Caroline Kulak 1

Manifesto Assignment

***ARTIST’S STATEMENT AND TRIGGER WARNING***

My purpose in creating this work of hyperbolic reality is to critique an insidious aspect of
the theatre, unapologetically highlighting its true gross monstrosity. To that end, I am radical in
my embrace of the real horror at hand and I do not shy away from the unavoidably ugly truth. I
hope through this piece’s extremity I can shed light on a corrosive philosophy of theatre-making
that is oft-dismissed, still persistent, and too often concealed behind the veils of deflection,
traditionalism, and commercialism. With this manifesto I rip those veils to shreds and let the light
shine on the true form of the pervasive beast of sizeism in certain circles of the professional
american theatre. With that said, I must give strong notice of the possibility that this Manifesto
could be triggering to those with current or past struggles with eating disorders.
There’s certainly an argument that I ought not to be the one creating this Manifesto and
making this commentary, seeing as I am the beneficiary of sizeism’s continued influence in the
american theatre. I’m going to deliver it anyway. I take the risk of writing and performing in poor
taste for the sake of the possible reward in increased dialogue about a serious matter. Furthemore,
I firmly believe we are all affected by sizeism. Much as patriarchy foists a toxic stoic masculinity
on men, the sizeist theatrical zeitgeist generates a tremendous pressure on those actors “in great
shape” to stay that way. Not enough people are talking about this. Hear this destructive
Manifesto, get angry, and the next time you’re in the casting director’s chair do something about
it.

A Realistic Actress’s Body Manifesto

To pretend that those who cast theatrical productions do not see the bag of flesh
encasing an actress’s talents is, quite frankly, ludicrous. Casting directors are paid for
their expertise and attunement to said flesh and figure. When they, to use the industry
term, “type” an actress, they zero in on how she will appear to the audience in the context
of the play. The body is the very foundation of that appearance. An audience, in their
inescapable humanity, sees an actress’s body and passes judgement. Casting directors
select women who will induce judgements that serve the play’s aims. To deny any of this
is a gross self-deception.
People pay admission to the theatre with expectation. Though attendees
demographics have their myriad personal motivations, the general show-going public
seeks an aesthetically pleasing diversion; hence the overwhelming majority amount of
domestic and foreign theatrical interest reserved for the spectacles of the broadway stage,
to the neglect of less funded, less shiny, less beautifully enacted theatre.
The theatre, particularly that most lucrative elite realm of entrancing broadway
starlets and stunning chorines, is a venue to create a perfectly crafted vision of reality,
embodied and enacted ideal onstage. A perfect fever dream. As it stands, particularly
from the point of view of a producer or casting director, such expensive creations require
women who appear worthy of inhabiting it. I ask you, fellow actresses, why should these
theatrical fancies not include an Aphrodite of ideal proportions? A chorus full of them?
And furthermore, why should that Aphrodite be anyone other than yourself? What a
shame it would be to train for years, to possess the talent and skill and yet to be barred
from the roles you dream to play because your “body type” isn’t “appropriate”. What a
shame.
To the attuned young actress and aesthete it is simply observable that beauty, a
slender traditional beauty, motivates and will continue to motivate casting and ticket
sales. And yet today there are those who, in willful ignorance, purport that this is not the
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Manifesto Assignment

case. They claim that now is the time for a plump Elphaba, for a corpulent Christine, for a
bevy of rotund merry murderesses plastered across Times Square. This idea is even more
fantastic than the fictions of the Broadway stage. If top directors were starting to cast fat
girls as more than the comedic best friend, they would’ve already cast them. The truth is
that they haven't. They have reason. Take notice.
Be extremely wary of those who might sell you such a deception. They likely
come from the world of gritty, self-indulgent, uneconomical, and most importantly,
unpatroned theatre. In dalliance with the academy, those who study theatre instead of
making it, they theorize about “body acceptance movements” taking the industry by
storm. Such a storm is nothing but old-fashioned smoke and mirrors. Their advice will
cripple your aspirations for the greatest, most patronized stages of all and consign you to
a world of petty and political small time theatre.
The glaringly obvious truth is that a serious actress cannot let herself get fat
without putting her career on the line. How can she book Broadway’s Regina George,
one of the top paying live theatrical roles currently in performance, singer of the lyric “I
never weigh more than 115”, if she does not take seriously the affect her figure has on her
employability and money making capability? The price of ignoring the facts, or worse,
trying to affect any change in them, is too great. To do so lets her body pull the rug out
from under her when in reality she can control the body, and thus her trajectory. The
following tenets explain how we maximize success playing by these rules.

1. We reject deceptive anti-classical notions of fat ingenues and “curvy” chorines,

and in turn lionize the traditionally beautiful and employable actress’s figure
2. Our bodies are our instruments and our source of income. We subdue them and
mold them to the most castable form possible, realizing the best career possible.
3. We are unafraid to lash out, even violently, against our own bodies in service of
this goal. We will do whatever it takes to reach top aesthetic shape. The pang of a
refused cheeseburger, the ache of a grueling workout, these are ephemeral. Beauty
is pain and we realize beauty for the entertainment of others.
4. We celebrate our open eyes, cognizant of the truth that fat girls simply cannot
have the same career. We are joyous in our knowledge that by curating our
figures we save ourselves

Following these tenets, we uphold a long standing tradition of fit and good
looking stars to mitigate that swelling grotesquerie of non-beautiful bodies, a wave
bourne of so-called experimental and avant garde theatre; we maximize our own
employability in the most hallowed halls of the still-classically cast great white way.
Every day we make inroads by producing a maximally beautified, controlled emballage
et corps. In this endeavour we promote and protect ourselves in the context of the
realities of the business.

WE GLORIFY A TRADITION AT THE HEART OF THE AMERICAN THEATRE. A

WOMAN AND AN ACTRESS IS THE STEWARD OF HER BODY AND
FEMININITY. TOGETHER WE WILL RETURN THE AMERICAN STAGE BACK
TO IT’S GOLDEN AGE GLORY OF BEAUTIFUL CHORINES, A RENAISSANCE
BUILT ON OUR OWN BACKS AND THE BACKS OF SISTERS WHO LOOK LIKE
OUR PREDECESSORS, OUR HEROES, OUR CURRENT STARS. FOR THE
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Manifesto Assignment

SERIOUS ACTRESS IN COMMAND OF HER BODY AS WELL AS HER TALENT,

THE JOBS AWAIT. WILL THEY WAIT FOR YOU?

This Manifesto in no way represents the true opinions, theory, and feelings of its author
Caroline Kulak. She hereby disclaims any and all association with the philosophy put
forth herein