A Creation Myth

I have a little gift for you. I'm going to give you a myth.
That is, I'm going to give you a story which may be taken as a truth in spite of the fact that it
is not. It contains a poetic truth which may be of value, while containing a literal possibility,
which is not the same as a literal truth.
When we speak of myths, we immediately think of the Greek gods or the Norse sagas. We
forget that we are surrounded by mythology all the time. All religions are wrapped in
mythologies, stories meant to explain what at one time was unexplainable. Our society frowns on
naming these stories as myths, in fear of offending people who are just waiting to be offended.
I have no fear of offending those people. It is my fervent desire that one day they will accept
the poetic truths inherent in their myths and refuse to consider them literally. This won't happen,
and I will receive death threats for wishing it. That is the way of the deluded.
This myth I give you is a Creation Myth - a story that explains the unexplainable. It is not
science, but poetry. There is no penalty for not believing it, but to me, the truth of it is so self-
evident that I won't get into arguments about it. I have the courage of my convictions, which is
called faith: a state of belief in spite of possible evidence or logic to the contrary.
In fact, there are many scientific theories which cannot be taken as truth, but which explain a
great deal. There is string theory, for example, which makes elegant mathematical constructs, but
is unprovable at present. There is the aquatic ape theory, which explains our relative hairlessness,
the shapes of our noses and other things, but for which there is not a shred of solid evidence.
There is the Big Bang, a logical conclusion of observable evidence which is unprovable.
Scientists may be offended that I have lumped the Big Bang in with those others, but I am not a
scientist, and am doing my best to represent those of us who are not. To someone with no
mathematical training or advanced physics, the Big Bang is only believable if taken on faith
(scientists told me so it must be true).
Personally, I believe in all of the above. I'm positive that there is an aquatic ape (us), string
theory sounds very cool, and the Big Bang has not only the ring of literal truth, but of poetic
truth as well.
Now isn't that an excellent segue? The myth that I am about to posit is based in part on my
acceptance of the Big Bang theory for the origin of the universe. For those of you who don't
know what it is, I place you in the capable hands of Wikipedia:
"The Big Bang is the cosmological model of the universe whose primary assertion is that the
universe has expanded into its current state from a primordial condition of enormous density and
temperature. The term is also used in a narrower sense to describe the fundamental 'fireball' that
erupted at or close to an initial time-point in the history of our observed spacetime."
This explains a great deal of how the universe we know came to exist. It gives meaning to the
phrase "the beginning of time." It accounts for many of the observable phenomena of the
material realm. It provides a logical basis for many of the laws which seem to govern our
literally sensible beings, from the fundamental particles of which we are constructed to the
energy which motivates us. It is a beautiful piece of math.
I am not, however, quite ready to accept it as a literal truth. Most scientists will acknowledge
that there may be problems with the theory, that it is impossible to prove, and that our ability to
gather evidence which supports it is limited. I don't care, of course. I can make up for the holes
in the logic with faith.
What the theory cannot explain is why. Why are we here? Why are we conscious of our here-
ness? Why did the universe go to all this trouble?
 This puts us back in the realm of poetic truth. What Mr. Left cannot explain, Mr. Right will
attempt. In the absence of science, we may construct a myth, to satisfy our longing to understand
our place in the universe. We will use logic when it is available, poetry when it is not, and apply
faith to the whole.
This is the story of Creation. It is the tale of the awesome impossibilities that gave birth to us,
that nurture us, and give us purpose. It is the story of Fun.
There was never nothing. Something cannot come from nothing, so if there was nothing in our
universe, or our universe didn't exist, then there was another universe, or an infinite number of
other universes, that did. In one of these universes, there was a set of laws that governed the
physical and active nature of its whole and of its parts. In that universe were many holes in space
and time, into which their vesion of gravity pulled every speck of their version of matter it could
lay its greedy hands on. Those 'black holes' are present in our own universe; places into which
things only fall, and only the most energetic of energies may emerge (this is an
oversimplification, of course - sue me).
In time, the black holes of this mythical universe had eaten every scrap of food there was to
eat, and they were all that remained of substance. This took billions of years, of course, and
many great civilizations and cultures had sprung up and disappeared. Those collections of
volition had invested their universe with consciousness.
It is the law of life that it may never disappear. Life, of which consciousness is the apex of
evolution, is the third fundamental of a universe, alongside energy and matter, which are
perpetually conserved. See your friendly neighbourhood physicist for a relevant lecture on
conservation, and then your corner-store philosopher for a discussion of consciousness.
One day, our own civilization may achieve consciousness, at which time wars will end, the
natural world will be restored, and Fun will reign unchallenged. We have much evolution to
undergo to reach this level. But that's another story.
In our other universe(s), life and consciousness had evolved to the point where it pervaded the
universe wholly. There was not a particle or parsec wherein there was no consciousness. Sadly,
however, this universe had reached the physical point where there was nothing left to look at,
black holes being the totality of existence.
This was boring, and life, which was now conscious, rebelled. Boredom is the universal
enemy, worse than evil. Consciousness much prefers a universe where there is a wide variety of
somethings than a single variety of something.
But those black holes were selfish, and began to eat each other. Smaller black holes were
eaten by larger black holes, which became larger and denser, until there was only one black hole
left, into which the consciousness of the universe was concentrated. There was not a particle left
that wasn't owned by the black hole. There was not a scrap of energy that wasn't trapped by it.
There was no life that wasn't sequestered within.
The black hole had run out of things to eat. There was no Fun left anywhere. It began to eat
itself, getting smaller and denser and sucking in its own outside edge, shrinking and getting
hotter and more insane with every moment. Life was squished down to nothingness, and
consciousness would soon be snuffed out. This state of affairs was not acceptable. Life hatched a
plan. Consciousness would be restored, and boredom banished.
When the black hole could shrink no more, there came a moment of infinite pressure, and the
stuff of the universe exploded in a big bang. Matter and energy were still one with each other,
due to the immense pressures they had been subjected to in this singularity, and life was inherent
to it. Life exploded outward, and as the laws of the new universe were sorted and organized into
reality, its plan began to come to fruition.
No more would there be boredom in this new universe, at least not for billions of billions of
ticks of the new thing called time. This new place would echo with joy, interest and motivation.
Fun would reign supreme.
There was a problem, though. Life was too tenuous, too ethereal, and lacked consciousness. It
was operating on automatic pilot, evolving as well as it could, but formless. It would have to be
organized into something more usable. In it's present state, life was not capable of experience,
and therefore was incapable of Fun. It wanted to have Fun, and here is where the consciousness
of the previous universe demonstrated its worth.
In many corners of the new universe, life accumulated into clumps, and things began to grow.
Life took many forms, and many proved inviable. They soon were dismantled, and the life force
would begin anew.
In one of these places, things really took off. Matter, energy and life came together in the
form of tiny strings of chemistry, and set about to change the world. For billions of years, these
tiny strings experimented with various combinations, building cells of self-containment. Life was
still unconscious, however. Consciousness, as stated earlier in this myth, is the apex of the
evolution of life, and was always there as the constructive goal of life.
The cells began to work together, building up larger and more complex structures, aiming
always at the eventual creation of consciousness. From the earliest bacteria and other strings of
chemistry came tubes of life called worms, which crawled through the organized muck of matter,
eating and being eaten. The universe bombarded the small planet with radiation, forcing
interesting changes in the chemistry that had become DNA of these early creatures. Life became
more complex.
In time, life achieved a level of self-hood which allowed it to crawl out of the primordial seas
and populate the rocks. This was a good step for life, as the challenges of living on rocks
encouraged evolution. Consciousness became ever closer with every tick of time. Every now and
then, an accident would occur, and most of the living things would die, but this proved
beneficial, as it encouraged change in large leaps.
Creatures grew legs and wings, and began to explore. They got bigger and smarter, and here is
where life made a mistake. Being inexperienced and unconscious in this new universe, it mistook
size for intelligence, and began building larger and larger creatures. Bodies are not good vessels
for consciousness, however, and when a big ball of rock hit the planet, life seized upon the
opportunity to start over with a new strategy.
Smaller, more adaptable creatures, able to hold their own warmth, took over from the larger,
colder creatures. This time, life aimed at intelligence and vitality instead of size.
Slowly, certain creatures emerged, which adapted for intelligence, and consciousness crept
ever closer. There were problems, but these were solved one at a time. Life was getting excited,
as it became semi-aware of itself for the first time.
Finally, one group of creatures emerged which contained the seeds of consciousness. Life was
working! Many hurdles remained, but there was light on the horizon. Fun, which had always
been the goal of life, was finally within its grasp. Consciousness, the tool of life, by which it
could be self-aware and able to fully grasp Fun, was nearly complete.
There was great competition among the various 'humans' for the prize of consciousness, by
which it could have Fun. One species emerged victorious. The universe and life were finally
aware of themselves, the prerequisite of fun, and joy spread throughout.
This actually took place with variations billions of times in billions of places, but this is our
myth, so we'll concentrate on us.
Unfortunately, consciousness threw a monkey-wrench into evolution. The humans began
wrecking their world. It became apparent that not all humans were capable of Fun. Many became
distracted by the confusion that resulted from having competing philosophies and techniques of
living. Wars broke out, pollution ensued, and other wacky antics. Life, which had sensed
consciousness about to emerge, was incensed. But there was a ray of hope.
Certain people came to recognize that Fun was the object of life, and consciousness the tool
by which it could be experienced. They recognized that the universe had created them expressly
to experience Fun. The big bang and everything else since then had been aimed at one object.
Fun began to emerge as the philosophy of many.
It was a confused kind of Fun, of course. True Fun is not possible until all members of the
species share in it. And that is where things stand right now.
The universe is within a hairsbreadth of self-consciousness. The Fun at the heart of all is
within reach. We have only to convince the rest of our species that Fun is what we need, what
the universe created us for, and why it is our duty and joy to spread it wherever we can.
That is the myth of how we came to be. It's only a story...the universe I describe may not be
this universe, and this version of events completely ignores the latest physics in favour of literary
effect. However, it is a myth that may prove useful to many, and I recommend it to you. It is a
combination of literal and poetic truths, fun in its own right, and dedicated to Fun.
Every religion explores the question of why we came to be. There are some very simple-
minded myths out there that were created by people who are not fully conscious, and which are
both constructive and destructive, because they do not acknowledge Fun as the object of the
consciousness which is the highest evolution of life.
The Temple of Fun holds this poetic truth to be the highest. Perhaps a higher truth will
emerge. Perhaps I, the Chief Rabbi and Grand Wazoo of the Temple of Fun, author of the Book
of Fun, have written a myth which contains not a morsel of literal truth. I don't care.
I bless you in the name of the universe, enjoin you to experience Fun in all its golden facets,
and throw open the doors for all those to whom this myth contains the poetic truth. Free donuts
and coffee will be provided. Welcome to the Temple of Fun!