Any problem can be Harry Potter is only

out new sanctions to solved by ________ made stronger by
control ________. ________.