Skirt! Magazine October 2010

october
Charleston, SC
skirt!is free!
www.skirt.com
p
Have you j u
m e d for joy lately?
Started a laugh riot with a friend? Woofed
it up with your dog? If you’ve forgotten
Your Laugh Lines,

it might be time to play the Fool. Going
a little Gaga is a good thing—choose
impossible shoes. People will smile at
your style. If you fall down in public, get
up laughing. Dance in the spice aisle to
the supermarket soundtrack. Arm wrestle
for the check. Make dessert an occasion
to celebrate instead of an orgy of regret.
Create an alter-ego name to use at Starbucks.
Be ticklish.
Practice being amazed instead of glazed
over. Text “I love your laugh” to a friend.
Collaborate—it’s another way to play.
Experiment, even if it blows up in your face.
Smile, it’s a renewable resource.

Cover copy by Nikki Hardin, art by Julia Breckenreid
“Forget love—I’d rather fall in chocolate!”

CHAS., SC
PERMIT 1057
PAID attributed to Sandra J. Dykes
U.S. POSTAGE
PRSRT STD
T h e biggest little len der in S ou th Carolina.
When it comes to your mortgage,
TrustUs. Paula and Eddie Byers do.

Paula, the busy head of development for Charleston Special Olympics, grew up with her broth-
er, Eddie, in Florida. “I grew up never really thinking he was different,” says Paula. “He was sim-
ply treated as just another one of the kids.” But it was Eddie’s move to Charleston after the death of
their mother that caused Paula to seek out Special Olympics. “He wanted friends, a job, and
to play basketball, so we got a group together and started the Big Dogs basketball team.” Once
word got around, more families got involved and the organization now has groups for golf, tennis,
sailing, kayaking, soccer, softball, and swimming. Paula says Eddie’s joy of life is infectious, adding that
he has “tons of friends—with and without disabilities. He works at Publix. He’s a successful artist. The
confidence that the Special Olympics has given him has helped him succeed in all that he tries.” When
it came time to buy a new home, Paula chose Lucey Mortgage because she knew how involved Lorcan
and the rest of the staff are in supporting local organizations—most recently their team for the Bocce
Bash to raise money for the Special Olympics. “I believe Special Olympics brings out the best in everyone
it touches,” says Paula. “How lucky I am to know the extended family that is part of this organization!”
Want to make a difference in your life and someone else’s? Become a volunteer for the Special Olympics.
Contact Paula Byers at pbyers1@comcast.net or 843.795.5316.
22 years in business,
a billion dollars in loans,
one of the most trusted
and dependable
Paula Byers companies in Charleston.
Marketing & Development Director
Charleston Special Olympics Lorcan Lucey: 843.884.8133
www.so-sc.org
861 Coleman Boulevard Mt. Pleasant, SC 29464 • www.luceymortgage.net

Family
Feels Like
Photo by Events in Focus Photography
SmilesByHogan.com
New Patients Welcome!

Five Star Treatment & Amenities • Tooth Colored Restorations • Porcelain Veneers
Zoom Whitening • Advanced Hygiene & Periodontal Therapy • Sedation Dentistry
Providing Exceptional Dental Health Care for 25 Years
A beautiful smile is the ultimate accessory

3377 S. Morgan’s Point Road | Suite 411 | Mt. Pleasant, SC | 843.216.0908 LVI Preferred Dentist
charleston.skirt.com octoberw2010 7
SKIN THERAPY CENTER Medical Spa and Healing Center
OCTOber speCials
Buy One Treatment and
Get the Second for
50% Off!
• therMage: face, neck,
stoMach, buttocks & arMs
• laser & ipl for hair reMoval
• led blue light for acne
• e-light for rosacea & skin firMing
• yag laser for age spot reMoval
First Electrolysis Treatment 50% Off

Buy Two Acupuncture Treatments Get the 3rd 50% Off
Dr. Zeyi Chen, Chinese Acupuncturist & Dermatologist from China
CLINIC OF Dr. Zeyi Chen from China Shanghai Medical University; former
Instructor and Chairman of China International Acupuncture School,
ACUPUNCTURE
has been in practice for 46 years, 16 years in Charleston.
Dr. Zeyi Chen is the Grandfather Acupuncturist voted by the
medical board of South Carolina.
acupuncture face lift • electrolysis • infrared sauna • Massage • pilates

Try our Skin Therapy product line for wrinkles, sagging, acne, scars, rosacea and more!
5 Daniel Street Gift Cards Available 1465 Stuart Engal Blvd.

Charleston, SC 29407 WWW.DRZEYICHEN.COM Mt. Pleasant, SC 29464
Tel: (843) 571-6913 WWW.DRCHENstC.COM Tel: (843) 881-1818
octoberw2010 charleston.skirt.com
6
“This local department store
excels in designer clothing
and old school service.”
—Southern Living
Pre-Spring Trunk Show

Fountain of Youth October 22-23
Facial Event
You’re invited to rekindle your skin’s youth during our

Fountain of Youth Facial Event featuring Darphin’s
NEW PREDERMINE
Firming Wrinkle Repair Serum
October 22-23
Call 843.884.9518
916 h o u s to n n o rt h c u t t B lv d. (located at the foot of the Bridge) 843-8G W Y n n s (849-9667) m o n - s at 10-7 W W W.G W Y n n s.co m
charleston.skirt.com octoberw2010
11
Join or
Donate
to
Dr. Jack’s Jolly

Pink Joggers Team
Race for the Cure • October 16, 2010
and Get Products / Services FREE!
Donate to this amazing cause and get the product
or service you have been wanting for FREE.
Donate $10 ~ receive a slimming body Wrap
for only $25.
Donate $30 ~ receive a Luca sunscreen.
Donate $50 ~ receive an eyeluminate cream

for only $30.
Donate $100 ~ receive a box of Latisse.
Donate $200 ~ receive 20 units of botox or

one Velashape body contouring treatment!
Donate $500 ~ Get tHree 1-hour Laser Hair

removal sessions.
Or
Donate $10 to our race for the cure team and

receive any product or service at 10% off regular price!
*This offer does not include surgical procedures or the hCG diet. All offers end 10/16/2010.
Visit
www.komenlowcountry.org
Lowcountry
and find our team
Dr. Jack’s Jolly Pink Joggers
p l a s t i c s u r g e r y to donate
c e n t e r
or call us at 843.971.2860
for more information
offer expires october 31, 2010
www.lowcountryplasticsurgery.com • 843.971.2860
570 Long Point Road, Suite 240 • Mt. Pleasant, SC
15
from the tailgate...
On Erin: Emma Graham Designs Ashley
skirt $98, Black Nikibiki tank $44, Jack
Rogers Black Slim Flat $198, Gold and
Black beaded hoop earrings $40
On Penny: Elliott Lauren Charcoal Sweater

$175, Citizens of Humanity straight leg jean
$158, Tolani printed scarf $78, Gentle Souls
Joyous in Antique Pewter $195
On Melissa: Tulle Cropped Jacket in

Emberglow $68,Tolani Printed Tunic $128,
Citizens of Humanity Ava straight leg jean
$168, Corso Como Quest Leather Boot $279,
Gold plated hoop earrings $30
On Jaclyn: 525 America Black Cashmere

Sweater $218, Citizens of Humanity
Avedon jeggings in Dark Ivy $165, Corso
Como Rhonda Black Leather Riding Boot
$198, Red Cashmere Pashmina $38,
Maslo Designs Gold Rake earrings $58
(from left to right)
...to cocktails
On Jaclyn: Trina Turk River Dress in Ruby
$218, Kate Spade Kathy Black ruffle bootie
$335, Maslo Designs Gold and Black drop
earrings $48
On Erin: Trina Turk Coda Dress $298, Jack

Rogers Black Slim Flats $198, Gold and
Pearl filigree earrings $38, Dark Blue
envelope clutch in Pewter $45
On Penny: Kay Unger Charcoal & Black

Sheath Dress $176, Kate Spade Bloom
Eggplant Suede Pumps $315, Kissaka Black
Crystal and Pearl stranded necklace $55,
Black Crystal drop earring $35, Deep Blue
Black envelope clutch $45
On Melissa: Tibi Genevieve Silk Chiffon

Draped Dress $348, Pour La Victoire Irina
Grey Patent Pumps $245, Red and Gold
filigree earrings $38
(from left to right)
...and
everything in between.
and
friends
Downtown • 311 King Street • 843.723.2999
Mount Pleasant • 280 W. Coleman Blvd. Mount Pleasant • 280 W. Coleman Blvd. • 843.881.3497 Downtown • 317 King Street • 843.723.3838
843.881.3497 Mount Pleasant Towne Centre • 843.881.9889 Mount Pleasant Towne Centre • 843.375.1500
Voted “Best Boutique” every year since 2005.

www.shopcopperpenny.com
Call Today for a free ConsulTaTion
The Tides Medical arTs cenTer
180 Wingo Way Suite 201 • Mount PleaSant
843.856.3999 • www.eastportmedspa.com
David C. Apple, M.D. Amy Webber, MSN, ANP, GNP. Lindsey Craft, Esthetician
octoberw2010 charleston.skirt.com
10
trunk shows
Pixton Bridal
november 5-8
White Couture
november 9-14
Fall
Stock Sale!!
Up to 75% Off!
pure couture bridal

Photo by King Street StudioS
Charleston’s Only Couture Bridal

Boutique with Champagne Bar.
~appointment only~
Daniel Island • 8 4 3 . 4 7 1 . 2 9 7 5 • www.whiteondi.com
October Skirt 2010.pdf 1 9/15/10 10:28 AM
CM
MY
CY
CMY
12 octoberw2010 charleston.skirt.com
brides . m ot h e r s . bridesmaids . f l ower gi r l s . debutantes
Michael
Diane
Hervochon
May 2010
Heather Forsythe Photography
With unique details and innovative designs,

our gowns are unlike any you have seen!
Let us help you pull together your
perfect wedding day style.
Please call to schedule your appointment.

We look forward to seeing you!
843.856.2682
225 Seven Farms Drive, Daniel Island | Ryland Square Building, 4th Floor
GownBoutiqueOfCharleston.com
Mother and daughter team

Heather Forsythe Photography Terri and Krista, with Chloe May
See Hotties Fundraise!
See Hotties Run!
See Hotties Win!
Win Hotties Win!
Join Dr. Hahm

and the
Hot Pink Hotties!
susan g. komen race for the cure
saturday • october 16 • 2010
daniel island, sc
For more information, log onto
www.komenlowcountry.org
to join our team or make a donation
Thomas Hahm, M.D., Board Certified Plastic Surgeon, offers

Natural Breast Reconstruction to all Breast Cancer Patients
Carolina
For a consultation, call
Aesthetic
(843) 884-1400 Plastic
www.CarolinaCosmeticSurgery.com
Surgery
charleston mount pleasant north charleston Institute, PA
Thank You, Vincent Sheheen
Candidate for Governor of South Carolina
For Celebrating 90 Years of Women’s Voting Rights*
Photo by Jack Alterman
Shown with Senator Vincent and Amy Sheheen are some of the nearly 300 nonpartisan, Charleston women who
celebrated the 90th anniversary of the ratification of the 19th Amendment in early September.
Please join us in supporting Vincent Sheheen, the only gubernatorial candidate who has pledged to appoint
qualified women to state boards and commissions. **
SPECIAL THANKS TO THE 90 WOMEN FOR 90 YEARS HOST COMMITTEE

More than 110 Percent Strong
Joan Hitt Algar Kay Kittrell Chitty Lynne E. Ford Nikki Hardin Catherine Malloy Whitney Powers Scott Shanklin-Peterson
Jennet Robinson Alterman Elizabeth Colbert-Busch Julia Forster Dorothy G. Harrison Catherine McCullough Ginny Prevost Harriet Smartt
Marguerite Archie-Hudson Lica Colwell Joan Warshauer Fox Shirley Hendrix Gwen A. McCurdy Rosa Marcela Rabens Maxine Smith
Pearl Ascue Norma Davis Diane Fox Amanda Hollinger Madeleine McGee Susan W. Ravenel Debra S. Stewart
Linda Bakker Elise Davis-McFarland Dorothy Benton Frank Stephanie Hunt Georgette C. McKenzie Jane G. Riley Gail Stuart
Nella G. Barkley Laura Deaton Barbara Fry Andresa Jackson Rhetta A. Mendelsohn Amy Riley Julie Dingle Swanson
Laura Dukes Beck Sallie M. Duell Suzanne Galloway Cathy Jenrette Alicia Mendicino Susan Romaine Doretha Walker
Gloria Murray Bell Gerry Dukes F. Renee Gaters Beth Kerrigan Mary Alice Monroe Ginger Rosenberg Shelia Wertimer
Margaret P. Blackmer Barbara Kelley Duncan Laura Gates Linda L. Lader Valerie B. Morris Dale Rosengarten The Hon. Lucille S. Whipper
Nancy Bloodgood Susan K. Dunn Vanessa White Goodwin Mattese Lecque Kate Nevin Andrea Schenck Cappi Pate Wilborn
Suzan Boyd Nathalie Dupree Sharon Graci Emily Wade Legare Catherine O’Brien Terry Seabrook Catherine Legare Wilhoit
Gwendolyn Brown Mollie Curtis Fair Miriam C. Green Mary Legare Paula Orr Margaret Seidler Holland A. Williams
Tamara Brown-Boone Thuane B. Fielding Toya Green Jan P. Lipov Noele Pace Bev Seinsheimer Giselle D. Wrenn
Barbara Burgess Carol H. Fishman Leah Greenberg Tish Lynn Anne Darby Parker Darcy Shankland Anita Zucker
Alys Campaigne Jamee Haley Susan Pearlstine
* African-American women were made to wait an additional 15 years for this right. **South Carolina ranks a dismal 50th in the nation in number of women holding elected office.
To submit resumes for consideration for boards and commissions post-election, please visit
www.scelectswomen.com/sc_gap.
SC GAP is a broad-based, bi-partisan project of the Southeastern Institute for Women in Politics.
Join us on Women for Sheheen
16 octoberw2010 charleston.skirt.com - Paid for by Independent-Minded Women -

THERESORTSHOP
FreshFields Village Johns island At the entrance to Kiawah and Seabrook Islands 843.768.4466 theresortshop.com
17
Your Costume Headquarters!
One of the Largest Costume Shops on the East Coast!
~ buy or rent yours today ~
1015 St. Andrews Blvd. ~ West Ashley ~ 843.556.6607
Halloween Hours: Mon-Sat 10-9 ~ Sun 1-6 Costumes
Lookin’
Scary? ;
Mark Your calendar:
Thursday • October 14th • 5:30-7pm ;
Zeltiq Night
Muffin Top, Love Handles, Back Fat?
Learn About the New Non-Invasive Way to Reduce Fat.
LIVE Demonstration and Presentation
Space is Limited. Please RSVP 881-4440
; Thursday • November 11th • 3:30-7:30pm ;
2nd Annual Sparkle Party
To Make You Sparkle & Glow
Space is Limited. Please RSVP 881-4440
;
october specials
Receive 10% Off your laser treatment
;
Iron out your wrinkles without pain! purchase a Pelleve
Treatment and receive a Dermasweep for only $50.
;
Receive $150 Off each syringe of Perlane
($75 Off at purchase, $75 mail-in rebate)
;
Receive $200 Off the purchase of 2 syringes of Restylane
($100 Off at purchase, $100 mail-in rebate)
;
Dysport and Botox 10% Off
;
Purchase over $100 of products and
receive 20% Off your purchase
;
Sun Undone Peel—End of summer Laser Peel
$375 ($450 value)
Marguerite A. Germain, M.D.

Voted “Best Dermatologist”
four years running!
check out our Website for october specials!!

WWW.GerMaiNDerMatoloGY.coM
612 Seacoast Parkway | Mount Pleasant | 843.881.4440 | germaindermatology.com
21
JOIN US FOR
experience couture PABLO PICASSO’S

BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!
4VOEBZt0DUPCFSUItQN
Pottery Specials All Day
Live Entertainment featuring Jamie Marcotte
Heavy Hors d’ouevres & Drinks
from 4pm-8pm
c ustom a p p a r el r ef lectin g p e r s o n al s ty l e .
YOUR ONLY LIMIT IS YOUR IMAGINATION.

BIRTHDAY PARTIES•BRIDAL SHOWERS•BABY SHOWERS•LADIES NIGHT OUT•CHEAP THERAPY...
ev e ning sp or tswea r co cktail bus ine s s
For more information on our specials, upcoming
events or to book your next party, call
shastudio.com 843.871.8090
(843) 532-6341 or visit our website
www.possiblypicasso-pottery.com
Oakbrook Shopping Plaza • 10050 Dorchester Rd. Summerville • 843.871.8090
Stylists
JACKSON BROWN
RONNIE TROTTER
KIM JONES
Salon 101 Spring

BRIAN CANTRELL
Midtown Elegance
First time clients
receive complimentary
shampoo and conditioner

with color treatment.
COPPOLA
DESIGNER HAIR CARE
www.101spring.com |  Spring Street | Downtown Charleston | --
18 october12010 charleston.skirt.com
THE Place for
Advanced Laser
Solutions...on
Shem Creek.
ROBERTA KARNOFSKY, M.D.
ABDOMEN BEFORE ABDOMEN AFTER CHIN BEFORE CHIN AFTER
OCTOBER SPECIAL
10% Discount to All Healthcare Employees
FRACTIONAL SKIN RESURFACING t SKIN TIGHTENING t SUN & AGE DAMAGE t SCARS t ROSACEA t STRETCH MARKS t DISCOLORATION OF FACE & BODY t HYPERHIDROSIS
SmartLipo MPX Laser Body Sculpting and

Affirm MPX Fractional Skin Resurfacing
EXCLUSIVELY AT
410 Mill Street, Suite 402 | On Shem Creek | Mt. Pleasant, SC | lowcountrylaserworks.com | 843.881.3777 | 888.73.LASER
charleston.skirt.com october12010 21
R e i n v e n t with
YoAmanda
u r Seay,
s e lDDSf
Artistic Talent
Technical Competence
Beautiful Results
“My practice focuses on complex, multi-faceted
cosmetic and restorative dental procedures and
techniques. We also provide comprehensive
preventative hygiene services. My team and I
have dedicated hundreds of hours to advanced
training in order to create an exceptional and
friendly dental experience in a spa environment.”
PARK WEST
DENTISTRY
Amanda Seay, DDS
3404 Salterbeck St., Suite 202 Mt. Pleasant
www.AmandaSeay.net | (843) 375-0395
Pankey
Sustaining Member
InstItute
Join Lowcountry Plastic
Surgery Center for
“Wrapping for the Cause”
MonDay, oCtobeR 11
SineCera Salon
Hwy. 17 in Mt. Pleasant
tHuRSDay, oCtobeR 21
White House black Market
Mt. Pleasant towne Centre
tueSDay, oCtobeR 26
Lowcountry beauty and Wellness
Spa @ Lowcountry Plastic
Surgery Center
Wrap your arms, legs, tummy, etc... and detoxify

and melt away inches in as little as 45 minutes.
$25 per wrap
or get
4 wraps for $49
when you sign up for our
Loyal Customer Program.
$10 of each wrap will be donated to our

Race for the Cure Lowcountry
Plastic Surgery Center team:
Dr. Jack’s Jolly Pink Joggers
REAL PEOPLE. REAL RESULTS!
You must RSVP to qualify for our
Lowcountry
great giveaways for each event
p l a s t i c s u r g e r y
843.971.2860
c e n t e r
www.lowcountryplasticsurgery.com
570 Long Point Road, Suite 240 • Mt. Pleasant, SC
october
about skirt!
Publisher
features
Nikki Hardin
publisher@skirt.com Hey Lady!
Art Director Amy C. Balfour ......................................................................................34
Caitilin McPhillips
caitilin.mcphillips@skirt.com
Editor/Charleston
Margaret Pilarski The Car Cart
margaret.pilarski@skirt.com Robyn Passante .....................................................................................40
Advertising Staff
Catherine Lambert
cat.lambert@skirt.com
Pro Kiters
Julie Perretta-McCarthy
julie.perretta@skirt.com Jami Bonyun .............................................................................................48
Harriet Apostolou
harriet.apostolou@skirt.com
Jenny Dennis The Cat Lady
jenny.dennis@skirt.com
Bree Barton ...........................................................................................62
Ad Design
Cristina Young
CHSads@skirt.com
Assistant Graphic Designer Dating for Dummies

Heather Hall Jen Rognerud ..........................................................................................72
heather.hall@skirt.com
Office Manager
Melissa Goodrich Krueger
melissa.krueger@skirt.com Eat, Pay, Leave
Contributors Stacy Appel ............................................................................................80
Traci Daberko
Karen Greenberg
Stephanie Hunt
Photography
F-Word: “Have We Forgotten the Ladies?”
Marni Rothschild Durlach Jennet Robinson Alterman .............................................................82
Leigh Webber
Alice Keeney
Charleston Center for Photography
sheMAIL
7 Radcliffe Street, Suite 302
ineveryissue
Charleston, SC 29403
Office 843.958.0027
Sales: 843.958.0028
Letters...........................................................................................................26
FAX: 843.958.0029
sales@skirt.com
editor@skirt.com He’s So Original......................................................................................36
skirt! is
all about women... Calendar......................................................................................................43
their work, play, families,
creativity, style, health and wealth,
bodies and souls. skirt! is
an attitude...spirited, independent,
She Said, He Said....................................................................................44
outspoken, serious, playful and
irreverent, sometimes controversial,
always passionate. Skirt of the Month................................................................................51
skirt.com
skirt! is published monthly and
distributed free throughout
SmartGirl....................................................................................................53
the greater Charleston area.
skirt! reserves the right to refuse to
sell space for any advertisement the
staff deems inappropriate for the
Browse..........................................................................................................65
publication. Unsolicited manuscripts
must be accompanied by a self-
addressed, stamped envelope. Letters
to the editor are welcome, but may skirt! Alerts/Brava/It’s a Shame...................................................66
be edited due to space limitations.
Press releases must be received by
the 1st of the month for the following
month’s issue. All content of this skirt! Loves..............................................................................................75
magazine, including without limitation
the design, advertisements, art,
photos and editorial content, as well
as the selection, coordination and Girl Power..................................................................................................86
arrangement thereof, is Copyright
© 2010, Morris Publishing Group,
LLC. All Rights Reserved. No portion
of this magazine may be copied or 24/7 with…...............................................................................................88
reprinted without the express written
permission of the publisher. SKIRT!®
is a registered trademark of Morris
Publishing Group, LLC. Planet Nikki................................................................................................90
O What’s
C T Happening
O B E R
CELEBRATING 20 YEARS OF HELPING WOMEN!

4-WEEK EMPOWERMENT GROUPS WOMEN WRITERS FORUM
Flash Fiction The Book in You

Hone your writing skills through short, short fiction. How to decide the right genre for the story that’s in you!
Facilitated by Lisa Chewning, Write-It Right Signe Pike, Penguin USA Editor and Author, Faery Tale
Saturdays, October 2 - 30 10:00am–Noon Saturday, October 9 10:00am–12:00 Noon
Registration required: $40 C4W Members; $70 Non-members Registration required: $25 C4W Members; $50 Non-members
Managing Your Life by Managing Your $

Uncover self-sabotaging money habits. Learn new tools & take control! YOU CAN DO IT! SERIES
Facilitated by Diane Blackwelder, CFP, Charleston Financial Advisors I Love Chocolate: Truffle Making
Mondays, October 4-25 6:00pm–8:00pm Learn the basic ganache recipe for truffles and other treats. Take home samples!
Registration required: $40 C4W Members; $70 Non-members
Lauren Mitterer, WildFlour Pastry
Thursday, October 21 6:00pm–8:00pm
Separation and Divorce
Exchange ideas and practice new solutions. Find comfort without criticism.
Facilitated by Elise Richard, LPC, CACII, Ashley Therapy Associates Location: WildFlour Pastry, 73 Spring St, Downtown Charleston
Wednesdays, October 6-27 5:30pm–7:30pm Business Sponsors: Care for Life, Eldercare Experts, Mary Peters
Registration required: $40 C4W Members; $70 Non-members Financial Management Group, Danna Helms, Financial Advisor
T I C K E T S G O I N G FA S T !
ENTREPRENEURIAL WOMAN SERIES
“We Can Do It!”
Cause Marketing You’ll be talking about this party all weekend!
How to develop successful revenue-generating partnerships
Founders Hall, Charlestowne Landing in West Ashley
among non-profits & businesses. Examples given.
6pm to 9pm
Lee Deas, Obviouslee Marketing $75 C4W members before Oct 5
$100 Non-members and after Oct 5
Tuesday, October 12 6:00pm–8:00pm To order tickets, go to www.c4women.org
Business Sponsors: SunTrust

Media Sponsor: Charleston Regional Business Journal
SUMMERVILLE SERIES
Fundamentals of Room Design
Learn the basics & bring your questions. Free consultations after program.
BROWN BAG LUNCH SERIES Adrian Sims & Ivie Parker, Parker-Sims Interiors
Sandra Gaylord, Gaylord Design
Newcomers to Charleston
Get the inside scoop on what groups and activities to get involved with.
Wednesday, October 27 Program 6:00pm to 7:30pm
Jennifer Buddin, The Little Black Book for every busy woman Refreshments & networking 5:30pm –6:00pm
Allyson Bird, The Post & Courier
Thursday, October 14 at Noon • FREE Registration required: $20
Location & Partner: Greater Summerville Chamber of Commerce & Visitor Center
Business Sponsor: AllCare Living Services
Working from Home Food & Beverage Sponsor: Dish & Design Catering and Events
Hear how these business women make their home offices really work!
Katie Kern, CircaPR JOB COUNSELING

Amanda Moreno Duke, Cutie Pa Tutu
Power Resume Workshop
Turn your resume into a powerful marketing tool that really sells you!
Thursday, October 21 at Noon • FREE
Jane Perdue, CEO, Braithewaite Group
NEW
Title Sponsor: Merrill Lynch Thursday, October 28 9:30am–12:30pm
Mary Helen Condon Moore, CFM & Lynn Anne Gillen, CIMA
Registration required: $20
Business Sponsor: Belk Department Store
Media Sponsor: Little Black Book for every busy woman Sponsor: MeadWestvaco, BlueCross BlueShield of South Carolina
ALLCARE
ALL
A CARE
A
LIVING
LI
IVING
SERVICES,
SERVI
ERRVIICES, Inc.
Inc.
Unless noted, all events are held at 129 Cannon St. (between Ashley Ave. & President St.) Find us on Facebook
For daytime parking, one hour street parking is available or consult our website for close-by parking garages.
Parking is free nights and weekends at 30 Bee St. To phone us, call (843) 763-7333. Follow us on Twitter
To learn more or register for any event, visit www.c4women.org. Join us on LinkedIn
october
[ the smile issue ]
W E L OV E !
1
23
dearskirt!
There’s a spate of staggering stats
on the importance of marketing to
women. A recent MediaPost item
cited 85% of household purchases
Just when being influenced by women; 55% of
I get to think- spending on consumer electronics
ing that skirt! coming from women; and the fact that
64% of women plan to use the Internet
cannot get to find sales and compare prices.
much better
than it has Women love the process of buying
been this year,

as much—if not more—than the
transaction itself.
you just keep
raising the And that leads me to my secret
bar. I loved the source for marketing to women: skirt!

Magazine. skirt! is the brainchild of
September is- Nikki Hardin, and she has created
sue. As always, editions in several markets. It’s also
it seems to be available online at skirt.com.
speaking to September’s cover quote says it all:
just me. “The score never interested me, only
the game.” – Mae West
I just wanted to let you know that I
love your magazine. I run to the book- Reading skirt! provides a wonderful Join us for a fun-filled weekend.
store every month to grab one and window to the mind and thought
am so disappointed when the rack is pattern of women. I commend it. live music,
empty! I keep the magazine when I’m Excerpted from the children’s activities,
done reading and use the pages to
Rawle Murdy blog (a marketing an around the world party,
and communications firm)
decorate, and even to wrap gifts. What Charleston, SC and more.
a beautiful, fun and inspiring maga-
...magazine Friday, October 8th
zine for our city. Well done!
Raquel White when I’m
Memphis,TN
done read- 6:00 to 9:00 p.m.
ing and use Join us for a free live concert by Plane Jane. Bring a picnic.
The best-dressed picnic wins a Freshfields gift certificate.
Just when I get to thinking that skirt!
the pages to
cannot get much better than it has
decorate, and Saturday, October 9th
been this year, you just keep raising
even to wrap 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.
gifts. What a
the bar. I loved the September issue.
As always, it seems to be speaking Farmer’s Market, children’s activities,
to just me. The articles were great beautiful, fun art demonstrations, live music.
and the profiles were excellent. Keep and inspiring 5:00 to 8:00 p.m.
Participating stores will host an Around the World Party.
up the great work and I’m anxiously magazine for Enjoy snacks and beverages from countries around the world
awaiting the October issue.
Nicole Sickmann
our city. and shop your favorites stores to receive special gifts,
promotions, and sales.
Knoxville,TN
Sunday, October 10th

So far I’ve read three copies of skirt!
2:00 to 7:00 p.m.
and I love it. I believe in women being
5th Annual American Music Celebration
independent and standing up for Our Fall Festival festivities conclude with an afternoon of
their beliefs. As a teenage mother, live music from some of the country’s most renowned
I’m constantly feeling pressure to do
jazz and blues musicians.
things that are morally right and things
that mothers should do. I think it’s
LOL
great that skirt! publishes people that
are role models and have something
positive to say about women. Keep up
visit www.freshfieldsvillage.com for
the good work. Have an opinion? more information or call 843-768-6491.
Email editor@skirt.com.
Laura Canales All letters to the editor must include the
High Point, NC writer’s name and city/state.
26
26 october
octoberww2010
2010 charleston.skirt.com
charleston.skirt.com
from the publisher
cover artist the smile issue

got news?
Julia Breckenreid’s illustra-
Let us know
When you have worked on an issue devoted to smiles and humor for over a
tion work is informed by a what’s on your
mind, respond to month, you start to get cranky around deadline. Videos of cats doing yoga and
diverse background of ex- an article, or give
us info on an cute stories about kids make you grind your teeth, chocolate does not make
periences and perspectives. upcoming event.
you happy and jokes just seem like annoying time-sucks. And then you realize
Send letters or press re-
Both conceptual and in-
leases to editor@skirt.com, or you still have to write an editorial. About Smiles. It’s not that you don’t want
tuitive, her versatile palette
mail to skirt! to write it, but evidently your funny bone is broken from overuse. So what you
and agile approach enable Charleston,
end up with is a list of things that might be funny if they weren’t so stupid,
her to quickly grasp a cli- 7 Radcliffe St., Suite 302,
Charleston, SC, 29403.
annoying or astounding:
ent’s needs, to find the right
tone and deliver the most  1/5 of Americans think Obama is a Muslim.
compelling visual expression contribute  That we all know who Snooki is. I’m particularly sad that knowledge is now
of their message. Julia’s illus- We are always in my brain.
looking for
trations have garnered rec- new writers and
artists.  Ashton Kutcher playing Ashton Kutcher being cool in the Nikon ads.
ognition from many awards
Our guidelines for
and associations, including writers and artists are  The fact that anyone would use 60 minutes of their allotted lifespan to watch
3×3 Magazine, American available online at skirt.com. Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars.
Submit artwork or essays
Illustration, the Society of  Wedding parties still dancing down the aisle long after the original viral
via e-mail to submissions@
Illustrators (LA), Lürzer’s skirt.com. Check out our video. Are they getting married or auditioning for Glee?
Archive and Taschen’s Illus- website at skirt.com for
 That BP thinks viewers believe their concerned-citizen TV ads.
tration Now! Her clients have giveaways, essays, and other
extras that aren’t in the
included Chronicle Books,  The ubiquitous lardon. A sophisticated name for pork chunks in your salad.
print edition.
The Washington Post and
 Etsy crafts that feature creature faces that seem to say “I’m part squirrel,
MORE Magazine, to name a
few. breckenreid.com
distribute part girl.” Whoever started this should have their felt taken away.
Need additional And when you’re through venting, you suddenly feel much, much better.
copies of skirt!?
Almost smiley-faced, in fact.
If you would like to
have copies of skirt! in
your business, give us a call. Nikki publisher@skirt.com
from the editor

Some children have rosy cheeks, curly tendrils of hair and finger-painting skills. I was never one of these children. I had crowded teeth, chicken pox scars and a permanent
scowl. My mother swears I was never a lover, a hugger, a cuddler. I recall one housewife-haired babysitter who once tickled me until I couldn’t breathe. I never sat near her
again. And as soon as I realized that other adults called my mom by another name, I did that too. My cantankerous firstborn status was cemented at the tender age of three:
“Sylvia, I’d like my glass of milk now.” I like to think at least that made her smile. I’m still reticent to hug it out—can’t we drink or talk it out?—but being unimpressed for
much of my life was overrated. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing like a good “are you stupid?” stare, but at the end of the day, it’s smiles that count. This month you’ll
see seven of Charleston’s brightest smiles: Lillian, Mackie, Dell, Lisa, Lindsey, Stephen and Crystal. Behind their smiles are your well-being, your closet, and Charleston’s
treats, takeout and tipples. I still have the crowded teeth and the chicken pox scars, but this month I’ve remembered to de-scowl.
Margaret margaret.pilarski@skirt.com
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...sometimes a Southern gal has to work things out for herself.
Amy C. Balfour

Hey Lady!
As a travel writer, I have several phrases I never want uttered in my presence:

“About the bed bugs...” and “We seem to be losing altitude...” spring to mind.
But there’s no clearer indication that my day is about to be ruined than hearing
“Hey lady!” yelled from afar. Like the glimpse of an iceberg on a cold April night,
“Hey lady!” is a simple but ominous warning, one that sends an immediate chill to
“cobblestone to cocktail”
the depths of my soul. Or it would, if not for the fact that I’m always momentarily
confused, never immediately aware that I am, in fact, the “lady” in question.
Why the fear? Because “Hey lady!” often precedes a horrible announce-
ment: “Hey lady! Your dress is tucked into your underwear!” or “Hey lady! You
know you just drove over a kitten!” Discretion prevents further elaboration.
Although, most of the time “Hey lady!” means someone is gearing up for a
sales pitch. And whether it’s a finger puppet in Nassau or spiced turkey jerky in 161 King Street
Temecula, I can assure you, I never want it. I do not want it on a plane, I do not Downtown Charleston
want it on a train. I do not want it in my purse, don’t ask again, I might just curse. charlestonshoeco.com
The problem is that I’m incapable of ignoring the person yelling “Hey 843.720.2003
lady!”—I’ll always approach, like a dog sniffing a porcupine. A child reaching
for a hot burner. John McCain sitting down with the ladies of the The View.
Curious, optimistic, stupid. I don’t want the turkey jerky, but here I come.
My excuse? The last gasping throes of manners and civility in a world that
no longer cares. Raised in Virginia, I’m a master of the Southern mode of com-
munication. If someone tries to sell a Southern woman something she doesn’t
want, there’s a procedure for polite refusal based on generations of passive-ag-
gressive behavior. Cliché, yes. But a cliché implicitly understood by all parties.
For 200 years, the world has misunderstood Southern ways. I will now ex-
plain in four paragraphs how we think, using a typical scenario at the Virginia
Junior League Arts & Crafts Fair:
Amy wanders the booths. She pauses, mesmerized by an unusual purse. The
Pursemaker smiles, “Each one’s made of 15 MoonPie wrappers.
Amy takes a closer look, concluding that if this was the last handbag
on Earth, she would henceforth carry her money in her shoe. “Adorable!
How’d you come up with that?”
“Cute, right? It just came to me, looking at all the wrappers sitting there in
the trash. And then, voilà!”
Amy smiles, “Voilà! But you know what? My niece made me one out of
Frito bags just last week, bless her heart, and I don’t want to hurt her feelings by
buying one so similar. But I love your stuff. You have a card?”
Can you see the mastery of this exchange? Pursemaker understands her goods
have been refused, but there are no hurt feelings because I have complimented
said purse, blamed an absent 10-year-old and expressed future interest. Everyone
feels good about herself. Toasts all around. And I can assure you, she never hol-
lered, “Hey lady!”
I have found on my travels, however, that most people do not understand
this delicate art of refusal. Outside the perimeters of the Mason-Dixon, a po-
lite expression of admiration before a refusal is perceived to be actual interest,
which results in a harder sell.
Recent efforts to toughen up have failed. While researching a guidebook in
Los
Just need to dropAngeles,
in myforaddress.
example, I spent a morning checking out restaurants on gritty
Hollywood
The Shops of Boulevard. On the sidewalk, a wild-haired ruffian approached. He
Mount Pleasant
320 West Coleman Blvd Unitme
zeroed in, targeting A with a pointed “Hey lady!”
Mount Pleasant, I stopped,
SC 29464 deciding it was time to take charge of my life. No more passive-
aggressive waffling. I looked him in the eye and proclaimed: “I don’t have any!”
843-216-1911
Any what, I cannot tell you. Money? Breath mints? Common sense? I
paused. The ruffian paused. The world stopped on its axis. And then the ruffian
realized he was offended. He snapped back: “I ain’t even asked you for nuthin’
yet!” How true. My apologies. Here’s a dollar.
Since social interaction is an inevitable part of my job, I’ve decided to try a
new approach. One that I hope will minimize frustration for all involved. It came
to me recently as I trudged toward a fish market on a distant tropical isle, just
moments after “Hey lady! You wanna be my girlfriend?”
I paused. His audacity was compelling. Forget manners. Forget propriety.
Why not say yes? I could live my life by the tenets of the improv handbook
where the first rule is: “Never deny anyone’s offer.” Say yes. Keep the show The Shops of Mount Pleasant
flowing. Carpe diem y’all! 320 West Coleman Blvd Unit A
So that’s my plan. In the future, if a guy on the side of the road yells, “Hey Mount Pleasant, SC 29464
843.216.1911
lady!” then asks me to be his girlfriend, instead of blurting a flustered no, I’ll just
say yes. After a few seconds of celebration, I’ll then ask him how I look in my
jeans. I’ve kept the show going and upped the ante. Depending on his answer,
I’ll counter or simply walk away.
And yes, I realize that this strategy is known worldwide as “negotiation,”
but sometimes a Southern gal has to work things out for herself.
Amy has written for the Los Angeles Times, Backpacker, Redbook, Southern Living
and Women’s Health and authored or co-authored seven guidebooks for Lonely
Planet including Los Angeles Encounter and the upcoming USA’s Best Trips.
charleston.skirt.com october
october 2010 35
ww2010
he’s so original
Stephen Smoak will lift, and pour, your spirits.

A decade as Rue de Jean’s barkeeper has done nothing for Stephen’s French, but he can parlez-vous a martini like je ne sais quoi.
In addition to keeping glasses filled for Rue’s regulars—whom he knows by sight and by preferred sip—Stephen is finishing course work to apply to
nursing school. “I realized that I can’t keep bartending for the next 20 or 30 years,” he says, though he loves the people, the non-traditional schedule
and the high energy, non-stop pace that mixing and serving requires. “I’m one of these people who can’t sit still, I’ve got too much go in me,”
he admits. Part of that “go” is spent with daughter Ava Wyatt (4 ½ ), who goes to Montessori school, while mom completes her architecture degree
in Savannah (“we’re all three in school!” Stephen laughs). Golf is another Smoak passion, with a food-and-bev flair—
“I especially love beating Ben Berryhill, Ken Vedrinski and Mike Lata.”
The best thing about wearing a skirt? “Showing off my hairy legs.”
His favorite thing about reading skirt!? “It keeps me in tune with what my wife is feeling, thinking and wanting to have.”
Photo by Marni Rothschild Durlach

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...I’m absolutely sure this godforsaken thing
was not designed by a mother, or anyone with kids, or anyone who shops
for more than one day’s worth of food.
Robyn Passante
B
efore I had kids, I scoffed at any mother I saw Aisle 12: I remember the taco seasoning but forget the refried beans. I cannot
wheeling around one of those ridiculously large turn around in the aisle, especially with people behind me, so I have to cruise up
car-shaped grocery carts. She always looked Aisle 13 to return to Aisle 12.
frazzled with a vague sense of forced oblivion, Aisle 12 redux: This thing has more blind spots than a semi. I almost bump
as though since she couldn’t see her children into an old lady with a mini-cart. As I swerve to avoid her, the stack of coupons
at the moment, then she didn’t have to mind sitting on the baby’s legs flutters to the floor. I won’t realize I didn’t find them all
them. (She sure could hear them, though; there’s until I’m checking out.
something about being in those plastic cages Aisle 14: Another run-in with the same old lady, only this time I hit her cart.
that makes kids scream like banshees.) Oops. Quick, boys, look cute.
Now that I’m a work-from-home mom with Aisle 15: My toddler has begun chanting. “Mama, mama, mama, mama,
a two-year-old and a two-month-old whose job mama, mama...” At first I try to answer him, but soon realize he is not ex-
it is to get the groceries each week, I am the pecting an answer. This is some type of song. Or rhetorical statement. Or
frazzled one pushing the car cart. A typical grocery store visit for us goes some- form of torture.
thing like this: Meat counter: At this point I’m absolutely sure this godforsaken thing was
Entrance: The baby sleeps blissfully in his car seat perched on the back of the not designed by a mother, or anyone with kids, or anyone who shops for more
cart while I manage to get a wiggly toddler through a plastic window and belted than one day’s worth of food. The engineers shrank the size of the basket to com-
in against his will. Then I realize there’s toddler goo all over the horn and crumbs pensate for the size of the car attached to it. This makes very little sense since the
on the seat. The conveniently placed canister of sanitized wipes near the doorway people who use these carts have more than one mouth to feed. My basket is full
is empty. and I’ve still got six aisles to go! I try to perch my stack of fresh meat packages
Produce: It’s impossible to keep the car cart out of everyone’s way as I bag my on top of the car. Five seconds later, they fall off.
fruit. So I plod through produce like I’m lost, backtracking and apologizing as I Aisle 19: The woman with the car cart and bickering siblings is at the other
go. That’s when I see a kindred spirit—another mom huffing behind one of these end of the aisle. As we approach one another I give her the “Isn’t this a pain in the
stupid red carts. She’s got two kids, both in the “car,” and they’re arguing. I see butt?” eye roll-slash-smile and she gives me the “Oh God, I hear ya sister” grin
my future, and I don’t like it. and I answer with an “I used to vow I’d never push one of these friggin’ things”
Aisle 2: Every time I stop the cart, my two-year-old sticks his head out the face and she nods with an “I wish they gave out samples of wine here” look that
side and asks if he can walk now. This will continue for the next nine aisles. Every makes me want to hug her. Then we heave our carts in opposite directions, but
single time I stop the cart. mine feels a little lighter. There is strength in numbers.
Aisle 5: I’m pushing the cart slowly, looking for the needle-in-a-haystack kind of Aisle 20: There’s a giant delivery cart filled with boxes of eggs taking up half
bread my husband likes when I feel a thump. I’ve knocked over an entire display stand the aisle. It’s in the way of the yogurt I need to get, and I begin to huff at the stock
of individually wrapped Hostess cupcakes. The stand seems like it’s 10 feet away from boy before realizing that my car cart is actually slightly bigger. And the way I
where I’m standing but then again, so is the front of my cart. A nice woman stoops to feel about him right now is how everyone else has felt about me for the last hour
help pick them all up. For the next 15 aisles I will pat myself on the back—and sigh when they saw me coming up the aisle.
with remorse—for not putting any cupcakes in my cart. Checkout: My son yells the entire time we’re in line. Not words, just
Aisle 11: My son stops asking if he can walk and instead tries to escape. He “Aaaaah!!!! Aaaaahhh!!! Aaaahhhh!!!” at the top of his lungs, a wordless “I’m
manages to get his head, shoulders and chest out the side window despite being mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore” tirade. I try to talk to him. Scold
buckled in. I’m tempted to let his determined little noggin “tap” the cereal boxes him. Bribe him. Finally, I push the cart into the tiny checkout aisle and, since I can
on the bottom shelf as we pass. The image makes me giggle. no longer see or reach him, I ignore him. Forced oblivion. Ahhhhh.
Robyn Passante is a freelance writer, blogger and editor who lives in the Harrisburg, PA, area with her husband and two young sons.
She has recently discovered the joys of online grocery shopping.
Freshfields Village
Johns Island
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october
sunday monday tuesday wednesday thursday funday saturday
The Women at Work Professional 11 2
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production premiere Pleasant hosts a Mom-to-
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Double Vision lecture with water and as in the Beatty Center promises it’s full of to benefit Saint John Marion Square with
series. Free, open to the a last ditch rescue (5 Liberty Street, easy-peasy recipes Catholic School. Tickets 108 sun salutations.
public, and comes with a effort, stored it in downtown). Free, with few ingredients, $20/person, 744.3901. louieskids.org/yoga
complimentary glass of a Ziploc bag full of 3:30-4:30pm. while still maintain-
wine from Social Wine rice to absorb the ing wow-factor. The Halsey Institute “Edgar Allan Poe: Back
Bar. Lecture begins at moisture. brings the 2010-2011 from the Grave” takes
6pm, 136 St. Philip St. oct. challenge Southern Circuit Tour of you into Poe’s mind in an
reduxstudios.org Independent Filmmakers original performance art
“Every day, try to have compassion to Charleston. Free, 8pm, event. Poe’s characters
for five kinds of people: someone come to life within the
16
Simons Center for the
Looking for you’re grateful to (a ‘benefactor’); a Arts, room 309. passageways of Fort
a good man? loved one or friend; a neutral person; Moultrie. creativespark.org
Raising one? someone who is difficult for you—
and yourself.”
The Blue Bicycle Books
Author’s Luncheon
@GoodMenProject Series with local authors
on Twitter is “start- From Buddha’s Brain,
OPENING ing a conversation by Rick Hanson
Josephine Humphreys
and Beth Webb Hart.
this about what it means

to be a good man.”
continues today from
12 to 2 pm. For tickets,
13 14
month Join in! 722.2666.
Success!
10 11
Don’t miss the 6th annual Mikayla Mackaness and Jenny Bloom speak tonight at The League of Women Tonight top Charleston chefs provide gourmet Wanna try something
Read and Romp Family Redux’s Double Vision lecture series. Free, open to the Voters Charleston host samplings at the 11th Annual Signature Chefs Auction new? How about a
Benefit Event. Head to public, and comes with a complimentary glass of wine District 1 congressional to support the March of Dimes. marchofdimes.com/ beginners fly fishing class
the SC State Museum in from Social Wine Bar. Lecture begins at 6pm, 136 St. candidates for a one- southcarolina with Capt. John Irwin of
Columbia from 1-4pm Philip St. reduxstudios.org hour forum. The audience Fly Right Charters. $75
today for fun, learning- will be able to submit fee includes lunch and
treat
based activities themed written questions and materials. Call 571.3899
around children’s books. distribute campaign or email chrisulmer@
Best suited for kids ages literature, so come thecharlestonangler.com.
2-8. Adults free, kids $10. prepared! Begins at 7pm
Lisa Chewning, of
reachoutandreadsc.org at Wando High School. Write-It-Right, facili-
tates Saturday Flash
Children are invited to Fiction workshops.
dress up their teddy Have you been watching Season 8 of Project Runway? The season finale
airs this month with Jessica Simpson guest-judging the final runway A cross between a
bears and bring them to short story and a
shows at New York Fashion Week.
the Teddy Bear Picnic prose poem, flash
in Hampton Park. Enjoy fiction can help you
crafts, activities, and live
music by Sol Driven Train,
1-4pm. charlestonparks
The Two highesT iQs ever recorded hone your writing
skills. 10am-12pm,
$40/members, $70/
conservancy.org (on a sTandard TesT) boTh belong To women. non-members.
c4women.org
17 20 23
The India Association of We’ll be at Third Wednesdays: Caveman Masculinity: Pop-Darwinist Constructions The Avondale Business
Greater Charleston hosts of Manhood. Why do we seem determined to believe that men are the way they Association and Triangle
IndiaFest2010 in Marion are because of what happened in caveman times? Third Wednesday events are Char and Bar host a 5K
A string of orange hand-thrown ceramic lights
Square, downtown. from Pigeon Toe Ceramics in Portland is perfectly informal conversational salons and are open to the public. Noon, on campus in Run and Walk to benefit
From 12-5pm, enjoy at home on Halloween and every other night of Stern Center 409. The Charles Webb
demonstrations, dance, the year. (More colors on pigeontoeceramics.com.) Center. Register before
music and food of India. the 20th and $30 gets
you a t-shirt, entry to the
Only 1 in 3 workers has paid sick leave after party. active.com
26 28
to care for their children.
The Friends of the Library’s biggest

It’s that
annual fundraiser—That BIG Book Sale—
Join Mary Harris and Karole Turner Campbell for Florence Crittenton Programs of South time again!
Poetry and Paint at the Open Studio Workshop. Carolina hosts the inaugural Sugar & Spice Soiree Pumpkin
is back! Over the weekend of October 8-10,
get books, DVDs, CDs, books on CDs and Materials provided, 10am-12:30pm, $5. Registration tonight from 6:30pm-9:30pm at Alhambra Hall. spice lattes at
tapes, LPs,VHS, sheet music and maps at ends two days prior to class. The Meeting Place, 1077 Enjoy cocktails, hors d’oeuvres and dancing. Tickets Starbucks.
the Gaillard Auditorium. Admission is free. East Montague Ave., North Charleston. $75/individuals, $125/couple and can be purchased
Friday 9am-7pm, Saturday 9am-5pm, by visiting florencecrittentonsc.org.
Sunday 10am-3pm. charlestonlibraryfriends.org
or ccpl.org “ e a t , d r i n k a n d b e s c a r y .” Anonymous
“If he already knows
what pleases him, and
he can please himself,
then why am I in
the picture?”
Christine O’Donnell
“God created sex.

Priests created marriage.”
Voltaire
shesaid
hesaid
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“Have you tried snorkeling?”
Jami Bonyun
The day
Jeff, and I fly to Hawaii to begin our
stint as kiteboarders, it occurs to us
that knowing how to fly a kite might
before my
be useful.“Oh well,” I say,“I sus-
pect we will both be naturals.”
We spend the entire 10-hour
husband,
flight speculating as to what
awe-inspiring tricks we will have
mastered after six days of lessons.
After landing in Maui, we check into
the hotel and take a quick glance at the beach and pool area. We scoff at the tour-
ists sipping cocktails from coconuts, reading trashy magazines between naps, and
staring at the water from underneath their oversized umbrellas.
“How cliché,” I say, shaking my head. “Imagine how boring their postcards
must be! ‘Today, I avoided any new life experiences and drowned myself in weak
piña coladas. Tomorrow, if I feel up to it, I may dip my toe into the swimming
pool. What an adventurous life I lead!’”
Jeff nods in agreement. “It’s like they’re not even trying to impress their
friends and family.”

Pro Kiters
It’s true that Jeff and I are competitive when it comes to acquiring life
experiences. Lately, it’s become increasingly difficult to top our more ad-
venturous friends. A few years ago, it was scuba diving, elephant training
in Thailand, and psy-trance parties in India. These days, it’s spelunking,
Arctic dog sled expeditions, and illegal base jumping.
We arrive at Kite Beach for our first lesson and gawk at the kiters
effortlessly maneuvering their giant kites while gliding across the
water on their tiny boards, doing back flips and 360s, and jump-
ing 30 feet into the air. Our private instructor, Dylan, skips over
to introduce himself. Sporting a floppy sun hat and a perma-
nent smile, he’s one of those overly cheerful individuals who I find
unnerving since you can never figure out why they’re so damn happy (usually
Jesus or drugs). He is ecstatic to get us fitted with equipment. He offers us
helmets, but we adamantly refuse; helmets are intended for fearful, unath-
letic beginners who will inevitably injure themselves or others. We sign a
series of waivers, and I try to ignore the fact that their world-class kite-
boarding school is operated out of the back of a van.
Suited up in harnesses that attach us to the kite, we spend day one on
land, learning the basics of kite flying. Since Jeff and I are sharing a kite,
we take turns trying to impress Dylan and secure star-pupil status. At one
point, another beginner shreds a thousand-dollar kite on some bushes,
much to the frustration of his instructor. I snap a quick photo to document
his failure.
On day two, we graduate to body-dragging in the water. One at a time,
Dylan sends us into the ocean to fly the kite back and forth while simply
holding onto the board. It sounds easy enough, but the kite has a mind
of its own, and it proves challenging to maintain your grasp on the board
while being violently dragged face-first through the water. After my second
turn, I vomit salt water and immediately update my Facebook status to
explain how hardcore I am.
On day three, I quit twice before noon, but I’m only half-serious. We
practice putting the board on our feet while floating on our backs and
simultaneously flying the kite with one hand. Once our feet are secured
MOOD
into the footstraps, the idea is to dive the kite with enough force to yank
us into a standing position. The sheer elation that comes from standing
is abruptly followed by an unpleasant and disorienting crash as the kite
changes course. I finally see the point of those helmets. By the end of the
lesson, I have perfected the face plant and ridden maybe 20 feet standing
LIGHTING
up on the board. That’s still 10 feet further than Jeff, who pouts inces-
santly and complains to Dylan that I am receiving an unfair amount of
instruction time.
On day four, Dylan quits, claiming that we are “bumming him out”
with our negative attitudes. He accuses us of “not having fun” and sug-
gests we pursue a less demanding activity. “Have you tried snorkeling?”
he asks with a deadpan expression. I struggle to keep my composure after
such a slap in the face. “Does anyone actually have fun climbing Mount
Everest?” I argue. Dylan eventually agrees to continue with the lesson, but
only if we promise to be more laid-back.
I show up on day five flaunting my new mellow attitude, responding
to everything with a shrug and a “whatever, man.” I keep this up until I
lose control of my kite on a bad run and hurtle past the designated safe
area toward the rocks. Under duress, I revert to my true nature, alternat-
ing between crying and yelling profanities as I trail helplessly behind my
stubborn kite. Dylan, the optimist, continues to smile at me from the beach
and initiates a series of nonsensical hand gestures. I consider giving him
the finger. Jeff, on the other hand, recognizes my hysteria and dives into
the ocean to rescue me. Although I appreciate the gesture, my white knight
swims at an agonizingly slow pace. After watching him doggy-paddle in
my general direction for a few interminable seconds, I take matters into charleston’s #1 lighting and
my own hands and pull the emergency cord to cut myself loose. The kite,
freed from its screaming six-foot anchor, crashes onto the rocks. I swim home accent showplace
back to shore and stomp through the crowd of concerned onlookers. One
of them snaps a photo to document my failure.
Although Dylan manages to recover our kite, my near-death experi- charleston summerville
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ence puts a damper on the rest of the lesson. On day six, the wind dies, and 1640 Sam Rittenberg Blvd. 843.285.2884
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doing absolutely nothing. Drunk and happy, I fall asleep and dream about Summerville • 850 Bacons Bridge Rd. • 843.285.2884
our next big trip...tracking chimpanzees in Tanzania. Mon-Fri 10-6 • Sat 10-4
www.charlestonlightingandinteriors.com | 866.959.2887
Jami Bonyun earned an M.S. in Mathematical Finance in preparation for her career
as a humor writer. She lives in Austin, TX, with her husband.
charleston.skirt.com october w2010
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2010 49
Healthy.
Helping Women Stay
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Heidi M. Sapp, M.D. • Lauren F. Hamilton, M.D. • Alison E. Dillon, M.D. • Rebecca G. Baird, M.D.
Denise H. Devine, M.D. • W. Stanley Ottinger, M.D. • Jennifer F. Fisher, M.D.
Oh Dear!
The Holidays are Near.
And Holiday Invitations, Cards and Stationery are Here!
stationery • invitations • paper goods • gifts

Charleston 1027 Physicians Dr., Suite 110 | 843•740•6700
409 Mill Street
James Island 446 Folly Road | 843•266•0595
Mt. Pleasant, SC 29464
843.884.3433 Mt. Pleasant 570 Longpoint Road, Suite 130 | 843•849•2596
thescratchpad@comcast.net
Mon-Sat 10-6 www.charlestonobgyn.com
Proudly serving the Lowcountry since 1975
Something to Smile About...

Cosmetology | Criminal Justice | Esthetics | Medical Assisting | Health Information Technology | Paralegal | Massage | Management\International Trade | Surgical Technology
We are
COMPLIMENTARY
TEETh WhITENINg!
WITh NEW PATIENT ExAM, x-RAYs ANd CLEANINg
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Love Your Body Month
Treat Yourself to a and
Calm, Relaxing, Complete National Breast
Dental Experience Cancer Awareness
Month
Full Service Family at Atrium Day Spa & Salon!
Dental Practice
Celebrate with us and enjoy:
State-of-the-Art $25 off 1 hour student massages
Equipment $18 Mani & Pedi
$5 off Relaxers
$20 Hydrating Facials with
$5 Lip & Eye Treatments
During October, we are promoting the

love and health of the body with seminars
and demonstrations open to the public!
A percentage of the proceeds will benefit the Susan G. Komen Fund.

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Atrium Day Spa & Salon

All services performed by student And licensed professionAls
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Only Professional products used and sold:
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Accredited Member ACICS | Financial aid is Available
Conveniently located in the Farmer’s and Merchant’s Bank of SC at Carnes Crossroads for Those Who Qualify | Job Placement Assistance for miller-motte.edu
(Corner of 17-A & 176) Graduates | Approved for Veterans Training 8085 Rivers Avenue | Charleston, SC 29406
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Find similar styles at Utopia • 27 Broad St. • Charleston • 853.9510
Fall A Tail or Two.
Festival And Noses Too!
JusT in TiMe for Halloween...aniMal THeMeD Mask & Tail seTs
Saturday
November 6, 2010
10am - 2pm
by
Sports Events Food Music

Jump Castles Drinks Vendors Made from soft
alpaca wool.
Games Surprise Guests Toddler Play Hypoallergenic
and eco-friendly.
Bake Sale Crafts Area
Vendors will offer children’s books, handmade jewelry and crafts,
toys, and other exciting gifts that will dress up the coming holidays.
Admission is Free or $20 buys

a kid’s meal and unlimited games.
50 cent tickets for games and food.
Prizes awarded for games!
Where your child loves learning
Open HOuse
~Accepting Applications Now~
A Montessori Education for children ages 4 months to 12 years.
Mt. Pleasant Towne Centre | 1313 Theatre Drive | 843.216.1026
56 Leinbach Drive • Charleston, SC
www.babybloomershome.com | Gift Registry Available
www.CharlesTowneMontessori.org
The Sophia Institute how to select a

2010 Programs • Lectures • Retreats
Please see our website for additional program listings and details. family lawyer
OCT ricK BroWN • Getting the Love You Want: Imago Relationship Therapy You deserve high quality and energetic representation.
16-17 Saturday 8:30am-8pm & Sunday 8:30am-6pm
So, how can you discover where to get this?
NOV aNDrEW HarVEY • Sacred Activism: Passion in Action
12-14 Friday Evening Lecture ~ 6:30pm
NOV Erica ariEl fox • Deeper Wisdom and the Art of Negotiation
15-19 Friday Evening Lecture ~ 6:30pm
October 1-3, 2010

We are grateful for the tremendous support from the following sponsors:
Corporate Sponsors
Bonnie Yon
Visiting Angels Ask your friends and relatives who worked hardest for them.
Sponsors Ask about credentials. See who is respected and taken most
seriously in the legal community. When you do this you will hire
Kyra Morris, Morris Financial Concepts, Inc. Stirling & O’Connell

We want to help you through these difficult transitional
Collaborating Sponsors
Beth Briggs, Creative Philanthropy • Tuti Scott, Imagine Philanthropy
times with hope, support and strong representation.
Center for Women • Stillpoint Center Call us today.
www.TheSophiaInstitute.org
843.577.9890
26 Society St. (Office) | 297 East Bay St. (Studio) | 843.720.8528 | Info@TheSophiaInstitute.org
109 Wappoo Creek Drive, 2-B • Charleston, SC 29412
astirling@stirlingoconnell.com • moconnell246@msn.com Ann M. Stirling
www.stirlingoconnell.com Michael P. O’Connell
An Oasis in the Heart of Historic Charleston
smartgirl
Lions and Tigers and Drama, Oh My!

High school hallways can be the stage
for the world’s most ridiculous theatrical productions.
SmartGirl shows you how to drop
the curtain on drama.
Betsy Cribb
Rumor Mill: too terrified to do or say When Things Get Hairy:

“Rosa told me that Elizabeth anything about it. How to You can’t always do it alone.
said that Aasha said that Suki deal with a Queen Bee? As
High school can be really
said...” long as she’s uncontested,
scary. When violence,
she’ll keep ruling the roost.
That’s how rumors get depression or eating disor-
Confront her and let her
started. This gossipy game ders are involved, it’s not
know you don’t stand for
of telephone can do serious up to you to handle the
her behavior. Stand firm, hold
damage to girls’ reputa- situation anymore. How to
your head up high and show
tions or destroy people’s cope with the big stuff?
the Queen Bee that you’re
friendships. If you hear a Tell a trusted adult.
no easy target.
story that’s too crazy to be You’re not being a tattle-
true, it probably is. Don’t The Go-Between: tale; you’re being a friend.
spread the rumor by sharing Malia and Kim are fighting and
your skewed version of the Elena is stuck in the middle.
story. How to set the story
It’s tough to be the me- “You’re not being a
straight? Go to the source,
get the facts and then keep
diator when two of your tattletale; you’re being
a friend.
friends are on the outs.Your
your lips sealed.
friendships with the girls are
Mean Girls: compromised because you
These witches don’t limit their are trying to remain loyal
mischief-making to Halloween. to both. How to keep the
peace? Sit down with your
You probably know a Regina
feuding friends and make
George: beautiful, popular
them work it out. Explain to
and mean as a snake. She
them how hard it is to be
spreads vicious rumors,
their go-between, and they
betrays her friends or
may be more willing to make
terrorizes girls who are
amends. Sit down, chat it up
and your work is done.
Betsy Cribb is a senior

at Ashley Hall in Charleston, South Carolina.
When she is not working on college applications,
Betsy is designing her sure-to-be-a-hit Halloween costume—
and it will not be cliché “sexy” anything.
Make me smile
Maudell Grayson | Deli Dame

College grub ain’t what it used to be, at least not since Dell came along.
Now, heaping helpings of organic veggies, healthy proteins and other lunch and late-night yummies—at non-heaping prices—
keep students and hungry downtown professionals heading over to the corner of King and Cannon for mega-wraps and Dell’s multivitamin warmth.
“This is my dream. It’s what I do, I cook. I’m all about health; everything here is good for you. I just love it,” says Dell,
who moved to Charleston from Kansas City five years ago and has been waiting for the right time and place to realize her dream of opening Dell’z Deli.
She loves catering to the college crowd. “They’re working hard, and I take care of them,” says Dell, who has four kids—
including two college students—of her own. “People don’t just come here for the food, they come for Dell.
I make people smile.”
Photo by Alice Keeney

suppers to-go ~ casseroles
dinner parties ~ corporate lunches

Holy Cow Yoga Center
family meals ~ beach picnics

Where gourmet is for every day...
a yoga community Don’t want to cook? Don’t want to go out?
Meditation Immersion Let Everyday Gourmet prepare fresh
Weekend - October 2 - 3 homemade meals for you.
deepening your relationship to yourself Chef Services
Available
LouieÕs Kids - Yoga Marathon Pick-up
October 9 at Marion Square or Delivery
108 sun salutes for childhood obesity Available
YOGA CENTER
Evening Kirtan - October 30
coming together in song
10 Windermere Blvd
Yoga Retreat at Yogaville - 843-769-2269
November 5 -7 www.holycowyoga.com
a weekend of yoga and meditation
(843)
1303 Ben Sawyer Blvd. • Mt. Pleasant 388.2490
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Examinations
availablE
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great skin care products and techniques.
Enter to Win a Fre e

Visia Complexion Analysis, Microdermabrasion Treatment,
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Rodney B. Young III, M.D.

Board Certified Plastic Surgeon
AMERICAN SOCIETY
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Complimentary Refresher Facials or
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2093 Henry Tecklenburg Drive
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Arrivals!
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Make me smile
Lillian Smalls | Oncology Aesthetician

“I call it skin therapy. It’s beyond fluff and buff; it’s about a connection between what’s inside and outside,”
says Lillian, who directs the aesthetics program at Miller-Motte Technical College and is a certified oncology aesthetics educator and practitioner.
Her interest in oncology-related care evolved after realizing that many clients were cancer patients or survivors who had unique skin care needs.
“I had to relearn what products to use, and what not to use,” says Lillian, a working mom who left a marketing and advertising career for the flexibility of
cosmetology. She’s also studied Reiki and massage to better understand the mind/body/spirit health connection.
“For an hour I’m invited into their life; I offer an escape from thinking about illness or pain.
It’s satisfying to help someone who’s lost eyebrows or eyelashes put them on without looking awkward,” she says.
“When a woman feels good about herself, it gives a different outlook on everything.”
Make me smile
Lisa Perrett | Retro-Candy Queen

Lisa was a children’s book illustrator and graphic designer by day and a retail wannabe by night, or at least in her dreams.
“My pipe dream was to have a store on King Street,” says Lisa, whose wish came true this past July when she and husband David opened Robot Candy
Company. The inspiration for their funky, fun throwback to all things bad-for-your-teeth and good-for-your-soul came from a year hiatus in New York
City, when Lisa would take her two young daughters downtown to explore “kooky little shops.” Back in Charleston she thought, “why not a mix of crazy
candy and toys, unusual, fun stuff you can’t find elsewhere? I’m a sucker for things I haven’t seen since I was a little kid.” The clean, white interior
is a futuristic foil for 1920s cartoons, wind-up toys and sugary nostalgia, with some mod Japanese toys thrown in.
“I love that different generations can come introduce things to each other.”

She is “The Carolina Girl.”
C
Camille Keil is Director of Operations
of one of the fastest growing and
unique venues in Charleston. Her job
Charleston’s Premier
title says it all. She is in charge of
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Make me smile
Mackie Moore | Rein and Shine Director

When Mackie took the reins at this therapeutic riding facility last year, she brought event-planning experience,
a dedication to social justice causes and lifelong love of horses, but she’d never run a nonprofit before. “I’d gathered all the tools in my toolbox.
I wanted the challenge,” says this Charleston native, Georgetown University grad and former regional theater actor/director. But she wasn’t totally
prepared for the emotional impact of watching kids respond so dramatically, or hearing a 5-year-old speak for the first time. “I spent the first three days
running back to the office, hiding tears.” Mackie has helped the premier-accredited facility expand, from serving 20 children with various disabilities
last year, to 94 kids and a waiting list. “It’s truly amazing to take part in creating this,” Mackie says. “We want to serve as many as possible,
and not turn kids away. We’re trying to increase scholarships, which creates smiles, too.”
the
LADY
“Mom?...Maybe it would be easier if we, you know…
had fewer pets.”
Bree Barton
T
here’s a difference between “cat person” and
“cat lady.” Cat people are simply cat lovers.
They prefer felines to canines and are the
proud owners of a well-groomed Persian or
two. Cat ladies are wild-eyed women teeter-
ing on the edge of sanity with kinky hair
and streams of kittens flowing out of their
cupboards.
My mother is one of those.
It started in moderation, back when
there was only Looney Tunes. Looney was
my mother’s faithful Himalayan that, by the
time I was born, was a crotchety old biddy with hair that came out in large
clumps. Before I learned to walk, the carpet in our one-bedroom apartment
was covered in soft, grey fur balls—irresistible after a supper of Gerber mashed
peas. If cat hair is indeed indigestible, my stomach is probably so well-lined with
downy fur that you could gut me and make a nice winter coat.
Looney never liked me much, so I amused myself eating fur until the day a
stray tabby appeared on our doorstep.
“Look, Mom! She’s got a tail!”
Even as a four-year-old, my powers of perception were exceptionally sharp.
“Yes, Bree, she does.”
“Let’s call her Tail-er!”
Hence, Taylor was christened as the newest addition to the family.

The Cat Lady
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It wasn’t long before the other neighborhood strays got the same
idea, and our front porch became a kind of revolving door for the ACCEPTING
bruised and beaten. We were living in a rough part of Dallas when gang NEW PATIENTS.
warfare was at its height. When Bloods and Crips weren’t shooting PLEASE CALL
FOR YOUR
each other in the alley behind our house, they were clearly beating the CONSULTATION
shit out of their pets. APPOINTMENT
Limping calicos, tailless kittens, alley cats with mange—all staggered up TODAY.
to 222 N. Rosemont for some solidarity and Meow Mix. My mother was a
generous spirit, but she drew the line at communicable diseases. The truly
sickly specimens were ushered on with a gentle prod, only to be replaced by
the next band of battered pussies from the ’hood.
Over the next few years, we moved in and out of the ghetto until we
finally landed in an upscale part of town, where we were promptly brand-
Dr. Vicki tatum
92 Courtenay Drive • Charleston
ed with a scarlet “R”—Renters. Despite our stigmatized social status, we (843) 57-SMILE • (843) 577-6453
couldn’t help but notice that the quality of strays had improved. Three-
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legged tomcats had been replaced by Turkish Angoras with entitlement
issues. My mother still fed them, unable to ever deny help to an animal in GENERAL DENTAL CARE
need. And slowly, subtly, they began to inch their way beyond the front
porch and into our living room.
That’s about the time I noticed something strange. The number of cats
we owned at any given time was inversely related to my mother’s serotonin
levels. Only two cats? She was relatively happy. Three or four cats crowded
into the kitchen for a Friskies feast? Bad news, Dr. Phil.
It was undeniable. The day I found my mother hunched in a ball by
the clothes dryer, unable to get up, we were offering asylum to at least five
strays. When Taylor’s first litter of kittens came, she cried for days. The
morning she rang her fiancé to call off their engagement, I noticed four
unfamiliar furry faces peeking out from behind a pillow.
I struggled with basic cause and effect. Was it the cats causing the
depression, or the depression causing the cats?
“Mom?” I ventured, while scrubbing vomit stains out of the rug. “May-
be it would be easier if we, you know…had fewer pets.”
“What?”
“Maybe it’s better to just have two cats. Like we used to.”
“Less stressful?” She stared at me like I’d just proposed we lop off her
left breast and donate it to UNICEF. “My cats make me happy,” she said,
smacking her thighs with her palms.
W
WORTH
My mother has a habit of doing this—slapping her hands down on her
thighs to emphasize a point. It’s one of those tics that start to wear on you
®
when you’ve known someone an entire lifetime, like when they chew too
loudly. Which, incidentally, she also does.
For your personal showing
“Okay,” I said, throwing my hands up in surrender. “We’ll keep please contact:
the cats.”
I was beginning to understand that, in many ways, my mother preferred
Kellie Thomas
kthomas@worthcollection.com
cats to people. They were less complicated, more unconditionally loving, (843) 224-3402
and in spite of the nuisance of cleaning the litter box, it was a whole lot
or
easier dealing with their shit. Holly Carpenter
Not long after our conversation, she had the living room chair reuphol- hcarpenter@worthcollection.com
stered in cats. Not real cats—she wasn’t skinning the neighbor’s pets during (843) 303-5959
manic episodes. Instead she pored over fabric samples and finally chose a
pattern with dozens of life-sized American shorthairs. Now, when we had
company, they were forced to sip their Franzia while balancing uneasily on
50 pairs of embroidered yellow eyes.
“I just love your…decorating,” guests would say.
“Thank you!” my mother would beam. “I still have a swatch of the
fabric if you’re interested.”
“Oh! Well…”The guest would grope desperately for an excuse. “Bill
would never let me reupholster the couch. Not in this economy! If only I TRUNK SHOW
could. I do so admire your…creativity.” OCTOBER 13-21
My mother got a lot of compliments on her creativity. Most of them SpECial OffER
came when she wore her Wicked Witch of the West leggings, which had Call by Oct. 10th to schedule
horizontal black and chartreuse stripes like a prison uniform that acciden- your appointment and receive
tally wound up with a green sock in the wash. I have a Halloween picture of $50 off your purchase!
the two of us, my mother in those leggings and a witch costume. She’s hold-
ing Looney Tunes, who is wearing a miniature witch hat, and I’m standing
in front of her with black-eyeliner whiskers painted on my face. Looney is
dressed like my mom, and I’m dressed like Looney. I think, if I had to pin-
point the first time I had a sneaking suspicion that my mother wished she’d
actually given birth to a kitten, that would be the moment. worthny.com
A native Texan, Bree Barton now lives in Los Angeles where she collects bookshelves, The Worth Collection, Ltd. | 37 W. 57th Street
New York, NY 10019 | 800.967.8465
exotic cheeses, and parking tickets. Her work has been published in The Huffington Worth® is Registered in the U.S. Patent
and Trademark offce.
Post Complete Guide to Blogging, McSweeney’s, USA Today, Los Angeles Times, and
Chronogram. She owns no cats.
octoberw 63
2010 63
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Click
This issue For instant enlightenment, choose a mantra and then slide the
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Luisa Maíta Beautiful You
Jasmine Rosie Molinary
Keith Jarrett/
Charlie Haden
On Day 1 of Rosie’s daily
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Dream Attic “what I wrote, I did.” The fol- can buy the book or download the app that will condense and
Richard Thompson lowing 364 entries offer ideas summarize these Big Ideas in a way that will make you want to
and guide you through getting learn more. philosophersnotes.com
“better in touch with your
own brilliance.” Beyond body
acceptance, this book is full of
affirmations and inspiration.
Margaret Pilarski, Editor
Watch
Let’s Get Lost, the mesmerizing documentary by Bruce Weber
on jazz giant Chet Baker, is available on YouTube in 12 short
segments. Get lost in the music and the life when you’re stuck
in line or a waiting room. Google “Let’s Get Lost documentary”
at youtube.com.
Download
Trouble sleeping? With White Noise, you click on a sound—
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Life, Love & Laughter
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Dean Martin Octoberplaylist
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Fifth Avenue, 5 A.M.:

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Sam Wasson
This book about the making

of Breakfast at Tiffany’s is
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itself, and the cast of real-life
characters just as fascinating
as the fictional ones.
Nikki Hardin, Publisher
raise
the barn at the An-
nual Rein & Shine Barn
Raiser fundraiser—
Brett McKee will be
catering and there will u In preparation for u A state-run newspaper
be music by Awendaw Pope Benedict’s visit to in Iran called Carla Bruni,
Green. Saturday, Britain in September, the French first lady, a
October 16 from the Catholic Women’s “prostitute” after she
4-8pm. Get info at Ordination had 15 London penned an open letter
reinandshine.org. buses bearing a message of support to an Iranian
to the Pope. The buses woman who is facing
said “Pope Benedict – the death penalty
support
Ordain Women Now!” for adultery.
Operation Home
at the Drum It Up v In a recent interview, v A private religious
Fundraiser at Red Beyoncé Knowles said, “I school in Texas has
Drum Restaurant on think I am a feminist in a denied admission to the
Sunday, October 24th way—it is not something daughter of a lesbian
from 6-10pm. Opera- I consciously decided I couple, citing its “clear
tion Home has served was going to be; perhaps teaching of the Christian
hundreds of disabled it’s because I grew up in a faith.” The two mothers
seniors, children singing group with other said the school appeared
and their families by women, and that was to have no problem with
preventing homeless- so helpful to me…I love admitting their daughter
ness by making critical being a woman and until they attended a
home repairs, installing I love being a friend recent parents’ night at
wheelchair ramps and to other women.” the school.
providing seasonal heat
and cold relief. w According to a w The Gay, Lesbian
operationhome.org Gallup poll, “Americans’ and Straight Education
support for the moral Network says that
follow acceptability of gay and “nearly 9 out of 10 LGBT

lesbian relations crossed students experience
the work of The Black
the symbolic 50 percent harassment each year,”
Girl Project. What
threshold in 2010.” but Focus on the Family,
started originally as
an evangelical rightwing
a documentary, The
interest group, is calling
Black Girl Project,
anti-bullying efforts by
the organization has
LGBT organizations part
become a collection of
of a “gay agenda.” “The
programs and initia-
viewpoint of Christian
tives to benefit young
students and parents are
women and girls.
increasingly belittled,”
said a spokeswoman.

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Multi-bit
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drivers.”
We recently “Feminists don’t sleep.
discovered Tomboy
Tools, a direct-
The patriarchy could attack
selling organiza- at any time.”
tion that sells
ergonomic tools
for women, as well The feminist blogosphere is
as hosts parties
at your own home, getting chatty about a term
complete with DIY
lessons. Learn being embraced as of late:
about tiling, paint-
ing, drywall, crown
molding, basic
kyriarchy. Though it’s rooted
plumbing and using
power tools—all
in academia, some are find-
while supporting
local women entre- ing it a useful term, since
preneurs, Habitat
for Humanity, the “kyriarchy” is Greek for
Girl Scouts, and
the Avon Walk for “rule of the master,” while
Breast Cancer.
tomboytools.com “patriarchy” means “rule of
the father” and is sex-specific
Put on in its literal sense.
your Proponents say that
drinking
shoes. kyriarachy is more
“I never send appropriate when discussing
forwards, but...
you’ve gotta multiple power structures
see this.” between people of different
One of our photogra- races, genders, abilities, and
phers sent us an email
with the subject line sexualities. What do you
“Survival Tip of the Year.” think? Is using a new word
First we thought it’s prob-
ably a video of cats playing akin to dropping “feminism”
with a ball of yarn and it in favor of “humanism”?
says smile! at the end of
it...But when we finally Is all this talk just
got around to opening distracting us from the real
it, there was a link with
the description “Or, how work of feminism?
to open a bottle of wine
with a shoe.” See the
real survival skill at
wimp.com/wineshoe.
E s c a da Anne Klein B u r b e r ry Miu Miu Citizens of Humanity BCBg BEtsEy joHnson C A lv i n K l E i n
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the journey
Normal is a dirty little word.
Jen Rognerud
A boy
and the background noises fade, the peripheral
colors swirl. He has a chessboard tucked under his
arm and wears bright red sneakers; has paint stains
walks into
on his jeans and really bad BO.
Trouble, clearly, but you don’t
care. You’re a writing student,
a bar,
and so, it’s much more desirable
to find someone artsy and smelly than to seek out
something meaningful and normal.
Normal is a dirty little word.
It’s not Aaron’s chessboard that gets you, or the fact that he buys you a beer
with three neatly packed rolls of pennies. The hook is the walk through the city
after hours, the crazy full moon, and how pleasantly surprised you are when this
shiny new boy says, “Meow.”
Don’t get too excited. It will never be as good as it is tonight. You will spend
long, nauseous days wishing for a call. You will laugh nervously when he hits on
your roommate, who at the time is wearing a mud mask and a stained Bel Biv
Devoe shirt.
Weeks will go by without contact, and then he will suddenly appear at your
door with a mix tape and a term paper that he needs you to proofread.
You let your frustration be his artistic inspiration. You let him take a Polaroid
of you topless. You become intoxicated by his scent (ineffective Tom’s of Maine
deodorant mixed with hipster pheromones). And you become what you’ve always
made fun of: a stupid girl.
When it ends without really ending—you taking his bus hopefully, but hiding
when you see him at the Mini Mart—you journal yourself into a self-awareness
headache and hate yourself for turning to pajamas and ice cream. Such a cliché.
You need a break from Boston, so you run home to Mommy in California. You
get a tan. You hang out at the Santa Monica Color Me Mine. The staff tells you
that you’re really good at dots. Soon, you’re known as “Dot Girl.”

Dating for Dummies
Aruna Reddy, M.D.
At night, you eat Mexican food and watch Frasier with your mom. You get
on her computer to check out this thing called the World Wide Web. Everyone’s
talking about it. Maybe it’s time to get on board.
You end up in a chat room. You talk to a few guys—a young accountant
who loves Britney Spears, an “unhappily married” newlywed who’s eager to
talk dirty and an IHOP waiter from Branson, Missouri, who also happens to be
in L.A. visiting his folks.
You’d like to meet this guy from the country music capital of the world, but
unfortunately, you’ve told him that you look like Tiffani-Amber Thiessen. The
one picture you scanned and sent was taken by a skilled photography student has joined
who shot you from the top rung of a tall ladder. The flattering shot from above
(which will eventually become ubiquitous on something called Facebook), has RobeRt t. Wall, M.d.
given him a mighty tall glass of false hope.
foR the pRactice of
Back in Boston, you go balls out and decide to try actual internet dating.
The first guy you meet is Perry, who invites you to his place for a drink. A oncology and heMatology.
few years from now this will all seem really shady, but for now there are no
Dateline specials on internet predators. This isn’t even considered pathetic. Not heR special inteRest is
bReast canceR.
quite; not yet.
Perry has a large piece of antique film equipment in his living room. He
calls it “a really sexy machine.” Brother. Good thing you brought Yahtzee. You she is boaRd ceRtified.
have decided that you will bring Yahtzee on your dates with strangers, to shake
things up if there’s a lull in conversation.
Next is Jordan, who you eagerly meet at a North End bakery for cappuc-
Please call for an appointment
cino and biscotti. His long bangs are pushed back with what is clearly a girl’s
headband, and he talks slowly and endlessly about Chinese astrology. Even
though you’re drinking espresso, you fall asleep. He nudges you awake and
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says, “So Jen, what inspires you?” Enough said.
You communicate with Sean by phone for about a month before you meet.
He’s funny and natural and you feel optimistic. You even leave Yahtzee at home for
Charleston Blood Disorders and Cancer Center
the first date. Things are just as easy in person as they were on the phone, but you Practicing at East Cooper Medical Center,
spend the majority of the night trying to figure out if you’re attracted to him. Trident Medical Center and Roper St. Francis Hospitals.
You notice that his glasses are crooked—broken, actually. Maybe it’s the
dim neon lighting of the dive bar, but you could swear that they’re also mauve.
He confesses that he’s wearing his mom’s. And they’re taped.
Relax,
Jen, I know that you’re lonely, but do not kiss the guy who shows up to
meet you with his mom’s glasses—taped. Okay? Have another Guinness. That’s
probably wise.
Rejuvenate,
Three beers later and you’re making out in the corner booth. You’ve man-
aged to convince yourself that you like him and you keep up this act for three
more dates. He shows up in the lady glasses every time and inevitably, the two
of you play a lot of Yahtzee.
Refresh
You return to the chat rooms and strike up a friendship with Stephen King.
Not that Stephen King, Stephen King the software developer from the U.K. He
calls you Tiggy and sends pink roses on your birthday.
While planning a business trip to Florida, Stephen asks you if he should
“pop up to Boston for a week to give it a go.” You must admit it’s a pretty
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picture—knocking around Manchester with this bloke, eating fish and chips
and adopting a sloppy accent. You know, like Madonna, or Gwyneth.
You meet him at the airport and escort him back to his hotel. Stupid, stu-
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Stephen leaves the U.S. with one friendly kiss and a heartbroken slouch.
Before he goes, he buys you a Nintendo. You shouldn’t take it. It will make you
feel guilty for years. But you really love video games…
After you’ve played Mario Kart for about five hours, you call Aaron’s work.
Naturally, he works at an arcade. You make plans for later that night.
In his slanted bedroom with the bright yellow walls, you wear clown wigs,
roll pennies and meow along to songs. The moon is full, of course, and you’ve
never seen it so close. Aaron turns off the lights and you stand at the window,
tucked safely into his toxic armpit. He starts talking about science and phenom-
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The
Race
is
On
The 2010 elections are coming up, and we have a
number of women running for office in South Carolina.
Below is a list compiled by the Southeastern Institute of
Women in Politics of female candidates from across the
state and the offices for which they are running. See the
candidates’ profiles at scelectswomen.com/candidates,
and don’t forget to vote!

U.S. House of Representatives Mary Bernsdorff (D) for District 45 Jenny Horne (R) for District 94
Jane Dyer (D) for District 3 Lancaster Co. Dorchester Co.
Faye Walters (G) for District 4 Deborah Long (R) for District 45 Patsy Knight (D) for District 97
Lancaster Co. Dorchester Co.
Holly Cooper (D) for District 46 Christine Jackson (D) for District 98
Statewide
York Co. Dorchester Co.
Nikki Haley (R) for Governor
Laurie Slade Funderburk (D) for District 52 Barbara W. Mishoe (R) for District 101
Marjorie Johnson (D) for Secretary of State Kershaw Co. Williamsburg Co.
Doretha Bull (G) for State Superintendent Elizabeth R. Munnerlyn (D) for District 54 Vida Miller (D) for District 108
of Education Marlboro Co. Georgetown Co.
Leslie Minerd (G) for Attorney General Denny W. Neilson (D) for District 56 Anne Peterson-Hutto (D) for District 115
Darlington Co. Charleston Co.
S.C. House of Representatives Sheila Gallagher (D) for District 63 Shannon Erickson (R) for District 124
Florence Co. Beaufort Co.
Anne Thayer (R) for District 9
Anderson Co. Cathy Harvin (D) for District 64
Clarendon Co. County/Municipal
Anne Parks (D) for District 12
Greenwood Co. Gilda Cobb-Hunter (D) for District 66 Amy Fabri (D, WF),
Orangeburg Co. Charleston County Council
Wendy Nanney (R) for District 22
Greenville Co. Jan Steensen Crangle (D) for District 69 Amy McCulloch (D),
Lexington Co. Richland County Probate Judge
Chandra Dillard (D) for District 23
Greenville Co. Joan Brady (R) for District 78 Carolyn Rogers (R),
Richland Co. York County Probate Judge
Judy Gilstrap (D) for District 26
Pickens Co. Paige Blair George (D) for District 78
Richland Co.
Ines Alvarez (D) for District 28
Greenville Co. Mia Butler (D) for District 79
Richland Co.
Honorable Rita Allison (R) for District 36
Spartanburg Co. Sheri Few (R) for District 79
Richland Co.
Delores Frazer (D) for District 37
Spartanburg Co. Beverly Diane Frierson (D) for District 79
Richland Co.

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The confounding secret known to waitpersons everywhere
is that while a small portion of the population actually comes to a restaurant
intending to enjoy a meal, the rest arrive armed with an
arsenal of unresolved stuff that should have been
brought up in therapy.
Stacy Appel
A
t this very moment, a blonde toddler in
a day care center somewhere in America
cries inconsolably because Billy blacked
out the eye of her new Barbie doll with a
Magic Marker and Sasha got apple juice
at snack time while she got pineapple
instead. In a sun-drenched backyard, a
four-year-old in a lopsided baseball cap
is having a meltdown because the tip of
his squirt gun just broke and his mother
couldn’t find his Batman t-shirt in the
clean laundry this morning. And in a
bustling city, at a linen-covered table in a pleasantly crowded bistro in the nicer
section of town, a businessman revs himself into a full-blown tantrum because
the patrons next to him got their Caesars and breadsticks before he did.
Dining out, like flying, has a mysterious effect on previously civilized
Homo sapiens. Earlier in the day, they were reviewing important policy
memos with colleagues or mesmerizing audiences in an auditorium or
changing their oil and paying their phone bills like reasonable adults. But
mere moments after exchanging pleasantries with the maitre d’, the same
people can be observed wailing, red-faced, because the much-anticipated
Chilean sea bass arrived with a side of potato gratin instead of mashed.

Eat, Pay, Leave
The confounding secret known to waitpersons everywhere is that while

a small portion of the population actually comes to a restaurant intending
to enjoy a meal, the rest arrive armed with an arsenal of unresolved stuff
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that should have been brought up in therapy. They wish to be coddled, in-
structed and left alone, all at the same time. They want to fight, be noticed
and be invisible. They long to impress and humiliate. They want to eat
dessert without actually eating dessert. They would love to get drunk, get
famous, or at the very least, have the chef write off their check because the
medium-rare steak had a few peppercorns on top.
I’m amazed when I remember my parents instructing me as a teenager
not to overtip.
“It’s a sign of poor breeding,” said my mother. “Waiters look down on
you. Overtipping is offensive—they resent it.”
By age 21, when I’d waited tables on and off for five years, I knew I’d
never heard such a preposterous lie in all my life. There is no such thing as
too large a tip unless someone plans to leave you the entire family inheri-
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tance after he eats.
A waitress or waiter must be so much more than a server. She must
hear the lonely confession of the guy who was just stood up by his
date at table nine and grant him absolution. She must play umpire to
the two children throwing drinking straws, napkins and wood-backed
menus at one another while their parents sip martinis. No matter how
busy the dining room, she must find time to act as a marriage counselor
to the silent couple in the corner who glare at each other over bowls
of French onion soup, and referee the three guys wrestling one another
for the onion rings without getting her arm broken. She must hasten
with bar towels and soda water to soothe the hysterical matron whose
blouse is now covered with Burgundy “accidentally” spilled on her by
her daughter-in-law. A competent waitperson must produce Band-Aids,
Tylenol, crayons, Prozac, ice chips and extra Béarnaise sauce on a mo-
ment’s notice. She must call upon the saints to help her conjure up a
graceful smile as the leering bachelor party who filled her section all
night leaves her 10 bucks on a $200 dinner tab.
As pleasant as it might be to get divorced and fly off to Italy, India, and
Bali, á la Elizabeth Gilbert, one needn’t invest all that time and expense in
the name of spiritual development, especially if one doesn’t have a book
contract in hand. For every devotee sitting cross-legged on a mat in a
Buddhist ashram or hiking up a Tibetan mountainside, her counterpart in
America is right now balancing four hot entrees on a tray and wondering
how to break it to table 12 that another diner just got the last order of
mahi-mahi. Waiting tables offers an accelerated spiritual path for those
courageous enough to embark upon it, besides which there are almost
always free leftovers after your shift.
As a waitress, you will discover within yourself reserves of patience,
restraint, and kindness, when the loudmouth CEO sends his pasta back
twice, just for fun, and you refrain from stabbing him with a fork.
You will examine aspects of your own nature against the intriguing
backdrop of a culture of greedy gluttons who can’t believe you actu-
ally expect them to choose between a salad and two sides with their
filet mignons and baked potato. You will marvel at the complexity and
diversity of human nature before you, including those persons who
believe “quiche” is pronounced “quickie” and others who would like a
doggie bag in which to stow the remains of their hot fudge sundae, the
leftover butter, as well as all the unused packets of Sweet ‘n Low. Res-
taurant employment will teach you the art of balance between worldly
enjoyment and divine transcendence, once you realize that the dash-
ingly handsome man who cornered you near the cash register was only
flirting with you to make his girlfriend furious. Your faith in God will
be restored when the cranky old lady at table two, who threatened to
complain about you to the manager, mistakenly leaves you a 30 percent
tip because she couldn’t find her reading glasses.
When you come to the end of your path waiting tables, or to the
end of your wits, or both, you will have gained an inner wealth that can
never be taken away—which is a marvelous thing since the paycheck
just really will not cut it. And you, unlike so many others, will have
inside your heart the secret key to being welcomed no matter where
you find yourself in the world, a truth at once simple and profound:
Eat. Pay. Leave.
Stacy Appel is an award-winning writer in California whose work has been

featured in the Chicago Tribune and other publications. She has also written for
National Public Radio. She is a contributor to the book You Know You’re a Writer
When… Contact Stacy at WordWork101@aol.com.
charleston.skirt.com 2010 81
octoberw2010 81
?
[ T h e F - Wo r d | F e m i n i s t s S p e a k O u t ]
Have
We Forgotten
the Ladies?
Jennet Robinson Alterman
Women must “Remember the ladies…If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined
work more to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or
than 16 months representation.”
to earn what Abigail Adams, in a letter to husband John Adams, Second President of the United States
men make in
12 months— I don’t know about you, but I think we could use some ‘fomenting’ right about now in our country.
�
I know that the economy and wars and natural disasters are hugely important; however, I’m not
feeling the love for the whole issue of women’s equality these days. I applaud the regular attention
being given to women in countries like Afghanistan and the Congo, but am saddened that here in the
United States, we seem to have backed off of the fight for treating women equally.
What happened to the Equal Rights Amendment? Why has the Paycheck Fairness Act not passed
the in the Senate? Lawmakers in the House said it would strengthen the Equal Pay Act of 1963 and
same job. also allow women to receive the same benefits for sex-based pay discrimination that are currently
They earn available to those discriminated against based on race and national origin. Women now make up half
77 cents the American workforce, but they still haven’t managed to achieve pay equity. Women must work
for every more than 16 months to earn what men make in 12 months—for the same job. They earn 77 cents for
dollar earned every dollar earned by their male counterparts. According to the AAUW, over a working lifetime, the
by their male disparity between men’s and women’s wages costs the average woman and her family $700,000 to $2
counterparts. million in lost pay.
Paycheck discrimination hurts families who lose out on badly needed income. With so many women now supporting their families, unequal
pay leads to unequal wealth in ways that affect the entire family. There is less money to pay bills, less income to qualify for a mortgage, less money
available to send children to college. The effects ripple through our culture.
What about having a voice and representation? Only 17 percent of the US Congress is female, compared to 42 percent in Nordic countries, or in
Rwanda where more than 50 percent of the national parliament is female! Worldwide, the US is ranked 90th in women elected to national bodies…
tying us with Turkmenistan. (Fun fact: in my home state of South Carolina, we are ranked 50th in the nation in terms of the number of women elected
to our state legislature.)
Here’s the real kick in all of this—according to a 2007 Catalyst study of women on boards and commissions—women held
15 percent of corporate officer positions. The study also stated that Fortune 500 companies with the highest representation of women board
directors attained significantly higher financial performance than those with the lowest representation of women board directors. It’s the
economy, stupid.
Recent research shows that stronger than average results prevail at
Photo by Jack Alterman
companies where at least three women serve on the board of directors.

According to a report published by the National Association of
Corporate Directors, when at least three women serve on a board or
commission, “People talk differently when there are more women. It is
much more conversational and less hierarchical, and as a result, all of
the directors get better information. Having three women is ‘like three
legs on a stool.’ Strong. It is clear you are not there because of gender
but because of your talent.”
So let’s get out there and foment—for better pay, more representation,
and most importantly, a voice. We can do it for Abigail.
Jennet Robinson Alterman has been the Executive Director of the Center for Women in Charleston, SC, since 2001.
Ms. Alterman has worked in television broadcasting, state and federal government and the non-profit sector. She has an extensive background in international
women’s issues, having served as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Afghanistan and subsequently on Peace Corps Senior Staff.
She is married to noted photographer Jack Alterman, and lives in her hometown of Charleston.

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planetnikki
[ a visual journal ]
I chew on my My friends know

fingers in times of I’m a little nutty
stress, so they’re when it comes
always bandaged. to piñatas, and
These Cynthia Confetti System
Rowley Band-Aid makes the ne plus
strips say, “I’m a ultra of piñatas.
wounded worrier, I envision them
but I’m bearing up filled with chic
in style.” little surprises (for
me, of course), or
maybe just hanging
in my house.
Just add water.

After a weekend immersion in art,
I’ve been baptized in watercolors, catechized in
negative space and gestural drawing. The hardest work
I’ve ever done, making my brain grind with effort. I will never
be great at any of it. I will never get the hang of perspective,
just like I never understood geometry. When I draw my foot,
it sometimes looks like a hoof. I’m embarrassed to sketch in
public because on the art evolutionary scale, I’m barely out
of Stick Figure Era. But I don’t care because it makes me so
happy. Alizarin Crimson, Viridian Green and Winsor Blue...
gasp! Teaching myself to color outside the lines...radical.
The flow of black ink across thick paper...
zen in a pen.
A dream studio
in Art Making &
I just took an
Studio Spaces by
online course
Lynne Perrella.
on taking photos
I have serious
with my iPhone
bookshelf envy.
at The Poetic Eye
(gryphonsfeather.
typepad.com), and
I’ve been printing
them out to hang
on the wall in
a little rotating
“gallery.”
Nikki Hardin is the founder and publisher of skirt! magazine. She blogs at fridaville.com.
We may have the
Cure
for Aching and
unsightly Legs!
Let the Vascular Surgeons

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Medical Spa help you look
and feel better. Our physicians
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y A Board Certified
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ar ci
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Edward Morrison, M.d. ThoMas applEby, M.d.

Skirt! Magazine October 2010

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Skirt! Magazine October 2010

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october

it up with your dog? If you’ve forgotten

Your Laugh Lines,

a little Gaga is a good thing—choose

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to celebrate instead of an orgy of regret.

Create an alter-ego name to use at Starbucks.

Practice being amazed instead of glazed

over. Text “I love your laugh” to a friend.

Collaborate—it’s another way to play.

Experiment, even if it blows up in your face.

Smile, it’s a renewable resource.

“Forget love—I’d rather fall in chocolate!”

When it comes to your mortgage,

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