Documente Academic
Documente Profesional
Documente Cultură
5 Comments
Whether a conflict erupts at work or at home, we frequently fall back on the tendency to try to correct
the other person or group’s perceptions, lecturing them about why we’re right—and they’re wrong.
Deep down, we know that this conflict resolution approach usually fails to resolve the conflict and
often only makes it worse.
Here are 5 conflict resolution strategies that are more effective, drawn from research on negotiation
and conflicts, to try out the next time you’re tempted to argue your point.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
1. Conflict resolution strategy #1: Recognize that all of us have biased fairness
perceptions. Both parties to a conflict typically think they’re right (and the other side is wrong)
because they quite literally can’t get out of our own heads. Our sense of what would constitute a
fair conflict resolution is biased by egocentrism, or the tendency to have difficulty seeing a
situation from another person’s perspective, research by Carnegie Mellon University professors
Linda Babcock and George Loewenstein and their colleagues shows. When embroiled in a
conflict, we need to try to overcome our self-centered fairness perceptions. We might do this by
jointly hiring a mediator who can help us see one another’s point of view, or by enlisting another
type of unbiased expert, such as an appraiser, to offer their view of the “facts.”
2. Conflict resolution strategy #2: Avoid escalating tensions with threats and provocative
moves. When we feel we’re being ignored or steamrolled, we often try to capture the other party’s
attention by making a threat, such as saying we’ll take a dispute to court or try to ruin the other
party’s business reputation. There’s a time and place for litigation, but threats and other attention-
getting moves, such as take-it-or-leave-it offers, are often a mistake. Because of the common
human tendency to treat others the way they’re treated, people tend to respond to threats in kind,
leading to an escalatory spiral and worsening conflict. Before making a threat, be sure you have
exhausted all other options for managing conflict.
3. Conflict resolution strategy #3: Overcome an “us versus them” mentality. Group
connections build loyalty and strong relationships, but they can also promote suspicion and
hostility toward members of out-groups. As a result, groups in conflict tend to have an inaccurate
understanding of each other’s views and to see the other’s positions as more extreme than they
actually are. Whether dealing with conflict as a group or on your own, you can overcome the
tendency to demonize the other side by looking for an identity or goal you share. Begin your
conflict management efforts by highlighting your common goal of reaching a fair and sustainable
agreement. Try to identify and discuss points of similarity between you, such as growing up in the
same region. The more points of connection you can identify, the more collaborative and
productive your conflict resolution process is likely to be.
4. Conflict resolution strategy #4: Look beneath the surface to identify deeper issues. Our
deepest disputes often seem to involve money: labor disputes over employee wages, family
conflicts over assets, for example. Because money is a finite resource, these conflicts tend to be
single-issue battles in which one party’s gain will inevitably be the other party’s loss. But disputes
over money often involve much deeper causes of conflict, such as the feeling that one is being
disrespected or overlooked. The next time you find yourself arguing over the division of funds,
suggest putting that conversation on hold. Then take time to explore each other’s deeper
concerns. Listen closely to one another’s grievances, and try to come up with creative ways to
address them. This conflict management strategy is likely to strengthen the relationship and add
new interests to the table, expanding the pie of value to be divided in the process.
5. Conflict resolution strategy #5: Separate sacred from pseudo-sacred issues. Conflict
management can be particularly intractable when core values that negotiators believe are sacred,
or nonnegotiable, are involved, such as their family bonds, religious beliefs, political views, or
personal moral code. Take the case of two siblings who disagree about whether to sell their
deceased parents’ farm, with one of them insisting the land must remain in the family and the
other arguing that the parents would want them to sell it. We tend to err on the side of not
negotiating when sacred principles and values are at stake, writes Program on Negotiation chair
Robert Mnookin in his book Bargaining with the Devil: When to Negotiate, When to Fight. But
many of the issues negotiators consider sacred are actually pseudo-sacred, notes Harvard
Business School professor Max H. Bazerman—that is, the issues are only off-limits under certain
conditions. So it’s important to thoroughly analyze the benefits you might expect from negotiation
that could allow you to honor your principles. For example, the sibling’s objections to selling the
family land might soften if a percentage of the proceeds are donated to the parents’ favorite
charity.
How do you deal with conflict? Do you use any of these strategies?
Conflict Resolution Steps for Dealing with
Power and Status at the Bargaining Table
Conflict Resolution Step 1. Get Off Your Power Pedestal
You may think that you’re on top, but power is in the eye of the beholder, especially in negotiation
scenarios.
Accepting this reality often necessitates broadening your notion of what constitutes power in
negotiation.
Resources are often the most obvious source of power, but maintaining good relationships, being
viewed as an expert, and constructing mutually beneficial agreements also add to one’s power base.
At the heart of these skills is the ability to influence the interests of others at the table, whether
positively or negatively.
Your counterparts may win at the influence game if they recognize that power is multifaceted – and
you don’t.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
To avoid becoming the next Goliath, you need to overcome the tendency to view an
upcoming negotiation as a no-brainer.
Instead, strive to identify and understand the weaker party’s vantage point by undertaking the same
thorough negotiation preparation and analysis that you would if you were in his position.
This advice is equally important during the negotiation itself: Never assume that you’ve got it
made.
Threats such as “What choice do you have?” and rationalizations such as “This is the best option for
everyone” will only incite coalitions against you and prompt revenge.
As an alternative, let the data speak for itself. Offer an objective rationale for a particular solution,
one that your weaker counterparts will have a much easier time accepting.
Conflict Resolution Step 4. Find a “Neutral”
No matter how fair you try to be, your power can work against you in negotiation, inspiring suspicion
and resentment.
Rather than trying to convince others of something they may never believe, it might be easier to find
someone else to deliver the message.
Try to identify a neutral party within or outside the negotiation whose interests are aligned with yours
and then provide that party with opportunities to voice a rationale for a proposed solution. Parties
who are perceived by all sides as legitimate and fair will be the most successful messengers and
can greatly increase the odds that your argument will be received and accepted.
What is your approach to conflict resolution? Share your tried and true methods in the
comments.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
Conflict Resolution
Conflict resolution is the process of resolving a dispute or a conflict by meeting at least
some of each side’s needs and addressing their interests. Conflict resolution sometimes
requires both a power-based and an interest-based approach, such as the simultaneous
pursuit of litigation (the use of legal power) and negotiation (attempts to reconcile each
party’s interests). There are a number of powerful strategies for conflict resolution.
Knowing how to manage and resolve conflict is essential for having a productive work
life, and it is important for community and family life as well. Dispute resolution, to use
another common term, is a relatively new field, emerging after World War II. Scholars
from the Program on Negotiation were leaders in establishing the field.
Strategies include maintaining open lines of communication, asking other parties to
mediate, and keeping sight of your underlying interests. In addition, negotiators can try
to resolve conflict by creating value out of conflict, in which you try to capitalize on
shared interests, explore differences in preferences, priorities, and resources, capitalize
on differences in forecasts and risk preferences, and address potential implementation
problems up front.
These skills are useful in crisis negotiation situations and in handling cultural differences
in negotiations, and can be invaluable when dealing with difficult people, helping you to
“build a golden bridge” and listen to learn, in which you acknowledge the other person’s
points before asking him or her to acknowledge yours.
Articles offer numerous examples of dispute resolution and explore various aspects of it,
including international dispute resolution, how it can be useful in your personal life, skills
needed to achieve it, and training that hones those skills.
https://www.pon.harvard.edu/category/daily/conflict-resolution/
--
4 Comments
In many negotiations, both parties are aware of what their interests are, and are willing to engage in
a give-and-take process with the other party to come to agreement. In conflicts related to personal
identity, and deeply-held beliefs or values, however, negotiation dynamics can become more
complex and require alternative dispute resolution tactics for conflict negotiation. Parties may not be
willing to make any concession that helps the other side, even if it would bring about a reciprocal
concession that would be in their own favor.
Discover how to improve your dispute resolution skills in this free report, Dispute Resolution,
Working Together Toward Conflict Resolution on the Job and at Home, from Harvard Law School.
In these value-based disputes, there are four practical steps that negotiators can take to tone down
particularly contentious negotiations, and help talks move forward in a constructive manner. Here
are four conflict negotiation strategies for resolving values-based disputes:
Consider interests and values separately: Separate the person from the problem and
engage issues individually at the negotiation table. Determine what worth your counterpart
attaches to her positions and bargain accordingly.
Engage in relationship-building dialogue: Build relationships through establishing rapport or
common cause, bringing your counterpart to your side while helping yourself to understand her
interests and values at the negotiation table.
Appeal to overarching values: Appealing to common or shared values can help bridge the
gap at the bargaining table by bringing you and your counterpart closer together in terms of
bargaining interests. By establishing a common negotiating ground, you can begin to create
value (and claim more value) using integrative negotiation strategies.
Confront value differences directly: The areas where you and your counterpart do not see
eye-to-eye are areas of growth and opportunities for value creation. Understanding your
differences, you can best work to reconcile them in order to achieve bargaining success.
Even in cases where resolution of a dispute is not possible, these four approaches will allow for
greater understanding between parties, and clarify where the differences of identity and values lie. In
many cases, however, following these steps will help ensure that a values-based dispute can be
negotiated successfully.
In the diversity-campaign case, someone with experience managing difficult conversations could
help to promote a more productive exchange at the empathetic level. Empathic understanding goes
deeper than the cognitive understanding described above, as it aims to enhance trust, reduce
defensiveness, and potentially change relationships for the better. The point of empathetic
understanding is not to transform parties’ identities or values, but rather to help them engage with
each others’ beliefs and move past stereotypes. Ideally, they will be able to overcome
misconceptions and find a path to cooperation.
Negotiators caught up in values-based disputes need not aim for settlement in the traditional sense.
Increasing our respect for views contrary to our own and learning to live with fundamental
differences in values and beliefs are themselves laudable goals. When we engage in values-based
dialogue, we may not resolve our disagreements, yet we can strive to learn more about one another
so that we can more easily live side by side.
Which conflict negotiation solutions have worked for you in the past? Let us know in the
comments.
Related Article: Relationship Rules and Business Negotiations
Discover how to improve your dispute resolution skills in this free report, Dispute Resolution,
Working Together Toward Conflict Resolution on the Job and at Home, from Harvard Law School.
Adapted from “How to Negotiate When Values Are at Stake” by Lawrence Susskind (Ford Professor
of Urban and Environmental Planning, Massachusetts Institute of Technology), published in
the Negotiation newsletter, October 2010.
----
2 Comments
When a dispute flares up and conflict resolution is required, the outcome can be sadly predictable:
the conflict escalates, with each side blaming the other in increasingly strident terms. The dispute
may end up in litigation, and the relationship may be forever damaged.
Discover how to improve your dispute resolution skills in this free report, Dispute Resolution,
Working Together Toward Conflict Resolution on the Job and at Home, from Harvard Law School.
The following three negotiation strategies for conflict resolution from the realm of business
negotiation can help parties mend their partnership, avoid the expense of a lawsuit, and even create
value.
1. Avoid being provoked into an emotional response.
Negotiators make several “moves” to question each other’s legitimacy and assert their own power,
write Deborah M. Kolb and Judith Williams in their book Everyday Negotiation: Navigating the
Hidden Agendas in Bargaining. This “shadow negotiation,” which takes place under the surface,
helps to explain why discussions of concrete, seemingly rational issues can lead to angry outbursts,
hurt feelings, and simmering conflict (see also, How Emotions Affect Your Negotiating Ability).
Here are a few examples. First, a negotiator may challenge your competence or expertise—for
example, by saying you don’t have the experience to perform a particular task. Second, someone
might demean your ideas in a way that it makes it difficult for you to respond, perhaps by saying,
“You can’t be serious!” Finally, a coworker might criticize your style with a line such as “Stop being
so sensitive.”
By challenging, demeaning, and criticizing you, the other party (whether consciously or not) may be
attempting to provoke you into an emotional response that will shift the balance of power in their
favor.
How can you defend yourself against such moves without being accused of overreacting? Kolb and
Williams suggest several responses, which they call “turns”:
Interrupt the move by taking a break, which should give everyone time to gain control of their
emotions, in addition to halting any momentum that is going against you.
Try naming the move; that is, let your coworker know that you recognize it as a power play. If
someone says, “You can’t be serious!” you might respond, “Actually, I’m quite serious. Instead of
cutting me off, how about if you give me a chance to clarify my plan?”
Correct the move, substituting the other side’s negative remarks with a more positive
interpretation. If a coworker incorrectly blames you for a decision that went wrong, provide him or
your boss with hard evidence of the facts.
Divert the move by shifting the focus back to the issue at hand. To the person who criticizes you
as overly sensitive, you could say, “I think it’d be best if we avoid personal judgments and
concentrate on the proposal.”
2. Don’t abandon value-creating strategies.
Negotiators who understand the importance of collaborating with one another to create value
nonetheless often abandon that approach during dispute resolution. Treating disputes as different
from other aspects of dealmaking, they tend to view business dispute resolution as a zero-sum
game—one in which only a single issue (such as money) is at stake. Consequently, they tend to look
at the dispute resolution process as a win-lose battle, to their detriment.
By contrast, you should be able to find the same set of value-creation opportunities in disputes as
you do in deals. For example, try to capitalize on shared interests, or noncompetitive similarities,
recommend Harvard Law School professor Robert C. Bordone and University of Oregon professor
Michael L. Moffitt. If both parties would likely suffer reputational damage if their dispute went public,
then they might agree to keep certain aspects of their dispute resolution process confidential.
Reaching agreement on seemingly peripheral issues can help parties build a foundation of trust and
optimism that enables them to collaborate to resolve the main sources of their conflict.
Disputants may also be able to create value by trading on their differing preferences and priorities
(see also, Integrative Negotiations, Value Creation, and Creativity at the Bargaining Table). Suppose
Party A places a high value on receiving a formal apology from Party B. Party B might be willing to
grant the apology in exchange for a lower settlement payment to Party A. Through such tradeoffs,
negotiators can increase the odds of a peaceful and lasting resolution.
Another reason time can be your friend in dispute resolution? The departure of divisive leaders on
one side of the conflict or the other can offer new hope for resolution after some time has passed.
Take advantage of such changes by making a new settlement proposal, working through a mediator
or other third party if necessary (see also, The Right Time to Negotiate).
What strategies and tips do you have for conflict resolution?
Discover how to improve your dispute resolution skills in this free report, Dispute Resolution,
Working Together Toward Conflict Resolution on the Job and at Home, from Harvard Law School.
-----
Comment
During the course of complex contract negotiations, the last thing we want to think about is the
possibility that a serious disagreement or contract breach will arise during the implementation stage.
Yet we also know that such conflicts are common.
Discover how to improve your dispute resolution skills in this free report, Dispute Resolution,
Working Together Toward Conflict Resolution on the Job and at Home, from Harvard Law School.
In contract negotiations, the following five measures can help you ward off a dispute or lessen its ill
effects:
1. Include a dispute-resolution clause.
In the event of an alleged contract violation, a dispute-resolution clause might require both sides to
continue to meet their contractual obligations while a third party investigates the matter. Your
dispute-resolution clause might also require parties to engage in alternative dispute resolution
(ADR), such as mediation and/or arbitration, before filing any lawsuits.
When drafting a dispute-resolution agreement, consider stipulating that mediation should be used to
attempt to resolve relatively straightforward misunderstandings. In mediation, a neutral third party
help disputants come to consensus on their own. Rather than imposing a solution, a professional
mediator works with the conflicting sides to explore the interests underlying their positions and
encourages them air their grievances. Mediators try to help parties hammer out a resolution that is
sustainable, voluntary, and nonbinding.
By contrast, you might agree to reserve arbitration for more serious contractual disputes. In
arbitration, a neutral third party serves as a judge who is responsible for resolving the dispute. The
arbitrator listens as each side argues its case and presents relevant evidence, then renders a
binding decision. Arbitrators hand down decisions that are usually confidential and cannot be
appealed.
Include liquidated damages clauses in your contract that specify the amount to be paid if the contract
is breached, advises Harvard Business School and Harvard Law School professor Guhan
Subramanian. Consider that if you sue the other side for breach of contract, you will typically be
awarded monetary damages rather than the specific goods or services that you lost. Therefore, if
you negotiate up front that a supplier will pay you $1,000 for a missed shipment, for example, this
liquidated damages clause will make any future dispute-resolution effort or court hearing much more
straightforward.
A negotiation tool known as dispute prevention can also help business partners deal with their
differences more productively, writes Massachusetts Institute of Technology professor Lawrence
Susskind in his book Good for You, Great for Me: Finding the Trading Zone and Winning at Win-Win
Negotiation (PublicAffairs, 2014). Though such clauses are not yet used widely in business
contracts, the construction industry has relied on dispute prevention for decades, writes Susskind.
Because companies entering into construction contracts are eager to avoid delays, the project’s
developer, financiers, architects, and any other interested parties typically sign an agreement in
which they vow to meet and communicate regularly, monitor progress jointly, and consult with
mediators to quickly resolve minor disagreements. Such carefully designed dispute-prevention
systems have proven highly effective at warding off serious conflicts and delays—and can be quite
useful in any long-term business relationship.
4. Consider a contingent agreement.
In contract negotiations, it’s common for parties to reach impasse because they have different
beliefs about the likelihood of future events. You might be convinced that your firm will deliver a
project on time and under budget, for example, but the client may view your proposal as unrealistic.
In such situations, a contingent agreement—negotiated “if, then” promises aimed at reducing risk
about future uncertainty—offers a way for parties to agree to disagree while still moving forward.
Contingent commitments often create incentives for compliance or penalties for noncompliance,
writes Susskind. You might propose paying specified penalties for turning your project in late or
agree to significantly lower your rates if you go over budget, for example.
To add a contingent agreement to your contract, begin by having both sides write out their own
scenarios of how they expect the future to unfold. Then negotiate expectations and requirements
that seem appropriate to each scenario. Finally, include both the scenarios and the negotiated
repercussions and rewards in your contract.
When negotiating an agreement, raising the possibility of a future dispute can feel uncomfortable.
But by including some or all of these dispute-resolution and prevention mechanisms in your contract,
you can greatly increase your odds of sustaining a harmonious business relationship.
Have you ever had to agree to disagree? How has this affected your contract negotiations?
Discover how to improve your dispute resolution skills in this free report, Dispute Resolution,
Working Together Toward Conflict Resolution on the Job and at Home, from Harvard Law School.
---
4 Comments
In many negotiations, both parties are aware of what their interests are, and are willing to engage in
a give-and-take process with the other party to come to agreement. In conflicts related to personal
identity, and deeply-held beliefs or values, however, negotiation dynamics can become more
complex and require alternative dispute resolution tactics for conflict negotiation. Parties may not be
willing to make any concession that helps the other side, even if it would bring about a reciprocal
concession that would be in their own favor.
Discover how to improve your dispute resolution skills in this free report, Dispute Resolution,
Working Together Toward Conflict Resolution on the Job and at Home, from Harvard Law School.
In these value-based disputes, there are four practical steps that negotiators can take to tone down
particularly contentious negotiations, and help talks move forward in a constructive manner. Here
are four conflict negotiation strategies for resolving values-based disputes:
Consider interests and values separately: Separate the person from the problem and
engage issues individually at the negotiation table. Determine what worth your counterpart
attaches to her positions and bargain accordingly.
Engage in relationship-building dialogue: Build relationships through establishing rapport or
common cause, bringing your counterpart to your side while helping yourself to understand her
interests and values at the negotiation table.
Appeal to overarching values: Appealing to common or shared values can help bridge the
gap at the bargaining table by bringing you and your counterpart closer together in terms of
bargaining interests. By establishing a common negotiating ground, you can begin to create
value (and claim more value) using integrative negotiation strategies.
Confront value differences directly: The areas where you and your counterpart do not see
eye-to-eye are areas of growth and opportunities for value creation. Understanding your
differences, you can best work to reconcile them in order to achieve bargaining success.
Even in cases where resolution of a dispute is not possible, these four approaches will allow for
greater understanding between parties, and clarify where the differences of identity and values lie. In
many cases, however, following these steps will help ensure that a values-based dispute can be
negotiated successfully.
Why Conflict Negotiation Works
In the realm of global politics, there have been numerous occasions when groups with diametrically
opposed values and identities have, through the therapeutic effects of truth-telling, cast aside
generations of hatred and mistrust and transitioned into the long, slow process of reconciliation.
When we think about the divided societies that have managed to build a workable peace after
decades or even generations of bloodshed, such as South Africa and Ireland, we ought to be
encouraged.
In the diversity-campaign case, someone with experience managing difficult conversations could
help to promote a more productive exchange at the empathetic level. Empathic understanding goes
deeper than the cognitive understanding described above, as it aims to enhance trust, reduce
defensiveness, and potentially change relationships for the better. The point of empathetic
understanding is not to transform parties’ identities or values, but rather to help them engage with
each others’ beliefs and move past stereotypes. Ideally, they will be able to overcome
misconceptions and find a path to cooperation.
Negotiators caught up in values-based disputes need not aim for settlement in the traditional sense.
Increasing our respect for views contrary to our own and learning to live with fundamental
differences in values and beliefs are themselves laudable goals. When we engage in values-based
dialogue, we may not resolve our disagreements, yet we can strive to learn more about one another
so that we can more easily live side by side.
Which conflict negotiation solutions have worked for you in the past? Let us know in the
comments.
Discover how to improve your dispute resolution skills in this free report, Dispute Resolution,
Working Together Toward Conflict Resolution on the Job and at Home, from Harvard Law School.
--
1 Comment
Conflict resolution is the process of resolving a dispute or a conflict by meeting at least some of each
side’s needs and addressing their interests. Conflict resolution sometimes requires both a power-
based and an interest-based approach, such as the simultaneous pursuit of litigation (the use of
legal power) and negotiation (attempts to reconcile each party’s interests). There are a number of
powerful strategies for conflict resolution, as you’ll see in our list below of ten popular case studies
about conflict resolutions:
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
3. MESO, Negotiation, and Dealing with Difficult People: Make Multiple Equivalent
Simultaneous Offers to Create Value in Dealmaking
Learn how multiple equivalent simultaneous offers (MESOs) in negotiation offer business negotiators
and conflict management professionals multiple avenues for value creation and dispute resolution at
the bargaining table. Not only are MESOs effective negotiation strategies, but they can also help
resolve seemingly intractable disputes by helping one side or the other reach the zone of possible
agreement (ZOPA).
4. A Case Study of Conflict Management: Family Conflict Resolution Lessons from the Home
One of the most common forms of conflict many of us will face is the inevitable dispute with a family
member or loved one. What negotiation techniques are best applied to disputes within the family?
Drawing on Bruce Feiler’s Lessons in Domestic Diplomacy, this article offers negotiation skills tips
for people seeking to resolve conflict inside the home.
5. Negotiation Examples in Real Life: Negotiating with Your Children
While the negotiation strategies you employ to resolve conflicts with your spouse, brother, or uncle
may work wonders in those situations, are they also applicable to resolving conflicts with children? In
this article drawn from negotiation research, Scott Brown’s book How to Negotiate with Kids…Even
When You Think You Shouldn’toffers practical negotiation advice for parents dealing with difficult
situations with children.
Cooperation in joint fact-finding expeditions can help disputants reach agreement by forcing them to
look outside one another’s own limited expertise or experience and rely on that of a neutral third
party. Lawrence Susskind’s The Consensus Building Handbook describes joint fact-finding as a
multi-step collaborative process designed to help disputants reach a negotiated agreement.
U.S. Senator George Mitchell’s role in the Good Friday Agreement was pivotal in helping each side
reach a negotiated agreement in one of the world’s longest running conflicts. In his interview with
Program on Negotiation Managing Director Susan Hackley, George Mitchell describes the
negotiating skills and negotiation techniques he employed, namely the “Mitchell Principles,”
commitments to open communication, non-violence, and democracy, to bring each side to a
negotiated agreement.
8. Negotiation Games for Conflict Resolution
This article examines the risks disputants take in escalating their conflict to the legal system, –
namely, that pure chance, rather than the merits of the case, could decide the outcome of the
conflict. Engaging negotiation game resources are also available.
9. Maintaining Your Power in Conflict Resolution
Here are four negotiation tips for maintaining power and status in negotiation scenarios. While power
and prestige may be important factors for the individual negotiator, they may not be important to the
negotiation at hand; conversely, high levels of differing status among negotiators may make viable
negotiated agreements difficult and value creating agreements impossible.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
-----
5 Comments
In Lessons in Domestic Diplomacy, the New York Times‘ Bruce Feiler, focuses on family conflict
resolution in the home, asking, “how do we break out of negative patterns of conduct and proactively
approach problems encountered in our everyday lives?” His negotiation advice, gleaned from his
own experiences as well as from the negotiation research of experts in the field of conflict resolution
and dispute resolution, is actually quite simple on its face yet very complex in practice.
To achieve relative peace, controlling and managing conflict as it erupts is essential to effective
conflict resolution.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
Feiler highlights a few key areas where families need to be careful, particularly during:
Apologize
Program on Negotiation faculty member Sheila Heen reminds us in her book Difficult
Conversations that apologies have two functions in conflict management: demonstrating contrition
and taking responsibility for the consequences of our actions. No matter the dispute, it is often
necessary for someone to take the lead in pursuing collaborative change in conflict resolution. It is
often easier to take the lead when your counterpart knows you are both willing to admit mistakes and
take responsibility for those mistakes.
Which conflict resolution strategies have helped you? Let us know in the comments.
Related Conflict Resolution Article: Conflict Management in Negotiation – Training with the
Enemy
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
-----
Comment
A 62-year-old salesman believes he has convincing evidence that his boss passed him over for a
promotion because of his age. What options does he have? He could let the matter drop and
perhaps look for another job. He could file an employment-discrimination lawsuit. Or, if his company
offers mediation services, he could have the conflict mediated in the hope of gaining the promotion.
When deciding how to manage conflict at work, employers often lean toward mediation. In
mediation, a neutral third-party mediator encourages both sides to present their views and helps
them devise a mutually acceptable agreement. Ideally, mediation allows parties to air their
grievances and work toward a solution at minimal cost to their organization.
Yet parties often approach negotiation and conflict management from different perspectives,
differences that can lead to common negotiation mistakes and disappointing outcomes, two recent
research studies suggest. The findings imply that managers need to take extra care when
determining how to manage conflict at work.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
The results showed that supervisors and subordinates alike were satisfied with their
mediation process overall, but that subordinates were less satisfied than the superiors. However,
parties in both roles were similarly satisfied with the outcomes of their mediations.
In addition, subordinates who experienced a high level of uncertainty during the mediation were the
least satisfied with the process. Because subordinates tend to have less experience with mediation
than their superiors and may feel they have less control over the process, they may be more likely to
experience uncertainty and anxiety during mediation.
The results suggest that mediators should acknowledge the complicating power dynamics that are
likely to be present during the mediation. In particular, mediators could carefully explain the
mediation context and its goals and procedures, as well as any alternatives, to parties when talks
begin.
When One Side Feels More Aggrieved
Sometimes, an aggrieved party launches a mediation process with a party who is only vaguely
aware that a conflict exists. For example, the employee who believes he was passed over for a
promotion may not have previously discussed his concerns with his boss. One party may experience
the conflict more deeply than the other, yet conflict negotiation, including mediation, often fails to
take this “conflict asymmetry” into account.
To study how conflict asymmetry affects mediation, researchers Karen A. Jehn (Melbourne Business
School), Joyce Rupert (Leiden University), Aukje Nauta (University of Amsterdam), and Seth van
den Bossche (the TNO Work and Employment research institute, Amsterdam) surveyed 27 pairs of
disputants in an educational context, also in the Netherlands, about their experience and satisfaction
with a recent mediation. As reported in the journal Negotiation and Conflict Management Research,
the team found that in most pairs, one party experienced more conflict than the other.
As compared to pairs that experienced similar levels of conflict, pairs with conflict asymmetry were
less satisfied with the mediation process and outcomes. In particular, the less-aggrieved party
perceived that the mediator was biased toward the more-aggrieved party. Less-aggrieved parties
may feel overshadowed by counterparts who have a strong need to vent during the mediation.
To enhance their conflict management and negotiation skills, the researchers advise mediators to
acknowledge when the process begins that differences in perceived conflict may be likely. And to
avoid the appearance of bias, mediators should encourage the less-aggrieved party to express her
or his point of view in addition to allowing the party who perceives more conflict to vent.
Comment
A 62-year-old salesman believes he has convincing evidence that his boss passed him over for a
promotion because of his age. What options does he have? He could let the matter drop and
perhaps look for another job. He could file an employment-discrimination lawsuit. Or, if his company
offers mediation services, he could have the conflict mediated in the hope of gaining the promotion.
When deciding how to manage conflict at work, employers often lean toward mediation. In
mediation, a neutral third-party mediator encourages both sides to present their views and helps
them devise a mutually acceptable agreement. Ideally, mediation allows parties to air their
grievances and work toward a solution at minimal cost to their organization.
Yet parties often approach negotiation and conflict management from different perspectives,
differences that can lead to common negotiation mistakes and disappointing outcomes, two recent
research studies suggest. The findings imply that managers need to take extra care when
determining how to manage conflict at work.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
The results suggest that mediators should acknowledge the complicating power dynamics that are
likely to be present during the mediation. In particular, mediators could carefully explain the
mediation context and its goals and procedures, as well as any alternatives, to parties when talks
begin.
When One Side Feels More Aggrieved
Sometimes, an aggrieved party launches a mediation process with a party who is only vaguely
aware that a conflict exists. For example, the employee who believes he was passed over for a
promotion may not have previously discussed his concerns with his boss. One party may experience
the conflict more deeply than the other, yet conflict negotiation, including mediation, often fails to
take this “conflict asymmetry” into account.
To study how conflict asymmetry affects mediation, researchers Karen A. Jehn (Melbourne Business
School), Joyce Rupert (Leiden University), Aukje Nauta (University of Amsterdam), and Seth van
den Bossche (the TNO Work and Employment research institute, Amsterdam) surveyed 27 pairs of
disputants in an educational context, also in the Netherlands, about their experience and satisfaction
with a recent mediation. As reported in the journal Negotiation and Conflict Management Research,
the team found that in most pairs, one party experienced more conflict than the other.
As compared to pairs that experienced similar levels of conflict, pairs with conflict asymmetry were
less satisfied with the mediation process and outcomes. In particular, the less-aggrieved party
perceived that the mediator was biased toward the more-aggrieved party. Less-aggrieved parties
may feel overshadowed by counterparts who have a strong need to vent during the mediation.
To enhance their conflict management and negotiation skills, the researchers advise mediators to
acknowledge when the process begins that differences in perceived conflict may be likely. And to
avoid the appearance of bias, mediators should encourage the less-aggrieved party to express her
or his point of view in addition to allowing the party who perceives more conflict to vent.
----
1 Comment
Sooner or later, almost all of us will find ourselves trying to cope with how to manage conflict at
work. At the office, we may struggle to work through high-pressure situations with people with whom
we have little in common. We need a special set of strategies to calm tempers, restore order, and
meet each side’s interests.
The following three strategies will help you
learn how to manage conflict at work.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
One of the main goals of dispute system design, or DSD, should be to support low-cost, less
invasive approaches to managing workplace conflict before moving on to more costly, riskier
approaches. For example, an organization might encourage or require employees in conflict to
engage in mediation before moving on to an arbitration hearing. In addition, write Sander and
Bordone, employees should be able to tap into the dispute-resolution process at different points
throughout the organization—for example, through their supervisor, an HR staff member, or some
other leader—lest they avoid the system due to distrust of one person in particular.
Setting up a dispute system can be a complex process, but it will almost inevitably promote a more
efficient means of managing workplace conflict than a case-by-case approach.
In their 2014 book Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well,
Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen offer advice on accepting feedback in a constructive manner—even
when the feedback isn’t delivered constructively. We all need to learn to identify personal triggers
that cause us to take perceived criticism personally, for example.
For this reason, it’s crucial to start off your workplace conflict resolution efforts by taking a joint
problem-solving approach. Ask open-ended questions and test your assumptions, advises Hackley.
Make sure that each party has ample time to express his or her views without interruption.
When figuring out how to manage conflict at work, we need to remember the importance of exploring
the deeper interests underlying the other party’s positions. When you listen closely, you will go a
long way toward building trust and resolving difficult situations.
Does your organization have a formal process for resolving workplace disputes?
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
-------
Comment
A case study of conflict management: Suppose that you and your negotiating counterpart
become deadlocked after exchanging a series of offers and counteroffers. With each of you
anchored on very different positions, you can’t seem to find a solution that pleases you both.
Rather than making one offer at a time, try issuing multiple equivalent simultaneous offers,
or MESOs. When you present multiple offers at the same time, you are likely to increase the other
side’s satisfaction while also boosting your odds of coming to agreement, according to professors
Victoria Husted Medvec and Adam D. Galinsky of Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of
Management.
The first step in the MESOs approach is to determine which of the issues on the table matter most to
you. You can do so by creating a scoring system.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
A Case Study of Conflict Management – Multiple Equivalent Simultaneous Offers and Self-
Fulfilling Prophecies in Negotiation
To take a simplified negotiation example, suppose that a tour operator is negotiating a travel
package with a community group. The issues at stake include overall cost, travel dates, and level of
accommodations. The tour operator, who already knows that the community group is on a budget,
ranks the issues using a scoring system and comes up with three packages she values equally.
Package 1 is a relatively low-cost package with low-end accommodations and peak travel dates.
Package 2 is also a relatively low-cost package, but with high-end accommodations and off-season
travel dates. Package 3 is a costlier package with midrange accommodations during the peak travel
season.
Once you have put together your MESOs, present them to the other side. Rather than telling your
counterpart that you value the offers equally, explain that you want him to choose the offer that’s
best for him. If he rejects all the offers, ask him to tell you which one he prefers. His response will
give you valuable information about how to fine-tune the proposal.
Suppose the community group’s leader tells the tour operator that the group prefers Package 2, but
that the price is still too high. Now the tour operator understands that the group is willing to travel
during the off-season in exchange for a lower cost. She reduces the cost of Package 2 by
downgrading the accommodations slightly. After negotiating a bit more on price, the two sides come
to agreement on a modified version of Package 2.
In their research, Medvec and Galinsky have found that the MESOs approach succeeds because it
takes both parties’ interests into account and, in the process, improves negotiators’ outcomes and
satisfaction.
The researchers offer three notes of caution concerning MESOs. First, because MESOs contain
ample information about your interests, you should counterbalance such disclosures by anchoring
your offers to your advantage. All of your offers should exceed your target price or ideal outcome to
allow some wiggle room for further negotiation. Second, a savvy counterpart may try to cherry-pick
the best elements of each proposal to create a new deal that works against you. Respond to such
attempts by using your scoring system to come up with three new offers that respond to your
counterpart’s priorities without sacrificing your own goals. Third, because the abundant choices
offered by MESOs could be overwhelming, avoid presenting more than three offers at a time.
Related Conflict Resolution Article: Case Study of Conflict Management and Negotiation: Difficult
Conversations and Telling The Third Story
----
Comment
In their book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most(Penguin Putnam, 2000),
authors Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, andSheila Heen tell us how to engage in the conversations in
our professional or personal lives that make us uncomfortable by examining a case study of conflict
management. Tough, honest conversations are critical for managers, whether they need to change
the group culture, manage conflict within a team, give a negative performance evaluation, disagree
with others in a group, or offer an apology.
To set the stage for a productive discussion, open a difficult conversation with the “Third Story,”
advise the authors of Difficult Conversations. The Third Story is one an impartial observer, such as a
mediator, would tell; it’s a version of events both sides can agree on. “The key is learning to describe
the gap—or difference—between your story and the other person’s story. Whatever else you may
think and feel, you can at least agree that you and the other person see things differently,” Stone,
Patton, and Heen write.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
Suppose two regional sales reps share responsibility for sending weekly updates to their manager.
Brad always submits them on time, but Frank often turns them in late. Saying, “Frank, you’ve turned
in the sales reports late again” would only put Frank on the defensive. Instead, Brad opens the
conversation this way: “Frank, you and I place a different value on deadlines. I want to explain why
meeting them is important to me, and then I’d like to hear your take on them.”
Brad learns that Frank, when faced with the choice of possibly making a sale or compiling the report,
thinks he should focus on the sale. With this insight, Brad proposes another way to share
responsibilities: Brad will complete the report when it’s Frank’s turn to do so, as long as Frank gives
Brad two hours’ notice and a share in any commission Frank earns as a result of being able to
continue pursuing a lead.
Adapted from “How to Say What Matters Most,” by Susan Hackley (managing director, Program on
Negotiation), first published in the Negotiation newsletter.
-------
1 Comment
Group negotiations are a fact of managerial life, yet the outcomes of teamwork are highly
unpredictable. Sometimes, groups cohere, reaching novel solutions to nagging problems, and
sometimes infighting causes them to collapse. This is where you may find a case study of conflict
management helpful.
How can you predict when conflict will emerge in groups, and what can you do to stop it?
The following is drawn from a case study of conflict management and negotiation involving multi-
party negotiation scenarios. Dora Lau of the Chinese University of Hong Kong and Keith Murnighan
of the Kellogg Graduate School of Management at Northwestern University have examined group
conflict in terms of fault lines the cracks that result when groups split into homogenous subgroups
according to demographic characteristics.
For instance, in a four-person group made up of two white males in their forties and two African
American females in their twenties, a very strong fault line would exist, one clearly defined by age,
gender, and race. In a group consisting of one white male, one Asian male, one hispanic female,
and one African American female, all in their thirties, fault lines would be less evident.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
While the latter create dysfunctional conflict within the group, information-based fault lines provide
the diversity of information needed for effective performance – in other words, they
provide functional conflict.
These studies provide useful hints on how diversity can be effectively managed. Specifically, when
forming teams, avoid obvious demographic fault lines that would allow group members to split into
categories. When broader diversity exists, fault lines can simply disappear.
Related Conflict Resolution Article: Conflict Management and Negotiation – Personality and
Individual Differences That Do Matter – How much do personality differences matter in
negotiations? Negotiation research has found that negotiators perform similarly from one negotiation
to another negotiation and that performance was only slightly impacted by other variables at
the bargaining table like personality traits. Unchanging traits, like gender, ethnicity, and level of
physical attractiveness, were not tied to negotiation performance. Some traits did
affect negotiating performance, however, and in this study those factors identified by the latest
negotiation research are outlined and discussed. How can your beliefs about negotiation impact your
ability to negotiate? Read more for negotiation skills and negotiation techniques a negotiator can do
to mitigate the impact of these variables on her negotiating performance.
Have you ever dealt with group conflicts? Let us know in the comments.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
---
Comment
To protect the future interests of their organization, negotiatorssometimes must accept fewer
benefits or absorb greater burdens in the short run to maximize the value to all relevant parties
during negotiation – including future employees and shareholders – over time.
Suppose that the operations VPs of two subsidiaries of an energy company are preparing to
negotiate the location of a new energy source within the company. Beta, the energy source, is
limited in supply, but it is inexpensive and efficient to use in the present and grows in potency over
time.
One subsidiary would reap short-term gains by using Beta immediately, while the other is generating
a technology that would make even greater use of Beta in the future.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
Retaining Beta for future use would create more long-term value for the company overall.
But because the future consequences of our decisions often appear remote, it could be difficult for
the executives involved to negotiate this wise decision.
In negotiations, a temporal delay often exists between our decisions and their consequences, a
situation that becomes complicated when ‘others’ – rather than ourselves – will be affected by our
decisions.
In negotiations concerning long-term concerns, a strong symmetry exists between powerful present
organizational actors and powerless future generations. Because those with control over the
decision process have less at stake, the dependency of future generations on the present generation
intensifies.
How do you maximize value in negotiations? Leave a comment.
Related Conflict Resolution Article: The Deal is Done, Now What? – After a long round of
business negotiations with a partner from Silicon Valley in a joint venture to manufacture devices
using your tech and their know-how. The contract is unambiguous and its terms exact – all
contingencies are covered and strong enforcement mechanisms are in place to insure compliance
with the negotiated agreement. The foundation for the new partnership is solid and the dealmaking
negotiation to arrive at this day is what helped build that foundation. But now what? As any
experienced business negotiator knows, it takes more than a perfect contract to have a successful
agreement. To work together with a partner and others, you need an effective working relationship
based upon trust and mutual respect. In reality, business negotiators know that the signing of the
contract is only the beginning of business negotiations between the two parties and that the building
of a successful relationship between the two firms relies upon those same communication skills and
negotiation skills that developed the foundational contract in the first place. A successful relationship
with a partner, whether a domestic negotiator or an international negotiator, is, in many cases, the
difference between success and failure. In this article, the Program on Negotiation (PON) at Harvard
Law School takes negotiation strategies first published in the Negotiation Briefings newsletter to
show you how to transform a contract into a successful, win-win relationship.
Dealmaking – Relationship Rules and Business Negotiations – Here are some concrete guidelines
for fostering a productive, value-creating relationship with your negotiating counterpart – in business
and in daily life. These negotiation strategies and negotiation tips come from The Global Negotiator:
Making, Managing, and Mending Deals Around the World in the 21st Century by Program on
Negotiation faculty member Jeswald Salacuse.
In our FREE special report from the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School – The New
Conflict Management: Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies to Avoid Litigation – renowned
negotiation experts uncover unconventional approaches to conflict management that can turn
adversaries into partners.
The 10 Most
-----
Effective Conflict
Resolution Strategies By Natalie Semczuk13/06/20172 Comments
I’ve faced my fair share of conflict as a project manager: repeatedly having to tell a
difficult client ‘no’ on wildly out-of-scope requests, or dealing with a particularly
difficult colleague who might not see eye-to-eye with the team (and wants everyone to
know it).
It can be par for the course to run into issues on projects, but every so often there’s a
conflict big enough to throw me for a loop. There was once a time a former manager of
mine hung up the phone on the project team in a middle of a conference call, essentially
storming out in the middle of a heated discussion. I remember the feeling: my stomach
dropped, my palms were sweating, and I was making the grimace emoji face in real life.
The special, ‘Eeek, did that really just happen?’ moment when a conflict is born.
That reaction not only took me for a loop, but the whole project team as well. We all sat
in stunned silence, wondering how we had gotten to that exact moment and what to do
next. Being a part of that interaction made me realize there were steps I could have taken
to help the team avoid getting to the point where someone was angrily hanging up on us.
But even as the conflict is unfolding, ‘in the moment’, there is a lot that we as project
managers can do to lead our team well. Instead of derailing all of our hard work by being
bitter or angry – I led the team to manage—and resolve—the conflict.
As project managers, we might find that conflict is happening in our project meetings,
within our project teams, between ourselves and our clients, or in another setting
altogether. While we aren’t the cure-all for conflict, we often have the benefit of a multi-
faceted perspective on the situation which can put us in a solid position to be productive
conflict resolvers–especially when they take place in a way that directly affects our
projects.
Silence is golden.
Sometimes there is nothing you can do. So, know when to escalate.
Natalie is a consulting digital project manager working remotely and living in the Southwest US. Her work
focuses on helping small-to-medium size agencies and in-house web departments manage digital projects,
clients services, and implement processes that help design and development teams work better together. She
also specializes in implementing project systems across remote teams. Natalie runs the PM Reactions blog and
enjoys dystopian fiction, yoga, and drinking too much coffee. Find her elsewhere on Twitter @talkanatalka or
her site, talkanatalka.com.
BE FIRST IN LINE TO DISCOVER WHAT'S NEW
SUBSCRIBE
LATEST POSTS
How To Make An Agile Contract Work For Your Teams And Clients11/09/2018
The Best Trello Alternatives: 10 Top Kanban Tools To Improve Your Project Workflow22/08/2018
Kickoff Meeting: The Complete Guide To Starting Projects Right21/12/2016
Mastering
Digital Project
Management.
Learn more!
1. Small Business»
2. Human Resources»
3. Conflict»
Five Types of Conflict Resolution Strategies
by Erin Schreiner; Updated June 29, 2018
Related Articles
15 Conflict Management Strategies
2Five Approaches to Conflict Resolution
3Types of Conflict Resolution Techniques
4Examples of Conflicts & Resolutions in the Workplace
In the world of business, the presence of conflict can be a serious issue that needs immediate attention. If
workers in your small business appear not to be interacting as cooperatively as you would like, engage in some
conflict resolution to remedy this problem. By suggesting an assortment of simple strategies, you can aid your
workers in putting these periods of conflict behind them.
Start a Discussion
Often, conflict arises simply due to a lack of communication. If you feel that your employees are having
conflict because they are not talking with each other, set up time for a discussion. Encourage the employees to
talk through the problem, particularly if you suspect that it simply stems from the fact that they have failed to
communicate effectively up to this point.
Written Communication
If an issue has escalated or one of the employees has a hot temper, written communication may be a more
effective way of breaking down the wall and resolving conflict. Ask each employee to write a letter to the
other, outlining the problem. By writing letters instead of talking face to face they benefit from the opportunity
to more carefully select their words. They can also make sure that the exchange doesn’t erupt into a yelling
match. Additionally, letter writing provides a means to document this communication easily.
Mediation Sessions
Sometimes, two individuals in a conflict simply can’t work it out together without the aid of third party. If
your workers’ conflict has escalated to the point where outside intervention is necessary, set up a mediation
session. Train a staff member in the art of mediation. Allow this staffer to sit down with the feuding
individuals and assist them in working through their problems in a productive manner.
Work on a Compromise
Ask each person to give a little and take a little by arranging a compromise between the two. Ask both of the
members to come to your offer and talk the problem through with them, presenting potential compromises and
allowing them to mull these options over. By arranging a compromise instead of just selecting one member’s
interests over the other, you can reduce the likelihood that one staff member feels slighted by the way in which
the conflict was resolved.
Put It to a Vote
If you simply must put a conflict to bed, voting can be an effective method. If, for example, two employees are
arguing over a potential advertising campaign or other business endeavor, set up a vote and allow other
employees to weigh in. The numbers will solve the conflict and serve as a once-and-for-all answer.
References (3)
Forbes: Five Conflict Management Strategies
University of Notre Dame Mendoza College of Business: 6 Simple Workplace Conflict Resolution Techniques
Robert Half: 5 Tried and Tested Conflict Management Strategies
About the Author
Erin Schreiner is a freelance writer and teacher who holds a bachelor's degree from Bowling Green State
University. She has been actively freelancing since 2008. Schreiner previously worked for a London-based
freelance firm. Her work appears on eHow, Trails.com and RedEnvelope. She currently teaches writing to
middle school students in Ohio and works on her writing craft regularly.
-----
1. Small Business»
2. Human Resources»
3. Managing Conflict»
5 Conflict Management Strategies
by Eric Dontigney; Updated June 29, 2018
Related Articles
1Five Types of Conflict Resolution Strategies
2Five Approaches to Conflict Resolution
3Examples of Conflicts & Resolutions in the Workplace
4Ways of Managing Conflict in Organizations
In any situation involving more than one person, conflict can arise. The causes of conflict range from
philosophical differences and divergent goals to power imbalances. Unmanaged or poorly managed conflicts
generate a breakdown in trust and lost productivity. For small businesses, where success often hinges on the
cohesion of a few people, loss of trust and productivity can signal the death of the business. With a basic
understanding of the five conflict management strategies, small business owners can better deal with conflicts
before they escalate beyond repair.
Accommodating
The accommodating strategy essentially entails giving the opposing side what it wants. The use of
accommodation often occurs when one of the parties wishes to keep the peace or perceives the issue as minor.
For example, a business that requires formal dress may institute a "casual Friday" policy as a low-stakes means
of keeping the peace with the rank and file. Employees who use accommodation as a primary conflict
management strategy, however, may keep track and develop resentment.
Avoiding
The avoidance strategy seeks to put off conflict indefinitely. By delaying or ignoring the conflict, the avoider
hopes the problem resolves itself without a confrontation. Those who actively avoid conflict frequently have
low esteem or hold a position of low power. In some circumstances, avoiding can serve as a profitable conflict
management strategy, such as after the dismissal of a popular but unproductive employee. The hiring of a more
productive replacement for the position soothes much of the conflict.
Collaborating
Collaboration works by integrating ideas set out by multiple people. The object is to find a creative solution
acceptable to everyone. Collaboration, though useful, calls for a significant time commitment not appropriate
to all conflicts. For example, a business owner should work collaboratively with the manager to establish
policies, but collaborative decision-making regarding office supplies wastes time better spent on other
activities..
Compromising
The compromising strategy typically calls for both sides of a conflict to give up elements of their position in
order to establish an acceptable, if not agreeable, solution. This strategy prevails most often in conflicts where
the parties hold approximately equivalent power. Business owners frequently employ compromise during
contract negotiations with other businesses when each party stands to lose something valuable, such as a
customer or necessary service.
Competing
Competition operates as a zero-sum game, in which one side wins and other loses. Highly assertive
personalities often fall back on competition as a conflict management strategy. The competitive strategy works
best in a limited number of conflicts, such as emergency situations. In general, business owners benefit from
holding the competitive strategy in reserve for crisis situations and decisions that generate ill-will, such as pay
cuts or layoffs.
----
Five Approaches to Conflict Resolution
by Patrick Gleeson, Ph. D.,; Updated June 29, 2018
Related Articles
15 Conflict Management Strategies
2Five Approaches to Dealing With Conflict
3Five Types of Conflict Resolution Strategies
4Types of Conflict Resolution Techniques
As interest in professionalizing conflict resolution gradually increased in the period after World War II,
behavioral science professionals began to analyze and categorize ways that individuals resolved conflicts.
Eventually, they agreed that five predominating approaches exist. Tests were devised to establish an
individual's predominant conflict resolution mode. These early tests, however, suffered from a "social
desirability bias." Later research led to tests that overcame the bias, allowing for more accurate identification
of individual conflict-resolution profiles.
Killmann and Thomas's contribution to conflict resolution grew from their realization that when these five
ways of resolving conflict were proposed in statement form to individuals who were asked to assess which
method they employed, the results were skewed toward collaboration, which was seen as more socially
desirable. This "social desirability bias" reduced the reliability of the established assessment methods.
In response, Killmann and Thomas developed a test based on 30 statement pairs. Those who were tested were
asked to choose, for example, between a collaborating statement and an avoiding statement. The difference
between the KTI assessment and earlier assessment methods was that the statements were the outcome of
extensive research establishing statements of equal social desirability, thus removing the social acceptability
bias toward collaboration.
By forcing choices in 30 different instances between two statements of equal social desirability, Killmann and
Thomas were able to assess more accurately each individual's habitual approach to conflict resolution. The
KTI assessment also measures the relative frequency of an individual's choice of one mode over another,
which creates a personalized profile of each test-taker's conflict resolution tendencies.
----
1. Small Business»
2. Human Resources»
3. Conflict»
Types of Conflict Resolution Techniques
by Kate McFarlin
Related Articles
1Five Types of Conflict Resolution Strategies
2Five Approaches to Conflict Resolution
35 Conflict Management Strategies
4Examples of Conflicts & Resolutions in the Workplace
Whenever you have various personalities in the same place, chances are there are going to be flare-ups. It
would be impossible for all employees to get along all the time, and occasionally there will be conflicts. As a
manager or a as a small business owner, it is vital for you to learn the types of conflict resolution techniques
and to be able to employ these techniques as necessary.
The Cool Cucumber
This type of conflict resolution technique relies on heavy training beforehand. It is also helpful if the person
employing this technique has a naturally calm disposition and doesn't easily get upset. When faced with
employees having a heated discussion or if a problem is severe, the cool cucumber maintains her calm, and her
behavior influences the entire situation. It is very difficult for others to keep arguing when someone who is
maintaining her calm is present. This calm behavior leads to a natural cooling of the event.
Handling Hotheads
Handling hotheads relies partially on the cool cucumber technique, as well as knowing how to diffuse a
situation. Some techniques employ cracking a joke to break the tension in the room and create some breathing
space for the participants in the argument. Other techniques for handling hotheads include allowing the person
to voice his opinions and then repeating back what was said. This helps the irate person. He knows he is being
heard and understood, and this will help diffuse his anger.
No Nonsense Approach
The no nonsense approach is a technique that is typically employed when dealing with a situation that has been
blown out of proportion or with employees who may naturally tend towards being whiny. This approach is
basically a "knock it off" sharp approach that reminds employees where they are and that their behavior will
not be tolerated. It should not be used in serious situations or with employees who will escalate the argument.
The Mediator
The mediating technique relies on hearing both sides of an argument and helping both people find common
ground. It works best on medium level arguments or disagreements that have not yet escalated to the point
where tempers have been lost. The mediator takes each party aside, listens to the complaints and then forms a
solution that will be acceptable to both parties. The majority of office and workplace conflicts can be dealt
with in this manner.
-----
1. Small Business»
2. Human Resources»
3. Workplace Conflict»
Examples of Conflicts & Resolutions in the Workplace
by David Ingram; Updated June 30, 2018
Related Articles
1Examples of 4 Types of Conflict
25 Conflict Management Strategies
3Ways of Managing Conflict in Organizations
4What Causes Employee Conflict in the Workplace?
Conflict is inevitable in workplace settings, and conflicts can arise between co-workers, supervisors and
subordinates or between employees and external stakeholders, such as customers, suppliers and regulatory
agencies. Managing conflict is a key management competency and all small business owners should study and
practice effective conflict management skills to maintain a positive workplace environment.
Discrimination Issues
Discrimination can be a source of heated conflict, potentially ending in legal trouble for a company or its
owners. Discriminatory conflicts can arise from personal prejudices on the part of employees or perceptions of
mistreatment of employees.
As an example of a discrimination-related conflict, imagine a minority employee in a team setting who feels
that he is consistently assigned the most menial work tasks in the group. This employee may begin to harbor
resentment against team members and managers, eventually lashing out through decreased productivity or
outright verbal conflict. To resolve this issue, a manager could sit down with the whole team and discuss the
way in which job tasks are assigned, making changes as necessary to ensure that tasks are divided equitably.
No employee likes to receive a negative performance review, but giving negative feedback in a review can be
unavoidable based on the employee's own actions during the review period.
Employees may become angry over not receiving expected pay raises, promotions or other performance-
related incentives, and may lash out by spreading discontent through gossip and a negative attitude at work.
Employees may argue directly with supervisors during performance reviews, creating sensitive situations that
require tactful communication. To resolve a conflict arising from a negative performance review, work directly
with the employee to create a solid, time-bound plan of action to improve her performance, and tie the
completion of these goals to guaranteed incentives. Allow employees a voice when setting goals to increase
their dedication to achieving the goals.
Sales and customer service employees can experience conflict with customers on a fairly regular basis,
depending on the industry. A common conflict experienced by salespeople is a dissatisfied customer who feels
personally defrauded by an individual salesperson.
For example, if a car salesman sells a used car without a performance guarantee or warranty and the car breaks
down on the buyer, the buyer may return to angrily confront the salesperson and demand a refund. The best
first step to solve these conflicts is to involve a manager who has the right to offer refunds, discounts or other
conciliatory gestures to the customer unless you are in a situation where employees are empowered to make
these kinds of decisions.
Leadership Conflicts
Personality clashes between managers and subordinates can cause a range of interpersonal conflicts to arise.
Employees may feel bullied or pushed by more authoritarian managers, or may perceive a lack of guidance
from more hands-off managers. Managers with type-A personalities may set goals that are too ambitious for
their subordinates, setting them up for failure and inevitable conflict.
To handle these personality mismatches, first try to garner an understanding between the manager and the
subordinate so that each understands the others' perspective in the situation. Never treat conflict management
situations as disciplinary hearings, as if managers are inherently right and employees are inherently wrong; this
is a reliable way to lose good employees. If the two cannot come to an understanding, place the employee
under the supervision of another manager if possible.
--------
4. Identify a Solution
After both parties have had a chance to discuss the situation at hand, it's time to
identify what a satisfactory resolution might be - and how they can get there.
Ideally, by this point, both parties will understand the other's side, and oftentimes
the conflict will be resolved just through facilitated, open dialogue. However, if the
situation requires further resolution, you will need to step in and help them
negotiate a reasonable solution. This phase can require some time and effort, as
it requires both parties to set aside their differences and preferences and find
some common ground to work towards (which may involve not getting everything
they want out of the situation). Then, work with both individuals to come up with a
concrete list of steps that will result in the solution being achieved.
Email
This post has been updated as of December 2017.
In your classroom, you’re bound to come across conflict—it’s virtually
unavoidable. Fortunately, there are lots of approaches to resolving conflict
between your students (and keeping your stress levels down in the process!).
We’ve outlined four effective conflict resolutions for the classroom. Try one (or
all) of these strategies to see what works best. But first, something to note
about conflict.
A big conflict can begin small
A paper co-authored by Donna Crawford, Director of the National Center for
Conflict Resolution Education (NCCRE) and Richard Bodine, NCCRE’s
Training Director, details some interesting researchabout how conflict
begins—and that the largest number of conflicts that result in violence often
start as relatively minor incidences.
Actions like a student using another student’s property without permission or
unprovoked contact, for example, can actually lead to major conflict. This
indicates that few initial contacts are predatory, but conflict escalates rapidly.
Their report also followed with the fact that most incidents occurred at home
or at school, and the majority occurred between individuals who knew each
other.
Finally, Crawford and Bodine elaborate on the premise that the common goal
of violent acts involve retribution. What is interesting is that the research
indicates violent acts are not the result of absence of values, but according to
the authors, are from a value system that accepts violence. Keep this in mind
as you explore the conflict resolution strategies below.
Role playing
Role playing can bring a level of levity to conflict resolution. When students
are placed in opposing roles than what they may play in a real life situation, it
teaches them empathy and forces them to look at actions from another point
of view.
Role playing also provides insight into where the conflict started. Rather than
having conflicts rise with statements like “Well, how would you like it if I
did this to you?” your students can look at conflict from a more objective
standpoint by acting it out.
This is a very effective method of helping your students manage conflict, and
should be something to consider trying in your own classroom. Not only will
your students learn how to solve whatever conflict they’re in, but they’ll learn
how to be more empathetic toward others.
Tracking
As an assignment, have students observe and track various conflicts that they
either witness or are involved in over a period of time. These can be tracked in
a journal and written without specifically identifying other students. The
identities are not as important as the activity they witness and the reaction of
those involved.
Encourage students to be on the lookout for situations where conflict
resolution can help. This will also set a baseline for how severe a problem
may be.
At some point, students should voluntarily share their observations in their
journals and discuss the positives and negatives of the involved students’
reactions. This allows students to discuss specific incidents, without “outing”
offenders.
This activity can be completed multiple times over the school year, ensuring
that your students are paying attention to their surroundings. This will also
give you a better idea of what’s going on in your classroom and how you can
help and better implement conflict resolution strategies.
Listening
Many conflicts start because of misunderstandings and miscommunication.
Teaching students good listening habits can be an important tool.
Start with a classroom discussion about recent student conflicts. You are likely
to hear things like “He wouldn’t listen” or “They didn’t understand what I was
saying.”
This is a good opportunity to let students realize the power of listening. It also
lends itself to teaching “how” to listen.
Teach them to:
Look directly at the speaker and make eye contact.
Let the speaker talk without interruption.
Ask questions.
Do not give advice or offer suggestions.
Give the speaker positive reinforcement by nodding or smiling.
Repeat what you have heard in your own words.
Writing about the conflict
If there are conflicts in the classroom, having the involved students sit down to
write about it serves a couple of purposes. First, it serves as a time-out or a
cooling off period. It also makes them reflect on the incident in an academic,
proactive way.
When you have students write about the conflict, have them include how it
made them feel, and what other, better choices they should have made during
the conflict. Offer them suggestions like “list 3 things that you would do
differently now that you’ve had a chance to think about better options.”
Writing makes students self reflect—a powerful tool that will help them
become more self aware in your classroom and beyond.
Do you use any different strategies to keep conflict at a minimum in your
classroom? We’d love to hear—join us on Facebook whenever you want to
share ideas with other educators.
Learn More: Click to view related resources.
-----
Conflict Styles
Those who have proper conflict resolution training understand how to diffuse the situation and
reach an agreement that satisfies all parties. The first step in conflict resolution is understanding
the various styles of conflict. The five styles of conflict include:
If you’re seeking high-quality conflict resolution skills from a proven leader, consider the
Executive Certificate in Negotiation program from the University of Notre Dame. Offered 100%
online by Notre Dame’s acclaimed Mendoza College of Business, the executive certificate
program is delivered via a flexible, video-based e-learning platform that allows you to complete
your courses anytime and anywhere.
Negotiation strategies are a key part of Notre Dame’s conflict resolution training. The executive
certificate program consists of three eight-week online courses: Negotiation
Essentials, Advanced Negotiations and Strategies for Conflict Management. All courses are led
by program faculty – the same award-winning professors who teach on the Notre Dame
campus.
Through Notre Dame’s Executive Certificate in Negotiation program, you’ll gain the power to
improve your interpersonal relations, apply proven conflict resolution strategies, and enhance
your influence and success in any business setting. Upon completion of each course and the
entire executive certificate program, you’ll receive a certificate of achievement from world-
renowned Notre Dame, which is regionally accredited and consistently ranked a Best National
University by U.S. News & World Report.
With the advanced skills and powerful credentials you’ll gain through Notre Dame’s Executive
Certificate in Negotiation, you’ll be able to successfully implement effective conflict resolution
techniques and demonstrate you have what it takes to excel in an executive management role.
See Frequently Asked Questions for online requirements, accreditation, class schedule and
more.
--------
A study commissioned by CPP, best known for their Myers-Briggs assessment, revealed
that employees in the United States spend 2.8 hours each week dealing with conflict. This
translates to approximately $359 billion worth of unproductive hours, so no matter the
size of your business, this loss can significantly impact your bottom line. To help prepare
for this, we gathered insights from business experts on how to resolve workplace conflict
as well as tips to prevent these problems from happening in the first place.
Here are 25 of the best workplace conflict resolution strategies from the pros.
1. Provide Guidance, Not Solutions
Yuri Khlystov, Co-founder & CEO, LaowaiCareer
As a leader, you have to act like one, and there are times you may need to help to resolve
workplace conflict. Don’t ever take sides. You are there only to help your co-workers
work out their problems on their own. However, you might need to guide the
conversation depending on the situation. If hurt feelings run high, it’s likely you’ll need
to redirect the topic so your employees return to the real problem. You need to be in a
position to give advice on further steps, highlight the positive aspects of the process and
suggest actions that can be worked through after the meeting.
2. Create a Designated ‘Cool Down’ Zone
John Crowley, Editor, People HR
Conflict starts with tension, and tension is amplified when you can’t escape it. If you feel
stressed, annoyed or even angry, you’re not going to manage these feelings very easily if
you’re stuck at your desk, surrounded by noise and possibly feeling “boxed in” by the
very people who are making you feel that way. If you don’t manage these feelings, the
tension will remain or even build and conflict becomes likely.
If you have a designated “cool down” zone, you’re providing a space where potential
conflicts can simmer down before they bubble over. It doesn’t have to be called a “cool
down” zone. It just needs to be a dedicated space within your working environment
where employees can go to take a time out from the chaos of office life. This will be
immensely helpful in preventing tensions from turning into conflicts.
Many companies have a mission, vision and values at a corporate level. However,
conflict usually happens at a team level — the people you work with day-in and day-out.
Put some formality to the way your team works together by collectively establishing a set
of ground rules that are inclusive of all members’ boundaries. The list should include:
best way to communicate, cooperate and be productive. Try and come up with a list of no
more than 10 “rules” and put them where everyone has access. By deliberately
establishing positive group norms, you can prevent the team from going toxic.
4. Encourage Constructive Communication
Lynda Spiegel, Founder, Rising Star Resumes
When you are facing a conflict or facilitating a conflict, think of the acronym FUSION.
The word “fusion” can be defined as a bomb or bringing two things together. If done
right, you’ll defuse the bomb and bring the two sides together:
F – Focus on the issue at hand and key points related to that issue
U – Understand the other’s perspective and point of view
S – Be Specific about what you think or want
I – Use “I” language rather than “they,” “he,” and “we” for taking ownership of the
conversation
O – Be Open to options for handling disagreement
N – No “hot-button” language like “you always do this”; try to avoid using the “you”
word and use more “I,” if possible
Being part of a remote team brings a unique set of challenges when it comes to conflict
management and resolution. A traditional office allows for face-to-face contact, which
makes it easier to sense conflict and deal with it immediately whereas, with a remote
team, conflict is usually played out in private messages and email. In order to deal with
conflict swiftly and appropriately, keep an eye out for change in your team members’
behavior. Have they stopped engaging in group conversation? Has their conversation
style changed from warm and engaging to short and cold? Are certain projects not getting
done?
Watch for these small changes in behavior because, by doing so, you may catch the
conflict and resolve it before it gets out of hand.
8. Put Value in Team Culture
David Hirotsu, Creative Director, UX Strategy, HR Cloud
Proactively investing in the “upkeep” of team synergy has been vital to creating and
maintaining highly effective teams. Typically, managers put all their attention on
building company culture, often at the expense of neglecting team culture. Additionally,
allocating resources for “team time” and milestone celebrations can go a long way to
foster a more supportive environment that helps to minimize the occurrence of the
ultimate productivity killer, petty conflict.
First off, listen with equal amounts of empathy and attention to what both sides of the
conflict have to say. Ask each individual what their particular pain point is, what (rather
than who) is causing it, and what their ideal solution would be. Once you have a firm
grasp of both perspectives, you have the means to figure out an equitable solution that
will allow them both to move forward.
11. Develop an Online Dispute Resolution System
Dr. Buddy Thornton, Brāv Ambassador, Brāv Online Conflict Management
The potential scenarios for workplace misbehavior rising to the level of conflict are
infinite, and mediators must gain experiential knowledge to acquire optimal competency
in this domain. Consider the twin antecedents of fear and intimidation. An online dispute
resolution (ODR) platform like the one offered through Brāv is one tool for mitigating
how fear or intimidation affects participants and mediators alike.
Don’t get drawn into the drama. If the other person is freaking out — don’t join them.
You can listen and be present without it being about you, even if it is directed at you. If
the other person is responding to a problem with anger and frustration, accept that that is
where they are and respond in a polite, calm, professional way. Focus on problem-solving
and not on the conflict. This doesn’t mean allowing the other person to walk all over you.
It’s more about standing your ground in a compassionate, respectful way while still
working to solve the underlying problem.
14. Embrace Conflict and Approach It Positively
Kathy Taberner MA, PCC, Certified Executive Coach & Co-founder, Institute
of Curiosity
When conflict begins to arise, embrace it. Instead of reacting, saying words one later
regrets or retreating in silence, one uses the skills described above. They notice the
buttons that are being touched inside them, focus on what is happening in their body and
ask one open question (begin with who, what, where, when and how). One can also begin
an open question with why; however, that can be interpreted as judging and that is not
what is wanted when conflict is present. When the question is asked, the other person will
begin to share their perspective. A second open question shifts the emotional energy so
buttons no longer feel as if they are being touched.
As the conversation continues, the other person will begin to be curious, asking open
questions. The general dance of the conversation shifts from one of reaction to one of
intentional response, creating respect for those involved.
Many times in meetings, things can get heated when people are passionate about their
point of views. That’s why I will call a break when things start to heat up. I also
encourage employees and those I consult with to call a break if they feel themselves
getting upset or offended. It’s as simple as asking, “Would anyone mind if we took a
quick break and take up where we left off in about 10 minutes?” As simple as it sounds,
just 10 minutes for a bathroom break and to get a cup of coffee from the break room can
ease tension and refresh minds. Whereas, if we continued to allow the heat to build, it
could result in yelling, damaged relationships and even resignations.
Many conflict issues that can be avoided stem from too much procedural conflict
(miscommunications, confusion about process, confusion about direction and resulting
frustration and conflict). I strongly suggest that the partners or the team sit down and
determine a standard group process (writing expectations down becomes the charter)
before working together. Standard group processes include preferences and expectations
about communication channels — for example, does one member like to text and another
email? Are the norms about texting explicit, like “No texting team members after 6 p.m.”
or “All members will respond to email within 24 hours.”
In reality, much of the conflict arises because colleagues don’t have a clear method of
how to work together.
17. Invest in Conflict Training
Dina Lynch Eisenberg, Esq. Outsourcing Strategist and
Ombudswoman, Outsource Easier
There is an assumption that co-workers will act professionally at work and that they
know how to do that. Smart employers don’t assume. They insist on a culture where
conflict is managed at the lowest level, by the parties themselves, and offer training to
make that possible. This stance allows the business to speak a common language and
share behaviors meant to be inclusive, not divisive. The smaller the company, the more
essential conflict training becomes to ensure the company stays on track and moves
ahead without the burden of infighting.
18. Meet with Both Parties at the Same Time
Jerry Haffey Jr., President of Business Development, Ambrosia Treatment
Center
One of the first rules to resolving conflicts is to make sure all voices are heard. When I
am informed about a conflict between employees, I always make sure to meet with them
together to hear both sides of the story. As the manager, I am responsible for mediating
the discussion, and getting both parties in the same room allows me to remain as neutral
as possible while still hashing out the argument. Meeting with one person at a time
doesn’t work and gives the person the opportunity to directly attack the other. That is
counter-productive to coming up with a solution, so I avoid it at all costs.
Positional bargaining is dead. It went out before the end of the last century. Effective
conflict resolution has to cut to the core of what drives the parties’ positions on a specific
matter. Moving past an it-has-to-be-done-like-this perspective to the reason behind why
the parties concluded that it-has-to-be-done-like-this surprisingly results in a common
ground path to consensus and resolution. This methodology, however, requires training of
both facilitator and the parties in the conflict. When done correctly, it fast-tracks
resolution without losers and it will always result in all parties to the conflict partnering
in the aftermath.
20. Be Considerate With Your Choice of Words
Jasmin Terrany, LMHC, Inventor, Life Therapy
There are certain words that elicit a defensive response in another. Learn to communicate
in a way that keeps the other person open and receptive to what you are saying by
avoiding words like “why,” “but” and “should.” A question starting with “why” can
make someone feel defensive. For example, “Why did you do that?” or “Why do you feel
that way?” can elicit feelings of being judged. Instead, say “Is there a particular reason
you did that?” or “What is making you feel that way?”
The intention is to use softer language based on true desire to understand, rather than to
prove their perspective wrong. Anytime you put the word “but” in a sentence, it
automatically discards the first part of the sentence. For example, “I hear you are feeling
very frustrated, but … .” The focus turns toward whatever is being proven in the second
part of the sentence, rather than truly acknowledging the first. Instead, say “and.” For
example, “I hear you are very frustrated and … .” Refrain from statements like “You
should do this” or “You should or shouldn’t have” or “What should you have … .”
Telling someone what they should or shouldn’t do makes them feel bossed around. It is
an ego-based statement that makes people feel defensive, not open.
21. Respond Rather Than React
Lynne Maureen Hurdle, Conflict Resolution
Strategist, LynneMaureenHurdle.com
The first step is to develop an awareness of when you are triggered and the effect it
usually has on you. Being triggered can cause you to react rather than respond.
Understanding that you are triggered in this conflict allows you to take some breaths,
pause and calm yourself in order to prepare an appropriate response. Responding means
that you are able to manage the emotions that come with being triggered by releasing
them and making good decisions about the situation you are faced with.
If, as the leader, you are confronted with how your actions contributed to or even led to
the blowing up of things, consider the possibility that there is truth there, own it if you
need to, resolve to do better the next time and then do better. Being someone who can
self-reflect in this way contributes to creating a safe work climate, thereby reducing the
amount of conflict in the workplace.
22. ‘Ignoring It’ is Not an Option
Robert Cerone, President & CEO, Cognos HR
When company leaders hear of an issue through the grapevine, they may cross their
fingers and hope the issue resolves itself. The truth is, it won’t. If an employee brings up
a problem, odds are it’s been developing for a while. Unresolved workplace issues lead to
resentment, frustrated employees and dysfunctional work teams. HR professionals and
company leaders alike must take the time to investigate, question and make effective
decisions based on facts. The success of your organization may rely on it.
Listening is when you hear what is being spoken. On the other hand, hearing is much
deeper. Hearing is a discernment — it’s what an individual is trying to say and is not
capable of expressing. However, many individuals do not practice how to hear.
Therefore, remember that, when you are listening, the listening will cause you to take
things personally. When you are hearing, the hearing will cause you to understand and
validate the other person.
24. Own Up to Your Role in the Conflict
Stacey Engle, Executive Vice President of Sales & Marketing, Fierce
Conversations
As much as we try, we can’t control other people, only how we react to them. This can be
hard in conflict situations as it is easy to point blame and take little to no responsibility
for our role in it. Instead, challenge yourself to determine how you are adding to the
conflict, and what you can do personally to limit this. It may be as simple as picking up
the phone to address issues vs. relying on email, which can lead to greater
miscommunication. Alternatively, perhaps you recognize the conflict is only escalating
and decide to bring in others to help resolve the problems at hand. The bottom line is that
every conflict is two-sided. Owning up to your role in it is key.
25. Assume Everyone is Doing Their Best
Anne Brackett, Chief Engagement Officer, Strength University
When we’re at work, we’re often stressed and just trying to get everything done. It’s easy
to look at others and think they’re not working as hard as you, they’re doing it wrong or
even that they’re doing things on purpose just to get under your skin. In reality, most
people are just doing their best in the ways they know how to get things done just like
you. Yes, of course, there are some people who do try to get away with the least amount
of work possible or are being passive-aggressive toward you, but when you assume the
best about people you find yourself less preoccupied by their behavior.
The anger you had before dissipates when you realize you don’t really know what’s
happening in that person’s life and even though they may not be doing things like you,
they’re still doing their best.
One of the core reasons it’s vitally important to establish a relationship with your team,
both as a whole and individually, is so that you can accurately assess strengths and
weaknesses as they pertain to certain tasks or objectives.
Once you have a handle on who does what best, this allows you to streamline workflows
in a manner that reduces internal conflict within a project and generally results in
improved efficiency of output. Individuals tend to perform better and become more
engaged in roles where they feel their skill sets are best being utilized. Leveraging
employee management systems and role based systems can help to streamline who does
what, when, and where.
Over to You
This is a great example of how an ounce of prevention is more important than a pound of
cure. With an effective strategy in place, you should be able to protect your business from
the negative effects of conflict in your workplace.
Do you have more workplace conflict resolution strategies in mind? Share them with us
in the comments.
Anna Dizon
Anna Lynn Dizon specializes in writing tip lists and other content for Fit Small
Business. She is a business and finance major who previously worked for a US
risk mitigation company in its regional office in Singapore. Anna started her
writing career as a research and writing assistant for eBooks on various niches.
She spends her free time giving English tutorial lessons. She is also currently
working on her Master’s Degree in Language and Literacy Education.
Ask a Question
------
Conflict in the workplace is a painful reality and a key reason for poor productivity and frustration. Do you
have people in your workplace that cause problems for everyone else? Do they create additional work for
others? One point is clear--conflict does not magically go away and only gets worse when ignored.
Certain types of workplace conflict are readily identified. Other forms of conflict may not be so easily
detected. Small, irritating events such as negative attitudes occur repeatedly over time and can cause people to
strike out at each other. In many cases, conflict occurs at the senior level of the organization. In these situations
some kind of intervention is needed.
What type of workplace conflict requires intervention? Anything that disrupts the office, impacts on
productivity or poses a threat to other employees needs addressing. The degree to which you tolerate a
situation before intervention may vary. A manager may not feel it necessary to intervene when a minor
exchange of words occurs between employees--unless such an incident becomes a daily occurrence and
expands beyond the employees initially involved. However, a situation where one employee threatens another
requires immediate action. When handling conflict, some basic guidelines apply.
Advertisement
Related: 9 Toxic Coworkers to Look Out For (and How to Protect Yourself)
Shutterstock
Kenneth Kaye once said, “Conflict is neither good nor bad. Properly managed, it is absolutely
vital.”
Highly effective leaders identify, understand and develop swift and smart resolutions to
workplace conflicts, most of which demand some level of confrontation. Yet I’ve found many
coaching clients dread confrontation, shifting the focus toward diversionary topics or simply
turning a blind eye to avoid tough conversations. But running from conflict will not serve anyone
well. Ultimately, the elephant in the room only grows or becomes much more unwieldy.
• On a scale of 1-5, how comfortable are you with having tough conversations?
• What is your go-to method for handling conflict with employees? E-mail, phone, face-to-face
or other?
• Is it hard for you to manage your emotions effectively when talking about a challenging or fear-
inducing situation?
• How do you create an open dialogue with your team, regardless of difficult circumstances?
• How comfortable are you with giving what might be perceived as negative feedback?
If your answers to the above are less than appealing, the following tips can guide you to build a
healthy workplace culture that faces confrontation at the right time with courage and confidence:
1. Identify the opportunity. Shift the lens through which you view conflict. By adopting a
positive outlook on confrontation, you’ll discover that every conflict is a new opportunity for
both the other party and you to grow, develop and learn. After all, if you have tended to avoid
conflict, the underlying topics and details are likely things that you have rarely, if ever,
discussed, representing growth opportunities and innovative approaches you have yet to uncover.
2. Build a culture that encourages giving and receiving feedback. Ask your team for their
frequent, healthy feedback, and you will begin to show boldness and encourage transparency
through your example. Allowing unpleasant truths to trickle out gradually fosters a sense of
camaraderie and understanding within your organization, in turn reducing the risk of future
conflict. What’s more, creating honest dialogue lets your employees know their opinions are
valued, raising their level of engagement. Finally, when confrontations do arise, they will feel far
more inclined to receive your concerns with an open mind and an appreciation of your opinion
instead of reflexively thinking the sky is falling.
4. Do not use e-mail for conflict. If e-mail is your go-to to manage conflict, it is time to get
comfortable with uncomfortable conversations. Let your level of fear be your compass. The
more emotion you are feeling, the more the situation is likely to be faced in person. If you don’t,
you are subjecting yourself to the gravitational forces that pull these types of situations
southward. Effective conflict management will require real-time awareness of the facts and your
undivided attention.
5. Engage productively using storytelling. Before any confrontation, consider that the other
person may be right from the beginning and question your own opinion. When you do present
your concerns, start with storytelling if you can, rather than headlining with any abrupt,
premature summaries of your stance on the matter(s) at hand. We experience our lives through
stories, which are entertaining and engaging. Make your case and then create space for the other
person to process and respond to you, and truly listen to them.
Here's an example conflict of a peer ignoring your emails or requests. Say you have an eight-
year-old named Janet.
You: "You know, it’s hilarious that lately when I call Janet in the other room, I can holler four or
five times, and no answer."
You: "But if I yell something like 'Hey, it’s time for ice cream!' she’ll break furniture and run
over the dog to get to me."
Now it’s all in the delivery, and every relationship requires its own special touch, but humor and
storytelling, like in the example above, are much more effective than just sending an instant
message or e-mail. Wouldn’t that be ironic saying, “Why don’t you answer any of my e-mails?”
By being fully accountable to the demands of leadership, and committing yourself to the above
steps, almost every confrontation you have can be redirected toward a productive outcome.
Those former self-doubts and insecurities that hindered your ability to face conflict will be
replaced with confident, courageous resolve and an understanding of the healthy dynamics that
can move your business forward faster than you ever thought possible.
A qualified practitioner of emotional intelligence, Laura Berger has spent 20+ years counseling
leaders at Fortune 500 companies.
----
397s har es
Add to Queue
CONTRIBUTOR
Serial Entrepreneur, Patriot Software Company CEO
November 3, 2017 5 min read
Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.
When you get a group of people together day after day, conflict is inevitable. The employees you
so carefully screened during hiring interviews aren't immune, either. They might have had the
perfect answers to behavioral questions such as, “How do you handle conflict?” Unfortunately,
polished interview responses don’t guarantee a harmonious workplace.
Related: When Faced With an Imperfect Team, Ask Yourself: 'What Would Wonder
Woman Do?'
Workplace conflict can occur in a variety of ways: between two employees, among entire
teams or between supervisors and the team members they manage. As difficult as the issue might
seem in the moment, resolving team conflict is possible. My company, Patriot Software,
provides tools to help day-to-day business operations run more smoothly. In the course of that
work, we've learned much about how small businesses, in particular, can be affected by team
conflict.
1. Embrace conflict.
When conflict arises, don’t avoid it or pretend nothing has happened. As time goes on, tension
will build -- and the conflict only will get worse. Deal with these uncomfortable issues as soon as
possible, before problems and bad feelings become embedded in everyday work.
If you notice a conflict between employees, encourage them to find a way to work it out. If
conflict develops between two teams, it's a good time to improve interdepartmental
communication. If you have a conflict with one of your employee, address it head on and in
private.
2. Talk together.
Set up a time and place so you can talk for an extended span without outside interruptions.
When you do meet, each person should have adequate time to say what he or she believes the
other party needs to hear. Don't let any individual monopolize the conversation or control the
topic. Each person should talk about the disagreements and how he or she feels about the
situation.
Remember, this is not the time to attack or assign blame. Focus on the problem, not your opinion
of the other person’s character.
Related: 6 Communication Tips to Strengthen Your Company's Culture
3. Listen carefully.
It's essential to give your complete attention to the person who is talking. Do not interrupt the
other person.
Make sure you're getting the message he or she intends to send. Rephrase and repeat back what
you've heard to confirm understanding. You might say something along the lines of, “Let me
make sure I understand. You’re upset about _____ because _____.”
Ask clarifying questions if needed. You can request that the other person repeat a central idea or
reword his or her frustrations in a way that makes sense to you.
Listening always should be about gaining understanding. Don’t let yourself become reactionary
to the other person's words.
4. Find agreement.
Your conversation primarily will focus on the disagreements, but resolution is possible only
when you find points of agreement. You should emerge from the experience with some positives
instead of all negatives.
Shed light on commonalities. Share examples or instances in which you agree with the other
person or can see another point of view. For example, if you disagree on new sales tactics, you
might share what you liked about the other person’s idea or the motivation to work harder for the
team.
Looking for agreement demonstrates your willingness to seek out common ground and build a
relationship around those trust elements.
Related: Are People Actually Listening to or Understanding What You Say? Here Are 5
Signs to Watch.
5. Provide guidance.
If you're in a leadership position, there are times you may need to mediate work conflict. Don’t
take sides, ever. Realize you are there simply to help your employees work out their problems.
You might need to guide the conversation. And if hurt feelings run high, it's likely you'll need to
redirect the topic so your employees return to the real problem. If you're in a position to give
advice on next steps, highlight the positive aspects of the process and suggest related topics or
actions they can work through after the meeting.
Related: Good Leaders Know How to Address Problems With a Team Member, Even
When It's Difficult
6. Be quick to forgive.
Every conflict needs a clear resolution that acknowledges hurt feelings and finds a solution that
begins to mend them.
Apologize. Tell the other person you're truly sorry for any ill words or actions -- and mean it.
You'll also need to forgive the other person. Agreeing solely for the sake of appearances can lead
to grudges that deepen over time, undoing any progress you've made together.