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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey

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Clay’s Surveys: http://tangoclay.us/clays-surveys/

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey
Q6 Comments (122)

What originally prompted you to begin learning tango? (You


may choose more than one answer.)
• Answered: 517
• Skipped: 56

I resonated with the perceived principles of Argentine tango


12/21/2016 7:37 AM
Taking a break from a more physically demanding dance form after a foot injury
9/29/2016 10:20 AM
Looking for something to do. Enjoyed a social dance class I took in college. An Argentine tango class was held at a
convenient time.
7/30/2016 2:27 PM
Music
5/24/2016 4:49 PM
It became available in my hometown.
10/12/2015 10:08 AM
I was curious
5/31/2015 5:41 PM
It was worth a try.
4/27/2015 10:38 PM
Significant other was prof dancer in Argentina. Very skilled.
3/22/2015 9:42 AM
Groupon
1/20/2015 2:53 AM
i wanted to improve my balance to do better spins in salsa
10/20/2014 6:42 AM
My ballroom dance instructors were 'into' argentine tango and persuaded me to pursue it with lessons, demonstrations, and
attending performances of argentine tango.
8/7/2014 6:04 PM
Was asked to perform in a tango performance troupe
8/5/2014 11:42 PM
My boyfriend was doing WCS with the group I danced with and was also a good Tango dancer and took me to Albertos (SF
Bay Area) for the first Tango class and milongita.
8/5/2014 1:04 PM
Coming out of a restaurant in downtown Salt lake City I heard a strang music; I followed the sound to its source, a basement
hideaway where a milonga was being held. That was over 10 years ago but I'm dissatisfied with the local club.
8/4/2014 10:47 PM
Saw a tango troupe perform tango.
8/3/2014 10:45 AM
Had taken several months of various ballroom dances. Tango was most appealing of all & I decided to pursue further. At
that early point in time, I didn't even know the difference between ballroom and Argentine tango.
8/2/2014 6:28 PM
Wanted to learn and have knowledge in most dance forms.
8/1/2014 6:20 PM
Lured to a tango festival.
8/1/2014 5:08 PM
I tried it and fell in love instantly.
8/1/2014 11:32 AM
I always loved the tango music, one day I saw the sign in Medford at the lodge that said "tango", I tried it and loved it
immediately and dreamed dancing all night :-)
8/1/2014 11:18 AM
I saw dancers practising one evening and thought "I have to learn that dance"
8/1/2014 11:09 AM
was in love with someone who dances tango (but he was and is not my significant other)

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey
8/1/2014 10:48 AM
Looking for a new activity and went to a dance studio checking out the classes. A Tango was offered, so I began. I had the
two worst teachers in town who did not know how to dance, but I persevered. After about a year I knew enough to find a
teacher who could teach me to dance with anyone and be able to dance at milongas.
8/1/2014 9:59 AM
I was a challanging dance that I wanted to try.
8/1/2014 9:01 AM
Argentinian Girlfriend
6/17/2014 9:22 PM
Wanted a fresh challenge after salsa
6/3/2014 1:15 AM
My daughter asked my husband to sign us up for beginners tango as a birthday present for me.
7/25/2013 12:57 PM
I'd always wanted to try it.
7/25/2013 9:01 AM
On my first try I was curious it lasted 3+ years. I gave it another chance 9 years later because of someone I liked.
7/25/2013 6:49 AM
worked too much
7/25/2013 12:00 AM
Electro-tango. I knew tango would teach me things about relating & intimacy, and myself
12/12/2012 2:06 PM
I was in a creative writing program and wanted to get out of my head. I also thought it was like a gentle marial art which
would help me in other areas of life.
10/23/2011 9:25 AM
My therapist suggested it after a divorce.
2/24/2011 10:44 PM
It was a dance I had wanted to learn for a long time.
11/2/2010 4:42 PM
my son/fiance danced and I had watched their lessons in Boston.. with good teachers... and friendly community at that time
11 -12 years ago before all the "close embrace" snobbery set in.
8/24/2009 1:45 PM
Read an offer in the newspaper - locally
8/11/2009 1:09 PM
My partner was interested in learning. (She has since become disenchanted.)
8/3/2009 12:04 PM
I am from Buenos Aires and tango is in my hearth
7/30/2009 1:39 PM
Tango Bar and seeing Mara Carlson and John Dahlstrand dance together seared Tango into my soul.
7/29/2009 10:37 PM
Decided to branch out to a more challenging dance than salsa.
7/29/2009 5:40 PM
No such thing as Close Embrace West Coast Swing.
7/29/2009 6:24 AM
Needed an ongoing menatal challenge
7/28/2009 10:17 PM
class project
7/23/2009 3:20 PM
no ballroom classes available at time we want to take a class
7/22/2009 12:57 PM
LOVE TO DANCE!
7/22/2009 12:51 PM
Iwas getting married, and the Argentino Tango fit my song best.
7/22/2009 9:56 AM
I wanted to learn salsa and my boyfriend wanted to learn tango.
7/22/2009 9:28 AM
Weekly class offered by local teacher was a good date night for my husband and me
7/22/2009 8:57 AM
Was exposed to tango as a child and always wanted to learn how to dance it.
7/19/2009 12:53 PM

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey
I wanted to expand my dance experience by learning a partner dance
7/17/2009 11:58 PM
My brother dances tango
7/17/2009 6:12 PM
Saw "Forever Tango" and free lessons were offered after the program.
7/17/2009 2:48 PM
Partner and I were dancing other forms and not being passionately caught by them - tried tango and fell in love with music,
connection - everything
7/17/2009 1:20 PM
Watching the wonderful Florencia Tachetti teach Tango after my Rumba class at Four Seasons ended
7/16/2009 4:26 PM
I was at a restaurant. Someone asked me to dance. It felt great. The person could really lead and I felt like I could dance.
7/16/2009 4:17 PM
Looking for couples activity.
7/16/2009 3:40 PM
I am from Argentina, grew up listening to tango music, and at age 25 or so began to love tango passionately.
7/16/2009 11:00 AM
I wanted something different from ballroom. Didn't have a partner since I moved and stopped teaching ballroom.
7/16/2009 10:14 AM
S.F. workshop
7/15/2009 11:10 AM
June Kranenburg was teaching tango at SOU and needed a couple to help demonstrate tango to class. My partner wasn't a
regular partner but we had danced together before. It was a blast and free!
7/14/2009 11:48 PM
Walked into a studio to just "start doing something else in life" and tango was available so I signed up for classes
7/14/2009 12:17 PM
Trying to find a partner dance that worked for me.
7/14/2009 8:27 AM
watched a tango performance at the Mondavi Center
7/14/2009 3:26 AM
Heard about a drop-in class, had been learning ballroom, waned to try something new.
7/14/2009 1:26 AM
A friend wanted to learn Tango after visiting Argentina. I stuck with it but he didn't.
7/13/2009 5:38 PM
lovely dance and i like high heels what more do you want!?!? haha. But it['s just not as exciting as swing/Lindy.
7/13/2009 2:38 PM
I read an article on ToTango.net weblog. I was looking for a dance to try other than ballet, modern, African, jazz dance. I
stumbled on an article dancing the moment by Sharna Fabiano and it prompted me to try tango ~ best article on the
improvisational nature of tango and it's such a beautifully written description if tango~. I think I'll re-read it again!!
7/13/2009 10:27 AM
I walked into a dance class on a Thursday Night just wanting to start any kind of dance lesson
7/13/2009 8:37 AM
I was learning to dance at a ballroom dance studio and the first time I saw the other students practicing tango, at the social
weekly dances, I rated it as the hardest and most exciting dance that existed. Naturally I had to learn.
7/13/2009 12:59 AM
Was the biggest dance - meaning, the more people danced tango than the other dances.
7/12/2009 10:20 PM
Several friends from my contra dance and nightclub dance communities suddenly dissappeared into this tango cult -- if I
ever wanted to see them again, I'd have to learn tango, too.
7/12/2009 1:38 PM
Mary Menz
7/12/2009 1:30 PM
It was a dance I hadn't tried yet.
7/11/2009 11:02 PM
when i moved to ashland, it was the partner dance du jour
7/11/2009 10:07 PM
I took local classes but quit after one milonga where a lead spent a lot of time trying to get me to "just follow". Restarted a
year later when Fabian Salas taught in Seattle for two months, hoping to learn to "follow", "listen", and drop my own agenda,
for personal reasons. Had seen "The Tango Lesson" so recognized Fabian's name.

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey
7/11/2009 8:44 PM
Heard the music when parents played I my childhood
7/11/2009 7:16 PM
Total accident
7/11/2009 5:20 PM
Saw Tango Mujer perform at a theatre where I worked.
7/11/2009 4:45 PM
my salsa teacher offered an introduction to tango, class/
7/11/2009 4:38 PM
I saw Tango Argentino.
7/11/2009 4:22 PM
Love doing all kinds of dance and classes were offered, so it was a natural next step to try tango.
7/11/2009 3:51 PM
Movies introduced the fab music and incredible dance to my senses, then I sat in on and watched an entire Master Class
series at a Festival... I was inspired by his clear teaching, despite his lack of English
7/11/2009 2:01 PM
i things, that i dance tango ,far before i born
7/11/2009 1:58 PM
Saw the Tango add on the building in Medford
7/11/2009 12:02 PM
At the time I was involved with someone who was into the Tango -
7/11/2009 11:39 AM
it was something new that my SO and I could do together
7/11/2009 10:58 AM
Saw 'Forever Tango' in San Francisco, loved it!
7/11/2009 10:43 AM
"Scent of a Woman"
7/11/2009 10:24 AM
Saw newspaper articles.
7/11/2009 10:10 AM
A pretty girl asked me to take the class with her.
7/11/2009 9:56 AM
Read an article about it in a magazine
7/11/2009 8:24 AM
American Tango, not Argentine Tango, was part of the dance curriculum at Arthur Murray-Carmichael CA when I first began
dancing.
7/11/2009 2:25 AM
Started partner dances with general ballroom. Watched a movie on TV "The Tango Lesson" and became interested.
Discovered the difference between stage performance tango versus social tango. Went to Buenos Aires with the ballroom
dance studio to learn Argentine Tango and fell in love with the atmosphere the 'community' displayed.
7/11/2009 1:43 AM
Always been drawn to it. Not sure why.
7/11/2009 1:02 AM
When i first saw it danced by a teacher here in Sedona i fell in love with what i saw.The teacher does not live here
anymore.There are no good teachers here
7/11/2009 12:44 AM
I read an article in the Eugene Registar Guard
7/11/2009 12:29 AM
The tango lesson of course
7/10/2009 11:50 PM
I was taking tap lessons. The class after in the room was tango. Everyone waiting to take the class was so excited! I talked
half the tap class into trying tango the next session. Two of us got completely hooked.
7/10/2009 11:12 PM
We met Lori Ross--need I say more?
7/10/2009 10:21 PM
I've always thought it was a beautiful and mysterious dance.
7/10/2009 10:18 PM
My husband and I were proficient in ballroom, and fell in love with Tango after watching a demontration with the Boston
Pops Orchestra.

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey
7/10/2009 9:55 PM
I had a partner who wanted me to share privates with him and so we took about 10 or 15 privates together and I
supplemented them with privates as a follow.
7/10/2009 9:40 PM
My woman friend liked it..good opportunity to be closer with her.
7/10/2009 9:08 PM
It was the "extra" dance in a College Ballroom Class. The next term, the "extra" was West Coast Swing. The next term it
was Viennese Waltz.
7/10/2009 8:56 PM
Classes were offered for a reasonable fee, locally.
7/10/2009 8:42 PM
family danced it
7/10/2009 8:28 PM
I saw people dance it at a ballroom dance.
7/10/2009 7:48 PM
walked by the tango center in Eugene, OR
7/10/2009 7:33 PM
Asked to perform in a tango show and needed to learn it to do so.
7/10/2009 7:24 PM
Looking for an empty nest experience I explored all types of dancing and was taken by the sensuality and the challenge of
tamgo.
7/10/2009 7:20 PM
I was taking ballroom from Clay, and he was offering Argentine Tango lessons as well.
7/10/2009 7:19 PM
It is a very appealing and sensuous dance form.
7/10/2009 7:15 PM
I originally fell in love with might be termed alternative Tango music and Astor Piazzolla.
7/10/2009 6:41 PM
I also wanted to expand my dancing repertoire.
7/10/2009 6:14 PM
I moved to a place where tango was the only local class offered
7/10/2009 5:53 PM
I like the artistic value, challenge, and sense of accomplishment.
7/10/2009 5:38 PM
The "Connection!"
7/10/2009 5:34 PM
Learning social dance while single: without the pressure of a partner's judgement during the steepest parts of the learning
curve.
7/10/2009 4:44 PM
Initially learned with parents' friends from a video, went to a beginner workshop with an ex-bf
7/10/2009 4:10 PM
i saw the movie "the tango lesson"
6/23/2009 1:39 AM
My partner suggested it and - as I liked dancing - I agreed happily.
6/22/2009 4:38 PM

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey

Q7 Comments (68)

How positive of an experience were your first few lessons?


• Answered: 556
• Skipped: 17

I spent the first three months presenting, and completing, the directional steps... And I loved it.
12/21/2016 7:37 AM
The first lessons I took were based on Feldenkras techniques and based only on connection with a partner. Good in
concept but the teacher kept using me for a demo partner then critiquing me in front of the class.
7/30/2016 5:55 PM

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey
First frew lessons. I stopped going to the teacher and only went when her sub was teaching, finally quit, not learning
anything. Found another teacher/class about 6 months later, hit the 2 worst in town, but made friends. Finally found a good
teacher and was hooked for years.
7/30/2016 2:27 PM
Although I was mortified by the closeness the first time I saw people dancing Tango in milongas
1/20/2015 2:53 AM
I cried. I loved to dance so I was so confused the first night. After the Second night, I was hooked.
8/5/2014 1:04 PM
It was a challenge and it was frustrating
8/4/2014 10:47 PM
It was Awful, And I Lowed IT!
8/1/2014 7:16 PM
It was good. I had no idea what that dance was about so I have nothing to compare it to but I enjoyed it very much.
8/1/2014 11:18 AM
I was interested in dance and learning something new is always fun and exciting.
8/1/2014 9:59 AM
Hard work, but having been thru beginner's hell in salsa I knew that I could get thru this. My fellow students were pleasant
and helpful .
6/3/2014 1:15 AM
Not very exciting and a bit confusing.
7/25/2013 12:57 PM
It was a spiritual experience.
7/25/2013 9:01 AM
I attended several schools and find that many teach by using long sequences. Very few focus on teaching 1 move and
positions from which you can create it.
7/25/2013 6:49 AM
I liked the instructor. I am always serious about things I learn
7/25/2013 12:00 AM
i would not use those words, exciting and thrilling. my first lesson resonated with me as a modern dancer over 40, with a
music background. it felt like a natural fit.
2/3/2013 4:13 AM
edxJWf <a data-src="http://trochuerwiqr.com/">trochuerwiqr</a>, [url=http://vakyvyxbbbgq.com/]vakyvyxbbbgq[/url],
[link=http://idajbsupwtvq.com/]idajbsupwtvq[/link], http://mceimpgfsrgm.com/
8/19/2012 7:13 PM
I started tango in a small but very friendly, welcoming and egalitarian/inclusive community of dancers of all ages, so the
experience was fun and not intimidating or frustrating.
3/3/2012 8:07 PM
Very few people - started in the gentler tango city of Syracuse, NY
10/23/2011 9:25 AM
Challenging in terms of technique, discipline, and practice required. I had the foresight to see the need for vast amounts of
time and money and travel to improve and committed to that course of action.
10/18/2011 10:13 AM
It was very different than any of the other dance disciplines.
11/2/2010 4:42 PM
My first lesson I got to dance with the instructor instead of a complete beginner and being held in close embrace and doing
a simple walk with some rock steps just did it for me!
6/1/2010 11:35 AM
I was in love with it. Much easier before I became critical of myself. Experienced leads were willing to dance with me much
more as a beginner. Not so much after I learned some
7/30/2009 6:26 PM
My first few Milongas were what sucked. I couldn't believe how rude some of the older leads were and how certain
instructors cattily criticized new dancers - within earshot - during the Milonga. Does Tango bring out unfettered hypercritical
vomit in certain individuals? Why????? It's even happening to me! WRETCH.
7/29/2009 10:37 PM
I was on a tango tour with a teacher who refused to teach me.
7/26/2009 3:43 AM
Privates good; Group tedious & boring
7/22/2009 1:02 PM
It might have been more exciting and trilling if we there had been more men.

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey
7/22/2009 12:51 PM
When the assistant was rude, it was mildly unpleasant.
7/19/2009 12:53 PM
Frustrating that other participants never practiced in between so lessons became repetitive - learning too slow.
7/17/2009 1:20 PM
I came to Argentine tango as a ballroom dancer, and found it a bit difficult. Did not enjoy followers' attitudes, folks seem too
anal about it.
7/16/2009 11:00 AM
different and challenging
7/15/2009 11:10 AM
Demanding, frustrating, but worth it.
7/14/2009 9:03 PM
I find all new dances difficult. Tango was more so than most, but I assumed, like other dances, it would become fun over
time.
7/14/2009 6:28 PM
Not enough Ladies to dance with
7/14/2009 1:12 PM
I later found the teacher was really a performer and can't dance tango well, bit I got started and found other teachers later
7/14/2009 12:17 PM
unable to practice without a partner. Dances were at too high a level.
7/13/2009 5:47 PM
But then I found a teacher I liked and it got better.
7/13/2009 10:58 AM
It was some of the people there that made it so interesting and fun
7/13/2009 8:37 AM
My dance teacher praised my natural ability.
7/13/2009 12:59 AM
Challenging but the learning curve was achievable
7/12/2009 10:16 AM
It was like I got left standing at the alter.
7/11/2009 11:02 PM
First lessons from local teacher were standard "steps and figures" and i would never have continued just from those--no
dance, no connection, no musicality or creativity. Fabian Salas was fun, exciting, challenging, tuaght how tango is physically
connected, improvised, creative, etc.
7/11/2009 8:44 PM
no Latin instructors. Mainly white folk.
7/11/2009 7:16 PM
100 % positive
7/11/2009 1:58 PM
I did not want to stop
7/11/2009 12:02 PM
But went pretty sour within about three months.
7/11/2009 10:24 AM
The dance itself was marvelous, but the lack of availability of capable partners in lessons and practicas was frustrating.
7/11/2009 9:41 AM
I was told that I was a good beginning dancer because of my musicality and ability to follow well. The experienced partner I
had in the class even did leads that were not taught by the instructors, but I was still able to follow it. It was a bit funny that
the instructor had to tell the experienced partner to stick to the steps being taught rather than doing something harder which
others in the class may not be able to follow. (This was in Argentina, where the partner did not speak English, and my
Spanish was poor at best. We could barely talk to each other.)
7/11/2009 1:43 AM
I was lucky--Cecilia Gonzalez was an early workshop instructor
7/11/2009 1:31 AM
It was really hard and i am used to being immefiatly able to be good at things.
7/11/2009 1:02 AM
Exciting and thrilling, and i felt awkward
7/11/2009 12:58 AM
I got the sense for it right away and started privates there was only one studio in town and class was 10.30 pm but i loved it
7/11/2009 12:44 AM

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey
Fascinating
7/10/2009 11:34 PM
I felt very comfortable with my first teachers, but not always with the more advanced students (especially leaders) who
would come to the class.
7/10/2009 10:18 PM
the teacher said and I quote "it is like I was talking Chinese." She is from Argentina...Our first experience was a private, she
has classes, but we don't participate. At the time, our first experience was with the only instructor in town. As the Twin Cities
scheduled more visiting instructors, we did return to Tango, but have slacked off lately because of fewer classes being
offered around the Twin Cities.
7/10/2009 9:55 PM
Intriguing
7/10/2009 9:19 PM
Confusing in that it was so different than any of the other dances in BR, C&W, Folk, etc. Unique and "off beat" in the music
and the moves.
7/10/2009 8:56 PM
unique and a bit tedious but you could progress quickly and then was more interesting
7/10/2009 8:42 PM
The first few lessons in Tango were exciting and challenging at the same time. It was hard to feel so awkward when I have
experienced myself as a very good dancer throughout my life.
7/10/2009 8:38 PM
It was exciting as well, but also quite frustrating. I like challenges so I bore down on it.
7/10/2009 7:20 PM
And awkward I might add
7/10/2009 6:41 PM
Classes moved too slowly
7/10/2009 6:14 PM
It was so hard to learn to follow, at the beginning. No one dances with beginning dancers except beginners, so it's hard to
improve. Finally I found a good dancer to take classes and practice with, and that's when tango really hooked me. Before
that, whenever I would ask a lead to practice with me, they ALWAYS assumed I was hitting on them.
7/10/2009 5:53 PM
I simply arrived at a milonga and asked the experienced follows to show me how to tango. It was my first time and I was
brazenly brave.
7/10/2009 5:38 PM
My first few lessons were part of a big beginners class, and I felt like the progress was so slow. But when I started going to
Roy's classes in Ashland, it was much more exciting :)
7/10/2009 5:14 PM
I did hit a wall early on...almost cried...almost quit, but the instructor that had made me cry also gave me a fantastic pep-talk
(unknowingly) the next night
7/10/2009 4:44 PM
Our very first lessons were frustrating, but then when we finally found teachers that made sense of it, it was fun.
7/10/2009 4:30 PM
It was very difficult for me - I took a lot of beginner lessons before I became even remotely proficient. I had no confidence in
my dancing was unfamiliar with the music and anxious about women.
7/10/2009 4:22 PM
Too many people attended. Good teaching and participation were nearly impossible
7/10/2009 4:14 PM

Page 13 of 51
Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey

Q8 Comments (52)

Where did you primarily study/practice Tango?


• Answered: 545
• Skipped: 28

Private lessons with local & Argentine teachers


2/16/2018 10:47 AM
Dance studio with other dances like salsa, balboa, etc
1/23/2017 4:27 PM
An (Argentinian) Argentine tango teacher arrived in my city, and I learnt from him.
12/21/2016 7:37 AM
6 months of group lessons, 3 months of private lessons then I hit the dance floor and learned how to 'swim". Some nights I
sank and other nights I had glimmers of connection that kept me coming back for more.
7/30/2016 5:55 PM
milongas
10/9/2015 9:27 AM
Bar/dance club in New Orleans
7/26/2015 2:30 PM
Various independent dance maestros--especially those from argentina!
8/7/2014 6:04 PM
I would drive 1 1/2 hours each way to dance Tango, 2-3 times a week in the bigger cities and also taking local classes and
milongas.
Page 14 of 51
Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey
8/5/2014 1:04 PM
Private instructor specializing in Argentine tango
8/2/2014 6:28 PM
PSU Tango Club
8/2/2014 1:18 PM
Organized local dance class - no tango club at the time
8/1/2014 6:20 PM
I took lots classes in Ashland, some private and mostly as a group
8/1/2014 11:18 AM
various classes offered in the Bay Area
8/1/2014 10:48 AM
Home
6/17/2014 9:22 PM
University of minnesota
4/21/2014 5:18 PM
Sometimes when I travel for my job, I look for places where I can dance. Sometimes the choices include Tango. I danced
Tango in France, Germany and Sweden.
7/25/2013 6:49 AM
Going to many milongas and dancing a lot with different partners.
7/25/2013 12:39 AM
privates
7/24/2013 7:31 PM
later i kept up with local group classes, practicas and milongas, but for four years i return to buenos aires for daily milongas,
practicas, and classes for two to three months at. time.
2/3/2013 4:13 AM
edxJWf <a data-src="http://trochuerwiqr.com/">trochuerwiqr</a>, [url=http://vakyvyxbbbgq.com/]vakyvyxbbbgq[/url],
[link=http://idajbsupwtvq.com/]idajbsupwtvq[/link], http://mceimpgfsrgm.com/
8/19/2012 7:13 PM
The Baltimore Tango community was in the beginning and remained to the end the most down to earth, fiendly, and
welcoming group. Took private lessons with a good dancer, but not a bona-fide instructor (whatever that means in tango)
7/30/2009 6:26 PM
I originally started in Eugene Oregon
7/29/2009 12:34 PM
I've had classes with almost all teachers in the Seatle area and many visiting expert workshops.
7/29/2009 6:24 AM
nowhere
7/22/2009 8:17 PM
A multi-purpose establishment.
7/22/2009 9:28 AM
A group class specifically for Argentine Tango
7/19/2009 1:01 PM
videos
7/15/2009 11:10 AM
SOU class, helping out.
7/14/2009 11:48 PM
Actually pretty much exclusively at milongas.
7/14/2009 5:07 PM
friend's home
7/13/2009 8:39 PM
on the dance floor
7/13/2009 2:38 PM
started a practica when in grass valley hosted milongas and tango groups for live music
7/13/2009 12:58 PM
ALso private lessons, which were by far my favorite, 'though they are too expensive for me to keep up.
7/13/2009 10:58 AM
Had a dance partner
7/12/2009 10:05 PM
a few lessons with Mary Menz
7/12/2009 1:30 PM

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey
private lessons
7/12/2009 11:44 AM
also, private teacher's studio
7/11/2009 10:07 PM
visiting argentine teachers. got much much more out of them than most local teachers at first. Then at milongas as well.
7/11/2009 8:44 PM
unfortunately, the practicas were more of a toned down Milonga.... very little interest or room for truly PRACTICING.. which
would naturally include stopping and starting, slowing down to feel ones way through a movement, etc.... but most just treat
it as another dance, with all the same social nonsense in play. I was very disappointed to find how much back-biting goes
on... dancers trashing other dancers' skill/style... never seemed like too much FUN to me.
7/11/2009 2:01 PM
beliber or not 66 year a go, i am now 71 years old
7/11/2009 1:58 PM
Stanford Tango week
7/11/2009 10:34 AM
Arthur Murray-Carmichael CA, Ballroom of Sacramento, Sacramento CA, Del Campo Dance Studio, Sacramento CA,
Spotlight Dance & fitness, West Sacrameto CA.
7/11/2009 2:25 AM
An instructors private studio
7/11/2009 12:45 AM
I am considering other dances but still love Tango the most
7/11/2009 12:44 AM
3 times to BA--lived there for a month in 2004
7/10/2009 10:21 PM
broken foot had to be repaired, and I tried dancing too soon after that.
7/10/2009 9:11 PM
College and at a local BRD studio. I had the four basic moves down, but I never could feel comfortable doing them. And my
wife had no interest in Art Tango, she wanted to do BR, and American Tango.
7/10/2009 8:56 PM
Mostly at the milongas. I particularly enjoyed La Garua, because John Isley is by far the best DJ in town. I also liked the
crowd and the floor at Sonny's.
7/10/2009 7:20 PM
Actually lived in Uruguay for a while.
7/10/2009 6:14 PM
Out-of-town lessons
7/10/2009 5:35 PM
One session only
7/10/2009 4:14 PM
at home with partner, videos and in between privates, working on specific details and exercises
7/10/2009 3:58 PM

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey

Why did you quit Tango? (Select all answers you feel apply.)
• Answered: 518
• Skipped: 55

Q10 Comments (246)


Can't find a leader my level to practice & dance as much as is needed to progress at an advanced level (15+ years of
serious study with yearly month-long intensive training in Buenos Aires)
2/16/2018 10:47 AM
Joint damage
3/16/2017 11:32 PM
Not many I feel connected with
1/23/2017 4:27 PM
I moved at a sensitive time in my learning for my (professional) career. The move resulted in a disjoint perception of what to
expect/seek in the couple's connection.
12/21/2016 7:37 AM
love sorrow
10/18/2016 8:09 PM
I just got tired of it.
10/2/2016 10:00 AM
The group started catering to alternative music and dance. New dancers didn't really like tango or the music, codes and
turned it into "swango".
9/30/2016 11:12 AM
Standard of local community too poor, not enough serious dancers
9/29/2016 10:20 AM
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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey
The people are generally not friendly.
8/1/2016 12:00 PM
I ended a relationship with a beloved tanguero and felt unsupported by my community of female "friends". One woman told
me outright that she didn't want to sit next to me at a milonga because HE might not ask her to dance. It was then I learned
how shallow some of the "connections" in tango actually are.
7/30/2016 5:55 PM
Milongas start too late. People pick apart others' dance, so it gets old. My teachers, once I found good ones, are fantastic.
7/30/2016 2:27 PM
Boring... did not find it difficult, just boring . A step above line dancing.
7/29/2016 11:47 AM
The problem with tango in my city is that, the followers can't walk properly let alone dancing. How can I learn by trying to
lead them? I think it is absolute waste of time to dance with people 20/30 years older than you. I like girls who are young
and energetic to dance with not some one who is much slower than me. I won't learn like that. Plus, teachers teach tango
like it is math. Tango must be taught like a sport, and you need to be fit to dance Tango. But usually beginners and older
people are not fit, I really love Tango and the music but I can't find followers. Or, I will need to get private classes which is
really expensive.
5/24/2016 4:49 PM
Tango attracts fantasists. I'm a realist.
4/12/2016 2:31 PM
I've never met so many narcissistic, dangerous men in such a short time period.
10/29/2015 3:15 PM
I've danced/competed ballroom and Salsa for years with excellent success. After 10 months of Tango, I was going nowhere,
with no moves, and not even my time to participate in a Milonga.
10/12/2015 10:08 AM
bullies and bad attitudes
10/9/2015 9:27 AM
Didn't love it enough to put in the time and money to advance beyond intermediate. Was very young and had difficulty
making friends / most dancers were 50+.Also wanted to spend my weekends with friends my age who didn't dance.
10/7/2015 8:48 PM
The highs are very high but I no longer think they compensate for the terrible lows of rejection.
6/8/2015 1:30 PM
Workshops are always geared to intermediate to advanced, difficult to get started when everyone is telling you different
things about posture, stance, steps. Watching people have fun at milongas, while I just get corrected and not really enjoy
any of it.
3/22/2015 9:42 AM
It takes away too much of my time, and I'm addicted to this point where I realize I need to pull myself OUT and have some
balance in life.
1/20/2015 2:53 AM
learned and became good at salsa and bachata; found these dances more fun, more close to my age group and energy
level, people less snobish; then I return to a milonga and am striken by the differences
1/2/2015 4:38 PM
I found that it does not matter where I go (perhaps except in BA), tango communities have turned social tango into
something weird that its not suppose to be. So I gave up in disgust. To be fair, there are a small number of people who truly
understand and respect the social tango tradition but they represent a very small minority.
11/17/2014 12:18 PM
In 1993 at the Verdi, there were many south/central america dancers. The milongueros were gracious, protected me from
dance injuries, walked me off the floor. Men asked beginners and all ages to dance and not just the dancer that would make
them look best or were the best looking. It was about the connection and feel of the moment and not about how great they
looked on the dance floor. How many times I had a beginner leader stop dancing in a milonga to tell me how to do a move
that they were not properly leading. A real milonguero would simply do the moves that would make the woman feel safe and
capable. It really is all about the connection.
8/5/2014 1:04 PM
It appears the members of the tango club I jointed, the Wasatch Tango Club in Salt lake City, as soon as they put on their
dance shoes they loose their ability to communicate off the dance floor. I come from a senior military officer and aerospace
executive background where social reparte was important. My goal in attending milogas was to dance tango but also to
make new friends; have been in the club 10 years and still no friends. Maybe its the Utah culture thing, but whatever it is, its
terribly disappointing.
8/4/2014 10:47 PM
A year of private lessons with Savanna Morgan was the exception to all of the above.

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8/3/2014 10:45 AM
I was bored with my level of dancing and didn't feel like I could afford private lessons, which seemed to be the only way to
get better fast enough to keep me interested.
8/2/2014 1:18 PM
fell in love with someone who couldn't get past the unfriendlly elitism to move beyond beginner level--he didn't want to
change partners and was uncomfortable with rude partners
8/1/2014 10:10 PM
Mostly quit because of being forced to dance more than one dance in a row with someone. It should be freedom of choice
like it is with all other social dances in the US. It's so unfair to the ladies sitting out 3 dances in a row, if they don't get asked
again then it's 6 dances and so on. The evening is short with dance partners if you have to dance 3 in a row. At other social
dances (ballroom, swing, country), I never sit and can dance with many dance partners - the evening isn't long enough for
me to dance with all my friends and if I had to dance 3 in a row it would not be fun and I would miss out dancing with so
many great partners of all levels.
8/1/2014 6:20 PM
Moved to new community that is very small and divided by politics. It only takes a few individuals to screw it up for
everyone.
8/1/2014 5:58 PM
Too divisive in the community, different circles don't talk or dance with each other, forcing you to choose.
8/1/2014 5:08 PM
Fell in love with a man who was incredibly jealous and put tango on the shelf for 4-5 years :(
8/1/2014 11:32 AM
first: I don't have a partner to dance with or practice with, then..I don't like to pay for classes or the millangas and just sit
there and watch and hope someone will ask me to dance, then..the teachers are not nice enough and considerate and are
very "irragant" to dance with any woman other than very pretty girls or very beautiful dancer, then....even though I forced
myself to go to a millanga alone, I sat there almost the entire time. I'm a professional it hurts my pride to just sit there and
fell not worthy of the great dancers to ask me to dance. especially when some men and even the teachers come to where I
am sitting with another woman and asks the younger, the prettier, and better dancer to dance with. that is very humiliating.
so I went home and never came back
8/1/2014 11:18 AM
I started trying other dances like Blues and Swing and Waltzing and found people to be much more open and friendly and
sexier and more enjoyable to talk to and be around.
8/1/2014 10:48 AM
I still dance now and then, but basically I am so bored with the local community. They are clique-ish, arrogant and generally
immature.
8/1/2014 9:59 AM
surgery
8/1/2014 9:39 AM
too much tango drama with some of the women
7/7/2014 6:14 PM
The two instructors I liked moved away leaving a technically good couple , but who had no patience with stragglers. I found
tango to be draining and needing obsession I was advised to drop salsa and adopt a ' Tango lifestyle' a la Paz and Hart. I
felt I was putting in more than I was getting out. I looked at the drawn faces of tangueros vs. energised salseros and made a
choice. I kept up the salsa, LA and Cuban, visiting Cuba wow! plus Bachata and Cha- cha, also learning Lindy and Brazilian
Zouk Lambada. The latter uses similar music to Kizomba an Afro-portuguese tango derivative which is too bump and grind
for my taste. I read Kapka Kassabova's book about Tango toxicity , 12 Minutes of Love, which confrmed my feelings. Also
Long past Midnight at the Nino Bien. Oh and I found the tanda system had me praying for the end as I had used up all my
moves after two tracks and was getting tired and bored. Thankfully the idea of Mirada y Cabeceo never took off.
6/3/2014 1:15 AM
Moved away from Minneapolis to Chicago. Dancers in Chicago are all old and grumpy.
4/21/2014 5:18 PM
I found that it was all or nothing in the tango community. Since tango wasn't my life, I was looked down upon by the good
dancers, so I only got asked to dance by mediocre or creepy dancers.
3/11/2014 12:37 PM
Too few good leaders around to dance or practice with. Men prefer babes who could barely dance and it doesn't seem to
matter that some of us worked hard to be good followers get passed over.
7/25/2013 12:57 PM
Eventually, it got to the point where the hassle of the cliquiness and the constant potential for rejection outweighed the
pleasure of it. There weren't enough leaders I enjoyed dancing with.
7/25/2013 9:01 AM

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Different economic demographic
7/25/2013 7:22 AM
I took lessons in 6 Tango schools in my city, going through various levels. Also, even after travelling 3 times to Buenos Aires
and taking workshops 3 to 4 times a day for a month AND taking 3-4 privates a week, I would return home and still have
trouble finding partners to dance with. Often the more advanced couples just dance with a significant other or a clique
member. In my home town, I'd often spend most of my evenings sitting down. I would dance more in Milongas of Buenos
Aires. As even though I was there only on vacations. I found I'd have more fun in my evenings dancing Lindy Hop, WCS or
Salsa (where followers would often walk up to me and invite me) than watching other people dance Tango. In Argentina, I
found the dancers there far more welcoming of a new face. In Germany I danced more than in my home town despite the
language barrier. One of the teachers I took Tango lessons from did not actually have a dance with me in a Milonga until
after I completed my second trip to Argentina (which was after I had attended the school she worked at for 2 years).
7/25/2013 6:49 AM
too energetic. Lots of big moves made me breathless like dancing a marathon race. Went to milongas and never got asked.
Waste of time and unpleasant to be overlooked for all the time and effort spent becoming proficient and as a women men
did not appear to appreciate being asked to dance. And yes, very elitist. The same few folks dancing round and round. I
don't call it a social dance at all.
7/24/2013 10:08 PM
it's not so much that the local community is small, but it is incestuous, limited and unevolving at times.
7/24/2013 8:00 PM
too significant impact on social life (real friends) and too significant impact in general (all other things in life ;))
7/24/2013 7:31 PM
Too hard to find someone inspired and motivated to improve.
7/24/2013 7:23 PM
There are very few happy people in tango.
4/27/2013 12:12 AM
I think about quitting because i am a skilled dancer with a strong connection to the music, and i seek the same. but those
men stick to their established favorites or chase pretty clutzes.
2/3/2013 4:13 AM
Answers vary based on Chicago vs Pittsburgh
12/12/2012 2:06 PM
edxJWf <a data-src="http://trochuerwiqr.com/">trochuerwiqr</a>, [url=http://vakyvyxbbbgq.com/]vakyvyxbbbgq[/url],
[link=http://idajbsupwtvq.com/]idajbsupwtvq[/link], http://mceimpgfsrgm.com/
8/19/2012 7:13 PM
I moved to Portland in the pursuit of tango since I had heard great things about its community. Sadly, despite immersing
myself immediately for quite a while by attending practicas and milongas several times a week and volunteering at the
festivals, I found the community difficult to gain/maintain access to and spent a lot of time sitting around watching. Maybe
partly due to the fact that I did not have the financial means to take lessons with local teachers, but I had just come from a
year of dancing almost every day and taking group lessons at least three times a week (I had had a work-exchange with an
instructor in the city I had moved from), so felt that what I mostly needed were simply "miles." Of course, many people here
in Portland were/are very friendly (mostly the ones older than I by 10-20 years) but a large number of leaders kept ignoring
me completely. I'd say I was an intermediate level follower at the time and would have needed dances with followers my
level or better to improve.
3/3/2012 8:07 PM
I am/was considering getting back by taking10 privates.Then went to a milonga last night where I watched men snatch up
skinny and or younger and or asian and or sluttily dressed women, while I got asked by two poor leaders, and, at 1:30 am,
one "good" dancer, who I had a ton of trouble following. he also smelled like B.O. I've seen him a lot, and I think he looks
flashy on the floor, but is a sucky leader. Tango isn't kind to women, is also what I want to say here.
10/23/2011 9:25 AM
I've been dancing (at least once/week) over 8 yrs. but our community still has only 3 advanced leaders. Gender imbalance
and always a problem. Ray Barbose has the right idea in limiting registration to keep gender balance!
10/18/2011 10:13 AM
Not enough time with school and job!
4/22/2011 8:54 AM
Realized that tango community/dynamics not conducive of maintaining a healthy relationship with significant other.
2/24/2011 10:44 PM
I've weaned myself away from the privates, classes, workshops, milongas. Spent alot of money in the last 3yrs only to
dance basic steps over and over, the level of male dancers here is not that high. I don't like dancing close embrace all night,
I prefer salon style with hipper music, the old tango music is monotonous and gets on my nerves after an hour. They all
sound the same after awhile. There are some snobs, but I don't care, I ignore them. I just want to dance and I've been

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disappointed more times than I have had enjoyable times. It's probably time to move onto another dance, probably West
Coast Swing/Hustle, it's happier music and the people are much friendlier. I feel that if I don't attend every single weekend
workshop, classes/practicas/milongas, that I truly am not part of the tango community. Like I'm not that serious. It also costs
a ton of money and traveling by myself.
6/1/2010 6:14 PM
Did not quit yet! I will not quit ever probably attending milongas, I might have to quit classes one day if I have to put my
money elsewhere
6/1/2010 11:35 AM
Class/milonga venues a little too far from my home, and in areas I feel uncomfortable driving home late at night from.
9/27/2009 9:14 AM
Too many hours of down time, when I go out I like to dance, and most tango leads are busy dancing, but I do not feel they
are that intereted in the dance and very selective. Cabecio very difficult for me. At salsa clubs, they rush and are
enthusiastic to dance with everyone. I dance until I am exhausted.
9/26/2009 8:29 PM
Quality of instruction. Not enough social venues to dance tango.
8/28/2009 8:33 AM
I haven't quit, but really disliked your response, Clay, that women should learn to lead (or else sit) and people (who consider
themselves to be good dancers)won't dance with lesser dancers. (you made this quite obvious to me a few years ago)
8/24/2009 1:45 PM
Injury
8/21/2009 10:05 PM
I find it very difficult to ask someone to dance with me.
8/18/2009 11:00 AM
My husband didn't think we had time for it
8/11/2009 1:09 PM
Girlfriend
8/4/2009 11:40 AM
The lack of continuity, proper advertising, politics, and a lousy venue!
8/3/2009 12:04 PM
I have danced tango for over 10 years and no longer had the energy to put in the time to remain a part of the "in crowd".
8/3/2009 11:48 AM
Alot of travel involved. Time and mileage committment not conducive and more and more costly (as)
7/30/2009 6:26 PM
I found that people got very serious about it, and sometimes I felt that my sense of humor wasn't welcome. Also it seemed
that one had to look or act or dance a certain way to be an acceptable partner within any given community, which really
annoyed me and made it hard when visiting a different community.
7/30/2009 5:02 PM
Certain instructors said unsavory (and untrue) things about other instructors directly to me and I assume to others. This was
very unprofessional and had consequences for the insulted instructors. There is a high level of social/emotional retardation
in certain instructors in the Tucson scene - this has harmed the Tango community. I will no longer dance with or take
classes with them. Also, some of the 'respected' experienced older dancers are rude to and hypercritical of less experienced
and younger dancers. These individuals seem to care more about Tango as a means to maintain symbols of their upper
class status, (and look down on and insult dancers who are not wealthy) than they do about Tango as an end in itself. They
may have done well at learning the dance of Tango, but they suck eggs at the dance called Life (or, the dance called grow-
up-and-acquire-the-ability-to-introspect-and-treat-other-human-beings-with-kindness )
7/29/2009 10:37 PM
too late in evening. Couldn't go out at 10:00 anymore.
7/29/2009 7:38 PM
Originally, I moved out of the country where there was no tango for 4 years. On my return, I began a relationship with
someone who doesn't dance. The last few months, I've begun to reenter it, but have found it discouraging for many reasons:
1) cliquishness 2) general unfriendliness and at times point-blank rudeness 3) lack of dance partners 4) frustration at my
own level of dance (many years ago I was quite good) 4) inability at this point in my life to afford the $200 shoes or the sexy
clothes 5) I'm an awkward in-between age at 33, too old to be hip with the young tango-nuevo crowd; too young for the
more mature dancers. Most people my age are dealing with kids and careers. I know that if I stick with it, I can overcome
some of these frustrations, but at times it requires too much energy.
7/29/2009 5:40 PM
the good lead dancers don't dance with new people/visitors eventhough some could be advanced dancers. When you hear
"no" so many times, you give up and find something else for fun!
7/29/2009 12:34 PM

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I live 35 to 90 miles from where I need to go to dance. I'm not going to drive that far, pay the gas money and the entry fee,
then sit there all night to do one dance.
7/29/2009 7:19 AM
Haven't Quit --- yet... Still looking for the right partner, more time to practice, more money for more lessons, and a good job
in Argentina.
7/29/2009 6:24 AM
I didn't quit. I'm an ongoing work in progress
7/28/2009 10:17 PM
Over the ten years I've been dancing, the music in the milongas (in the US, anyway) has changed from the Golden Age
recordings that I love to more "Nuevo," which to my ears is just disco with bandoneons. I don't mind this kind of music if I'm
not dancing, but absolutely hate it when I am.
7/28/2009 8:42 PM
At the time that I began dancing there were not many earlier in the day tango dance options. With a family and my work it
was too difficult to be out dancing late.
7/28/2009 8:16 PM
None of these are quite right. I quit because I got tired of sitting on the sidelines and watching other people dance. I could
not convince myself to pursue men for dances when they did not seem interested in dancing with me. I lost confidence in
my attractiveness as a partner.
7/28/2009 3:50 AM
Tango in U.S. was not like tango in Buenos Aires. No tandas, no cabeceo, no escape. Hounded by unwanted partners,
injured by crazy steps and figures.
7/26/2009 3:43 AM
Injuries
7/24/2009 6:37 PM
Classes weren't great
7/23/2009 5:32 PM
inconvenient days/times
7/22/2009 12:57 PM
Husband is willing but he and both of us travel too much to attend regular lessons.
7/22/2009 12:51 PM
The bickering and politics between instuctors.
7/22/2009 12:39 PM
My wife decided to sleep with other men.
7/22/2009 10:42 AM
knee problem and toes
7/21/2009 7:01 PM
The teachers in the Minneapolis/St. Paul tango community are not working together to improve and grow tango here in MN.
I'm tired of the petty bickering and politicking. They ought to be trying to improve the level of tango in the community. I wish
we had more tango teachers. Our overall population is about the same as Portland and yet Portland has more tango
dancers, milonga's and teachers.
7/21/2009 3:25 PM
Knee problems, my wife especially found that some partners were easy to dance with, others torqued her knee or were
otherwise insensitive.
7/21/2009 10:26 AM
Life is very busy and it is difficult to make sure that my girlfriend would go with me to a lesson. also, in the middle of some
lessons i became sick and was unable to continue so I ended up loosing the money I had prepaid for a set of lessons and
that loss turned me off from trusting the instructors.
7/20/2009 11:16 PM
Work and new puppy eroded time availability, then got more serious about general ballroom, and not enough time for tango
7/19/2009 6:37 PM
fter 2 years of listening to the music and reading about the history of Tango I decided to take a class. I evaluated all the
obstacles to decide if it was worth going forward. I decided not being able to find a practice partner was a deal breaker. I
quit after a few classes because I spent most of my time watching beginning couples with very little opportunity to try it
myself. Now I don't even listen to the music anymore.
7/19/2009 1:01 PM
Heard others describing their Technicolor experiences during a dance which I never perceived or shared. (having just my
comparative tiny black-and-white screen.)
7/18/2009 10:15 PM

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no local same sex tango venues, and partner isn't comfortable learning tango as a lead in straight venues. Since partner
doesn't tango, but does other social dances (i.e. Country Western) I tend to do that more often with her in gay venues.
7/18/2009 12:11 PM
Husband doesn't dance it.
7/18/2009 12:52 AM
Significant other did not dance and it became "uncomfortable" to dance with other men....
7/17/2009 6:12 PM
Haven't quit but have found a local dirth of partners at my level and was getting bored enough to consider dropping out.
7/17/2009 1:20 PM
Was fun for a few years, but then spent too much time dancing with bad dancers--took the fun out of it. I was improving but
the leaders weren't. I got bored and moved on to other things. I liked the people though overall.
7/16/2009 5:44 PM
Always very few young people - being in the wrong age group gets old FAST. I'm young and naturally prefer dancing with
younger people that are both physically more pleasant and have bigger potential in dancing. Advancement goes faster too!!!
7/16/2009 4:29 PM
I felt like I had to "join a cult" to fit in at the Tango Society of Minnesota. There is intense pressure to dance exactly the way
the main faction of purists determined was proper, people make nasty comments on the dance floor about others, there are
very nasty politics and cliques that go on. People who have been dancing it and taking lessons for five years are "not good
enough." I was repulsed to see one local instructor taking applications (photo required!!) and money up front, and only then
POSSIBLY accepting people into a PRACTICE GROUP. This is elitism at its worst. There are "dirty old men" who demand
close embrace. I prefer to dance it only with my husband. There should be room for a more social distance from the partner.
I dance tons of salsa and I don't mind dancing sexy socially, but I, as the follower, decide how close I want to get. Not the
leader!
7/16/2009 4:24 PM
Level of dance not great here.
7/16/2009 4:17 PM
*Partners who were critical (playing 'teacher') instead of just doing their best to follow *Difficulty in meeting other singles
*Left-wing politics of most teachers
7/16/2009 10:17 AM
Classes are always late at night and I had to be up for work 4:30AM. So I tried just going to dances for awhile, but if you
aren't in classes no one will ask ou to dance unless your 20 something than it doesn't matter if you can dance or not.
7/16/2009 10:14 AM
Was rarely asked to dance at practicas
7/15/2009 3:38 PM
Plateaued in my abilities and cut back on expenses which prevented travelling outside my local community. This was
concurrent with developing new interests.
7/15/2009 1:22 PM
it was too intimate of a dance for my jealous (now ex) boyfriend.
7/15/2009 9:30 AM
Spouse's interest and proficiency level not as high as my own. Easier to quit than try to become integrated in a new
community.
7/15/2009 1:05 AM
Job change made staying out so late very difficult.
7/14/2009 9:03 PM
So many responser complain that they don't get asked to dance. It's not so easy for leaders either. After almost three years
and a recent trip to Buenos Aires where I took private lessons every day, I still often feel clumsy. And if I ask the wrong kind
of person to dance, one who doesn't like dancing with a "beginner" I actually get clumsy. I love tango but too often it makes
me feel like a klutz.
7/14/2009 6:28 PM
Arthritic ankle....needed surgery
7/14/2009 4:56 PM
Too few dance partners who take the dance seriously and become proficient. It seems the women study tango and the men
just try to pick it up, which frankly, makes for bad dancing! Also, the tango community is so ridiculously fragmented, it makes
the pool of dancers at any particular studio or milonga way too small.
7/14/2009 3:45 PM
No convient time to practice tango in Fresno
7/14/2009 3:41 PM
I have not yet quit- though have considered it a few times, mainly for the reasons listed.
7/14/2009 3:39 PM

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Clay Nelson & Beth Anne :: Why I Quit Tango Survey
Sickness
7/14/2009 1:12 PM
I have not quit, but have stopped goup lessons ( see above) and woudl love to find other instruction that will take me to the
next level, but have not so I may just move on. It is very frustrating. Milongas are so cliquish which is so immature
7/14/2009 12:17 PM
As contrasted to Portland, the number of tango activities is not as frequent, so repetitive practice was much harder for me. I
lilve a full hour's drive from where the lessons and practicas are, as well. This doesn't seem so bad until you start making
the drive routinely, on top of all the other driving you already do. There was no partner locally for me.
7/14/2009 8:27 AM
I am still dancing, but not as much as I once was. My main reason for dancing less is not listed here, and I find that odd,
since I think it's a common one: I got into a relationship with someone who doesnt dance and has no desire to learn. I have
friends who have quit altogether for this same reason. I also find the clique-sih ness a bit hard, especially since I am middle
aged (though considered attractive).
7/14/2009 1:26 AM
the teacher i had that i liked stopped teaching
7/13/2009 8:39 PM
Hard to find tango lessons at the right time and day of week
7/13/2009 7:58 PM
worked out of town
7/13/2009 6:47 PM
Other responsibilities clashed with dance lessons and it can get expensive.
7/13/2009 5:38 PM
Dance partner moved away. Husband don't dance
7/13/2009 5:16 PM
sig other doesn't tango
7/13/2009 2:38 PM
I did not enjoy the dance as it was too slow and I could not move. I like a dance that is more active and fast moving. Like
WC swing or East Coast Swing.
7/13/2009 1:34 PM
I had too many other conflicting activities
7/13/2009 1:31 PM
Started a relationship with a jealous man.
7/13/2009 1:27 PM
Saturday is not a good day for me.
7/13/2009 1:13 PM
Most instructors do not offer a coherent approach that builds on basic moves and gives the impression of having learned a
body of knowledge. Too mysterious, open-ended, and, it seems, no two instructors communicate with one-another.
7/13/2009 12:37 PM
Went to Argentina to dance more, then came back with Argentine husband. We now have 3 kids and would love to dance,
but there aren't any kid friendly dance venues and we're pooped by 9:30!
7/13/2009 12:03 PM
it seems as if one needs to have acrobatic qualities to dance the tango.
7/13/2009 11:01 AM
The schedule. I wasn't sleeping well, dragging around on 3 to 5 hours. Found out that if I go to bed at 10 or so, I'm fine. But
the milongas all start at 10 or later. So I chose the rest of my life over tango.
7/13/2009 10:58 AM
There were leads I would have loved to dance with but they had eyes only for the skilled followers - which I understood. It
just left me feeling like a kid with my nose pressed against the candy store window. I would have returned to group lessons
just to have a variety of partners to dance with but I injured by foot and back and have not been able to return.
7/13/2009 9:41 AM
Physical: low back and knee pain Mental: time spent dancing was taking away from other things I needed to accomplish in
life. Psychological: although purported to be one of the better leads and most accomplished tango dancer in the area I did
not feel that I could communicate my intentions to my partner effectively all of the time and disagreements were
disheartening. I did not feel that I was progressing acceptable to my ambitions. I felt that dancing occasionally when there
was free time would gradually diminish my level of ability which seemed to already be stuck below expectations of myself so
I quit altogether in order to avoid continuing disappointment.
7/13/2009 9:06 AM
As an older woman, seemed that the men wanted to dance with younger women. Feeling like endless need to improve.
Also, social dances often start so late. I tend to be an early riser.

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7/13/2009 3:39 AM
Most of these aren't reasons I quit necessarily, they are just some unpleasant things that can accompany a tango lifestyle.
The major reason that I quit is because I started college and moved to Ashland OR. I couldn't find a single teacher there that
had half the talent of my old teacher and I didn't have the money (nor did I want to spend money on bad instruction) to
continue lessons.
7/13/2009 12:59 AM
I found the men often were very arrogant (sadly without reason), and the women competitive (also hard to understand
except in so far as this was a response to the often low ratio of men to women)
7/12/2009 10:20 PM
I found other tango dancers wouldn't ask me to dance unless they thought I was a good dancer. I found a dance partner
after about 6 months and started getting good, then I started working in Seattle and there wasn't enough time. I wasn't
having enough fun to return to get good. I took group lessons from Carrie (entire series) and Alex, went to 3 TangoFests in
Portland and Seattle. After going to contra 3 times, I had more friends than I made in 9 months of Argentine tango! That was
eye opening.
7/12/2009 10:05 PM
the women play too many games........ect
7/12/2009 7:19 PM
There are times when I just want to go and be there, listening to the music, but not interested in dancing. There is implied
pressure (looks and other gestures) from many of the women that I should be asking them to dance. And that makes it
uncomfortable for me to attend when I am not up to dancing but would like to be there, so I just stopped going completely.
7/12/2009 6:33 PM
Sort of drifted away...
7/12/2009 1:59 PM
My most favorite dance partner got a serious girlfriend and no longer would dance or even socialize with me any longer. In a
small community, that was very painful for me.
7/12/2009 1:38 PM
I did enjoy when the lessons that Mary Menz taught at the church on Friday Nights. It was a good time for me.
7/12/2009 1:30 PM
Tango is still my passion. But for women of a certain age and proficiency level, at least in the U.S., it is a dreadful
experience, made all the worse by our love for it. I do not see any way for any tango community to address the widespread
arrogance of self-styled young experts who prefer to dance only with pretty young things. This attitude is not limited to
youngsters; I have found older self-styled "experts" -- whether instructors or not -- to be equally unfriendly and unwelcoming,
especially in Portland, although I have had the same experience in Seattle and San Francisco. I dance well, although I
would never dream of being so arrogant as to call myself "expert." I am not objectively an unappealing partner, nor are the
other women I know who suffer from the same attitudes.
7/12/2009 12:30 PM
The level of understanding and dedication of the vast majority of tango dancers was very low. Far to many dilettantes living
out their fantasies.
7/12/2009 11:44 AM
Instruction was so much about steps again and again. I needed more basic understanding of the fundimentals of why steps
are placed where they are and some basic understanding of the building block movements and when they can be applied. I
was not retaining this dance as well as others for that reason. Knowing how to walk and do back ochos are not enough of a
base. There was an excellent teacher in Juneau (Pat Belec at The Dance Loft) that showed us the "count" and what
combination of steps you could apply on that count and people picked up the dance much quicker. I had started to move
onto other dances that I could pick up and use faster so Tango fell by the wayside.
7/12/2009 11:40 AM
I love tango and always will. It gets very intense, though, because with me it's all or nothing. I have quit several times
because I get very busy with work and parenting. It's always wonderful to go back and find that I still love it, and that people
still want to dance with me, and that I still want to dance with them. When I take a break, I tend to do another kind of dance I
can fit into my schedule, like salsa or jazz or other studio classes. This keeps me in shape, at least, and it's easier to go
back.
7/12/2009 8:18 AM
Being busy with school and work.
7/12/2009 2:22 AM
They played the same music over and over and over again. It got old fast.
7/11/2009 11:02 PM
Not a friendly group in any city I've ever danced unfortunately
7/11/2009 10:37 PM

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not enough connection between the music and the moves--although it does have a recognized count, the way its usually
danced, it's more like background music to a repetoire of moves
7/11/2009 10:07 PM
After being part of the organizing in our community, I have slowly been spending more of my time on the organizing and
less of it dancing, that is just not any fun, since I detest organizing and have by association begun to hate tango. Also, I am
sick and tired, SICK AND TIRED of being a woman over thirty who has worked hard, become very very proficient, and is
now utterly ignored at milongas and festivals by most of the better male leads. I thought for many years that the way to get
dances with good dancers was to become a better and better dancer myself, but the better male dancers are much less
interested in getting good dances with experienced women who have something to offer in the dance, than with starry eyed
newcomers who are oh so easy to impress. There is not enough respect for experience and excellence in this community.
7/11/2009 8:44 PM
I'm a tall woman and wanted to dance with someone my height or taller-and a teacher I had was very critical of my height.
7/11/2009 8:13 PM
Not an integral group of various ethnic races
7/11/2009 7:16 PM
too late in the evening for a person at work 6:30 AM. I would love to find intermediate and advanced classes early evening-
6-7pm or weekends,,morning and afternoons like the availability of salsa classes. Also, tango classes seem to me a little
more aout of the way for a car-less person. More dance partners willing to dance with those they don't know.
7/11/2009 4:38 PM
Foot surgeries!
7/11/2009 4:22 PM
When it's good, it's really good, but it's frustrating to sit and rarely be asked to dance because I'm new to the Chicago tango
scene or because there are no leaders available. And I am an attractive woman in my twenties, and I dance pretty well.
Often I barely get to dance, and then when I do it's often someone who doesn't know what they're doing, and then it's not
fun and you're stuck with them for the whole tanda. I love it when I really get to do a lot of dancing and with good partners,
but the rest of teh time it's frustrating and depressing.
7/11/2009 3:51 PM
I am experiencing and enjoying other dance forms where there is not the uncertainty between the Argentine cultural
cabeceo/wait for the man to ask, and the US pattern of the women setting themselves up to ask the men for the next tanda.
Too many milongas where there are too few leads, especially leads willing to dance with women over 50.
7/11/2009 3:47 PM
also a foot injury. I found the junior-high-esque social scene to be baffling and tedious, leaving so many dancers (not just
beginners) sitting on the sidelines more often than not at both practicas and milongas. The clique scene amongst
supposedly mature adults is unbelievably childish. I feel like it put even the most positive and energetic beginners on the
defensive. Only the young, slender followers were drawn in, no matter their skill or experience, to be "mentored" by the self-
proclaimed local elite. Get over yourselves, You are not nearly so great as you think! And the intense criticism of beginner
leaders... the learning curve is greater at the beginning for leaders, so how are they to improve without the supportive
embrace of the existing community? Instructors were excellent dancers, but not necessarily good teachers... as in, "...I
actually know HOW I am doing what I am doing and am able to communicate that in various ways to others, able to spot
what a student is doing that interferes with their progress and am able to help them through their specific problems...." etc. I
found the classes to be frustrating.... the blind leading the blind, each left to interpret the teaching, the concepts, according
to our own limited experience, phobias, whatever.
7/11/2009 2:01 PM
i never quit , and i never will
7/11/2009 1:58 PM
The main reason is there are male predators within the community that the community at large puts up with. Truly sad.
7/11/2009 1:34 PM
some physical limitations
7/11/2009 1:34 PM
Used to dance 1-3x/week. Haven't since we had a baby.
7/11/2009 1:00 PM
I haven't "quit" as much as I'm "taking a break". While I could give reasons such as "not enough partners, too cliquish, etc.,
which can all tend to be true, mine are more personal. I was beginning to feel obligated to go to my weekly milongas. It was
beginning to feel routine, stale. When that happens, especially with something I love as much as tango, then I know it's time
to take a break. Circumstances in my life right now have made this a good time for a respite as well. I'm hoping to get back
into it soon; I miss my friends and of course the dancing. But I won't do it just for the sake of saying "I dance tango"; I want
to be in love with tango again!
7/11/2009 12:17 PM

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My fiance and I wanted to just dance with each other and the instructor instisted we switch it up. We felt this dance is too
close for strangers. I don't want to be all rubbing up close on some haggard old woman telling me how I SHOULD dance
and my fiance doesn't want some "Chester molestor" dude rubbining up on her telling her "Can you feel me yet?" We will
stick with Salsa...
7/11/2009 12:05 PM
Lessons to complcated
7/11/2009 11:51 AM
Had hip replacement surgery and never got back into it.
7/11/2009 11:45 AM
As a Martial arts instructor leading with the upper body was against 37 years of training not to lead with the "face" upper
body first instead as whole body using legs to propel and move from the waist. Also I found a majority of the ladies that i
partnered with had little or no patients with myself as a beginner and their exasperation was very apparent
7/11/2009 11:40 AM
Don't have a Tango Dance Partner - but I'm looking for someone.
7/11/2009 11:39 AM
too difficult to attend late night milongas while working full-time
7/11/2009 11:04 AM
fell down in the priority list in terms of how I want to spend my free time
7/11/2009 10:58 AM
Other business interests distracting, life getting in way of tango, problems with my weight and self esteem. Male 320 lbs.
7/11/2009 10:54 AM
Also, I got tired of the same old fashioned scratchy tango music (recorded in the 30-40s) that the DJs were stuck playing.
This became a big divide in the community.
7/11/2009 10:43 AM
I dream about new steps and I tried one step with many others. Finally found one person to really take it further besides
enjoying this step. She liked it so much she kissed me and I returned her kiss. My significant other saw this and that was it. I
found the best person I can dance but that was my last dance. Sad but true.
7/11/2009 10:25 AM
Single malt scotch is great liquor. But, after drinking the same stuff -- with no variation -- for years, it eventually gets old.
Even in Buenos Aires, up to 30% of the music at a milonga in non-traditional or non-tango. Portland is waaaaay too
conservative where music is concerned.
7/11/2009 10:24 AM
Started dating a non-dancer who was very jealous of my dancing with other women.
7/11/2009 9:56 AM
Age elitist
7/11/2009 9:34 AM
besides above, entered relationship with non-tango dancer.
7/11/2009 9:31 AM
Husband had a hard time learning to lead.
7/11/2009 9:26 AM
I actually got pretty good at Tango...I make a pretty decent partner...I try to go early in the evening when folks will be willing
to dance with newer dancers, but when the more experienced people begin to trickle in, of course they want to dance with
each other - makes sense...when I first started attending lessons, practicas and milongas, the more experienced folk were
really gracious and inclusive...lately, they aren't so interested in reaching out to the less-experienced. Those that do, very
often are critiquing on the dance floor. I don't mind a few suggestions, but coaching me so that I can do the fancy things
they seem to wish they were doing with someone else is stressful. While I certainly understand the desire of more
experienced dancers to dance with more experienced partners, it feels really good when people take a few dances to offer
to new folk.
7/11/2009 8:24 AM
It got to be like work
7/11/2009 8:18 AM
same old thing every time
7/11/2009 6:26 AM
As a new leader, it's very frustrating when you get stuck in "limbo" land where advanced dancers don't really want to
practice/dance with you, and you see newer followers accelerate ahead of you over and over again while you remain stuck.
Also general level of tango instruction is terrible and not very geared toward non-dancers (little somatic/rhythm/dance
experience). They either try to teach too much of things you can't remember or bore you to death.
7/11/2009 4:16 AM
backpain and pain in feet

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7/11/2009 3:23 AM
my toes hurt so much I couldn't relax my body
7/11/2009 2:59 AM
To the best of my remembrance, Arthur Murray taught American Tango, not Argentine Tango, in Beginner level group
classes. I left Arthur Murray- Carmichael CA after two years (1997 - 1999) and moved over to independent ballroom dance
studios in Sacramento CA for dancing. Another reason for my leaving Arthur Murray was that they did not teach West Coast
Swing (WCS). I became infatuated with WCS and did not have the time to pursue Tango, either American or Argentine
Tango. WCS took all of my time from 2000- 2002. I like blues music and WCS is a great dance step for WCS.
7/11/2009 2:25 AM
After 13 years Portland's tango community has turned into a place for athletic young ego driven hot shot to show off. They
disrupt the floor What was once the city of the best BA style milongas in the US is now disrupted at every milonga with flying
stilettos, galloping giraffes and large multiple back steps.
7/11/2009 2:08 AM
found that there was little room for change as it was considered not traditional enough and that suggestions of change were
usually dismissed rather rudely. However, the lack of younger dancers and the growing popularity of blues dancing with
younger dancers I think can be attributed to the lack of room for anything that's deemed untraditional.
7/11/2009 2:06 AM
Current issue is primarily the economic downturn and lack of funds to continue dancing. But I found that there was a 'elitist'
attitude among some of the male leads at the dances. I might still be considered 'young' by some at the milonga, but it
appeared that I am not the right "body type" to be asked to dance. It appeared that there were a lot of female followers who
might wear a size 12 or larger were passed over as possible partners, and only those very trim and slim seemed to be
asked to dance a lot. While I do enjoy watching others dance, there is a point that dancing more at a milonga myself would
make it enticing to continue and not find something else to do. Even with being told by many leaders and instructors at
group lessons that I was a good follower and good dancer, someone who could hear the intention in the music and follow
some improvisation well, it was always a bit disappointing to sit out for most of the night.
7/11/2009 1:43 AM
The Portland tango community has, sadly, changed for the worse since I started dancing there. When I began I was
welcomed and always found a partner. Now, the community has become extremely elitist, ageism is a big problem, and the
cliques baffle me. The community will not grow if beginners are not welcomed, and if newcomers feel rejected. Everyone
should be able to dance!
7/11/2009 1:19 AM
Haven't quit yet, but consider it almost weekly/monthly. I really enjoy milonguero style, few leads dance milonguero style.
Too many people people dancing "nuevo" and showing off, endangering others in the milonga.
7/11/2009 1:18 AM
My knees and ankles gave out. I took up other activities to develop more strength and take some pressure off the joints.
Osteoarthritis.
7/11/2009 12:58 AM
There was no community here no men that could dance 7 to 10 woman and the men in Flagstaff just could not dance
7/11/2009 12:44 AM
moved and there really is nothing in Salem Oregon I am lucky if I get to dance 1x a month
7/11/2009 12:29 AM
to many new dancers from ballroom that have no clue and wont learn the basics, inklusiv etiquette
7/11/2009 12:14 AM
inertia. once I need to miss because of "life", it's hard to go back
7/10/2009 11:42 PM
never felt like i fit in. felt like i was always fighting / begging for dances or sitting out.
7/10/2009 11:24 PM
I struggled (and still do) with irrational fears of not being good enough and being rejected. The seriousness and the
unwritten injunction against feedback make tango a hard place to find positive support and encouragement. Many teachers
are very good at telling you what you are doing wrong but very poor at catching you doing something right. For someone
lacking confidence, it's a very intimidating and overly macho world.
7/10/2009 11:20 PM
WORK too much to do too early in the morning; too much travel; too much work; nothing to do with tango and too much to
do with life
7/10/2009 11:12 PM
Local politics caused my wife to refuse to continue. Naturally I joined her and today we golf instead. I miss the passion of
tango very much but not the local politics. Our local society could have been much more than just a stage for a few people
to be large fish in a small pond.
7/10/2009 11:00 PM

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FOOT PAIN
7/10/2009 10:57 PM
saw West Coast Swing-- decided I wanted to learn that and drifted away from Tango
7/10/2009 10:29 PM
My wife's spine deteriorated from a car accident many years earlier-she was confined to a wheel chair & walker for several
months-had 2 fusion surgeries a year apart. Is now healing and we plan on resuming social dancing--no more teaching or
performing.
7/10/2009 10:21 PM
I found Tango to be an extraordinarily vulnerable-feeling experience on many levels. AND I loved it. AND my love for it
made it somehow an even more delicate experience, emotionally, than could be easily shared with a wide variety of
partners I didn't know -- and where trust hadn't been established. More advanced partners who were patient and
encouraging were so helpful -- sometimes angels, really! More advanced (and sometimes even less advanced!) partners
who gave me more feedback than I could take on board, or who were critical or impatient, or made it clear it bored them to
dance with a beginner... Well, that was fine for awhile. I was willing to tough it out for the beauty of the dance... Until one
day, suddenly, I'd just had enough.
7/10/2009 10:18 PM
hurt knee
7/10/2009 10:00 PM
We were down to 6 people when I got too pregnant to dance.
7/10/2009 9:59 PM
The first instructor we had was a Prima-Dona, and still is..we prefer going to Festivals, or take classes from visiting
teachers, in which we have a variety of instructors.
7/10/2009 9:55 PM
I loved it, but my partner went on to other activities and I continued on my own, but it got so personal with people that were
not intended to be personal with. I was having intimate dances with people I did not know - I had not established my dance
community within the Tango community. I just love the dance, and have started back on Tuesday nights at the Century (1
time) and plan on attending more often. There is also a WCS dance accross the hall, so I love haveing such good dance
venue choices.
7/10/2009 9:40 PM
My husband just didn't get into it!
7/10/2009 9:29 PM
broken foot had to be repaired and I tried too early.
7/10/2009 9:11 PM
One of the instuctor's is masoganistic. Few women of my age who are enough fun and good followers.
7/10/2009 9:08 PM
Moved to an ageist community. Found festivals to be attended mostly by younger people (I am over 50) and went from
favored partner to no partner.
7/10/2009 9:05 PM
I liked the music, and liked watching others dance Art Tango, but do not like to dance it myself. One other factor in general, I
am very tired of dancing with partners who weigh 250 pounds or more, some of whom death grip my hands and leave blue
marks. I am a senior and take heart meds. In BR, I also gave up the Mixers for similar reasons. I rather listen to the music,
chat with friends, band members etc. I am burned out in dancing with rookies - I used to dance with all the women that most
of the other men AVOIDED, thus causing my overload because they were not sharing the bad with the good partners.
7/10/2009 8:56 PM
Too few good leads in my age group and few older leads serious about improving their dance. Again the ratio of older
women to available leads.
7/10/2009 8:50 PM
I did not like the attitude of the dancers that look down on other forms of social dance. Argentine dancers need to take a
page out of the ballroom etiquette book. It is a dance - stop being such social snobs. You can be very accomplished at
Argentine AND be good at other dance forms.
7/10/2009 8:45 PM
retired and couldn't afford to pay to sit and NOT get asked to dance
7/10/2009 8:42 PM
I am now 60. I look good for my age, but sometimes I do feel it is a dance I should have started when I was 20.
7/10/2009 8:38 PM
i don't care _so_ much about gender & age ratios for strictly dancing, unless people keep asking me out.
7/10/2009 8:28 PM
I was so excited about Tango that I actually went to BsAs to learn more. While i was there, i heard the inside scoop of how
people judged each others dancing, including themselves. Lets just say that it was disheartening. I felt self-conscious after

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that. It seems that even some advanced dancers are so harsh on themselves (and others) that I wonder if they actually
enjoy the dance anymore.
7/10/2009 8:21 PM
I would love to tango every other night, and would love to take some private lessons to improve my style, but other things
(my job, lack of money, family commitments) keep taking up my time, and private lessons are expensive.
7/10/2009 7:33 PM
When Patricio Touceda and Eva Lucero left town, I was unable to find instructors that would push me toward the limits of
my abilities. Local instructors are pleasant, but repaet the same lessons over and over, and I often found that I was teaching
them steps or variations from my experiences with P & E. The new Argentines were sweet and competent, but not in P &
E's league. I'm really surpised that you do not include "not getting enough dances" as a reason why one would quit tango. I
know numerous older women who left the dance because they would sit around all night watching old turds dance with the
younger women. You may be skirting a major issue here.
7/10/2009 7:20 PM
I can't wear high heels and my legs are not my best feature. I felt too old, too heavy. I went to some Milongas and mostly
didn't get asked to dance. It was too discouraging.
7/10/2009 7:19 PM
I still struggle with the music sometimes
7/10/2009 6:41 PM
Good dancers rarely dance with intermediate level. My private teacher did not even dance with me at milongas. We seemed
to do well in our lessons and he told me I was doing great; however, I guess not good enough for even one set at a milonga.
7/10/2009 6:16 PM
I quit twice. Once because of the lack of community, and secondly because of lack of community and also work schedule.
7/10/2009 6:14 PM
economic-purely. will be back as soon as money situation resolved! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!
7/10/2009 5:35 PM
Found the ability of American Tango dancers mostly unwilling to "feel" the heart -to-heart connection/movement.
7/10/2009 5:34 PM
Too much time to maintain inner circle relationships. Intimacy and Time required at night kept me away from my family.
7/10/2009 5:26 PM
Danced so much I got Morton's Neuroma on my foot, walked in pain for a year
7/10/2009 5:24 PM
too many other obligations very demanding job (demands on my time) when I do try to go out dancing it is hard to break into
the community When people go out regularly or are presently taking classes it is easier to find partners since people are
familiar with you but when you only go out from time to time it is hard to find people to dance with. I don't think this is
exclusive to the tango community it happens with other partner dances as well
7/10/2009 5:14 PM
Also do not want to live in a city again and tango events are not held in the places I will be living in the next few years
(South Dakota, Alaska).
7/10/2009 4:58 PM
I got to be intermediate; met a beginner follower; fell in love; we became one of the best dance couples in our scene (albeit
a small scene); she traveled to Europe without me and danced all over; she got great at tango; she had better dances with
men other than me; she moved to a big city and got begged to help "teach" with hot shot instructors; I'm still intermediate,
shy about snooty chicks; have my best dances with little old ladies; broken heart; victim of Tango.
7/10/2009 4:44 PM
We just got busy.
7/10/2009 4:30 PM
I felt I needed it less than before (when I was a tango addict and danced 4-5 times a week for about 3-4 years).
7/10/2009 4:27 PM
My husband/partner was frustrating with the learning curve and also didn't like to dance with other people. Nor did he like
me to dance with other people, so we were both stilted in our ability to advance our dance.
7/10/2009 4:26 PM
The lice out break in the Portland, OR Tango community grossed us out. And, we took some kind of weird analysis through
tango workshop and discovered the people we were dancing with were creepy.
7/10/2009 4:16 PM
I haven't actually taken many tango classes, I am still hoping to restart Tango but have had a variety of injuries over the last
few years and am only just now able to think of dancing again.
7/10/2009 4:10 PM
I never enjoyed milongas-far too serious (compared to other social dances); everyone too wrapped up in the "drama"
aspect; women incapable of asking men to dance

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7/10/2009 4:06 PM
Hard to make progress with significant other as dance partner because learning to lead is so difficult.
7/10/2009 4:04 PM
I still but not as much as before. I"ve been dancing about 7 years including 3 trips to BsAs. I live in the SF area. There are
some real snobs in this dance. It's like going to high school. There's a tremendous lack of social etiquette with people who
do this dance. Also, I think your dancers in Portland are much better musically than the Bay Area. It's a lot of either flash
here or people who move like corpses.
7/10/2009 4:01 PM
People in tango, in general, especially as compared to other social dances and hobbies that I have participated in, take
themselves too seriously. They may start off with the best of intentions, but over time most become more elitist and
exclusive than they were when they started, many drop any social niceties toward those they aren't interested in dancing
with (passively aggressively avoiding the situation of being asked, rather than being able to clearly say no thank you without
feeling it must be an affront), and many become so caught up in searching out that one special moment or in the never
ending quest for improvement that they forget how to just be IN the moment and to enjoy themselves.
7/10/2009 3:58 PM
I haven't really quit, just taking a hiatus. Advanced dancers rarely ask intermediates to dance. There is little opportunity for
improvement without that. As I checked above, tango community is snobbish.
7/10/2009 3:53 PM
Could not afford the time or money when I began college.
7/10/2009 11:53 AM
i never quit. maybe i shouldn't be completing this survey?
6/23/2009 1:39 AM
At this time (1994) there were no Milongas in our region. So I did not fancy to learn a dance that I could not practice.
6/22/2009 4:38 PM

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Q12 Anything else you’d like to add?


The men are mean. Ageist, sexist asshole mean.
2/16/2018 10:47 AM
How do you teach someone how to feel? Extension: how do you explain the subsequent love of that feeling? Extension
again: How can you describe to someone the pain of the loss of that feeling? Or that love? The sense of loss and dread is
so intense that it's not even worth the effort to describe what is felt, only to bury that sentiment for the sake of oneself and
others. Ironically, that emotional sentiment is what strikes me as being a marvelous emotional resource in leader.
12/21/2016 7:37 AM
Very few in 20-30 ish age group in tango community
10/1/2016 2:43 PM
Love the music. My wife was more impacted than i by the unfriendliness and leads always thinking they needed to teach on
the floor. Not to mention the cattiness of women on women....
8/1/2016 12:00 PM
If there are more women than men in a tango community then it is most likely going to male centered and will cater more to
men. Don't we have enough of that in the world? Wasn't tango invented to honor and respect the company of a woman?
7/30/2016 5:55 PM
Isn't dance supposed to be fun? I danced for about 10 years. I still go now and then, but it is the same conversations, same
living for tango attitude or there is something wrong with you, same old, same old. People want to criticize others, not have
fun and teachers encourage the culture so they can sell more lessons.
7/30/2016 2:27 PM
The arrogance of those folks that do it. I seriously thought of it as a dance for misfits.
7/29/2016 11:47 AM
I worked hard at A T for nearly years, up to four sessions a week and got to lower intermediate level, putting my salsa on
the back burner. I always made a point of dancing with young and old, slim or rounded ladies and made a few friends. Two
of the more amiable teachers moved their venues to an hour's drive away, leaving the technically knowledgeable but less
helpful ones. I found the Tanda system exhausting my library of moves, not so bad with 3 old 3 minute songs, but with
modern tracks of four or more minutes......!? Of the fabled Tango Bliss there was no sign, I suspect it is easier for followers
to go into a trance state. After an evening milonga of melancholy music, frustration and being turned down, I was driving
home, ejecting the Tango CD I had used on the way there to get me in the mood and putting on a salsa CD. I felt the smile
come back to my face and I realised I was missing the fun. Tango was hard work for little reward, poisoning my life. I did bits
and pieces afterwards but found more fun in Salsa and then Lindy Hop. Reading the stories of people with Tango toxicity
like Kapka Kassabova made me realise my escape. The Tango technique has proved useful for my other dancing, like Zouk
Lambada , so it was not a total loss, but I doubt I will return to AT
7/8/2016 11:01 AM
Feeling of being rejected sucks!! I do not want to put up with such disappointment.

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7/5/2016 9:09 PM
I am a young, skilled dancer who doesn't have trouble getting asked to dance, so these aren't sour grapes. I have danced in
Argentina with some of the best teachers there, and received many compliments. I just hate the attitude of seeking
perfection on the dance floor. Why can we not just support each other and relax?!
6/28/2016 3:30 PM
Feels too much like a high school dance - participants seem immature, cliquish.
4/12/2016 2:31 PM
I dance for 12 years, classical technique and salsa. I know I am a good dancer but I am just fed up of never being invited by
good guys who prefer to dance with hot young girls with a poor level and dance quality.
3/23/2016 5:45 AM
I still dance once or twice a year when the urge hits me.
10/7/2015 8:48 PM
More willingness to teach the dramatic tango that attracted me in the first place.
7/26/2015 2:30 PM
boring
6/25/2015 7:34 PM
Sometimes there are just too many old people. There is a lot to learn from old people, but they can be just as stupid as
young people. Old males creep up on the young females and scare them away. Tango is not a valid profession. It is just
something that happens between two people whether skilled or not. Dancing with old ladies with too much make-up and
females who care too much about their stupid shoes is not fun. It is ridiculous. The only thing I am looking for in tango is one
female with a nice disposition and an athletic body. But guess what? That girl probably spends more time worrying about
other things than tango shoes and clothes and communities and probably never even knew about tango before.
4/27/2015 10:38 PM
We need a Tango detox program. It's not normal to be so addictive to tango like a drug. I'm loosing all balance in life. Tango
is becoming my life and I can't let this happen.
1/20/2015 2:53 AM
not really quit tango, but attending way less milongas;
1/2/2015 4:38 PM
I really think the tango journey should be turned around its too much of a me me society. At practicas men are selfish and
so is woman. They never give other people a chance to practice for milongas.
12/25/2014 10:23 AM
I get really turned off when I go to a milonga and have to temporarily stop dancing because is a performance. Also what is
this Newvoul tango crap?
11/17/2014 12:18 PM
there was nothing wrong with tango, but people who are trying to control community are disgusting pigs
10/20/2014 6:42 AM
Followers in PDX seem to have a sort of black list. A poor showing and you're on it. This means of course that your
available number of followers diminishes continuously
9/1/2014 12:27 PM
Life without adequate income, combined with run-away inflation, REALLY, REALLY STINKS!!!
8/7/2014 6:04 PM
These lead dancers need to not give dancing with me as soon as they fall in love with someone else or fall in love with me
and I am not available for a romantic relationship.
8/7/2014 2:23 PM
I think that when I "quit" and took a few years off, trying to come back to the community was odd... I was pretty good, but not
many people knew me anymore and I felt like an outsider. Lots of emotions around that. I just never clicked back in.
8/5/2014 11:42 PM
I miss Tango. It was a big part of my life for 23 years. I have heard other mature women who are host milongas and are
good dancers say that they feel unhappy at the end of the milonga. These women are not being asked to dance by the
people who come to their events. I thought that the men would at least do that for a single dance if not a tanda. I leave
feeling badly about myself. I do not need to dance all night with the best dancers. It is the ambiance, the music, and an
occasional fabulous dance that keeps me going. Without that, I find other things to do. I hope this helps you understand as it
is what I hear from so many of the really good dancers that I know who also rarely go any more. In one community, the men
were so bad about dancing at the milongas only with the prettiest, younger, or best dancers. They danced with the skilled
followers who were at the weekly practices and classes but not in the milonga. The good women dancers eventually left and
now this group say that there is a continual group of beginners who leave after a few years so the level of dance is not
improving. I warned them of this before it happened. I read today about a milonga with only men showing up and my
question was why? This is happening in many states and dance groups in my experience. I hope that it can reclaim the
wonderful ambiance that is an essential part of Tango.

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8/5/2014 1:04 PM
Dancing tango for 12yrs. Never seen a more selfish community than Portland. Dancers and teachers as well. They all
should have a community workshop, taught by their own Alex, about being humble (he seems to be so, never dance with
him myself, but he sure has a very genuine and sincere smile) Portland community should be FORCE to attend other
festivals NEVER ALLOWED TO THERE OWN... Other communities should show them a lesson and ignore them. Many
people has QUIT TANGO thanks to the Portland community. Thank you for doing the social games to introduce dancer to
ea other there btw... It doesn't help much. MOST LEADS ARE FROM PORTLAND WHEN THE MILONGA HAPPENS
8/4/2014 6:46 PM
My interests wax and wane; I seem to still be in the latter stage. But maybe someday???
8/3/2014 10:45 AM
Our community tends to host the same events in the same locations with the same people - year after years. After a while, it
gets boring.
8/3/2014 7:59 AM
I also believe age/attractivenss has a lot to do with acceptance at a milonga. Other than my local (too small) community, I
have only attended Valentango once. I was very excited, enthusiastic, and thrilled with the classes, (working so hard I
ended up with chronic achilles tendonitis which is still far from healed). But I did not find most of the people friendly,
receptive, or approachable.
8/2/2014 6:28 PM
Tango lyrics: Lamento de los "cornudos"
8/2/2014 6:11 PM
Tango definitely has its cliques, but I can see why. It's usually easier and more fun to dance with those select few people
that you know you connect with and dance well with. That said, it's a bit depressing to know that persons X-Y-Z won't ever
return your cabaceos because you aren't on their short-list of dancing partners.
8/2/2014 1:18 PM
5 Years and … Same survey – same Answers after all?!? Why bother? Answers One after another repeat same “Old” news:
women quit due to NOT DANCING at the Milongas!! Not just ones, twice, but attempt after attempt to get a tanda, to create
Joy by the movement of the body, to share the Embrace, to experience Music together with the Partner… And NO! It is Not
getting easier with the years spend in classes, festivals, local gathering, etc. It is quite the opposite: the more I learn the
more I am willing to Give, the more I have to give UP in order to get a dance. I have to give up musicality if I am to dance
with lead who is rhythmic, yet does not listen to melody; give up my balance if someone just pulls and yanks me around the
floor; give up all the technics learned over the years if dancing with person who just moves through the steps without
listening or even noticing where follower is. Hurry up and dance! Or ignore those leads and wait for that “perfect” cabaceo?
Well, that one is never going to happen! The people I would like to Dance with (not get involved, or too personal – just
dance) will newer even look my way – I am not existing in their book. And, of course, for the longest time I thought I don’t
know how to do it or something is “wrong” with me! I find getting good dancing in Argentina is easier than in the “new world”.
And again: How many times spending time on getting ready, buying new shoes (mind you Not the Cheap Stuff), finding that
“Perfect” outfit which Fits- Right –Now- in –That- Particular -Moment , getting makeup done, while listening to tango music
all the way to milonga, and ending up sitting through the Entire Event … And let me ask YOU: How many times that same
scenario happens to the guys? Even if they are just a beginners? Or even if they are not so good of a dancers? Well, you do
have some answers coming from the Leads, but much more from the Followers. And followers who spend their time
(sometimes decades), money (and lots of it), who had patience and dedication to the dance. Community loses big when
women undervalued and gains nothing but cliquishness, emptiness and bitterness. It’s worldwide. But when looking into
your own home community it is one-on-one changes that can make difference. From answers over the years you collected a
great arsenal of ideas that you can implement as a community leader and promoter of The Tango. Use it! Revamp it,
change it any way needed for the time and events: game nights milongas, special tandas where every dance – different
partner, education during classes (part of “Leads Technic” training) and many more. But importantly – be the change, be the
example and more will follow. I personally like mixers you organized, and possibly will return. Some day. PS. I once asked a
well-known Dancer and Teacher with the huge crowd following (both Leads and Follows), how does he come up with the
steps he does? His response was simple, yet complex: he pushes the limits of the movements into unknown. At that
moment it occurred to me, that I could have been as successful as he, if only I was born “in pants”. Because, you see, so
many times I was told by the leaders that my unconventional responses to their trivial leading, puts them in the state of
puzzle and their egos get on the line. In comparing comment from the above teacher after dancing with me: “There never
was a dull moment in the embrace” .
8/1/2014 7:16 PM
I've been to Argentina. I liked it when they played 2-3 different non-tango songs between a couple of tandra's (sp?). Would
be more fun and attract more dancers if there was break with non-tango music so people can do alternative tango or some
other dance form.
8/1/2014 6:20 PM

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I am finding that women if a certain age are quite often passed over even when they dance like an angel. Older men and
younger men seem to gravitate to the younger ladies whether they are beginners or not.
8/1/2014 12:12 PM
I know I'm not alone in my set of circumstances (choices); just wanted to share.
8/1/2014 11:32 AM
I think it would be great if you have a list of dancers who would like to have a partner and help them partner up for a while
for dances, the practica and so on.... it is very difficult for a woman who doesn't have a partner to go to Tango. Thank you
for the giving us the chance to talk ;-)
8/1/2014 11:18 AM
many of the male leaders who dance tango get into this dance because of the male-female gender binary; they are the kind
of men who enjoy women in short skirts and high heels submissive types ( versus maybe hippy 'granola' women). A number
of them don't do any many other physical activities and don't have body knowledge and are there for unpleasant to dance
with. beginner dancers who study yoga or taichi or martial arts are usually more preferable to the 5 + year dancer who
knows a lot of moves. A lot of leaders don't have musicality. Most leads focus on technical aspects of the dance while
neglecting musicality. They are usually not the kind of men who do "solo" dancing at a party. Being able to let loose and
dance solo makes one a better and more enjoyable dance partner. lots of tango leaders think they are awesome dancers
but they started learning tango because they couldn't do other more free dances and they're not the type that dances free
solo. Lots of "expert" tango dancers are not really dancers at all. Yes... I learned a tremendous amount about how to dance
in partnership with another person through tango but the people this dance attracts (in general) are not my kind of people.
8/1/2014 10:48 AM
People need lives outside of tango. They seem to want to make it their identity. This makes them not only terribly boring, but
they are unpleasant to be around. The only milonga I seem to attend anymore begins at 7 pm and is in the middle of the
week. I spent years and a lot of money to learn to dance. it is supposed to be fun, not take over your life.
8/1/2014 9:59 AM
been to argentina--important
8/1/2014 9:39 AM
Too much competition among the women for a dance partner and some of the men are rather picky.
8/1/2014 9:01 AM
Some tango communities are very friendly, others not. Unfortunately I live in an area which is very very elitist and very age
dominated.
7/14/2014 12:28 PM
I used to run Milongas and teach and run a school. I put enormous amounts of energy in and when all the good dancers
moved away, I got disheartened. Bad organisers were supported. I wasn't getting the same joy out of it.
7/7/2014 12:53 AM
I went to a few milongas but some of the teachers can hardly dance.
6/17/2014 9:22 PM
I speak Spanish to undergraduate level.
6/3/2014 1:15 AM
No
2/9/2014 9:43 AM
Nope, that just about wraps it up, thanks.
7/25/2013 12:57 PM
I feel that joining a new dance scene is harder on the leaders. The most interesting role in a dance is that of a follower
because each dance will be very different as soon as you get a different lead whereas a leader will work with what he knows
and how he interprets the music at that given time. A new follower will get by with a competent leader but for a beginner
leader it is more difficult because he pretty much will dance only with other beginners. Is he leading the figure well or is the
follower doing the figure because she was in class also and she knows it's coming. Often in my travels, what determined if I
got an evening of dancing or not, was my first dance in the evening. If I got a first dance, others could see that I could dance
and I'd get introduced to other people and that would lead to more dances. Thanks to the followers who gave me that first
dance.
7/25/2013 6:49 AM
I'm glad you are doing this. It's nice to be asked my opinion. it's funny but I just ended up finding it boring. The point is to be
with others and socialize isn't it? It all seems to be about increasing insecurity and making sure you get picked by the in
crowd. No different than high school. Except when I danced in Edinburgh Scotland it was completely different. Women who
had not been asked to dance were respectfully included because it was noted they had not danced for a while. So
courteous and pleasant to feel included even as a stranger in town. Montreal festivals, Boston and New York just awfully
elitist. Makes one feel like a nobody, why would anybody endure that, eh? So the emotional cost is way too high in the
States for me...ah but Edinburgh, you set the standard...I hope it's still like that.
7/24/2013 10:08 PM

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i still love tango, not the cliques though!
7/24/2013 7:31 PM
It's not for women over 50
2/5/2013 4:50 AM
I have danced in a number of locations, and I find the same syndromw everywhere. Women over 40 who hold their own
axis, walk beautifully, embrace with care are passed over in favor of damsels in distress who need instruction or stabilizing,
but look hot in their dresses. But there also is a segment of women over 40 who dance: those women will dance with
chronic pattern freaks who disregard their partner and musical phrases in order to smash through sequences they
themselves find interesting. Because some women over 40 are so fed up with waiting for a dance with someone who will not
break her neck in a claustraphobic lead for ochos with his head smashed into her space, or sick of waiting for a leader who
has bothered to ask women how much they actually like his hand digging into her back when a rotating torso might have
worked just as well, or tired of waiting for a lewder who understands a rich simple walk in time is superior to hundreds of
poorly executed maneuvers out of time with musical phrasing, ....that woman who is confused about why men at her level,
some even less capable than herself, pass her by, she will turn to hunched over, non collecting, ungrounded, non-cabaceo
respecting, intrusive, ill-attentive, a-musical sweaty pushers, pullers, yankers, and wankers. That particular woman over 40
has paid her admission fee in more ways than one, so she is determined to dance. New York City is the most appalling
breeding ground for these poisons.
2/3/2013 4:13 AM
edxJWf <a data-src="http://trochuerwiqr.com/">trochuerwiqr</a>, [url=http://vakyvyxbbbgq.com/]vakyvyxbbbgq[/url],
[link=http://idajbsupwtvq.com/]idajbsupwtvq[/link], http://mceimpgfsrgm.com/
8/19/2012 7:13 PM
It is really sad to be made to feel like you are back in high school when all you want to do is explore, share, experience this
wonderful dance! If this were only my experience, I'd blame it on my own shortcomings as a dancer and a human being, but
I know a number of women who are competent followers and who quit tango after moving to Portland.
3/3/2012 8:07 PM
Tango isn't kind to women, is also what I want to say here.
10/23/2011 9:25 AM
It seems to me that people do not appreciate or understand the depth or cultural aspects of the dance. Also, I wonder how
many people would quit if they understood Argentine politics; President Kirchner and Peronism, the abandoning of free
markets under the guise of promoting social justice which has resulted in more social injustice, poverty, etc. Of course
separation of politics and art is important but I am amused by how many people dance Argentine Tango and remain
completely ignorant about Argentine culture.
10/18/2011 10:13 AM
I met the love of my life in Tango. I knew that she was the "one" the moment that I saw her sitting at the milonga. It was the
most amazing tanda. I pursued her for months but she dissmissed my advances. One night she finally gave me a chance
and the rest is history. No need to dance with other women or to go out at night. I am happy spending quality time with her
doing other activities.
2/24/2011 10:44 PM
Negatives about in the Seattle Tango community: 1- Mostly cliquish 2- Many snobs 3- Close-mindedness 4- Men are
sometimes unkind to older women and beginner ladies 5- Quite a few older men will only dance with young ladies (which is
telling) 6- Several ladies do not know how to say "no" in a normal way without attitude. 7- Anti-Nuevo in general for both the
music and the dancing 8- Many people do not understand the dance (not to be a snob myself I will explain). This dance is
not about picking people up (so why just dance with younger girls for example or why chat the girl up while you dance?). If
you are a man wanting to get women, go take a salsa class there is a better ratio there or just post an online ad. I have
danced with old ladies and less than beautiful young ladies that really understand the connect amazingly and have the most
wonderful attitude. 9- Many people will stick with one partner for many dances or even the whole night. 10- Guys will not
greet other guys or older ladies, just the young girls (never seen anything like this). 11- Many of the advanced dancers
(more so ladies) dance by themselves while they are supposedly dancing "with" a leader. You need to listen. Absent a lead
you do nothing. Sorry tango requires a strong leader. Yes we sympathize but still it really looks bad when you are kicking up
here and up there and never look at the guy who is clueless. Finally I am sorry if this annoys anyone it is just my personal
opinion and I ask you to reflect. I hope the community gets better. As much as I love this dance and am also crazy about it.
It is just a dance and we need to put it in perspective and chill. I have danced all over the country and abroad and the
northwest (Seattle much more than Portland) is, regrettably, the least friendly.
1/16/2011 4:42 AM
I think the number one reason why people leave is that they realize how difficult tango really is. Walking backwards in high
heels with a buttery grace takes some serious muscle development that can take years, and regardless of how good you
get, high heels will always be uncomfortable and are terrible for your body in the first place, seriously, 5 to 6 hours in heels
would make anyone cranky. Being responsible for four feet in a crowded space and learning how to interpret music will also
usually take years if you’ve never really used your body or studied music. It will take even longer if you undervalue the

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importance of that musical effort. Then there’s all those cultural boundaries surrounding touch that need to be
reconstructed, hello therapy. The number two reason is that the snobbery in the Tango scene abounds and is also blown
out of proportion. It is true that follows are silently competitive and catty ($300 shoes...really?). Leads can be very rude,
aloof, insensitive and demanding. But It’s important to remember that snobbery is usually just a front disguising unseen
insecurities, and it only grows if you buy into it. People with real confidence don’t need to be snobbish, which leads me to
believe that all these “elitist” folks really feel the same way the beginners do. Afraid that they’ll be rejected, usually by
themselves, which is concerning. I have suspected OCD, but I think the truth is, we’re all a bunch of insecure nerds.
Extremely talented, passionate, overly sensitive, over dressed geeks. The third reason is the music. There is so much good
tango music out there and I have been dancing to the same 30 year old songs for 3 years, which isn’t terrible, but nothing
gets me going like an emotional piece I haven’t heard before. Astor Piazzola is amazing, but there have got to be other
modern classical composers. And, Please please please, when you advertise an alternative tango night, PLAY
ALTERNATIVE MUSIC! On that note, can we please have more alternative nights.... I keep coming back to tango because
I’m in it for the rare lead or follow who remembers that the connection and interpretation of the music is the foundation of all
those specific techniques, elaborate moves and fancy shoes, not the aftermath. I want to be reminded that joy is found in
the flow and breath of two talented, passionate people dancing, not that I should probably take more classes. Bless all you
folks who have contributed to my growth as a dancer. I keep returning, usually to just shrivel up at the first negative
comment, or gnarly glance...keep ‘em comin. Maybe I’ll develop thicker skin and some good verbal comebacks. See ya out
there!
9/20/2010 12:54 AM
I am now 63yrs old/female, I've read all the 161 comments from the survery. I've sat around alot also at milongas, I have
been "aged out" and am 6 foot tall in heels, most of the guys are short. The tall men all have partners. Go figure.
6/1/2010 6:14 PM
I haven't quit yet although I regularly contemplate it.
5/11/2010 6:02 PM
I have not completely quit, but I do not attend classes other than before milongas. I go to an occasional milonga, about once
a month or so. I do love it when I go, but I have lost the motivation I once had. I think I got to a certain achievement level
beyond which I felt I was not getting. My balance is a source of frustration to me, though it has never been an issue with my
partners.
9/27/2009 9:14 AM
THE RIDICULOUS INTENSITY OF THE POLITICS (BIGGEST FROG IN THE SMALL POND) WAS AN INCREDIBLE
DETERRANT. THE UNJUSTIFIED ELITISM PRACTISED MADE ME NOT WANT TO KNOW MANY OF THE OTHERS
SOCIALLY, AND WHY WOULD I WANT TO SPEND A GREAT DEAL OF TIME WITH PEOPLE I CAN'T WARM UP TO?
9/5/2009 12:15 PM
I haven't quit, after 10+ years I'm a good social dancer, and love to go to the festivals I consider worthwhile, ie: wonderful
Argentine master teachers, and friendly community. I really love to watch master teachers work with students. And of course
to dance, not nonstop, but to have some nice sets each milonga.
8/24/2009 1:45 PM
The cliques and the attitude that they invented tango is just annoying and unpleasant to be around. Worse than in other
dances.
8/21/2009 10:05 PM
i love tango, but i am a 58 year old woman, who is also tall and not beautiful. too many pretty little things out there. men
always prefer young and pretty even if i dance better
8/18/2009 4:39 PM
I haven't really quit, but realize that I feel most comfortable in a beginner/intermediate class situation rather than in a
milonga or dance.
8/18/2009 11:00 AM
i've been passionate and committed to tango since 2003.. i don't feel as though i've quite.. just waiting.. for what.. i'm not
sure. I feel i've reached a level in my dance and it's difficult to progress unless there are leaders that are as interested and
serious as me in working on their dance. Our community is exclusionary because some instructors here tell their students
NOT to dance with so and so.. because they will "ruin" their dance practice. Many people are excluded, not encouraged to
work with others in a spirit of sharing and community bonding.. or what ever it is we gather and love about this. The reason i
have not been back on the dance floor or to classes is because the last three milongas i had attended.. i did not get one
single dance. I asked two leaders for a dance and they both turned me down. It's very difficult to contiinue going to social
dances and just sit. I seem to have better luck at the national events, but i have some restrictions in doing that as often as i
might like... and plus now.. i've been away for so long ..i'm not sure that i'm even at an intermediate level anymore.
8/1/2009 12:06 PM
Reading through the pages of comments from others made me weep. I have grieved in every sense of the word, the loss of
tango from my life. I invested so much time and energy in learning this beautiful dance only to be repeatedly disappointed at
milongas. I agonized over stopping. It felt like breaking up with a lover. In it's place though, I took up learning Spanish.

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That's my new lifelong passion. It takes as much time but does far less damage to my self-esteem and pocketbook. My
brain will stay young and I will make many new Latin friends who want to learn English and exchange cultural experiences. I
love the new communities I am finding online and in the city in which I live. No more lonely 2 hour drives only to find myself
sitting on the sidelines while the experienced dancers enjoy themselves. I doubt I will return to Tango. There is already too
much sorrow in the world. I prefer to celebrate life and expand my community with the more joyful Latins of the world.
7/31/2009 7:51 AM
If only the tandas were not so long. Yes, they do serve the purpose of allowing you to get a feel for your partner and spend
time with them. But they can be agonizing when things aren't going well, or when you have to wait till the next tanda to get a
dance. I also never felt very comfortable asking the man to dance with me. Clay, thank you for everything you do to keep
tango alive and for showing an interest in what happened to those of us who left. I had the pleasure of a dance with you
after a festival when I came to one of the local milongas. You were very kind and adjusted to my level of dance which made
me feel very comfortable. It really helps when partners are perceptive enough not to dance all over you, but take the time to
see where your skill level is, and dance WITH you, maybe trying a few more advanced moves toward the middle or end of
the tanda. The instruction videos that are popping up on You Tube are a good adjunct to learning. I ended up going to slow
blues dance that allows you to throw in some tango. Much more casual. Still get the joy of close embrace and deep, soulful
music. Thanks!!!
7/30/2009 6:26 PM
I love to dance, and I'd love to return to tango someday. I love the grace, power, communication, and sensuality of tango.
7/30/2009 5:02 PM
I have been involved in other cultural groups as a performer singing and playing an instrument, I have worked in different
kinds of workplace cultures, I have worked for many years with children, and I have to say that out of all of those
experiences the Tucson Tango scene was the most rotten and petty and seething with snobbery. I stayed for seven years
because I was willing to suffer the ugliness of certain influential individuals (a disproportionate number compared to other art
communities I've worked with) to get to the beauty of Tango. But it wore me down. I am at an impasse. I really don't think it's
too much to expect basic respect and kindness and self-control from grown adults. Perhaps the fall of Rome was actually
caused by a bunch of snooty, catty, petty, childish whiners who liked their own ugliness more than the riches of culture and
the warmth of friendship.
7/29/2009 10:37 PM
still too many women so nothing has changed, but at least I don't feel I've made an enormous effort to stay up and get all
dressed up to go sit at the dance when I'd rather be in bed.
7/29/2009 7:38 PM
I suppose we dance to feel good. I lived a good distance from the places where tango was danced but group classes and
practicas gave enough opportunity to learn, and after a couple years of weekly classes I had progressed enough that people
looked forward to dancing with me. Through that time I felt pretty fortunate that women of quite varied ages and skills were
reasonably willing to dance with me as a beginner and in my 50's. Over years, I returned that favor by dancing with other
new dancers. Not surprisingly, after a few years I had quite a few new friends, and willing dance partners. I had a small back
injury that made dancing troublesome and even painful when partners failed to provide similar weight-sharing, or tended to
pull back. Partners who wanted to dance in close embrace before they grasped the concept well enough, or who resisted it,
were the hardest. The feeling of falling and the accompanying pain was too much for me. With a limited amount of time to
dance, a fair number of people who looked forward to dancing with me, and an imperfect back, I began to dance mostly with
those people who made the dance feel safest and comfortable, which made it (me) feel good. Thereafter, I received
feedback from beginners as well as experienced dancers that I was too exclusive in who I danced with, and that I didn't
dance enough with new beginners. I wasn't pleasing many it seemed, and that didn't feel good either. Now I dance various
forms of swing, it doesn't hurt my back, and I'm having fun again. If the main problem of kinder dancers (kinder to my back)
should change, I'd possibly do tango again. But I think the importance to the dance of the tango embrace and balance (that
connection thing), in either close or open embrace, is not emphasized enough for beginners to know how critical it can be to
some dancers. I certainly understand the frustration of dancers left on the sidelines, as I spent time over the years just
watching until I 'got' how the shared embrace enables us to lead a partner to Feel where we are headed and share that
movement together. I have never been to Argentina to learn how/if they teach that part but it might be interesting to learn
that.
7/29/2009 6:19 PM
I think all Clays suggestions are excellent. I particularly encourage the mixer aspect. In Portland, I'd like more venues where
you can take the edge off with a cocktail.
7/29/2009 5:40 PM
Dancers should't behave too snobbly, even if they're good dancers.
7/29/2009 12:34 PM
I love to dance and I"m a very good dancer (and musician) in other forms of dance. Dancing tango makes me a better follow
in my other dances. I'm slim, well kempt, dress nicely, am a good communicator, have a quick smile, have a healthy self-

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esteem, and to not get asked to dance is a real downer. I just need a tango community as a whole who is friendly and
welcoming.
7/29/2009 7:19 AM
In Seattle, the ratio of men to women seems to be the opposite of what I've heard about every other tango community in the
world -- more men than women. For this reason, I don't feel I get my money's worth in a class with rotating partners. Too
often, I'm the guy standing around watching, wasting my money. I can't afford private lessons or a trip to Bs. As. Nor can I
find a partner with complimentary skills and the right personality.
7/29/2009 6:24 AM
Its like anything else, Yoiu have to reallly want it and endure all the trials, setbacks and yes snobbery in order to succeed.
7/28/2009 10:17 PM
I tried a few weeks of beginner lessons a few years ago with my partner of the time, along with a couple of milongas. When
that relationship ended so did tango, as it seemed that my progress would become slower without a partner. Done well,
tango is beautiful. The road to doing it well seems very long. In the years since those lessons I was involved with other
activities that are hard to learn, and when I understood that perseverance really does pay off, I decided to apply that
philosophy to learning tango. So I'm back and going to classes. I go to practicas or milongas when I have someone to go
with. I'll dance with any positive or constructive follow. I don't enjoy dancing with anyone who is overly critical (I appreciate
feedback, good or bad, but there is a limit to the latter) and I don't enjoy dancing with anyone who projects disappointment
or frustration. Being a novice or a beginner is not a crime. Want good leads? We have to help make them. Want good
follows? We have to help make them too. Boo to the people who can't figure that out. And to the many great partners who
put up with mistakes, who can share constructive advice, and who don't take it too seriously: it is you who keep me coming
back. Thank you!
7/28/2009 8:52 PM
How did choreographed movement get mistaken for expertise in dancing AT? We need more teachers from Argentina who
have zero affiliation with tango shows.
7/28/2009 8:42 PM
I think the psychological issues that tango provokes should be addressed in tango classes, along with the techniques. I like
classes better than dances because I get a chance to dance with many different partners and don't have to pursue them. I
miss tango tremendously much but it was becoming more painful than pleasurable to go to dances. To be totally honest, I
do feel I had reached a plateau. I was not improving, had taken all the classes. I did not attend any out-of-town conferences
or travel to Argentina. I felt both would be very challenging for a shy, insecure introvert.
7/28/2009 3:50 AM
i'm heart sick over this.. but it's just too hard to just *show up*
7/26/2009 5:35 PM
For me it's the music. Tango teachers seem to think they are dance historians. Fine, but not for me. I love the disco-y nuevo
tango, but they don't play it until late at night when I'm already gone.
7/22/2009 1:02 PM
My intstructor was amazing, I would love to learn more!
7/22/2009 9:56 AM
In Sacramento I went twice and wanted to dance and I found it hard to have partners why learn if you do not get chance to
dance also my spouse does not dance tango
7/21/2009 7:01 PM
I still find tango fascinating and important to my life!
7/21/2009 3:25 PM
everyone was very nice, and maybe this was just one of those things that didn't work out for me. which is sad, but i am not
sure how it could be fixed.
7/20/2009 11:16 PM
Milongas feel like being in high school with the clics. A lot of instructors are really nasty when you make a mistake. Too few
men and too many women. There is a big gap between beginner and intermediate level classes although I took privates. I
love the dance,
7/20/2009 9:18 PM
Well Clay, I don't think this is what you had in mind by asking people why they quit coming to tango. I've read a lot of
negative responses (the number of negatives have way passed the positive) about the attitude of the tango people and the
community. It doesn't seem that there are very many who is very happy with the Tango community. maybe now that you
have heard it all, you can try to light a fire under everybody (especially the dancers who think are the only ones and stick to
their own) and change the community and make it a more friendly and more inviting event and see what happens. You
"dancers" have had it your way until now, but I think change may be good for the community and it actually may help it grow
and bring in new faces instead of seeing the same people who only dance with you if you are pretty or if you are a great, not
only good, but if you are a great dancer. Good luck Caly and thank you for asking these questions. Maybe some day I'll
come back. I miss it a lot!!!!!!!!!!!

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7/20/2009 10:27 AM
A single male signing up for a tango class is taking a big risk because the dance requires 2. Its still a risk worth taking
because its an adventure. I am just not good at finding partners so if I ever find anyone to dance with I will consider myself
very lucky. But don't think I would find them in the tango community because they won't dance with you until you are good,
and you won't get good without dancing it. Its kind of a closed system. If you are a couple you should DEFINITELY get into
tango!
7/19/2009 1:01 PM
coming to tango as a women over 50 without a partner, I felt a competative vibe that was very daunting. there are couples
that do not dance with other people reducing the opportunities for dancing. The biggest challenge has been, no one to
practice with.
7/19/2009 12:21 AM
When everyone is having these incredible "Tango Moments" which you can't even comprehend, you feel like you'll never get
it and meanwhile while you try you're just faking it Where's the fun in that?
7/18/2009 10:15 PM
I miss Argentine Tango, and hope someday to return to it!
7/18/2009 12:11 PM
Play other tango music that is beautiful befsides dirges and merry go round music ..good god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7/18/2009 5:15 AM
difficulty with posture coming from a different dance background I felt that to continue with the group, i would need to
dedicate 3+ days a week to tango. I don't have time for that. Many members of the group were that dedicated and
advancing and I grew frustrated with feeling behind the rest of the clique
7/17/2009 11:58 PM
The dance is beautiful, mentally challenging and leaves me feeling good in an overall sense. The advanced members and
long time members generally are hard to get to know. The social organization is hard to penetrate and the more advanced
dancers feel free to criticize and not dance down to the level of the partner, making them feel inadequate and frustrated.
There are manners that go along with dancing and being polite is one that stands out.
7/17/2009 2:48 PM
Am always sad when someone drops the dance and the community shrinks. I get extremely frustrated with the judgements
made by dancers/instructors which divide the shrinking community into smaller independent groups.
7/17/2009 1:20 PM
I have not decided to quit as yet but find it difficult to be motivated to go to local dances.
7/17/2009 12:11 PM
I love the dance and want to continue with it. I don't have a partner, and I find the tango community closed and snooty,
which makes it difficult to have fun at a milonga.
7/16/2009 9:20 PM
Tango people are smart and educated, but too serious and also too provincial in that most of them only want to dance
Tango
7/16/2009 4:26 PM
I hope someone at Tango Society of Minnesota will take this to heart. I love Argentine Tango, but I choose not to dance it
because of all the unpleasantness in the local club.
7/16/2009 4:24 PM
Absolutely enjoyed a beginner lesson by Argentine dancers in St. Paul (Ordway) once -- it seemed a different way to teach
it, they had beginners dancing decently within one hour. I like that type of teaching, whatever they did, it worked.
7/16/2009 11:00 AM
I visited NY. Had great time at the outdoor Milongas. Visited Edinburgh, Very stuffy and the scotish are pretty laid back but
the "President" was cold as ice.
7/16/2009 10:14 AM
I know when you first start are you aren't very good. But how are we supposed to get better if we don't get asked to dance? I
felt like I was in Jr. High again. Ugh!
7/15/2009 3:38 PM
When you take responsibility for developing a dance community and attend the milongas as the teacher, every one is aware
of you as you stand on the perimeter and stare at the floor. If you smile it helps. If you dance with beginners, it helps. It is a
business. Perhaps the teachers could wait until the last 45 minutes to only dance with the pretty young good dancers.
7/15/2009 11:10 AM
the year away was killing me. no more jealous boyfriends!
7/15/2009 9:30 AM
I miss tango every day. If I hadn't moved I would still be dancing. My new town doesn't have a welcoming tango community.
The times I have attended milongas no one but my spouse would dance with me. Now that he doesn't dance I have no
partner; it's just too hard to start over from scratch.

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7/15/2009 1:05 AM
This is a great survey!
7/14/2009 9:03 PM
Followers, this is why I don't ask you to dance: I've been working hard at tango for three years and more than anything I
want to be a clear lead. But I have a long way to go. Sometimes I find myself dancing with a good dancer and can clearly
feel that she regrets having said yes to a "beginner". I lose confidence and get worse. I wish there was some code so that
would tell me you don't mind dancing with a beginner. If I knew that about you, I'd ask you to dance regardless of your age,
looks or dancing ability.
7/14/2009 6:28 PM
I haven't left tango, but I'm really frustrated. I'm not in this for a social life, I'm in this for the dance. I want to excel at it! Too
few men feel the same way. They are looking for romance mostly which is really annoying.
7/14/2009 3:45 PM
The opportunity to practice tango here in Fresno is very limited. There needs to be more places and times for practice, more
milongas and guest professional dance Instructors of international experience.
7/14/2009 3:41 PM
The Tango Blues Alfredo Escalero Friday night I was walking down Foster Street And passing an open door music rolled
out to the street. a mysterious tango beat. Playing the bandeon was a man tall and thin The harmonica player was as sharp
as a pin the violinist was as beautiful as sin. All playing the night away I walked in and a lovely silver haired woman gave me
some magical black suede shoes I danced all night until I heard the birds starting to sing Then when the music stopped I
discovered the tango blues. That morning to work I crept But hidden below the desk my shoes they danced that petitero
step I had the tango blues. After dinner that night my black suede shoes Were put on again and I danced the night With
lovely women making them smile With my graceful moves Dancing all night to avoid the tango blues.
7/14/2009 2:35 PM
Don't feel that I have quit - more likely that I am taking a breather until my health returns.
7/14/2009 1:12 PM
Why can't people just have fun? I may not be the best dancer, but I am NOT the worst and I take lessons to improve. I am
just sick of the rude immature behaviour. Some people have seen me at milongas for at least a coupel of years, have
danced with me at workshops, not had a problem we danced well together and yet still will not ask me to dance at a
milonga.
7/14/2009 12:17 PM
Finding a partner to learn with was very, very difficult. I found the Tango community to be extremely egotistical, but then,
pretty much all dance communities are 'dance snobs'. That seems to be the term most often used in these parts. If one is
going to learn couple's dancing, you should know gooing in you're going to have to 'hold your nose' for quite a while. I knew
this, but not finding someone to learn with and the distances were the main thing.
7/14/2009 8:27 AM
I have limited time in my life, and when I have a free night, I have to choose whether to see my boyfriend or go dancing--
sometimes its a very hard choice. If he were a dancer, I'd definitely be going a lot more often. I think this is a very common
problem. When I do get out to dance, I am often frustrated by sitting on the sidelines and by the cliquishness. Like many
others, I wish that those in the"in" crowd would open up their circle a little bit to those who are less than perfect looking or
less than hot-shot dancers. I've been laughed at and yelled at for missing steps. What kind of a "community" is that?
7/14/2009 1:26 AM
Thanks for the surveys.
7/13/2009 7:58 PM
I love the Argentine tango. I am a quick learner at most of the dances I have tried, including Argentine tango but found the
community snobbish. Many tango dancers were not rounded out in other areas of dance which made them even more of an
exclusive group. It was either "tango or don't bother dancing with me". If the community would have been more open and
accepting of beginners I would still be dancing in this arena. Instead I have been dancing in a more versatile and friendly
environment that includes all styles of dancing. "have rhythm, can follow"
7/13/2009 5:47 PM
It is lots of fun. I enjoyed the passion and sensuality of the dance and the freedom of expression.
7/13/2009 5:38 PM
I have returned to tango since my jealous sweetheart is no longer mine.
7/13/2009 1:27 PM
Interesting survey. I'm still on your mailing list and occasionally think about coming back (since I put >5 years into dancing
several x per week), but the whole milonga/practica scene is too cliquish and it just doesn't seem fun anymore.
7/13/2009 12:37 PM
My kids know and love the music and want to learn to dance and don't understand why there aren't classes for kids. :)
7/13/2009 12:03 PM

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The schedule was the main thing AND I don't like the high performance aspect. Seems all the bright, competent people with
high standards go to tango. I like those people in general, and consider myself one of them. Yet I prefer to dance to relax
and find my big challenges elsewhere. Close embrace is sometimes comforatable and sometimes not, depending on the
lead. It would be nice if I had a choice, w/out offending anyone.
7/13/2009 10:58 AM
Argentine Tango is awesome!
7/13/2009 12:59 AM
Thank you for taking the time and the effort to conduct this survey!
7/12/2009 10:20 PM
I actually really enjoy the dance and the music, but I found the experience frustrating.
7/12/2009 10:05 PM
If you are over 50 and the best dancer in the universe----it wouldn't be good enough in the US
7/12/2009 10:00 PM
The traditional music is awfully tiresome, repetitive, and non-inspiring. More alternative music venues would help. It would
also be great if someone designed a quality tango shoe--a shoe that would be designed as much for support and comfort
instead of just for sex appeal.
7/12/2009 8:41 PM
need more opened minded people to the appreciate open embrace and that close embrace in not the only way to Tango
7/12/2009 7:19 PM
There are people in each community, typically, who actually drive away potential dancers. For our group, there is a
particularly dedicated man who is incredibly moody, gets frustrated easily, and places blame for any lack of success in
particular dances on the beginners/developing dancers. He hurts their feelings, they never come back. Teachers can also
hurt the feelings of students. As we know, tango is very broad and complicated, and students will grab onto
ideas/techniques and stick with them as "the way." It can be confusing and painful when the egos of teachers that want to
impart their version of tango clash with students' egos, who may be experiencing "conflicting" messages. Not every teacher
or every student handle these situations well.
7/12/2009 1:38 PM
The clique-ishness and unwelcoming atmosphere is not limited to women of a certain age, although it is worse for them. My
daughter, who founded the student tango community in a city that shall remain nameless, struggled with the same situation.
She is a gorgeous young woman and a talented dancer for whom tango has been ruined by politics and snottiness. I also
notice, after looking at other comments, that clique-ishness is a very big frustration for many people -- and that many other
commenters identify the Portland scene as a particular offender. This is in part an artifact of the survey's being designed by
a promoter of the Oregon tango scene no doubt. But I hope that it is also something that the Portland tango
community/communities might truly pay attention to. I still love tango -- why else would I be completing this survey -- and
wish I could find a way to go back that did not involve steeling myself every time I go to a milonga to the prospect of sitting
and watching for most of the night.
7/12/2009 12:30 PM
It was a good ten years and I got a lot from it. It added to my life, but things change.
7/12/2009 11:44 AM
Appreciate you asking. I miss tango and would love to love it again.
7/12/2009 11:40 AM
I have returned, but in a more limited role
7/12/2009 10:16 AM
What I'm seeing is that it takes conscious effort to keep a fairly healthy esprit de corps in the tango community. Experienced
people should know that your interactions with everyone count. I guess it's a very clear lesson in human relations, and in
treating others as you would have them treat you. I've seen extraordinarily generous and extraordinarily crude and selfish
behavior -- understandable, as tango lights up so many yearnings in those who take to it.
7/12/2009 8:18 AM
Tango is a difficult dance to master if you don't have the time, money and a partner to work with.
7/11/2009 11:02 PM
As women get older they get fewer partners -- even if they are good/great dancers. The age range question is critical to your
survey. Ask this somehow: Are people dancing tango for possible sexual connection or are they dancing tango for the joy of
dancing, or a combination of both -- say on a range of 1 to 10? A number of my women friends dance merely for the joy of it.
7/11/2009 10:37 PM
Argentine tango dancers too parochial...they don't seem willing to learn any other dances and to have events that mix tango
and other dances. I find all-tango-all-the-time a crashing bore.
7/11/2009 10:07 PM
I have not yet quit but am planning to next month for a minimum of two months. Then we'll see. I personally relished the
challenge and difficulty of tango, thinking that the rewards would be worth it, and was slow to realize that there are seriously

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diminishing returns to the ongoing effort, at least for women who are very good but have no desire to become professional. I
am speaking for many many women over thirty, or who have more experience and are better dancers. Too many guys don't
want equals, they want compliant, easy, easily impressed dolls to dance with. There is no point putting in the work, since it
makes no difference in getting dances, in fact makes it harder, because now you are not just passively going along with the
guy, but have input and ideas and expect to be a full participant. Maybe 10% of guys dancing tango appreciate that, and
that is not a high enough figure. If that were to change, sure, I'd be back to tango full time and spending money, time and so
on, because those sweet dances are the top of the world. But there are just too many boring, passionless, or plain
uncomfortable dances between the good ones.
7/11/2009 8:44 PM
I consider myself a decent dancer (I get compliments on my dancing) and not unattractive, yet I spend most of my time
alone, standing against the wall. What does it take to get included? That's why I rarely go dancing anymore. My significant
other took a few lessons, and was almost immediately put off by the "snobbery", as he put it. Sigh.
7/11/2009 8:24 PM
The white folk eventually will make it look like ballroom dancing (North American style tango) something that is for fun and it
is not suppose to be as restricted. It loses its passion. Must say tho that the planing is great but with only for one race. It
feels like swing dancing is today.
7/11/2009 7:16 PM
Teach the community to be less clickish. Talk about it in the classes, and workshops. Have special Tandas where you
dance with partners that you have never danced with.
7/11/2009 5:20 PM
I miss tango..still love the dance but have substituted with more ballroom, and salsa which have more classes available to
accommodate my early schedule.
7/11/2009 4:38 PM
It seems like because people always get to choose who they dance with during the dance (unlike the mini-lesson at the
beginning) people only dance with people they already know--thus the cliquish nature of the event. If there were times
during the night where more organized dances were conducted, where people were paired up randomly (and switched
partners every song), it would enable more shy people to find potential new dance partners. Those people who felt they
didn't want to get stuck with novices wouldn't have to dance that set and could take a break.
7/11/2009 4:19 PM
Tango is the only dance form I have a tortured relationship with. If I go out for an evening of salsa dancing or swing, I can go
there knowing nobody and I will still get to dance the night away and just have pure fun. With tango I might go a whole
evening just hoping for that one good dance that will make it worthwhile to have come out. There's a much lower return on
the time and energy I invest in tango than with other dances.
7/11/2009 3:51 PM
I always heard a lot about growing the community, however, the most experienced dancers seemed more intent on shutting
it down by only dancing with each other. While I completely understand how great it is to play with others at your same high
level.... It would truly be a GROWING community if each teacher and experienced dancer made a commitment to dancing a
certain percentage of their dancing time (practicas and milongas) with beginners. doesn't have to be a huge amount,
especially if most are doing this... and if every dancer in general, made it a point to dance with someone they have never
danced with before, on a frequent basis. I believe the word "social" is the key word in the phrase "social dance"....?
7/11/2009 2:01 PM
peoples quit, for several reasons, but ,wath hapen is that moust of them, take lesons from, so call teachers, that them selfs
dance tango just por a little time , and consither, profetional of tango, wen they don't even know, wath are de principals
codits of been a dancer, much less,to be agood dancer they selfs,charge monney, , on work shops, privated classes, etc,
wath peoples dont undestand, is ,that before, spend monney, wilth teachers who they dont know, trhey supous, to check
first, for the real and authentics, tango profetional teacher,well nex time if for you , Clay,this is interesting,iwill write mor , and
more abouth this isues, Alberto de Llano (el trompo) soytanguero@aol.com. please check. pulpo's
tangoweek.com.ar............click on intructors for info,on nex tango bs.as. festival on november 21-28........un tanguero abrazo
a todos,
7/11/2009 1:58 PM
i left tango 2-3 years ago after being in love with the dance for at least 6 years. perhaps the scene in my community has
changed since then and, if so, i may give it another try. when i called it quits, however, the leaders who had achieved a skill
level above beginner or advanced beginner were extremely selective when it came to chosing partners at the milongas.
they, quite naturally, tended to gravitate towards the younger, more attractive followers leaving the rest of us to sit on the
sidelines. taking endless classes can be enjoyable and rewarding, but having opportunities to actually dance in a social
setting with multiple partners is one of the best ways to learn and have fun.
7/11/2009 1:34 PM
These are my "why I almost quit" answers. I didn't quit, but it was close and I can see why people do quit. In Phoenix I was
welcomed into lessons, but totally ignored at milongas. I find people very critical of style of dance, dance etiquette, etc. How

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is a new dancer supposed to know these things?? I don’t want to put down only Phoenix in this, because in my travels I
have found the same thing. I would be totally ignored at one milonga, but at the next one (sometimes in the same city) made
to feel welcome and included. It may have been the good experiences in other cities that kept me going. Now after 6+ years
of Tango in Phoenix, I try to always welcome new faces, dance with beginners and strive to treat people the way I wish I
had been treated. I have made many friends, but there are will members of the Tango community who continue to ignore
me…. How many years does it take to get into their accepted class of dancers, I wonder???
7/11/2009 1:02 PM
Does anyone else have infants/toddlers who would be interested in cooperative childcare during the milongas? Each of us
could take a 1/2 hour shift in a nearby room, or something?
7/11/2009 1:00 PM
I'll be back if I find someone who is willing to practice at least once a week. it is hard to spend all this money to go to classes
including private lessons and not have someone to practice with, then you forget all the steps that was given to you in the
classes . I would like to suggest that first the teachers to make an effort to dance with new or newer ones who don't dance
very well but keep showing up. that should say something that the person keeps coming back. another suggestion would be
that the teachers make sure that each follower gets to dance in the practicas and the milongas. otherwise, you'll have me,
who loves to dance and wants to go higher and higher with the dance currier but quits and stays home feeling sad and
discoraged . thanks for asking all these questions.
7/11/2009 12:02 PM
It may be helpful to beginners to understand that Tango is different for the follower. It took me a while to understand why I
wasn't doing well because I usually can follow any dance partner. Also creating opportunities for people who are beginners
to dance would be encouraging to beginners. Some Practicas are really for people who are advanced tango dancers.We
had dances in Modesto where the better dancers would dance with the beginners.
7/11/2009 11:45 AM
Thanks for all the info you provde with your email - I appreciate it.
7/11/2009 11:39 AM
Yep. We call ourselves a community. We, thankfully, are not. We are actually several communities and a number of these
are independents from the cliques of self appointed "experts."
7/11/2009 10:24 AM
I invited a friend who is a great ballroom dancer to a tango class. He had attended a tango festival, and thought that people
did not seem happy dancing tango. In interesting observation.
7/11/2009 10:10 AM
being an older woman (mid 50s) and heavier is really hard in the tango community.
7/11/2009 10:08 AM
Started out being fun. But with harder steps my husband had a hard time learning to lead and became so frustrated he just
did not want to dance in public until he was "good". This never happened because he just wanted to practice at home. No
other practice place where we live.
7/11/2009 9:26 AM
Although I have found the structure of Portland's Tango scene to be very welcoming (huge number of practicas and
milongas) and several of its teachers to be wonderful, I have found that in the huge growth of the local community, the
inclusivity and welcome I first experienced has dissipated. There are a lot of new dancers who are very skilled and seem to
want to spend more time with more flashy dance. I admire those steps but am personally more fond of the intimate
connection and focus of a simpler tango (of course that connection can be found in the flashier steps too...but the people
who practice that style don't seem to value it as much) I do still love the dance very, very much and recommend it to many
of the people in my life...
7/11/2009 8:24 AM
My "quitting" came after dancing for 9 years.
7/11/2009 8:18 AM
there's not much you can do to make it more inclusive for someone who is just happy with the level they have achieved and
aren't expecting more. most people who are 'rabid' tango dancers just don't understand or accept that and tend to shun you
unless you are just like them.
7/11/2009 6:26 AM
The way tango is taught, especially to leaders, should re-examined for its effectiveness. Whereas, most new followers can
find leaders who will practice/dance with you, for guys, it's a very discouraging process.
7/11/2009 4:16 AM
I fell in love with Argentine Tango in 2001 after listening to Tango Lorca and seeing Korey's students in KC dance. I used to
drive an hour to attend classes, milongas, and workshops. A year later I was in agony because I didn't have a dance partner
or a "love of my life" who wanted to learn how. A job transfer lead me to Chicago. I was afraid of the city and depressed
enough with tango, that I didn't dance for six months. On my 40th birthday I couldn't take it anymore. So I seized the
moment and went back. I didn't realize I was an addict but, before I knew it, I had identified who the best dancers were and

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studied with their instructors. I was dancing 5-7 nights a week (twice on Saturday), an average of four hour each time. I went
from a size 12 to a size 6! Seems like reason enough to stay eh? Well, although I made wonderful friends, impressed Pablo
from Brazil with my milonga (and condombe), and had arsenal or shoes and dresses to give me the reputation of a "tango
goddess", I never made the lasting heart connection I need in order to stay with it. I left Chicago in 2003. And I've gone to
less than five milongas since. So like Cinderella, I sit at home in my own little room, in my own little chair, with my glass
slippers waiting for "Prince Charming" to sweep me off to a milonga. Thanks for asking. All the best to you and yours! Cheri
amusewithpen@yahoo.com
7/11/2009 2:51 AM
My main focus, WCS, demands a lot of time due to its many patterns or variations. I also dance Hustle, Cha Cha, and Night
Club Two Step, so I don't think that I have the time for Tango. I spend 6 hours per week on the dance floor at various
ballroom dance studios in the Sacramento CA area, so I lack the time for learning another dance step, especially one as
demanding as Argentine Tango.
7/11/2009 2:25 AM
Our reasons for losing our enthusiasm for tango is not because we don't love the dance. We have friends in the community
but many of them have left. We love the dance but it is no longer being practiced in Portland Oregon. The sense of flow
when all the dancers take small intricate steps moving as one on a tight floor has been more than lost it has never been
truly felt by some of the young Portland instructors in-spite of some of them having spent time in BA. It only take 5 or 6
couples of self absorbed show off to disturb the flow for everyone. Truly Sad!!!
7/11/2009 2:08 AM
I've been in and out of tango, currently in and enjoying it, but there were a few different barriers that came together. There
are some instructors in town who are demotivating because of the way they express themselves. Fortunately they're mostly
overshadowed by the wonderful ones we have. That was part of the break in my learning; plus having two of my favorites
stop teaching for several months at the same time and getting respiratory bugs that people brought to classes or milongas
(people shouldn't come to a social dance if they're even remotely under the weather). And in general, tango's hard for a
leader to break into--between the steep learning curve for leading and the cliquishness of the community. Everyone in
Portland (experienced leads and follows, and hosts, instructors) needs to do their part to make the tango community open
and welcoming to newcomers. Today, some are doing that and many aren't.
7/11/2009 1:31 AM
I still dance Argentine tango-- passionately-- with my significant other, and with the leaders I am familiar with from earlier,
friendlier times. But I feel frustrated at milongas, sitting with other follows (most of us of a certain age) who are basically
ignored by the (mostly younger) dancers. I assure you, it is not simply a matter of skill-- many of the women with whom I sit
are outstanding dancers with years of experience. Yes, tango is a harsh mistress, but that does not excuse bad behavior.
7/11/2009 1:19 AM
My experience in Tango is that I love the dance, but the people that dance look as if they aren't enjoying it at all. They are
too serious and don't appear to have fun doing it.
7/11/2009 1:09 AM
I have not quit yet. and I may never. But the high school like socialization is really tough to swallow. I have to remind myslef
often when im out how much iilove the dance and not to be too discouraged by the cliques and the lack of many good
tandas. For a community who claims it wants to grow , the really good dancers dont act that way. teachers are great at
teaching and personable in lessons but when they get to milongas its the same thing they only dance with each other, and
the other very experienced people. thats not much of a welcoming commity. I am tired and frustrated with it all. but i love
tango, so for now i will press on in hopes one day i'll be "good enough: for these people.
7/11/2009 1:02 AM
Good stuff Clay. I have not quit. I have quit going to the same milonga's that have six people at them. I still take a regular
weekly lesson. If at dinner with some of the people whom I enjoy being around and the right song or songs come around,
we will dance right there... The only thing that brings a crowd out here is live music. Nothing else does. I personaly think we
should scale our milonga's way back and have fewer better quality ones. But I understand there are people who have put
their necks out on the chopping block for us to have a place to dance and they need the income of weekly dancing. Not sure
it really works though.
7/11/2009 12:45 AM
My feet stared to hurt tryed sonic relief machine but they still hurt after a good night of dancing or workshop that has caused
a sense of limitaion
7/11/2009 12:44 AM
Go to Buenos Aires and watch the dance floor whre turists are the minority.
7/11/2009 12:14 AM
tango feels like an all or nothing activity. either you go 3+ nights a week or don't bother. that's cool, I can get down with that.
I am deeply entrenched in another community right now. I imagine I will find my way back.
7/10/2009 11:24 PM

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I do truly love tango and, oddly, am told by a couple of women who are also friends that I dance very and am a pleasure to
dance with. Still I am afraid. Go figure. I am (or was) part of the Portland Tango community.
7/10/2009 11:20 PM
I'm coming back whatever but it would sure be nice to find someone to practice with regularly to make it even better.
7/10/2009 11:12 PM
I have managed nonprofit associations for 35 years but observe that local tango societies do not observe the principles that
would build and better fund their organizations. The problem, of course, is that so-called leaders know little about building
and funding organizations but simply wish to be the principals. As a result turnover is rampant, funding is scarce, and it is all
justified by a love of a "bohemian lifestyle".
7/10/2009 11:00 PM
LACK OF COMFORTABLE SHOES CONTRIBUTES TO PAIN WHEN DANCING. WE NEED ACCESS TO MORE DECENT
SHOES!
7/10/2009 10:57 PM
I cannot stress too strongly the rudeness and overbearing nature of Tango follows, particularly middle-aged ones. They
really need to be taught that criticism and lessons on the social dance floor is not appreciated. We know better in swing.
7/10/2009 10:39 PM
My wife has mild dementia-which makes doing ballroom dances with memorized steps very difficult. The marvelous thing
about tango is that the follower is told over and over-"don't think-follow." She has always done that very well. Gustavo
Naviera has complimented her on the occasions when she danced with him at milongas in BA. It sure gives a new level of
importance and concentration on leading technique for me.
7/10/2009 10:21 PM
I wonder if it would help if a Tango community facilitated matching up practice partners. I felt I really needed to PRACTICE
this dance, more than I could at a 1-2x/week class or practica, but was afraid to reach out and burden someone with my
beginning, hesitant, mistake-making self! :-) However, I was a sincere student, and would have been sincere in showing up
and practicing had I had a respectful, patient, and mutually safe-feeling practice relationship.
7/10/2009 10:18 PM
I loved Tango - the music, the dance. However, I didn't feel very comfortable in the group as I was a beginner and didn't
seem to be making any progress at all. Not much opportunity to dance.
7/10/2009 10:00 PM
We love Argentine Tango. But when in a class, and we are exchanging partners, women who picked up the steps quickly
were rude, and by-passed my husband and refused to dance with him. I am a veteran public school music teacher, a
performing educator. I know how to write and implement a sequential curriculum that builds a performance. I also
understand "constructivist teaching." watching where the student is in their education, and building from that point onward.
Like all for-profit performing arts businesses, there are factions...it is the factions that tear up any community...the
community must work on its commitment to collaborate.
7/10/2009 9:55 PM
Quality of dance instruction by locals is low.Need to relearn when I go to festivals. Am ahead of all men. Regarding partner
ratio - have experienced jealousy from women whose husbands like to dance with me. Have quit for periods because of
that.
7/10/2009 9:19 PM
Thanks for the questions.
7/10/2009 9:11 PM
I like you Clay, your a good guy. I can see and feel you want the community to thrive and be happy.
7/10/2009 9:08 PM
I danced for over ten years all over this country, loved it and was a favored partner wherever I went. After being forced to
leave the community to tend to orthopedic issues, I returned to find the US community completely changed. A style I do not
like was in vogue, the community I currently live in is extremely youthful, and Tango is a fickle mistress. I found I no longer
enjoyed the experience, but would gladly go back if I thought I would find the community I left behind.
7/10/2009 9:05 PM
I love to watch Art Tango dancers for awhile, but I have limits. I like it when they are natural vs. the phoney plastic look ..... I
like Banjo music but after 30 minutes, I need some thing different. I prefer the variety of BR dance more than the one-ness
of those who only do, or only now do, Art Tango.
7/10/2009 8:56 PM
After all of those hours of lessons, we never danced a whole dance. We were never talked through a whole dance never
mind five or ten dances. So, the lessons were all disjointed. We never learned how to implement what we learned.
7/10/2009 8:55 PM
I hate the thought of giving up tango but after spending $7 (the cost keeps going up, everyone wants to make some money.
Maybe if they dropped the price they would have more attendees and make up the difference.) and sitting out most of a
milonga with all the other follows I think, why bother? I have been learning to lead and it's fun but a different experience.

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7/10/2009 8:50 PM
I am glad someone is asking this question of why people leave. There are good dancers everywhere. The "community" has
lost some good people. Let dancers morph the music and create new and experiment ... let the dance grow. I did not like
the attitude of the dancers that look down on other forms of social dance. Argentine dancers need to take a page out of the
ballroom etiquette book. It is a dance - stop being such social snobs. You can be very accomplished at Argentine AND be
good at other dance forms. It is a contact sport - stop being so defensive/contentious/uncomfortable - lots of other dances
get close and IT IS JUST DANCING. Stop looking to the "community" to fix your self esteem.
7/10/2009 8:45 PM
It's a very wide line between beginners and intermediate that takes quite a lot of time to cross. More so than other dance
rhythms. A follower needs someone who is equal to their ability or above it to be able to enjoy tango. Too many beginning
leaders and too few intermediate and above leaders to go around makes for a very dull social dance (milonga) and isn't that
the goal, to have fun at a Milonga?
7/10/2009 8:42 PM
Thank you for taking the time to have a look at this; there are many women who get discouraged because os the lack of
leads, or someone that is committed to practice with you.I am hoping to return to the Dance that I love one day!!
7/10/2009 8:38 PM
I really miss the dance it was my love but after a while i felt alone so I quit
7/10/2009 8:32 PM
i wish where i lived was more tolerant of same gender dancing, whether for practical or dating reasons.
7/10/2009 8:28 PM
it's brutal
7/10/2009 8:21 PM
I would like to see a better student-organized tango group at the University of Washington.
7/10/2009 8:11 PM
I love tango as a dance. Even though I do miss the many friends I have from tango, I really don't miss the snotty tango vibe
at all. Thank you for creating this survey.
7/10/2009 7:34 PM
I did have one experience where someone tried to adjust my following, I started crying, and I didn't dance for three months.
I'm not sure if he knew I was crying or not, and he didn't criticize me in a mean way--it was a lesson situation and it was
appropriate, I was trying to learn to follow better, but it was so intimate because he was asking me to give him more
connection, and I felt like I was already falling forward, and this just brought up emotion for me. Then I either got really busy
or did not have the appetite for lessons for a while, and I still haven't been back to that particular lesson, but I did go to a
practica last month.
7/10/2009 7:33 PM
I had a great five year visitation with tango, and as a "cultural tourist" enjoyed it immensely. Could there be a more subtlety
beautiful ritual than the cabeceo? I miss it, but less as time goes by. There is no better dance. Long live tango! PS: Hi
Carmen!
7/10/2009 7:20 PM
I doubt I'll come back to Tango at this point. It's highly unlikely I'd meet someone who wanted to put the time and effort into
it.
7/10/2009 7:19 PM
Said most everything in 12. I do not blame others for my insecurities around tango. I just don't like putting myself in
situations that feel like rejections. I do understand how it is to dance with less advanced dancers, so it's a matter of finding
partners, and finding partners who are at the same level. Most tango dancers in the USA that I have encountered are
advanced and choose to dance with other advanced dancers, which leaves many of us in limbo.
7/10/2009 7:15 PM
I am one of those people who became discouraged, quit and then came back. I am writing this because I care about the
Tango community here in Portland. Culturally, I found it difficult to fit in. There was not a strong feeling of inclusion unless
you had the right stuff. There where also elements of elitism and ageism. I understand that it is human nature to do this and
I understand why people need to be discerning as we are in the rest of our non-Tango lives. But in terms of community
building I think a lot could be changed and probably best changed by example of our instructors. Without trying to be crass,
we have all suffered thru a ''mercy dance'' or two. My point is, that a little inclusion can make a big difference in someone's
early Tango experience. We live in a special place here in Portland and enjoy an abundance of cultural diversity. If you all
haven’t noticed, we have a very large number of talented and skilled dancers. In a sense, we have a new Tango Elite, and
like new money, tends to be flashy and ego centric.... I realize that statement could alienate a few of you. So, if I haven’t lost
you already, I also feel a lot of love and a real desire, as others, to grow this community into a very beautiful, expressive,
artful, safe, loving community. Abrazos
7/10/2009 6:41 PM
I appreciate your efforts with this survey.

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7/10/2009 6:16 PM
The tango community is difficult to enter into, but I think that the way the dance is structured (tandas, primarily) and some of
the cultural aspects of it make it especially difficult. I think having the "unspoken" rules of tango spelled out for beginners
would help a lot. Also, tango is a very difficult dance, which makes it that much harder to retain people. All dance forms
have trouble, but tango requires a different level of commitment -- one that not everyone can devote the time or energy to.
And that's okay ... natural attrition is fine. I think focusing on making the tango community an inviting place will help those
who do have the time and energy feel welcome and keep them coming back (and contributing) to the tango community.
7/10/2009 6:14 PM
I didn't quit, but I came close.
7/10/2009 5:54 PM
I think I've figured out the way to tell the difference between a beginning dancer and a more advanced dancer. Beginners
always blame the other; more advanced dancers realize that it's a two-way "conversation". Most dancers are kind and
patient; unfortunately it only takes a few bad experiences to overshadow them.
7/10/2009 5:53 PM
Miss it a lot!!!!!!!!! Alice Lema 541-301-7980
7/10/2009 5:35 PM
I got involved in a long-distance relationship that takes up most of my weekends. I also injured my ankle, which has made it
hard to be on my toes as much. But the long-distance boyfriend has agreed to try tango, so I'll be back, but we'll probably
seek out the tango community in Eugene.
7/10/2009 5:14 PM
I fall into the category of people who come and go from tango. I love the dance but don't always have time to make it a
priority. As I mentioned before, when you are gone for awhile, it takes time to reestablish connections. It is not very
encouraging to return when you return and have a hard time breaking back in.
7/10/2009 5:14 PM
I took about 10 lessons as part of a trip to Argentina, which were all very frustrating because the ability to "follow" never
clicked; I was always just dancing separately. When I moved to Portland about a year after I got back from Argentina, I took
Polly McBride's PCC class, and for some reason, the following thing just "clicked" - all of a sudden, I understood what that
meant, and I was doing it (albeit at a very basic level). I went through a mini-honeymoon type period, where I took a class a
week for more than a year. But, I only went to 2 practicas/milongas and one morning of a ValenTango, in part because the
whole community aspect was rather intimidating. I was generally younger than the rest of my classmates by a good 15
years or more, and I never found a group of people I connected with in the community. I haven't taken a class in more than
a year now, in part because my schedule hasn't allowed it, in part because I self-consciously worry about things that would
make dancing with me too uncomfortable for potential partners (too sweaty, too novice, keep stepping on toes, my
somewhat-discomfort in close embrace, etc), and in part because I never found a good friend (or friends) to keep me
coming back for more. My schedule will be changing again soon, and I've contemplated trying to ease back into tango, but
at this point I'm ambivalent... I'll just have to see how things shake out, I guess.
7/10/2009 4:59 PM
OK, yes, I still do dance...or try to dance. But these are the tings that keep me off the floor for extended periods, or send me
home from milongas asking myself why I bother.
7/10/2009 4:44 PM
We really do want to get back into it and plan to do so.
7/10/2009 4:30 PM
After I worked past my original anxieties I really started to enjoy it. Then I hurt my back and couldn't do it for a while. Then I
met my wife who doesn't dance. I would love to start tango again but I find it hard to introduce her to it. She is more
intimidated than I was. The tango music is not something she appreciates and she is intimidated by other people and the
idea of dancing with strange men. One thing that I think would help a lot with beginners is to use more familiar music that
they recognize when starting out. It is hard enough to learn the dance let without having to learn to interpret music that you
have not developed an ear for. It might also not hurt if there was a beginners dance where it is understood that there will be
lots of beginners and if you go expect to dance with a beginner.
7/10/2009 4:22 PM
Have you ever thought about offering a series at an adult community center during day hours with instructors that are older?
7/10/2009 4:14 PM
As a dabbler in the Seattle tango community, I have found that overall people are at least superficially friendly and while
there are some people who are less than pleasant most are very sociable (even if they don't always want to dance with me).
There are some things that bother me about any dance scene and that is the dynamic where men often expect that because
they dance women are looking for sexual or other experiences with them as well, but I don't think this is exclusive to tango. I
do hope to be back in the tango scene in a (hopefully) short period so perhaps I won't fully be a quitter but I think that I am
part of the population you are trying to reach so that's why I filled out the survey.
7/10/2009 4:10 PM

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I think most tango dancers like to believe that they're a fun, open, welcoming group, but go to a zydeco dance some time
and you'll see what that really means. I've quit tango several times (for years at a time) and I've come back to it again now,
only because my partner wants to learn.
7/10/2009 4:06 PM
I don't really feel like I have "quit". More like I don't get to come as often as I would like anymore.
7/10/2009 4:05 PM
It's hard to devote enough time to tango when we have other activities that we love to do.
7/10/2009 4:04 PM
There are so quite a few "humps" that prevent me from being at a milonga level, and having a regular schedule of four
weekly dance classes other than tango is making it impossible to work on tango enough. I have to give something up to
tango. I will probably get there eventually. Intermediate private lessons helped.
7/10/2009 3:38 PM
Although I stopped dancing, I was regularly invited to sing with local tango orchestra. The music was always the number
one draw. Dancing is one aspect of tango. The tango world in the U.S. is grafted from another culture. If there were tango
bars or cafes in our neighborhoods, I would still go - I can always scrape up a few dollars for a coffee or cool drink in a cafe,
and would enjoy the experience of listening to the music in a "come as you are" venue. My long time fantasy is to buy a
corner bar, stock the juke box with tango, and leave a small area clear for impromptu dancing. No cover, no minimum, no
pressure...
7/10/2009 11:53 AM
Learning Tango only makes a sense, if you get something out of it: gaining new friends, going to Milongas and actually
dancing with people, having the experience of learning something new and exiting. If none of that applies, people quit.
6/22/2009 4:38 PM

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