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NICHOLS- ROY BIBLE COLLEGE

HOW PARENTS, FAMILY, FRIENDS & CHURCH INFLUENCED ME TO SEE


AND HOW I DECIDE WHO I AM NOW

Submitted to

Mrs. Lalnuntluangi Laloo

In Partial Fulfillment of the Course

Christian Personal Formation B-33

Due Date: 12 December Date Submitted: 9th December

Expected Word count/Page Number: 2000-2500 Actual Word count/Page Number: 2,463

I declare that this assignment is my own aided work. Every idea or phrase that is my own.

Signature: _____________________________

By

Rilang Suting
CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

1. PARENTS

1.1. Positive Influence

1.2. Negative influence

2. FAMILY

2.1. Positive Influence

2.2. Negative Influence

3. FRIENDS

3.1. Positive Influence

3.2. Negative influence

4. CHURCH

4.1. Positive Influenced

4.2. Negative influenced

5. TODAY AS I AM DECIDING WHO I AM

CONCLUSION

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INTRODUCTION

Who we are becoming is not completely firm yet. We never finish growing and changing for
better or for worse, as long as we live. Whether we improve ourselves or backslide, our
spiritual, mental and physical levels are always in a state of change. It is because every
human surrounded by society where parents, family and friends are there in the first step of
their lives. Latter on they being introduce with religious practices (for us Christian we
consider church.) All this four aspects certainly in different way and in any how they
influenced us which shape our future to see and decide who we think we are now. Even if we
don’t realize it, the people we are closest to and spend the most time with make a difference
to our own mood and state of mind. Here, looking at my life in the past, this paper will
explain how my parents, family, friends and church influenced me to see and decide who I
think I am now.

1. PARENTS

There are many ways parents influenced their children. I would say that these tend to fall
into two categories. One is, in large part, we as children are shaped by what we see our
parents do and how we see them act. I know that I have tried to model myself after my
parents in many ways because I think they have done many things right. On the other hand,
there are things that I think they have done wrong and I consciously try to avoid doing those
things. But either way, the way I live my life has been influenced by them.

This is for this reason without any doubt I would say, the people who influenced me most I
think are my parents in early years. They gave me a solid foundation and a great start to life.
As in the former I have noted that, in two categories parents have influenced me, so here also
I will divide their influenced on my life both positive and negative.

1.1. Positive Influence

When it comes to the point of character they taught me how to be truthful and good to
others and always think in positive way. The deep conviction with this thought has led me to
be like a person I am today, a person of ethics and who is always ready to help the needy one
and I am still growing with same thought. Although they are farmer in nature but they
always gave me their best guidance with each possible facilities which they can benefit to
their limits and their life long experiences. They encouraged me always to be a good

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person to the society. This is also a reason why I wish to be a good minister of God and
preparing for ministry services.

In the part of education, though my parents are non-literary person yet they have tried their
best to send me to school and college and even they force me to go for education. Now, I am
so thirsty for education that at point of time my parents don’t want me to study now. This is
their influenced that make me to thirst and hunger for education. I have been given a
very free environment so that I can decide myself what is right or wrong.
Whenever I failed or was wrong, they scolded me too. Believe me this is very necessary at
some time to make me realize when I am wrong.

When it comes to the matter of life carrier, it is wise to say for me that my parents have
influenced me to choose the right way or right carrier. They never told me to be a pastor or do
the ministry works but their encouragement for me to be a good person and doing good work
and their love and support help me to choose the best carrier, to have the aim for doing the
ministry work of God, which led me to come here for my training and education.

1.2. Negative influence

Parents have also negative influenced on my life. In the matters of attitude I will say, my
Mom have influenced me so much rather than my father. My mom is very angry person who
become anger very easily. I am struggling with this bad attitude in my life and that is anger. I
used to get angry easily. Whenever, my mom get angry on me I used to reply her with angry
mode and with angry voice only. It is because, since childhood I have seen her to get angry
which though I don’t wish to be yet knowingly-unknowingly I used to get angry very easily.

Though I have mentioned above that my parents influenced me to choose the right carrier in
my life yet I will say that there are something that they have influenced me negatively
regarding carrier. I have said already that they don’t want me to join in the ministry of God.
So, they want me to work and earn money a lot in life instead of trying to do the work of
God. It is because; there is no money in the ministry of God. However, such kind of words
sometimes put me in troubling to stop studying theology and do the other secular work where
I can earn a lot of money for the betterment of my life.

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2. FAMILY

Throughout our lives we are influenced and taught by many. It can have an effect on the way
we view problems and events within public boundaries. One of the most important and most
effective influences children have in their lives comes from their families. Since we spend the
most time with our families, they are the primary adults who influence our values and
expectations for ourselves. The family can have both a positive and a negative influence on
their lives.

2.1. Positive Influence

My family projects the strongest influence upon me due to the relative isolation of my life in
a weak residential community. There are two very good examples of how my family has
influenced me both in a positive and a negative way. I grew up in a very non-literary yet
loving and caring family environment, created by my mother the homemaker. However,
being in that type of sheltered environment prevented me from many worldly influenced. My
family's influence pressures me to conform to an ideal image they hold for me to continue
this sheltered residential lifestyle.

2.2. Negative Influence

There are negative things that I have gain as negative influenced in my life. Though my
family loves and caring family yet there are some of their character’s that really put negative
aspects in my life. For instance, there are some times my family members used to say to me
that who will marry me with this ugly face. This makes me so unhappy that till now I don’t
have confidence on myself to stand or appear in front of people properly. It is because since
childhood listening such kinds of words definitely influenced me negatively to think that
there is no one ugly face like me. I lost the confidence about my self-image. They influenced
me negatively through their words to believe that really I am not handsome. Their negative
words certainly influenced me to believe and think about me as I am today.

3. FRIENDS

Friends are a beautiful gift to us. They add meaning to our life, enrich us, share our problems
and bring joy to our lives with their presence. We are free to choose our friends.

Anything good or bad happens in our life, we first want to share it with friends. For instance,
falling in love for the first time, getting job, buying a new dress or having our first baby; our

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friends know it all. We may have fought sometimes over many silly issues but the bond has
always grown stronger with every fight.

Each friend influences us in different ways. Some may be a positive influence like making us
concentrate on our studies while others may have had a negative influence like encouraging
us for drinking. But every friend is important in his/her own way. Here I will try to describe
how friends influence my lives to be as I am today:

3.1. Positive Influence

My interest and aim for studying theology and preparing myself to be a minister of God is
influenced by my friends. When I was in hostel in my school life my friends encourages me
to study the word of God properly and to preach. I used to read Bible daily which takes me to
their notice. They saw it so they used to tell me that I need to be pastor in order to serve our
church believers, because till now we have only one pastor in our church of God Lumdonbok
mission.

Another positive influenced that my friends have in my life is to lead people as a leader.
Since childhood my friends who have grown up with me used to put me at first in everything
so that I will lead them from in front. They used to encouraged me by saying that I have to
lead and I can do it, and this really help me to stand boldly in front of people to speak and to
lead others courageously.
3.2. Negative influence

Here the negative influence of my friends in my life is same with what negative influenced
my family have put in my life as it was already explain above. There are some of my friends
who are so handsome and stylish they used to look down at me because of my ugly face.
There are times I gave been insulted by them because of my ugly face. They used to insult me
by saying that, which girl will love me with this ugly face. And consequently this makes me
to strongly believe that there will be no one to love me because I am not handsome.

4. CHURCH

Religion is the first sense of community. Our sense of community occurs by reason of mutual
experience with others. As a Christian church become a community to us which also
definitely have influenced us both positively and negatively. It is a remarkable reality, that

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the existence of the church of Jesus Christ was a body of tremendous influence. It influenced
the people both positively and negatively as other key factors.

4.1. Positive Influenced

Since childhood especially since my hostel life I was introduced well with a church which
was a new community for me in my life apart of my parents, family and friends. Church has
really have positive influenced in my life that which really shape my life in the way I think
and in the way I decide about me today as I am now. Though Bible reading and prayer were
introduced by my parents and family in my life yet it was the church that has a great positive
impact in my life. During my hostel life I used to go to church regularly and every day. This
is church which help me to be today as I am. If there will be no church I will never reach here
to training and preparing myself for the ministry of God. It is because the department of
church, Sunday School which really influenced me and prepare me to be a religious leader. It
influenced me in the way how to pray and trust God and have knowledge about God.

4.2. Negative influenced

To say, that how church influenced me negatively it is important to know this statement, “we
don’t have Caste system but yet we have Class system” in church. This observation of myself
becomes a problem in my life to see people equally. There are times I used to see people in
the church used to pay attention to the high ranking or good status of people in society
whereas they used to neglect the low statuses of people. This influenced me to believe that I
should mingle always with high status of people and at the same time it influences me not to
attend church service where we could not find the sense of equality.

5. TODAY AS I AM DECIDING WHO I AM

The above explanation of four factors shows that how they influenced me both positive and
in negative way. This is important to notice that all these four factors had influenced me so
much that which have great impact in my life to decide who I am today.

My family is a broken family; always quarrel and lot of difficulties which sometimes let me
to hate my family and o decided that I am so unlucky to have been part of this family.
However at the same time I took all these broken and problems of family helps me to build
my faith on God. This is for this reason I decide myself that I am bless with my family and I
love them, no matter what problems, quarrel and difficulties come in my life as well.

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Our church or denomination full with lot of problems both internally and externally. Church
full with politics, and there was no unity. In such kind of circumstances I decided to change
my denomination along with my family. However, because of some elder’s encouragement I
did not give up and I decide again that I have to be the minister of God for my church with a
dream to change myself and to change my church and lead in the right way.

My friend circle is very vast which give me opportunity to know many peoples. This is my
friends who always pushed me to be a leader and lead our team which help me to decide that
I can be leader.

So in sum-up I want to say that now decide myself as a future leader of my church and as
well my family. In addition, all these four key factors helps me to decide that I can do great
things for the glory of God; no matter situation I faced because I have already faced many
difficulties and problems in my life within these four key factors which shape and mould me
as I’m today.

CONCLUSION

The above elaboration shows that all these four key factors (parents, family, friends and
church) have great influenced in my life both positively and negatively which have
influenced me to see and decide who I think I am now. All these four key factors build my
thoughts to think about me and as I am today through teaching, observing, imitating and
following and even by neglecting. It is because we are surrounded by these four key factors
in our life.