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TECHNICAL

WRITING
ESSENTIALS
JON BALZOTTI

SECOND EDITION
Editor / Production Man ager : Ken t M inson

Editor s: Lindsay Tanner, Julian a Avery, Mari M olen, Kevin H aws

Special thanks to Kristine H ansen for some of the wonderful examples in

Chapter 2.

Copyright ©2018 Jon Balzotti and BYU Academic Publishing

All rights reserved. No part of this work covered by the copyright here-
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CONTENTS

Preface ix

I What Is Technical Writing?


The Communication Process and Characteristics ofTechnical
Writing . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
Big Picture: Defining the Writing Situation 7
Ethics . . . . . . 13
Suggested Exercises 20

2 Style 23

What Is Style? 23
Big Picture: Defining the Writing Situation 24
Plain Style 26
Persuasive Style 42
Conclusion . . 46
Suggested Exercises . 46
IV CONTENTS

3 Design Thinking and the W 1riting Process 51

Understand: Empathy for the Reader . 53


Explore: Divergent Thinking . 56
Materialize: Failure Is an Option 56
Collaboration. 58

Document Design 65

What Is Document Design?. 65


Understand, Explore, Materialize 66
5 Principles of Design 69
Color 80
Illustrations 83
Conclusion 87
Suggested exercises . 87

5 Resumes, Cover Letters, Interviews 89

What Are Resumes, Cover Letters, and Interviews?. 89


Understand, Explore, Materialize . 90
How to Write Your Resume . 91
Style . 98
Document Design 98
How to Write Your Cover Letter 99
Style . 104
Document Design 104
How to Navigate Your Interview 104
Conclusion 108

6 Activity Reports 109

What Are Activity Reports? 109


Understand, Explore, Materialize 111
How to Write Your Report 11 2
CONTENTS V

Style . 11 6
Design . 11 6
Conclusion 11 7
Suggested Exercises . 11 7

7 Analytical Reports 11 9

What Are Analytical Reports? 120


Understand, Explore, Materialize 12 1
How to Write Your Report 122
Style . 128
Design . 128
Conclusion 129
Suggested Exercises 130

8 Proposals 13 1

What Is a Proposal?. 13 I
Understand, Explore, Materialize 132
How to Write Your Proposal . 135
Style . 139
Document Design. 140
Conclusion 142
Suggested Exercises 142

9 Technical Definitions 153

What Are Technical Definitions? 153


Understand, Explore, Materialize 154
How to Write Your Technical Definition. 155
Style . 158
Design . 158
Conclusion. 158
VI CONTENTS

IO Instructions 159

What Are Instructions? . 159


Understand, Explore, Materialize 16 1
Before You Start . . . . . . 163
How to Write Your Instructions 163
User Testing 17 1
Style . . . 172
Design . . 172
Conclusion 174

I I Technical Descriptions 177

What Are Technical Descriptions? 177


Understand, Explore, Materialize 180
How to Write Your Technical Description . 182
Style . . . 185
Design . . 187
Conclusion. 187

12 Literature Reviews 189

What Are Literature Reviews? 189


Understand, Explore, Materialize 190
How to Write Your Literature Review 192
Style . . . 199
Design . . 199
Conclusion 199
Suggested Exercises . 199

I Oral Presentations 20 1

Why Present? . . . 202


Understand, Explore, Materialize . 203
How to Give Your Presentation. . 206
CONTENTS V II

Design . 2 11
Resources. 2 13
Suggested Exercises . 2 15

A Appendix A: Punctuation Guide 2 17

Comma. 2 18
Colon. 2 19
Semicolon. 220
Hyphen. 22 1
Em Dash . 223
En Dash 224
Apostrophe 225
Quotation Marks . 226
Asterisk. 227
Parentheses . 228
Brackets 229
Ellipsis . 230
Period 23 1
Exclamation Point. 232
Question Mark . 233
Ampersand 234
Slash. 235

B Appendix B: Student Exercises 237

Transitional Words and Phrases 237


Parallelism. 239
Active and Passive Voice 239
Verbosity 240
Strong Sentence Structure 242
Imperative Mood . 244
Purpose Statements . 245
Precise Language . 245
V III CONTENTS

Titles and Subject Lines 246


Natural Diction and Tone . 247

C Appendix C: Supplementary Examples 249


Resumes and Cover Letters . 250
Reports. 254
Proposal 258
Instructions 272
Technical Descriptions . 29 1
Literature Review . 292
PREFACE

T echnical communication is interactive and adaptive communication (more


on this idea in Chapter 1). Adaptive to whom:' Well, technical commu-
nication, more than any other rype, is centered on readers. This means you're
brainstorming, writing, and revising with your readers' needs in mind. These
needs will affect your writing style, your diction, your choice of visuals, and your
overall document design, all of which have important ethical and legal implica-
tions for you and the company for which you work.
Effective technical writers must learn to employ informed and flexible
processes for writing and speaking, including finding or creating ideas about
which to write, collecting evidence and essential data, planning and drafting,
editing and proofreading, and designing or presenting a message meant for spe-
cific readers. All of this requires technical writers to analyze different aspects of
audience, purpose, and context to convey information clearly and efficiencly in
written, oral, and visual media.
Throughout this book, you'll learn the communication strucmres ( or
genres) typically used by technical writers in science and engineering and about
the processes that produce them, as well as their organizational and stylistic
conventions.
Technical writers have to articulate their ideas logically, provide evidence to
support those ideas, and discuss opposing arguments and research objectively.
This kind of work requires investigation, using library and Internet resources to
locate sources of current peer-reviewed research; assessment of the reliability
and pertinence of data; and avoidance of plagiarism by following current stan-
dards for documentation. It's equally important that technical writers learn to

IX
x PREFACE

write in a correct, clear, and direct style that allows readers to comprehend and
use technical information. Finally, technical writers need to read their own work
critically, without ego and always willing to improve.
This book will aid you in developing the skills and attitude necessary to
become a professional technical writer and communicator. These are the essen-
tials-let's master them together.
W~AT IS T-EG:HNICAL WRITING?

T echnical writing is one way we share important information in scientific or


engineering workplaces. Recent graduates who pursue technical and scien-
tific careers are often surprised by the amount of writing required during their
day-to-day tasks. In fact, you' ll likely find rhar you spend between 25 and 40
percent of your workday using and creacing technical documents.
Given the importance of these tasks in rhe technical workplace, employ-
ers highly value technical communication skills. Approximately 50 percent of
all employers rake writing skills into account during the hiring process. Many
employers complain that communication skills in general are lacking in college
graduates and those entering rhe workforce. For example, rhe members of rhe
American Insrirure of Aeronautics (AIAA) ranked oral communication as
rhe number one skill rhar new hires needed to improve. Technical writing was
number three. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), while
some employers anticipate offering short-term, job-specific training to technical
communicators, having rhe basic skills and ability to apply them in a variety of
circumstances is a prerequisite to earning many positions in today's workplace.
If you have proficient technical writing skills you'll have more success both
in starring a career and in succeeding in it than one who chooses to forego
developing such skills. According to the BLS, job opportunities for those with
good technical communication skills will continue to be plentifi.tl. Taking rime
now to hone your writing and overall communication skills is an investment in
your professional success.
It's important to note that effective writing and communication aren't tal-
ents some people possess and others don't. Learning and practicing frameworks
2 CHAPTER WHAT ISTECHNICALWRITING/

for writing and speaking will enable anyone to write and communicate effec-
tively. The job of this textbook is to reach you those frameworks-the practice
is up to you.

Let's lay some groundwork by discussing rhe basics of all communication,


or what is often called rhe communication process. To communicate, you must
start with something you want to express-an idea or piece of information.
Having this idea or information rhar you want to convey makes you rhe sender
and the person or group whom you want to communicate with the receiver.
The idea or information is the messa,re. The way that the message is conveyed
is known as rhe channel If rhe receiver responds to rhe sender, this is known as
ftedhack.
To illustrate, let's consider the following: the sender, a company that makes
and sells microwave popcorn, wishes to communicate that consumers should be
cautious about picking up a bag of popcorn by the wrong end after it has been
microwaved. The consumer or receiver sees this on the bottom of rhe bag: "Cau-
tion. Do Nor Handle This End:' And ar rhe top of rhe bag: "Pick Up This End:'
The company used writing on the bag as the channel for its message.
In very practical ways, technical writing is used every day by profession-
als and consumers to solve real problems. The motive of technical writing is to
employ words and images to help readers, not writers, accomplish their goals.
In rhe workplace, these goals might include helping employees learn something
important for their job, performing a task on rhe job, or making critical deci-
sions that coLtld impact the long-term security of the company. In the kitchen,
the goal might be to avoid a burn from the hot burrer of microwave popcorn.
Whatever the goal. technical writing should be accessible, clear, and easily
understood so readers can accomplish whatever they need to using the message
you create.
Technical writing has several characteristics. Ir has strict conventions, it
has a purpose, it covers complex information, it's reader-focused, and ir's typ-
ically objective. Let's examine each of these characteristics by looking at a few
examples.

STRICT CONVENTIONS
Technical communication is meant to transmit information as quickly and
clearly as possible. To do this, technical communicators use standardized con-
ventions, called genres, that follow an expected and familiar form. Technical
readers prefer writing rhar conforms ro genre conventions because they can
The Communication Process and Characteristics o Technical Writin 3

understand more information on the first read and avoid slogging through an
unfamiliar format.
For example, in Figure 1.1, the seed packer gives instructions on planting
purple coneflowers. The instructions follow a pattern of when and how to plant
the seeds. In the genre of gardening instructions, people who buy seed packers
expect rhar information to be found on the back of the packer and rhar it will
be easy to follow once they find said information. Nor all seed packers look the
same, bur the genre dictates what kind of information is provided and where it
is presented.
In Figure 1.2, there are numbered steps that help readers follow the
instructions and see how many steps they must complete to accomplish their
goal. In the case of Figure 1.2, the reader needs to give a per CPR, so he or she
will want to know what to do and when to do it quickly.

f t Large, rosy purple flowers surround an


\1 orange-brown center. Perennial, zones 3-10.
-
--= SOW in late summer at least 12

--- a
DEPTH: 1/4 in.
weeks before ground freezes.
PROFUNDIDAD: 0,6 cm
Sow seeds evenly and thinly and
THIN: 241n. cover with t4" fine soil. Firm
J

-- -= y
SEMILLAS DELGADAS: lightly and keep evenly moist.
61cm Seedlings emerge in 14-21 days.
Bloom• In summer 10 fall.
DAYS TO BLOOM: 365

,..__
er,
O')
J. UNOS DIAS PARA
FLORECER: 365
SIEMBRE a finales de/ verono, al
menos 12 semanas antes de que
el suelo se congele. S,embre las
semi/las de farma pareJO yen poco
....
<.O canridad, y cubro con 0,6 cm de
tierra fina. Afirme ligeromentey
mantenga una humedad parejo.
Las plonrulas emergen en
14 a 21 dias. Florece desde el
verano hasta el orono.

Snap this code for more info


or go to ,.com/more/46937

Frost Free
• May 1-Sep 30 / may1-sep30
• Apr 1-0ct 31 / abr1-oct 31
• Mar 1-Nov 30 / mar 1-nov 30
e Feb 1-Dec 31 / feb 1-dklt

PACKED FOR2014 SEU BY II/IC


ORJr.lNI~& IOT Ul
Figure 1.1 Seed packet instructions
4 CHAPTER WHAT ISTECHNICALWRITING/

Saving Your Pet With CPR


If there is no breathing and no pulse, begin CPR immediately.
Checkfor breathing & pulse Look for other warning signs
1 Check for pulse using middle and index
finger below wrist, inner thigh, below
the ankle or where left elbow touches
2 •Gums and lips will appear gray
, Pupils will be dilated

the chest.
If not breathing, give
If no pulse, start compressions 4 mouth-to-mouth

3 Lay animal on right side and


place hands over ribs where
its elbow touches the chest.
Areas::.!~!
Cats & small dogs: place your mouth
over nose and mouth, blow air in.
Medium-large dogs: place you mouth
Begin compressions. over nose, blow air in.
Do not give compressions
if dog has a pulse.
Repeat Procedure
• Check pulse after 1
<ium, minute and then every
few minutes
• Continue giving CPR
until animal has a pulse
or is breathing
• Stop CPR after 20
minutes

Animal Size Compress Compressions


Chest per breath
Under 30 Ibs. 1/2- 1 inch s
30-90 lbs, 1 - 3inches s
D~gramSour<e:
Amerkan Red Cross Over 90 lbs. 1- 3inches 10

Figure 1.2 CPR instructions

In rhe third example, Figure 1.3, rhe genre is a press release. When working
with the media, it's important co put the most important information-answers
co questions like who, what, when, and where- up at the front. Journalises call
chis writing style the pyramid format. They begin with the most important
information in the first paragraph and add background information after.
Imagine if you wrote a press release in numbered steps, like those used in
instructional posters such as in Figure 1.2. Not only would the mistake confi.ise
and frustrate your readers, it would also undermine your ethos ( credibility) as a
trustworthy source of information. Genre in technical communication is a kind
The Communication Process and Characteristics o Technical Writin 5

A pril 16, 2017


For Immed iate Release

Head of N on-Profit t o Meet w it h Mayor

HAPPYTOWN, VA- Later t hi s week Ms. Marianne Givenanchi, D irector in Chief of


Cool Cat s Collaborat ive, w ill meet w it h Mayor Rita Harper in her office at Town Hall to
d iscuss expansion o f t he Happytown Recreat ional Center to include a read ing room.

Cool Cat s is an organizat ion t hat seeks t o rai se awareness abo ut literacy for ch ildren
3-1 4 years of age. Cool Cat s sponsors quarterly book d rives and provides reading t utor-
ing for children from low-income households..

T he goal of Cool Cats is t o help children learn to love read ing and ed ucat ion so t hat
t hey can be better prepared for high school. Cool Cat s seeks to place ch ildren on a bet-
ter pat h t hrough literacy so t hey can successfully graduate high school and move forward.

Figure 1.3 Press release

of language. Ir's the mark of a professional to learn how to communicate in the


genre of the community you're trying to inform or persuade.
Genre and audience are critical elements to consider when creating a piece
of technical communication. Knowing what your audience expects and commu-
nicating according to those expectations requires problem-solving and critical
thinking. Ir requires studying multiple examples of the genre and lots of prac-
tice. Bur when you can successfully master the conventions of a genre and the
needs of your audience, your success with a particular piece of writing increases
exponentially.

PURPOSE AND COMPLEXITY


Technical communication transmits detailed and complex information;
both variables must be involved for a document to be considered technical writ-
ing. A telephone book, for example, has: a lot of derail bur little complexity. On
the other hand, an equation for atomic fission may rake up less than a page, bur
its complexity would make it highly technical. Your purpose in technical writing
is to transmit information-highly complex and detailed information-in a
format that readers can understand.
One principle of communicating with appropriate complexity is using the
right vocabulary, or jargon, for the audience and situation. In Figure 1.1, the
seed packer specifies that the purple coneflower is a perennial The term isn't
defined, bur since rhe majority of those reading the seed packer will know rhar
the term refers to a plant that lasts more than two years, using the word peren-
nia/is appropriately complex for the intended audience and more suitable for
the limited space on a seed packer than a lengthy definition.
6 CHAPTER WHAT ISTECHNICALWRITING/

In Figure 1.2, the per CPR instructions are written with a particular sit-
uation in mind-one of high stress where a person is unlikely to be thinking
clearly. In step 4, the instruction could read, "Place your mouth over the animal's
nose and mouth and exhale:'This would be almost the same as what is written,
bur considering the situation, "blow air in" is probably more appropriately com-
plex. Almost everyone knows what exhale means, bur in such a tense situation
spending even a second trying to remember if exhale means breathing in or our
could make the difference in saving a per's life. Figure 1.3, the press release, uses
the term literacy. For the media representatives-chose the release is intended
for-chis is an appropriately complex rerm to describe the ability to read and
write, since this audience is generally educated and rhe term is widely used.

READER-Focus AND OBJECTIVITY


Technical communication is designed to meet readers' technical needs. You
must know who your readers are and why they need rhe information. You may
address any number of audiences in your career, including people with more,
less, or similar expertise than you have; people with expertise in a different field;
or clients, colleagues, competitors, and legal professionals. You must be pre-
pared to adjust your communication to meet varying needs.
When learning to write for a new audience, it's useful co read examples of
the genre in which they communicate and imitate the examples until you feel
comfortable writing in char genre. (This includes using the right jargon and con-
ventions of che genre.)
Consideration of readers influences issues as small as what words to use
and as big as what questions to ask and answer. For exan1ple, rhe writer of the
seed packet (Figure 1.1) anticipated rhac readers want to know how many days
will pass before something begins to grow. The writer of the instructions for
saving a pee with CPR (Figure 1.2) included the cable on how far to compress
and how many compressions co do, based on the animal's size. This isn't infor-
mation that most people research when getting a pet, bur they'll certainly want
it in this situation. In rhe last example (Figure 1.3), the writer provided some
information in the second and third paragraphs char media representatives will
want to know when producing a story about the event. Correctly anticipating
the needs of your audience is a hallmark of a skilled technical writer.
Objectivity is required in most instances of technical writing because the
information is what's important, nor the opinion of rhe writer. Being objective
signals char the focus is on facts, nor feelings. Objectivity can assist in present-
ing a message clearly, without imposing barriers that opinion or bias can create,
such as emotion- based disagreements or responses.
Even though technical communication requires objectivity and the human
element isn't always present in the writing itself, the technical writer should be
conscious char her or his audience is made up of real people with real problems.
Big Picture:DenningJhe Writing Situation 7

Burying meaning in difficult jargon or convoluted phrasing (sometimes called


"legalese;"'academese;• or any other "-ese" depending on rhe audience) isn't rhe
purpose of technical writing. Rather, the meaning should be clear and accessi-
ble so information is useful and comprehensible. Accencion co the conventions
of technical writing, appropriate complexity, proper objectivity, and consider-
ation of rhe circumstances and needs of readers will result in superior technical
communication.

Mose novice writers focus on the end resulcs of effective writing, bur expe-
rienced writers start with asking questions. Finding rhe right questions to ask
is rhe purpose of this section of the chapter. Technical communication isn't just
one kind of writing. You'll have to make choices and airer your style, che infor-
mation you include, the complexity of the information, and your cone ( as well as
a host of ocher elements) depending on the writing sicuacion.
This rexc uses rhe CMAPP model developed by communication scholars.
This model will help you ask rhe important questions rhar ultimately shape
your communication. CMAPP stands for context, message, a«dience, p«rpose,
and prod«ct. Communicators must think about and respond to each of these
factors appropriately.
The CMAPP method is difficulc co master at first because all che factors
must be taken into account at once, much like driving a car. When you first
learn to drive, it can be overwhelming to remember to check mirrors, use sig-
nals, watch for pedestrians, march the flow of traffic, and remember which pedal
does what. However, with practice you can do everything necessary to become
a safe, capable driver.
lc's much the same with technical writing-you must remember rhe con-
text, message, audience, purpose, and product at every step in your writing pro-
cess. Ar first, ic'll be frustrating to have to keep so many factors in your mind at
once, bur you'll improve with practice. The different elements of CMAPP may
often overlap; questions like, "What is my audience's background knowledge on
chis subject?" pertain to context and audience, bur knowing where the elements
differ-to be sure you're asking all rhe necessary questions-will set you apart
as an extremely effective technical communicator.

CONTEXT
The context refers to the circumscances rhar surround communication.
There are several factors you should consider:

• Economic context: Trends in the local and national economy could affect
your readers' accicudes toward your communication. For example, a limited
8 CHAPTER WHAT ISTECHNICALWRITING/

budget may be a large factor in reader decision-making, and chose concerns


should be reflected in your communication.
• Physical context: The physical locations where your readers will interact
with you or your document.
• Ethical context: Any ethical or legal issues char affect rhe communication.
• Political context: Relevant laws or attitudes of stakeholders char affect
your communication. This may only apply in some situations, bur when it
does you should be aware of your message's political implications and tread
carefully.

Context is both always present and ever changing. Remember that readers
are rhe focus and make note of any changes in context that can and should affect
the way you present information to your audience.
Another important facet of context is raking note of your audience's back-
ground. Back in rhe example of the seed packer in Figure 1.1, the writer used
rhe verb firm rather than raking more space to describe rhe intended action
because the readers of seed packers usually understand what that verb implies.
Besides decisions on which terms to use, understanding your audience can
affect the length of rime you spend explaining a concept, the kinds of examples
you choose to use, and rhe tone of your writing. When writing an informal
memo to a supervisor, it might be appropriate to throw in a casual reference to
the game last night because the two of you often talk about your time outside
work. Bur, as you probably already know, this wouldn't be correct when drafting
an email to a busy company executive informing him why the section of the
proposal your ream was in charge of wasn't on rime.
Of course, there are innumerable context factors char could affect your
writing. Your company culture, interpersonal relationships with rhe parries
involved, preconceived ideas, and any number of ocher factors can affect how
your technical communication will be received. Bur the point I want co make in
chis section is char if you don't rake the time to use the CMAPP method, many
of those questions go unanswered and your communication will suffer for it.
Parr of the role of a good technical communicator is to research factors char
matter to a piece of technical communication and respond to them effectively.
Lee's look at one example of how context can affect rhe writing situation:
laboratory technician Ralph Greene was asked to write an instructional poster
derailing thorough cleaning procedures in his lab. Because he knew char the
poster would be high on rhe wall and above a large sink where readers couldn't
gee close to it, Ralph designed rhe poster with large words and pictures to illus-
trate chem. His coworkers appreciated char Ralph accounted for the physical
context in which they'd interact with the poster because they could read it and
follow the instructions from almost anywhere in the room.
Big Picture:DenningJheWriting Situation 9

MESSAGE
When we talk about the message of your communication, we're referring to
its content. Recognizing your message and being able to formulate it concisely
in your head before attempting to communicate it is essential in technical com-
munication. A message can be long or shore. The longer the message, however,
the more important it is to communicate it clearly. Long, rambling paragraphs
can distort rhe meaning of a message, as well as bore or confuse your audience.
You can be sure your audience is missing che message if they ask, "Whats
your point?" You begin to avoid this common problem by understanding your
own point as the first seep in crafting your message. It can also help you decide
the best way co communicate it.
Hi!lary Sman wanted ro draft a message to her employees about the impor-
tance of workplace safety. Recenc!y, there had been a few different incidents
regarding working with chemicals without protective gear, clothing getting
smck in machinery, and lifting heavy pallets without a forklift, resu!cing in a
strained back and a compensation claim. Hi!lary began to create a presentation
on safety. She made slides on using seep stools or ladders co reach high objects,
exercising caution around heavy machinery, and lifting correcc!y. Bur she sci[[
fe[c frustrated.
Hi[[ary decided to cake a closer look at what message she wanted to share.
After half an hour with pen and paper, Hi[[ary realized char what she wanted
to communicate to her employees was co use common sense and that she cared
about chem and wanted chem co be safe. Instead of using slides, HiHary asked
Mark, a maintenance staff member, co do a funny skit about using common
sense to be safe at work. Everyone laughed and the mood was light as Hi!!ary
then expressed concern for her employees and her wish for chem co be happy
and safe. Because Hil!ary rook rime co figure our what her real message was, her
employees fe[c valued and a few of chem even came up afterward to thank her
for being such a kind and caring employer.

AUD IENCE
The needs of your audience wi[[ determine many of your choices as you
communicate technical information. You can expect your documents to be read
by four types of audiences:

Primary readers: These readers are your intended audience. General!y, the
information you provide will al!ow chem to make decisions or cake action,
so you muse understand why rhey want to receive your technical commu-
nication and what they'![ do with ic. These readers may have any level of
technical expertise.
IO CHAPTER WHAT ISTECHNICALWRITING/

Secondary readers: These readers may nor be your intended audience, bur
they'll often read your documents and advise primary readers in how they
should approach your communication. They're usually experts in their field
and will know what co look for, good or bad, in your communication.

Tertiary readers: As rhe name suggests, these are third-parry readers who
are unassociated with you as the creator of a document, or with the pri-
mary audience of the document. These individuals search for problems in
your technical writing. They can be journalises, activists, auditors, or com-
petitors of your primary readers. They often are motivated co protect them-
selves or ochers from inaccurate information, incomplete logic, or unethical
practices char could occur in documents rhey examine.

Gatekeepers: These readers review technical communication before it


reaches the primary readers. They could be individuals who advocate for
you or for another parry. Typically, your own supervisor will ace as gate-
keeper, bur ocher administrators or lawyers from your organization may
need co approve your documents as well. Gatekeepers' interests lie in pro-
tecting you and your organization from ethical or legal problems, as well
as ensuring char the information communicated is accurate and effective.

It's helpful to know as much as possible about these four groups of readers.
You should understand their preferences, biases, expectations, and goals. One
way co ensure char you thoroughly understand your audience is to create an
audience profile. For more information about audience profiles, see Chapter 3
on the writing process.
The importance of considering audience in rhe technical communication
process cannot be overstated, as illustrated by rhe many responsibilities you
have coward chem. Remember the example of the popcorn from the beginning
of chis chapter? Ir's your responsibility as rhe sender of rhe message co initiate
a clear channel co your readers. Also mentioned earlier is char your relation-
ship with rhe audience requires problem-solving and critical chinking, and chat
it's your job as the technical writer to anticipate rhe questions your audience
will have and answer chem before they're asked. Sometimes clients will wane
co know which option is best for chem and they'll look co you co give chem
char answer. Lasrly, while remaining objective, it's essential char you represent all
sides of a situation truthfully. If one option will cost thousands of dollars over
rhe budget, include char information. This is ethical communication, which will
be discussed later in chis chapter.
Throughout every phase of communication, the audience plays a key role.
As you learn and practice each principle in chis book, reflect on how it relates
co your audience. You'll almost always learn something new and valuable from
such reflection.
Big Picture:DenningJhe WritmgSituation II

PURPOSE
The purpose of technical communication varies by the document. Accord-
ing to tradition, communication can serve three general purposes: to instruct,
persuade, and to delight. For technical communication, we might add to define,
to inform, to explain, and to propose. The next sections address the three tradi-
tional purposes and their application in technical writing.

Instruct
Because technical writing is rooted in a scientific tradition, most of the
rime you'll aim to reach or inform your audience about a technical subject. Use
clear, precise language to ensure readers correctly interpret your text. Anticipate
questions or confusion and overcome those issues beforehand by changing your
wording, including a definition, or explaining in more derail.
You need to know about twice as much on any given subject as your
audience will after reading your work. This will enable to you to be appropri-
ately complex in your sryle, sufficiently clear in your approach, and adequately
prepared to anticipate questions your audience may have. When your goal
is to instruct, it's less important to have an opinion and express it. In fact, in
some genres like a technical description, you'll need to keep your own voice
our entirely and simply present facts. Here again, it's good practice to stick to
answering the questions revolving around who, what, when, where, and how.

Persuade
Some technical genres, like proposals, directly aim to persuade an audience
to a specific course of action. Bur no matter the context, you must always seek
to convince your readers that your work is accurate, logical, and useful-you'll
learn more about logical writing in Chapter 2.
You can think of writing with persuasion as employing three writing
moves. First, you begin with good reasons the audience should think, do, or
believe what you want them to think, do, or believe. Second, you provide critical
information that they need to understand your reasons. Third, you end with
what good things will result from them thinking, doing, or believing this new
way. This persuasive strategy can help you organize different parts of your writ-
ing, at the paragraph and document level.
Think about a proposal document for a moment. Let's say your company
asked you to submit a proposal to another company to update their cybersecu-
riry network. Out of all the proposals this other organization received to do the
work, why should they pick yours:' You know why, bur it's your job to use the
proposal to show them-at every level of rhe document-why your plan and
product is the best, most cost-effective plan and product available.
12

Delight
Unlike creative writing, which delights through imagination and sensation,
technical writing can delight by being as useful and informative as possible.
When you conform to technical conventions and provide a useful resource to
your audience, you can provide a kind of delight in the practicality and effective-
ness of your communication. Your readers can admire your work as being highly
useful in solving the problems they face.
While raking these traditional purposes into account, an important ele-
ment to remember is that you understand the driving force behind your par-
ticular communication-that is, what real-life problem needs to be solved with
your document? What's the issue at hand? What's the situation that requires
you to respond?
Because workplace problems and issues are so diverse, your purpose for
writing and communicating must also adapt to the problem. A common mis-
take will be for you to spend all your time thinking about minor reasons for
writing. Don't. At school, you may want to get a good grade or even just pass a
class. On the job, you want to make a good first impression, or you may hope to
avoid embarrassing yourself. These are all understandable anxieties and fears.
Bur these aren't the primary purpose of your document, and too much attention
to those issues will make it hard for you to focus on what really matters. Per-
haps you're communicating important safety information to prevent injury or
death, presenting options for saving a small business from collapse, or informing
your boss on rhe progress of a project to protect investor resources. Remember,
the smaller things will rake care of themselves if you properly address the doc-
ument's true purpose.
Some documents may have more th an one purpose. As you begin to think
of writing as real problem-solving, you'll see how understanding purpose will
be impossible without getting to know the different audiences you hope to com-
municate with and their particular needs and wants. Hopefully, you can under-
stand the differences between message and purpose in the CMAPP model. If
these are unclear, see the exercises at the end of this chapter.

PRODUCT
The product refers to the form rhar your communication takes, both to the
rype of document (proposal, email, report, and so on) and the mode of commu-
nication ( written, oral, visual, or any combination of the three). This book pri-
marily focuses on written communication, bur it also provides some guidelines
for visual design and oral presentations.
Think of the communication product as the means by which you solve a
communication issue. Or, to say this another way, the product is the means by
which you address your audience's needs and meet their expectations.
---~-----~~-------;.,,;-
Your goal as a writer is to understand how standard pieces of communi-
Ethics I3

cation are put together and how they typically work. Sometimes you'll be able
to follow most-if not all-of the features of a genre to solve the problem. But
in some cases, you must make modifications so that the needs of the audience
come first. When you do move outside of convention, you have to inform the
audience why and how best to proceed. Genres are shorthand for understand-
ing communication. If you want the audience to trust you, you must be frank
about your modifications to the produci:'s format or mode of communication.

The factor that ties all technical communication together is ethics. No


matter the genre, audience, or purpose, you must be ethical. Ethics affect col-
leagues, the company, and customers. Unethical behavior can lead to legal and
other consequences, including loss of personal credibility, your job, and future
opporrunmes.
Most employers and organizations have a code of ethics or conduct you
must follow in order to retain your job or membership. One such professional
organization is the Society for Technical Communication. The STC helps pro-
mote best practices in the field of technical communication and provides educa-
tional opportunities for members. The society also embraces a set of six ethical
principles, which will be used here as a basis for discussing the practical nature
of ethics and various forms of unethical behavior.
The STC's six ethical principles are legality, honesty, confidentiality, quality,
fairness, and professionalism. These principles apply as you write, of course,
bur are also essenrial as you complete any professional task or interact with
colleagues and clients.

Legality
In the workplace, there are laws that govern just about everything. Edu-
cating yourself on laws that govern you and others you work with can keep you
safe and provide a support to lean on if pressured to "bend" a rule. Laws-and
policies that ensure you follow the laws-are often described in trainings or
documents when you begin working for an organization. Ir's important to pay
attention to the small print and understand the implications of each policy or
law.
Technical communication embraces spoken words as well as writing. In
many stares, there are laws that require employees to report if they see some-
thing unethical going on, whether or nor they have all the derails. If you see
something questionable going on at work, report it to your supervisor. If he or
she is involved, you may have to rake it to a higher level of management. Many
14 CHAPTER WHAT ISTECHNICALWRITING/

people are unaware rhar their failure to report things they even think they saw,
without knowing the whole story, can make them legally liable if those around
them were in violation of the law.
Plagiarism is a violation of the law. Plagiarism can be committed by either
directly raking credit for work you didn't do, or by failing to give credit to the
person or group who did do rhe work. To protect yourself and your organiza-
tion from plagiarism claims and also to avoid hurting someone whose work may
have assisted you it's always better to over-cite than to under-cite. If you got an
idea from reading someone else's work, include a reference to it in your sources
or notes.

Ho nesty
Sometimes you may come across an opportunity to sanction or oppose
something that's not illegal bur is unethical. Honesty also applies as you present
information to any of your readers. Misrepresenting facts in order to make your
organization look better is common bur dishonest. Leaving our rhe negative
parts of customer reviews if you're using quotes on a webpage, for example,
is unethical. Every company wants to present the best view of themselves, bur
if you have to heavily edit someone's review for content before placing it on
rhe page, it's ethical to find a different, positive review rather than changing the
meaning of what a client meant to express.
The concept of going "off the record" can be tricky to negotiate. If an
employer or colleague asks you to go off the record, let them know your per-
sonal ethics or values and that you won't bend any rules or break any laws to
protect the company or anyone inside it.

Confidentiality
You may often be responsible to protect the private information-and
sometimes even the identity-of clients and organizations for whom you work.
Protect this information by nor discussing it with others who don't have a legit-
inure need to know, publishing it online, or distributing it in any other form.
Occasionally, you may work for an organization with strict privacy policies rhar
prohibit you from using documents you create, as samples in a personal port-
folio, for example. In these siruations, you should follow the company policies,
since you signed documents to that effect when you began work.

Quality
Ethical behavior includes doing your best work. Referred to as "raking
pride in your work;' the characteristic of doing your best in all circumstances is
part of workplace ethics and will earn you rhe loyalty and respect of coworkers
and employers. If you're someone who always provides high-quality work, you
_______ __ ..,;;;,;;
Ethics 15

will be presented with more opportunit ies and privileges because you're seen as
trustworthy. Even if you don't personally have a contract with a client co provide
your best work, as you have with your employer, ethical behavior prompts char
you present information truthfully and prompdy and advocate co the best of
your ability for your client.

Fairness
Fairness in technical communication embraces many of the elements
already mentioned in chis section on ethics, but another principle is fairness
co your coworkers in how you treat chem. If you hear gossip around rhe office,
resist passing it on (in written or ocher communication), as chis can potentially
open you up co harassment in rhe besc~case scenario or co charges of libel and
slander if the gossip becomes more ser ious. If there were rumors circulating
about you, you'd want people to give you the benefit of the doubt. Extend the
same courtesy co chem and respond with fairness by refusing co pass gossip on
verbally or through emails or memos co coworkers and ochers.

Professionalism
Your employers and clients can expect professionalism from you, and they
will. Professionalism can refer co rhe amount of rime char you lee pass before
responding to an email or phone call. Ir's manifest in the way you handle dis-
appointment on the job or when someone is rude co you. Because you're a
representative of the company, many employers will survey your social media
presence before hiring you co see what kind of a person you are when you aren't
in rhe office. Writing a scathing comment about an unpleasant coworker or
even using foul language in everyday online poses can be a red flag to poten-
tial employers char you aren't the kind of person they wane representing their
company.
Another mark of professionalism is how you refer co people who are differ-
ent from you. There's no excuse for discriminatory language in rhe workplace,
and some organizations have a "one strike and you're our" policy. Ir's inappropri-
ate to refer co a person or a group of people with any terms related to their race,
ethnicity, religion, gender, age, or sexual orientation. If you are talking about
someone who holds a ride chat's historically gendered, choose a gender-neutral
ride instead (for example, "salesperson'' instead of"salesman"). As laws and pol-
icies change on rhe best way co refer co people, scay educated and make a com-
mitment co do your best co avoid offensive terms and apologize if you offend
unintentionally.
I6 CHAPTER WHAT ISTECHNICALWRITING/

lntercultu ral Commun icati on


The final topic of this ethics section is an essential one: inrercultural
communication. Several years ago, while I sat in an airport terminal waiting
to board an international flight, a Chinese man sat beside me and struck up a
conversation. We charred until it was rime to board our flight, then proceeded
toward the plane together. As we walked down the jet bridge, a few baggage
handlers were frantically collecting some of rhe larger carry-on bags to stow
away beneath the airplane. As the Chinese man approached, they hurriedly
indicated that they intended to rake his bag. Nor understanding what they said,
rhe man panicked. Moving to protect his luggage, he tried to protest, bur the
baggage handlers didn't understand him. After a second unsuccessful exchange,
both the baggage handlers and the Chinese man looked at me in desperation.
They each realized at the same moment that I was the only one who understood
what was going on. So, I became an impromptu translator-from English to
English-and was able to solve rhe communication problem between them.
As I later reflected on rhar experience, I came to an important realization:
communicating across ntltures is a skill-a skill rhar nor everyone has, bur rhar
everyone can develop.
Developing this skill-the ability to communicate and engage appropri-
ately with people from various cultural and language backgrounds-is becom-
ing increasingly viral in our globalized society. Advances in technology are
enabling ever greater movements of people, goods, and information across bor-
ders. In the business world, it isn't unusual for a company to simultaneously
negotiate manufacturing contracts in one country, file applications for intellec-
tual property in another, and hold discussions for expanding into the markers of
another. Technical documents-whether instruction manuals, product descrip-
tions, or white papers-are regularly moving across borders online as well. As
such, the ability to appropriately and respectfully communicate across culrures
is becoming ever more viral to success. What follows are some principles to help
you develop the important inrercultural communication skills that will guide
you in successfully navigating rhe complex, interconnected world we live in.
lntercultural communication is fundamentally rhe phenomena whereby
people from different cultures engage in a symbolic process to create shared
meanings (Sadri and Flammia 10). When speaking of people from different
culrures, it's important to recognize that cw!tt✓re is a word that is notoriously
difficult to define. For example, in a sem inal study conducted several decades
ago, anthropologists Kroeber and Kluckhohn, after providing a comprehensive
erymology of rhe word, compiled a list of over a hundred definitions used in
literature (1952). Among the definitions of cwltwre, there's one sense that refers
to "that which is excellent in the arts, manners, etc.;• as in the phrase, "a cultured
person" ("Culture" 2018). However, the "culture" referred to in inrercultural
communication, rather than being based in this kind of a qualitative judgment
__________ Ethics__ ....;;;;
17
about what is good in society, generally refers instead to an objective view of
"rhe behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age
group" ("Culture" 2018). In ocher words, intercultural communication happens
any time char people who identify with different bur equally valid internally
cohesive groups-cultures-attempt co exchange meaning with each ocher.
The difficulties with intercultural communication generally stem from
the tendency of the members of different cultural groups to assume that their
behaviors, traditions, and beliefs are "normal" or superior when compared co
the conflicting behaviors, traditions, and beliefs of ocher cultural groups. For
most, it rakes conscious training and repeated exposure to different perspectives
to learn to "go beyond our initial perceptions of our own culture-whichever
culture that may be-as the one right way of being in the world" (Sadri and
Flammia 34).
To do so practically requires a few things. You must become aware of cul-
tural differences. For example, we can learn that an appropriate greeting in
some cultures would be a handshake, whereas in ochers it would be a bow or an
embrace with kisses on each cheek. We can learn that in some cultures repeated
refusals are expected before at last accepting a proffered gift, whereas one refusal
is understood to be final in other cultures. We can learn that eating with hands
is expected in some cultures, but is considered rude in others. While arriving
lace for an appointment would be highly disrespectful in some cultures, it's
expected and normal elsewhere. By exposing ourselves co cultural differences,
we open our minds to the possibility char there are numerous acceptable ways
of doing things.
After becoming aware of cultural differences, it's then important to culti-
vate a mindset chat "if people think and feel differenrly about rhe world, they
are not demented ... they simply are making different assumptions and using
different categories to make sense of the world they inhabit and find meaning
in ii' (Rosaldo ix). As we develop this mindset and learn-with curiosity and
an open mind-to explore and embrace all cultures, we can learn to appreciate
what's best in all of them. This respect and goodwill toward those we might
classify as different is rhe first step in effective intercultural communication.
Almost everyone is happy to engage wirih somebody who shows respect, curios-
ity, and understanding for their deeply held beliefs, traditions, and perspectives.

Tips (or Communicating Across Cultures


In addirion to becoming aware of and embracing cultural differences, there
are some pracrical rips char can help chose of different cultures to interact suc-
cessfully through oral, written, and visual communication. To master these rips,
it's first essential to consider the mediLtm of communication: the English lan-
guage. As rhe lingua franca, English is estimated to have approximately 328
million native speakers-the third-highest number of native speakers of any
language in the world after Chinese and Spanish (Baker 5). However, experts
18

also estimate rhar at least two billion people speak English as a second language
(Baker 6). What this means is rhar most of rhe interculrural communication
you engage in will be in English. Ir also means, given that there are far more
people who speak English as a second language than natively, that what English
is and will become is no longer entirely controlled by native speakers. For this
reason, if you're a native speaker, you'll need to be sensitive-as you speak and
write across cultures-to what English is as an international language-a util-
itarian means of communication nor always considered to be tied to a specific
culrure. Keeping the international nature of the language in the back of your
mind, with an eye to an audience of second-language learners, will help you
engage more successfully with various interculrural audiences. The following are
some rips rhar can help you do this:

• Use simple grammatical structures.


Avoid complex sentence strucrures when possible, such as passive
voice, cleft sentences ("ir was your sister whom I called"), existential clauses
(beginning with "there is" or "rhere are"), conditionals, and so on. Whenever
possible, use simple subject-verb-object sentence srrucrures.

• Use high frequency words.


In 1953, Michael West published a list of two thousand high-fre-
quency words that accounted for roughly 85 percent of all English language
texts ("General Service List" 2017). In recent years, improved corpora have
allowed other researchers to create additional high-frequency word lists,
such as the New General Service List, which includes approximately 2,800
words that account for around 92 percent of all English language texts
("New General Service"). Sticking to high-frequency words, such as the
words on these lists, will make it more likely rhar your interculrural audi-
ences will understand all rhar you write.

• Avoid figurative language, idioms, jargon, and slang.


Steer clear of literary allusions, metaphors, and other figurative lan-
guage whenever possible. These aspects of language rend to be tied closely
to aspects of culrure, and they can be difficult to translate. Idioms are
extremely difficult to master, and they're also difficult to translate given that
they usually mean something quire different than their literal translation.
For example, you can imagine the confusion that might ensue if idioms
like 'go on a wild goose chase;'"beat around rhe bush;' or "break a leg" were
translated literally. Jargon and slang are also difficult to master, and your
audience is less likely to be familiar with such words or phrases. Even terms
familiar to many non-native English speakers, such as homesick, can cause
confusion when used in a meeting with individuals whose experience with
rhe language is mostly in professional or business contexts.

• Look for common scripts.


Ethics
- - -~-----------lliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii____.__ 19

Many of our daily interactions are governed by semantic scripts, also


known as schemata. These scripts are based on our prior knowledge of how
certain events often play our. For example, when somebody says, "Hello!
How are you?" we know that the usual response is,'Tm fine, thank you.
How are you?" We also know that each rime we go to the grocery store,
we'll be asked certain questions, and will give rhe same answers each rime.
By nming into the scripts that you're playing our during your various daily
interactions, you can often guess what people will say or do long before
they say or do it. Anticipating what will be said in certain situations will
help you understand interculmral conversations even before they occur.

• Focus on body language.


In oral communication, a lot of communication is transmitted non-
verbally. For this reason, being armned to facial expressions, gestures, tone
of voice, proximity, and other nonverbal feamres will do much for helping
transfer meaning in inrerculrural exchanges. However, improper body lan-
guage can also lead to serious misunderstandings. For example, in some
CLtlrures, standing too closely to another interlocutor can cause serious dis-
comfort (Sadri and Flan1mia 177), as can pointing fingers or displaying the
underside of your shoe. Furthermore, certain hand gesrures you're familiar
with may be considered obscene in other cultures, such as rhe okay sign
or rhe thumbs-up and thumbs-down signs. Ir's best to rake some rime to
familiarize yourself with the acceptable uses of body language for your var-
ious audiences.

• Use universal images and symbols.


When including images in your communication, try to use simple,
neutral images rhar are easy to understand. There are few symbols rhar
have been standardized across cultures, so neutral images may be difficult
to identify. However, try to avoid gesmres, colors, or images that may be
offensive for the culmres and people included in your audience.

• Listen and ask questions.


When communicating orally, listen respectfully and attentively,
demonstrating clearly that you're trying to understand. Don't be afraid to
ask questions to check your understanding. Also, it's always a good idea
to prepare for anticipated inrerculrural communications by researching
rhe culmres of your rarger audience. Even if you make mistakes, rhe effort
that you've put in to trying to understand and communicate effectively will
demonstrate your goodwill and won't go unappreciated.

In any technical communication situation-before you draft an email.


write a document, or create a presentation-take rime to consider the implica-
tions and be deliberate about following ethical principles.
20

CONCLUSION
Communication skills are highly sought-after in the technical workplace.
People enjoy working with colleagues who are able to dearly communicate and
who do so in a respectful manner. Communication skills aid in providing value
co clients, resolving conflict, and getting work done right the first rime. As you
use the CMAPP model and develop your technical communication skills, you'll
find that they will help you become an invaluable employee in any organization.

1. Identify an example of the communication process in your life today. Start


by assigning the roles of sender and receiver. What was the channel? What
was the message? Was the sender successful in communicating the mes-
sage? What kind of feedback did the sender get from the receiver?
2. Research online for a technical document, such as a report, proposal, lit-
erature review, or cover letter. Write a brief, one-page analysis of the doc-
ument in which you discuss what you can observe or imply about the
document regarding each of the elements of the CMAPP model.
3. le can sometimes be confusing to distinguish the message of a document
from its purpose. Choose one of the following topics and write two para-
graphs about it. The first paragraph should identify a message that might
be conveyed in a document of this kind. The second paragraph should
discuss the purpose of the communication and how this differs from the
message. (Hint: you may need to look up what a certain job tide means to
respond to the prompt effectively.)
a. A memo from a management analyse co the CEO of a small business
b. An email from a more experienced employee to one who was recently
hired
c. A presentation by a health care professional about a new technological
advance
4. Each year, the John J. Reilly Center for Science, Technology, and Values at
the University of Notre Dame releases a list of the top ten ethical dilemmas
in science and technology. Go co the website for the list at www.reillytoplO.
com and choose one of the issues. Research your chosen issue and com-
pose a one-page memo to your instructor about how you'd solve the ethical
challenge. Include at lease two of the six ethical principles as you write your
report.
Su ested Exercises 2I

Baker, W. (2015). Culture and identity through English as a Lingua Franca:


Rethinking concepts and goals in intercultural communication. Boston, Mas-
sachusetts: De Gruyter, Inc.
Culture. ( 2018). In Dictionary.com. Retrieved from http://www.dictionary.com/
browse/ culture?s= t.
Ethical Principles of Society for Technical Communicators. https://www.stc.org/
about-stc/ ethical-principles/.
General Service List. (2017). In Wikipedia. Retrieved June 27, 2018, from https://
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_ Service_ List.
Kroeber A. L. & Kluckhohn C. (1952). Culture: A critical review of concepts and
definitions. Cambridge, Massachusetts: The Harvard University Printing
Office.
Mission and Vision of Society for Technical Communicators. https://www.stc.org/
about-stc/ mission-a-vision/.
New general service list. Retrieved from http://www.newgeneralservicelist.org/ .
Rosaldo, R. I. (2006). Foreword: Defining culture. In J. R. Baldwin, S. L. Faulkner,
M. L. Hecht, & S. L. Lindsley (Eds.), Redefining culture: Perspectives across
the disciplines (pp. ix-xiii). Mahwah, New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associ-
ates, Publishers.
Sadri H. A. & Flammia M. (2011). Intercultural communication: A new approach
to international relations and global! challenges. New York: The Continuum
International Publishing Group.
The Essentials of Technical Communication by Elizabeth Tebeaux and Sam
Dragga.
STYLE

0 n your first big project as a mechanical engineer, you're told to document


your process as your ream builds a prototype of an electric car. Experts in
a number of fields are part of the ream, including electrical engineers, chemical
engineers, and other mechanical engineers.
You must document your process so rhar all ream members understand
it, even though they have expertise in different fields. The ream supervisor is a
chemical engineer and isn't involved in developing the mechanical elements of
the vehicle.
Since your manager is trained in a different field, you have to rely on your
own experience and specific knowledge of the project to create a useful docu-
ment. How do you present a document that meets your ream's needs?

m:r:.11~~11·H
Style is the manner of communication. If the message is the content, then
the sryle is the way you present the message.
Style is like personality. Ir can be cheerful, professional, to-the-point, flow-
ery, rude, humorous, and so on.
Many elements contribute to how your style is perceived, bur all style
involves purring together words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs, para-
graphs into sections, and sections into whole documents.
Novice technical writers sometimes assume rhar style refers to one's "per-
sonal style:• While you may develop such a style over rime, the emphasis in
technical writing is in communicating information clearly and quickly to your

23
24

reader. You should adjust your style so rhar it serves the needs of your reader
rather than folfilling your own creative impLLlses.
When beginning your career, it's important to realize that good writing
isn't something anyone is born with. Learning to write clearly and correctly in
any language usually requires years of effort. See your career-no matter what it
is-as a lifelong exploration of good writing. Continue to practice even as your
sryle improves.
Traditionally, there are three main types of style: plain, persuasive, and
grand style. Technical writing is mostly written in plain style, bur it can have
elements of persuasive style, depending on rhe purpose of the documents you're
writing.

• Plain style focuses on reader comprehension. Ir's characterized by simple


sentence structures, emphasis on factual information, and directness.
• Persuasive style aims to influence reader opinion. Ir's characterized by an
emphasis on logic, examples, and personal values.
• Grand style is meant to be impressive and emotionally moving. The audi-
ence recognizes artisrry in grand sryle, more so than in plain or persuasive
style.

This chapter will only explain plain and persuasive sryle-grand sryle is
generally used in literary or artistic writing. Before we look at the characteristics
of rhe traditional plain and persuasive styles, we'll learn how to decide which
overall style is best for a particular wr iting situation by using the CMAPP
model.

1:J[tlril[IIIJ~t:a1J~~l~ll~[t1l:l:a'iJ~tlll~[e&1111J;.11[1]~
To determine the writing style that will be most effective for your technical
documents, you must begin by raking the writing situation into account. Even
though this may seem repetitive, the goal is co help you think through each part
of rhe CMAPP model so rhar you're better prepared co write effectively and
efficient! y.

CONTEXT
The background situation is the context of any communication. It's helpful
co keep background factors in mind so you can suit your sryle to rhe situation.
Why was rhe document commissioned in the first place? In what serring(s) will
readers interact with your writingr? What ethical or legal issues affect the doc-
ument? Ir's helpfol to remember or discover how much information your audi-
ence already has about rhe idea or project so rhar you are neither too concise
nor delve into unnecessary derail.
Big Picture:DenningJhe Writmg Situation 25
MESSAGE
The message is the content of your communication. Ir should answer the
quesrion,"Whar is this document abour?"Your message and style should always
complement each other. A mismatch of style and content can cause misunder-
standings. In speech, you can use tone and body language to clarify meaning.
You can also watch listeners to see if they understand what you're saying. How-
ever, in writing you can only use the words on the page to transmit all of your
meaning. Use sryle to create rhe right impression on your audience.

AUD IENCE
Each document you write should be created with a specific audience in
mind. When you know rhe technical level of your audience and your audience's
relationship to the document and to you, you can determine what sryle is most
appropriate.
For example, if you have a nontechnical client audience seeking a bid for
a proposed job, they're likely to want a persuasive sryle with fewer technical
derails. However, if you're writing instructions for a highly specialized technical
audience, you'll likely need to address the process using great derail and a spe-
cialized vocabulary.
In general, your readers seek to be informed, want to understand important
information as quickly as possible, and consider themselves capable of under-
standing the information you present. You should treat your audience as com-
petent readers, bur also respect their rime by making your writing as clear and
concise as possible.

PURPOSE
Your style will also be impacted by rhe reason you're writing rhe document.
Your purpose is to meet a need that your audience has. What will your readers
do with your document:' Will your readers use your document to complete a
task:' Do they need the document to exp lain pertinent information:' Is the doc-
ument giving a brief overview or a derailed report:' Your purpose ought to be
rhe same as your audience's purpose.

PRODUCT
The product refers to the final form of the document. A document may
be physical or digital, just one page or many pages, colorful or grayscale, and
so on. Your style should suit rhe product as well. If a document is colorful and
eye-catching, the writing style should also be energetic. If a document looks
conservative, subdued, and professional, the writing should be as well. Certain
26
embellishments may or may nor be appropriate based on the ocher factors of
the CMAPP model in a given writing si ruarion. For example, if you're reporting
on a lot of statistics, a table or graph might be the best way to efficiently com-
municate your message.

Technical style is plain style. Its main features can be divided among the
four e's: cohesion, coherence, clarity, and correctness. This section will describe
how you can achieve these stylistic features.

COHESION
Cohesion refers to the way separate and distinct elements come together to
form a united whole. When a bricklayer builds a building, he uses bricks, stuck
together with cement, to form walls. As a writer, you use sentences, linked with
transition words, to form paragraphs. Parallelism, topic strings, and the new-old
contract will help make your wall nor only stick together, bur also look better. In
other words, they' ll give your writing style.

Sentences
While you must choose and use proper words and phrases to make your
meaning clear, cohesion really begins on the level of the sentence. Sentences
must be correct, clear, and direct, especially in documents describing technical
subjects.
Sentences often follow this structure:

subject-verb-complement

The subject is the actor of the sentence. The verb is the action.
So, in a sentence like "He slept:• he is the subject and slept is the verb.
Bur most sentences have more information. The words that come after the
verb are complements. A complement is a grammatical term referring to all the
words beside rhe subject and verb char complete a sentence. These words might
describe the scene or goal of an action.
For example, in a sentence such as "He slept soundlY:' the word soundly is
the complement. In a longer sentence like "He slept from midnight until noon:•
rhe words jro,n midnight rmtil noon make up rhe complement. If a sentence has
a complement, it should march up with the established scene or goal of rhe
action.
In a cohesive sentence, all of the words need to come together to form a
whole char makes sense and fills its purpose. This is especially important in
technical writing, since each piece of writing serves a specific-and often
Plain St le 27
urgent-purpose. The words the, rrder, three, qff, ti,nes, horse, and threw have
clear meanings, bur when you put rhem together rhe sentence isn't cohesive.

Example: The rider three off the rimes horse threw.


This sounds like nonsense because these words cannot come together this
way and have meaning. This time, the words are placed in a cohesive relation-
ship to each ocher:

Example: The horse threw rhe rider off three times.


Technical communicators must bring words together in recognizable and
acceptable ways to create meaningful sentences.

Paragraphs
Paragraphs are collections of sentences that have the same main idea.
Make sure to announce your topic clearly and in a predictable position (like a
topic sentence) so readers can easily follow your subject and logic.
Example: A lazy dog lay down in the road and licked his jaws. Surgery
is one option for people who were born with legs of different
lengths. The severe thunderstorm warning for the county will
end this evening ar five p.m. However, you'll have to pay a fee
if you wait until the last day to rake the test .
Each of those sentences is cohesive, bur the paragraph is jarring because
the sentences don't flow together to form a united whole. When you use a topic
sentence, it's like giving your reader a window to the paragraph. They can expect
everything in the paragraph to make sense based on the frame you provided in
your topic sentence.

Example: A severe weather warning was issued for Douglas County


this afternoon. The National Weather Service defines a severe
thunderstorm as one char produces winds of at least fifry-eighr
miles per hour or hail one inch in diameter or about the size
of a quarter. Since a severe thunderstorm warning typically
means rhar a tornado could form at any rime, residents of rhe
counry are advised to seek shelter immediately. The severe
thunderstorm warning will end this evening at five p.m.
In technical writing, different paragraphs have specific fimcrions. lnrroduc-
rory paragraphs prepare your readers for the main ideas in a text. Conclud-
ing paragraphs wrap everything up and. remind readers of the most important
points. Short transitional paragraphs move documents from one idea to the
next. Body paragraphs, which form rhe bulk of most documents, inform or per-
suade your reader, depending on whether plain or persuasive sryle is appropriate
for the context.
28
Trans it ions
If sentences are bricks and paragraphs are walls, transitions are the cement
that sticks the bricks together. Transitions provide connections between ideas.
Transitions can be a word such as nevertheless, a phrase like as you can see, or
even a sentence: Whatfa/lows is another way to solve the prob/on. When you use
words, phrases, and sentences to show relationships between your ideas, you
help your readers understand the overall message of the document. More than
merely useful, transitions are critical as guideposts through sometimes challeng-
ing ideas and help readers to move forward instead of becoming mired down in
derails.
Use transitions to connect sentences and form flowing, readable
paragraphs.
Example: Finally, Brotherson and Craft will be providing every employee
with a new office chair. The new chairs are designed with the
well-being of the operator in mind. For example, each chair is
equipped with small-cell foam padding in the seat, a curved
backrest, soft armrests with adjustable height, and a tilt fea-
mre that transfers body weight to the backrest. Ultimately, the
chairs will contribute ro the long-term hea!rh of our employ-
ees, and workplace injuries are projected to decrease by up to
35 percent.
Each transition word lets readers know a little bit about how the sentence
relates to the sentence after it. Finally implies that this is the last main point or
topic in a larger piece. For exa»iple tells you an example is coming. Ultimately
suggests a final piece of information and signals that the section or piece is com-
ing to a dose. These kinds of words rel! your readers what to expect, which
helps them make sense of the information you provide.
Next, we'll go over a few ways to add sryle to cohesive paragraphs: parallel-
ism, topic strings, and the old-new contract.

Parallelism
Parallelism is a grammatical srrucmre rhar signals equivalent relationships
between ideas. To create parallel structure, use words that have the same func-
tion (like all verbs or all nouns) to indicate two or more ideas of equal impor-
tance. Parallelism can happen at the word, phrase, or clause level.
Incorrect: The technician was told to clean his equipment and that his
laboratory bill must be paid at once.
Parallel: The technician was told to clean his equipment and to pay the
laboratory bill at once.

In the incorrect exan1ple, the grammar is flawed. In the sentence, the tech-
nician was told two things: "to clean his equipment" and "rhar his laboratory bill
Plain St le 29

must be paid:' The first verb is to clean, which is an active verb, with the tech-
nician as the dear actor. The second verb is must hepaid and is a passive verb,
with the actor of the verb unclear. (Learn more about active and passive voice in
the"Active Voice" section later in the chapter.) The two different kinds of verbs
create unnecessary confusion about who will do the action in the sentence.
The parallel sentence corrects the problem by using two active verbs: to
clean and to pay. The verbs both work the same way, clarifying the actor of the
sentence as the technician. Here's another example:
Incorrect: Add water and oil and air to the tires.
Parallel: Add water and oil to the motor and air to the tires.

The first sentence doesn't explain where the water and oil should go. With-
out explaining that derail, the sentence sounds like water, oil, and air should
all go in the tires. The parallel example provides more information- clarifying
action. Parallel constructions eliminate opportunities for confusion. Pay special
attention to your headings and bulleted lists. For example, if a heading begins
with a command verb, the others should too. Or if one item in a bulleted list is
a complete sentence, the rest shOLtld be as well.

Topic Strings
Topic strings are consecutive sentences that all begin with the same actor
(the sentence's subject, who does the action).

Example: The Director of Internal Affairs is initiating a new screening


process. He used to work for a security firm. H e believes the
new process will keep client secrets safe. As DIA, he aims to
raise the bar on company ethics and promote more trust with
both new and former clients.
Sentences can all begin with the same word, or they can use synonyms or
pronouns that directly refer to the original subject. So long as you refer to the
actor in the same spot in each sentence, readers will dearly see the new informa-
tion's relationship to the old.
Topic strings won't fit in every paragraph, bur if you're writing multiple
sentences about a single subject, they can make your writing look streamlined
and professional.
Let's apply topic strings to a non-human subject- our previous example
about severe thunderstorm warnings:
Example: Severe Thunderstorm Warnings are issued when the wind is
at least fifry-eight miles per hour or there is a risk of hail at
least one inch in diameter. They originate with the National
Weather service. They can be put into effect without a Severe
Thunderstorm Watch already being in place. Severe Thunder-
storm Warnings are typically in effect for one hour.
30

Old-New Contract
To use the old-new contract, simply restate something you already said
before you introduce something new. Far from being repetitive, this strategy
explains how new information relates to what's come before.
The following paragraph is a good example of the old-new contract. Nore
how each sentence refers back to the topic ( or first) sentence. Giving readers
that reference point helps them to make sense of a paragraph that otherwise
seems dense with information:
Example: During the late 1950s, Dr.James Folsom created an interven-
tion technique called rea/;ty orientation (RO) for health care
personnel to use with elderly persons with dementia, who are
often confused about where they are and who they're with.
lhis intervention is based on the premise that an individual's
ability to function within their environment is direcrly related
to their degree of orientation to that environment. Using this
technique, health care workers are instructed to reorient indi-
viduals whenever they become confused about person, place,
or time. Reality orientation can be administered on a constant
basis ( called 24-hour RO) as healrh care staff interact with
confused individuals alone or in a group to help them memo-
rize facts to act appropriately in their current environment.
Each of the emphasized words or phrases in the previous paragraph not
only begins a new sentence, but each also ties back to the original topic sentence
of the paragraph.
When you refer back to known information, make sure to begin a sentence
or paragraph with:

• Information your reader already knows or can infer


• Information that's easy to understand
• Information that's short and simple
People remember best what is said last, so it's a good idea to put new infor-
mation at the end of a sentence or paragraph. This new information should be:

• Information your reader isn't likely to know


• Information that you want to emphasize
• Information that's complex or lengthy

The old-new contract allows your reader to more easily follow and absorb
technical content.
Plain St le 3I

COHERENCE
Coherence is the quality of systemic or logical connections between ideas.
Each word, phrase, and sentence shoLLld move smoothly and logically to the
next.
Style is closely linked to logic and reasoning. If you're creating a logical
order of events, your readers want to see all the elements of the logic. In per-
suasive writing, sometimes a writer may leave our some parts of an argument
so she or he can emphasize a particular point of view. Technical writers have an
obligation to include all relevant information. A good way to show all your logic
is to use deductive and inductive reasoning.
In construction, it's important to have high-quality materials to make a
solid building. In writing, your materials are sentences and paragraphs and they
must be coherent to construct a solid document.
Good sentences tell a story and make it easy to visualize a scene:

Sentence 1: Little Miss Muffet sat on a ruffet, earing her curds and whey.
However, writers sometimes try to embellish sentences by using compli-
cated words and long-winded sentences. They mistakenly think that complex
sentences make them look smarter. So instead of writing something like sen-
tence 1, they might write something like this:

Sentence 2: Little Miss Muffer reclined upon a mffer for the purpose of
ingesting curds and whey.
This sentence is still coherent, bur it's harder to understand. The writer has
replaced short, easily comprehensible words with ones that sound more impres-
sive becau se they have Larin roots or sounded cool in the thesaurus. You've
probably seen this style in academic texts; it's sometimes called "academese" or
"bureaucrarese:•

Dedu ctive Reasoning


D eductive reasoning, also known as a syllogism, draws a logical conclu-
sion from step-by-step information. A syllogism is made of three parts: a major
premise, a minor premise, and a conclusion. A major premise is a generally
accepted piece of information. A minor premise is a specific application of the
major premise. A conclusion is a logical statement that results if the first rwo
premises are true.

• Major premise: A truck is a vehicle with a cab, a bed, and at least two
doors.
• Minor premise: This vehicle has a cab, a bed, and four doors.
• Conclusion: This vehicle is a truck.
32
The conclusion in this example may seem pretty obvious, bur that's what a
syllogism is designed to do. With all the elements clearly spelled our, your read-
ers will have no doubt about the logic of your conclusions.

Indu ctive Reasoning


Inductive reasoning rakes more than one piece of empirical ( observable
and measurable) evidence and draws a conclusion based on that evidence. This
kind of evidence is common in scientific experiments where scientists rest a
hypothesis using observation. Unlike deductive reasoning, inductive reasoning
allows for rhe possibility rhar the conclusion is false. With inductive reasoning,
you create an argument for the probability of a conclusion.
A simple way to understand inductive reasoning is rhar it moves from spe-
cific to general and then reaches a conclusion.
Specific: This plant has long white petals, a green stem, and spiky leaves.

More general: Daisies have those characteristics.

Most general: This plant is a daisy.


Inductive reasoning is especially important in technical writing rhar tries
to make a new claim based on research. In a technical document, you must
describe all rhe relevant evidence rhar leads to rhe conclusion, including the
strengths and weaknesses of the evidence.

C LARITY
Clarity in writing refers to the absence of ambiguity. Avoid writing any-
thing rhar will confuse your readers or leave them asking questions about what
you meant. Below are some principles meant to help you write more clearly. Ar
the end of the chapter, there are exercises provided to help you put each princi-
ple into practice.

Accuracy
Accuracy is essential in technical writing. Ethics require that you make
sure that every figure, number, and citation in your work is as accurate as possi-
ble. However, as a writer, you must also decide how many derails are necessary
to give an accurate picture of the situation. This aspect is linked to the next
principle, brevity. For rhe sake of accuracy, you should include specific derails,
bur only those that are necessary for the readers to achieve their purpose. The
following paragraphs show the difference between giving lots of accurate derails
versus giving enough derails to provide an accurate picture without burdening
your reader with unneeded information.
Plain St le 33
Example 1: Hay Manor, the house belonging to Hay Park, is 8,909 square
feet. The park is situated along the west branch of the Salt
Creek, which is 43 miles long and 10 feet wide at its widest
point, and lies half a mile southeast of rhe manor house. The
whole estate of Hay Park is 25 acres, which were purchased
in 1873 by Colonel William Cowpen, who helped established
Hay County. Hay Park was rhe county sear of Hay County
from 1885 until the Colonel's death in 1916, after which rhe
county seat was moved to Roy. Hay Manor boasts real hard-
wood floors over two-thirds of rhe house, with a flagstone
entry hall and carpet in all the bedrooms except rhe master.
Example 2: Hay Manor is over 8,000 square feet and sirs on 25 acres along
Salt Creek. Ir was the county sear of Hay County and home
of Colonel William Cowpen for 31 years and boasts real hard-
wood floors in much of the house.

The first example contains accurate derails, bur it could be overwhelming


for a reader who is skimming a list of houses for sale. The historical and geo-
graphical derails included in rhe first paragraph would be more appropriate for
readers who are already interested in the house and wanted to know more. The
second paragraph also provides accurate information, bur it's pared down to
make reading easier.
Striking the balance between enough and too much information can be
difficult for novice writers, bur as with any principle in this book, you'll improve
with practice. To help with this, always keep rhe purpose of rhe document in
mind when deciding what relevant derails to include.

Brevity
Allied with accuracy is brevity, or writing concisely and using economy of
language. Technical readers want to understand rhe content of your documents
as quickly as possible, so be brief. Don't waste your readers' rime with long,
involved sentences. Many beginning technical writers assume the complexity of
their sentences should march the complexity of the subject material for their
work to be taken seriously. Actually, it's usually in your best interests to choose
simple words and phrases. Language is remarkably versatile, and there are typ-
ically many ways to express any given concept. You shOLtld strive to march the
formality of the writing situation without becoming overblown in your language.
Remember that the purpose of technical documents is to help your reader
with a practical matter. They don't want to wade through difficult sentences and
endless blocks of rexr to get to rhe information they need.
Here are some rips for keeping rexr brief:

• Keep sentences short.


• Choose simple words over complex ones.
34
• Avoid adding unnecessary words.
• Write shorter paragraphs.

The following is a long example:

Difficulties were experienced due to the length of the jour-


ney between the factory and the store, which caused a certain
amount of the product to be unacceptable for shelving. It is
our considered opinion that these difficulties could be alle-
viated and perhaps done away with altogether if the product
was transported at an optimum temperature for its nature,
perhaps in a wheeled conveyance constructed for the purpose
of transporting products at cooler temperamres than are gen-
era!!y found to exist in the vehicles currently used for trans-
porting product from rhe factory to the store.

And this is an example of brevity:

Because of the long distance from the factory, some of the


shipment was already spoiled when it arrived at the store. We
recommend that the company use refrigerator trucks to keep
the product from going bad on its way to the store.
The second paragraph is much easier to understand. Readers don't want to
waste time wading through long explanations when a short one will do.

Active Voice
Voice refers to whether a subject does an action or is acted upon. There
are two voices in English: active and passive. Active voice has a subject that per-
forms an action.
When a subject acts upon a verb, the sentence is in active voice. Active
voice is direct, bold, and concise.

Example: The jawbone readily attaches itselfto a dental implant in a pro-


cess ca!!ed osseointegration.
Passive voice has a subject that is acted upon. Verbs in the passive voice use
state of being verbs like be, have, and will.

Example: Dental implants are attached to the jawbone during a process


ca!!ed osseointegration.
Most of the time, active voice is the better choice for a sentence. However,
in technical writing (more than in any other kind of writing), passive voice is
also an acceptable choice. You should ch oose passive voice when:

• No one knows who or what did the action.


• The doer of the action isn't important.
Plain St le 35
Many technical documents focus on mechanisms, processes, or findings.
These subjects are acted upon, so passive voice is appropriate.

Example: Modifications or additions are made to the system on a regu-


lar basis. Manuals are written annually and provided to crew
members ro keep them updated on major changes.
Passive voice is also acceptable if it doesn't affect rhe level of engagement
with the reader or the clarity of the sentence. Passive voice should be used ro
improve rhe variety of sentences, bur it shouldn't be a default sentence structure.

Nominalizations
N ominalizations refer to words rhar have been changed into a noun form.
These words aren't inherently bad in writing, bur they are often longer and more
complicated than rhe original form of rhe verb, adjective, or adverb. Nominal-
izarions are a major cause of academese writing.
For example, analysis is a noun formed from rhe verb analyze. The adjective
clear can be turned into rhe noun clarity. Changing rhe function of words is a
handy process, one rhar gives writers srylisric options. Bur you'll run into prob-
lems if you use nominalizarions more than simple verbs, adjectives, or adverbs.
Let's look ar a comparison:
Sentence 1: The analyst completed his compdation of rhe data with great
speed.
Sentence 2: The analyst compiled rhe data quickly.
Sentence 1 requires five more words rhan sentence 2 because ir uses nomi-
nalizarions instead of simple verbs and modifiers. Imagine an entire article con-
sisting of sentences like sentence l; it would be about rwo rimes longer rhan one
rhar used more direct phrasing like senrence 2.
Ler's look ar another comparison:

Sentence 3: The placement on a tuffer oflirtle Miss Muffer was performed


for rhe ingestion of curds and whey.
In this sentence, rhe verbs place and ingest have been nominalized- they've
been made into nouns. The actor in the sentence, Miss Muffet, has also been
taken from rhe subject position. She should bear rhe beginning of rhe sentence,
near rhe verb, so ir's clear who is doing rhe acting.
However, writers can compound rhe nominalizarion and make a sentence
even more confusing:

Sentence 4: The little Miss Muffer curds and whey ingestion placement on
a mffer was performed.
Here, rhe whole action has been tur ned into a noun. Thar makes ir hard to
envision what actually happened.
36
Unfortunately, too much professional writing resembles sentence 4. Ir's a
sryle rhar rakes too m uch rime to read and write. Ir also asks readers to work
harder than necessary.

Vague Pronou ns
Pronouns stand in for and refer to nouns that came before ( these nouns are
called antecedents). If a sentence uses a pronoun char doesn't clearly refer to an
antecedent, it's a vague pronoun. Vague pronouns confuse readers because they
do not refer to a specific noun. It, this, that, and which are common offenders.

Incorrect: When you prepare your yard for an in-ground pool, you must
first dig a large hole. This allows your contractors to properly
lay a foundation for rhe water feature.
Correct: When you prepare your yard for an in-ground pool, you must
first dig a large hole. This step allows your contractors to
properly lay a foundation for the water feature.
Incorrect: You should also insraU a door opener, which monitors move-
ment around your home.
Correct: You should also insraU a door opener, a device that monitors
movement around your home.

In the incorrect examples, this and which refer vaguely to the ideas listed
in the previous sentence. In chis scenario, it is unclear to the readers what this
or which means. The correct examples eliminate vagueness by adding an addi-
tional subject ( this step or a device that). This extra information allows readers to
clearly understand your intended meaning.

Wo rd Choice
Since technical writing must be accurate and brief, words char have multi-
ple interpretations can confuse your readers. Instead, choose words char have
exact, practical meanings.
One element of word choice is the use ofjargon. Many industries develop
jargon, meaning slang or specialized words char only make sense in chose
industries.
Example: The back bench didn't run the story about the baseball game.
Ir was spiked because the lead was boring and the whole thing
was basically filler. It wasn't a big surprise, considering chat the
writer is working on spec.
This is journalistic jargon. The 6ac.k bench refers to senior journalists who
make decisions about production. The feadis the first paragraph of a news story
and can make or break the whole piece. Filler means rhar the piece was written
to fill gaps in the paper if there were any, but in this case the story was spiked
(not published). This isn't a surprise to the writer of the paragraph, however,
Plain St le 37
because the writer of the piece on the baseball game is working on spec, which
means that any stories they write are only used if the paper needs more space
filled.
Jargon is used to shorten the rime it takes to read and write industry-spe-
cific documents. Since your documents may be read by people with varying
levels of expertise in a number of technical industries, you should avoid using
Jargon.
The only time you should use jargon is when you know the word will be
easily understood by your intended audience and there is only one interpreta-
tion for the word chosen.
If you describe a specialized process, you can use specialized language, bur
you should use the technical term rather than an industry-specific word.
Most of the time, however, choose a familiar word over a complicated one.
Even better, choose words that your readers can picture in their minds.

CORRECTNESS
Maintain your authority as a writer by using correct grammar. Technical
readers may question your professionalism if they read a document riddled with
grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, or typos.
This textbook doesn't have enough space to cover every grammatical issue
char you might encounter in your writing career. (Nore: Some of the principles
from previous sections are also grammatical ntles.) This section will present
some common grammar issues. At the end of the chapter, there are exercises
provided so that you can practice diagnosing and fixing these errors on your
own.

Comma Splices
A comma splice occurs when two sentences that can stand separately are
separated by a comma. The resulting sentence is long and uncomfortable.
To fix the sentence, replace the comma with a period or remove the comma
and add a coordinating conjunction. The coordinating conjunctions arefar, and,
nor, but, or, yet, and so. The mnemonic device to remember coordinating con-
j unctions is "fanboys:•

Incorrect: A new motor replaced the pulley system, its state-of-the-art


design has cut energy losses by a large percentage.
Correct ( with a period): A new motor replaced the pulley system. Its
state-of the-art design has cut energy losses by a large per-
centage.
Correct ( with a coordinating conjunction): A new motor replaced the
pulley system, and its state-of-the-art design has cur energy
losses by a large percentage.
38

Misplaced and Dangling Modifiers


Misplaced modifiers are descriprive phrases rhar appear to modify rhe
wrong noun due to their placement in a sentence.
Incorrect: Now sodden with gravy, Maury are rhe stale baking powder
biscuits.
Correct: Maury are the stale baking powder biscuits, now sodden with
gravy.

In rhe incorrect example, rhe modifier sodden with gravy appears to alter the
subject : Maury. The correct sentence makes it clear that rhe biscuits are sodden,
nor Maury.
D angling modifiers create confusion because they modify a nou n that's
nor in rhe sentence.

Incorrect: After reading the new book, the movie is sure to be great.
Correct: After I read the new book, I was convinced rhar the film adap-
tation would be great.

In the incorrect example, it sounds like rhe movie has j ust read rhe new
book. Since rhe movie is an inanimate object and can't read, rhe sentence must
include a subject to clarify its meaning.

Hyphens
Hyphens can be a tricky p unctuation, and it doesn't help that some words
that seem like they should be hyphenated aren't and vice versa.
Examples:

Antipasto Cooperate Tirleless


Anti-proliferation Co-parent Nineteenth-century
Because the conventions of spelling change over rime, it's best to check a
good dictionary to find our the current status of a word. There are certain rimes
when you always use a hyphen, such as in a compound adjective srrucrure. This
occurs when rwo words work together to describe a noun, and rhe compound
structure should always come before rhe noun.

Examples:
A well-known actress The ear-splitting racker
These sugar-free drinks His solar-powered home

If the descriptors come o/ferthe no un, no hyphen is used.


Examples:

The actress was well known. The racker was ear splitting.
These drinks aren't sugar free. His home is solar powered.
Plain St le 39
Never use a hyphen wirh an adverb ending in - /y.

Incorrect: Her daughter is poorly-dressed.


Incorrect: Her son is smartly-dressed.
There are other rules for hyphen usage, many of which are covered in
Appendix A: Puncniarion Guide.

Pronoun Agreement
Pronouns include words like he, she, it, they, and we. Possessive pronouns
like his, hers, its, theirs, and ours are used to indicate possession. Pronouns must
agree with the number and gender of the original noun.
Incorrect: One should always brush his or her reerh. (Because one is
genderless, it can't be rhe antecedent for the gendered his or
her.]
Correct: One should always brush one's teeth.
Correct: People should always brush their teeth.
Incorrect: Payday loans should only be used as a last resort. It can ruin
your credit score.
Correct: Payday loans should only be used as a last resort. They can
ruin your credit score.

Wirh pronouns, it's also important to avoid ambiguity. A misidentified


pronoun can change rhe meaning of a whole sentence or paragraph and will
frustrate your readers.
Ambiguous: If husbands knew more abour how their wives communicate,
they would be happier. (Does tho/refer to husbands or wives?]
Better: Husbands would be happier if they knew more abour how
their wives communicate.
Ambiguous: The university's policy makes it the guilty party, not the sm-
denrs. (Does ti' refer ro rhe university or rhe policy?]
Better: The university, nor rhe smdenrs, is guilty because of its policy.
Ambiguous: Especially critical to Hitler's early success were his invasion of
Poland, reclaiming of the Sudetenland, and quiet annexation
of Austria. This strengthened his power base. (What exactly
does thisrefer to?]
Better: Especially critical to Hider's success were his invasion of
Poland, reclaiming of the Sudetenland, and quiet annexation
of Austria. All three actions strengthened his power base.
40
Co mmonly Misused Wo rds
The following words represent a small sampling of common errors that a
word processor's spellcheck may not catch because it doesn't know what you're
trying to say. Technology can do a lot to help a writer, bur it's still up to you to
know what you're trying to say, to pick the right words, and to make sure your
meaning is clear to your audience.

Less versus Fewer


Less refers to objects or concepts char can't be counted individually (like
liquids), while fewer is used for countable items.

Incorrect: I had fewer rime to finish my homework this week.


Correct: I had less rime to finish my homework this week.

Incorrect: I are less cookies than anyone else at the parry.


Correct: I are fewer cookies than anyone else at the parry.

Less is also used when talking about individual items that rend to be
grouped into one bulk amount.
Example: I don't rake an airplane ifl am traveling less than five hundred
miles.
Example: I make less than eight dollars an hour.

Lay versus Lie


To understand the difference between these verbs, it's important to under-
stand the difference between transitive and intransitive verbs.
Transitive verbs rake an object, as in "I maintained product quality." In this
sentence, product quality is the object. "I maintained" doesn't make sense on its
own.
Conversely, intransitive verbs don't take objects. "Water evaporates" doesn't
require an object, and in fact, adding one would be incorrect.
However, many verbs can be used as both transitive and intransitive verbs,
depending on what you want to say.
Lay is a transitive verb rhar means to put or place something. Ir requires an
object, as in,"She lays the sample in the container:' The past tense of lay is laid:
"She laid the containers in a row on the table:•
Lie is an intransitive verb that means to assume a resting or horizontal
position. Ir can't rake an object. 'The nurse lies on the couch after her long shift:'
The past tense oflie is lay: "The sleep su bject lay awake for hours'.'
Plain St le 4 I
Affect versus Effect
Because affect and effect are pronounced similarly, they're often confused in
writing. The following definitions will help you distinguish between the rwo
words:
Affect is most commonly used as a verb. The word has three meanings:

1. To influence, especially emotions.


Example: The therapy did not qffect his behavior in the intended way.

2. To pretend, imitate, feign, or fake.


Example: When chimps are in constant contact with humans, they
begin to '!!feet human gestures.

Affect also has a third definition as a noun that's mostly limited to medical,
psychological, and educational jargon:

3. An emotion or feeling associated with an idea or object.


Example: The participant showed inappropriate qffect when shown pic-
ntres of death and disease.

When used in this third sense, affect is pronounced wirh the stress on the
first syllable, and the a is pronounced rhe same as in can.

Effect is most commonly a noun, meaning:

1. An influence.
Example: The Federal Reserve ch airman's speech had a positive tjfocton
the stock market.

2. A result.
Example: Increased retention is an tjfoctof this reaching method.

3. Belongings (usually plural).


Example: The victim's personal tjfocts were gathered and placed in a plas-
tic bag.

.Effect can also be used as a verb which means to cause something to hap-
pen, to accomplish, or to achieve:
Example: The coup was tjfoctedby a small band of guerrillas.
Example: Though it was not easy, rhe therapy tjfocted a lasting change in
her behavior.
When used as a verb, tjfoctconnores a sense of completion or absoluteness,
not merely partial success. So, in the above example about the band of guerrillas
effecting a coup, rhe meaning is that they achieved their aim totally. In other
words, rhe coup was tjfoctive.
To sum up, qffect is usually a verb; tjfoctis almost always a noun, as in these
sentences:
42

His pleas didn't effect her.


His pleas had no tjfect on her.
They were t1n4fectedby the stimulus.
The stimulus had no tjfecton them.

Abbreviations: i.e. and e.g.


Two of the more commonly confused Larin borrowings are i.e. and e.g.
They're abbreviations for id est, which means "that is;• and exempli gratia, which
means "for example;• respectively. When you must choose which to use, simply
substimre the English translation for each and you should be able to choose the
right one.
Example: The psychologist differentiated between distress and eusrress,
i.e., stress that is harmfol and stress that is productive of good.
(The meaning desired is "rhar is:']

Example: Despite their human rights violations, the U.S. has continued
to trade with some repressive countries, e.g., China and Cam-
bodia. (The meaning desired is "for example:']
Notice that when i.e. and e.g. are used, there is a period after each lerrer of
the abbreviation. Also, there is always a comma following each abbreviation.

Persuasive style doesn't merely inform-it also persuades your audience


to act or think in a particular way. In technical writing. not all persuasive meth-
ods are appropriate. For example, it would not be appropriate to use emotional
manipulation to airer your readers' opinions. However, three methods rhar
work in technical writing are persuading with logic, examples and evidence, and
values.

PERSUADE WITH LOGIC


Use deductive or inductive logic to persuade your readers toward a partic-
ular course of action. In a persuasive context-as in an informative context-
it's inappropriate to leave out relevant information that doesn't support your
argument.
However, when you're seeking to persuade rather than merely inform, you
can explain the significance of the information you present with moves like the
following:

• Argue rhar specific causes lead to specific effects.


• Offer a choice between two options.
Persuasive St le 4 3
• Explain costs and benefits of the siruarion.
• Argue that your course of action is better than an alternative.

Example: Better workforce management will result in better behavior


from employees. Specifically, the new email system will keep
managers informed of trends in tardiness, absences, and sick
days, so that they can better respond to employees on a case-
by-case basis. The current system is haphazard. The ream
leads generally receive information over the telephone with
the correct information rarely being relayed to the appropri-
ate managers. Additionally, none of rhe information is saved,
making it nearly impossible to reliably review employee per-
formance. The current system gives employees the freedom
to abuse company policies and prevents managers from hold-
ing employees accoum:able. The email system will be a writ-
ten record, in one location, to which managers can refer. The
existence of such a record will also encourage employees to be
more accountable for attendance and puncmaliry at work.

Logical Fallacies
In order to really persuade your readers, it's important to avoid logical falla-
cies. A fallacy is an error in reason, which causes your audience to question your
credibiliry. Below are some common fallacies with examples of how they might
appear in technical writing. You may nor be familiar with these genres now, bur
you can return to this section at any rime and refresh your memory so you can
avoid committing these fallacies in your own writing.

Begging the Question


This fallacy is also known as rhe circular argument fallacy. Ir depends on a
questionable claim as the backbone of rhe argument, as in,"The project will nor
be done in rime because it will rake longer than the project should rake:· This
begs rhe question as to how long rhe project should rake to finish, so rhe argu-
ment isn't logically sound as to why rhe project will be finished !are.

Couse and Effect


This fallacy rakes two unrelated facts or occurrences and says that because
one of them came about after rhe other, then rhe first one caused rhe second:
"Katrina was hired just before the break-in, so Katrina caused rhe break-in:•
In incident reports where you must give background information on what
happened, you have to make sure that every event is explained in derail to
show your reader what happened instead of making assumptions or baseless
accusanons.
44
Either/Or
Also known as false dilemma, this fallacy presents rwo alternatives as the
only options-if you don't choose one then you must choose the other: "If you
don't follow our plan to save the company, you will be bankrupt by the end of
the year:• As you'll learn later in this book, there is a section in proposals where
you explain to the person or organization the effects of not taking action as you
suggest, but overblown claims like bankruptcy won't add to your credibility and
will show rhar you-and by extension your organization-are poor logicians.

Hasty Generalization
If you base your conclusions on only a small sample size or a tiny amount
of data, you could be committing this fallacy. If you wrote, "All the literature
showed that sentencing software is viewed favorably" when you only reviewed
two papers on the subject, you would be committing the fallacy of hasty
generalization.

Red Herring
This fallacy is committed when you bring in an irrelevant question or
piece of information to avoid dealing with the real issue or to distract attention
from the real dilemma, as in, "We are over the budget by ten thousand dollars,
bur the original budget was an arbitrary number rhar was arrived at without a
great deal of thought. The budget should've been prepared and overseen by top
executives rather than the project manager." In a progress report, going over
budget-and by ten thousand dollars-is a major problem. If you misdirect
attention from the fact that you are over budget by focusing attention on how
the budget was created, you're committing the red herring fallacy.

PERSUADE WITH EXAMPLES AND EVIDENCE


Use specific instances of a phenomenon to aid the audience in understand-
ing your argument. Readers rend to understand abstract ideas better when they
can picmre an example or are presented with multiple pieces of evidence.
There are several kinds of examples and evidence rhar can be used:

• Hypothetical examples explained in relatable terms


• Personal experiences ( where appropriate)
• Empirical observations
• Dara generated from experiments
• Measurements
• Quotes from experts

Example: Radon testing and mitigation are vital concerns if you own a
home with a finished 'basement. You can test for radon with
Persuasive St le 45
an at-home testing kit, available at most h ardware stores. If
the radon level is hig h, you should install a radon mitiga-
tion system to protect your family from exposure. While I
was growing up, my family lived in a home with a radon miti-
gation system char had been installed by the previous owners,
who had also built che house. The system consisted of a PVC
pipe which ran from che foundation our through che roof.
Such a system is typically unsightly, bur ours was in a base-
ment bedroom where few people would ever see it. Installing
the system yourself might be che most cost-effective option, as
long as you do it correctly. No matter how or where you install
ic, having a radon mitigation system is essential if the radon in
your home is above an acceptable level. Years of exposure can
lead to cancer and other lung problems, particularly if anyone
in the home smokes. While serving as United States Surgeon
General, Richard Carmona issued a statement char included
the statistic that more than rwenry thousand Americans die
of radon-related lung cancer each year. (http://sosradon.org/
radon-advisory-story)

PERSUADE WITH VALUES


Values are your audience's beliefs or judgments about what is important.
Persuading with values means srruccuring your argument to mention values
char your audience has and emphasizing that your proposed course of action
will either fulfill those values or prevent something else from opposing those
values. In elections, values-based persuasion is often used to encou rage voters
to case ballots in favor of someone and against someone else. In a TV ad from
the 1952 presidential campaign of Dwight Eisenhower, che commercial ends
with a male voice saying, "Now is the rime for all good Americans co come to
the aid of their country." This sentence was well known at the rime from an
exercise in a book on how to u se a rypewricer, bur che words themselves are
attributed to Patrick Henry. The values appealed to here are patriotism and
principle. The implied argument is char if you're as patriotic as Patrick Henry
and a good American, you would vote for Eisenhower. In a technical context,
your colleagues may place scientific objectivity as a core value. In char case, your
technical writing should emphasize objectivity to appeal to their values. This
method works because people crust chose who have che same values and beliefs
as them.

Example: D r. McCloud's study is groundbreaking and contains new


information on the causes of climate change. The data on
which he based his analysis was gathered over the course of
five years from labs around the country. Dr. McCloud excluded
himself from the data-collection process because he has built
46

his career around a position of natural-causes global warming


and he wished the data to be free from any internal bias. Only
once rhe data had been collected and sent to other scientists
on different sides of the issue did Dr. McCloud begin working
on his analysis.
Using your knowledge of an audience's values to help persuade them
doesn't mean you should abandon your personal values to appeal to theirs. Your
audience will likely be able to tell if you're forcing an argument that you don't
truly believe in. Ir's effective to refer to values rhar are shared by both you and
the audience. For example, this student, when writing a proposal to review how
earthquakes are predicted, wrote rhe following:

"Throughout the world, devastating earthquakes occur with little or no


advance warning. Some of these earthquakes kill hundreds of people. If the
times, magnitudes, and locations of these earthquakes could be accurately pre-
dicted, many lives could be saved" (Gray 1995).

The student made an appeal to the value of the importance of human life
and preserving it. This is a value that's likely held by all who would read his
proposal.

Sryle is the way you present information to your audience. In technical


writing, you can use plain or persuasive style to inform or persuade your audi-
ence. Writing with style means that you're intentional about how you commu-
nicate in the final step of the writing process, which will be discussed in the next
chapter.

Exercise 2. 1 No minalizations
Revise the following sentences. Simp lify verbs, remove nominalizarions,
and make sure rhe sentences use subjects rhar are actors (nor compound
nominalizarions).

1. This book argues that a clear, readable sryle is rhe most accessible, therefore
the most democratic. (Hint: books can't argue.)
2. The investigation sought to determine if there were identifiable factors that
significantly differentiated the two sub-populations of college students.
3. A thorough and objective review of the findings expresses support for
Smith's theory.
Suggested Exercises 47
4 . Early surveys consistently demonstrated lower self-confidence among ado-
lescent girls than among boys.
5. Role-centered perspective and social learning theory argue that siruarion
and role are better predictors of behavior than personality.
6. A review of rhe lirerarure pertaining to shame as it contrasts to guilt under-
scores the distinctions.
7. This study examines the role of imagination in children's development of
moral reasoning.
8. Table 2 compares the mean scores of the two treatment groups.
9. Jantzen's research interprets rhe causes of marital dissatisfaction.
10. The federal program found that local direction and participation were viral
to its success.
11. Figure 1 argues for increased attention to srudent writing in the first year
of college.

Exercise 2.2 Trans itions


Use transition words or phrases from rhe following bank to fill in the blanks in
the paragraph.

Furthermore Again However Thus


So In addition As well as Because
In spite of Inasmuch as As long as For this reason
And Consequently In fact Obviously

_____ efforts to mitigate rhe negative effects, we feel that rhe sirua-
tion has developed beyond what our resources can accommodate, _ _ __
_ _ _ _ _ _ we advise that you immediately request more technicians trans-
ferred to this location, _____ another incident like last week's may trigger
a complete shutdown of the facility. _ _ _ _ _ these technicians will nor be
trained and ready to assist for a period of time, and _______ we recom-
mend a temporary reduction of all but essential laboratory functions to keep as
many trained staff available as possible to assist in cases of critical need.

Exercise 2.3 Parallelism


Rewrite rhe following sentences so rhar they're appropriately parallel.

1. During the break, each group creates a presentation, presenting to another


small group, and gives feedback.
2. Each process needs development, to integrate, and to adapt.
3. Because of fiscal circumstances, it is important not only to implement
other resources, but also conserving current funds.
48
4 . Ir would have even more far-reaching effects. In retrospect, rhis has proven
to be of great consequence.

Exercise 2.4 Comma Splices


Determine whether each of the following contain comma splices. If so, rewrite
rhe example twice, once using a period. and another rime using a comma and
coordinating conjunction to correct the error.

1. The army officers increased recruitment efforts, rhey did nor meet their
goals.
2. Blessed are all rhey rhar mourn, rhey shall be comforted.
3. Freshmen can choose to live on campus, or rhey can choose to live off
campus.
4 . The committee promised to meet rhe deadline, rhey finished their work
rwo days early.
5. He often complained about the hypocrisy of others, he seldom kept his
promises.
6. The reacher pitied the snidenrs' heavy load, she gave them an extra week to
finish their term papers.
7. He doesn't return phone calls, and !he doesn't reply to e-mails.
8. The drought-stricken ranchers prayed for rain, rhe rain poured down in
storm after storm.
9. Everyone hoped for a large raise, no one was surprised when rhe raises were
small.
10. We won't ever finish unless we stare, let's get starred.

To avoid comma splices and other punctuation errors, read your sentences
aloud. Where you must pause for a breath, add a punctuation mark. In techni-
cal writing, it's better to over-punctuate than under-punctuate.

Exercise 2.5 Misplaced and Dangling Mod ifiers


Rewrite each sentence to get rid of the misplaced or dangling modifier and clar-
ify the meaning.

1. Because of her dirty feet, Viola cleaned her dog.


2. Seeing a specialist, my headaches were getting better.
3. The city needs drivers for the buses that aren't old and angry.
4. While trying to clean the garage, Krista's key was lost.
5. Yolanda hit nearly twelve cars while driving through town.
6. Working our all the time, the program was tiring.
7. Wretched over her father's death, Roscoe comforted his sister.
Su ested Exercises 49
8. To have a relationship, Chris needs to communicate with me.
9. The Victorian home is a tourist trap when seeing rhe sigh rs.
10. He had a gas can in his truck rhar was full.

Exercise 2.6 Pronou n Agreement


Each of these sentences is unclear or incorrect because of pronoun-agreement
errors. Revise them for correctness and clarity.

1. The subway trains make stops ar Adams Srreer, 134th, and Lemley Way.
Each one is always crowded.
2. Joyce complained to Roger about his dog. He always did just what he
wanted.
3. Even though I spent all day cooking dinner, nobody are their food.
4. She loves to buy clothing and it angers her mother.
5. Nuclear threats spread from one country to another. They aren't going to
stop them.
6. Separate the end cap from the mbe and dispose of it.
7. Couples counseling was a necessary step for Michael and Tina, and their
relationship improved immensely. This had a big effect on their bank
account.
8. Though the show was performed outdoors, rhey were able to hear each
actor clearly.
9. Ariel cooked her sister a birthday dinner of cuisine from around the world.
This is typical, considering her love for foreign foods.
10. Everyone who goes to that school are attractive and intelligent.

Exercise 2.7 Commonly Misused Words


Fill in each blank with rhe appropriate form of the word.

1. In 7he Parliament efFowls, rhe narrator sees many human traits personi-
fied, __, Beauty, Wealth, Flattery, and Patience.
2. Before he left the room, he ____ rhe letter on the table.
3. One symptom of stress is insomnia,___ , the inability to sleep.
4. Antarctica has ______ people and ______ rainfall than any other
conrment.
5. Tiffany___ on her side to sleep because she was told ir's better for her
spme.
6. Rosa ran for student body president because she wanted to ___change
in the way minority groups were represented on campus.
50
7. The dog always brings me the rodents she has ki!!ed and _ _ them at my
feet.
8. One _ _ _ of stress is an inability to sleep.
9. According to the U.S. Federal Poverty Leve!, if a household of four people
makes ___ than $24,600 in a year, the household is in poverty.
10. Da!!in's performance in school ______ his ability to play in the
tournament.
11. 'Then;' said Scrooge, "I was the man who ____ upon the bedf'
12. An assistant's daily tasks include many things, ___, picking up lunch,
making phone ca!!s, filing paperwork, and shredding sensitive documents.
13. I failed the rest because I had _ _ _ hours to sleep this week.
14. The Encyclopedia Britannica lists three countries as making up Scandina-
via, ____, Norway, Sweden, and Denmark.
15. The after school programs in the inner city are rea!!y _ _ _ the children's
quality of life for the better.
16. The po!!s reported that _ _ _ people voted during this election than
during the election two years ago.

lltlllJ~{ltl
Gray, Christopher. ''A Proposal to Review How Geophysical Precursors Can Help
Predict Earthquakes:' February 1995. (http:/ /writing.engr.psu.edu/work-
books/proposal.samples.html.)
DESIGN THINKING AND THE
WRITING PROCESS

M ost novice writers think of the writing process as just one thing: writing.
However, working professionals know that there's a lot more to writing
than just sitting down and typing. This chapter is about a writing process that
draws heavily from design thinking to bring your writing ideas to life. Design
thinking is a creative strategy used by professionals who thoughtfully consider
how the produces they create will be used by real people. These produces can
range from scientific inventions to simple workplace practices like filing, but
they all aim co solve real-world issues.
The most important principle underlying professional and technical
communication is chat people come first. Or to say chis another way, readers
comes first. Journalise Janee Mizrahi explained, "Knowing the audience-your
reader-is imperative for successful writing.... In essence, we have to psych
our rhe reader to accomplish our writing goal. We cannot do char unless we
analyze the reader accurately" (4). The concept of"psyching out" the reader can
be boiled down to developing a reader profile.
Unfortunately, unlike in design chinking, professional writers rarely have a
pool of audience members they can interview, although it's recommended chat a
professional writer glean as much information as possible from external stake-
holders. The best alternative is to build an outline around reader needs. For
example, say a writer is composing an instruction manual for technicians who
perform repairs on industrial machinery. The writer needs to create an outline
of who these technicians are and how they' ll use rhe manual on the job. This

51
52 CHAPTER l ~_D_ES_IG_N_
TH_IN_K_
IN_
GA_NDTHEWRITING PROCESS

ourline should be written down so that the writer can refer back to it while he
or she is drafting. Doing so will ensure that the writer stays on topic and can
remember the readers' needs while writing.
The design-centric model, derived from design thinking, is a nonlinear
approach to resolving business issues that aligns easily with efforts to write a
strong, professional piece of writing (see Figure 3.1). In this chapter, we will fol-
low the same basic principles of the design-centric model as we work to under-
stand audience needs, explore without limitations, and materialize a document
to meet the needs of those readers. Whether it be constructing a pogo stick or
resolving a major public relations faux-pas, the end user must be at rhe center
of your process.

Provide t he finishing touches. Step into your reader's shoes.


Look for punctuation. active What pain do t hey need
voice, verb agreement, diction. solved?

Revise
Ask whether t he examples and
Cyclical Define Purpose @
Ask w hether ,our document is
details a lign w ith the overall created to inform, persuade.
purpose. Revisions argue. propose. reject or approve.

Draft Outline
Build your solution. Get Visualize as many ideas as you
enough down to get feedback. have to fall upon a solution
you like.

Figure 3.1
Understand: Empathtforthe Reader 53

Design thinking is broken down into three main iterative steps: under-
stand, explore, and materialize. We'll look at each step in that order. When
solving a customer issue, for example, a design ream won't fall back on srarisri-
cal data or imaginary consumers, bur instead will look for real consumers and
use observations and survey data to understand them. A ream might begin by
smdying consumer habits, all the while working to better understand who the
consumers are and what they need. Understanding needwill be the first import-
ant step in your writing process to craft effective technical documents. In writ-
ing, we call this an ability to empathize with your reader. Bur how is ir done?
Many people consider empathy to be a mainly emotional word, bur it also
works as a way of more deeply understanding the needs of a reader. Empathy
starts by asking questions and ends with carefully listening. Writers want to
know as much as they can before they work to inform or persuade readers. In a
way, writers who engage in empathy are namrally curious about their readers.
Being curious about rather than afraid of readers is perhaps rhe best way to
develop empathy and understanding. You begin by asking important questions:
what do potential readers care about? What do they expect from this docu-
ment? Why do they need this document? What problem(s) does this document
need to solve for them? Where and when might they use this document? Once
you've posed these questions, it's rime to listen carefully to what your readers
have to say. Often, people will answer questions you didn't think to ask as they
explain their needs and circumstances, bur they can expect rhar you, as a profes-
sional, will incorporate everything they say into a better document. Keep asking
questions until you have a solid sense of why readers might need your piece of
communication.
If you don't have direct access to your readers, as mentioned at the start
of this chapter, you must learn to use your imagination and place yourself in
your readers' shoes. Try to answer each of the above questions as if you were
an audience member. You may need to do some research about siruarions and
needs generally, even if you can't get specific derails. Getting a sense of reader
needs requires rime, bur it's rime well spent.
You can write much more effective technical documents if you under-
stand the needs and wants of your audience. Let's continue thinking about the
aforementioned repair technicians and answer the questions from the previous
section.
• What do the technicians care about? They probably care about maintaining
their professional reputations and improving their pay.
• What do they expect from this document? They expect clarity and effi-
ciency in the writing, as well as enough derail so that there is no question
about whether they completed a step before moving on to the next.
54 CHAPTER l ~ _D_
ESI_GN_T_HI_NK_ING AND THEWRITING PROCESS

, Connect display Connect input


If not using H DMI, Plug in a USS keyboard
plug in your analogue and mouse
TV or display
◄O

0
• Connect network
Connect to your wired
network [optional I

Raspberry Pi ~
H lnsert SD card Quick start ~
See page 3 for how to
prep a re the SD card Slltul

Power up Connect display


Plug in the micro USS Plug in your digital TV
power supply or monitor

Figure 3.2. Instructions for the Raspberry Pi. The audience of the instructions is people
who intend to use a Raspberry Pi. To understand who uses the Raspberry Pi, it helps to
understand a little about the product itself. The Raspberry Pi is a very small computer,
which is not expensive: the motherboard costs about $35 and accessories range from
$5- $60. However, Raspberry Pi is a niche company that is not well-known to a general
audience. The original intent of the company was to provide inexpensive computers to
developing countries to help students learn basic programming skills. However, in devel-
oped countries, most people who buy the computer already have interest and skill in
programming. They tend to use the Raspberry Pi as an additional developing tool, along
with their personal computers.
Note how knowing a bit about the Raspberry Pi itself has already led to demographic
and psychographic information. You've learned that users in developing countries tend
to use the computer to learn basic skills and users in developed countries tend to use the
computer to develop existing skills. You know that users in developed countries likely
have some disposable income to spend on an extra computer. These users are also likely
self-motivated to use the computer, either from an eagerness to learn or a genuine er9oy-
ment of programming.
The authors use all this information to tailor the product description to the needs of
their audience. They know their users don't want to spend a lot of time reading instruc-
tions, but want a brief and thorough overview of the computer that they can refer to if
they get lost or confused. The description uses brief sentences and clear visuals to meet
those needs.

• Why do they need this document? The technicians need an instructional


manual in order to complete repairs as quickly and correctly as possible.
• What problem(s) does this document need to solve for them? The imme-
diate problem is whatever repair they're making, bur they may come across
Understand: Empathtfor the Reader 55
other issues, which you must anticipate. For example, what should rhey
do if something else breaks during rhe repair? Providing troubleshooting
guides is necessary for writing instructions.
• When and where might rhey use this document? They might be reading
your words in low-light or while standing in an awkward position. Is your
font large enough? Are your words simple and concise enough ro be read
in one sentence and remembered it as rhe technicians look away from the
manual to make rhe repair?
Your design and organization of rhe manual can either help or hinder your
readers in their task. For rhe repair technicians, you may decide ro organize rhe
manual with the most common technical problems at the front. Or perhaps
you arrange rhe manual according to rhe individual parts of rhe mechanism,
with troubleshooting placed after descr iptions of the parts. If the technicians
bring the manual on sire ro use as they make repair, rhen your organizational
choices could be different. You might also need ro write shorter instructions
so the manual stays portable. Imagine that you are a technician trying ro get
through all your repair appointments in a day and create rhe manual you'd need
robe a successful employee. In essence, have empathy for your readers.
I've seen far roo many writing teams fail because they never rook rhe rime
robe curious about their intended audience. Begin each writing project by ask-
ing who your readers are and what their needs might be. Then rake rime ro lis-
ten ro your readers if you have access to them or place yourself in your readers'
shoes as you answer empathetic questions. Shift attention away from your own
assumptions and personal preferences.
Some writers even develop audience profiles. A profile includes informa-
tion about your readers' goals, shared values, attitudes, and needs. If you have
a broad audience you may need do research. Figure our rhe demographics and
psychographics of your audience. Demographics show rhe statistical data of a
population. Thar information includes useful data such as rhe age range, aver-
age income, gender, education level, geographic location, health conditions, and
marital srarus. Psychographics explain the mindset of an audience. Thar infor-
mation describes behavior, desires, habits, fears, lifestyle, and problems faced.
You can use demographic information to infer psychographic information. For
example, a woman of a low socioeconomic srams without a college education
who is living in a rural area is probably more focused on thinking about how
ro make money to keep her family together than the eloquence of rhe language
she's reading. If she is your audience, you'll need to make sure your word choices
are simple and rhar each sentence moves her forward as a reader ro rhe next
piece of information, because she'll have less patience than others for long-
winded explanations or wordy descriptions of simple processes.
Avoid using biased or judgmental language ro describe readers, even in your
own mind, since that can bleed into your document. If you allow negative atti-
tudes in your audience profile, you may write a document rhar's unintentionally
56 CHAPTER l ~_D_ES_IG_N_
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disrespectful or condescending. Maintain a professional relationship with your


readers ar all rimes, even in rhe way you chink.

The next seep in chis design-centric model is exploration, or looking for


many possible solutions to meet a reader's particular needs. Divergent means
different, contrasting, or unalike. Don't be afraid to consider radically different
solutions for your writing problem, even if rhey seem to conflict with each ocher.
Ernest Hemingway once said that he chose to "write drunk" bur"edit sober;• the
sentiment being that one should try and create unhindered but revise with care.
Along chis line, you should rest the boundaries of your writing: imagine ideas
without assuming rhey need to obey certain rules. Lee yourself be free to imag-
ine or conceive of something new. The concept design thinkers seem to live by
is no idea is too snipid to be rested and follows the principle char even simple
ideas can develop into powerful solutions to problems when allowed to grow.
For example, I just offered two radically different organizational srraregies
for rhe technician repair manual. Boch options are equally viable in a final doc-
ument, but there might be another organizational strategy that would work
even better char I haven't yer considered. Writers need to be willing to try any
strategy and throw out ideas that don't work for their readers, even if they've
invested significant time and energy into a single strategy.

The next step is, frankly, for the writer to fail. For design thinkers, char
means they construct their best ideas out of cheap materials: plywood, popsicle
sticks, Elmer's Glue, and so on. For writers, we call this process creating, or
materializing, a rough draft. Never assume that your first draft will be your final
draft. Mizrahi explains, "A first draft is one of several scabs you'll take at chis
work.... Your goal at this stage of the writing process for both short and longer
documents is to put something down on paper ( or the screen) char you will
revise later. Ir's a waste of your valuable time to labor over any individual word
or sentence as you write your draft; the word or sentence may be eliminated by
the final version'.'
The whole point of drafting is experimentation, and the more variants
you arrempr, rhe more duds you can eliminate in your writing. Similar to rhe
principle of building several prototypes, writers can experiment with syntactic
approaches to an idea without limiting themselves by worrying about failure.
For example, I may find char an alphabetical approach doesn't work for repair
Materialize: Failure Is an O don 57
technicians. They may gee frustrated by an organization char doesn't read as
intuitive, which may make chem angry and careless as they attempt to make
repairs. If you find that an idea that you thought would work actually makes life
more difficult for your readers, you have a duty to revise until you have a draft
char helps rather than hinders chem.
By bringing your best ideas to life and resting chem with potential readers,
you'll learn quickly how to improve. Often, readers may chink they know what
they wane until they're confronted with it. In rhe design world, when given a
prototype that meets their specifications, users often discover new problems
or issues with their initial concerns. Do you see how chis might apply to writ-
ing? Particular stakeholders similarly might suggest a particular sec of ideas
be included in a draft, bur once they see those ideas integrated into rhe whole
document they quickly notice char their needs aren't being mer by rhe piece of
writing. Writers, like design reams, need co prepare themselves for when readers
dislike their first, second, or even third drafts. Bur each attempt provides more
information, more data to help solve the problem and address rhe need. Ir's
important to remember with writing to nor give up and to be okay with failing.
In real-life writing situations, the writing and editing phases may occur
nmltiple rimes throughout a project. The editing phase should focus on refining
the best ideas developed in the writing phase. A strong professional writer will
rake her or his efforts and rework chem, even removing entire sections char fail
co address the audience's needs. As you read over a draft, remember that it's
important to chink about your reader and purpose statement. Try to be honest
with yourself and ask if the writing responds effectively to the needs of the audi-
ence. If the writing doesn't seem effective, rake rime co edit.
Ir might help to think of editing a s revision, or simply making changes.
There are three basic levels of changes char professional writers make in the
editing phase: content revision, language revision, and proofreading. First, focus
on revising the content of your draft. Ir helps to imagine char you're a member
of your audience reading the material for the first rime. Try to forger everything
you know about the topic and read your draft with fresh eyes. Consider the log-
ical progression of your ideas. Will they make sense to audience members who
don't know as much about rhe topic as you do? Then chink about whether your
writing shows expertise. Do you use convincing evidence? Do you avoid logical
fallacies and bias? Your content should be as clear and convincing as possible.
Once you're satisfied with your ideas, it's rime to revise the language in your
draft. This step is what most students chink of when they hear the word edit-
ing. This process involves looking at individual paragraph, sentence, and word
choices, as well as the rransirions in-bet ween. Make sure the language you use
reflects rhe needs of your audience. For example, if you're writing co a technical
community, you should use technical words char are recognized by char commu-
nity. If you have a highly educated audience, you should use nuanced language
58 CHAPTER l ~_D_ES_IG_N_
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char still clearly expresses complex ideas. However, if you're writing to a general
audience, shorter sentences and plain diction are generally rhe berrer choice.
Lasrly, rake some rime to carefully proofread your draft, checking for
errors and typos. Proofreading is an integral step char shouldn't be overlooked,
since small errors can make writers who have otherwise excellent ideas appear
careless.
Don't stop the writing process until you have something great. After sev-
eral attempts, the writer and rest readers will find a draft that works, and rhe
content ream will be better prepared to edit the writing and introduce a new
technical document.
By following these three steps-Understand, Explore, and Material-
ize-you will be equipped with a writing process chat meets the needs of your
readers.

l«tllr.:.l~ll]~f.:.11[1]~
As a technical writer, you will at rimes be asked to collaborate with a ream
of ocher writers to create a document or similar produce. You may also be asked
to participate on reams char include members who aren't writers, bur who
approve rhe language and srrucrure of a document before it's distributed. For
these reasons and more, being able to work well with a ream is an essential skill
for the professional writing world.
Working well with ochers is nor only a necessary professional skill-it's
also a skill char can improve all aspects of your writing process. After all, design
chinking (which we have used to build our writing process model in chis chap-
ter) is, at its essence, a collaborative endeavor (Luchs, 2015, p. 1). If you look
again at the concepts of the design-centric model-Understand, Explore,
Materialize-you can see how each of these seeps can be enhanced by effective
collaboration.
Identifying the needs of your audience is a primary goal of the Under-
stand phase. Understanding is achieved through communication, observation,
research, and empathy. Do you see how empathy can be enhanced by looking
through the eyes of a diverse ream of individuals, with different strengths and
experiences? Recognizing and writing for different perspectives will help you
avoid incorrect assumptions about your audience.
In the Explore phase, the goal is co chink outside rhe box, coming up with
as many potential solutions co a problem as possible. This kind of deep brain-
storming can clearly be enhanced through collaboration, where assorted ideas
can build on each ocher. For example, I once participated in a ream char met at
a research and development company. A lead engineer was crying to come up
with a novel way of powering an elevator. During the meeting, he asked every-
one present-engineers, architects, machinists, interns, and writers-co draw
Collaboration 59
two different ideas for powering an elevator on rwo sticky notes. The only rule:
"anything goes:' The sticky notes were then all placed on a wall, where everyone
could observe the results. This led to further idea generation and creativity at
a level that couldn't have been achieved by any one of us alone. Collaboration
allows reams to benefit from collective intelligence and creativity.
The final step, Materialize, requires experimentation and revision. Input
from others, especially from members of your audience whenever possible, is
indispensable in the revision process. After receiving feedback through collabo-
ration, a document can be reworked and continually refined until it more closely
communicates its intended message. Clearly, working with others can improve
your writing and final product.
However, even if you theoretically understand why working in teams can
enhance your writing, and even if you've worked with reams in school or oth-
erwise participated in group work, the idea of ream work might intimidate or
discourage you. Perhaps you, like many scudenrs and professionals before you,
have had negative experiences with past team projects in which you have partic-
ipated. Maybe you've encountered lopsided workloads, slacking ream members,
personality clashes, scheduling conflicts, or a host of other issues. Perhaps you
recognize that these problems can only be exacerbated in a writing situation,
where group members must, in addition to working through the usual team
dynamics, also find a way to combine different writing sryles, voices, and ideas
together into a single, coherent document. More than likely, you recognize that,
given these circumstances, team writing projects can be fraught with potential
disaster.
Sometimes, due to poor planning, disaster is the only possible result.
At another point, I once worked as a manager for an organization that was
maintaining a multi-volume treatise about a particular area of law. A ream of
interns was assembled to try to prepare an updated edition of the treatise for
publication. Each intern was responsible for revising a portion of the treatise,
and I was responsible for directing the work, providing resources, and tying
everything together. We had frequent meetings to keep team members on the
same page. Everything went well until, one day, the director of the organization,
who had the final say bur who had chosen to be absenr during the entire plan-
ning process, surprised us by showing up to a meeting. With one statement,
he changed the entire goal of the project and derailed several months' worth of
work. Unforcunarely, bur unsurprisingly, the project fell apart and wasn't com-
pleted within the projected timeframe.
You could probably share a few similar horror stories of your own. How-
ever, if you think about it, you can probably also share one or rwo team success
stories. You've probably experienced a rime- if nor in school, then at home, at
work, or on the playing field-when everyone on a ream came together to do
something that no individual could've done alone. You likely have experienced
60 CHAPTER l ~_D_ES_IG_N_
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an instance of true synergy, when 1 + 1 hasn't equaled 2, bur 3 or 10 or more.


What makes the difference between horror and success stories?
Well, though there might be numerous reasons why any team fails to tap
into its synergistic potential, most that fail have simply neglected to plan for
success. The good news is that most negative team outcomes are entirely pre-
ventable with proper planning and organization. Taking time to plan and pre-
pare at the beginning of a project will make you more likely to harness and
direct the potential of your team from beginning to end. Below are some sug-
gestions for team planning in the early stages that can help you to achieve the
full benefits of collaboration.

I. D EFINING T EAM ROLES


After your team is formed, one of the first things you need to do is to
define team roles. All team members should contribute to the core content of a
project, but each one should also be given a defined role to oversee. Be creative
in identifying the roles that team members will play. Some common examples
of ream roles are a team leader, a secretary, a researcher, a designer, and an edi-
tor. However, based on your project and the skills of team members, you might
also want a statistician, an interviewer, or any number of other possible roles.
Sometimes your roles will be defined for you, bur don't let titles limit your cre-
ativity in meeting the needs of your team and assignment. Also, if any role is not
working for your group dynamic, don't hesitate to re-evaluate and reassign roles.
As you define and assign team roles, take an inventory of the strengths and
weaknesses of your group members. Be open about your weaknesses, but don't
focus on them. Instead, capitalize on your strengths. For example, a group in
one class was required to create a document that required both drawings and
an accompanying specification. Because one ream member had computer-aided
drafting (CAD) experience, this group member volunteered to take charge of
the drawings. Another member, who was a strong writer, volunteered to give the
specification a final edit. One member who had some design experience helped
design the layout of the document. Their final document was much stronger
because it built upon each ream member's strengths.
If you choose to have a group leader, keep a few things in mind. You'll likely
have several group members who are skilled mangers and could be excellent
group leaders. Don't let this become a point of conflict. As the old saying goes,
"Too many cooks spoil the broth:' Leadership is a desirable quality in everyone,
bur true leaders know there's a rime to lead and a time to follow. As you choose
a group leader, make sure it's someone who has the necessary time and energy
to devote to the project. Also, make sure the leader has the proper vision and
motivation to direct your team.
Collaboration 6 I

2. CLAR IFYING PURPOSE AND SETTING GOALS


An important step of any team project is establishing a unified vision of
your purpose and the plan rhar will help you accomplish it. Even if your project
is assigned, and you think you have a good idea of what the desired end product
should be, you might be surprised by how different that product looks in the
minds of your ream members, especially in large groups. For example, when you
hear rhe word tree, you probably have a clear idea of what rhar word means.
Bur what do you see in your mind: a towering pine tree? A sturdy oak tree? A
fruit-laden apple tree? A breezy palm tree? The answer is likely different for
ream members who come from different backgrounds-and the same is likely
true of the picture they have in their head of your final product. For this rea-
son, it's best to talk it our. Discuss what you are trying to accomplish. Define
your purpose. Many organizations do this by drafting some sort of mission or
vision statement. Review any requirements or sriptilarions provided by outside
sources. Review examples of similar products that others have created. Discuss
what your final product will look like, how long it will be, when it will be fin-
ished, and so on.
After you've defined your purpose, create a plan. Do this by setting goals.
Don't focus only on the final product. Break the project into pieces. Think of all
of the preliminary steps rhar will be necessary and set goals for how and when
you'll accomplish them. As your project progresses, some of your expectations
and goals will most likely change; don't be afraid to adjust your plan to meet the
realities of the work as it confronts you. However, keep setting goals and ensure
rhar your purpose is clearly in mind from beginning to end.

3. C REATING A SCHEDULE AND


PARTICIPATING IN TEAM MEETINGS
After you've clarified your purpose and created an action plan of steps to
accomplish it, make your plan real by creating a schedule. Determine a project
completion dare. If you have a mandatory due date imposed by somebody else,
don't plan to finish exacrly on rhar due dare. Rather, aim for an earlier rime
so rhar you'll have a buffer reserved for final revisions or for adjustments if or
when things rake longer than planned. After you have determined your final
due dare, schedule due dares for each of your preliminary steps as well. Be real-
istic as you consider rhe amount of rime rhar each step will rake.
Besides scheduling due dares, also plan rime for regular ream meetings.
The frequency of your ream meetings isn't nearly as important as the regu-
larity. Find a day and a rime that everyone is available to meet, set a regular
schedule, and stick to it. This way, there will not be any ambiguity. Be reliable
in attending your meetings. Of course, there are circumstances that may pre-
vent you or another ream member from joining one or two of rhe meetings.
62 CHAPTER l ~_D_ES_IG_N_
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Be understanding and flexible. Assume your ream members' best intentions.


If possible, consider using one of the myriad technological means available to
allow absent ream members to participate remotely. Ir's also a good idea to have
somebody rake notes during each meeting to send to everyone afterward. This
will help everyone remember what was discussed, and it'll also help those who
might be absent to keep abreast of the ream's progress.
Don't waste rime during meetings. Have an agenda ( which is generally pre-
pared by the team leader) determined ahead of time. If you're working with a
group of people you didn't know previously, take time in the beginning to intro-
duce each other. Building ream rapport will pay dividends later on. However,
don't waste rime in subsequent meetings with gossip and side conversations
about sports or children or other tangential topics. Such conversations can rake
place outside of your regular meeting rimes. Alternatively, short team-building
time can be scheduled into the agenda. Either way, be sure that the main focus
in each meeting is to report on and evaluate progress, set goals, and assign tasks.
Each team member should have a clear idea of what to accomplish before the
next meeting when you adjourn.

4. COMMUNICATING AND M AKING RULES


No matter how many ream meetings you have, you'll probably find that
you'll need to communicate with some or all of your ream members outside of
meetings. Therefore, when your group is first formed, discuss what means you'll
use to communicate with each other and exchange contact information. You
might choose to communicate by email; by telephone, including group texts; or
via social media platforms. You should also discuss how to collaborate and share
documents. There are a number of shared workspaces or shared storage spaces
available that make the process increasingly convenient. Some of the most com-
mon are Google Docs, Microsoft SharePoint, Dropbox, and Trello. You can
find numerous other options online. Find one that's easy to use and that all the
members of your team are familiar with. If you are unable to meet frequently-
or ever-in person, you can also discuss using videoconferencing software such
as Skype or Zoom.
Besides deciding how you will communicate, you'll also likely want to set
a few ground rules for your team. For example, how will you make decisions
or resolve conflicts: by majority or supermajority vote, or does the team leader
get the final say? What will you do if a ream member fails to complete assigned
tasks or becomes frequently truant? Will you report the ream member to an
authority? Have a team meeting to discuss the problem and reassign tasks, or
have one member of your group reach out to identify the problem and report
back to the group? Anticipating and _preparing for some of these scenarios
upfront will save you from scrambling m find ways to resolve problems under
the pressure of looming deadlines later.
Collaboration 63

5. BEING A TEAM PLAYER


The key to every team's success is its members. When team members are
committed to the team vision, fu!fi.[1 their roles, communicate effectively, and do
their best to accomplish their assigned tasks in a timely manner, reams genera!ly
run smoothly and succeed in accomplish ing their goals. As you work with your
team, work to be a ream member who does these things. Then show patience
and give encouragement as other members do their best to fulfi.[1 their respon-
sibilities as well.
Listen to understand. Learn to communicate openly and honestly, but give
feedback in a kind and respectful way. Ask questions before making negative
assumptions. Compliment team members when they do well. Always try to be
the kind of ream member you would liike to work with. When things don't go
perfectly, ask yourself what you've learned about ream-work that you can imple-
ment in forure co!laborative experiences.
Co!laboration with others has the potential to enhance your writing pro-
cess. Though teamwork comes with greater risks of failure-as with most risky
endeavors-the potential gains are much higher as well. By understanding the
benefits of collaboration in writing and by following the ideas in this chapter to
help you plan and organize ream projects, you' [! be prepared to turn discourag-
ing group-work activities into fulfi.!ling ream accomplishments.

Mizrahi,Janet. Writingfor the Workplace : Business Communication for Professionals,


2005.
Design thinking - what, how, why, when? I Pawel Zebrowski ITEDxSzczecinLive,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q80wUnju5YA&t=479s. Accessed 27
October, 2017.
"Design Thinking- Online Webinar: Method, not Magic:• Stanfordonline. https://
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSuK2C 89yjA&t=2604s. Accessed 27 October,
2017.
Luchs, M. G. (2015). A brief introduction to design thinking. In M. G. Luchs, K. S.
Swan, & A. Griffin (Eds.), Design thinking: N ew product development essentials
Jivm the PDMA (1- 12). Hoboken, New Jersey: Wiley&Sons, Inc.
"What is Design Thinkingt Stanford Graduuate School of Business, https://www.
youtube.com/watch?v=gn Wj97CEjeo. Accessed 27 October, 2017.
- - - - - -DQGUMENT DESIGN

Y ou're an engineer in a company that translates 3D industrial designs into


2D curring patterns for automotive, furniture, and marine industries.
You've been assigned to create an informational document describing your com-
pany's products for its most important clients.
This document needs to clearly and persuasively explain how your compa-
ny's technology cuts down on manual steps and makes the pattern process faster
and less expensive. However, you need to present the information so readers can
quickly scan rhe document and find rhe information they need. The document's
design should also reflect the level of quality your company hopes to project.
So, how do you design the document so it's easily scannable and creates a
good impression of your company?

Let's start with what document design is and what it isn't. Document
design refers to the decisions that you make about the visual presentation of
your technical documents.
The purpose of document design in technical writing is to:

• Make a good impression.


• Clearly forecast the organization, logic, and order of the document.
• Help readers quickly understand the message of the document.
• Use visual prompts to remind readers of important information.

65
66 CHAPTER DOCUMENT DESIGN

Document design is not making boring information look fun and excit-
ing. Of course, there are rimes when you'll have a limited say in rhe design of
your content. In some larger companies, they may have a publishing ream or an
in-house technical wriringgroup, whose responsibility it is to create consistency
across company publications and communication.
However, ir would be a mistake to assume rhis will be someone else's job.
In fact, you should promote yourself as someone who understands wriring and
document design. The principles of document design are beneficial for almost
all siruarions where communication is needed to solve real-world problems.
Clean, professional-looking documents: and slides make a more favorable first
impression on audiences. They also lend you, rhe author, an aura of aurhoriry
and proficiency.

Just as you need to rake the wriring situation into account before you begin
drafting your rexr, rhe same principles a.ffecr your document's design.

The context is the surrounding circumstances of the document you're


designing. To make sure you address the context, ask yourself a few questions:
what is the genre of the document:' Are you designing marketing or informa-
tional materials? In short, your document design should fit the circumstances
of your communication.
Let's look ar an example design in Figure 4.1, which is an informational
document for ExacrFlar, a company rhar converts 30 designs to 20 patterns.
The clients in this situation are industry professionals who are used to reading
content-heavy documents rhar aren't designed to be visually interesting. They'll
probably interact wirh this document in a business meering or an office space
and will be looking for birs of key information. They won't notice a !or of visual
derail, bur their overall impression of the document will be negative or posirive
based on how you utilize basic principles of design rhar enhance or diminish
their ability to find what they need . As you can see in Figure 4.1, the design
includes plenty of space for rexr, bur also enough white space so the audience
doesn't ger tired reading a !or of rexr. The document also uses a bulleted list in
a contrasting color rhar grabs attention and promotes rhe key benefits of rhe
product. The visual elements are nor merely decorative- they also address rhe
needs of the audience.

The message is informarion you want to convey in your document. After


you ger a sense for rhe context of your communication, you must collect the
information you'll need in rhe design. Gather blocks of content-items rhar will
become objects in your design. When designing a set of insrrucrions, you'll need
to first research and write numbered sreps. Once you've written the steps and
Understand, Explore,Materialize 6 7

EXECUTIVE
SUMMARY
Every team deSigning with indus1Jial fabrics faces the same An ideal solution for this PfOblem needs tllese reGuirements:
proolem: How to "flatten" a 30 design to make an accurate
20 cuttmg pattern. This process commonly reGuires many • Aattens 30 patterns quickly and accurately
manual steps that can take weeks to cooiplete.
• Supports file import/export witll all major CAD programs
This delay occurs wflen manufacturers go llack to tile • Supports all major CNC cutting tables
trMitional manual process. The J)focess starts with CAD and
• Demands next to no learning curve
ends with CAM... but In tile middle Is a gap with no
automation. • Designed spe,;lflcally for industrial fabrics
• Proven in the field.
No w011<around, no feature blnlt into CAD software, and no
metal-flattening software SOives this problem and supports
end-to-end automation. Exaclflat is a uniQue product that's been t)IJIJ)l)Se•bu11tto
meet these e,acting reGuiremenls.

lntll1Jratec witll tile popular CAD software Autodesk


Inventor, ExactFlat extends tile power of lnvento, to solve
the 30 ttattening J)l'Oblem. In five simple steps, ExactFlat
can accurately Hatten the most complex 30 design in less

I
Figure 4.1
than five minutes.

your introduction and conclusion, you can scare chinking about how co design
your information so readers can clearly understand the message char you need
co convey.
The message of che document in Figure 4.1 is simple: why customers
should buy che 20 design technology. The reader can distinguish che different
pares of the message as you use color, shape, headings, and ocher design ele-
ments co scrucnire the information.

Your audience is those you expect to interact with your document. What
are your audience's expectations for your document? Are you writing for a
general audience, colleagues, clients, or supervisors? What are their wanes and
needs? Whatever they may be, your cask is co fulfill chem.
The audience fur the document in Figure 4.1 is commercial customers who
need co make a decision about whether rn radically change their design process.
68 CHAPTER DOCUMENT DESIGN

They currently use manual methods to transfer 30 designs into 20 patterns,


and rhey wane to know if a technical method would work better. Your job as a
designer is to make the information chat will convince your audience easy to
find, read, and understand. As they interact with your document, they expect
a clean, professional design rhroughour, in which design elements are incorpo-
rated simply to help chem access the information quickly, as well as find ir again
when needed. The example document uses columns to make rhe body text para-
graphs easier to read. Shorter columns are easier to skim and make readers feel
like they're reading faster. The plentiful white space provides room for chem co
make notes in the margins, if needed.

The purpose is the reason a given document exists. Why are you writing
chis document? Are you crying to sell a produce? Do you need to justify a proj-
ect? Do you need to maintain the reputation of your company? Your design
should support whatever your purpose is.
The purpose of rhe document in Figure 4.1 is to sell a company product.
However, since it includes technical information as well, you also need to show-
case your technical expertise to maintain the company's credibility. A profes-
sional, subdued design makes both purposes possible because it provides the
information in a simple, straightforward way, while also introducing an image
char rhe audience can keep in mind as rh ey consider rhe product. A design rhar
is too busy, with bright colors and complicated patterns, will rake away from
the message of the words, while uncomplicated, polished images create a solid
concept rhar works on paper and lingers in rhe mind of your audience. This
document uses a navy, black, and white color scheme with simple curved lines
char mimic rhe 20 patterns that your company's products create. Thus, images
can subtly reinforce your written message.

The product is rhe final form your document rakes. What kind of doc-
ument are you creating? Is it a single- or multi-page document? Is it a paper
or digital document? Is color printing feasible, or are you limited to black and
white? Make sure char your design is practical and cost effective.
The document in Figure 4.1 is a physical booklet rhar can be handed our
to prospective customers. A booklet is an ideal format for informational docu-
ments because it can include a lot of rexr and customers can rake it with them
after a presentation to study it at their leisure. Having a physical reminder of
what you're offering-that contains answers to many possible questions-will
help with marketing as your audience interacts with your product, meaning a
written and designed document.
5 Principle5=,Q[ Deign 69

This section will introduce five basic principles to help you effec-
tively design and communicate: balance, contrast, repetition, alignment, and
proximity.

I. BALANCE
Balance is rhe arrangement of visual elements on a page to give rhe docu-
ment a feeling of stability. The goal isn't to place rexr or visuals on every inch of
the page, bur rather to rhoughrfully arrange rhe visuals on rhe page.
Balanced documents don't need to be completely symmetrical, bur they can
be. However, a better way to think about balance is visual weight. Visual weight
refers to how much a visual element attracts the eye. A large red dot in the mid-
dle of this page would draw your eye much more strongly than rhe lines of rexr
you're currently reading, so it has more visual weight.
Positive space describes elements with visual weight. These elements
include rexr, graphics, pictures, maps, rabies, and charts.
In contrast, all the space that is left unmarked is referred to as negative
space, or white space. You can use positive space or negative space to balance
positive space.

Symmetrical Balance
Positive space balanced with positive space is called symmetrical balance.
To create balance with positive space, you need to use visual elements rhar have
similar visual weight. (See Figure 4.2.)
Think of your document in terms of quadrants: your design should be bal-
anced around the y-axis (on rhe left and right sides) and the x-axis (on rhe top
and bottom). (See Figure 4.3.)

Asymmetri cal Balance


Asymmetrical balance uses positive space on one side of an axis and nega-
tive space on another side.

Factors That Influence Visual Weight


To determine how to balance visual elements, use the following factors to
determine which visuals have more weight than others.

• Size: Larger elements feel heavier.


• Position: Elements farther from the center of a document feel heavier. A
small element near the edge can be balanced by a larger element in the
center.
70 CHAPTER DOCUMENT DESIGN

Figure 4.2 Symmetrical balance has the same visual weight across an axis.

I
,---,--- ---,---,- -,---,---,-------,
I I

-1-------~---~---~- _J ___ J---~-------~

X
--, --,
I I

J_ - - ___ J ___ J _ . _J ___ J ___ J _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ~

I I I I I
-I - - - -I - - - -I - - - -I - - - -I - . - I - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Figure 4.3 The y -axis runs vertically and the x-axis runs horizontally.

• Texture: An image can have texture if it appears to be three-dimensional.


(See Figure 4.5.) An element with more complex texture is heavier than an
element with simple texture or no texture at all.
5 Principles of Design 7I

Figure 4.4 The space on the left is balanced by the space on the right. The left has two
thistles and the right has only one. The bird balances the two sides by giving more visual
weight to the single thistle on the right with its warm, intense colors.

• Isolation: An element surrounded by more white space has more visual


weight.
• Quantity: A group of smaller elements can balance one larger element.
• Orientation: An element leaning diagonally feels heavier than an element
that is horizontal or vertical.
• S hape: Elements with more complex shapes have more weight than those
with simple shapes.
• Color: Brighter and more intense colors create more weight.
• Value: Darker tones are heavier than lighter tones.
• Contrast: Elements char have greater differences in light and dark tones are
heavier than those with less pronounced differences.

2. CONTRAST
Contrast is rhe arrangement of opposite visual elements to create interest
and emphasis. In design, all elements that aren't the same should be drasrica!!y
different. Elements that are too similar cause confusion. Contrast shows the
readers where to focus their eyes on a document.
72 CHAPTER DOCUMENT DESIGN

Figure 4.5 The basketball on the left has more visual weight than its counterpart on the
right because ofthe more complex texture.
When you make two visual elements dramatically different, you create con-
trast, drawing attention. For example, a field of white with a dark figure in the
foreground creates stark contrast where the black meets the white (see Figure
4 .6). Contrast happens when opposite visual qualities meet. There are many
visual elements that can be contrasted, such as color, font, size, line thickness,
and shape.
Avoid placing elements on a page that are similar bur not the same. For
example, if you have a paragraph with two fonts that are similar bur nor easily
differentiated, you'll cause the reader to stop and wonder why the text changed.
Contrast should be obvious and signal information of importance.
Thar's why headings are often a different size, color, and typeface (font)
than body text. The contrast signals a change of topic in the text.

Contrast in Text
Generally, documents should only include two fonts. Many designers
choose typefaces rhar
contrast significantly: a
serif typeface and a sans
serif typeface ( see Fig-
ure 4.7).
A serif typ e fa ce
has a small line (called
a serif) attached to the
end of a stroke in a let-
ter or symbol. Designers
most often choose serif
typefaces for body text
because they are consid-
ered easier to read for Figure 4.6 This image uses black and white to create
long stretches of time. contrast.
5 Principle5_,fil Design 7 3
A sans serif typeface doesn't have serifs attached to the end of a stroke
in a letter or a symbol. Designers use sans serif typefaces for headings or titles
because they are more legible from farther away.

Wh ite Space
White or negative space is an
important method for introducing
Serif
contrast into your designs. White
space shouldn't just be what's
"left over" or "empty" when you've
Sans Serif
added all rhe rexr and visual ele- Figure 4.7 Serif typeface is used for body text.
menrs. Instead, white space can Sans serif typeface is used for title text.
and should be part of the design
and taken into account during the design process.

3. REPETITION
Repetition creates consistency in a document by repeating design ele-
ments. For example, all headings should be the same font, color, and size. Thar
way, when your audience encounters a heading, they'll know it's a heading
because of it follows the pattern.
Repetition of visual elements creates unity in your design, tying together
separate parts of your document. For example, in a text-only document, con-
sistent margins, typeface size, and spacing all contribute to unity. Even if indi-
vidual paragraphs delve into different topics, repetition of those visual elements
helps tie the content together.
Be consistent within a page and between pages of a document. Here are
some (bur not all) of the things you shoLLld consider:

• Your headings follow a consistent pattern.


• The pages have consistent margins and formatting.
• Your lists use consistent bulleting or numbering systems.
• The page numbers appear in rhe same place on each page.

Be careful not to be too repetitive in your design. Monotonous designs


(that lack any contrast) are often seen as boring and will not attract your read-
ers to your content.

Headin gs
Use patterns of headings to signal a hierarchy of information in rhe text.
One useful pattern of organization is heading size (see Figure 4.8).
74 CHAPTER DOCUMENT DESIGN

• First-level headings are significantly larger than second-level ones. In web


t ypography/ H TML, rhe first-level heading is called rhe "hl rag;' and it
should be at least three rimes as large as the body text.
• Second-level headings (h2 rags) shou ld be smaller than first-level
headings.
• Third-level headings (h3 rags) should be a lirrle larger than the body text.
• Fourth-level headings (h4 rags) are the smallest headings that should be
used in technical docu-
ments. They are usually
placed in line with rhe First-Level Heading
rexr and differentiated
by bold or italics. Second-Level Heading
Headings shou ld have
Third-Level Heading
consistent wording. Yo u Fourth-Level Heading
could use a series of com- Figure 4.8 Headings draw attention to important infor-
mand verbs, geru nds, or mation. Choose the size ofyour headings carefully to tell
even questions. For exam- your reader just how important the information is.
ple, a heading like "Solar
Eclipse Patterns" should not be followed by "Watch a Solar Eclipse"; the first
heading is a noun phrase and the second is a command sentence. Make su re
your heading choices are consistent throughout your document.

4. A LIGNMENT
Alignment refers to the arrangement of visual elements on a page. Good
alignment means elements are arranged along invisible lines, like margins or
grids (see Figure 4.9). Placement should be p urposeful.
The purpose of alignment is to organize and unify the page. Follow-
ing invisible lines (like margins) creates a visual tie between elements. Many
word-processing programs use lines that appear and disappear to allow you to
move margins, create columns, and arrange graphics.

Typographic Alignment
You have more options for text alignment than the default settings in your
word processor.
• Flush Left: Text is aligned along th e left margin/gutter; the right margin
is ragged (not justified).
• Flush Right: Text is aligned along the right margin/ gutter; the left margin
is ragged.
• Fully Justified: Letter and word spacing are adjusted so the text is aligned
along both margins.
5 PrinciPle?J[ Deign 75
Organized Alignment No Alignment

-- --
-- -
Figure 4.9 The image on the left has proper alignment, adding order and stability to
the page. The image on the right has no a[ignment, making the page look messy and
disorganized.
-
• Center Justified: Text is centered in rhe page so there is even space on
either side of the text.

In technical documents, left j ustified text is usually your best option (see
Figure 4 .10). Center j u stification makes paragraphs hard to read, and when
center justification is used in headings it rends to unbalance rhe body rexr
underneath .

Flush Lefi: Flush Righ, Full Juscified Cemer Aligned


Lo re:m ipsumdolo r sit Lo rem ipsum dolo r sit L o rem ipsum dolo r sic Lore:m ipsum dolo r sit
a.me t, consectetuer amrt, consecte tue r ame t, coruectet uer a.me t, consectetue r
ad ipis:cing elit, seddiarn ad ipis.cing dit, sed d iam ad ipiscing dit, sed d iam ad ipiscingdit, sed d iam
n<>numm>" nibh e uismod no n um my nibh e uis:mod no numm)' nibh eu i.s:mod nonummy nibh e uismod
tincid unt ut lao rttt dolore tincid unt ut lao rttt dolo re tincid unt ut h o reet dolo re tincid unt ut borttt dolore
magna aliq uam e rat magna al iq uarn e r.it rm.gna aliq wm e rat magna :tliq uam e rat
vo lutpat. U twis:ienimad \X>I utp:1t. U t wisi e nirn ad vo lutpat. Ut wisi e nirn ad \"Olutpat. U t w isi e nirn ad
minim "-eniam, q u is minim ve niam, q uis minim "·eniam, q uis minim "·eniam. q uis
nostrud exerc i tatio n nostrud e..t e rci tatio n nostrud exerci tation nostrud exerci ta tion
u llamcor per suscipit ullamcorpe r suscipit u llamcorper suscipit u llamcorper suscipit
lo bortis nisl ut lo bortis nisl ut lo bo rtis n isl ut lo bo rtis n isl ut

Figure 4.10 The four kinds of typographic alignment.

Layout
Layout refers co rhe arrangement of visual elements on a page. Use grids to
balance page layout. You can u se columns, rexr boxes, cables, graphics, and so
on. Use consistent spacing between elements (see Figure 4 .11).
--
1111 91111111 -
76 CHAPTER DOCUMENT DESIGN

1nn1
Ill ii ii II =iii
--
-
-
Iii ----- I I Ill
--11111 •
II

ii iii 11111 iii 11 Di iD i


Figure 4.11 Examples of layout.

5. PROXIMITY
Proximity refers to the physical closeness of textual or visual items. Let's
look at three aspects of proximity: grouping of like items, the number of ele-
ments per page, and white space.

Grouping
When items are grouped together, there is an implied relationship between
them. Like items- or items that relate to each other- should be grouped
together. Your readers will narurally group similar items that are physically close
to each other into a single unit. They'll assume items that aren't near each other
in a design aren't closely related.
In the first example, the items are spread far apart and seem to have no
meaningfol relation to each other, though your readers will try and figure out
(for example) what vanilla, fruit, and chocolate chips have in common, because
they're grouped close together.
In the second example,
Grouping Example 1
the items have been placed in
proximiry to one another to
create meaning and to help toppings
the readers u nderstand the
vanilla
relationships of different items fruit d1ocolatcchips
simply by looking. Because the
ice cream flavors are visually ice cream fla\'ors
separate from the toppings,
readers can register at a glance chomlatc chunk
that fudge sauce is different pistachios
from butter pecan without even wh ippcd cream
rod.")' road
knowing rhar's what they did.
fudge sauce
When writing a report or butter pecan
other document in which you
5 Principle5=,Q[ Design 77
utilize cables, graphs, or ocher
Grouping Example 2
illuscracions, it's important co
place the visual elements in
close proximity co where you
refer co chem in rhe rexc. For
example, cry co avoid placing a Ice Cream Flavors
Vanilla
paragraph describing a graph on
Burrer Pecan
one page and the graph itself on Rocky Road
the next, since doing so forces C hocolate C hunk
readers co go back and forth,
turning the page. Whenever pos-
Toppings
Fruit
sible, make decisions with your Pistachios
designs char allow your readers F udge Sauce
co most easily interact with your Whipped C ream
Chocolate C hips
documents.

Number of Elements
Ir's best to have no more
than three to five visual elements
or units on a page. This limit keeps your design right and your document from
becoming coo busy or difficult co read. As with rhe writing process, it's import-
ant to put yourself in the audience's place when designing a document. To do
chis, squint your eyes and look at your design. C ount the number of visual ele-
ments you see by counting the number of rimes your eye stops at a group of
visuals. Clean up your document by eliminating visuals or by grouping more
items cogerher, if necessary.
In rhe cop flier in Figure 4.12, there are many different visual elements.
The result is messy and doesn't effectively communicate the information the
audience needs co know.
Compare it with the bottom flyer, which follows the principle of proximity
co group like items together and is therefore much easier to read.

Wh ite Space
White space is the part of your design where there are no words or images.
Ir doesn't always have to be white (you can use ocher colors), bur it should be
blank wirhour any pictures or rexc. Don't cry co fill chis space in just because it
looks empty. Sometimes white space is also referred co as negative space, bur
white space is a good thing, because it provides contrast and helps readers navi-
gate your document more easily.
In Figure 4.13, the words are all jammed together and white space is nor
being used, making the flier difficult co read. You may have an experience where
someone gives you a document like chis and asks you co improve it. Always
78 CHAPTER DOCUMENT DESIGN

How to Install an Application


on an Android Device
Locate the Google Play opp on your device
Open the Play Store

Type the name or the type


of opp you are looking for Select the opp you want to

+
in to the search bar a t the download by tapping it
top of the screen w ith your finger

Tap the install b utton and


follow any directions Re turn to the main screen of
your device and locate the
new opp you just inst alled

+ +
Tap to open it

+ + IT

'-

How to Install an Application


on an Android Device
1. Loe ate the Google Play app on your device
2. Open the Play Store
3. Type the name or the type of app you are looking for
into the search bar at the top of the screen

4. Select the app you want to download


by tapping it w ith your finger

5. Tap the install button and follow any directions

6. Return to the main screen of your device


and locate the new app you just insta lled

7. Tap to open it
+
Figure 4.12 The better use of proximity in the bottom example helps make the informa-
tion easier for the reader to access.
5 Princ!Pie5_,fil Deign 79

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Figure 4.13 The lack of white or negative space in this ad makes it very difficult to read.
The text appears as an impenetrable wall, and the reader's eye does not know where to go.

consider using white space to improve a document's clarity and simplify the
reading experience for your audience.
Referring back to the principle of alignment, "trapped white space" is
when there are multiple lines in a design and the result is that the white space
between the differently aligned elements is oddly shaped and appears trapped.
This would truly be negative space, since it makes your design appear amateur-
ish and chaotic.

Title of the Piece


Urecaes quae sitati arn, venda
ipitincte consed eat adiossit essi ..
molurn volore nissirne nernqui
consequatur, quatem. Ee quid quo
1naxi1nint aut eosse9u idebis quis ..
sum vellupta sus volorro odicis
Icianditatas prerese•
dolo quiatqui ut faccusc ipsunt eri-
nest, sunci alibusdae.
bus re m ini sendaniciunc idesriu,n
Soluptio omnis repro
qui iusan1 audit eos sin re narn
optat exeruptatet velic
aperwn aditate odipit, quis con nis
et, occuptate plicimustia
invenirnporro dolorio restruntur
veritio. Icaerumet et fug-
adipsanisit mo et, sequatur~
icem ii esto doloritacur~

Figure 4.14 The trapped white space draws the eye away from the content to itself
80 CHAPTER DOCUMENT DESIGN

Solve the issue of trapped white space by following the principle of align-
ment to create strong lines, placing each element along those lines and thus
bringing unity and maturity to the design.

Title of the Piece


Urecaes quae sitatiam, venda ipitincte
consed eat adiossit essimolum volore
nissi1ne nemqui consequatur, quatem.
Et quid quo maximint aut eossequ
idebis quissum vellupta sus volorro
oditis dolo quiatqui ut faccusc ipsunt
eribus re 1nini sendan.itiunt idestium Icianditatas preresenest,
qui iusarn audit eos sin re narn aperum sunti alibusdae. Soluptio
aditate odipit, quis con nis invenim# omnis repro optat exerupta-
porro dolorio rescrwuur adipsanisit mo tet velit et, occuptate plici-
et, sequatur? musria vericio. Icaerumer et
fugitem ii esto doloritantr!

Figure 4.15 Here the white space is free, running to the edges of the design.

ltllJ{IJ~
You might not have the option to use color
in technical documents, bur where it is permissi-
ble color can be quire effective. Muted colors are
often more appropriate for professional conrexrs.
Use a color wheel to create combinations of col-
ors rhar work together in your design.

PRIMARY C OLORS
The color wheel begins with red, yellow, and Figure 4.16 The primary colors
blue. They are the primary colors because they're are red, yellow, and blue.
the only colors you can't create by mixing colors
together. These colors are spaced in thirds evenly
around rhe color wheel.

SECONDARY C OLORS
If you mix an equal amount of each primary
color with the color next to it, you create sec-
ondary colors. Yellow and blue make green, blue
and red make purple, and red and yellow make Figure 4.17 The secondary
orange. The secondary colors are placed evenly colors are green, orange, and
between primary colors on the color wheel. purple.
- - --=------ - - - - - ~C:olor 81
TERTIARY COLORS
Mix equal pares of the
secondary colors to make
tertiar y colors . Yellow and Figure 4.18 The
orange make yellow-orange, tertiary colors are
and blue and purple make yellow-orange,
magenta, violet,
violet, ere.
teal, and lime
green.

SHADES, T INTS, AND


TONES
You don't need to only
work with colors at their foll
saturation. Sometimes pure
colors, called hues, are too Figure 4.19
Shades add black,
bold for technical documents.
tints add white,
You can airer the strength of
and tones add
a color by using colors that
gray.
have black, w hire, or gray
added to them. A hue plus
black is a s hade. A hue plus
white is a tint. A hue plus
gray is a tone. These subtler
colors can add dimension to
your design.

COMPLEMENTARY COLORS
Complementary
colors are directly First-Level
opposite each other in
the color wheel. These
Heading
colors work best when Second-Level
one color functions as Heading
the main color and the
other as an accent.

Figure 4.20 Complementary colors work together to create


attractive color schemes.
82 CHAPTER DOCUMENT DESIGN

TRIADS
Triads are sets of
three colors that are First-Level
equidistant from each
other. Red, yellow, and Heading
blue make up the pri- Second-Level
mary triad and orange,
Heading
green, and purple make
Third-Level
up the secondary triad.
You can also use triads
Heading
of tertiary colors.
Figure 4.21 Triads create more interesting color schemes.

SPLIT COMPLEMENT TRIADS


Split complement
triads combine a triad
and the complemen-
First-Level
tary colors. Instead Heading
of choosing the color
Second-Level
direccly opposite on
rhe color wheel. choose Heading
che cwo colors on either Third-Level
side of chat color co Heading
complement che first
color (see Figure 4.22). Figure 4.22 Split complement triads provide innovative
This technique cre- color schemes.
ates unexpected color
schemes.

ANALOGOUS COLORS
Analogous colors
are colors co che left and First-Level
right of the first color
(see Figure 4.23). They Heading
share a similar under- Second-Level
tone. You can use anal- Heading
ogous colors of various
Third-Level
tints, shades, and cones.
Heading

Figure 4.23 Analogous colors can create a subtle color scheme.


Illustrations 8 3
MONOCHROMATIC COLORS
A monochromatic
color scheme involves First-Level
using one hue and alter-
ing its tints, shades, and
Heading
tones to create a sense Second-Level
of variety (see Figure Heading
4 .24) . This scheme is Third-Level
quire simple and subtle.
Heading

Figure 4.20 Monochromatic colors can be cheapest to print


because the printer just has to mix one color with black and
white.

All illustrative materials should add meaning to your text. Illustrations


inserted simply to rake up space or "spice things up" are more often distracting
or confusing to readers. Your images should enhance or clarify your text.
In technical documents, illustrations meant to provide information should
always have a numerical designation and either a title or a caption. When you
use labels, you can easily reference the illustration in the body text and the
reader can follow your reference to the illustration more easily. Titles and cap-
tions should clearly describe rhe information in the figure without reference to
the text.

GRAPHS AND CHARTS


The purpose ofgraphs and charts is to help readers understand the signif-
icance of your data.

Lin e graphs illustrate Line Graph


trends and comparisons between • Data I
• Data 2
two or more variables (see Fig-
ure 4.25). Good line graphs have
simple lines, numerical labels,
and text labels.

2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Figure 4.25 Line graphs work well to compare


trends over time.
84 CHAPTER DOCUMENT DESIGN

Bar g raphs show compar-


Bar Chart
isons between quantities (see
• Data I
Figure 4.26) .They're most useful • Data 2
when the data is separated into
categories. All the bars should
be the same width, with the
length illustrating the quantity
measured. 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Pie charts show a whole
divided into parts (see Figure Figure 4.26 Bar charts compare quantities
4 .27). A pie chart is most use- between categories.
ful when the pie "slices" are easy
to distinguish. Ir's hard for a pie Pie Chart
chart to be useful when multiple • I
. 2
slices appear to be the same size. • 3
Numeric labels can help distin- • 4

guish the slices.


Flow charts depict a series
of steps, actions, or decisions
(see Figure 4.28). They usually
illustrate a process described in
Figure 4.27 Pie charts show how parts fit together
the body rexr. Keep in mind char
into a whole.
a flow chart shouldn't replace a
description of the process in the
body text, but rather supplement it.
Graphs and charts should accurately
represent data. Sometimes, the visual rep-
resentation of a graph can be misleading to
Lorem
readers (see Figure 4.29). For example, if
the vertical axis of a chart doesn't begin at
zero, the differences between variables could
appear exaggerated.
Figure 4.28 Flow charts show how
steps lead to future steps.
Wrong Right
.f:J:XJ
.550
.500 .531
.531
.500
Figure 4.29 The chart on the left
.450
does not show an accurate compar-
~ ison between the two values. The
chart on the right is more representa-
NY Boston NY Boston
Yankees Red Sox Yankees Red Sox tive ofthe data.
Illustrations 85
D IAGRAMS
A diagram 1s a
simplified drawing
showing rhe workings,
structure, or appear-
ance of an object. Ir's
generally a line draw-
ing with labels. Dia-
grams are useful in
illustrating an object
that's unfamiliar to
your audience. A dia-
gram can also show an
object in the middle
of a process, like a car
Figure 4.30 This diagram shows the layers ofthe Earth.
engine in morion.
An exploded view drawing is a
diagram rhar shows rhe relationship
of order of assembly for various parts
of an object. Ir looks like rhe object is
exploded, with each part clearly separate
and labeled bur still genera!Iy in a posi-
tion rhar would make sense if rhe object
were properly assembled.
The labels of diagrams are called
callouts. Callours include a line from
the part being labeled to a label on the
diagram irsel£ If rhe item is too compli-
cated ro allow for direct labeling, irs ca!I-
our may be handled with item numbers
and a separate index or legend.
Figure 4.31 This exploded view helps the
person assembling the burger see how the
TABLES ingredients are placed.

A table arranges data inro rows and


columns. Ir shows a lot of data at once bur uses space efficiently. While graphs
show trends, tables are excellent for showing derail. Use a table when readers
need to see derails about a trend or a comparison to properly understand the
s1ruanon.
There are generally two types of tables rhar are used in technical
documents:
86 CHAPTER DOCUMENT DESIGN

Date Region Product Qty Cost Amt Tax Total


1-Apr East Paper 73 12.95 945.35 66.17 1011.52

2-Apr East Paper 21 12.95 271.95 19.04 290.99


2-Apr East Pens 14 2.04* 30.66 2.15 32.81
1-Apr West Paper 33 12.95 427.35 29.91 457.26
3-Apr West Pens 40 2.19 87.60 6.13 93.73
•cost reduced by wholesaler. Does not reflect standard pricing.

Figure 4.32 This table shows a lot of information in a small space, allowing the reader to
seeafull picture of a complex situation.

1. Tables that contain a lot of data without immediate application to the text;
these tables are generally found in appendices.
2. Tables that may contain less data with immediate application to a specific
section of the text; these belong beside the material they illustrate.
Footnotes after the table shottld be used whenever bits of data within the
table need explanation. Use an asterisk(*) or dagger (t) in the footnote to avoid
your readers interpreting a superscript a s an exponent.
Long tables should be broken up into two shorter ones to avoid carrying
over to a second page. If a table can't be compressed or broken up, it can be
carried over to a second page with an identical layour and "continued ro" and
"continued from" labels clearly marked.

COPYRIGHT
Copyright gives a creator the exclusive legal right to distribute any literary,
musical, or artistic works. The Internet has made copyright law more difficttlt to
enforce, as many images are available online for free. However, it's still import-
ant to comply with the law in a professional context.
While you're a student, you may fall under the fair use clause of the Copy-
right Act. That means you can use many copyrighted materials for educational
purposes.
However, in a professional setting, it is inappropriate to use images that
you didn't create withottt first asking permission. If you have any questions
about which images are available through public domain, do some research
about the image before you include it in a technical document. Take advantage
of any stock photography or image subscriptions services your company may
have access to. Obtain permission to use an image before you include it.
Read up on "Tide 17" at www.copyright.gov for more information about
copyright law.
Conclusion 87

IC.1JMllll~1[1U
Document design organizes and enhances the information in your tech-
nical documents. Just like an attractive place setting can enhance the appeal
of your food, good document design can give your content an excellent first
impression. le also provides visual cues chat namrally attract your readers' eyes
to the most crucial pares of your document.
An attractive document chat appears co effortlessly guide readers co the
most important information will give chem a pleasant reading experience and
give you a positive professional reputation.

Smdencs can use the design principles co evaluate their own or a classmate's
resume in conjunction with work on Chapter 5.
Alcernacively, smdencs can search for sample resumes or ocher professional
documents online and evaluate chem for use of the design principles; they can
then share their evaluations in a written report to the teacher, in small groups,
or with the class at large.
I I

RESUMES, COVER LETTERS,


INTERVIEWS

E ver since you were a child, you've likely thought about what you will do
"when you grow up:• During your college years, the answer to this question
becomes more urgent, especially as graduation nears. Perhaps you want to pur-
sue a career in computer programming, but the only experience you have in the
field is a student job, a summer internship, your required coursework, and your
senior project. Many of the jobs you've looked at-even some entry-level posi-
tions-require several years of experience chat you just don't have.
What can you do to showcase your experience so chat employers rake you
seriously as a job candidate?

The U.S. Department of Labor has determined char most people change
careers between four and six rimes in their lifetimes, with between twelve and
fifteen job changes. With so much job shufHing ahead, it's valuable to learn what
techniques work for getting not only the job, but also the career path you want.
Resumes and cover letters are the two most common documents requested
by hiring managers before they hire new employees. Most employers also use
interviews to determine if a job candidate is a good fir for their organization.

89
90 CHAPTER 5 RESUMES COVER LETTERS, INTERVIEWS

RESUMES
Simply put, a resume is a list of your relevant experience, with descriptions
of how you excelled in chose positions. Your resume should showcase your skills
with examples and evidence of your professional accomplishments.

C OVER LETTERS
A cover letter is a lerrer ourlining why you're interested in rhe job and why
you'd excel at it. Include things like your professional personality, motivations,
and habits, as well as the reasons you would be great at a particular job.

INTERVIEWS
After hiring managers receive a resume and cover letter, they select the
strongest candidates co interview. Ar chis point in the hiring process, employ-
ers wane ro see if you'll be a good fir in the ream you mighr join. We address
interviews in rhis chapter because, as derailed in Chapter 1, an interview is an
instance of the communication process (remember sender, receiver, channel and
message?), and it's smarr to know besr practices for rhis rhetorical siruation.

In your job search, ir helps ro understand your particular situation, nor j usr
principles of job searching in general. You can tailor your resume, cover letter,
and interview co rhe siniarion so you ger the job and career you desire.
Beginning with context, ask yourself whar industry you are crying trying to
break into. The norms and expectations of your particular industry will affect
how you put your documents together and whar kind of information you pro-
vide. You also ought to consider the organization itself. Is the company large or
small? Is ir a nonprofit, a family-owned company, a national-level organization,
or maybe a starmp? You'll emphasize different work experience and qualifica-
tions in your documents depending on rhe context of the job.
The ,nessageyou convey depends on rhe document. Your resume should lisr
any relevant experience. Your cover letter should explain why you're interested
in rhe job and why you'd be great at it. In the interview, you should present your
qualifications and goals in rhe most honest and favorable light possible.
Your audience is generally rhe employers who are in charge of hiring new
employees. You may be writing ro a company board, a human resources repre-
sentative, rhe supervisor of a department, or some ocher individual. Assume
char your audience has knowledge of rhe job requirements and the authority to
make a hiring decision.
How to WriteYour Resume 9I

Your purpose in creating a resume and a cover letter and conducting an


interview is to get a job. However, you shOLtldn't be satisfied with just any job.
You want a job that fits your immediare professional needs, including an ade-
quate salary, duties that you're capable of completing, a company culture that
makes you comfortable, and coworkers with whom you get along. You also want
a job that will help you reach your long-term professional goals. The job should
be in your desired field or have the potential to lead to said field.
Your product is the physical resume, cover letter, or your performance
during rhe interview. The product should create a professional impression on
your audience-an impression you can create not only with the content you
write, but also with your writing style and document design.

If you're serious about applying for a job, you ought to tailor your resume
and cover letter to that job so the hiring manager considers you as a top
candidate.

RESEARCH
Starr by researching the company you're interested in. A simple online
search should reveal insights into the company culture. The ''About Us" section
of the company website is often especially helpful. If you have any professional
contacts, ask them for information. Ask key questions and take notes as you
search:

• What does the organization do?


• What makes this organization different from their competition?
• What are the organization's core values? Do they emphasize cost saving or
do they prefer to see themselves as the cutting edge of their industry?

Depending on what you discover, you can decide how to present the infor-
mation in your resume and cover letter. For a company char values efficiency,
you can include a line about finishing projects ahead of schedule in your resume.
In your cover letter, you could share a story about how you managed your time
in school so well that you never missed a deadline.

LEARN THE joB DESCR IPTION


Hiring managers complain that job candidates often don't really under-
stand the responsibilities of the jobs they apply for. Surprise them by reading
the job description thoroughly.
92 CHAPTER 5 RESUMES COVER LETTERS, INTERVIEWS

Try summarizing the job to a friend to ensure you understand what you're
applying for. Picture yourself doing rhe job, imagining challenges you might
encounter and new ideas you would liike to implement. You can use some of
those ideas in your cover letter, and they definitely ought to come up in your
interview.
Many people who are new to rhe workforce worry about meeting all rhe
qualifications listed in a job description. However, hiring managers know rhar
they are unlikely to find a candidate who meets every single one. Instead, think
about the ways you are a march for the job and put them in your cover letter.

O RGANIZAT ION
Some hiring managers spend less than thirty seconds scanning a resume
to decide if a candidate meets the job qualifications. So you may have a limited
opportunity to convince an employer that you're right for the job. Resumes have
conventions. These conventions can be fluid, depending on the position or the
field, bur there are some basics that remain rhe same. The best way to show
you're a strong candidate is to follow these basic conventions.
The organization of a resume is simple: in a document rhar's generally
one page-bur can be expanded co a second page co include relevant infor-
mario n-lisr your past
work experience in reverse
chronological order. If you're
a college student, you may • Header
nor have extensive work • Education
experience, bur you can and • Work Experience
should also use volunteer • Volunteer Experience or
experience, internships, and Extracurricufar Activities
coursework to show off your • Skills
qualifications. You can refer
• Awards and Achievements
co Appenxid B: Supplemen-
tary Examples for sample
resumes.

Keywo rds
Many companies require candidates to enter their resume information in
a digital submission form in addition to rhe one-page resume. These online
forms search through your resume for keywords that relate to rhe industry and
the job. The computer creates a ranked list of candidates who march the most
keywords.
There's no need to write rwo separate resumes (one for people and one for
computers). Instead, incorporate keywords into your resume. You can figure our
How to WriteYour Resume 9 3
what keywords the company is looking for by reading the job description and
looking at the company website. However, don't copy the job description word
for word, as it might look like you have nothing original to contribute. Instead,
use the key words and phrases naturally in your sentences.
Imagine that a position calls for a computer science major with great inter-
personal skills, Internee technology expertise, and experience with setup and
maintenance of various platforms.
Your resume should include keywords from the job description co show
chat you have the skills the employer is looking for. Lee's say you completed an
internship with a local IT company, which gave you direct experience work-
ing with several of the required skills. Use the phrase accountspaya6/e in your
resume.

Example: Processed hundreds of invoices per week in accounts payable


department.
Maybe you don't have any accounting experience chat demonstrates your
leadership skills. You might have experience in a volunteer organization or in
a school project where you learned leadership. You can include a form of the
keyword leadership in what might otherwise seem co be irrelevant experience.

Example: Served as vice president of student association. Organized and


led bimonthly activities with over one hundred participants

Header
The header of a resume contains your name, address, phone number, email
address, and website, if you have one. The font for your name shOLtld be a larger
size than the rest of the text so it catches the eye.

Education
If you're just beginning your career, your degree should come next. Your
degrees should be in reverse chronological order, with the most recent degree
first. Include:

• The name of the university or college and its location


• Your major
• Your minor
• Any distinctions you earned ( such as magna cum laude)
• The month and year of your graduation ( even if the date is in the future-
your hiring manager can figure it om)
• Your GPA (if it's impressive or if the employer requires it)
94 CHAPTER RESUMES COVER LETTERS, INTERVIEWS

• If you want to include relevant coursework or school projects, include


them here or in the "Volunteer Experience" or "Extracurricular Activities"
section.

Wo rk Experience
This section includes your relevant work experience, including career-re-
lated jobs and internships ( even unpaid ones). For each job, include:

• Your job ride


• The name of rhe company and its location

Position Type:
Full-Time Entry-Level Finance

CyberTek is a dynamic, high-tech company based in Townsville.


CyberTek's finance team is looking for financial accounting professionals
to join our talented team. The global accounting organization supports our
internal control, financial reporting, and transfer pricing activit ies.
The ideal candidate can work independently and have a strong desire
to learn. A candidate must have critical thinking skills and problem-solving
experience. A candidate also must be able to stay focused in challenging
and ambiguous situations and have strong leadership, organizational, pre-
sentation, and writing skills.A successful candidate will consistently meet or
exceed expectations in terms of quality of work and productivity.
Applications must be submitted by November 20th. Interviews w ill
begin mid-October.
Basic Qualifications
• Currently pursuing or in possession of a bachelor's degree in Accounting
or related field
Preferred Qualifications
• Bachelor's degree in Accounting, Information Systems, Finance, or related
field
• CPA-eligible
• Previous exposure to operational accounting concepts, including inven-
tory, procurement, payables, receivables, and revenue
• Superb organizational skills
• Excellent analytical skills
• Exposure to researching accounting conclusions and documenting sup-
port for conclusions reached

Figure 5.1 A job description for an entry-level accounting position.


How to Write Your Resume 9s

• The dares of employment (with the month and year)


• A bullet list of workplace accomplishments

The phrasing of your bullet list of accomplishments is critical for captur-


ing a prospective employer's attention. Use action verbs and brief phrases (nor
complete sentences). Avoid subjective traits like "creative innovator" or "great
leadership skills:' Instead, focus on measurable accomplishments. Any rime you
can use a number or derail to show the scope of your work, do it. This is known
as quantifying your work experience.
Example: Completed five marketing campaigns for Fortune 500 compa-
nies
Include between two and four bullet points for each job. Long lists are tir-
ing to rhe eye, and rhe hiring manager will likely move on to rhe next section
before finishing a long list.

Volunteer Experience or Extracu rri cu lar Activities


If you don't have a lot of professional experience, you can include volunteer
work or extracurricular activities in a "Volunteer Experience" or "Extracurricu-
lar Activities" section. Even if these experiences don't seem like they have a lot to
do with your field of study, you can show how your experiences have prepared
you for the job you're applying for.
For example, if you've participated in student associations, clubs, volunteer
groups, student journals, or student projects, you can include them here.
Follow the same organization in this section rhar you did in the "Work
Experience" section. Describe rhe work you did and rhe qualities you learned,
keeping the focus on measurable accomplishments.

Skills
In rhe "Skills" section, list skills that are relevant to your industry. Some
industries place greater value on a set of measurable skills than others, so con-
sult a mentor in your field to find our if you need to include a "Skills" section
at all. You don't need to list where or when you learned each skill-just a short
description of rhe skill or rhe name of rhe technology and your level of mastery.
This is an appropriate place to list foreign languages spoken.

Awards and Ach ievements


Only include an ''.Awards and Achievements" section if you have awards
that are relevant to the job. Academic awards such as scholarships for academic
performance, prizes in competitions, memberships in honors societies, and col-
lege and departmental honors are all appropriate for inclusion in this section.
96 CHAPTER 5 RESUMES COVER LETTER\ INTERVIEWS

(801) 555 4885 - jimmy.smith@gmail.com - 200e 800n Provo, Utah

The stude11t used a sa11s serif


fo11t for the headi11gs a11d a
serif fo11t for the body text
to create co11trast a11d ™ake
Jimmy Smith Note the future
the text easy to read. gradua tio11 date.
Education ♦
Working toward Bachelor of Science, Local State University (LSU) I Town,-villc, UT Apr 2019
• Major: Business Management (Global supply chain emphasis)
• Minor: Computer Science
Note that the ™ost rece11t experie11ce is listed first. The curre11t job is
Work Experience all i11 prese11t te11se. bich bullet poi11t starts with a stro11g actio11 verb.
Media Technician, Unive,:~ity We bsite I Townsvillc, UT Aug 20 IS- Present
• Troubleshoot complex systems and id entify solutions in a timely manner
• Lead and contributed to large production teams of 10- 20 technicians
• Use creativity daily to increase efficiency and productivity in setups and productions
• Demonstrated an aptitude of learn ing complex systems quickly and thoroughly

Production Assistant/Web Developer, AI/DogzGolHeaven I Capitol, CA 2009- Present


• Responsible for preparation of equipment, setup, and take-<lown for corporate and pri vate
events
• Contribute to execution of lighting, staging, power distribution, and speaker systems, etc.
• Work with fellow team members in order to accomplish team goals
• Created, designed, and currently maintain the company website

Marketing Intern, AAA Marketing I Townsvillc, UT Jan-Apr 2016


• Created strategies for social media marketing campaigns, wholesale and email marketing
• Showed initiative by creating special projects to co11ect and analyze customer data
• Developed strong communication channels between business owner and intern group
• Gained owner's trust to create autonomous special marketing projects

Office Administrator, CTR Medical Center I Townsvillc, UT Dec 2014-Mar 2015


• Responsible for creating, executing, processing, fi ling and invoicing dai ly work orders
• Answered high quantity of calls each day
• Managed cloud powered database
• Made effective discretionaiy decisions to resolve client issues

Volunteer Experience
Missionary, Church of.Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Feb 2012-Feb 20 14
• Exercised excell ent communication, scheduling, studying and teaching skills
• Took initiative to create a strict schedule and fol low rules without supervision
• Worked closely and well with a variety of personality types
~ - - Ma11y l!lS stude11ts worry about how to i11clude their ™issio11s 011 a res~e. If you
have e11ough other experie11ce, its 11ot 11ecessary to i11clude. l'ut if your pote11tial
e™ployer is fa™iliar with the l!lS church, or you 11eed to explai11 two years with 110
work or school experie11ce, you ca11 highlignt skills you learned 011 the ™issio11.

Note how the stude11t i11cluded 11ot just a stro11g work trait (showed i11itiativel but also ex~ai11ed
exactly how he de™o11strated it !"by creati11g special projects to collect a11d a11alyze custo™er data").

The stude11t has had two differe11t positio11s with the sa™e co™pa11y. Si11ce the web developer role didl'it
de™o11strate e11ough releva11t skills for a busi11ess ™ajor, he 011ly used 011e bullet poi11t of i11for™atio11.

Figure 5,2 This resume is for a student in his second year of college with a declared Business
Management major.
How to Write Your Resume 97
The studet1t has reorga11ized the l\lajor 1.111d 0t1iversity i11forl\11.ltio11 to el\lphasize his l\lajor. The typeface of the
l\lajor is i11 bold 1.111d a slightly lxgger size tha11 the rest of the text Also, the stude11t l\1et1tio11ed a scholarship i11
the educati011 sectio11. If he had l\lore tha11 011e acadel\lic award, he l\light have i11cluded a11 "Award" sectio11

~ 5554885 J,~~.:r~~~,~~rn"",;mmym>tl,
Skills _ Ed=u=c=a=t""'io'"'"n"'---------------------
Programming Information Technology, Local State University The stude11t chose a
languages April 2017 differet1t sa11s serif
• JavaScript • Minors: Computer S cience, Business fo11t for his 11ew resul\le,
• HTML/CSS
wfich cha11ged the look
• Awarded: Sir Patrick Stewart Academic S cholarship of his resul\le slightly.
• AngularJS
• Java (Jersey/ Extra-Curricular
Spring)
• Currencly developing an application co aid process serving in Ogden
• SQL (Oracle,
• 1st place winner in university hackathon out of 20 teams
MySQL, TSQL)
• Top 5 finalise in statewide hackachon with 300 participants
• Jasmine
• Designed, created, and currencly maintaining AIIDogzGo2Heaven website
• CIC++
• ]Query
• PHP
Ex perie nce
• Python Senior Web D eveloper, University Website
• Assembly Feb 2015-Presenc

Tools/ Methods • Consiscencly worked at over 100% capacity including com piecing ochers' casks co
meet team deadlines
• G ic
• Agile
• Developed new employee training application for new hires
• Bower • Created inventive solutions for data manipulation and storage
• Grune/Gulp • Took initiative co learn 2 + new technologies or methods each week
• To1ncat • Received performance-based raise 6 months earlier than standard new hires
• Unit testing • Reviewed 40 + code merge requests weekly for completeness, efficiency, and best
• Bootstrap
practices ........_ Si11ce the stude11t does 11ot have l\11.111Y releva11t work
. experie11ces, he uses l\lore bullet poi11ts tha11 usual i11
O ther D eveloper Intern, Integr,um tfis I\IOst il\lPressive positio11. Note all the 11ul\1bers i11
• VariousOS ~ ay 2016-Sep 2016 the bullet poi11ts that qua11tify his accol\1plishl\1e11ts.
(W indows, • Designed thorough, detailed testing processes to improve quality assurance
Linux) • Improved automated ces ring co increase independence and redu ce test t ime by
• Apache
25%
• Windows Server
• Practiced effect ive test-d riven development by pairing with teammates daily
• MSOffice

Si11ce the stude11t Mentorship A ssociate, San Francisco Incubator


works with a lot of f April-May 2016
col\lputer tech11oloi;jes, • Participated in pilot men torship program designed co incubate app development
a list l\lakes se11se for
• Created and nurtured relationships with professionals in interested companies
pote11tial el\l~oyers
to see which systel\ls • Explored requirements oflegal industry by diligencly seeking expert feedback
he is fal\liliar with. This studet1t has a lot of i11depe11de11t progral\11\1i11g experiet1ce that does11t fit i11to fis
work experie11ce. He created a sectio11 to give a 011e-li11e sul\11\iary of each project.
Evet1 though we kl1ow frol\1 the other resul\le that this studet1t has other work experiet1ces,
he chose 11ot to i11clude thel\1 i11 this resul\le si11ce they were11t releva11t to I-is job search for a
progral\11\1i11g job. l11stead, he i11cluded these short-terl\1 positi011s that show fis relev1.111t skills.
Figure 53 This resume is for the same student, who has changed his major to Information
Technology and is about to graduate.
98 CHAPTER RESUMES COVER LETTERS, INTERVIEWS

Portfo li os
Nor every industry requires a portfolio, bur in some industries it's helpful
to have a sample of your work to show potential employers. Many fields now
encourage digital portfolios, in which candidates post examples of their work
to a personal website. If you have a website, include rhe link in rhe header area.

111·• ·
A resume should be as brief as possible. Read through every phrase in your
resume and shorten every line. Since you may only have thirty seconds of an
employer's attention, you don't want to waste rime.
The following is a poor example of a bulleted work experience entry:
• Interned as a web sire assisran r for a journal dedicated to academic
smdies editing content and code (HTML, CSS) for dozens of pages

Here is a better example:


• Interned as a website assistant for a journal dedicated to academic
smdies.
• Edited content and code (HTML, CSS) for dozens of pages
A resume should also have consistent formatting. Always write years and
months rhe same way. The same goes for bLtllered lists-all should begin with
an active verb in past tense. The only exception is for the job you currently have;
you should begin these bullet points with present tense.

VISUAL H IERARCHY
Make the most important information in your resume visually distinct
from rhe rest. Your name should be in rhe largest font size in rhe document, and
rhe headings should be distinctly larger than the body rexr. Your name and the
headings can also be in a different font ro create even greater contrast.

PROFESSIONAL FONTS
Overly ornamental fonts can be difnculr to read and look unprofessional.
Instead, use clean, professional-looking fonts for all text. You can use a sans serif
font for headings and contrast it with a serif font for body text, or you can use a
consistent font for everything.
How to WriteYour CoverLetter 99
Also, avoid using flashy colors. Usually black and white is just fine, espe-
cially if you submit a resume digitally, and rhen a potential employer prints it
our.
Save your resume as a PDF co avoid corrupting the style when a hiring
manager downloads it. A PDF creates a static copy of your resume exactly as
you designed ic.

A cover letter shouldn't just be a regurgitation of your resume. You only get
two pages (your resume and cover letter) to convince a potential employer char
you're rhe best fir for a position. Don't waste a page by simply repeating infor-
marion in your resume.
Instead, chink about what you
Letters
might say to a friend about why
you're excited about the job and • Header
why you would be excellent at it. • Introduction
You'll probably chink of things char
• Body
don't show up in your resume, like
• Conclusion
personal traits and work habits.
Just like in rhe resume, you should
back up every claim about your
skills with an example or with measurable evidence. You have more space in a
cover letter, so you can even cell a story rhar shows how you exhibited rrairs char
would make you the best fir for the job. You can refer co Appendix B: Supple-
mentary Examples for sample cover letters.

ORGAN IZAT ION


The organization of a cover letter is in four basic parts: the header, the
introduction, the body, and the conclusion. The header is the information at
the very top of the page, and the other sections are usually spread among two
co three paragraphs.

Header
The header of a cover letter should be the same as the resume. (Remember
the design principle of repetition!) Below the header, include rhe dare, rhe name
and title of rhe person soliciting rhe application ( chis information should be
available on rhe job description), and rhe address of rhe company.
The salutation of the letter would ideally begin with "Dear Mr./Ms. Last
Name of rhe hiring manager:•
I 00 CHAPTER RESUMES COVER LETTERS, INTERVIEWS

Jimmy Smith
(801) 555-4885 - jimmy.smith@gmail.com

The studei,t starts the first paragraph with a si111ple, direct


set1te11ce that t1a111es the particular positiot1. So111eti111es e111ployers
8 August 2016 are searchit1g for e!l1ployees to fill several positiot1s at ot1ce,
at1d it helps to be specific about the job yo11e applyit1g for.
Selection Committee

1
University Website
400 Un iversity Street, Suite 123 Next, the studet1t explait1s his curre11t positiot1 as
Townsvill e, UT 84 604 a studet1t at1d his relevat1t experiei,ce, sit1ce he
already had a positiot1 with the ut1iversity.
Dear Selection Committee:

I am writing to apply for the University Website Sofl\vare Developer internship. I am a currently
studying lnfonnation Technology in my final year at Local State University. I have worked for
the University Website for about two and a half years in the Media and Technology departments.
I hope to return to the UW, this time as a developer, because of the uplifting, team-oriented
atmosphere that allowed me to contribute in a meaningful way.

I am currently working as a media technician at the University Website. There, I lead and
contribute to my team. I have also learned to improvise and problem-solve in high-stress
situations. I also previously worked as a web developer for the site AIIDogzGo2Heaven. I
focused on the user experience, which increased click-through rates and company sales.

In my schooling and spare time, I research web techniques to complete class assignments and
also complete my own side projects. I consistently strive to find more efficient solutions to
computing problems. I have found that the ability to learn quickly and independently problem-
solve have served me best in my coursework and in my own projects.

I am excited for the opportunity to work on projects that will be available to thousands of users.
From what I know about the projects currently in development at the UW, I can apply my
passion for technology and make a meaningful contribution to the team as a sofl\Vare developer.

I look forward to hearing from you soon about this position. Thank you for your consideration.

The Hird paragraph 111et1tiot1s coursework at1d


Sincerely, spare ti111e, which is a good choice sit1ce the studet1t
does t1ot have at1y other professiot1al experie11ce.
The secot1d paragraph 111et1tiot1s relevat1t
work experiei,ce, beit1g careful to 111e11tiot1
Jimmy Smith persot1ality traits like persot1al 111otivatiot1.

The cot1clusiot1 e111phasizes


the studet1ts et1thusias111
for the positiot1 at1d how "I look forward': Always et1d with a call to actiot1. Ask
the studei,t cat1 cot1tribute for at1 it1terview, request a ph0t1e call, 111et1tiot1 that
to the orgat1izatiot1. yo11e lookit1g for at1 e111ail. E111ployers expect you to
be proactive, but t1ot pushy, it1 your cover letter.

Figure 5.4 This cover letter was written by the same student who wrote the resumes. This
letter is for a summer internship at his university.
How to WriteYour CoverLetter IOI
Example: Dear Ms. Lee-
"To whom it may concern" should only ever be used as a last resort if you
can't find any specific person or group to address. If you know more than one
person is involved in the hiring process," Dear Selection Committee" can be
appropriate without being too vague.

Int rodu ction


Cover letters are a much less strict genre than resumes. The most import-
ant aspects of a cover lerrer are expressing your professional enthusiasm and
make the hiring manager feel like he or she knows you a little better. The con-
tent of a cover letter varies depending on writer personality and the writing
s1ruanon.
However, ir's always a good idea to dearly stare rhe position you're applying
to in rhe introduction. If you're applying to a large company, it's possible rhey
have several positions being filled, and you don't want your application to get
lost in rhe shufHe.
The introduction is also a good place to:

• Explain how you heard about the position ( this is especially useful when
you know someone within the organization).
• Convey something about rhe position rhar made you excited about ir.

• Include a polite plea for rhe reader to consider you for rhe position.

However, these points are also perfectly appropriate for the body section as
well. The only thing you should avoid is a"My name is ..." introduction. Hiring
managers know to look for your name at the top of rhe resume and rhe bottom
of your cover letter. Including it at the beginning of the letter as well makes it
look like you don't know what to say and you're j ust trying to fill up space.

Body
The body section of the cover letter contains the bulk of your argument for
why you're a good fir for rhe position. Ir's visually satisfying to have two or three
paragraphs in the body (though you may have more or fewer, depending on the
information you want to convey).
There are several organizational srraregies you can choose. All of the fol-
lowing are equally acceptable, bur rhey are by no means your only options:

• Each paragraph is focused on a different trait that qualifies you for the
position. For example, if you're applying for a computer programming posi-
tion, you might want to emphasize your attention to derail, efficiency, and
ability to learn new technologies quickly. Each paragraph should include
examples of things you've done that demonstrate these traits.
I 02 CHAPTER RESUMES COVER LETTERSl INTERVIEWS

"Tha11k you for'~ 111 the first paragraph, the


stude11t ack11owledges that he fou11d out about
this positio11 fro™ a11 i11forl\latio11 sessio11 held
at his u11iversity. He has already had co11tact
with the recruiter, a11d IG1ows that the col\lpa11y
already co11siders fi™ a perspective ca11didate.

Jimmy Smith
(801) 555-4885 - jimmy.smith@gmail.com

At the i11forl\latio11 sessio11, the stude11t


28 September 20 I 7
learned about the col\lpa11ys operatio11s. He
k11ows a little about the projects they do a11d
Ben Tanner, New Operations Projects uses that i11forl\latio11 to show he is ge11ui11ely
TechCo i11terested i11 the col\lpa11~ w,issi011.
Metropoli s, TX 77389

Dear Ben Tanner:

Thank you for considering me for the full-time computing position at TechCo. After attending
the information session held for IT students, I was struck by the fact that TechCo embodies the
passion for technology and innovation that I also share. Certain projects presented at the session
intrigued and inspired me, such as supercomputi ng and 3D rend erin g of geographical imaging.

Currently, I am studying Information Technology at Local State University. I am focusing my


study on web deve lopment languages, server maintenance, and di gital communication.

I am also currently employed as a full stack developer at the University Website in Townsvi lle,
Utah. In this position, I have distinguished myself among my peers by learning new methods
extremely quickly, helping team members when they struggle with tasks, giving productive
feedback, and solv ing difficult problems even af ter other team members have abandoned the
task. I aim to use my time as effectively as possi ble and work as productively as I can.

I hope to apply the skills and habits I have developed in my schooling and work experience to
the computing internship position at Tech Co. My driven personality, capacity for mastering
complex concepts quickly, and tenacious problem-solving skills make me an ideal fit to work on
the many exciting projects that TechCo currently has in development.

Thank you so much again for the opportunity. I look forward to hearing from you soon. )
The third paragraph describes his
. " curre11t work experie11ce, specificaUy
Smcerely Tha11k you~ The i11forl\latio11 that is 11ot available 011 his
stude11t :ha11ks resul\le. He el\lphasizes fis perso11ality
J~ ~ the recruiter a11d at work a11d his l\lotivatio11s.
· · / fi11ishes up with a
Jimmy Smith
call to actio11. The sec011d paragraph describes his curre11t
course of study. He 011ly lists releva11t
study to the positio11 he is applyi11g for.
The co11clusio11 re-el\lphasizes the
stude11ts e11thusiasl\l about the
positio11 a11d the qualities that
!\lake fi™ a good fit for the job.

Figure 5.5 This cover letter was written for a full-time job after graduation.
How to WriteYour CoverLetter I 03
• Each paragraph is focused on a different category of experience rhar quali-
fies you for the job. For example, rhe same computer programming position
might have paragraphs organized around your educational background,
work experience, and ski!!s in certain technologies.
• Each paragraph is focused on a different kind of evidence that qualifies you
for rhe position. Using the same computer programming position as an
example, rhe paragraphs could be organized around rhe diversity of your
experience, the length of your experience, and all the traits rhar make you
a good fir for rhe job.

A!!ow space to give evidence for each claim you make abou t your
qualifications.

Con clu sion


The conclusion of a cover letter should be confident and enthusiastic. Here
are some suggestions:

• Confidently stare rhar you 're a good march for the position.
• Express enthusiasm about a particu lar aspect of the job.
• Request an interview.
• Express hope that you'[[ hear from the employer soon.
• Provide contact information.
• Thank the employer for their consideration.

Sign off with a simple "Sincerely" or "Best regards;'followed by your full


name. Repeat your contact information below your signature, even if you have
written i r before.

COMMON MISTAKES
Here are five common mistakes you ought to avoid in your cover letter:

1. Don't focus on how the job will help you. You want co explain what you'll
contribute to your employer, not wh at your employer wi!l do for you.
2. Don't use hyp erbole. Exaggerations like 'Tm the best candidate for this
job" sound like sales tactics or bragging. Instead, make claims supported
by evidence.
3. Don't claim that you have excellent communication skills. Show rhat you
have good writing skills by writing well. In a worse-case scenario, you say
you have good writing ski!!s bur your cover letter doesn't reflect char, so
your hiring manager questions your ability co self-assess.
4. Don't mention salary. Your first communication with a potential employer
should - as mentioned before- focu s on what y ou can offer, nor what
I 04 CHAPTER RESUMESCOVER LETTER\ INTERVIEWS

the company can offer you. Even th ough employers know that employees
work for money, mentioning salary this soon in the process comes across
as greedy.
5. D o n't write more than one page. Most hiring managers won't turn to a
second page, so cur our unnecessary information until all that remains in
your letter is the best evidence that you're a good fir for the job ( on one
page).

..,•.••
Though a cover letter is a professional document, it's your best opportunity
to express your personality to a potential employer. Your supervisor wants an
employee who will nor only do work well, bur will also be easy to work with.
Use a conversational, friendly tone to give the right impression.
To create a conversational tone, pretend you're writing to an aurhoriry fig-
ure you know well and enjoy talking with. Use standard grammar and make
sure your sentences can be easily understood by a reader. Focus on positive
aspects of your qualifications and the job you're applying to. Be polite.

lllllllJil~~lltJ,1[11~
A cover letter doesn't need a complicated design. Many rimes, your cover
letter will just be an email to which you attach a resume. Use standard letter
layout, with full left justified text ands paces between paragraphs. Use a stan-
dard, professional-looking font in a size that's easy to read. The hiring manager
is much more concerned with the content of your cover letter than its design,
so keep it simple.

The interview is an opportunity for an employer to get to know strong


candidates. Ar this point in the process, your interviewer already thinks you
have the skills to do the job, bur he or she wants to learn about your personality
and see how you'll fir with the team and company. An interview is a chance for
employers to learn abour your commu nication skills, work ethic, confidence,
and personality.
You'll probably feel nervou s before going in to an interview, especially if
you don't have a lot of experience selling yourself to a potential employer. Take
ten minures sometime before your interview to review your strengths. If you
dwell on your weaknesses or fears before you begin an interview, that negativity
How to Navi ateYour Interview I 05
might come across as a lack of confidence. If you focus on your strengths, you'll
feel more confident during your interview.
Also, remember that not every job you interview for will be the right job
for you. Use the interview to evaluate your potential employer. Do you think
you will be happy in the day-to-day work at the company:' Will the position
be a good stepping stone for your career:' The interview is as much a chance for
your potential employers to impress you as it is for you to impress them.

PREPARE FOR QUESTIONS


You'll never be able to completely predict the questions an interviewer will
ask. However, if you know what interviewers generally want to get our of an
interview, you can prepare for that. Here are some potential interview questions
and inquiries and why interviewers ask them:

1. Tell me about yoursel£ Interviewers usually use a question like this to


break the ice and help you feel more comfortable. While they might nor say
it, this question is really about your professional self. You don't have to talk
about your personal life.
2. Why are you leaving your current job? If you just graduated from college,
this question is easy. Interviewers ask this question because they honestly
want to know if you'll be happy in the job they're offering. Be honest in
answering this question, bur don't rake the opportunity to complain about
your current job- you'll look like you have a negative attitude.
3. Tell me about a time when.. .. Interviewers want to know how you'll han-
dle challenges in the job they're offering. They often gain more insight into
your work style by evaluating decisions you have made in the past, rather
than asking you to speculate on how you'd act in the future.
4. What interests you about this job? Interviewers genuinely want to know
why you're applying for the job. They may be looking for an employee who
will stick it our for the long haul, or they may want someone who loves
tackling challenges. Since you can't read their minds (and you don't want a
job that doesn't fir your goals), be honest.
5. What salary range are you looking for? This question is tricky, because
interviewers often already know how much they're willing to pay you, bur
if you name a lower figure, they will march it without offering you their
original (higher) rare. However, if you name a salary chat's too high, you
may price yourself our of the position. Research the marker rare ahead of
time to negotiate well for yourself.
Before you get to the interview, brainstorm questions you think you might
be asked. Write down your answers, then rehearse them so you get comfortable
with saying them our loud. If you find a question difficulr to answer, practice it
even more so you won't get caught off guard in your interview.
I 06 CHAPTER 5 RESUMES COVER LETTER\ INTERVIEWS

Bright ly colored or C lean, pressed


patterned shir ts and t ies clot hing

I
Fash ionable shirt

Loafers or monk- Closed t oe,


strapped shoes fashionable shoes

7
Figure 5.6 Even if the company y ou're applying to is casual, show y ou're a serious con-
tender by dressing in business attire.

DRESS APPROPR IATELY


Select clean, pressed clothing for your interview. Do some research to find
our how formal rhe office is. You can even ask the person who reached our to
you from rhe company. Most people understand rhe stress of interviewing and
will be happy to give you a hand. If you can't find our ahead of rime, it's safer to
dress more formally than less. Avoid wearing disrracringjewelry or scents.

HAVE CONF IDENCE


Remember, rhe reason rhe hiring manager brought you in for an interview
is because she or he thinks you're qualified. Hiring is srressfol. The hiring man-
ager wants you to be the solution to the job vacancy so he or she can get back to
regular duties.
Also, no hiring manager has ever s:een a perfect candidate, so don't worry
about giving rhe perfect interview. Interviewers are used to people who are ner-
vous. If your interviewer is rude or judgmental to you during the interview, cake
chat as a sign that you don't want to work in that kind of environment.

AsK QUESTIONS
Ar the end of an interview, your interviewers will usually ask if you have
questions. Your interviewers want you to ask questions. They want to help you
Howto Navi ateYour Interview I 07
understand the job and the company. They want to resolve any worries or ques-
tions you have.
They also want to see what kinds of questions you'll ask. If you only ask
about salary and benefits, you signal that you're only interested in what the
company can do for you. If you ask about the work and the organization as well,
you signal char you're thoughtful and genuinely interested in the opportunity.
To think of genuine questions, imagine what you'd want to know as you go
into work every day. Here are some ideas:

• What does a typical day in the position look like?


• How would you describe the culture here?
• How would you describe the company management style?
• When you think about the person you've seen do this job best, what made
his or her performance so outstanding?
• What are the biggest challenges a person in this position will face?
• What are your next steps for hiring? What is your timeline for letting me
know your decision?

Be sure to get an answer about the rimeline for their hiring decision. You
don't want to waste weeks stressing about not hearing back about a job when
they know their decision will rake a month.

LEAVE WITH CONFIDENCE


Thank your interviewers for their rime and say you look forward to hearing
from them. Shake each interviewer's hand firmly and walk our of the office with
a smile. It's over-you did it!

WRITE A THANK You


NoTE Dear Ben,
Thank you for creating such a pos-
It's polite ( bur nor necessary) itive atmosphere during my interview at
to write a thank you note to the TechCo. I really enjoyed talking to you. You
people who interviewed you. A made me feel so comfortable and welcome
thank you note doesn't have to be that I really feel like I could see myself
long-a few lines are sufficient. working at TechCo for the long term. Thank
You can send a note in the you again for being so kind and helpful.
mail (a handwritten note is nor --Jimmy Smith
necessary, bur it's a nice gesture)
if you know the company won't Figure 5. 7 This thank y ou note (sent as an email)
get back to you for several weeks. was written by the student from before, who got a job
You can also send a thank you with his resume and cover letter.
I 08 CHAPTER 5 RESUMES COVER LETTERS, INTERVIEWS

email if that's been the primary mode of communication between you and the
interviewers.
In your note, express your appreciation for the interviewers' time and
emphasize your continued interest in the job.

IC.1lMltll~1[1U
The first time you compile a resume and write a cover letter, it can be over-
whelming. However, once you write a good draft of these documents, you never
have to start from scratch again. You can add and subtract from a resume for
your entire career, updating your design and wording as you add new experi-
ences and remove our-of-dare ones.
Since you'll probably apply for many jobs over the course of your career, it's
a good idea to get good at writing resumes and cover letters and interviewing.
ACTIVITY REPORTS

Y ou work at a research laboratory that has a contract with the Department


of Defense. Currently, you are on a team that is attempting to enhance
the military's active missile defense against ballistic missiles. This enhance-
ment is a multi-year project with
a large budget, and you must pro-
vide progress reports both to your
supervisors and to military person-
nel in the Department of Defense.
You must show that your ream is
making sufficient progress and that
the money invested in your com-
pany is not being wasted.
How do you create this prog-
ress report?

The activity repo rt has an important job in the workplace: it provides


key information that managers need ro make critical decisions. Your job as the
writer will be to provide information to the reader chat describes the steps of an
activity done during a particular period of rime as you work co complete a proj-
ect. Ir's important to reiterate char the reports provide information on the most
important parts of your activity with the project, and should avoid trivial activ-
ities that decision-makers would find distracting and uninformative. Activity

109
I I O CHAPTER 6~_A_CT_IV_ITY_ R
_EP_O_RT_S_

reports usually provide an update


of your project in process bur they Reports
can also report your successful- • Front Matter
or unsuccessful-completion of a • Letter or Memo of Transmittal
project. • Title Page
When writing an activity • Introduction
report, you can use these ques-
• Body
tions as a guide:
• Summary
• What has happened with Results
this project since it began ( or • Future Activities or Research
since rhe last report)? • Graphics

• What is going on now with • Expenses

this project? • Conclusion


• What needs to happen/will
happen in rhe future with
this project?

What follows are short descriptions of some of the most common ryp es of
acnv1ry reports:

Progress reports: The progress report provides documentation, or an


update, on your activities before the project is completed. As you can guess,
the purpose of these kinds of reports is to enable the reader to assess the
progress of rhe project and plan for rhe future. They describe rhe tasks rhar
have been completed and tasks rhar have yet to be completed, and they may
include rime estimates, problems and concerns, and costs of rhe project.

Routine reports: These reports are required regularly and used to provide
information or facts. Also called periodic reports, these documents might
include an annual report to shareholders or a department's monthly report
on expenditures and personnel.

Completion reports: Furure bosses will most likely ask you to write a com-
pletion report. And when they do, you will need to present the outcomes
of a project or initiative you have been developing. These reports will also
describe rhe steps of rhe process o r provide recommendations for future
action.

Regulatory reports: These rep orts contain information on how well a


deparm1ent or organization complies with rules, policies, or governmental
laws. Such reports might also be called compliance reports.

W hite papers: Also known as briefs, the job of white papers is to inform
your reader about developments in your industry or in your area of exper-
tise. White papers are usually written. Briefs are a written version of
Understand, Explore,Materialize III
briefings, which have already been presented orally. These types of reports
often provide groundwork for fumre projects. To write white papers or
briefs, review the literature on a specific subject and provide a report of
your findings. Taken in three steps, a whire paper or brief ( 1) condenses
the research you have done into a few well-chosen sentences, (2) identifies
why the research or the subject is important, and (3) provides information
on the why and how of the subject's future significance.

Incident reports: Typically, whenever there is an accident or an unforeseen


event, an incident report must be generated. Depending on the nature and
severity of the incident, and if you as the writer were direcdy involved, it
can be difficult to write these reports objectively; however, it's essential to
provide derails that describe what really happened and not give excuses as
to why it happened. Sticking to the facts of what occurred and how it was
dealt with are the key points of incident report writing.

Laboratory reports: Laboratory reports deal with the activities in a lab-


oratory, usually experiments. They present the methods used, the results
achieved, and the experimenter's conclusions.

The primary purpose of an activity report is to give an accurate picture


of a project's status at a given moment. Bur the report may also give managers
confidence that satisfactory process is being made, record your work for future
reference, and protect the company.
As with any writing situation, you should give the readers' needs premier
importance by using CMAPP. Begin by learning the cont ext of the simation in
which your activity reports are being read and used and consider the specific
audience you are writing them for. In technical industries, you will likely have to
report your progress frequendy, since reports are often created on a daily basis.
In some cases, your report might not be read from beginning to end by any one
person; if that's the case, you will need ro make the report easy to scan, helping
the readers find the information they need quickly and without too much effort.
The report might also be shared with external stakeholders and clients to keep
them in the loop.
Don't forget that activity reports are written for people who need informa-
tion to solve a workplace problem. Executives or administrative officials musr
be kept informed about various projects under their supervision if they are to
manage those projects well. They must decide about the future of each proj-
ect- whether the work should be continued, given new direction or emphasis,
or discontinued. Clients also want to know about the progress of projects in
I 12 CHAPTER ACTIVITY REPORTS

which they have a financial stake. Lawyers and insurance adjusters need to be
able to look up company projects for legal and insurance purposes.
As you can tell, knowing how your report will be used and by whom will help
you decide what information to include and how to organize that information.
Once you know your context and audience, you can begin to explore what
to include in your report ( the purpose and message of CMAPP). Remember the
design-centric model here: the activity report is intended to help solve a problem
or need. You should report on the progress you make on a project, bur nor every
derail is relevant to the report. Often your readers will need to know something
specific about your progress, bur other rimes general activities will better show
how you well you are meeting deadlines. Managers might care more about the
extent of your progress, the costs, how fong your project rook, or some combi-
nation of all three.
Try writing a draft of your report and include as much derail as possible.
Then, after finishing rhe draft, read it over as if you were your direct supervisor.
Imagine his or her reaction to different sections of the report. Now, after you
have developed empathy for your reader, start to remove content rhar may nor
be necessary for your reader or identify what might need to be added to the
report. As you write more and more reports, it will become intuitive what infor-
mation you should include and what you shoLLld exclude, but learning this skill
rakes time and effort.
In some cases, the activity report may be presented as a final product in a
number of forms. A report may be oral, as with a formal or informal briefing. Ir
can also be a paper digital document. You may create a document that is meant
to be read immediately to make important decisions or one that is primarily
meant to be stored in your company's databases.

You begin writing a report long before you create the final draft by raking
regular- even daily- derailed notes on the project or experiment. These can be
written or electronic. Don't rely on your memory to remember important facts.
Besides, if you have kept good notes, your report will be mostly written by rhe
rime you sir down to craft it. The following sections describe the major parts of
most acnv1ry reports.

FRONT MATTER
Your company may require specific formatting for reports, including front
m atter. Front matter can include all or some of the following: letter of transmit-
tal, title page, table of contents, and executive summary. Shorr or informal reports
( especially those delivered orally or via email) will likely not need front matter.
How to WriteYour Re ort I I 3
Letter or Memo ofTran smittal
If your report is meant for a specific reader, you'll need to include a sal-
utation co chat person. Letters are intended for external transmittal (readers
outside of the company). Memos are for internal transmittal (readers inside the
company).
A letter or memo should include:

• The dace of the letter or memo


• A salutation to the reader
• A shore oudine of the status of the project
• A shore description of the remaining casks to be completed

Title Page
If you are writing a long or formal report ( usually more than ten pages), use
a ride page to signal the beginning of the report. The design of the page should
be professional but eye-catching, unless your company has a standard document
design char you need to follow. (See the exan1ple of a ride page in Appendix B.)
The ride itself should include the name of the project. You may also need
co indicate the stage of the project with a dare, numeric sequence, or description
of its status
A title page may also contain the following (if applicable):
• Tide of the report
• Names and rides of readers and/ or the name of their organization
• Names and rides of writers and name(s) of their organizarion(s)
• Date of report submission

Table of Contents
A table of contents should include all the sections of your report as head-
ings, with subheadings as needed. Page numbers should be included so that
your report can be scanned. After rhe headings for each section (including rhe
introduction, rhe main body sections of the report, and rhe conclusion), iden-
tify any appendices, their rides, and their pages in the report. Fo!!ow the design
principle of alignment to make the table of contents both visua!!y pleasing and
simple to navigate. (See the example of a table of content in Appendix B.)

Executive Summary
As with a ride page, an executive summary is only written for a long report.
This one- to two-page summary presents a short version of the most important
points within the report so that busy company or project executives may read
it to know what is going on genera!!y without having to be burdened with a!!
I 14 CHAPTER ACTIVITY REPORTS

the derails, though the derails are important for record-keeping and ocher legal
purposes.
While executive summaries can be tailored co be whatever your company
or manager prefers, they generally inclt1de the most viral and timely information
abom what is going on with a project, rhe most pressing problem (if there is
one), important discoveries made since che lase report- which will be derailed
in the body of the report- and recommendations based on cost, timeliness,
and resources.
Yot1 should wait co craft your executive st1mmary for long reports t1nril yot1
have finished writing the entire reporr so char rhe summary best reflects the
actual derails included in rhe final draft. (See Chapter 7 for more information
on executive summaries.)

INTRODUCTION
The introduction includes as much background information as neces-
sary for rhe reader co understand rhe report. For example, if you are writing a
monthly update in a mLtlri-year project, you may nor need co rehash rhe pur-
pose of the project. However, if yot1 are writing a completion report, it might be
helpful to write a more rhorot1gh overview of the entire project for present and
future readers.
The introduction should do the foUowing (not necessarily in this order):

• Ser rhe stage for rhe reader ( what is this report abom:')
• Describe the situation char necessitates the report
• Forecast rhe contents of rhe body

BODY
The body is the meat of the report, and shot1ld contain some or all of the
following sections:

Tasks
The first section of the body provides a list and description of the casks
that have been completed, particularly those completed since the lase report, if
any exist. Provide as much derail abom the completed tasks as necessary for the
intended reader to fully t1nderstand.
The tasks can be organized in chronological order or by category. Choose
an organization char will best help your reader understand the status of the
project.
Here is an example of a summary for a progress report on a dam construc-
tion job, organized by category of tasks:
How to WriteYour Re ort I I 5
1. General
2. Excavation
3. Drilling and grouting
4. Mass concrete
5. Oil piping

The organization of the report should grow logically out of the subject
matter and the requirements of those who requested the report.

Resu lts
Pick a few major outcomes and report on rhem. The results you choose to
include should reflect the priorities of the people in charge of maintaining the
project.
For example, if your company values efficiency, your report should stress
that the project is being completed on time or even ahead of schedule. Choose
the most significant results to avoid overwhelming readers with too much infor-
mation-consider making them a bulleted list or otherwise separating them
visually to help your readers' navigation.

Issues and Future Plans


Ir is important to notify project managers and other interested parries of
any issues you have encountered up to this point. You shoLLld also present your
solution or an idea for a possible solution; in general, whenever you have to
report something negative, it is good practice to follow up with an action plan
or idea that responds to the situation.
If there are no issues to report, it is still appropriate to use this space in a
report to look ahead to upcoming tasks, provide an expected timeline for their
completion, and discuss other directions that could be taken alter the project is
completed in regards to research or further projects. If there is nothing else to
say, this update could simply reiterate that the goals defined at the beginning of
the project are still appropriate and on track.

Expenses
If your reader asks for financial information, include an expenses section,
pointing our anywhere that actual costs differ from projected ones. Explain the
costs of the reporting period, including an enumerated list if necessary. This
may also be an appropriate place to explain why costs are higher or lower than
originally estimated.
I 16 CHAPTER 6__AC_T_IVIT_Y_RE_PO_RTS
CONCLUSION
The content of your conclusion depends on rhe kind of report you are writ-
ing. For example, if progress on research is being reported, it may be necessary
to present a derailed statement of conclusions reached. On rhe other hand, a
report on the progress of a simple mach ine installation wouldn't likely require
a long or formal conclusion. Generally speaking, keep your conclusion to a few
concise sentences, making sure to summarize the main points of your report.
Since reports are often written for record purposes, your intended reader may
simply read your conclusion to understand your status.
End on a positive, forward-looking note without promising too much. For
example, don't overestimate the amount of work that can be completed in a
forthcoming period.

111·• ·
Activity reports should use plain style (see Chapter 2 ) to maintain an
informative, straightforward tone. Use active sentences (sentences with a clear
acting verb) whenever possible to make the text easy to understand.

Passive: The study was funded by Agricorp Ind. for six months.
Active: Agricorp Ind. funded 1:he study for six months.
Writers sometimes use passive sentences to avoid placing blame. However,
in rhe workplace you must accept responsibility for mistakes (and if you are in
a position of!eadership, you must be responsible for your subordinates as well).
However, you can make a report less persona! by using your job ride as rhe sub-
ject of a sentence rather than 'T' or your name.
Personal: I was in charge of coordinating programmers for rhe missile
defense system.
Less personal: The head technician was in charge of coordinating pro-
grammers for the missile defense system.
Avoid using emotional language. Your reader is likely uninterested in your
persona! invesm1enr in a project and prefers to read about your progress in an
objective report.

When possible, follow a template given by your employer. If your company


has no formal sry!e guide, be consistent in your own formatting. Use the same
spacing, margins, and serif font in all your reports (Times New Roman is a safe
Conclusion I I 7
standard). If you can, ask your supervisor for an example of an exemplary report
and imitate its formatting.
Since activity reports aren't likely to be read cover to cover, arrange your
text into sections with clear headings so a reader can skim through it quickly to
find needed information.
If you work with electronic media, consider raking advantage of embedded
links. Links can connect to external websites or can help a reader '}ump" to a
relevant section from a heading.
When necessary, use graphics like graphs, charts, and rabies to present
large masses of data. Since activity reports provide documentation for company
records, it helps to include all relevant data for rhe current stage of rhe project.
If you have a great deal of data that is necessary for understanding the srarus of
the project bur cannot be written in sentence form, include the data in a chart,
graph, or table.
If you have a foll-page graphic or multi-page graphics that will interrupt
the flow of rhe report, you may choose to include them in an appendix rather
than in rhe body of the report.

IC.1JMlllli1[1U
Technical positions require extensive documentation and reporting to keep
track of project progress. As you learn to rake careful notes and clearly explain
your processes with rhe needs of your audience in mind, you will become an
invaluable member of your rean1 and an asset to your company.

Srudenrs can create an activity report of their own or craft a memo that
follows the format of an activity report ro go along with a class project.
Suggested Guidlines for a memo in activity report format:

• The memo shottld be 1- 2 pages long


• The memo should directly address the recipient of the report or project
• The memo should briefly describe the srarus of the project and the tasks
left to be completed
• The memo should include a summary of any viral information on expenses
• The memo should have a conclusion
------ ANALY-l-lCAL REPORTS

I n your work manufacturing cars, you find rhar the hearing coils used in the
industrial furnaces have recently been covered in a light-brown, fluffy deposit.
They're then cleaned with an industrial solvent, bur the substance on the coils
has built up over rime, preventing the fornaces from working at optimal levels.
As you investigate the
problem, you hypothesize that
the work being drawn in the
furnace, which was treated in • Front Matter
• Letter or Memo of Transmittal
a salt bath and quenched into
• Title Page
oil, has been leaving small
• Abstr act
quantities of salt in the fur-
■ Table of Contents
nace coils. You believe the salt
• Introduction
deposit caused the buildup and
■ Background or Rationale
interfered with the furnace.
When you investigate, you
• Body
• Methodology
discover rhar your hypothesis
■ Results
is correct, and you figure our a
■ G r-aphics
solution.
• Results
Now that you know what
to do about the problem, how
• Conclusion
do you convince your supervi- • Back Matter
sors to rake action? ■ References
• Glossary ofTerms
• Calculations

11 9
120 CHAPTERz__ A_
NA_LY_T_
ICA_L_RE_PO
_R_TS

Analytical reports present technical findings co an audience. They are called


analytical reports because it's the writer's responsibility to analyze and interpret
technical data so chat the conclusions reached at the end of the report make
logical sense to readers. A conclusion can be an interpretation of findings, a
recommendation for a course of action, an assessment of quality, or any ocher
discovery chat can be derived from your research.
The following are some of the more common types of analytical reports:

Scientific reports: A scientific report presents the results of observational


studies or experiments. It explains your findings and also describes the
steps you took to complete your study:

• Selecting a research question


• Developing a hypothesis
• Crafting a research methodology
• Collecting data
• Analyzing the data and adjusting the hypothesis
• Forming conclusions

Research reports: A research report presents the results of a study. Gen-


erally, these kinds of reports are conducted to answer a question about a
trend or problem that must be addressed before an important decision is
made. Your findings may indicate the varied causes of a situation, based
on past and current research. These reports include the same sections as
scientific reports.

R ecommendation reports: You're an expert in your field. Eventually,


someone is going to ask you to make suggestions about the best course of
action to rake. Such recommendations may be for your own company, a cli-
ent, or any other interested parry. A recommendation usually solves a prob-
lem or issue your audience is facing. The report should include an in-depth
description of the situation to show chat you are informed, descriptions of
possible courses of action, and a recommendation for a particular solution
rhar is based in rhe evidence you've accumulated. Your recommendation
should seem like a natural solution.

Feasibility reports: A feasibility report determines whether following a


specific course of action is feasible, or in ocher words whether it can and
should be done. Before following a recommended or suggested course of
action, management wanes to know if rhe action is feasible- reasonable.
Sections of a feasibility report include:

• Possible solutions to the problem


Understand, Explore,Materialize 12 I
• Criteria for assessing the solutions
• The solutions measured against the criteria
• The best solution based on the reported analysis of the solutions

Many feasibility reports are long because they include all relevant
information so that readers can feel confident in making a decision based
on the report. These reports can lead to major financial expendimres.

The purpose of an analytical report is to inform, instruct, analyze, and form


conclusions about data. In some cases, such as with recommendation reports,
you also seek to persuade your reader to pursue a particular course of action.
Using CMAPP, remember that the specific needs of your report depend on the
context, or what the reader intends to do with the content of the report. For
example, if you're writing a research report for a retail chain that wants to know
which of its locations are most profitable, then your goal is to determine which
locations are most profitable and then use other metrics to analyze what makes
them more successful than other locations.
To stay focused on the message or question at hand, start with the end in
mind. Once you immerse yourself in the research it's easy to become distracted
by the breadth of your analysis or the potential applications of your research
tool. Resist these temptations and concentrate on what readers need to know. If
you're writing a recommendation report, the message is your recommendation.
If you're writing a conclusion report, the message is rhe outcome of the project.
The most important part of rhe message is focusing on rhe readers' needs rather
than on what you want ro tell them.
Next, consider your audience. If your report is nor intended for other
experts, then you need to maximize readability by eliminaringjargon and mak-
ing it as simple as possible to understand and follow. If your report is intended
for other specialists, then the opposite may be true: jargon and technical terms
may actually make rhe material clearer and lend credibility ro your writing.
However, rhe process of considering an audience becomes more complex once
you consider rhar reports will likely be viewed by more than one rype of audi-
ence. Although your report may nor be read word-for-word by a single reader,
every part of ir will probably be read by different readers.
For example, a supervisor may ger a stack of reports and sift through them
ro find relevant ones for a project. Then a lower administrator may skim your
report to determine which deparm1ent should use ir. A technician assigned ro
a relevant project could read rhe smalles r subsections and expect derailed, accu-
rate information.
122 CHAPTER z__A_
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ICA_L_RE_PO
_R_TS

You can also determine the needs of your readers by the purpose for which
they read your reports. Some readers may nor have technical training bur
read the report in order co make decisions. Decision-makers can be advised
by another type of reader, while a third kind of reader evaluates your content
for truth or legality. These audiences could be supervisors, lawyers, insurance
adjusters, or anyone with a stake in rhe content.
At chis point in the writing process, your purpose should be clear co you,
but if you feel like your draft is lacking in direction, try rhe exercise mentioned
in the "Understand, Explore, Materialize" section of Chapter 6, reading and
editing your report as if you were your own direct supervisor. Because supervi-
sors muse make important decisions and recommendations based on the infor-
mation in your report, envisioning such viewpoints will likely help you avoid
unnecessary derails and information.
A final consideration is the form the report takes ( the product). Your
report may be a multi-page physical document or a PDF file. You may also write
shorter reports chat are housed in databases or sent in emails. The form of the
report depends on the level of derail and formality required by your audience.
Longer reports should be formatted so that readers can quickly find the infor-
mation they need ( since they are often not meant to be read in their entirety).
Clear headings and subheadings that signal lean, focused paragraphs help your
audience skim for relevant information.

Before you start writing a report, you need co gather the relevant informa-
tion and interpret data. You may need co do an observational study or simply
gather technical research. Use the information you gather to present a clear and
complete picture of your subject to your intended audience.

FRONT MATTER
Front matter is supplementary information. It's generally only included
with long reports so readers can more easily locate the information in the report
chat is relevant co their purpose.

Letter or Memo ofTransmittal


A letter or memo addresses the person or company intended co read the
report. A letter is used for external transmittal co a reader outside your com-
pany, while a memo is used for internal cransmircal co a reader within rhe com-
pany. (See the example of a letter of rransmitral in Appendix B.)
A letter or memo should include:
How to Write Your Re ort 123
• A salutation to the intended reader
• A brief outline of rhe subject matter
• A brief ourline of solucions or recommendations for a problem ( if
applicable)
• The name of rhe report compiler and company information

Title Page
A title page signals rhe beginning of the report. The page should look pro-
fessional and attractive in order to encourage the reader to continue reading.
The ride itself shOLtld be brief bur descriptive of rhe content of the report.
A ride page may also contain the following (if applicable):

• Specific ride for rhe report


• Names of primary readers, their rides, and the name of their company or
organization
• Names of writers, their rides, and name of their company or organization
• Dare rhe report was submitted
• Company logos, graphics, or ocher design elements

Abstract or Executive Summary


Longer reports- of ten or more pages- should have an abstract or exec-
ucive summary. An abstract is a one-paragraph summary of your report. In
generally about 250 to 500 words, rhe writer boils down the report's informa-
tion to key derails char use the same structure as in rhe full report, including a
sentence char introduces the topic, range, and significance of the report. Also,
briefly mention your main points, results, and recommendations.
The abstract is nor a place ro"bury the lead'.' This means char you shouldn't
hold key pieces of information back until lacer in the report in order to pro-
vide a hook or incentive to read. Don't him at what you will be writing about.
Describe it planly so char readers who don't have rime to read the whole report
can still understand rhe most important components. Phrasing from the report
is allowed and even encouraged. Conversely, you shouldn't say anything in the
abstract char is nor addressed in the full report.
Abstracts also often contain keywords, or words that indicate the con-
tent of a document. These keywords are used by information retrieval systems,
online indexes, and ocher databases co assist online users. Choose keywords
char reflect rhe main ideas in your report.
An executive summary is a paraphrased version of the report (no more
than one page) char highlights key points in the rexc. These summaries are
read by people who don't have rime to read the whole report or who muse be
124 CHAPTER z__A_
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ICA_L_RE_PO
_R_TS

persuaded to do so. An executive summary, unlike an abstract, does nor have


to follow rhe organization of rhe report, nor does it use exact phrasing from it.
However, it should contain as many of the major ideas of the report as possible
so a reader understands the main ideas of the report.

Table of Contents
Longer reports should also have a table of contents. A table of contents
should list every section of the report ( including the cover page and itself for
convenience) and page numbers. Headings and subheadings should have the
same wording rhar they do in rhe body of rhe report.

INTRODUCTION
The strength of an introduction is in the clarity of the writing. As with
abstracts, don't talk around rhe subject and purpose of rhe report-come right
our and express them directly. The introduction is an appropriate place to pro-
vide background information or give the rationale for the report. If you need
to provide extensive derail, you could choose to include a separate background
or rationale section following the introduction. This section is not necessary in
every report, bur it is useful if you know your audience doesn't have much famil-
iarity with rhe report's subject or if you're writing an academic report.
If included, the background section includes the issues rhar led to the need
for this report, rhe paradigms of the srudy, or the context of the subject matter.
Any other relevant information that explains the circumstances of the subject
matter is also appropriate. Alternatively, the rationale section provides the rea-
sons you conducted rhe research for your report. A rationale section should
be included in academic reports or in reports where where rhe srudy must be
justified to your readers.
Generally, an introduction should include a purpose statement.
A purpose statement is a one-sentence summary of the reason for the
report. This could be your conclusion or recommendation based on rhe evi-
dence you found. (If you are providing a rationale section, rhe purpose state-
ment could be a shortened version of it rhar also refers readers inside the report
for more information.)
Here is an example of a purpose statement: This report outlines the ben-
efits and challenges of switching ERP software from our legacy system to a
cloud-based system.
The level of derail you provide in your introduction depends on your audi-
ence's familiarity with the subject. If your reader is a collaborator in internal
research, you probably don't need an extended introduction. However, if you're
writing a report for inclusion in a database or for a client, you ought to provide
sufficient information to avoid confusion.
How to Write Your Re ort 125
BODY
The body of a report provides rhe methodology, rhe results, and a discus-
sion of your data. You muse include all relevant and important derails of your
research so readers understand char your conclusion is firmly based in data.
Each section within the body of your report should follow an organiza-
tional pattern, with an opening (introducing the material), a body (explaining
derails), and a closing (summing everything up).

Methodology
The methodology section describes the research techniques used to gather
your data. These techniques might include observations, experiments, surveys,
interviews, resting, or ocher methods.

• Opening: Describe the way in which you collected information, potentially


giving examples as co where and how this method has been used before.
• Body: Break down your study into sections and discuss each in detail.
• Closing: Discuss the limitations of your smdy and methodology. A limita-
tion of a study may be that it was conducted among a group of people of
a particular region of the country who experience different economic chal-
lenges than most citizens. A limitation of a methodology might be that you
used quota sampling to interview fifty men and thirty women. You must
present a logical assessment of any weaknesses of your research so readers
trust your judgment throughout the report.

Resu lts
The results section describes rhe findings of your research. You should
present all relevant faces, data, and evidence you've collected. Present your
results with the least amount of interpretation possible. You'll provide an inter-
pretation of your findings in the subsequent discussion section.

• Opening: Stare rhe most important findings of the study.


• Body: Give space to each finding in turn, presenting graphs or rabies as
needed.
• Closing: A specific conclusion to chis section may nor be needed, bur if you
wane ro tie it all together, you can briefly restate rhe opening.

Graphi cs
If your study produced numerical data, use graphics such as charts, cables,
and graphs co present the data in your report. These graphics should support
the results in your written text, not replace chem. If you find char your graphics
I 26 CHAPTER z__
AN_A_LY_TI_
CA_L_REPORTS

rake up more than one page or provide a distracting amount of derail, you may
consider including chem in rhe appendix rather than in rhe body of your report.

Discussion
The discussion section relates the results back co your original research
question, hypothesis, or main point. This discussion is also known as the analy-
sis or interpretation of your data. Does the data prove or disprove your hypoth-
esis? Why do you say so? This section sh ould answer questions like these.

• Opening: Referring co rhe important findings from your resulrs section,


offer your conclusions about each.
• Body: Dedicate a paragraph or more to explaining your overall conclusions
in derail, using evidence to justify your interpretations. If you used graphs
or rabies in the results section, rake more space to interpret and explain the
data found in the graphs or rabies.
• Closing: Particularly important for long reports, a conclusion co the dis-
cussion section should reiterate any important points char the body of the
research shows.

C ONCLUSION
The conclusion scares rhe main point of rhe report and makes recommen-
dations, depending on the purpose of the report. Busy readers will often turn co
the conclusion to find the most important points of your findings. The conclu-
sion is an appropriate place co anticipate the future of research on rhe subject,
make any lase arguments for rhe general importance of rhe subject, and express
appreciation to your readers. When transitioning to a conclusion, it is a good
rhetorical move co use words like" in conclusion;' or "ulrimarely" co signal rhe
end for your audience.
The following moves can be used in a conclusion (not necessarily in chis
order):

• Transition co show the paper is ending. Use words like "co sum up" or "in
conclusion:·
• Restate your main point.
• Scare recommendations.
• Reemphasize the importance of the smdy.
• Look co rhe future and discuss future paths rhe research could pursue
• Thank readers for their interest and provide contact information (if
applicable).
Howto Write YourRe ort 127
Recommendations
If the purpose of your report is to recommend action, include that in a rec-
ommendations section. If you have more than one recommendation, you may
choose to list and number your recommendations. If you need to discuss them,
you can do so following your list. All recommendations must be reinforced by
proof in the text.
Be specific in your recommendations. Ifyou recommend that further research
is needed, suggest the kind of research. If you recommend beginning or ending a
project, or allocating more funding to continue a project, explain why and describe
the course of action you intend.
If your data does nor indicate a dear-cur solution or course of action, you
may provide several options. Be honest about the uncertainties and weaknesses
of each option. You may recommend rhat one solution has greater strengths
than others, bur only if the data supports that conclusion. Ir's also perfectly
acceptable to state that the research has resulted in no useful conclusion-once
again, as long as the data so indicates. Sometimes, the Recommendations sec-
tion will have another name. In the example in Appendix B, the Recommenda-
tions section is titled "Next Steps:•

BACK MATTER
Back matter includes all information that proves the soundness of your
conclusions, bur offers too much derail for the readability of the report.

Appendices
Appendices include data or supporting documents that would be distract-
ing in the body of your report, such as data tables, charts, diagrams, figures,
articles, screenshors of newspapers or magazines, the derivations of equations,
before and after photographs, and price lists.

References
Ar the end of your report, it may be necessary to include a list of refer-
ences. Use an appropriate citation style guide to determine how your list of
references should be formatted.

Glossary ofTerms
If the subject is complex and there is jargon that must be used because it's
the only word for an object or process, or if terms you use have different mean-
ings in other contexts, you should include a glossary. To create the list of words,
look over your report and choose terms with which your readers may nor be
128 CHAPTER z__
A_
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ICA_L_RE_PO
_R_TS

familiar. List the terms in alphabetic order and write sentence definitions for
them.

An analytical report should mainly use plain style. You may also need to
include elements of persuasive style if you provide a recommendation or other
argument.
Ir's inappropriate to provide apologies for your research (even if you pro-
vide disappointing data or when you admit to weaknesses in your methodol-
ogy). Instead, always present your findings as objectively and unemotionally as
possible.
Ideally, rhe logic of your argument and rhe strength of your data would
convince readers to agree with your conclusions. However, there are often other
factors involved, including competing priorities and audience preconceptions.
To overcome such obstacles, create an orderly argument. If you determine
that there may be opposition to your conclusion, the order in which you pres-
ent multiple recommendations may affect a reader's impression. For example, if
you have two possible recommendations for a course of action to rake, and you
consider one option to be weaker than rhe other, you must honestly discuss the
advantages and disadvantages of both. However, try ordering your argument
like this:

• Advantages of rhe weaker option


• Disadvantages of the weaker option
• Advantages of the stronger option
• Disadvantages of the stronger option

By following up rhe disadvantages: of the weaker option with rhe advan-


tages of rhe stronger, rhe advantages of your preferred option will appear even
stronger because of rhe contrast with rhe disadvantages of a weaker option.
The formality of your presentation depends on the writing situation. If
you're writing a long report to an external audience, you should likely use a
more formal tone. However, an internal report may require a more conversa-
tional, professional tone to make the report easier to read.

Most companies use a standardized template for reports. Follow the tem-
plate whenever possible to maintain a consistent company brand.
If your company doesn't have a template, create a functional design. Your
design should reflect the subject matter of the report and rhe preferences of
Conclusion 129

readers. If you have doubts about Annual Sales


those preferences, defer to your
employer's judgment.
Use a serif font for the body of 800
the text. If you have a formal office,
use the same font and color for the 600
headings. (If you have an incredibly

D
formal office, you may even have to 400
use headings in the same font size).
If you have a less formal office, you 200
may use a contrasting font and color
for headings to make them easier to Company Company Company
find. A B C
Use headings and subheadings
Figure 7.1 A chart displaying annual sales for three
for each section of the body so read-
companies
ers can easily locate sections relevant
to their purpose. Headings
shottld convey information and Imported Goods
set up expectations for the sec-
rion. They serve as an oucline • Country A
and a road map for the report. • Country B
Actively look for places • Country C
to display data or informa-
rion. Breaking up large blocks
• Country D
of text with rabies, graphs,
or other graphics can create
visual interest and emphasis on
important data. Be sure to use
these graphics only to clarify or Figure 7.2 A pie chart displaying imported goods from
enhance the meaning in your several countries
report, never to replace text.
If you're working with electronic media, consider using embedded links.
These links may connect the reader to external documents. You can also use
links in the table of contents of a web document or a PDF to allow the reader to
jump to a heading (see Figure 7.3).

IC.1JMllll~1[1J~
Analytical reports are a common genre in technical fields. You'll likely write
many reports in your career. The main thing to remember is to be as objec-
tive and clear as possible so readers can use your reports to do their jobs well.
As you master the ability to write analytical reports that are clean, clear, and
130 CHAPTER z__ A_
NA_LY_T_
ICA
_L_RE_PO
_R_TS

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comprehensible for everyone who picks them up, you will become an essential
part of your company's decision-making processes.

Students can write an analytical report as a class assignment. Alternatively,


smdents can visit gao.gov and browse government reports in the p ublic domain,
perhaps analyzing one for its use of plain style, its design, or other traits of ana-
lytical reports for presentation in class.
PROPOSALS

A manufacruring firm that makes jet engines needs a new high-speed wind
runnel to test its engines. To get the job done, the firm sends out a request
for proposals (RFP) to companies who have done this kind of work in the past.
Along with rhe RFP, rhe firm includes specifications for rhe wind runnel, a dis-
cussion of rhe firm's needs, and a deadline.
Your company selects you as the technical writer to create a proposal bid-
ding for this job. Now what do you do?

A proposal is a combination of a technical report and a sales pitch. Most


of rhe rime, you' [[ write a proposal as a petition to begin a job. A proposal might
secure research funding, approval for a new project, or a government contract.
You'U most likely nor be the only parry competing for what you need, so it's
important to put in the work to produce the best proposal possible.
In order to convince the powers rhar be rhar y ou are rhe best candidate for
che job, you'[[ need a proposal char nor only thoroughly explains rhe issue at
hand, bur also offers a choughcful and persuasive solution. Writing a proposal
cakes extensive research, reflection, drafting, organizing, and revision. A good
proposal wiH answer che questions a reader needs answered to solve a technical
problem:

• What is rhe problem ac hand?


• What is rhe proposed solution to th e problem?

131
132 PROPOSALS

• Why is this proposed


solution the best course
of action:' • Abstract
• What is rhe estimated Introduction
rime frame for this pro- • Subject Matter
posed solution:' • Purpose Statement

• What methods, equip- • Emphasize Importance


• Background
ment, personnel, and so
• Outline Organization
on will be required to
execute the proposed
• Background
solution:'
• Procedure
• Solution
• How much will rhe pro- • List of Objectives
posed solution cost:' • List of Steps
In rhe workplace, employ- • Deliverables

ees need to create proposals • Evaluation


for many reasons and under • Follow-Up
many circumstances. Techni- • Qualifications
cal workers create proposals • Costs and Bene(,ts!Conclusions
to suggest solutions to com- • Attachments
plicated, technical problems. • Budget
These problems are often
rime-consuming and expen-
sive to fix. Your readers are also stakeholders-people who have financial or
reputarional interest in the success of th e project. These stakeholders use pro-
posals to evaluate candidates before they select who will do rhe job.

As with the other types of technical writing weve discussed so far, proposal
writing can be made easier by using C MAPP to give your process structure.
To increase the chance of your proposal being chosen from rhe stack of
proposals your audience will receive, you need to have a good understanding of
context. The context of rhe proposal is rhe background situation rhar influences
how the proposal is received. There are several factors you should consider:

• Financial issues and economic trends that affect your readers' arrirudes
about rhe proposed project. What money matters are important to rhe
potential client or stakeholder.
• Ethical issues and legal concerns rhar affect rhe project.
• Internal and external political issues-relevant laws or attitudes of law-
makers toward your project might be an external political issue; also, the
Understand, Explore,Materialize I 33
relationships between the group soliciting the proposal and those groups
affected by rhe proposal's execution should also be understood.

As always with the principles of CMAPP, different aspects overlap. We'll


discuss rhe specific audiences who might read your proposal in a moment, bur
these questions can help you consider how your audience firs into rhe larger
context. This list is nor exhaustive, bur it should help get you starred:

• What circumstances led to the audience's need for this proposal?


• What is my audience's relationship to me, the writer?
• What is my audience's relationship to my employer?
• What concerns does my audience have regarding this technical problem?
• What are my audience's values regarding this projecr?Would they prefer a
thorough solution? An efficient one?
• Should I provide an ultimate proposed solution, or is my audience looking
for a segment of a larger process?

If you understand how your audience firs into rhe larger context, you are far
more likely to present rhe information in your proposal in a way rhar addresses
your audience's primary concerns, increasing the odds of your proposal being
selected.
Next, consider the message or content of your proposal. Your audience may
have to sift through a large stack of proposals (physically or electronically) to
find one rhar adequately meets their needs. As you write, ask yourself what you
ought to include in the message of your proposal. Here are a few (bur nor rhe
only) suggestions:

• What solution do I propose to the problem at hand?


• Is my solution clearly expressed?
• Does rhe solution have parts? If so, are rhe primary and secondary solu-
tions clearly ranked?
• Do I exclude all unnecessary information?
• Do I know what information is most important to my audience?
• Do I respond to my audience's real concerns rather than to rhe parts rhar
personally interest me?

When you show rhar you nor only thoroughly understand the problems
your audience faces, bur rhar you also understand how your solution addresses
their real concerns, you make yourself an attractive candidate for the job.
The content of your proposal will be evaluated by specific criteria defined
by your audience. However, in technical fields, projects are generally evaluated
by their quality and feasibility. Your audience will nor only care that your pro-
posed solution is appropriate and supported by solid evidence, bur also that it
can be executed according to the specifications you outline.
134 CHAPTER B~ _
PR_0P
_0_SA_LS_

If you remember rhe four types of readers described in Chapter 1, it's help-
ful to use them in creating your reader profile. In this section, we create a poten-
tial reader profile using these four types of readers, to help you know how they
might approach your proposal:

Primary readers: Since these readers can approve ( or reject) your ideas,
to appeal to them you' ll need to present your case clearly and convincingly.
These people need to agree with your proposed solutions and trust you to
execute those solutions.

Secondary readers: These readers will be the ones who thoroughly check
your evidence. If rhey agree with your handling of the issue, they will rec-
ommend your proposal to the decision makers.

Tertiary readers: These readers are motivated to find problems in your


proposal. They may be lawyers who need to protect the stakeholders from
legal liability, journalists, or community activists who protect the public.

Gatekeepers: These readers work at your company or have additional


interest in getting the proposal accepted. These people may include tech-
nical advisors, company lawyers or accountants, or your direct supervisors.

To find our more about the values your audience has regarding the proj-
ect, do some research. Look into the company, government branch, or academic
institution your proposal is directed to. Analyze the image, or brand, that they
project. Do they value innovation or efficiency? Are they focused on quality or
affordability? Emphasize their values in your proposal.
See if you can find profiles of the people who will actually read your pro-
posal. If you can, call or email a point of contact (POC). Prepare questions spe-
cific to your project and find our if you're headed in the right direction. Analyze
his or her response. Is it bored, excited, or hostile to your ideas? Make changes
accordingly.
If applicable, examine the request for proposals (RFP) for clues. What does
your audience ask to see in a proposal? Deliver on those things.
When it comes to purpose, most proposals express it with a purpose state-
ment, or a one-sentence summary of the problem and its solution.
Purpose statements should be direct and clear. They can start like this:

• The purpose of this project is to....


• Our goal is to....
• The primary aim of this project is ro....

Writers place the purpose statement near the beginning of the proposal,
usually in the introduction, so the audience can understand quickly and clearly
what the proposal offers.
How to WriteYour Pro osal I 35
The text of the proposal should always serve the purpose. Tangential infor-
mation distracts from rhe purpose and may bore or frustrate your readers. You
wane your proposal to be selected as the optimal solution for your audience's
problem. When you're deciding what information to communicate and what to
leave our, always ask yourself if each secrion of rhe proposal is as convincing as
it could be and reflects rhe purpose.
If it is submitted physically (as opposed to electronically), our produce will
usually be presented on 8 1/2 by 11" paper, spiral-bound or in a portfolio.

This section of rhe chapter will focus on the form of the proposal. Mose
of rhe rime, rhe form will be determined by the inscicurion receiving the pro-
posal. Your audience may require the proposal digitally or physically, with cer-
tain formatting. It's important to conform to the requirements given. Deviating
from client requests may give the impression that you, the writer, are careless or
unwilling to follow directions, which will affect how much your readers trust
you to execute their interests.
Before drafting your proposal. look over your request for proposal (RFP),
if you received one, to ascertain what the formatting requirements are, if any.
Many RFPs will give you an outline of sections char are needed. Ochers will
assume you know the sections char are usually included in a proposal.The fol-
lowing are the most common sections included in proposals. However, keep in
mind char nor all of rhem may be necessary for your proposal, and there may be
ocher sections nor listed here char you need to include.

Abstract
Many RFPs require an abstract: a shore summary of rhe most important
points of your proposal. Mose abstracts should only be between 250 and 500
words, bur you should follow the provided word counts with exactness.
An abstract should have:

• A clear scaremenr of the problem and solurion (purpose statement)


• The objectives
• A short description of the methodology
• A plan for evaluarion of the project (if relevant)

Some companies call rhe abstract a summary. Ir should never be over one
page long and should be directed at a non-technical audience, since the audience
is usually managers.
136 PROPOSALS

Int ro du ct ion
The introduction identifies rhe problem your audience wants you to solve
and your solution to char problem. Here are six "moves" your introduction can
make:

1. Clearly define the subject of the proposal, including a description of the


problem, the causes, and rhe possible effects if nothing is done about the
problem.
2. Transition to your purpose statement (your solution to the problem).
3. Emphasize the importance of rhe problem.
4 . Offer background information about rhe problem. (This enhances your
ethos by displaying your expert knowledge of the subject.)
5. Outline rhe organization of your proposal.

An introduction is essentially an argument for your reader to keep reading


your proposal. You want to include a neat summary of your proposal, but you
also must entice your reader to continue reading.

Background
The background section- also called rhe current situation section-
allows you to dive in deeper and show a more derailed picture of the problem
your proposal will solve. Here are three moves che background should make:

1. Define the problem and describe it in appropriate derail.


2. Explain rhe causes of the problem and how understanding those causes
reveals possible solutions.
3. Explain the potential effects of the problem if nothing is done to solve it.

Take your audience's prior knowledge into account when writing the back-
ground. If your audience has technical expertise, you can use more technical
language and less explanarory derails. I f you're writing to managers or bureau-
crats, be sure to avoid jargon and explain the derails as simply and clearly as
possible.

Procedu re
The procedure or the project plan section lists a srep-by-srep method for
solving the problem. Use the outline from your writing process to explain all
major and minor steps in your procedure. Your procedure should include:

1. A clear explanation of the solution.


2. A list of objectives, or goals, rhar your plan strives to achieve.
3. A clear, precise explanation of how you'll achieve each objective- the
major and minor steps, which may include:
How to Write YourPro osal 137
• A timetable, schedule, or rime line to show the reader how long each
objective shOLtld rake to complete
• A list of materials that you will need to complete each task
• A list of people or groups responsible for completing each objective

4. All relevant technical details involved in your methodology


5. The deliverables, or results, of your project
A thorough procedure section shows your audience that you understand
the problem at hand. It also shows that you're capable of developing an evi-
dence-based plan and are competent to follow through with the actual work.

Evaluation
In the evaluation you will explain how you'll measure the success of your
project. This section is more relevant for research projects, which aim to either
add knowledge to a field of research or test it. Most industry ventures use prof-
its as their measure of success. However, if you're creating a proposal for a cli-
ent, you can show them here that you value their bottom line as much as they
do.
Success is often difficult to measure, so you may need to contract the work
to specialists. For example, you may hire a statistical expert to analyze your data
findings or an accountant to evaluate projected profits. Be sure to include costs
for this work in your costs section.

Follow-Up
The follow-up section also mostly pertains to research projects. Many
stakeholders want to know what you will do with your research once you've
gathered it. You should use the reSlllts of your project to add to the field of
snidy. Here are some suggestions:

• Write a paper describing your findings and submit the document to a


retrieval center
• Choose a specific professional conference and present a paper of your
findings
• Use your findings to create or improve a program at your organization

As with all other sections, be clear and specific about your plans

Qualifications
In addition to the ethos you create by writing a clear and derailed proposal,
you can also show your qualifications for the project as you describe the per-
sonnel who will do the work, your organizational support, and your access to
resources.
138 PROPOSALS

Personnel: Provide relevant information about the people who will be


involved in rhe project. This could include:

• Shorr biographies of chose in leadership roles, with a description of


previous experiences char have prepared chem for chis project
• Resumes or vicae of leaders, to be included in rhe attachment section
• Demographic information on rhe company's workforce

Organizational support: You may need collaborative help from ocher


groups within your organization. This could be another department in your
organization, a division in your university, or partner companies. Obtain
letters of support for your project and include chem in the attachments.

Resources: Describe rhe resources you already have access to char will
enable you to complete the project. Although your budget section will
describe the resources you need co purchase, the stakeholders wane co
ensure char you don't have to start from scratch. Lise facilities, laborato-
ries, equipment, or personnel you have access to in order to complete the
project.

Costs and Benefits


The costs and benefits can serve as a conclusion for your proposal. Sum-
marize the benefits of your project and use chem to justify rhe costs. Here are
some moves you can make in chis section:

Use a transition to signal the conclusion of your proposal.

List the costs of rhe project ( they may or may not be itemized, depending
on if you have a budget section). This is a good place to explain what new
resources you need and how they'll contribute to the completion of your
project.

Summarize the benefits of rhe project ( or what will happen now char rhe
problem is being solved).

D escribe the future of the project if rhe readers approve your proposal.

Thank your readers for their rime and consideration and provide contact
information.

Don't add any new ideas to the conclusion. Simply restate the information
you have provided in other sections so that your readers can feel like they thor-
oughly understand your solutions to their problems.
St le 139
Attachments
-====--------------....;..--
In rhe attachment section, otherwise known as the appendix, include any
additional documentation requested by rhe stakeholders. These documents
might include resumes or virae, a bibliography, letters of support, or documents
or technical specifications that you intend to use to complete your project. Some
institutions also ask for a budget to be included in rhe attachments section.

Budget
A budget is an itemized list of resources and personnel required to com-
plete a project, along with the costs. You should have already listed your ratio-
nale for budget items in the costs and benefits section. Here, you should create a
chart that shows a breakdown of costs and a total sum of all costs.
For example, if you need to hire personnel to complete the task, you could
define rhe hourly pay of the workers and estimate how many hours they wi!!
require to complete rhe work. If you need to purchase new equipment, you
should list each separate piece and add up rhe totals.
Create headings for different types of expenses. For instance, you could
have a heading for personnel, equipment, software, expenses for attending a
professional conference, contract work with outside firms, or compensation for
your own rime.
Be realistic about your expectations. Trim the budget where you must;
however, ensure rhar you (and your company) won't lose money by completing

.,•.••
the project.

Since a proposal is part technical report, part sales pitch, you need the sryle
of the proposal to both educate and persuade. Use plain and persuasive sryles
to meet this goal:

Plain style: Communication that values reader comprehension first. Read-


ers should understand each sentence the first rime they read it. Plain style
uses sentences characterized by clear grammar, derailed descriptions and
definitions, and directness.

Persuasive style: Communication rhar aims to influence the audience's


action or thought. Persuasive style uses examples, analogies, and emotional
appeals.

Write in a predominantly plain sryle in sections rhar require more technical


expertise, like the procedure section. Use persuasive style in sections where your
audience will make decisions, like those rhar focus on benefits or analyze rhe
importance of the project.
140 PROPOSALS

However, you don't want the style of the proposal to awkwardly lurch
between two different styles. The proposal shOLtld sound like it was written by
one person- even if it wasn't.
Your proposal should also be easy for readers to skim and understand:

• Front-load your paragraphs with the most important information.


• Use headings that indicate the main ideas in the sections.
• Define any words chat may be unfamiliar to your decision-making
audience.
• Keep sentences within breathing length.
• Use bulleted or numbered lists when derails need to stand our.

In order to get the job, your proposal needs to not only include the best
plan co fix the problem at hand; it also needs to convince your audience chat you
are the right person to enact your plan. Style chat is plain and persuasive will do
a lot of that work.

Before reviewers even read your proposal, they'll see the design. A clean,
professional design creates a positive first impression chat will influence how
people judge che content of your prop osal. If they see a sloppy, haphazard
design, they may assume chat your proposal's content is as well. The impression
formed at first glance often affects che way readers chink about che document
even after going over the content. To make the best impression, ask the follow-
ing questions:

• What's the best way to deliver chis message?


• Do I conscientiously adhere co the constraints or requirements provided?
• Does my produce create a professional, trustworthy image of me, my work,
and my company?

Sometimes, proposals won't require any design. For example, if you're given
a standardized form to fill our, you will likely use the default font and paragraph
settings in the document. A form is already formatted and organized the way
the instimcion wants, so you would mainly need to avoid confusing readers with
unclear paragraph breaks. Use a first-line indent or a space between paragraphs
(not both), and then be consistent with your usage. (Refer to the example of a
proposal in Appendix B.)
Document Desi n 14 I

LAYOUT
If you do need to design your document, first check for any formatting
requirements from the institution you are submitting the proposal to. Those
requirements supersede any advice you see here.
For technical documents, it's best to adhere to an established style guide. If
your company has or uses a style guide, use those formatting guidelines. You can
also use formatting guidelines from a citation sryle guide such as APA, MLA,
Chicago, or Turabian. If none of these sryle guides provide a format char suits
your proposal-and you have permission to deviate from a standard format-
you can create your own layout.
Whatever layout you choose, be consistent. Use the same font, color, and
font size fur all text of the same rype. Thar means your heading rexr should have
a consistent style, while your body rexr has a (different) consistent sryle. All
spacing and indentation should also be consistent.
Any differences in your visual design signals to readers that they should
look for a difference in the content as well. Use those differences purposefully
(like the difference between heading and body text) to draw attention to the
most important parts of your proposal.

EMBELLISHMENTS
All decoration in body text draws attention to itself. Color, graphics, and
charts can make your proposal more attractive, bur they should only draw atten-
tion to rhe most important parts of your document. These design elements
should support the technical content of your proposal and make the informa-
tion easier to understand.
Be purposeful when using any of the following techniques to enhance your
argument:

• Use color in the headings, graphics, headers, or footers to add energy to


the page.
• Use graphs to illustrate trends.
• Use images, maps, or illustrations to clarify or reinforce confusing or
important points.
• Use larger margins to provide room for reader notes or pLLll quotes.
• Use lists and headings to help readers easily locate information.
• Use page numbers so readers can easily reference information.
• Use rabies or charts to organize large amounts of data.

Remember, too much decoration can distract from your argument or make
your proposal look and feel unprofessional. Simple, functional embellishments
will enhance the look of your proposal and create a positive first impression.
PROPOSALS

IC.1JMllll~1[1U
The ulrimare goal of any proposal is to get the job. The proposal represents
an opportunity for you to showcase your technical expertise, trustworthiness,
and understanding of your audience's needs. If you can show your audience rhar
you possess the attributes and resources necessary to complete the job-and to
do it better than the competition-you'll stand our as the right candidate.

Srudenrs can be grouped into reams (about 3 or 4 people) and given an


RFP which they must respond to with a full proposal.
Conclusion 14 3

Microcore
www.microcore.byu.edu

Case Name:
Microcore playable case

Courses:
Technical Writing
Business
Communication
Professional Writing
I 44 CHAPTER8,__
PR
_O_PO
_SA__LS_ - = == = ====--

ABOUT MICROCORE

Developed by Brigham Young university, the M icrocore pla,yable c.ase is designed to give students firsthand
experiences with the challenges of proposal writing and technical cornnunication.
Students must de,al with such problems «is workplace communication, making critical decisions, ,and dei,,eloping
,an effective internal proposal that couk:J effect the chances of long term success for the company. Students are
assigned the role of interns, andquicklyrealize there are communication problems between members in the group
that could interfere w ith the success of the research project.

As a teacher, your primary role is provid ing a framework and environment that helps students accomplish the
different tasks assigned to them in the playable case. The case provides interactive grading pages for instructors to
use during c lass debrief and also provides instructors w ith different grading options. The teaching notes included
in this packet provide guidance on running effectiw class d iscussions and debriefing.

learning obj ectives:

1. The Micorocre playable case is designed to teach workpalce writing and communication skills and.

2. Provide students the opportunity to practice writing a technical proposal to a real audience.

Prepared for I PCS Project Page 2


Conclusion 145

GAME PLAY
The playable case begins with explaining the student's responsibility in working at Microcore. The d ifficult task
of working at the company is. further complicated byan unexpected failure with a research site. While the team
members can easily identifywho else isto blame. stu~nts find find the real source of the proposal and recommend
a solution. The challenge provides opportunity for the students to think critically about d ifferent options for
addressing workplace inefficiencies.

The Students'
In case-based learning, you should expect some anticipated excitement around students wondering "'how w ill this
work,u and "what do I do first." Becaus.e this is a new experience. students engagement and interest is high. They
may worry about how best to accomplish a particular task. etc. We suggest )OU take advantage of this. initial
excitement and suggest to the students that this w ill be a unique learning opportunity where we w ill talk about
technical writing from the inside. and learn what it feels like to write w ithin a realistic workplace setting. As the
students encounter d ifferent problems in the case study. these w ill be unique opportunities for class d iscussion

Tasks
In the playable case, your students w ill be given tasks. outlined by their supervisor. The students w ill have limited
time to finish these tasks, which w ill include reading and processing information, making informed decisions, and
working w ith others. The student's decisions w ill have real impact on the company.

At. the end of the playable case, students general feel relief the project is completed. But this stage is a wonderful
opportunity to debrief the students. asking them howthisassignment was different from other w riting assignments.
How did knowing the audience change your approach to w riting? Did it make the writing more or less difficult?
What d ifferences stood out to ~u?

Setup
The playable c.ase is .a very simple user experience. Instructors d irect students to the log in page where they w ill
create .a user n.ame .and p.assword. After logging into the playable case, they select .,Begin the Playable C.ase~ and
start completing tasks for d.ay one. You may want ~tudents to complete day one in class so you can make sure
everyone is logged on and ready to complete the ta:s.ks for that day. Detailed teaching notes for each day reduce
time for faculty to learn the simulation.

How Does class time work?


Class begins with having people reflect on their experiences - particularly before moving on to another d.ay. This
class d iscussion may last .anywhere from 10--15 minutes .as you get people to talk about what they thought about
the d ifferent characters. how they felt. wllat their actions meant. After you let some student vent their initial
thoughts, you may ask them to move d ipper and try .and understand workplace culture and the diversity of people
working w ithin a company. Next. you c.an ha\e them move into sm.all groups to talk about the next deliverable.
This gives students a chance to talk about the details of the assigned task, whether it's a progress email or a final
proposal. In a sense, you have a debrief and reflections on their experiences in the playable case that allows

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146 CHAPTER 8! -PR
_OP
_OS_
ALS-----"=== = =

SIX WORK DAYS

Prepared for I PCS Project Page 4


Conclusion 147

CHARACTERS

Eric Johnson CEO


Eric founded Microcore in 2002 to help bring his v ision for
the potential offered by nanotechnology to the medical field .
Through Microcore, Eric has been able to help impro-...e the lives
of medical patients all over the world, and continues to push the
boundaries of what was previously thought possible.

Bob Hayden HR Director


Bob draws from more than 12 ye,ars of industry experience to
help oversee Microcore's recruitment. retention. and employee·
management. Bob points to the company's monthly cupcake·
day as the secret to Microcore'sveryhigh employee :satisfaction
rate. Before coming to Microcore, Bob worked for W ilson and
W ilson as their VP of public relations. He has been recognized
for his key role in the numerous d i-...ersity awards W ilson and
W ilson received during his career there as VP of public relations.

Caroline Thurber Director


Caroline brings over 18 years of manufacturing experience to
Microcore. Before jo ining Microcore, she served on the board of
directors for Incisive Surgical, a corporation that manufactures
robotic surgica Isystems.She has also worked for ThoraWarewith
Eric as their CTO for 6 years and brings a kn,ack for increasing
efficiency and output. When not ,at work. Caroline sponsors ,a
high level martial artsch.Jb at BYU, and enjoys scuba d iv ing and
ice climbing in the w inter.

Page 5 Prepared for I PCS P101ect


PROPOSALS

Teaching Notes
Day One,

Simulation- The student w ill watch an intro video about how to use the website and to introduce the Microcore
company. The simulation officially begins w ith a video by Bob Hayden. head of HR. He welcomes the students.
details their role as interns (which includes researching and gathering input to create a clear propOScll). introduces
team members, puts forward long-ter m project goals. and explains th,at the student w ill be presenting their ideas
to the CEO ,and board of Microcore. The student's first assignment on D,ay One w ill be to read the About p,age on
the website ,and rese,arch the d ifferent employees theywill be working w ith at the company.

Key Principles: t-iowdoes the education s imulation work. What is business research?

Lesson Plan:

The teacher may choose to ha~ the students watch the introductoryvldeos in class and explore company profiles
in c lass. This could take up to •15 minutes•.

'What isan internship? Howwill you carry out the duties that Bob needs you to do?"

The teacher w ill guide a brief discussion on research and its i mportance in the business world. particularly when
starting a new project. Students should contribute ideas on where to obtain information generally as well as
specific.ally .

The teacher w ill explain that not all sources of information are- reliable. The teacher w ill ask, NHowcan you tell if a
source is reliable?u Students w ill share their ideas on how to obtain reliable information. The teacher w ill give some
ideas on where and how to find correct information for research. This part of the lesson could take 10-15 m inutes.

The teacher w ill expLain that part of research is taking good notes in o rder to sh«ire information w ith others «ind
be «ible to return to it later. The te«icher w ill ask. ..How do you take good notes?u The students w ill m«ike a list of
strateg ies and ide«is for note taking. The te«icher w ill explain further principles of good note taking and specify that
as the student does the research outside of class, they should use the principles and strategies discussed to take
good notes. This part of the lesson could take 5·10 minutes.

Wrap·up:
For homework. the students w ill start work on day two and learn about the Press Release assignment. Ask students
to hold off writing the press release until next class.

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Conclusion 149

Teaching Notes
Day Two:

Simulation- The d.1y starts w ith a conference call w ith Bob and the team. The student is introduced to each member,
and Bob describes each member's role and the company's goals in general. The students soon learn that something
has gone wrong at the test site. Sob provides more information about the research accident where a test subject
has been killed. The student then explores the lab arnd begins research.

Key Principles: research. w riting a press release. revie-Ning a style guide

Lesson Plan:

Reflection: The teacher takes 10-15 minutes at the beginning of class to d iscuss experiences from the 2nd day
before and answer questions. This is a good time to follow up on the principles taught yesterday and see how
successful the students were at implementing them during their homework.

The students can start working on developing the press rele.ase in class. This part of the lesson could take •15.25
minutes• (depending on student progress).

The teacher may choose to .allow the students time to explore the lab and begin the research process in cl.ass so.as
to be av.ailable if the students have questions during this time. This part of the lesson could take up the rest of class
time. leaving the students w ith .an understanding of what todo for homework.

Wr.ap·up:
For homework. the students w ill finish explo ring the lab and finsih the press release. ~ch student w ill send .a press
release to Bob through the simulation. Studentsc.an start working on D.ay 3.

Page 7 Pr,pa,ed fol I PCS PmJecr


I50 CHAPTER 8,__
PR_0_P0_SA__LS_ -========--

Teaching Notes
Day Three:

Simulation-The student completes 3 interviews w ith scientists and professionals at microcore.The students receives
answers about what happened, who might beat fault, and wlloa re the people involved: a lso an understanding of
how the technology can be used. The student receives an ema ii from Bob, highlighting their tasks for that day. The
email is very short. and predicts the students w ill be surprised by the different personalities at the company.

Key Principles: How to conduct an interview for research purposes. How to report progress through email. How to
deal w ith workplace conflict and involve upper management appropriately.

Lesson Plan:

Reflection: The teacher takes 10-15 minutes at the beginning of class to discuss experiences from the day before
,and answer questions. This is a good time to follow up on the principles taught yesterday and see how successful
the students were at implementing them during their homework, Students should contribute their experiences
with researching and interviewwing the different people involved.

The teacher presents: the topic of interviewing for re.sec1rch pu rpos.es.


"What do you need to know? How w ill you use an interview to find out the answers?"
The students w ill contribute ideas on what information they should be looking for during the interviews. The
teacher may filter the comments: and get the students to think cir tic.ally about the larger goals of the company. This
part of the lesson could take 20-25 minutes.

The teacher presents the idea of workplace conflict and asks.. "'How do you handle a situation where your team
members d isagree w ith each other? W ith you? How do you appropriately involve your supervisors? Students
should participate in a discussion and suggest appropriate ways to handle disagreements among team members,
w ith team members. and how and when to involve upper management. The teacher may bring up ideas like one-
on-one meetings w ith team members. team meetings if the entire team is involved in the d isagreement. and asking
superiors for help when needed, as well as keeping them in the loop. The teacher may emphasize dear and open
communication as one of the best ways to halt and solve workplace conflict. This part of the lesson could take 15-
20 minutes.

Wrap-up:
For homework. each student w ill complete day4

Prepared for I PCS Pro1ect Page 8


Conclusion 15 I

Teaching Notes
Dav Four:

Simulation-The student receives an email from Bob . He provides more data for students to look over in the form
of email chains. The student crafts an email to Bob. The students receivesmore people to interview for the project

Key Principles: Emails and correspondence in sensitive situations. Writing a proposal.

Lesson Plan:

Reflection: The teacher takes 10-15 minutes at the beginning of class to discuss experiences from the day before
and answer questions. Students should contribute their experiences interviewing the personelle at Microcore.

The teacher may elaborate on workplace correspondence. This can be,a continuation of principles introduced on
Day two, but this time the focus is on communiating in sensitive situations. Any questions the students !lave
should be given prime consideration. This part of the lesson could take 10-15 m inutes.

The teacher presents the topic of writing a proposal and helps students answer the following questions, " What
is the rhetorical situation? (may ha~ to explain what this means) 'What is the appropriate style of writing for a
proposal? I-low should a proposal be organized and drafted? What are the basic features of the proposal? The
teacher may want to briefly present on how interna l proposals are used in the workplace. This part of the lesson
could take 20-30minutes.

Wrap-up:
For homework. studentswi11 craft an email to Bob. making sure that their word choice and phrasing is sensitive to
the situation.

The teacher w ill remind the students that the final assignment for is to draft an internal proposal w ith their decision
and rationale for it.as well as their findings from the interviews.

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PROPOSALS

Teaching Notes
Simulation- The student now needs to finish interviewing the people at Microcoreand write the proposal. which
is the focus of their research at the company. Now that the research has all been conducted the student sends
the company their findings. The student drafts the proposal for Bob. If 't<)U like. you may build in feedback on the
student's draft.

Key Principles: Receiving and working w ith feedback in the workplace. Creating an internal proposal in the
workplace.

Lesson Plan:

Reflection: The teacher takes 10-15 minutes at the beginning of class to discuss experiences from the day before
and answer questions. Special consideration should be given to questions and concerns aboutwritingthe proposal
because that is the primary goal for today.

If there is any additional information the students need to wrrte a good proposal. the teacher c:.an take some time
today to go over it. This part of the lesson could take 10-15 m inutes.

The teacher goes over principles of a successful proposals. This can be done in presentation format to give the
students an idea of things like design. font. amount of information, etc. Theteachercan make it interesting by giv ing
a presentation on ..How NOT to write a proposalu, by doing everything wrong. or can create an excellent proposal
which the students are welcome to imitate in their own ways. This part of the lesson could take 15-20 minutes.

The students w ill be receiving feedb..:K:k on their proposal from Bob(actually. from the teacher). and they w ill need
to constructively use this feedback in making necessary changes to their proposal. The teacher may lead a brief
discussion on the value of feedback and how to use it to move forward successfully rather than letting it destroy
motivation or cause d iscouragement or anger. This part of the lesson could take 5-10 minutes.

Wrap-up:
For homework. students w ill usetheirfindings to create the proposal for Bob.They w ill begin work on their proposal.

Optional Day Six:


lesson Plan:

The teacher maywish to takeanotherday to debrief on the simulation experience. Students can take time to express
their feelings on finishing the simulation. what they learned overall about the business world and themselves. and
arry suggestions on how to improve the simulation. Teachers are wekome to submit the student's feedb.ac::k along
w ith their own so that the simulation can be improved.

Prepared for I PCS Project Page 10


-----TECHNICAL DEFINITIONS

Y our newest client is a health insurance company rhar wants you to create
a new glossary page for its compan y website. The company aims to pro-
vide answers to frequently asked questions about terminology used in insurance
forms. They want their customers to be able to use their website as an informa-
tional resource and to attract new customers with their expertise.
How do you ensure that your definitions are clear and complete enough
that anyone can understand them?

l'tJ:r.:.llr.:.1~~:lll.:l~l[lf.:.11tJ~~l~lll[IJ~~
A technical definition explains
unfamiliar terms and concepts to
improve a reader's understanding
• Term
of the term. A definition should
be used when your reader needs
• Category
to understand a new concept or an • Differentiation
unfamiliar word.
Use technical definitions to
clarify rhe specialized terminology rhar technical communicators use. When
you write technical definitions, you need to consider what your audience already
knows. If you are writing to an audience of electronic engineers about a pro-
cess used by microbiologists, you will need co explain certain terms, bur you
can assume they have experience reading technical documents. However, if you

153
154 CHAPTER g__TE_C_HN_IC_A_LD_EFINITIONS
are writing to a general audience, you will have to assume a lack of technical
expertise.
Here are some siniarions char will require a technical definition:

1. You know your audience is unfamiliar with a concept or term. For example,
a proposal on recommended new rests at a steel-making plane would need
to define hole expansion as a kind of resting.
2. You introduce a familiar term char has a different or more specific mean-
ing within rhe context of your document. For example, consider the word
"base:' The meaning of chis word differs when used by a baseball player, a
chemist or a cosmetician. In each case, you would need to define what the
word "base" means in the context of the profession.
3. You need to limit a topic of discussion. For example, a report describing
friction welding (a process where the technician uses lateral force to fose
metals) would need to differentiate the process from traditional types of
welding ( which use hear co fuse metals rogerher). By defining rhe specific
process, the writer clarifies the scope of the report for the reader.
4. You wish co provide a comparison between subjects. In a comparison, it is
essential char the reader clearly understands the similarities and differences
between two subjects. A technical writer should define the terms at rhe
beginning of rhe comparison to ensure clarity.

Technical definitions create clarity for your reader. Use a technical defini-
tion when it is necessary for your reader to understand what a term is or does.

The purpose of a technical definition is to provide a usefol explanation of


how a term firs into categories of similar terms and how it is different from
chose terms. Your primary goal is to be clear and concise. Think about dictio-
nary entries, they aren't long, but they define the word clearly. Your technical
definition may call for more derail than is provided in a standard dictionary defi-
nition but you should still consider these a standard for clarity and concision.
Determine rhe length and level of complexity of your definition based on
the context in which you are writing. The context of a definition depends on
the document the definition appears in. If you are writing a definition for edu-
cational purposes, consider the previous knowledge of your audience to ensure
they learn what you are reaching. If you are writing co inform a technically pro-
ficient audience, you will make different choices.
The message is the definition itself, and how you craft the message is deter-
mined by your audience, as is the terminology and sentence complexity that
would be appropriate for them. If you're writing to a general audience with no
prior knowledge on the subject you're defining, then you probably want to use
HowtoWriteYour Technical De inidon 155
easier language and a simpler definition. If your audience primarily consists of
industry insiders who are familiar wirh at lease the basics, then you may be
able co rely on more complex terms and well-known industry jargon. Keep in
mind, many rimes technical definitions will be used by many different kinds of
audiences so cry to carer to everyone who might access rhe definition. Focus on
defining rhe subject of your definition. What is rhe term you are defining? What
category does it belong to? What differentiates it from ocher terms within char
category? These three questions will guide rhe content of your message.
A technical definition can rake different forms depending on the factors
we've discussed so far. However, generally a technical definition is less than a
page. A definition may be as shore as a parenthetical phrase or as long as several
paragraphs. If your readers have familiarity with the subject and just need a
reminder for a rarely used term, a page-long definition will likely frustrate and
bore chem. To contrast, if you use a term outside the audience's area of expertise
and then fail to clarify, the rest of the document could easily be misunderstood.
Generally, the p urpose of a definition is to provide needed information char
contributes to a larger document.
The form of a technical definition can be basic or extended, depending on
how much derail is necessary to fully explain a concept co your audience.

BAS IC DEF INITION


A basic definition is very short. Ir is sometimes just a phrase, bur usually a
sentence. The basic definition contains three parts:

1. The term being defined


2. The category to which that term belongs
3. The feamres char differentiate the term from ochers in its category

For example, a sentence definition for eosin could read,"Eosin is a chemical


compound used in making red printing ink:' This definition contains rhe term
being defined: eosin. Then the sentence describes its category, "a chemical com-
pound:' Finally, it distinguishes this particular chemical from others: it is used
in making red printing ink.
This formula mimics the way mosr people process new information. First,
we encounter an unfamiliar term. Then we try to place the term in a category
of our previous knowledge. Then we differentiate the term from the others we
already know ( otherwise we may be tempted to discard the word as an unnec-
essary synonym).
Here are a few rips to write useful definitions for your readers:
156 CHAPTER g__TE_C_HN_IC_A_LD_EFINITIONS
• Sometimes readers will not require a full sentence definition. A syn-
onym following the unfamiliar term, offset by commas, can give the reader
enough information to proceed. For example: 'The analgesic, or painkiller,
should be delivered in low doses:•
• Do not repeat the key term being defined in the differentiation section. A
statement like "a screwdriver is an instrument for driving screws;• is frus-
tratingly circular.
• Use qualifying phrases when you use a word differently from standard
practice. For example, if you are using more limited definition for "hydro-
ponics" than is common in your field, you may write: "In this report, hydro-
ponics refers co.. :•
• Use familiar words in the category and differentiation parts of the defi-
nition, as they will otherwise be unintelligible. Avoid sentences like Samuel
Johnson's definition for a network. Even Johnson, a famous lexicographer
who compiled one of the first dictionaries, provides a classic example of
what not to do: "A network is anything reticulated or decussated, at equal
distances, with interstices between the intersections:• This definition uses
such complex language chat you might need to consult several ocher dictio-
nary entries before you could decipher it.

EXTENDED D EFINITION
An extended definition includes the basic definition, followed by more
details to provide a more complete definition. If a basic definition fails to answer
a reader's questions about the subject, an extended definition provides more
information to answer chose questions. An extended definition answers ques-
tions readers might have about the subject, like:

• How does this subject work?


• What are its parts?
• What does it look like?
• How does it compare to ocher similar subjects?

You don't need to answer each of these questions in an extended definition,


but you should keep in mind the likely questions a reader would have in order
to choose which questions to answer.
An extended definition has no particular organizational or length require-
ments. Rather, a technical writer should consider what the audience needs to
know to determine what information to include.
There is no single way to extend a definition. Here are a few suggestions:

• Although you should cry to use familiar words in the category and defini-
tion parts of the definition, some of your terms may still be unfan1iliar to
How to WriteYour Technical De inidon 157
readers. In those situations, you can include further definition of unfa-
miliar terms. For example, a gadget is a small electrical or mechanical tool.
such as the pager, a wireless device that can receive and display verbal and
textual messages.

• Use concrete examples. Examples help the reader imagine a specific rime
or place that rhe defined term may be used or occur. For exmaple, this list
will make frequent use of examples to illustrate how rhe principles may be
used in definitions.
• Compare and contrast the term to other terms within the category. For
example, a micrometer caliper is a measuring tool like other calipers, bur it
differs in that it uses a calibrated screw rather than a slide to measure.
• Explain the word etymology, or history. The word roots can help reveal
the meaning of the word. For example, "conspiracy" comes from the Larin
conspirare, which means "to agree;• or"to plor'.'
• Use an analogy. Compare the term to something the reader might under-
stand better. For example, ransom ware on a compurer is like an intruder
who breaks into your house, changes rhe locks, and then charges you a fee
to change them back.

• Show how a term illustrates a basic principle in action. For example,


distillation processes make use of the principle that liquids vaporize at dif-
ferent temperatures.
• Describe causes and effects. Magnetism, for example, relies on the effects
of electric currents and magnetic moments of electric particles creating
magnetic fields.
• Use negation. Ir often helps readers to define a subject by what it is not.
For example, a digital clock displays a numeric representation of rime, as
opposed to an analog clock, which use rotating hands char point to fixed
numbers on dials.
• Include the location of the term. Sometimes it helps a reader to know
where a thing may be found. Fields like biology, geology, and astronomy
rend to use information about physical locations. For example, it may be
helpful to know that feldspar makes up 41 % of the earth's crust.
• Use graphics to visually illustrate the term. Sometimes a picture can reveal
more abour the term than your words alone can describe.

Here is an example of an expanded definition using the term eosin, from


above:

Eosin is a chemical compound used in making red printing ink (basic defini-
tion). Eosin comes from "eos;' the Greek word for 'cl.awn;' which here refers to
the pink of the dawn's light (etymology). 111e chemical is an acidic compound
that binds to basic compounds to form salts (further definition). The compound
158 CHAPTER g__T_EC_HN_IC_A_LD_E_FI_NIT_IONS
contains bromine and fl.uorescein, which results in a dark red or pink dye (prin-
ciple in action). There are two common variants of eosin, eosin B, which has
a blue undertone, and eosin Y, which is more yellow (compare and contrast).
Eosin Y is also used in histology, or the study of microscopic tissues, to stain
tissue samples (example) .

Plain style is direct, clear, and precise. In order to achieve chis style, use
simple words and short sentences as often as possible. Generally chis makes the
language less exciting but also more easily understandable. Your description
will be more widely understood if you limit jargon (specialized words that are
unfamiliar to chose outside of a given profession).
Another point char can be made abou t style when writing definitions is
char there can be a temptation to use an adverb when categorizing something
unfamiliar so that it seems more familiar. An example of this might be if you
are describing what an "assist" is in basketball: ''An assist is where you pass your
teammate the ball so they are able to score:• Using the adverb "where" weak-
ens your style and unnecessarily clutters the sentence. Eliminate nonessential
adverbs to write: ''An assist is a pass to a teammate just before she or he success-
folly scores:·

Since a definition is generally part of a larger document, the needs of char


larger document should determine the document design. If you happen to be
writing a definition-specific document, use bold, italics, headings, or white space
to differentiate the term being defined from the definition. In addition, keep
the design professional and clean by limiting embellishments and maintaining
consistent font colors, size, and spacing.

IC.1JMllll~1LIU
Technical definitions provide clarity for technical terms char may nor be
immediately understood. A careful technical writer should consider audience
needs as a first priority when determining how much information and what
kind of information wil[ best serve the readers' understanding.
- - - - - -- INSTRUCTIONS

Y ou're a senior lab technician working in a reaching hospital. Some of your


newer hires have had difficulty remembering all the steps to some of the
more obscure lab rests involving samples. In fact, they a!l seemed to be making
the same mistakes when they processed the samples. When you looked through
the lab's protocols for those rests, you realized rhar the information in them is
woefully our of dare.
You need to quickly update your lab's protocols and retrain your techni-
cians so they stop making so many mistakes. Where do you start?

m:r.:.1ir.:.1~~11n11~t•1111l•1~~
Instructions are a rype of process writing. However, unlike process descrip-
tions-which focus on the process itself- instructions address the reader
directly. Ir's assumed that the reader will turn the instructions into action to
complete a task.
Instructions always contain numbered steps. Readers should be able to
read a step and have enough information to pur it into practice. Ar the conclu-
sion of a!l the steps, readers should be completely finished with the intended
task.
Instructions are one type of writing where the readers rely heavily on the
writer. You must write clear, accurate, and complete steps, or your audience may
make mistakes.
If a product or process fails because the instructions lacked clarity or com-
pleteness, the company rhar produced the instructions is held lega!ly liable for

159
160 CHAPTER Q__IN_ST_RU_CT_IO_N_S
any costs, damage, or injuries
incurred.
Instructions explain how • Title
to perform a specific task, • Introduction
such as how to assemble a • Ust of Requirements
product or perform a process. • Tools
For example, a new telescope • Parts
may contain instructions on • Materials
how to put it together, and • Conditions
then how to use it. Instruc- • Numbered Steps
tions include specific, derailed, ■ Step I
numbered steps that directly ■ Step 2
address the readers. ■ Step 3
In your technical career, ■ Comments, Notes, Examples
the kind of instructions you • Graphics
write may be different than ■ Hazard Statements
those most people are famil- • Troubleshooting
iar with, bur they will follow • Conclusion
the same principles These
kinds of instructions include
procedures, protocols, and
documentation.

PROCEDURES
Procedures describe an established guideline for a series of actions that
must be performed in a certain order or manner. Procedures are usually used
in the workplace to ensure quality control and consistency in regularly repeated
actions. For example, doctors use procedures to handle emergency situa-
tions, like what to do when a patient arrives in an ambulance. Procedures are
addressed directly to readers.

PROTOCOLS
Protocols are systems of rules for routine series of actions. Protocols are
similar to procedures, bur the order and manner of the steps for protocols must
be far more strictly followed. Protocols usually apply to siniations that require
greater exactness and precision, such as laboratory experiments or government
operations.
For example, a procedure for treating a burn victim may be altered depend-
ing on the needs of the patient. However, a protocol for a scientific experiment
measuring the effect of fertilizer on plant growth must precisely follow the steps
Understand, Explore,Materialize I6 I
ourlined so the experiment can be repeated and the results verified. Protocols
may be written direcrly to readers or in third person.

DOCU MENTAT ION


Documentation provides guidance on the proper use and maintenance of
a piece of equipment or software. Documentation may also be used as a general
reference for a category of technical problems which can be adapted to partic-
ular situations. For example, software developers use documentation to record
how to use code so multiple developers can collaborate on a single project. Doc-
umentation may be written in third person or directly to readers.

Though there are many specific documents under the umbrella of instruc-
tions, for this chapter we'll call all such documents instructions for simplicity's
sake. For insrructions, the context includes where a document will be read and
how it will be used. Will readers use your insrructions at a desk:' Will they read
the whole document before they start the process, or will they read as they go:'
Instructions also work in the context of safety and legal liability. Read-
ers rely on instructions to do their jobs correcrly and safely. Your instructions
must be perfecrly clear and correct to avoid being found legally liable for tech-
nical malfunctions or injury. If a casual or confused technician causes damage
to expensive equipment or harms workers, your instructions will be subject to
legal scrutiny.

MESSAGE
The message of instructions is the operation of a product or the execution
of a process. You must understand how to use a product or do a process to
effectively instruct your audience. You must also be aware of any dangers or
difficulties that might arise as readers perform the task.

AUD IENCE
Your audience is readers who approach your insrructions with the aim of
carrying them out. Your readers are not just passively absorbing the information
you present-they must also put the steps into practice.
Readers only reluctanrly read instructions. If they could perform the task
without the aid of instructions, they generally would. Your readers will likely be
unmotivated to read your instructions carefully. They will want to understand
everything in them the first time without having to read anything twice.
162 CHAPTER Q__IN_ST_RU_CT_IO_N_S
Your readers will also nor act unless they are told to, so you must spell our
every single step for them. Readers who are following instructions or enacting
documentation do nor expect to have to fill in gaps of information.
Your audience will vary. Readers use instructions for different purposes
depending on their role in executing the process or using rhe product:

Primary readers: Action-takers. These readers use your documentation


to complete a task. To effectively explain the steps, you must keep in mind
their level of skill and familiarity with rhe product or process.

Secondary readers: Advisors. These readers assist primary ones in com-


pleting their task. They could be rrainers, teachers, or managers, or they
may have other advisory roles.

Tertiary readers: Evaluators. These readers do quality control of your doc-


umentation. They may rest your documentation for safety, technical qual-
ity, and legal liability.

Gatekeepers: Supervisors. These readers approve your instructions before


they go our to the primary users. They may or may nor have technical
expertise in your field.

PURPOSE
The purpose of instructions is to enable your reader to safely and correctly
execute a process or use a product. The best instructions include enough infor-
mation so readers don't need any other documents to complete their task.
Instructions and documentation should include a one-sentence purpose
statement at rhe beginning of rhe document. This statement allows readers to
quickly determine if the instructions meet their needs to complete the task.

Example: The purpose of these instructions is to show you how to use


your new digital video camera.

PRODUCT
The final product may be digital or on paper. Paper instructions rend to
accompany technical products. Complicated equipment may require a multi-
page manual for users. Many instructions are recorded digitally, either in a com-
pany's internal files or on its websites.
Instructions always have a list of numbered steps to help readers correctly
follow rhe steps.
Before You Start 163

Do background research on the product or process you're describing.

• Find our the purpose of why the product or process was developed.
• Look up its history of the product or process. Has the task been recently
developed:' Has it changed:' How has it changed:' Are readers familiar with
a former iteration of the task:'
• Collect materials. Are there older versions of the instructions available:'
Can you find instructions for similar tasks:'
• Ask subject-matter experts for advice.
• Observe someone performing the rask.
• Ifpossible, do the task yourself.
Take derailed notes of your findings. Pay special attention to any problems,
difficulties, or safety hazards that users encounter.

TITLE
The title is specific to the subject of the instructions. It should clearly
describe the task that readers intend to complete.
Bad example: Travel Scope 70 Refracror Telescope
Good example: Setting Up Your Travel Scope 70 Refracror Telescope
If the instructions describe a complex task, use headings and subheadings
to break up the overall task into smaller, achievable ones.

INTRODUCTION
The introduction contains all necessary background information on the
subject. The length of the introduction depends on the complexity of the task
and your readers' familiarity with the task. If the task is simple, you may need
only a sentence (a purpose statement). All instructions should contain a pur-
pose statement, or a statement of why che user should be reading the instruc-
tions, such as the one provided below:

Class ic Monopoly Rul es


Object The o bject of the game is to become t he wealthiest player
through buying, renting, and selling property.
164 CHAPTER INSTRUCTIONS

The introduction is also an appropriate place to explain:

• The difficulty level of the task


• The gravity of performing the task incorrectly
• How long it'll take to complete rhe task
• How much of the instructions they must read before they get starred

However, try not to overwhelm your readers. Assume they are capable of
completing the task and address them with confidence.

LIST OF REQU IREMENTS


Before you tell your readers how to begin the task, create a list of require-
ments to make sure they have all the necessary tools, parts, materials, and con-
ditions to complete the task. There is nothing more frustrating to users than
getting halfway through a task only to discover rhey need a tool that wasn't
previously mentioned.
To avoid confusing your readers, separate the requirements into distinct
lists, according to the category of the requirement.

• Tools: Devices or equipment used rn carry out a particular function


• Parts: Components of equipment or machines rhat combine with other
pieces to create the finished product
• Materials: Unfinished substances that must be reformed for use in rhe fin-
ished product
• Conditions: Environmental requirements, such as limitations of rime or
temperature and awareness of delicate operations or danger

How to Dye Easter Eggs: What You Need


• Hard -boiled eggs
• Pape r towels o r newspape r
• Cups deep enough to submerge an egg
• Egg d ipper; tongs, o r slotted spoon
• I/2 cup boiling water
• I teaspoon white vinegar
• Liq uid food colo ring (about 20 cups per color)

NUMBERED STEPS
Steps are the centerpiece of instructions. They will likely make up the bulk
of the text of your instructions.
Howto Write Your Instructions I 65
Arrange the steps in the most logical order that they must be completed.
Consider your readers' patience as you arrange the steps. Don't ask users to
backtrack or repeat steps unless they are necessary to complete the task. Don't
tell users to begin working on many different components of a task at once
when they could finish rhe components one at a rime.

Identify Steps in the Task


To create a logical order for your instructions, you must identify the steps
required to complete rhe task. Use logical mapping techniques to determine the
steps.

1. Use your notes to write a loose outline of how to complete the task.
2. Write rhe name of rhe task in the center of a piece of paper.
3. Draw a circle around the task.
4 . Then identify the major, or most vical, steps in completing rhe task.
5. Write the major steps around the main task.
6. Draw circles around the major steps and connect the circles to rhe main
task circle.
7. Identify the minor steps, or steps rhar lead up to completing each major
step.
8. Write the minor steps around each major step.
9. Draw circles around the minor steps and connect rhe circles to the corre-
sponding major step.
10. Take notes of steps that require hazard statements.
11. Write hazard statements near the corresponding major or minor steps.
12. Draw boxes around the hazard statements to differentiate them from steps.
13. Determine rhe chronological order of rhe steps.
14. Write the order by numbers in each major and minor step.
15. Use this order to write the first draft of your instructions.

Write the Steps with Clarity, Acc uracy, and Safety


Begin with preparatory steps. These steps include preparing materials,
creating a work space, collecting resources, and anything else users need ro do
before they begin the task.

How to Jump start a Car


I. Locate a set of jumper cables.
2. Locate a vehicle with a working battery.
3. Pull t he ve hicle t hat can run close t o t he vehicle with the dead
battery,
166 CHAPTER Q__IN_ST_RU_CT_IO_N_S
Incorrect Example (where did we gee rhe cable?):
• Start by clamping one end of t he positive cable to t he positive post
on the dead battery.
Maintain strict chronological order. All seeps should be arranged in the
order in which rhey muse be completed . Any other order will confose your
reader. Mark each seep with its own s equenrial number. Notes or warnings
shouldn't be numbered because they aren't seeps co be followed.

How to Jumpstart a Car (cont.)


4. Open t he hood on both vehicles
• Note: this may require pulling a lever or pushing a button inside t he
vehicle.
5. Remove any kind of cover over both batteries.
6. Clean any dirt or other substance away from t he posts on both
batteries.
7. Locate t he positive (+) and negative (-) clamps at either end of
the cables.
• Caution: Make sure t hat t he positive and negative clamps never
touch while attached to either battery.To ensure this, try t o have a
different person holding each one of t he four clamps.

Incorrect Example ( note rhe 'cauri on'' is numbered):


6. Clean any dirt or othe r substance away from t he posts on both
batteries.
7. Locate the positive(+) and negative(-) clamps at eithe r end of t he
cables.
8. Caution: Make sure t hat t he positive and negative clamps never
touch while attached to eithe r battery.To ensure t his, try to have a
different person holding each one of t he four clamps.
Use command voice. Begin each step with an action verb, as if you were
talking direcrly co the users and celling chem what to do. Each step should be a
complete sentence.

How to Jumpstart a Car (cont.)


8. Connect one of the positive clamps to the positive post of the
dead battery.

Incorrect Example:

8. At this point you can potentially attach one of the ends marked
positive to t he battery.
How to WriteYour Instructions 167

Write short, straightforward sentences. Your readers should immediately


understand your intended meaning, with no secondary interpretation available.
Any ambiguity will frustrate and confuse your readers.

How to Jumpstart a Car (cont.)


9. Connect the other positive clamp to t he posit ive post of the
working battery.
I0. Connect one of the negative clamps to t he negative post of the-
working battery.
• C aution: Do not connect the second negative clamp to t he nega-
tive post of the dead battery.T his can cause sparks and shortages.
I I. Connect t he the second negative clamp to an unpainted metal
part of the car, such as an engine bolt.

Incorrect Example:

9. Connect the other positive clamp to the working battery, one of


the negative clampe to the working battery, and the other nega-
tive clamp to an unpainted metal part of the othe r vehicle, such as
an engine bolt
Include only one action p er step. Your readers are impatient to move for-
ward and not inclined to read your instructions carefully. Include just one com-
mand in each seep to avoid a second command from being overlooked.

How to Jumpstart a Car (cont.)


I2. Start t he working vehicle.
I 3. Wait a minute o r so for the dead battery t o charge.
14. Try to start the non-functioning vehicle.
• Note: if the vehicle fails t o start, wait a few mo re minutes to let t he
battery charge and t ry again.The vehicle should be running before
you detach the cables.
I5. Once the non-functioning car is running, detach t he cables, begin-
ning with the negative clamps and ending with the positive clamps.
• C aution: Do not let any of the clamps t o uch while any of the
clamps are attached to any part of either vehicle.
16. Keep t he now-running vehicle o n and take a short drive, if neces-
sary, to give the battery more time to charge.
D efine a sp ecific goal for each step. R eaders should clearly recognize
when they have completed a seep. You may need co describe how rhe produce
looks, sounds, smells, or feels different after the step is completed.

Here are a few more things to keep in mind as you write instructions:
168 CHAPTER Q__IN_ST_RU_CT_IO_N_S
Give exact dimensions and measurements. When readers know exactly
how much of something they're supposed to use, they feel confident that
they're following the instructions correctly.

Include repeated steps. When four or more steps must be repeated, tell
the reader to "repeat steps w through z:'When three or fewer steps must be
repeated, they should be written our again in the instructions. If a repeti-
tive process is used, write the repeated steps once, then give the total num-
ber of repetitions and prescribe the sequence of the repeated steps.

Do not omit any steps, no matter how obvious they seem. By the time
you write down the instructions for the task, you will be very familiar with
the task. Don't assume that your readers are just as familiar. Readers won't
read between the lines; they require explicit guidance for every step they
must take.

H ere is the full set of instructions after following the step s above:

How to Jump start a Car


I. Locate a set of jumper cables.
2. Locate a vehicle with a working battery.
3. Pull the vehicle that can run close to the vehicle with the dead
battery,
4. Open the hood on both vehicles
• Note: this may require pulling a lever or pushing a button inside the
vehicle.
5. Remove any kind of cover over either battery.
6. Clean any dirt or other substance away from the posts on both
batteries.
7. Locate the positive (+) and negative (-) clamps at eithe r end of
the cables.
• Cautio n: Make sure t hat the positive and negative clamps never
touch while attached to either battery.To ensure this, try to have a
different person holding each one of the four clamps.
8. Connect one of the positive clamps to the positive post of the
dead battery.
9. Connect t he other posit ive clamp to the positive post of the
working battery.
I0. Connect one of the negative clamps to the negative post of the-
working battery.
How to WriteYour Instructions 169

• Caution: Do not connect the second negat ive clamp t o t he nega-


t ive post of the dead battery.This can cause spar ks and sho rtages.
I I. Connect t he the second ne gative clamp to an unpainted meta l
part of the car, such as an e ngine bolt.
I2. Start t he wo rking ve hicle.
I 3. W ait a minute o r so for t he dead battery to charge.
14. Try to start the no n-functio ning ve hicle.
• Note: if t he ve hicle fails t o start, wait a few mo re minutes to let t he
battery charge and t ry again.The ve hicle sho uld be running before
yo u detach the cable s.
I5. O nce t he no n-functio ning car is running, detach the cables, begin-
ning with t he negat ive clamps and ending with the positive clamps.
• Caution: Do not let any of t he clamps t o uch while any of th e
clamps are attached t o any part of either vehicle.
I6. Ke ep t he now-running vehicle on and take a sho rt drive , if neces-
sary, to give the battery mo re time to charge.

COMMENTS, NOTES, AND EXAMPLES


Comments, notes, and examples are not steps. They provide more infor-
mation to help readers understand a step, bur they can be distracting if they're
included in the same block of text as 1:he step itself. Instead, they should be
placed on the line immediately following a relevant step.
Comments, notes, and examples add further explanation:

• Comments: Additional advice or definitions needed for less experienced


readers or troubleshooting in case a step doesn't work our
• Notes: Background information necessary to understand a specific step or
series of steps
• Examples: A specific illustration that aids readers in understanding the
step
Since comments, notes, and examples are nor steps, they shoald nor be
numbered.

TROUBLESHOOTING
Troubleshooting refers to a systematic search for the source of a failure in
a specific task in order to solve rhe problem. Depending on rhe complexity of
the task, you may need to provide troubleshooting throughout the instructions
or a table listing potential problems and their solutions. Simple tasks may only
require a sentence or two at the end of the instructions.
170 CHAPTER Q__IN_ST_RU_CT_IO_N_S
A troubleshooting note should include a description of the problem's symp-
tom, an explanation of how the problem might have occurred, and how to solve
the problem so the readers can move on to the next step in the instructions.
The following is an example of troubleshooting:

Problem: Game system will not turn on or reboot.


Solution: Reset t he AC adapter.
• Note: most power issues with t he game system w ill be fixed by
resetting t he AC adapter.
• Unplug t he AC adapter from both t he outlet and t he console and
let sit for at least 2 minutes.
• Plug both ends back in, making sure t hat t he adapter is plugged
directly into a wall outlet and not a surge protector or power strip.

HAZARD STATEMENTS
Prevent injury or product damage ( and limit legal liability for you and your
company) by including hazard stateme nts. Hazard statements provide safety
information, warning readers of potential dangers. Place hazard statements
early in the instructions and then again before steps where readers will complete
difficult or dangerous actions.
Hazard statements should always include the hazard, the seriousness of
the hazard, and how to avoid injury or damage.
Most technical writers use a three-tiered rating system for safety informa-
tion: danger, warning, and caution. Definitions and examples of each are pro-
vided below.
Danger: Readers may be at risk for serious injury or even death. Only use
this highest level of warning when users are faced with real danger.

Example: Danger: Carbon monoxide, fire, and explosion hazard. There


are serious hazards associated with using this stove and fuel.
Accidental fire, explosion, and misuse can cause death, serious
burns, and property damage. You are responsible for your own
safety.
Ufiming: Readers may be injured if they complete the step incorrectly. Use
warnings more frequently, whenever readers might injure themselves or others.

Example: Warning: Do not touch any components on the circuit board


while the main AC of DC power is on.
Caution: Readers may make mistakes that cause damage to the product or
equipment. Use cautions liberally to alert readers of difficult steps.
User Testin 17 I
Example: Caution: Before working on the rransmirrer, remove rhe bat-
tery.

CONCLUSION
Use the conclusion co inform the readers char they have finished the steps.
The conclusion may be a separate section or the final numbered step, depending
on rhe formality and length of the document.
The conclusion is an appropriate p lace co describe rhe finished produce,
offer information about how it works, explain how it can be modified, or derail
what the readers might do after completing the task.
The following is an example conclusion for instruction on assembling a
trampoline:

After yo u have finished setting up yo ur t rampoline, test it for safety.


Check over the frame and the springs to make sure no parts are loose
or wo bbling.The n climb o n t he t rampoline and bo unce a couple of
t imes to make sure it is stable.
You can increase t he safety of your trampoline by purchasing an enclo-
sure net t hat can be installed o n the top of the t rampoline.
Your t rampoline is now ready for the whole family t o bounce. Have
fun and be safe!

After completing your first draft of the instructions, rest them on real
users. You cannot assume char any reader will immediately understand your
phrasing, especially if you've become familiar with rhe cask and have lost some
objecriviry. Here are a few suggestions for user rests:

PERFORMANCE TEST
Find readers to perform rhe cask your instructions describe. Give chem a
sec amount of rime to read and perform the cask ( or ace our the cask if you have
limited materials available).
Afterward, ask questions. Where did they struggle to understand the
instructions? Where were the instructions clear? Did they feel like they could
follow rhe insrrucrions correctly?
Based on their feedback, make adju stments to your instructions.
172 CHAPTER Q__IN_ST_RU_CT_IO_N_S
SAFETY TEST
This rest functions similarly to the performance rest, bur it focuses on
safety. Give your readers the instructions and have them read and perform the
task.
Ask them if they noticed the hazard statements. Did they understand the
statements? Did they alter their behavior as a result of reading the hazard state-
ments? Did they think the statements were labeled correctly? Would they add
or subtract hazard statements?
Adjust your instructions from their feedback.

111·•·
The style ( or the tone, voice, and word choice used by writers) varies by
convention for different kinds of instructions.Formal instructions may require
third-person voice, no contractions, and strict traditional grammar. Casual
instructions can be written in command voice and use more common words.
As with all technical writing, avoid usingjargon-or overly specific or slang
technical words- as it might not be understood by readers outside your indus-
try or company. Instead, choose words that can be understood by the widest
audience possible.
Avoid a patronizing tone in your instructions. Obviously, readers know
less than you about this particular task. However, the best way to help them
successfully complete the task is to have confidence in their abilities. Write clear,
accurate, and safety-conscious directions, respecting your readers enough to be
direct and inoffensive with them.

The design of your instructions should be clean and easy to read. With
numbered instructions, you won't be able to use indented paragraphs, so use
white space between each numbered step. Use white space liberally in your
design, especially around headings, notes, hazard statements, and graphics (see
Figure 10.1).
Consider using a two-column design. Instructions usually have such short
sentences on the left side of the page rhat single-column designs have excess
white space on the right. Two columns also leave space for graphics to be inter-
spersed as needed among the steps (see Figure 10.2).
Graphics-such as illustrations, photos, diagrams, and figures-provide
readers with a visual representation of the task. It's often easier for readers to
imitate the steps they see in a drawing or photo than it is for them to translate
written instructions into action.
Desi n 173
-====--------------.,;;..;.;..g;,;

Installing the PulseStar610 Receiver

.&. WARNING

Only c1uthorited personnel are pennilled to perform the initic1I setup or service work. Use only
Electromotive Systems pans.
Do NOT 1ouch any circuit compo11en1s ,on 1he circui1board while the main AC or DC power is
Oil.

Do NITT change the address code senings ln the receiver.


Do NOT run control wires wi1h power wires.
Surge Suppressors must be used with all magnetic conlaclors that are controlled by the
PulscStar-610 syslem.

Assessing the Receiver Enclosure Environment


When you choose a loc::ation ror 1he receiver er1dosure. corisider 1he rollc,,,vh1g guidelines.

L The Receiver can be operated on the following power supplles:

12-24V. DC (+l-50%)
50V/I 10V/240V (+/-20%). AC. Single Phase
Z. Ensure tha11he receiver cndosure will be J>mlec1ed or isola1ed from:
Ambient temperatures outside the range of - ls•F to 158°F (•25°C to ,..70•q (Consult
E.lecuomorlve Systems If you must exceed !his temperature range).
Conosive gases or liquids.
3. As much as possible. ensure lhat the receiver is not surrounded by metal or other conductive
materials thal could prevent the internal antenna from receiving the transmitter signal. If you are
u.slng an external an1c1111a, ensure 1ha1 it l:s 1101 surrounded by metal or other conduclh<c
materials.

Serial Nameplate
Before you prepare 10 moun l the re<:eiver. locate the serial nameplate. The receiver serial nameplate
ls lypically located on the righl hand side of the enclosure. The serial nameplate contains the
Electromo1lvc Systems job numbcr. lhc address code used by the system, and the freq uency channel
used by the syslem. TM Eltttromolive Syst~msjob number Is hnportant ifyou t\'tr nttd to ca ll
Eltt:h·orno1in Sys1e.n1s for stnict. When you mouot 1he receiver, ensure 1ha1 the serial nameplate
ls visible so tha1 you can easily read tl1e Electromo1ive Systems job number.

0 '
Pul.s<Star Addr. I 9327
Frc . S

Pulse-Star•6IO lns11ucllon Manual " 6121/99


2-5

Figure 10.1

If you're using them, keep graphics as simple as possible. When practical,


use diagrams and line drawings with clear labels. If you must use photographs,
avoid including extra details like complicated backgrounds, clutter, or patterned
clothing. The simpler your illustrations, the better they'll be understood by your
readers.

• Assign chronological numbers to each graphic. Begin with "Figure l " or


"Image l "and proceed chronologically.
174 CHAPTER LQ__IN_ST_RU_CT_IO_N_S

ONE FOOT
~
DIRECTIONS

man with his arms s tro tchodout r-11


w Bang in 9 sand pegs
<!JJ
Your Sun Tent looks imptessive b ul i1 · s really s imple lo erectl Imagine pu11ing a coat on a tall

I SLAND SUN TENT


e lid
D Jo~n ,::~\1A t
;;,~~les w th s traight
joiner auached t o 4 plain 0 .9m poles.
around l he per1meter of
the lent

This will make 4 x 1.8m poles O Join t he 2 x0.75m po' es togelher and
~ ~ insert lhem lnlo 1he eyelels on lhe front

~~ ;,,A
smpol&S1A
n101nop1a:1:e ~;" :? ~
l•••~•Sd
/ eg,eesto
jy

~ ,· '

IJ Shde tho 2 remaif'ling 0.9m polH ,n10 EJ Tie wind ropea to top o: l hese poles
the l op honzonl a.l part o l l he A-shape a.nd attach the olher end lo a sand peg
Joiner and 1oin lhem 1n l he mid(Jle
Co nlt l\11

~ ~ .~~
hS.unTIIM
1•fl!IHl,Ch9,n\ffllf
h1""1•h0ton1~

D
~ ~ I Consider which C111ecti0n you want
4,.:>,n,.,n:1~
4 M"'11'1d IOPe CMICOI
"""1'(\l'WII
1,l...,t•l'•I IIOnll()Op
~U oe.tlclllett
your 1en1 t aclng and stand up your
A- ftame strueh.i,e, Dano II ,nto tne sand
wllh your hammer or u lc a cute g uy or
girl lo help vou
-=::::,It::::::::,. 'If
6 Tie 2 more long win<! rope, to t he top

A A
,iA(lflCICt
21<•Sffll•Z.07~ ZoA!il<,a,• ..,._.
of the A-frame and attach the bottom with
anotho,2 oandpo g / l Y
. ,
• YO!# 0 1'1• fOOl ltllnd Sul'IT&ntll UV coated
(up10SPF30..) s ndwaterp1001
• Nol to be us4'0 H i,helter during ••trerne we1tt-er
COl'ld1t10fll
& f

0 Slidelhelenl over lhe "arms"' ol the

lightby,1;a,ng~
framo. You can stretch lho 1opol thO tont
use wind buckle lo
crea1e nKossary
lens ion
'
. ·.
· ••
'
• Not 10 be 1,11ed H 901• p rot.e11on from t h e .un A-shape Jo,ners
• .,,., UH, plHH illl-0.ty l1MlMlr JICMS be'6rl 1MJ11lng tMffl honzonu1.11y
1>1c~ lnb-&9 [ID Now grab a ool<I dnnk.•

Figure 10.2

• R efer to accompanying graphics within the step s themselves. A sim-


ple statement like "see Figure 4" or "(Figure 4)" will notify readers chat a
graphic is available that illustrates rhe seep.
• Caption all graphics. Captions should include the reference number of
the graphic and provide a description of the action depicted in the graphic.
• Coordinate the graphics with the text. Place graphics near the seeps they
illustrate. If space is prohibitive, place graphics on a separate page in the
same chronological order as the steps.

Lascly, don't begin an instruction ac the bottom of one page and complete
it at the top of the next. Breaking up a seep will force your readers to re-read
the step, which they don't want to do. Instead, insert a page break and move the
entire step co the next page.

lC.1lMIJll~1[1U
Your readers are completely reliant on you and your instructions for accu-
rate and complete information char keeps themselves and ochers safe. You cell
chem exaccly what they must do to be successful in their jobs or to use produces
they've paid for. Be mindful of that responsibility as you create instructions.
Conclusion 175
Your goal is nor only to avoid liability for you and your company, bur also to
serve those who will read your work.
Remember to keep in mind accuracy, clarity, and safety. You need your
instructions co provide accurate information so readers can accomplish che pur-
pose of rhe instructions. If you provide incorrect information, your instructions
are essentially useless.
You must also provide instructions that are written in a clear way so read-
ers can understand chem. If your instructions are accurate but incomprehensi-
ble, your readers will experience significant frustrations.
Finally, make sure rhar you prioritize che safety of your readers. Some
readers may feel char safety concerns just make instructions more cumbersome,
bur you know better. When you include seeps and commentary char help keep
your readers safe from accident or injury, you serve their own best interests and
maintain your own integrity as a technical writer.
- -T-EC~NICAL DESCRIPTIONS

Y our ream just completed development of a new, more efficient method of


manufacruring solar roof riles. Your manager assigned you the task of writ-
ing a report to brief the company's executives on your new method. These exec-
utives have many years of experience in rhe industry, bur rhe techniques your
ream developed include groundbreaking research. You need to describe these
new techniques in derail so the executives will feel confident incorporating your
work into the company's existing manufacturing process.
What information should you include in your report to ensure the execu-
tives understand your ream's hard work?

A technical description uses precision and detail to create a working


model of the subject in readers' minds. A description should be used when the
reader needs to be able to mentally visualize the parts of a mechanism or picture
the steps in a process.
Technical descriptions describe products and processes in derail so readers
can create a clear picture in their minds. A technical description is more com-
plete than a technical definition. You'd use a technical description rather than a
technical definition when your reader needs to understand how a product does
what it does or what it is composed of.
The level of derail you include in your description depends on rhe purpose
for which you write it. If, for example, you know your readers want to construct
a similar device themselves, you need to include highly derailed information.

177
178 CHAPTER TECHNICAL DESCRIPTIONS

However, if readers need to make a


decision about purchasing a prod-
uct, they might only want a general- • Heading
ized understanding of what a device • Introduction
can be used for or what it can do. • Definition
Your purpose in writing the descrip- • Purpose or Function
• General Appearance
tion depends on your audience's
• Division into Parts
needs.
• Part-by-Part Description
• Major Part I
T YPES OF T ECHN ICAL MinorParts I
• Major Part 2
D ESCRIPTIONS Minor Parts 2
• Major Part 3
This section outlines five differ- Minor Parts 3
ent types of technical descriptions: • G,-aphics
specific descriptions, general descrip- • Conclusion
tions, product descriptions, specifica-
tions, and process descriptions.

• Specific descriptions: Specific descriptions have to do with single


instances of actions. For example, a description can explain what happened
during an automobile accident, how hard the rain is falling outside, or the
plans for a company's new headquarters. Specific process descriptions must
be associated with a particular point in rime: the past, present, or future.

• General descriptions: Also called universal descriptions, general descrip-


tions deal with repeated or repeatable processes. For example, a general
process description can treat how bricks are made, what bears do when
they hibernate, or what normally happens in the event of cardiac arrest.

• Product descriptions: Also called physical descriptions, they answer the


question, what does the subject look like? Product descriptions create a
mental picture of the parts, or physical features, of the subject. They treat
the color, shape, size, material, and finish of each individual part. They
also explain how each part relates to the others to make up the whole. For
example, a product description might create a mental image of an adhesive
tape dispenser, a gas rurbine jet engine, or a mangrove swan1p.

• Specifications: Also called "specs;' specifications describe a standard of


design to be precisely mer and the required materials in the making of a
product. Specs differ from physical descriptions in that they are often more
numerical than verbal and often appear in bulleted or numbered lists rather
than sentences. For example, manufacrurers of roofing riles use specifica-
tions to ensure that the tiles meet drop height performance requirements.
What AreTechnical Descri tions? 179
Specifications are written in third person and describe the product itself
rather than addressing the technicians involved in creation and assembly.

• Process descriptions: These descriptions answer the question, how does


the subject function? Process descriptions break up processes into a series
of steps or stages that make up the p rocess. For example, a p rocess descrip-
tion could explain how an automobile is assembled , how a desiccator dries
and stores samples, or how a volcano erup ts. Process descriptions also
include some physical description to explain how subjects execute the
process.

AUDIENCE'S EXPECTATIONS
Process D escription Process Instructions

Expects to understand the


Expects to perfonn the
Purpose sequence and relationships
process.
of actions.

Audience Does not expect to Expects to directly control the


Partici pa ti on participate . process.

Expects active first or


third person point of
Point of view. Passive voice also Expects instructions to be in
View acceptable when action second person.
is more important than
actor.

Expects past tense. Present


t ense appropriate for Expects instructions to be in
Verb Tense
"historical present orfor command mode.
general processes.

Has numerous, serious


Legal/ implications.The reader must
Few implications because
Ethical be aware of the condit ions
the reader will not act.
Implications they should be operating
under.
180 CHAPTER TECHNICAL DESCRIPTIONS

PROCESS DESCRIPTION VERSUS PROCESS INSTRUCTION


A description does nor necessarily intend a reader to be able to recreate a
partintlar process. Unlike instructions, which tell a user how to complete a pro-
cess so that they might accomplish a task, process descriptions are informative.
Process descriptions may include steps, but they don't imagine the reader to be
an active participant in the process.
Use this chart to differentiate audience expectations in a process descrip-
tion versus a sec of instructions.

The purpose of a technical description is to clarify a subject chat may be


misunderstood by your intended audience. Focus on the characteristics of the
product or process char you're describing. Most of rhe rime, a description pro-
vides new information char the reader can use in research, development, or
construction. The degree of derail you must include to provide needed clarity
depends on the context and the audience in question.
The context influences how the document you're writing will be received.
The technical description is rarely rhe only information you're presenting to
your audience. A description may be used in any technical document-includ-
ing a report, proposal, instructions, or even an oral presentation. The context
of the larger document should be taken into account when writing a descrip-
tion. This will help you to determine the scope of the technical description.
Some projects may require a general, summary description while others may
require in-depth, derailed description of every facer and feature. Understand-
ing the context will also help you to know what nor to include-to define the
boundaries of your description. If other descriptions are included in the larger
document, then you don't need to include those in your description. Under-
standing the larger goals of the project will allow you to know what information
is essential and what is extraneous.
When you know who your audience is and what their needs are, determin-
ing the level of derail required in a description becomes less of a guessing game.
Your documents will likely reach any of four different types of audiences:

Primary readers: these readers most need to understand your description.


They'll use your description in some way.

Secondary readers: these readers are usually experts on rhe subject. They
require technical derail and accuracy.

Tertiary readers: these readers are generally not rhe intended audience,
bur they have some kind of stake in rhe process, product, or place you're
describing. They usually have motivation to find fault in your document.
Understand, Explore,Materialize 18 I
Gatekeepers: these readers review your document for technical correcrness
and precision.

Be sure to account for all four types of audiences when composing your
description.
Once you've determined the context, audience, and purpose of your tech-
nical description, you need to craft the description itself with these elements
in mind. The message-or subject-of your description is the thing you're
describing. Include as much derail as the product requires, not more. Your
reader doesn't wane to spend any more rime on the description than he or she
needs to. Allow the reader to quickly get the necessary information and then
move on. A description with too much information can be just as bad as one
with too little. What does your audience already know? You don't need to waste
time and effort describing or explaining elements that your audience is already
familiar with. Overall, the goal is to produce a thorough yet concise description.
A technical description can be crafted in a variety of forms and formats. A
description may range from one brief sentence to several pages, depending on
how much information the readers need to fully understand the subject. Often,
a description will not be the only text in a document, but will instead make up
part of a larger document (see Figure 11.1). Present your description in a for-
mat that firs the project.

FIGURE 6 illustrates a side view of one embodiment of the structural


support system for a continuous supported work surface area that may
be created around the entire perimeter of the portable storage unit 20
that is part of the present invention. The hinged door 28 of the upper
storage area may be folded down and rested upon or attached to the
removable longitudinal work surface support material 35. The structural
material that keeps the hinged door 28 horizontal may rest upon the
removable lateral work surface support material 34. The removable
lateral work surface support material 34 is long enough to be slid
through and centered upon the hinged handle 30. The removable lateral
work surface support material 34 may then either rest upon or be
attached to the hinged handle 30 and the removable longitudinal work
surface support material 35 in a manner that results in a continuous
workspace area around the perimeter of the portable storage unit 20.
Figure 11.1 This is an example of a technical description as part of a larger document.
The document is a patent application for a portable storage and transport unit. Included
in patent appliations are descriptions of every part of the invention with detailed, num-
bered figures. This paragraph describes Figure 6 in the application. The numbers refer to
ca/louts in the Figure (see Chapter 4 for iriformation on ca/louts) (Farmer, 2017).
182 CHAPTER TECHNICAL DESCRIPTIONS

While a definition of a term provides an understanding of the term in com-


parison co other terms, a description lays out in detail the specifics of che term. A
description is generaHy separated into four pares: the heading, the introduction,
che pare-by-part description (body), and che conclusion.

HEADING
While your technical description may not be a complete document on its
own, it should be dearly separated by a heading or ride. Draft a heading chat
specificaHy identifies che purpose of you r document.
For example:

Crohn's Disease: Symptoms, Causes, and Tests

Description of Badges that Monitor Worker Exposure co Gases

How Does a Belt Drive Lathe Work?

Your heading should dearly label rhe text chat foHows as a description.

INTRODUCTION
Your introduction should be front loaded with the most important things
the reader needs co know. Then, oucline the organization of the part-by-part
description so readers know what co expect in the rest of the description. Fol-
low this oucline for your introduction:

1. D efinition of the subject. What is your subject? What category does it


belong to? How is it different from ocher subjects within the category?
2. Purpose or function of the subject. What does the subject do? In what
context does it exist? Why does the subject matter to the reader? Here it's
helpful co explain how the readers relate to the subject. Can they operate
the subject? Can they hold the subject in their hands or do they need to
move around co properly view it?
3. General appearance of the subject. Use sensory words to create a vivid
picture of the subject. You might also include a comparison with a familiar
object. Familiar comparisons give the reader a big picture by making con-
nections to concepts they already u nderstand. For example, the behavior
of electricity in a circuit can be compared to the behavior of water in a
pipeline.
4 . Division of the subject into its major parts. List the parts in the order
you'[[ be organizing chem in the body.
How to WriteYour Technical Descri don 18 3
PART-BY-PART D ESCRIPTION
To give a full description of the subject, you need to describe each of the
component parts in sufficient detail. Technical writers use a hierarchical sys-
tem to organize the parts: the rwo categories are called major parts and minor
parts.

Major an d Minor Parts


Major parts refer to the largest or most important parts of the subject.
Major parts are made up of minor parts.
For example, an analog clock is made up of two major parts: the clock face
and the movements motor ( the battery-powered gears that move the clock
hands).
The clock face is made up of four minor parts: dial, hands, glass, and case.
The movements motor is made up of seven minor parts: battery compartment,
microchip circuit, quartz crystal oscillator, stepping motor, gears, time set knob,
and central shaft.
Of course, the minor parts can be broken down even further. The circuit
and electric stepping motor are composed of even smaller parts. Describing
these very minor parts can clarify how a clock works, bur your audience may
not require that level of detail.

Types of Parts
There are three types of parts that can be described: features, functions,
and stages of a process.

• Features are the physical parts of a subject. The clock example above
described the features of the clock. The features are divided by their phys-
ical appearance in relation to each other rather than by their firnction.
The face of the clock is visible to the user while the movements are placed
behind the face.

• Functions are the purposes that the features of the subject perform. A
clock could be described in terms of what the separate parts do rather than
what the features look like. The three major parts in this case would be the
power source, the movements which control the motion of the dials, and
the clock face that displays the time. Here, the functions of the clock deter-
mine the division of the pares.

• Stages of a process are the chronological steps that make up a process. For
example, the process of soldering an electrical connection are as follows: a
worker secures the materials and equipment, then prepares the soldering
iron, then prepares the joint to be soldered, then applies the solder, and
finally, tapes the joint.
184 CHAPTER TECHNICAL DESCRIPTIONS

Arranging the Parts


Follow the organization of parts you outlined in the introduction. To write
each paragraph in the part-by-part description, follow the same organization
as the introduction, treating each major part as its own subject that must be
defined and described:

1. Definition of the major part.


2. Purpose or function of the major part.
3. General appearance of the major part.
4. Division of the major part into minor parts.

This pattern can be repeated for each minor part.


When you decide how to order the parts, do it in such a way that the
organization clarifies the purpose of the subject. If you're describing a process,
arrange the stages of the process in chronological order.
A product description requires more thought. For example, a technical
writer composing a description of a rape dispenser woLtld use the two purposes
of the subject to determine the organization of the parts. A dispenser's purposes
are first, to hold a roll of tape in place and second, to cut sections of tape. To
describe the parts of the dispenser, the writer could choose to organize the parts
by fearures (a logical organization would be from top to bottom or from bottom
to top of the dispenser). Alternatively, the writer could arrange the parts by
function, in the order a reader might use the parts to dispense rape.
The following are possible orders for the parts based on the type of descrip-
tion the writer chooses.
Arrangement by Fearure:
I. The base
2. The adhesive tape holder
3. The roll of t ape
4. The cutting blade

Arrangement by Function:
I. The roll of t ape
2. The adhesive tape holder
3. The base
4. The cutting blade
Either pattern of arrangement can make logical sense in this case.The most
important factor to consider in arranging the parts is that the pattern be logical.
St le 185
CONCLUSION
---====--------------..,;;.;,-
Conclusions are nor always necessary for a description. As long as your
description follows the outline you created in your introduction, a reader
will not be surprised when you describe the last part of the subject and end
unceremoniously.
However, if you choose to add a conclusion, it's a good place to summarize
how the parts relate to each other to make up the whole. Reiterate the purpose
of the subject. A conclusion should answer readers' questions about what the
subject looks like, how it works, or how it's used.
If you're writing a process description, be sure to describe one complete
working cycle of the process and indicate that the next step would repeat the
first step, beginning a new cycle.

GRAPHICS
As a technical writer, you may not be responsible for producing visual rep-
resentations of your subject. Trear graphics as a supplement ( useful, bur nor
essential) to your written descriptions.
However, if you have access to graphics, a written description combined
with a visual representation can provide a more complete picmre for the reader.
If you use graphics, include labels to clarify how the graphics relate to your
description.
Colors, irregular shapes, relative sizes, and complex physical relationships
are often more easily seen than verbally explained. Visuals can be effective in
depicting actions as well as objects. Before-and-after photos, ghost drawings,
arrows indicating direction of movement, and varying degrees of color to rep-
resent temperature changes can enhance your reader's understanding of your
description.

..,....
Since clarity is the most important purpose of a description, plain style is
generally the best choice.
Plain style is direct, clear, and precise. In order to achieve this style, use
simple words and short sentences. Generally, this makes the language less excit-
ing bur also more easily understandable. Your description will be more widely
understood if you limit jargon (specialized words that are unfamiliar outside
your profession).
Here is an example ofjargon:
186 CHAPTER TECHNICAL DESCRIPTIONS

Guts should be sec in 10/ 12 in a serif font, and are printed


1/ 1 no bleed.
Here is an example of a description char would be more easily understood:
Book interior pages should use a 10 pr font with 12 pr line
spacing. The font should have a serif. Inside pages are printed
double-sided in black and white with no artwork or rexr
extending into the margins.
• Only use passive verbs ("co be" verbs) when rhe subject is more import-
ant than the actor in a sentence. Otherwise, use active verbs. This practice
will make it more obvious what is going on in your descriptions. Passive
sentences can obscure cause and effect relationships char are essential co
technical descriptions.
Passive: This show was made possible by a grant from the WhoDunlr
Foundation.
Active: A grant from the Who Dunlc Foundation made chis show pos-
sible.
The goal of a description is co make unfamiliar produces and processes
familiar. Create connections co concepts that the readers already understand.
Here are a few suggestions:

• Compare and contrast the subject co other subjects within the same cat-
egory. This comparison can be used to compare unfamiliar subjects with
familiar ones or to simply highlight similarities and differences. For exam-
ple: "The 2013 Audi A6 dashboard features a full technology suite with a
flip-up dash-cop display with a rouchpad. The 2013 BMW 3 Series has
a similar dash display with couch technology, bur rhe rouchpad remains
stationary in the display position:•
• Use a simile. A simile compares the subject co something more familiar
with the words like or as. For example: ''A watch is like a miniature clock,
with all the pares shrunk down co fir on a person's wrisc:•
• Use an analogy. An analogy is like a simile, bur it compares two things on
two different levels. For example: "Internee bandwidth is like a freeway. A
freeway only has so many lanes and if everyone cries co use it at once, traffic
moves slower. Bandwidth is similarly clogged by coo many users at once'.'
• Use a metaphor. A metaphor creates a picmre of rhe subject by equating
the subject with a more familiar th ing. For example: "The desktop is the
junk drawer of the computer. Ir's a good place co save files you need right
away, bur keeping coo many files on the desktop leads to an overstuffed
junk drawer where you can't find anything:•
• Emphasize causes and effects. This method is especially important for
process descriptions. By emphasizing causes and effects, you show how one
stage of a process namrally leads co rhe next seep. For example: ''Acid rain
Desi n 187
- - - - -~-~- --------iiiiiiiiii____......_..;;..;;,iiQii
results from a series of chemical reactions caused by sulfur dioxide and
nitrogen oxides spewed into the atmosphere by power planrs:•
• Use negation. Ir often helps readers to define a subject by what it isn't. For
exan1ple: ''A solid state hard drive stores information on your computer, bur
unlike a traditional hard drive, it contains no moving parrs:'

• Avoid using subjective qualifying words like "very;• "easy;• and "always:•
These words are generally superfluous and speculative. Include only nec-
essary derails. Describe the subject using sensory language. Use words
that describe sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste to create a more vivid
picrure of rhe subject. For example: "A hor-air balloon is composed of an
envelope of sewn-together panels of srurdy nylon. The fabric can withstand
temperatures of more than 220 ' Celsius from the propane-foeled flame:•

111,,[et~
Your company will most likely have a standardized documentation or cor-
porate design rhar you can use for your layout. However, if you have more free-
dom to design the rexr of your document, you might want to consider a layout
rhar will aid the organization of your description. For example, headings can
help to clarify the organization and help readers to quickly find what they're
looking for. For the same reason, minor parts can be enumerated in bulleted
lists. Tables help to organize numerical data, and labels increase rhe clarity of
graphics. When laying out the document, leave white space for images with a
rwo- or three-column format.
The medium you choose to deliver your report will depend on the needs of
your audience. Assume that any descriptions you write will need to be available
electronically. Save your final draft in a file that will maintain your formatting
choices, such as a PDF.
If you need to present your documentation to an audience, you might cre-
ate a slide presentation. If you need to distribute your definitions or descrip-
tions to a wide audience, consider posting your rexr online.

Technical descriptions provide a derailed picture of a process or product to


improve clarity for the reader. A technical writer should consider the audience's
needs first when deciding what level of derail the description should provide to
be helpful to rhe audience.
I 88 CHAPTER TECHNICAL DESCRIPTIONS

Farmer, M . (2017). US. Patent No. 9,826,831. Washing-ton DC US.


- - -Lll-ERATURE REVIEWS

Y ou work in a research lab rhar creates new therapies for end-of-life care.
Your ream has begun developing treatments for patients who've experi-
enced recent heart attacks. You are interested in surgical methods of treatment,
specifically grafting animal rracheas onto damaged human tissue. However,
before you can compare rhe effects of using goose trachea grafts over native tra-
chea as a treatment for heart attacks, you need to find our the effects of treat-
ments that doctors currently use.
How should you gather and present this information to your team before
starting your own experiments?

Literature reviews answer a specific research question by summarizing,


synthesizing, analyzing, and evaluating the most current and relevant research
on your topic.
In many technical industries, researchers are increasingly producing new
primary studies or reports on technical innovations; in 2008 , as compared
to 1991, researchers created three rimes as many studies on malaria, eight
rimes as many studies on obesity, and forty rimes as many studies on biodi-
versity (Paurasso M. (2010). Worsening file-drawer problem in the abstracts
of namral, medical and social science databases. Scientomerrics, 85, 193- 202,
doi:10.1007/ slll92-010-0233-5] .
One way to sray competitive in a fast-moving environment is to produce
literature reviews to share with your colleagues.

189
Mose of the rime, a litera-
ture review becomes necessary
because of a research question • Introduction
or a practical problem. Your ■ Background Information
company may want co know ■ Explanation of the Subject
rhe best methods for per- ■ Research Methods
forming a particular process ■ Summary ofFindings
or manufacturing a produce. • Body
You also may need co stay up • Subtopic I
co dare with innovations in a • Subtopic 2
particular field. • Subtopic 3
To find the answer to • Conclusion
your research question, you • Bibliography
must:

• Thoughcfully select studies char are relevant and current


• Critique studies for rhe quality of their methods, results, and conclusions
• Look for connections and disagreements between studies
• Present your findings as clearly and objectively as possible

Since literature reviews are designed to survey as much relevant research as


possible, they are often quite long documents. Ir wouldn't be surprising to create
a literature review of over five thousand words to adequately brief colleagues
about the latest research in even an obscure area of technical study.

When you approach a technical problem or question, you definitely don't


want to waste time replicating original research or developing produces that
have already been completed. The work chat has already been done to answer
your question is the situation, or context, in which you muse view a literature
review. A literature review summarizes and evaluates the current knowledge of
your chosen subject.
Literature reviews muse be focused around a central finding or observation.
This organizing idea or claim is usually rhe answer to a research question you
have as you sift through the literature on a particular topic. In order co present
the most accurate and complete answer, you muse thoughtfully consider the pri-
mary research. Here are four methods of critique char can aid in forming your
claim and crafting your message:

1. S um mary: Scare rhe main points of the relevant research, including rhe
arguments char each study proposes.
Understand, Explore,Materialize 19 I
2. Synthesis: Combine ideas from multiple studies to form a theory about
your topic. Look for similarities and differences between studies co deter-
mine researchers' consensus and disagreements in the subject area.
3. Analysis: Examine and critique the study's methodology and interpreta-
tion of findings. Ask if the source has any bias, if the evidence can be veri-
fied, if the methods are sound, and so on.
4. Evaluation: Using criteria determined by your field, assess the quality of
the research. This will often include a value judgment on whether the study
holds up to scientific scrutiny.

In a workplace setting, your audience for this kind of document will be


company peers or supervisor. However, literature reviews are often published
in scientific and technical journals to aid other researchers in keeping up with
industry trends.
If your reviews are made available to a wider audience via publication
(sometimes as part of a white paper), you may have to rake into account differ-
ent levels of technical knowledge-for example, student or novice researchers
may use your work to get a better picture of rhe status of a field of research.
Understanding who might use your analysis will help you make decisions about
derail and specificity.
Remember, the purpose of a literature review is to provide an accurate and
complete review of the technical community's answer to a particular research
question or claim. You may find that researchers disagree about a correct answer
or that most researchers agree on a particular position, with a small group of
dissidents having an alternative view. In any case, you must present the nature of
the disagreement as accurately as possible so readers have a good understanding
of the status of the answer within the research community.
Literature reviews, by their nature, are lengthy products. They can easily
reach up to five thousand words because they must adequately summarize as
much relevant research as possible. So understanding the expectations of your
readers will help you determine the length and depth of your analysis. A litera-
ture review can appear as paper documents or digital documents, and as men-
tioned earlier may be formatted for inclusion in a scientific or technical journal.
Bur they may circulate only as internal documents meant to be used in one
company.
192 CHAPTER

BEFORE You START


You'll do a great deal of work before you write a single word of your liter-
ature review. You muse select a subject, make a plan, research, cake notes, and
create an outline.

Select a Subject
In a technical workplace, you'll likely choose a subject based on the needs
of your company. However, in an academic setting, you have the opportunity
to choose a subject chat can help prepare you for your career. Use the following
criteria to choose a subject:

• The subject is interesting to you.


• The subject is related to your intended career field.
• The subject is familiar enough chat you can read intelligently about it, but
it's not so familiar chat you have nothing co learn.
• The subject is narrow enough char you can adequately cover it in around
five thousand words.
• The subject has enough published material available for you to review.

You may also consider choosing a subject chat is an important, popular, or


cutting-edge aspect of your field. You may find chat the knowledge you gain by
creating a liceranire review will aid you in your job search after graduation.
The kinds of subjects chat are appropriate for a liceranire review include:

• Subjects relating to a project you're actively working on


• Subjects concerned with making a practical decision
• Subjects char add to your practical .knowledge

Search Keywords
Make a list of possible relevant terms to begin researching. These terms
will likely be rhe words you use to search library databases, called keywords.
These keywords shoLLld help you find books, articles, and ocher publica-
tions chat relate co your chosen subject.
However, you may find chat a subject you find interesting doesn't have
enough research available to write a literature review. In char case, you may need
to use synonyms of your keywords or simply use ocher keywords to find more
information.
If you still don't find any information, you may have co abandon the subject.
You may also find chat a chosen subject is coo broad, and chat to properly
review all relevant research you'd have to write a book.
How to WriteYour Literature Review 193

If you discover your chosen subject is too broad, consider focusing the
subject to answer a part of the total question. You'll have to choose precise
keywords or longer phrases to narrow your subject. Nore that longer keyword
phrases usually result in more specific studies, which will make your literature
review all the more useful in answering a specific research question.

Make a Plan
While you may find useful information by searching library databases hap-
hazardly with relevant keywords, you'll ultimately save rime by formulating a
plan for research.
Once you're satisfied that your subject is neither too broad nor too narrow,
plan our methods for researching and raking notes of your findings.
First, make a list of all the things you want to know about your subject.
Then add things you think your reader will want to know. These lists will some-
times be identical; other rimes they won't. Your lists will help you identify what
information is important to your review as you read through your sources.
You'll probably have to revise this list several rimes as you proceed with your
research.
Next, set actionable goals leading up to your deadline. Give yourself mini-
goals for researching, raking notes, creating an outline, writing a draft, and
revising.

Research
There are so many methods for research that this text can't possibly cover
them all. Here are a few of the most relevant rips for literature reviews:

• Use keywords in library or journal databases to find studies that directly


relate to your subject.
• Make sure all sources are credible ( typically peer reviewed by credentialed
experts in the subject field).
• Use books for background research.
• Check the dates of publications to find the most recent studies.
• Read abstracts, discussions, and conclusions before you commit to read-
ing the whole study.
• When you find a study that directly relates to your subject, read through
the bibliography to find related sources.
• If you know the citation of an article, search for it directly.
• Keep track of the search terms and sires that you use so you can replicate
your search.

If you find that another researcher or writer has already completed a liter-
ature review on your subject, use rhar source for your review. Ir's unlikely rhar
194

the review will include the most recent research, so you can still contribute an
updated lirerarure review to your field.
For a more complete review of research methods, see the research section
from Chapter 3.

Take Notes
Unless you want to read through your sources a second rime as you write
your lirerarure review, you should take notes as you research. Since a lirerarure
review involves compiling information from various sources, it is important to
make sure your notes contain both accurate information from your sources and
exact references to where you found the information.
As you discover new sources, write down the citations using the sryle guide
required by your field. Use a word-processing document co keep track of your
citations or an online citation manager such as RefWorks. Formatting your
citations as you go will save you rime on your final draft.
Develop a method of note-raking char works for you. Some people prim
our all their sources and use sticky notes direcrly on the pages to mark import-
ant passages. Ochers hand write notes on cards with authors' names and page
numbers. Still ochers type notes into a word processor along with the citations.
Whatever method you use, remember co keep crack of authors' names and page
numbers so you can include rhe information in your internal citations when you
write your review.
As much as possible, write your notes using your own words. Be sure to
summarize main points, synthesize similarities and differences between sources,
analyze methods and resulrs, and evaluate the quality of srudies. As you write
these ideas in your own words, you can more easily place rhe information in
your lirerarure review. Ir'll also demand char char you fully comprehend what
you read rather than just parroting the information.
Include context in your notes so you'll understand specifics when you read
chem later. You don't wane to have to read through your sources a second rime
when thorough notes could've saved rime.
Record direct quotations sparingly. A lirerarure review mosrly shows your
summary and interpretation of a subject's current scare of research. You shOLtld
quote the words of an author only when the phrasing is particularly memorable
or interesting, the author is a well-known authority, or the concept is difficult co
explain in different words.

LITERATURE REVIEW ORGAN IZATION


Read through your notes thoroughly and be familiar with the content of
your research before you even begin writing. When you know your subject well,
you'll likely see connections and have an inruirive organization in mind chat you
How to Write Your Literature Review 195

can use in your lireramre review. While there is no single organizational strategy
prescribed for literature reviews, most arrange findings in an introduction, body,
and conclusion.Throughout this section, you can refer to Appendix B: Student
Examples for an example of a literature review.

Int rodu ction


The introduction should provide a clear picture of the issue you investi-
gated. Include necessary background information, a clear explanation of rhe
subject, your research methods (if needed), and a brief summary of your find-
ings (including a thesis sraremenr).

Background Information
Starr wirh background information, or rhe context of the subject. Remem-
ber rhar your reader doesn't have all the specialized knowledge you gained
during your research. Explain as m uch about rhe background as necessary to
understand rhe research question.

Explanation of the Sub;ect


D escribe the research question or problem clearly and simply. If your sub-
ject has multiple parts or steps, describe them. Define terms your audience may
nor have heard before, as well as difficult or unfamiliar concepts. This is a good
place to list the aspects of the subject as they will appear in subheadings within
rhe body section of rhe literature review.

Research Methods
A literature review may also inclLLde rhe research methods you used to
find your sources, describing the databases and keywords used as well as rime
constraints. This information can give your reader some context about rhe thor-
oughness of your literature review.

Summary of Findings
Explain rhe overall consensus of rhe answer to your research question
or problem. If you found any inconsistencies or nuances about rhe answer in
your research, write brief descriptions of them. Include a thesis statement, or a
one-sentence summary of rhe main findings from your research.

Body
The body makes up rhe bulk of a lirerarure review. Within ir, each main
idea of your subject is partitioned into subsections. These main ideas should
come from your research. Look for common themes, questions, and subtopics
rhar your sources continually address. Those aspects should be included in the
body of your literature review so your readers have a thorough understanding
of rhe available literature.
196

Some examples of subtopics appropriate to a lireracure review include:

• Pares, seeps, or aspects of the subject


• Methodologies used in studies
• Achievements in rhe subject
• Consensuses on the subject
• The main areas of debate about rhe subject
• Research questions char have yet co be answered
• Approaches, limicarions, and conclusions of sources, including past reviews
• Innovations or recent findings that may nor have been included in past
reviews

Use subheadings to separate rhe foremost aspects of your lirerarure review.


These subheadings should logically relate co the main subject of the lireracure
review.
Begin each subsection of your body with a topic sentence char describes the
most significant findings from your sources concerning rhe subsection.
Individual paragraphs should avoid simply summarizing findings from
your sources. Of course, some summary is necessary for your readers to under-
stand the context of the findings. However, you should also use insights from
your notes to synthesize, analyze, and evaluate the findings.
Each section should discuss one aspect of your topic and include research
from at least two sources. in order to synthesize information from your sources,
or to compare and contrast findings. Hine: good synthesis means you should
never end a paragraph with a citation.
Lee's compare two paragraphs. One paragraph merely summarizes informa-
tion from two scudies, while rhe ocher employs synthesis, analysis, and evaluation
to reveal useful insights about rhe scudies:

Paragraph 1:

Researchers of human emotion have been interested in self-doubt for many


years. A 1983 report from TI1awler and Gilbert surveyed plant workers on how
they felt they performed in their jobs. The responses were varied and interest-
ing. Several years later Harvey carried out a similar study focused on university
students who had just finished a m~or project and had not yet received their
grades (2005).

Paragraph 2:

Researchers of human emotion have been interested in self-doubt for many


years. A 1983 report from TI1awler and Gilbert surveyed plant workers-
who were rated as top performing by their employers- on how they felt they
performed in their jobs. The responses were varied and interesting. Several
How to WriteYour Literature Review 197
years later, Harvey carried out a similar study, this time focused on univer-
sity students who had just finished a major project and had not yet received
their grades (2005). Both studies found that people who are doing the best
in their group often fear that they are among the worst. Some plant workers
from the 1983 study feared that they could lose their jobs at any time, and so
they arrived on time and stayed focused on their tasks while at work, leading
to better overall performance. Similarly, some of the university students with
the highest grades on the project had such high standards for themselves that
even though they did much better than other students in the class, they wor-
ried that they had failed because they had not matched their own high stan-
dards. From these studies it appears that self-doubt can be a great motivator
to achievement, but self-doubt also provides a false picture of where someone
is in relation to others. In the past, researchers focused on the responses of
those who were performing within the top percentages of their groups. Further
research on self-doubt could focus on those who perform at a mid-range or
lower to begin to determine the effects of self-doubt on individuals with lower
performance scores, and even to discover whether self-doubt is a cause of poor
performance.

All inrerprerations of rhe sources must be grounded in the research itsel£


Your personal opinion has no place in a literature review.

Con clu sion


The last part of your literature review is the conclusion. The conclusion
provides a summary of the main ideas from the body.
Begin by restating your thesis (in different words). By this point in the
literature review, rhe answer ro your research should feel natural because of all
rhe research and findings you presented.
Then briefly review rhe main aspects of rhe lirerarure review. Remind rhe
reader of the most important information provided by your sources. Your liter-
ature review can end here if you like.
You can also conclude by looking to rhe furure. You mighr discuss areas of
rhe subject rhar have yer robe folly researched or point our common limirarions
in pasr studies. This kind of conclusion is especially appropriate if a subject
lacks consensus from researchers in yom field.

Internal Citat ions


Citations, or written references ro your sources, are necessary for literature
reviews. The subject of your text is information gathered from other authors,
and you must acknowledge them when you describe their research.
198

You must cite your sources whenever you include a fact, idea, finding, or
opinion that's not your own. Whether rhe information is quoted, paraphrased,
or summarized, you must give credit to the author.
The best way to avoid accidentally caking credit for an idea that isn't yours
is to insert citations as you transfer your notes to your draft. Use page numbers
from your notes if they're required by your industry's style guide (APA, MLA,
Chicago and so on).
Many students are uncomfortable with citations; they worry about over-
and under-citing. However, readers won't judge your literature review by its
citations, unless you attempt to gain credit for work that is not your own. If you
write one paragraph that contains information from a dozen sources, the para-
graph should include a dozen internal citations. If you have several pages that
contain information from onlyone source, those pages should show one citation.
Internal citations should appear at the end of the portion of the discussion
based on a source. The portion may be a phrase, sentence, paragraph, or multi-
ple paragraphs.
There is no need to cite your own original thoughts, such as transitions,
synthesis, analysis, or evaluation of sources.

Footnotes
Some style guides require citations to be placed in footnotes, meaning
notes at the bottom of a page. However, footnotes can also be used ro include
ocher information chat doesn't properly belong in the main discussion. These
include technical definitions and explanations of unfamiliar terms. Footnotes
minimize interruption to the main text but do still interrupt, so they should be
kept to a minimum.

Bibli ograp hy
A bibliography is an alphabetized list-according co authors' last names-
of all the written sources you've consulted. A literature review of five thou-
sand words or more may include between twenty and thirty sources in its
bibliography.
The bibliography should include all sources used in your internal citations.
You may have also done background research chat didn't make it into the final
draft of your literature review. In that case, you may choose to include or omit
those sources from your bibliography, depending on how helpful you believe the
sources would be to your audience.
Format the sources according to the sryle guide used by your field.
St le 199
-=====--------------....;...r.i,i
111'H
Lireracure reviews use plain style. They focus on providing information
based on research findings. Literature reviews involve little persuasion, except to
convince readers to consider the synthesis, analysis, and evaluation you employ.
Your interpretations should be so firmly founded on your sources that you can
rely on a restatement of the facts to convince your audience.
The most important stylistic tool you can use in completing a lireracure
review is consistency. Be consistent with active or passive voice as we!! as present
or past tense through our your text.

Literature reviews use plain design . Defer to your company's design stan-
dards, if possible. If your company has no standard, fol!ow the style guide used
in your field.
Most sry!e guides recommend a serif font such as size-12 Times New
Roman, one-inch margins, and half-inch indents at the beginning of each
paragraph. Since literature reviews ofren include headings and subheadings,
differentiate the headings from the body text in some way. For example, you
might create a heading using a different alignment, font, or font size to signal
the beginning of a new section or subsection.

IC.1JMllll~1LIU
Literature reviews al!ow you to survey and critique the research done on
a topic in your technical field. They always include internal citations and a
bibliography so readers can look up the original sntdies if they want to know
more. By creating and reading these documents, you can stay on top of industry
trends and have a firm base for any innovations in your own company. Litera-
ture reviews are crucial for co!!aboration within fields. They also help technical
workers avoid repeating work that has already been done. By !earning how to
read and write literature reviews, you can become an asset not only to your
future employers, bur also to the development of your technical field.

Students can write a literature review alone or as part of a ream. This can
be a stand-alone project or as part of a larger semester project.
- - -ORAL P-RESENTATIONS

T im Urban, a self-confessed "wrirer-blogger guy;' admitted he didn't like to


speak in front of an audience. Yer, when TED (Technology, Entertainment,
and Design) Talks invited Urban to give a speech at their annual conference in
Canada, he felt inclined to accept. Overwhelmed by the task, Urban avoided
thinking of rhe speech for as long as possible. When TED emailed ten weeks
before rhe talk, probing him for his presentation topic, he realized he was in
trouble. Urban replied with a laugh,"(My topic is] procrastination. Afrer all, it's
what I do besr:·
One month before his presenta-
tion, TED flew Urban to their head- P.r.esentations
quarre rs to hear his half-finished
• Introduction
first drafr. Ir was a total disaster, and
Urban began to realize his predica-
• Body
ment. Later that night, while attend- • Conclusion
ing a dinner populated by TED
speakers, Urban's insecurities inten-
sified. His fellow speakers were billionaires, award-winning social activists, and
game-changing scientists. Urban realized he was well our of his league. As kind
as his peers were, Urban was disheartened by his lack of skill and preparation.
He worked even less on his talk-sirring on his hands for rhar final month, glar-
ing at his half-baked speech. When the week of rhe conference arrived, Urban
flew to TED's Vancouver center, a place he described as "a lirrle luxury playland
where super fancy people come to relax and watch 70 intensely stressed-our, less
fancy people get on stage, one by one, and say something interesting:•

201
202 CHAPTER ORAL PRESENTATIONS

Though overwhelmed by rehearsals and the spreading panic of his fellow


speakers, Urban made rime to retire to his room and plunk our the last few
minutes of his speech. While in his room, a light bulb suddenly turned on in his
mind. Urban's audience, full of millionaires and celebrities, were humans just
like him. As dazzling as they were, they were imperfect and often procrastina-
tors themselves. Urban stayed up all night memorizing his talk. The next day,
he stepped onto the TED stage more relaxed and comfortable than he thought
he should be, though his talk was "barely memorized:' He addressed the mil-
lionaires and celebrities before him as friends, spoke to their needs, and tailored
his examples to their own experiences with procrastination. He called them all
procrastinators and offered hope and salvation. When he finished and shuffled
off the stage, Urban was graced with a standing ovation. To this day, Urban's
TEDTa[k, ironically titled "Inside the mind of a master procrastinator;• is one
of the most popular presentations ever given at TED.

There are quire a few lessons we might rake from Urban's TED Talk expe-
rience, bur perhaps the most salient for this chapter is Urban's process of dis-
covery. Ar the beginning Urban knew his subject, bur he needed to understand
something before he developed his idea. He needed to understand his audience
and-importantly-how to adapt his presentation to fir their concerns with his
topic. The most common mistake presenters make is forgetting their audience.
So, why do people give oral presentations to an audience? Presenters do so
for all kinds of reasons: someone needs to !earn, understand, or be persuaded,
and a presentation covers large amounts of information in a short amount of
rime. Rather than dishing out information on a one-by-one basis, a whole office
can meet together and hear the information at the same rime. Ir is also a way
to give updates on the progress you're making for a current project or a way to
pitch ideas and get people excited. Oral presentations, when done right, create
countless opportunities to convey critical information in a timely fashion.
There are two main presentation types, and it's important to understand
them before we move on to developing an effective presentation sryle. First is
rhe informal presentation. What does informal mean? Most reams need to pres-
ent weekly or monthly reports, and often chose reports happen in a meeting
where ream leaders stand and give a short presentation to other ream leads. The
informal presentation becomes a way to communicate progress on a particu-
lar project. You may have some experience giving these types of presentations,
bur be warned that supervisors can easily spot ineffective communicators when
they compare your presentation to others. The managerial supervisor will be
raking notes on your ability or inability to present information efficiently, and
those notes could impact your ability to succeed in a particular company. Other
Understand, Explore,Materialize 20 3
informal presentations include pitching ideas co your supervisor, at informal
meetings, or over phone calls with potential clients.
On the formal side, presentations are a bit more, well, formal. They include
corporate speeches, workshops, trainings, briefings, demonstrations, and panel
discussions. Speakers rely heavily on slides and notes when giving rhe presenta-
tion and often use a desk or podium when addressing rhe audience. While both
formal and informal presentations are performed in front of a range of different
audiences in rhe corporate world-clients, colleagues, managers, and more-
formal presentations will often carry more weight and leave a greater impact
on rhe organization. Thar responsibility means these presentations will require
more time and attention than informal presentations. You'll wane to set aside
enough time co properly prepare for your presentation-unlike Tim Urban.
Whether they're casked with giving a formal or informal presentation, what
do effective presenters do? First, they remember that they are speaking co peo-
ple. They make eye contact and aren't afraid co smile. As they present they refer
co their visuals or slides, bur give most of their attention to rhe people sirring in
rhe audience. They may walk around and work the room, bur they don't turn
ir into a frantic pace. These presenters vary their vocal pitch as well as volume
and pace. Certain things you'll want to emphasize more than others, so let char
come our in your speaking. If it's appropriate for rhe rype of presentation you're
giving, don't be afraid co ask questions and gee rhe audience involved. If you
bring up new terms, be sure to introduce and define rhem so your audience can
keep up with your arguments and general train of thought.
What do ineffective presenters do? Mostly, ineffective presenters forger
there are people in rhe audience. These kinds of presenters turn their back on
rhe audience and read from their slides. When they eventually do make eye
contact, they might scare at one individual for coo long. Their monotonous voice
creates no emphasis and puts everyone co sleep. They slouch. When someone
raises his or her hand with a question, these presenters ignore chem or don't
listen carefully co the question and fail co appropriately respond. In shore, every-
one in that room wanes co gee our as fas r as possible.

In order to be rhe effective presenter, lee's talk about seeps co improve your
presentation style.
First, you need co know how co prepare for your presentation. This seep is
probably the most important. You need to figure our what rhe audience should
know, do, or believe. In a sense, chis seep is more important than step rwo, fig-
uring our what you wane to say, because your message needs a purpose before
substance. Your purpose statement should be shore and say something like:
204 CHAPTER ] __O_RA_L P
_RE_SE_NT
_ATIONS

"This presentation will inform my audience about the progress I and my


ream have made on (current project]'.'
Or maybe your presentation will pitch a new idea to the company-some-
thing you're hoping they will get excited about. (If this is the case, hopefully
you're already excited about it too.) Maybe giving a presentation is part of the
interview process, and what you want your audience to know is rhar you're the
ideal candidate for the position. In that case, your goal is for the people in the
room to get to know the real you and what you would add to the company.
The clearer the objective statement, the more likely the presentation will
resonate with your audience. Some presentations provide jargon-heavy derail to
a managerial ream, with little background on the project-managers hare when
presentations waste their rime in this way. Or a presenter might opr for a more
global overview of the project, a seemingly inclusive presentation rhar anyone
could follow; however, what's really needed in this scenario are specific derails so
the technical ream sirring in the audience might have a better sense of the prod-
uct they're developing or the solution the company needs to implement. Again,
the way to address this problem is a clear statement about what the presenter
hopes the audience will get from rhe presentation.
After you determine your precise objective, you'll want to work a little to
understand your audience. This step can be tricky. We don't always have access
to the people who will attend our presentations, and even if we did, the infor-
mation might be incomplete or unrelated to rhe objective. However- and this
is critical-some information is always better than no information. And the
process of asking these questions will help get you our of your limited perspec-
tive and into thinking about your audience and their needs. Start by asking rhe
role of each audience member. This practice is known as discovering your rhe-
torical audience. You try to find out who rhe decision-makers are-they're the
people you want to convince or inform with your presentation.
Then, ask why this person or group is attending the presentation in the
first place. What does this rhetorical audience already know and what might
rhey need to know to understand your message, thus helping you achieve your
goal:' What do they believe about you and your ream and how can rhar inform
your approach to the message:' In a sense, is their opinion of you going to help,
or get in the way of your message:'
Shorr presentations may just rely on your experiences on a project and only
require a pen and paper to jot down what you know about rime lines and deliv-
erables. Bur with larger formal presentations, you'll probably need to research
information, compile reports, go over sales figures, and generally garher more
dara to include. Bur gathering dara and facts is only the srarr. Once dara is col-
lected, you may need to create charts and figures-visual displays of the data
or information. This process requires some discrimination. You must decide
what content to include and what to exclude from the presentation, again being
Understand, Explore,Materialize 205
directed by your presentation statement. (You can see why that earlier work was
so critical to your success during this stage of the process.)
The audience won't listen to the wihole thing; they just won't. Think back
to the last presentation you sat through and ask yourself what you remember
most. You can probably remember one to rwo main points that you walked away
with-maybe a phrase or rwo that was catchy and stuck with you. Remember-
ing when you were an audience member will help you have greater empathy
with your audience. So, what do you want _your audience to remember:' When
you last watched a presentation, how did the presenter connect with you-or
maybe not connect with you:' Think about the peers and supervisors in your
group; what do you know about them:' This knowledge does not mean you ref-
erence embarrassing stories about them in your presentation. What's important
to them:' With oral presentations, you usually have a better idea of who exactly
you're talking to. In small groups, you can gauge their reactions. In technical
terms, there are four different audience types:

Primary readers: action-takers who will use information from your pre-
sentation to make a decision. This group is the one you'll start with when
working to understand your audience and how to best communicate and
connect with them. What do they already know about you and you about
them:'

Secondary readers: advisors who give advice ro those who make decisions
(the primary audience). They can be experts in the field or just have trusted
opinions about the subject.

Tertiary readers: evaluators who have an interest in what you're saying bur
aren't involved in decisions. They might be journalists, lawyers, activists,
competitors, or concerned citizens.

Gatekeepers: supervisors who will see your presentation before you pres-
ent it to the intended audience. They check for accuracy and determine if
you folfill the purpose of the presentation and mission of the company.

Asking questions is the best way to get to know your audience: is your
topic a point of interest for your audience or do you have to start from scratch
and build interest:' What examples are you using that your audience could relate
to in some way:' Think of your presentarion as a way of building or furthering a
relationship with your audience.
You've already written a purpose statement as the first step in creating your
presentation. You should know what you want to achieve: training, informing,
or another reason. If there is more than one sentence explaining the purpose
of your presentation, it's probably too long. Remember to ask those critical
questions as you review and revise your purpose statement: what do I want my
206 CHAPTER J__O_RA_LP_RE_SE_NT_ATIONS
audience to think or feel after my presentation? Why am I giving this presenta-
tion? What is rhe single most important thing I'll say and repeat?
Slides, flip charts, whiteboards, podiums-technology of some kind gener-
ally makes an appearance when we talk about rhe presentation product. What-
ever technology you decide ro use with rhe presentation, make sure rhar you've
practiced with rhose visuals. A !or. You may think everything will fall into place
once you get up there, bur if you haven't practiced and know your visuals as well
as rhe words you're saying, rhen it could turn disastrous fasr. Know your space.
Know your visuals. Know how rhey all work together.

PREPARING FOR THE PRESENTATION


Practice.
As has already been said bur bears repeating, consider watching examples
of good presentations from people who exude confidence and figure our how
rhey keep rhe audience engaged. When you watch a presentation through rhe
eyes of a future presenter, rhe experience is different. Take notes and pay arren-
rion to their eye contact and how rhey ask questions rhar encourage people to
respond. Think about what they do thac you could realistically emulate in your
own presentation. Practice in front of rhe mirror and in front of others. You
may even want ro record yourself doing the presentation so you can watch it
later to see how an audience member would view you and you presentation.
Whatever you have to do to practice, do ir, as it will ease your nerves more than
anything else.
Speaking of nerves, if you're one who gets nervous approaching your pre-
sentation, rhar's actually a positive sign. Clammy palms, increased heart rare,
shallow breathing. They mean you're normal, and feeling a bit of anxiety lead-
ing up to big day means rhar you'll approach the presentation with humility.
Ir means rhar you care about this; you want it to go well. Don't be afraid to
practice deep, slow breaths. The more prepared you are, the better ir will go.
Presenters have been known to nearly pass our in rhe middle of a presentation,
so if you know this is something you're inclined ro do, have a chair handy.
And along wirh practice, know your material extremely well. Do research
rhar branches our from your topic. Nor mo much-you want to spend rhe bulk
of your rime on rhe material you will acmally present on. Yer, rhe more familiar
you are with the topic you'll be speaking on, rhe better. If your topic is contro-
versial, then know both sides, regardless of which you present on. The thought
of questions will terrify you less if you've done your homework.
How toGiveYour Presentation 207
ALLOT YOUR TIME
Your audience is trapped when you give a presentation so you must be
mindful of their patience. You wi!! likely be given a specific amount of time. You
must use that time to say only necessary things central to your main point, and
never go over that time. It's also usua!!y helpful to plan time at the end for ques-
tions. The table below indicates suggested time a!!otments for presentations of
various lengths. Nore that long presentations don't necessarily have long intros
and conclusions. Keep intros and conclusions concise.

Suggested Time Allotm ems for Presentations


Length: 15 m ins 30 mins 45 m in s Hour
Intro I min 1-2 m ins 2 mins 2-3 mins
Topic I 2 mins 5 mins 8 mins 10 mins
Topic I 2 mins 5 mins 8 mins 10 mins
Topic I 2 mins 5 mins 8 mins 10 mins
Topic I 2 mins 5 mins 8 mins 10 mins
Con clusion I min 1-2 m ins 2 mins 2 mins
Q uestions 2 mins 5 mins 5 mins 10 mins

PRESENTATION ORGAN IZATION


Since time is so precious, partition your presentation into several main
points. Your presentation should be organized into an introduction, body, and
conclusion. Since your medium is the spoken word, you need to keep your lis-
teners interested and on track with your content by repeating what you have to
say. Basica!!y you'll re!! them what you're going to say, say it, and then remind
them what you said. That structure is the only way your listeners wi!l remember.
A!!ow for visuals rhar also repeat wh at you have said. They wil! increase the
chances that your audience will remember the various points you've touched
on. Visuals also add variety to your presentation that can keep your audience
focused. However, they can also be an unnecessary distraction-we wi!l discuss
this more in the section under "design:•
Always !eave extra time in case something happens during your ra!k or you
are interrupted. A couple minutes to buffer the unexpected is plenty of rime.
Usually you'll have more to say than rime to say it. The more you say, the more
your audience wi!! forger. Keep it simple and repeat often. Make hard decisions
about what information is the most important so they acrua!!y absorb it. When
practicing your presentation in front of other people, ask what they got out of
it. What do they think are the main points of your presentation:' What was the
most memorable part:'
ORAL PRESENTATIONS

Int ro du ct ion
Tell them what you're going to rel! them. Preferably in a short, catchy,
memorable way. Keep in mind that the introduction is the very beginning of
your entire presentation, and people in the audience will determine if your pre-
sentation is worth their undivided attention. The first few moments will set the
tone for the rest of your rime, so use them wisely. Do something memorable,
bur nor too crazy. As mentioned before, watch examples of great presentations
and see what they do to grab the audience and then launch into the body of
their presentation.
Here are some strategies for attention grabbers. Think about which
method would be most appropriate for rhe type of presentation you are giving:

• Rhetorical question
• Startling statistic
• Compelling statement
• Anecdote
• Quotation
• Quiz
• Survey
• Interesting analogy

Intros should have rhe following moves:

Deline the subject: Make sure audience clearly understands the subject of
the presentation. What is the purpose of your presentation? This purpose
should be obvious within the first one to rwo minutes.

Offer relevant background information: Provide a framework so the


audience understands what you're trying to say. This framework can be a
history of the subject or your personal relationship to it. You're offering
context to orient your audience on the subject and help them understand
the next point.

Stress the importance of the subject: Why does this topic matter? Your
audience wants to know why this subject is important to them, and why
they should care about it.

Reiterate the purpose: What are you trying to achieve with your presenta-
tion? This step is viral and should be clear in your introduction.

Use an additional slide or other visual way to forecast the structure of the
rest of the presentation. Ir offers a different kind of context for your audience,
and they'll feel as rho ugh they know what to anticipate for the rest of your pre-
sentation. They know where you're raking them.
How to Give Your Presentation 209

Body
If a good presentation is like a train ride, then the body of your presenta-
tion is where the bulk of the traveling happens. Your audience are your passen-
gers, and your job is to make sure they sray awake and engaged for the ride.
The primary way to do rhar is to ensure your audience of your organiza-
tion. Ir is nor enough to be organized; you must also give your audience a sense
that you are in control of your presentation. The easiest way to insri!! comfort
is to verba!!y connect each point of the body back to the purpose. By using dear
transitions, your audience wi!! fee[ you have control over your topic. Similar to
how a train conductor announces a destination during intervals of a journey, it
is wise to verbally remind your audience that each point of the body ties back to
your purpose as you transition from one section to another.
Of course, when discussing an organized presentation, the fo!!owing ques-
tion arises: What is the best way to organize your presentation? Ir depends on
your purpose. Where is the train headed? Depending on your information and
purpose in sharing it, you may organize it in a variety of ways. According to the
experts, there are five ways to outline a presentation:

1. How a topic is arranged in space (spatial design)

Example: Begin a presentation about a roaster by explaining rhe physical


construction of a roaster, beginning with the outside plastic
shell and moving inward to rhe mechanics.
2. How a topic occurs in rime (sequential design)

Example: Begin a presentation on roasters by outlining the history of


roasters (the first being invented in Scotland in 1893) and
continuing unri[ you reach present day.
3. How a topic narura!!y divides into subcategories ( categorical design)

Example: Explain the different kinds of roasters by rype, including


pop-up toasters, conveyor toasters, and roaster ovens.
4 . How a topic stands against a contrasting topic with which the audience is
familiar (comparative design)

Example: If your audience is familiar with bonfires, discuss the effi-


ciency of cooking a piece of bread in a roaster in comparison
to attempting to do so over an open flame.
5. How a topic can cause something else to happen (causation design)

Example: If trying to convince your audience that roasters are evil, try
structuring your presentation around how roasters wi!! even-
nia!!y lead to a digital Armageddon.
It is important to stay as dose to your purpose as possible. Any unneces-
sary distractions or tangents not connected with your purpose wi!! cause your
210 CHAPTER ] _ _O_RA_LP
_RE_SE_NT
_ATIONS

proverbial train to veer off rhe rails and endanger rhe concentration of your
passengers. By focusing your points on rhe purpose, you sray on track and will
more likely retain rhe audience's focus throughout your presentation. The less
complicated you lay our your purpose, the better, as rhe likelihood of your audi-
ence remembering your points will be much higher.
One final note on constructing a snong Body: Building an engaging pre-
sentation is key to a successfol one as it will ensure rhar you retain your audi-
ence's attention. A train with blacked- our windows puts people ro sleep like
a lifeless presentation drains your audience. To be engaging, use illustrations
and personal stories. Doing so will humanize your topic, bur raking rime to
speak about yourself or everyday problems will not fascinate your audience.
You do nor have to be a professional comedian to be engaging-in fact, cracking
too many jokes is strongly discouraged, as ir will pull your audience away from
rhe purpose and instead focus on you. If you use humor, do so sparingly and
always in good rasre, making sure to avoid potentially offensive jokes. In total,
you should never sacrifice focus on your thesis for rhe sake of entertainment.
You are there to share a message, bur an occasional joke or story might bring a
smile to an audience member's face and arrest their interest.

Conclusion
When you exhaust your points and your presentation draws to a close, iris
important to end on a high note. The conclusion of your presentation should be
just as strong as rhe introduction, gently guiding your audience to integrate your
topic into their lives. Using keywords, such as "ro conclude" and "in summary;•
will rip off your audience rhar rhe presentation is coming to a close, allowing
rhem to brace themselves for a strong ending.
Returning to rhe train analogy, one of rhe most important jobs of a
train conductor is to stare rhe desrinarion-orherwise known as your thesis.
Announcing the purpose will remind your audience of the purpose of your pre-
sentation and prepare them to remember it. However, there are other points
rhar will ensure your audience will feel satisfied wirh your conclusion. There are
four points that contribute to a strong conclusion:

1. Summarize purpose and main points.


2. Reiterate rhe importance of your purpose.
3. Motivate rhe audience to act based off your purpose.
4. Finish with a sense of closure.

Your conclusion should be as long as your introduction, approximately ten


percent of your runtime. Make it poignant, and make a statement. These state-
ments will wrap up your ideas into a sense of closure, preparing your audience
to rake your message with rhem and apply it in their fumre endeavors.
Desi n 2 1I

You may think that technology is the answer to an effective presentation,


but that is not always the case. When slides are poor quality, grainy, or too clut-
tered, then technology has the opposite effect of engaging your audience. And
that goes for all visuals that you use in your presentation. Keep it simple and
don't be afraid to shelve the bells and whistles so you can engage your audi-
ence-just you and them. It doesn't mean that you can't have visuals, but don't
use them as a crutch.
Here's an example.
An engineer was giving a presentation in front of co-workers and the pres-
ident of the company. He was proposing various solutions by using a Power-
Point presentation with fancy transitions and a colorful display format. When
he got to the slide with the three possible solutions, the last item on the list was
do nothing. The next slide was blank to illustrate his point even more. He shut
off the screen and fully turned to his audience and engaged them on this final
solution of doing nothing and why it was the best for the company as a whole.
The final part of his presentation so drastically differed from the first that it
proved his point even further. He talked to the people in the room; he held no
notes or papers-pure engagement. And what did the company finally decide
to change:' Nothing.
Of course, this situation is just one example of a successful presentation
that used a certain technique, and that technique may not work for you, so
we will look at some of the options that you can choose from when selecting
the best methods and modes to convey your point and emphasize what's most
important. Above all, you want to use what's best for the space and time pro-
vided and select a form of visual presentation that best illustrates your points.
When using visual aids, there are some key principles to keep in mind.
You'll want to keep a balance between roo much and too little. If you have too
many visuals in your presentation, it can be distracting and hard to follow. Yet, if
you have too few, then you could be missing opporrunities to demonstrate your
point in stronger ways that could impact your audience more. Warning: avoid
the glib, student-centered comedy images that add little to your presentation
(e.g., memes, gifs). While these types of images might be fun to include, they
mark you as immature, unprofessional, and unimaginative.
On the acrual slides or visuals, make sure the font rype and size are legible
from rhe back of the room you're presenting in. Use a variety of slides: images,
graphs and charts, words, video clips, and so on. Only pur rhe information you
want to emphasize on rhe slides because rhar's where your audience's attention
is, so make ir worth their rime. Are you catching their attention ar the beginning
or reemphasizing a point:' Are rhe slides visual or points of summary toward
rhe end:'
2 12 CHAPTER ] __O_RA_L P
_RE_SE_NT
_ATIONS

Example 1:

Community Client
Prcscr\ce Services

Staff
Devel0pment

Example 2:

■ Client 2015 ■ Client


2014 Senices Ser\ices

■ M_arket ing ■ Marketi ng

■ Community ■ Communi ty
Presence Presence

■ S1.aff ■ sratT
~\-elopment De\-elopment

How is Example 2 different from H Which would you say is easier to


understand? In Example 2, elements are properly labeled and a key is offered
to describe viral information. These derails help the graph be clearer. When in
doubt, aim for clarity. Even evaluate the color choices of each graph. Remember
rhar when designing your own visuals, simple is best. There's no need to get
overly fancy and spend excessive amounts of rime on designwhen other things
(like preparing your overall presentation content) are more important.
Resources 21 3

A D IGITAL PROJECTOR WI TH A C OMPUTER


A digital projector with a computer is one of the most common ways co
present visuals in a presentation. It's easy co use and highly attractive. Mose of
the time, the technology is easy co access, but that doesn't mean the technology
will always work. Once, a presenter fra ntically tried co get the computer and
projector co work, but after a few minutes abandoned the technology and spoke
directly co her audience. Luckily, she was prepared and knew her material well
enough char she was able co express her various points and opinions. When
using chis kind of technology, you have co prepare for rhe worse. Another thing
co chink about- your audience's attention will be fixated on rhe slides when
they are up. Is chat always where you want their attention? If not, then cake
control and blank the screen. Find ways to divert their attention back to you and
what you are saying if rhe slide is not important in chat moment.
Some things co keep in mind when designing slides:
Make sure chat your audience can read rhe text against rhe background.
Slides chat can't be deciphered are distracting and discouraging for your
audience.
Slides chat are cluttered with coo many words can be just as bad as hav-
ing rexr char isn't readable. Ir can be exrremely frustrating and a lirrle daunting
when an audience is faced with char many words co read at once, especially in a
presentation. It's also distracting if you're crying co say something different or in
addition to all those words.
Along with not having too many words on your slides, also beware of hav-
ing coo much in general. Overly cluttered slides are also distracting and frustrat-
ing for people. They will waste rime crying co figure our what your slide means
rather than listening to you. Simplify instead.
One final point on slides- don't feel like you have to use one of the pre-
packaged templates. If none of chem seem co fie your purpose then design one
char works for you. Again, don't rake coo much time on chis (your oral presenta-
tion is nor an exam on InDesign), bur assess and see if something simpler would
work better.

O VERHEAD PPROJECTOR WITH T RANSPARENC IES


This technology may be seen as a bit old-school, but it may be what's avail-
able and is still an effective way co show graphs, images, or documents with rexr.
One of the advantages is char you can write and make notes or changes right
there with your audience. You can circle things you want to emphasize or cross
things off. Interaction and improvisation is much higher. Some of the disadvan-
tages are quality of rhe image projection, which is often blurry or nor as sharp as
2 14 CHAPTER Ll__O_RA_LP_RE_SE_NT_ATIONS
a slide show. Another disadvantage is that this kind of tech is becoming obsolete
as computers and projectors replace more and more of the tech in classroom
type spaces, conference rooms, and lecture spaces.

WHITEBOARD, CHALKBOARD, LARGE NOTEPAD


Whiteboards, chalkboards, and large notepads can be incredibly useful
when used right and with a fair amount of confidence.They a!!ow greater inter-
action with your audience. You can make lists, draw images on the spot. Your
listeners won't feel like they're dealing with just another canned presentation
bur wi!! feel like you are truly listening to them and valuing their opinions. This
technology also requires that you think on your feet and translate your and your
audience's comments into visuals on the board.

FLIP CHARTS
Flip charts can be great for sma!!er, more intimate groups where the audi-
ence is fairly dose to the presenter. Something to consider is char flip charts are
coo sma!! to be seen from the back of the room if you're dealing with a larger
space. This technique also requires more improvisation.

HANDOUTS
Handouts have a number of pros- they reinforce points made in the pre-
sentation or provide data chat won't be visible from the projector. They can
also be formatted to leave room for note raking. These things can add richly
to your presentation, but they are not without their downsides. Handoms can
be distracting and rake a long rime to pass around, causing the speaker to lose
momentum. The audience may end up reading the handout rather than listen-
ing to the presentation.
No matter what you decide to use, make sure chat you are comfortable
using it. If you are deeply self-conscious of your handwriting, you may nor wane
to write on the board at all. If the tech is available to use PowerPo inc slides, then
chat may be your best option. If it's a smaU room, then use flip charts. It's up to
you, bur know chat there are plenty of options to choose from, and whatever
it is, make sure chat the method dearly supports your main point/purpose for
giving the presentation.
Don't forger to get a sense of the physical layout of the room and presenta-
tion technology (like a podium, cable, microphone, projector, computer, white-
boards, and so on). Make sure you rest and retest everything. The size of the
room and the number of people may affect the visuals you decide to use and
your presentation style.
Suggested Exercises 21 5
Presenting can be scary, bur it can also be a blast. Breathe. Practice. Practice
some more, then go in there and be you.

Students can make a presentation on their literature review topic, or on


any other topic used in an assignment during the class, or a new topic. They can
present in front of the class or create a voiceover to go with their presentations
that they then submit to the reacher.
Students can watch a TED talk of their choice and analyze it for the strat-
egies derailed in this chapter. They can share their findings with class members
or submit them to the reacher.

111.lllJ~llli
Quotes taken from T im Urban's personal blog and TEDTalk:
Personal Blog:
Urban, Tim. "Doing a TEDTalk: Th e FuH Story:' Wait but Why?, 2 March, 2016.
hrrps: / / wai rburwhy.com /20 16/03 / doing-a-red-ralk-rhe-full -srory.hrml.
Accessed 30 September 2017.
TEDTalk: "Inside the mind of a master procrastinator": Urban, Tim. "Inside the
mind of a master procrastinator:' TEDTalks, February 2016. hrrps: //www.
red.com/ talks/ rim_ urban_ i nside_ t he_ mind_ of_a_ master_ procrastinator/
transcript#t-23398. Accessed 30 Septemebr 2017.
Collins,John. Perfect Presentations. AMACOM, New York, 1998. Print.
Bailey, Edward P. A Practical Guide for Business Speaking. Oxford University Press,
New York, 1992. Print.
"Delivering Presentations." Bloomsbury Business Library - Action-
lists & C h ecklists, Jan. 2007, p. 99. EBSCOhost, lib.byu.edu/ remo-
t eaurh / ?url = h r tp: //sear ch .ebscoh os t.com.erl.lib.byu .edu / log in.
aspx ?direct= true&db = 69 h&AN =26758 925&site=eds-live&scope =sire.
"Using Visual Aids:' University of Leicester. http://www2.le.ac.uk/ offices/Id/
resources/ presen rations/ visual-aids
"Visual Aids- an Overview:' http://www3.nru.edu.sg/home/cfcavallaro/reporrs/
use%20of%20visuals/visualaids.htm ( the graphs came from this site)
"Your Audience'.' hrrps:/ / resource.acu.edu.au/ orals/ audience.hem
"Oral Presentation and Powerpoinr:' ACU National. hrrps:/ / www.e-educarion.ps u.
edu/sryleforstudents/ c7_ p4.hrml
"Presentation Tips Reminder'.' In SlideShare. Linkedin Corporation. August 2014.
hrrps://www.slideshare.net/vijayois/presentarion-rips-ro-remember
2 16 CHAPTER ] _ _O_RA_LP
_RE_SE_NT
_ATIONS

"Good Vs Bad Powerpoinc." In Slideshare. Linkedin Corporation. May 2014.


https:/ /www.slideshare.net/selinabe rnard91/good-vs-bad-powerpoinc
W harton, Robin. "Category Archives: PowerPoinc Communication and
Design:' Technical Communication 2014. GSU. http://sites.gsu.edu/ tech-
comm-fall-2014 /category/blog-project-prompts/ powerpoi nt-and-comm uni-
cation-design/ (the girls in red slide)
Nah, Wenbin. "10 Attention Grabbers for Better Public Speaking:• Better Inter-
personal Communication. June 2008. http:/ I communicatebetter.blogspot.
com/2008/ 06/10-attention-grabbe rs-for-better-public.html.
Rothwell, Edward J., and Michael J. Cloud. Engineering Speaking by Design:
Delivering Technical Presentations with Real Impact, CRC Press, 2015. Pro-
Quest Ebook Central, https:/ / ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/byu/ detail.
action ?docID = 40030 90.
https://www.google.com/ search ?q = public+ speak ing+osborn + and +os-
born&spell= l &sa= X&ved =0ah UKEwj65 5C KzNjWAh UExG MKHViF-
D0EQBQglKAA&biw = 1600&bih= 779
https:// www.google.com/ search ?q = bee be +and+ beebe+ public +speaking+ hand-
book +pdf&oq=beebe +and +beebe+ &aqs =chrome.0.0j69i57j014.5755j0j7&-
sourceid = chrome&ie= UTF-85.
APP-ENl}IXA: P-lJNGlUATION GUIDE

A udiences in technical writing need information quickly and accurately.


Information should be clear, direct, and concise. For any of chis to be
accomplished, you must have a conscious knowledge of language structure and
conventions-and one of rhekey components of that knowledge is grammar
and punctuation.
This guide is provided to expand your knowledge of punctuation, its
correct (as well as incorrect) usage, and its stylistic benefits. You're provided
a definition and exploration of each piece of punctuation, and then incorrect
and correct examples, with an explanation of the errors and some alrernare
solutions.
William Strunk, author of Elements of Sty le, wrote, "A sentence should
contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the
same reason chat a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine
no unnecessary pares:• Part of that efficiency and effectiveness is punctuation.
Punctuation is an essential cool in your writer's toolbox, and you must have a
working knowledge of it in order to use it effectively and to grow your commu-
nication skills.
In using punctuation, there are many stylistic options available to you,
which you can consider and appropriately apply to your rhetorical situation and
audience.

2 17
2 18 APPENDIXA: PUNCTUATION GUIDE

O ne of the most versatile pieces of punctuation is the


comma. Too often, we think of commas simply in terms
of right and wrong-correct and incorrect. Commas cer-
tainly do have rules: they can be used in sentences to indicate
a pause (and thus emphasis), to separate items within a list,
and to mark the place of a thousand in numerals, among other foncrions. They
shouldn't connect two independent thoughts without some kind of conjunc-
tion, bur more on that later.
However, commas are by nature srylisric. They change rhe flow, rhe sound
of how a sentence, an idea, is read and perceived. You can create a pause, mix
up pacing, extend a train of thought, or otherwise creatively alter the way your
readers interact with a piece of writing. Removing commas can create feelings
of resdessness and speed up a sentence. None of these are about correcmess-
chey're about style and how you, che writer, can control more thanjusc word
choice.
To accomplish more with commas-and other punctuation-the rules and
conventions are still important to understand. The following are some common
errors (like comma splices) and unintentional mistakes people make that you
should consider as you write, in technical spheres and elsewhere.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Comma Splice: A comma splice connects two independent clauses or cwo
distinct ideas as one sentence without some kind of conjunction (for, and, nor,
hut, or,yet, or so, fur example). This is one of the most common errors in writing.
Incorrect Example: I'm going to the store, I'll he ri.fht hack.
Fix: I'm going to the store. I'll he ri.fht hack.

Alcernacively, you could insert a conjunction: I'm going to the store, hr,t I71
he ri.fht hack.
Another fix would be using a semicolon instead of a period between rhe
two independent clauses: I'm going to the store; I'll he ri.fht hack.
An em dash could also be used: I'm going to the store-I'll he ri.fht hack.

Unnecessary Comma: Inserting an unnecessary comma creates an entirely


different, unintended meaning. Be careful as you write to ensure char each
comma is necessary and conveys what you want- as in the following example,
where the comma actually changes the audience as well as the meaning.

Incorrect Example: Stop clr,hhing, hahy seals!


Fix: Stop cluhhing hahy seals!
Colon 219
--------------....iiiiiii
Missing Comma: Similar to an unnecessary comma, a missing comma
drastica!!y alters the meaning of a sentence away from the writer's intent-in
the example below, regretting love and apologizing. Be wary and proofread.
Incorrect Example: I'm sorry I love y ou.
Fix: I'm sorry, I love y or,.

Numerals: Typica!!y, when using large numbers (in the thousands and
beyond), you would include a comma to distinguish each group of three digits.
Incorrect Example: Pu!! out a $1000 at the bank.
Fix: Puff out a $1,000 at the bank.

Another possibility is spe!!ing out the numeral: Puff out a thousand dollars
at the bank. However, this might be dependent on what style is being employed,
as rules can differ between style guides like Chicago and APA or even an
in-house company style guide.

Oxford Comma: You knew this one had to be in here. Commas are placed
between items in lists, and for years there has been debate about whether one
was needed before the final conjunction in a list. The Oxford comma has been
historically used in certain styles like Chicago and MLA bur not in others like
AP and APA. However, in recent years: the Oxford comma has been added to
those latter styles as we!!. The genera! rule is if omitting the comma wi!! cause
confusion or misunderstanding, then use it.

Incorrect Example: I went to dinner with myp arents, the Pop e and Mother
Teresa.
Fix: I went to dinner with my parents, the Pope, and Mother Teresa.

IC.tll•l~

I n the book Punctuate It Right, the author refers to the colon


as the mark of expectation or addition (1). Ir's like a road
sign, an arrow pointing forward and signaling to read on for
relevant information.
Commonly speaking, colons are used to inform readers
that what fo!!ows the mark explains, develops, defines, or proves what came
before. In sentences, colons frequent!y precede a list of items, introduce a quote,
or set up an expansion or explanation of an idea. Colons are also used to sepa-
rate hours from minutes in time, chapter s from verses in scripture, and numbers
m ranos.
How colons are used-what emphasis they place, where they're located
in a sentence, and so on-are stylistica!!y up to you. They're a more flexible
220 APPENDIXA: PUNCTUATION GUIDE

punctuation mark than you might think, especially since they are typically
thought of as quire formal.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Unnecessary Colon: There is no need to include colons that interrupt rhe
flow of lists that are established in the sentence, and colons should almost never
have an incomplete sentence preceding them. If you aren't sure whether a colon
is needed, rry removing it from the sentence and see if it is still correct without
It.

Incorrect Example: lhey specialize in: art, !angua_fes, and desip.


Fix: lhey specialize in art, lan_fUa_fes, and desi,fn.

U nrelated Colon: Whenever a colon is used to connect two indepen-


dent sentences, those sentences must be connected in some way- similar to a
semicolon (see the next entry). Otherwise, readers are left perplexed, trying to
discern the connection between ideas, which is something that as a writer you
never want to happen.
Incorrect Example: I have little time to complete myJina!prqject: I want ice
cream.
Fix: I have !itt!.e time to co,npf.ete ,nyJina!pro/ect: ,ny 6a6y is due in a week.

Capitalization: As mentioned in the previous colon error, colons function


like semicolons when connecting two independent clauses. In such cases, don't
capitalize the first word after the colon unless it's normally capitalized.

Incorrect Example: Snowfall continues to pound down: Consequently, trqjfic


has slowed to a crawl
Fix: Snowfa!! continues to pound down: consequently, trqjfic has slowed to a
crawl

If two or more sentences follow the colon, you do capitalize the first word
in the chain: He made three points: First, it'd take too long. Second, the price even
with the coupon woufdn the worth the trip. lhird, he strl! had to do the laundry.

T he semicolon is ofren confused with and used inter-


changeably with rhe colon. This is understandable,
as they often accomplish similar functions, such as linking
clauses and showing connection. However, a colon is like
an arrow pointing forward and a semicolon is more like an
H hen 221
equals sign, suggesting rhar what is joined by rhe mark is interdependent-
needing one another for complete meaning- and relatively the same in terms
of length and structure.
Semicolons are used at the end of sentences to show a pause, typically
between rwo independent clauses, that is more pronounced than a comma and
signifies rhar rhe clauses are connected. Semicolons can also be used in a list
rhar contains internal commas. Use a semicolon when you want to create and
emphasize a relationship between two or more sentences and concepts.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Unrelated Semicolon: As was mentioned earlier with colons, when con-
necting two independent clauses they have to be linked; otherwise, audiences
will be left confused and be pulled our of the flow of the writing. The connec-
tion between the two ideas must be clear so rhe use of a semicolon is justified.

Incorrect Example: I hope to go home this summer; the sky is so blue today.
Fix: I hope to go home this summer; its way too hot here.
Transitional: Semicolons are also used between two independent clauses
when those clauses are linked by a transitional expression such as however,far
example, thus, and so on.

Incorrect Example: Varying opinions suggest this is not the case, however,
experts disagree.
Fix: Varying opinions suggest this is not the case; however, experts disagree.

Super-comma: Commas are usually the puncmarion mark used in a list to


divide up its contents; however, sometimes semicolons can perform rhar func-
tion for lists within lists. This use of semicolons is known as a super-comma. Ir
makes clear where the divides are.

Incorrect Example: The new store has groceries, hot,seware, and electronics on
thefirstfloor, clothing on the second, and hooks, music, andfaod
on the third.
Fix: The new store has groceries, houseware, and electronics on thefirstfloor;
clothing on the second,· and hooks, music, andfaod on the third.

T he question of when to use a hyphen is common among


writers, whether new or experienced. Dictionaries and
sryle guides vary on correct usage; however, rhe silver lining is
222 APPENDIXA: PUNCTUATION GUIDE

char, outside of some core principles and conventions, decisions can come down
co stylistic choice, which expands your creative freedom as a writer.
Hyphens are used co join adjectival words and thus indicate char they have
a combined new meaning or char they are linked, co divide a word onto rwo
lines in a document, and to suggest a continuing or implied idea in a sentence.
With hyphens, you literally have rhe power co create new words and link ideas
in ways char a reader might never have read or considered before.
Mistakes rend co crop up when adverbs ( or words functioning as such)
are hyphenated or when hyphens are used coo frequenrly- as with any writing
cool, oversarurarion will limit its power.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


H yphen Placement: Whenever a compound adjective begins with an
adverb that ends in ",ly;• a hyphen is unnecessary. Also, only include hyphens
when rhe hyphenated word comes before the noun it's modifying.
Incorrect Example: She was a smartly-dressed woman in a style that was
always t1p-to-date.
Fix: She was a smartly dressed woman in a style that was always t1p to date.

An alternative fix for the above example that uses hyphens: She was a we!!-
dressed woman, always wearing an t1p,to,date style.

H yphen List: You may include hyphens in a running list so long as the
words being hyphenated are connected to the same noun. This helps prevent
misreading. as readers might not pick up on the relationship as easily without
rhe hyphens.
Incorrect Example: Ihe condo has two, three, andfat1r-6edroom options avatl-
a6le.
Fix: Ihe condo has two, three-, and.for1r-6edroom options avai!a6/e.

Hyphenation: Whether a word uses a hyphen depends on rhe sryle guide


being used or, more likely, the dictionary being employed. Ihe Chicago Mant1al
ifStyle includes a table char can be referenced for general use and rules. Check
against your style guide and use dictionaries like Merriam-Webster when
unsure.
Incorrect Example: Mr. Peterson waspromoted to chief-qfstqjf which was an
eye opener.
Fix: Mr. Peterson was promoted to chiefefstqjf which was an eye-opener.
Em Dash 223

Y ou might be more familiar with em dashes as a couple


of hyphens clustered together, as chat's historically how
they've been signified. Some computer programs will even
create the dash from char setup. (For your reference, there are
keyboard shortcuts co create em dashes: for a Mac ir's "shift;'+
"option;•+ minus, while for a PC it's "conrrol;"'alc;' and the minus button.)
Em dashes are used to indicate breaks in rhoughc, co create a parenthetical
statement within a sentence, and in the place of various punctuation marks;
depending on the context, these dashes can rake rhe place of commas, parenthe-
ses, or colons, each with a different effect.
Of the three dash marks ( the ocher two being hyphen and en dash), chis
is rhe longest and rhe most versatile, with more options and creative license
available to you.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Spaces: While some businesses still include spaces around dashes (like
newspapers), generally it's reasonable assume char spaces are nor employed in
most styles.
Incorrect Example: Most places - !f they're up to speed - will not have
spaces aror,nd dashes.
Fix: Mostplaces-!fthe_yre up to speed-will not have spaces around dashes.

Multiple Dashes: It's best to play it safe and only use two dashes in a given
sentence to avoid confusion, for yourself and your readers. It also makes rhe
sentence and ideas drag on for coo long.
Incorrect Example: 1he court reached a verdict-guilty-which was unex-
pected-the accused had one q/the best lawyers in the country.
Fix: 1he court reached a verdict-gmlt_y; this was unexpected, as the accused
had one efthe best lawyers in the cormtry.

Another possible fix: 1he court reached a verdict q/gutlty, which was rmex-
pected-the accused had one q/the best lawyers in the country.
There are many possible ways to change the sentence to make it correct,
and each could have a slightly different emphasis and fl.ow.

Other Punctuation: If rhe parenthetical statement within rhe em dashes


were instead surrounded by parentheses, then there would be a comma after
the concluding parenthesis. With em dashes, however, extra p uncmation is not
needed.
224 APPENDIXA: PUNCTUATION GUIDE

Incorrect Example: Once she discovered the proh!em- it was a big one- , she
began to panic.
Fix: Once she discovered the proh!em-it was a big one-she began to panic.

C ompleting our exploration of dashes is rhe en dash,


which is used with spans or ranges of numbers, dares,
directions, and rimes. As with hyphens and em dashes, there
should be no spaces around rhe puncmarion mark. (And as
with rhe em dash, there are specific keyboard shortcuts for
making an en dash: for a Mac it's "option"+ minus, while for a PC it's "control"
and the minus button.)
Here's a professional rip for you: never use rwo or three or however many
hyphens in place of en or em dashes. This is an incorrect practice carried over
from rypewrirers days, when hyphens were rhe only available option on key-
boards. To do chis nowadays is seen as unprofessional and dared, which is never
a good way for your writing co be perceived.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Hyphen versus En Dash: En dashes are used with number ranges such as
dares, nor hyphens.

Incorrect Example: lhe 2007-08 seasons was the tea,ns best.


Fix: lhe 2007-08 season was the teams best.

Spelled Out: If you introduce a span of numbers with words like from and
between, don't use an en dash. Rather, u se to or and, respectively.
Incorrect Example: lhe Civil T¥t1r occurred between 1861-6S.
Fix: lhe Civt! T#tr occurred between 1861 and 186S.

Compound Adjectives: Mose compound adjectives will simply use a


hyphen co show rhe connected narure of the words. However, when an element
of that compound adjective is unconnected (in the example below,"Newbury" is
not connected to "Award"), change rhe hyphen co an en dash.

Incorrect Example: She is a Newbury Award-winning author.


Fix: She is a Newbury Award-winning author.

Direction and Conff.ict: En dashes are used instead of hyphens between


words that indicate direction or conflict.
Apostrophe 225
Incorrect Example: lhe Libertarian-Democrat debate will be takingplace in
the budding next to the north-south railway.
Fix: lhe Libertarian-Democrat debate wt!/ be takingplace in the building next
to the north-south railway.

T he apostrophe is used grammatically co indicate posses-


sion, the omission of letters or numbers, and plurals for
individual letters.
Apostrophes are usually associated with contractions,
which are steadily becoming more accepted in various forms
of writing, bm there are less common applications and more common mistakes,
particularly wirh unexpected possessives and personal pronouns.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Contractions: Contractions are a shortening of words by combination, sig-
naled by an apostrophe. You can always tell if one is needed in your sentence by
spelling the potential contraction om.
Incorrect Example: Its looking like he d1dnt do his homework.
Fix: Its looking like he d,dn 't do his homework.

Put into practice what was mentioned above abom spelling contractions
om: It is looking like he did not do his ho,nework. If the apostrophe were not
included, it woLLld be possessive of!ooking, which makes no sense.

Plurals with Single Letters: This u se of the apostrophe clarifies that a p lu-
ral is being used for singular letters. In essentially all other cases you would not
use an apostrophe for plmals, included years (1980s).

Incorrect Example: Mind_your ps and qs. Its a phrase that originated in the
mid-1800s.
Fix: Mind_yor,rps and qs. Its a phrase that originated in the ,md-1800s.

Confusing Possessives: Possessives are generally formed with an apostro-


phe and ans-even with x's and z's and plural nouns. Also, apostrophes shOLLld
never be separated from their attached word by punctuation.
Incorrect Example: Mr. Draxs' kids have left lots o.ftheircht!drens' toys at the
Greens.'
Fix: Mr. Drax's ktds have lift lots o.ftheir cht!drens toys at the Greens:
226 APPENDIXA: PUNCTUATION GUIDE

l111ItJr.:.11[1J~IU.:.1~t~

W hen pulling directly from someone else's work and


words, be it a song title or its lyrics or an excerpt from
a scholarly article, you'll signal that the words are not your
own with quotation marks. These are used most commonly
to start and complete a quote, title, or segment of dialogue.
However, quotation marks can also highlight and emphasize certain
terms to readers, often in an ironic sense. This usage is called scare quotes. If
employed, the writer must be clear on what feeling and intention-hence why
such quotes are recurrently preceded by the phrase so-called.
Another professional rip is to ensure that you use smart or "curly" quota-
tion marks rather than "straight"-the former is more modern and should be
the default for, at the very least, any kind of published work.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Quotes Inside Quotes: When quoted material includes quotations within
itself, use single quotation marks inside rhe double ones.

Incorrect Example: "Ulhen he talks about "the meaningojl!ft," he does so quite


ironically."
Fix: "Ulhen he talks about 'the meaning ojl!ft,' he does so quite ironically."

Adjacent Punctuation: Unless puncmation is part of an original quota-


tion, everything except for commas and periods should be placed outside of
quotation marks. Otherwise, it seems like the puncmation is a part of the quo-
tation, which often is not the case.
Incorrect Example: His recent article is titled 'Misery Loves Everyone's Com-
pany;" it <!ifers a solution to what the author calls "involuntary
social isolation'.'
Fix: His recent article is titled 'Misery Loves Everyone's Company':· it qffers
a solution to what the author calls "involuntary social isolation."

Song Title: Song titles should be placed within quotation marks-albums


should be in italics ( though if the entire sentence is in italics, like the below
example, then the album wouldn't be in italics to differentiate it from the other
text).

Incorrect Example: I love the song The Only One Ulho Gets Mejrom Charles
Kelley's album, "The Driver."
Fix: I love the song "The Only One Ulho Gets Me"jrom Charles Kelley's
album, The Driver.
Asterisk 227

N o doubt you've read an advertisement that made a bold,


enticing claim but then had a litcle star at the end of
it. Then, in noticeably smaller text, there's an annotation,
amending or clarifying the claim- or maybe it doesn't even
refer you to anything. Asterisks are perceived like promises,
committing char further exploration and illumination will come.
As mentioned, asterisks are used to reference an annotation, though they
can also stand in for omitted writing- ohat you the writer have changed or have
some further comment to be made. Each of these have common errors, often
due to where the asterisk is place and what, if anything, it replaces.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Adjacent Punctuation: Place the asterisk after punctuation marks- treat
it the same as a superscript numeral. No space before that punctuation.
Incorrect Example: Mrs. Thompson statedthat the decision was sotmd~
Fix: Mrs. Tho,npson stated that the decision was sot1nd. *

Multiple Asterisks: Using a singular asterisk works fine so long as there


is only one reference or footnote on a given page. However, if multiple ones are
used, then it could get confusing as to what is being referred to; therefore, you
should increase the numbers of asterisks.
Incorrect Example: The data st1gxest that we need to make radical changes
to ot1r iefrastrt1ctt1re. * We also have to alter ow hiringpolicy to
re.fleet ,nodern practices. * This is st1pported by the branch ,nan-
ager. *
Fix: The data st1gxest that we need t.o make radical changes to ot1r inftastrt1c-
tt1re. * We also have to alter ot1r hiringpolicy to re.fleet modern
practices.** This is st1pported by the branch manager. ***

An alternative solution would be co change the asterisks to a numbered list:


The data st1gxest that we need to make radical changes to ot1r inftastrt1ctt1re.(l) ITT
also have to alter ot1r hiringpolicy to re.fleet modern practices.(2) This is stpported
by the branch manager.(])

O mission: There are a number of options available for omitting parts of


words. When using asterisks, omission generally involves vowels more than
consonants, but the context should still be clear- bur not too clear so as to
render censorship pointless.
Incorrect Example: Aljt boss told me he atdn 'tgive a da *n "abot1t ,ny exct1ses
forfailing.
228 APPENDIXA: PUNCTUATION GUIDE

Fix: ~ /Joss told me he tl1dn 'tgive a d**n "ahout ,ny excusesfarfailing.

An alternative option for omission employs em dashes: ~ /Joss told me he


tltdn 'tgive ad- -n "ahout my excusesfarfailing. Another possibility is brack-
ets if it's quoted material, like the example: My /Joss told me he "dtdn 't [care}"
ahout my excusesfarfailing;

S everal punctuation marks can set off parenthetical-


meaning related or supplementary- statements in sen-
tences, which can include just single words or fragments or
even m Ltltiple sentences, and each one has a different feel.
Commas can enclose entire statements, and they largely feel
neutral and matter-of-fact. D ashes are more abrupt and better highlight and
emphasize.
Parentheses suggest that the information contained within is complemen-
tary but not necessary. They are stronger than a comma and- like dashes- do
not grammatically impact the surrounding sentence, a rule that often leads to
unintentional mistakes.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Punctuation Placem en t: When parenthetical statements are included at
the end of a sentence and are a part of that sentence, the concluding punctua-
tion should be outside the parentheses.
Incorrect Example: Go to the store (its ahout a mile away.)
Fix: Go to the store (its ahout a mde away).

Another possible fix would be to make two sentences: Go to the store. (Its
ahout a mde away.) If the parenthetical portion is a stand-alone sentence, then
the puncniation goes inside the parentheses.

Verbs: Whatever is included inside the parentheses must nor be gram-


matically necessary to a sentence. Therefore, the verb tense shoald march the
sabject- this can sometimes sound awkward, so rewording the sentence can
be effective ( see below). You can cell if the parenthetical material is necessary by
caking che parentheses- and words within- out of the sentence and seeing if
it still works.

Incorrect Example: Ihepresident efthe company (and his assistant) were sup-
posed to arrive an hour ago.
Brackets 229

Fix: 1hepresident efthe co,npany (and his assistant) sho11/d have arrived an
houra.fO.
Translations: Shorr cranslarions of cexrs chat are not q uored can be
included in parentheses. (If it is quoted, then it should be in brackets. Also,
foreign words should always be italicized.)
lncorrecr Example: A-:lj, knowled![e efSpanish is limited to hola [hello} and
adios [.foodhye}.
Fix: Translations: A-:lj, knowled.fe efSpanish is limited to hola (hello) and
adios (.foodhye).

P erhaps not as popular as parentheses, brackets are used in


a similar fashion, enclosing words or figures and separat-
ing chem from che rest of a sentence as a parenthetical state-
ment. The distinction comes with where brackets are placed:
inside of quotes. They can also change elements of a quote,
altering capitalization or, as mentioned, adding informarion for clarification or
expansion.
Most issues with brackets come in rreating rhem as being more angular ver-
sions of parentheses, which they are not. They're certainly tied to parentheses,
bur they have specific functions with quotes and changes to written materials.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Changed Quotes: When altering elements of a quote, use brackets rather
than other kinds of punctuation- such as parentheses- to signal char the orig-
inal material is being altered by you, the writer.

Incorrect Examples: 1heyfa11nd that "(n}o evidence s11pports this conc/11sion."


Fix: 1heyfa11nd that "[n}o evidence s11pports this conc/11sion."

Brackets in Parentheses: In the event char parentheses are required within


parentheses, brackets are then used instead.
Incorrect Example: She to11red the co11ntry and.tave lect11res ( while sim11ltane-
011slyp11hlishin.fa hook (2008)).
Fix: She to11red the co11ntry and.tave lect11res (while sim11ltaneo11slyp11h/ishin.f
a hook [2008}).
Errors: The Latin term src means "dms" or "so"; chis indicates that a mistake
has been left in from an original quote and is nor the fault of you, the writer.
230 APPENDIXA: PUNCTUATION GUIDE

The word sic should be italicized, bur rhe enclosing brackets shouldn't be- the
inverse is used in the below example.

Incorrect Example: The representative's statement said that "h11man error were
responsih!e."
Fix: The representatives statement said that "h11man error were [sic} respon-
sible."

l~llli1~

H ave you ever trailed off when unsure what to say next in a
conversation or presentation? The written equivalent of
that is an ellipsis, or three periods one after the other. Ellipses
( the plural form) are used in sentences- often quotes- to
signal the omission of writing that is either superfluous or is
understandable from context clues, ensuring that only the most relevant infor-
mation is presented.
However, ellipses can also be used to indicate incomplete thoughts (like the
trailing off previous mentioned), provide a brief pause, or suggest a nervous and
awkward silence.
Tone is an important part of writing, and tools like ellipses- and a number
of other punctuation marks mentioned and to be mentioned- aid in conveying
rhis to readers.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Beginning and Ending a Quote: When a quote is introduced as part of a
sentence, ellipses aren't needed before or after, even if some material has been
omitted. Ellipses can be used in quotes- see the final example ("Omission'').
Incorrect Example: Abraham Lincoln said that '.' .. this government cannot
end11re, permanently . .. "when divided.
Fix: Abraham Lincoln said that "this government cannot emlttre, permanendy''
when divided.
Spacing: Microsoft Word and similar programs have automatic ellipses
generators, bur rhe spacing is insufficient for some styles. AP accepts no spaces,
bur for other sryles like Chicago, type our rhe spaces between, before, and after
the periods to form clearer ellipses points.

Incorrect Example: I d1dn t want to say it ... b11tyo11've ltjt me no choice: I do


think the dress makesyo11 lookfat.
Fix: I d1dnt want to say it ... b11tyo11've ltjt me no choice: I do think the dress
makes yo11 lookfat.
Period 23 1

Omission: Most styles advocate including a period before an ellipses that


is followed by a new sentence and capital. How the ellipses itself is formatted
depends, but it's generally the case chat if the word after the ellipses is capital-
ized, you should have a period before said ellipses.

Incorrect Example: 1horeau stated, "I learned . .. that !fone advances con-
fidently in the direction efhis dreams, . .. he wrl/ meet with . ..
success . .. He wt!/put some things behind. .. In proportion as he
simpijies his !!ft, the laws efthe universe wrll appear less complex."
Fix: Thoreau stated, "/learned . .. that !fone advances confidently in the direc-
tion efhis dreams, ... he will meet with ... success. ... He wrl/
put some things behind. ... In proportion as he simpl!fies his life,
the laws efthe universe will appear less complex."

E asily one of the most common punccuacion marks, the


period is used at the end of a sentence co show the con-
clusion of an idea or an abbreviation. Periods are like stop
signs, signaling a greater pause and concluding a complete
idea and clause. While rexring and ocher online trends rend
co no long use periods as such, most forms of professional writing (business,
scholarly, and such) still use periods as such.
Of course, most know what a period does, but it has some less well-known
uses, and its placement can be confusing when combined with other p unccua-
cion marks, leading co an assorm1enc of complications and errors.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Multiple Punctuation: When a sentence ends with an abbreviation, its
concluding period serves as both the terminal, ending punccuacion and the
period for the abbreviation.
Incorrect Example:Jonathan said, "Its late. live'l/ continue this tomorrow at
eighta.m.~
Fix:Jonathan said, "Its late. live'l/ continue this tomorrow at eight a.m."

Spacing: Back when rypewriters were a major writing cool, two spaces were
p laced after a period; today, however, a single space is more often preferred.

Incorrect Example: The document was written on a typewriter. Its a,nazing


how technolCJg'y has changed since then. I can't believe it.
Fix: The document was written on a typewriter. Its amazing how technology
has changed since then. I can't belie ve it.
232 APPENDIXA: PUNCTUATION GUIDE

Abbreviations: Particular style guides ultimately determine what periods


are included with what abbreviations, bur a loose, general rule is that periods
are included in lowercase and mixed-up (in terms of capitalization) abbrevia-
tions and removed for all-uppercase ones.

Incorrect Example: lhe EB.I. faund traces efNa.CL in the victim's ears, and
he'sjust been ,dent!Jiedas Mr Alvin Armstrong-, a Ph.D prefessor
efsociolog-y.
Fix: lhe FBifarmd traces efNaCl in the victims ears, and he'sjust been identl~
Jied as Mr. Alvin Armstrong-, a PhDprefessor efsociology.

H e had a heart arrack.""He had a heart arrack!" While


both of these are grammatically accurate, one more suc-
cessfully gets across the simarional distress and concern likely
associated with it, and that is the one with rhe exclamation
point. Exclamation points are used at the end of sentences to
signal excitement, outcry, or at least greater emphasis.
To be effective, exclamation points should be used in moderation-more
so than even other punctuation marks. The effect is greatly lessened with too
many repeated uses, to the point that it becomes basically like a period. There-
fore, be careful and employ the exclamation point only where truly needed and
appropriate.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Terminal Punctuation: Both question marks and exclamation points are
terminal punctuation (as are periods), so they should never be used together
in a single sentence, though there is a term for this: interrobang. In the below
example, either could be used, depending on intent, bur one should be chosen
so as to be correct.

Incorrect Example: What in the world areyou doing?!


Fix: What in the world are you doing!

Unnecessary Comma: If an exclamation point is used in rhe middle of a


sentence, like with dialogue, the comma that would normally be included inside
the concluding quotation mark is removed.
Incorrect Example: "Never mind!,"Dougyelled.
Fix: "Never mind/'Dougyelled.
Question Mark 233
Titular Exclam ation: When the exclamation point is part of a ride or
proper noun, then a comma should be used- as grammatically necessary.

Incorrect Example: Afier spendin.tyears at Yahoo! hefinally ,rot theJoh he


wanted at Goo,rle.
Fix: Afier spendin,ryears at Yahoo!, hefinally got theJoh he wanted at Google.

A s its name would suggest, a question mark is used at


the end of a sentence to indicate a direct question or to
express uncertainty or doubt. Indirect questions or requests
may seem like they should end with questions marks, bur
such would acmally conclude with periods.
Common shortcomings with question marks emerge from placement adja-
cent to other punctuation and whether it should be applied to a given statement.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Placement in Quotes: Unless quoted material is itself a question, place
rhe question mark outside of quotation marks to show rhar it isn't part of the
original quote and is rather part of the outside sentence structure.

Incorrect Example: Mat do yor, mean by "its time?"


Fix: Mat do yot1 mean by "its ti,ne"?

Unnecessary Comma: As mentioned before with exclamation points, if a


question mark is used in the middle of a sentence, such as with dialogue, then
the comma rhar would normally be included inside the concluding quotation
mark is removed.

Incorrect Example: "Mat time are we having dinner?," the girl asked.
Fix: "Mat time are we having dinner?" thegirlasked.

Requests: Though phrased as a question, requests should actually end with


a period rather than a question mark. Punctuating it this way eliminates the
possibility that the audience might say"no:•
Incorrect Exan1ple: Wot1!dyot1 rt1n this over to ot1r neighbor?
Fix: Wot1ldyot1 rt1n this over to ot1r neighbor.

U ncertainty: You can imply uncertainty by adding a question mark into


text to suggest following up and clarifying information. Use parentheses for reg-
ular text and brackets for quotes. Some authorities remove the space before the
234 APPENDIXA: PUNCTUATION GUIDE

question mark, making it part of rhe uncertain word, while others are more
inclined to have a space to allow for better flow. Choose whichever firs your
appropriate style guide.
Incorrect Example: The doctor advised me to only take three PJ Aspirin a day.
Fix: The doctor advised me to only take three(?) Aspirin a day.

M osr people are familiar with ampersands from names


like AT&T and brands like Dungeons & Dragons.
Ir is used to represent the conjunction and, commonly with
business names and with document sources in scholarly and
other forms of formal writing.
Some sryle guides advocate ampersands and other recommend spelling our
rhe and. Be clear on what your specific company uses. When it is used with
abbreviated business names or common expressions, do nor include spaces
around the ampersand.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Flowing Text: You should spell out rhe andin most rexrs, rides, and so on;
the ampersand isn't a perfect replacement. (The following examples will show
some of those acceptable instances.)
Incorrect Example: My schedulefar today is nn going to work, the gym, &
the spa.
Fix: A& schedulefar today is I'm going to work, the gym, and the spa.
Citation: Correct citation methods depend on the style being employed.
Chicago and MLA would have you spell our rhe and (as well as use rhe Oxford
comma), while APA is more inclined toward ampersands without the comma,
as seen above. Use rhe appropriate style for rhe business or genre.

Incorrect Example: Studies sr,ggest that the current methodfar creating m,c!ear
power could be made more tjficient (Smith,Jones, & Brown).
Fix: Studies suggest that the current methodfar creating nuclearpower could be
made more tj/icient (Smith,Jones & Brown).

Business Nam es: When business names (that are themselves abbre-
viations) include an ampersand, no spaces should separate rhe letters and
ampersand.
Slash 235
~---------------
Incorrect Example: My phones dead- guess its time to visit the AT & T
store.
Fix: Myphones dead-guess its time to visit the AT&Tstore.

T he slash is not commonly used outside of informal


communication. Almost everyone who's ever sent a text
message has used"and/or" to suggest either or both of stated
possibilities. However, slashes are used in more formal and
professional spheres between other alternatives (functioning
similar to the word or), as well as with fractions, ratios, and line breaks in flow-
ing text for poetry and musical lyrics.
There are two forms of slashes: forward and backward. They are not inter-
changeable and will be distinguished with other common mistakes associated
with slashes.

ERRORS AND SOLUTIONS


Direction of Slash: A backward slash should nor be used interchangeably
with a standard forward slash. A backward slash is really only ever used in com-
puter coding.
Incorrect Example: It makes no d!lference-use a colon /semicolon.
Fix: It ,nakes no difference- use a co/on/semicolon.

Poetry and Music: Poetic and musical line breaks are signaled by slashes.
New lines are capitalized, and the slash should have spaces on each side of it.
Incorrect Example: Ro6ert Frost in his poe,n "lhe Road Not Taken" wrote,
7 took one fess traveled 6y, and that has ,nade a!! the difference."
Fix: Ro6ert Frost in his poem "lhe Road Not Taken" wrote, 7 took one fess
traveled 6y, / Andthat has made a!! the difference."

Normal Spacing: When in doubr, don't include spaces around slashes.


There are certain exceptions listed in Chicago, and there should be spaces when
suggesting line breaks in poetry (as seen in the previous example), bur gener-
ally spaces aren't needed. Definitely do not have a space after a slash and not
one before- commit to no spaces or including spaces; in whichever case, be
consistent.

Incorrect Example: You couldgo to the ,naff andget a pretzel/ an ice cream
cone.
Fix: You couldgo to the ma!! andget a pretz el/an ice cream cone.
AP-PEN DIX B: ST-UDENT EXERCISES

Transitional words and phrases assist readers in forming connections


between concepts, creating greater sentence and paragraph cohesion.
Find the most firring transition words or phrases to improve cohesion in
the following sentences. Use any transitions more than once-and don't be
limited to the examples provided.
Example transitional words:
Therefore However
First Bur also
Of course Thus
So Accordingly
Also Next
Overall Conversely

1. One ofJane's favorite pastimes is traveling. _ , she took a sales job so that
she wouldn't have to pay for her hobby. _ , it hasn't worked out the way she
wanted _ pitch meetings take almost all of the time she has in any new
area._ she's always tired due to catching red-eye flights. The sights have
certainly been magnificent,_ the job hasn't allowed her to do what she

237
238 APPENDIXB: STUDENTEXERCISES
loves-too much work and nor enough play._, while it fed her traveling
addiction, she knew sales wasn't for her and quit.
2. Ir's raining today; _ , we can't go ro the beach. _ , everyone's really tired,
perhaps it wouldn't be safe to try and make such a long trip anyway. _ ,
seeing as someone forgot to buy food for the road, we'd all be exhausted,
hungry, _ cranky by rhe rime we even got there. _, I'm going to sleep.
3. Deciding on what university to attend is often a difficult decision for
students._, most guidance counselors will provide them with different
resources _ assessments and brochures. _ , counselors need to offer stu-
dents more resources in order to assist them with making a more informed
decision about where to go for further education._, this isn't easy task
for the counselors, who have to rake into consideration many different
factors-GPA, affordability, location, career goals-to present the best
options. _, rhe process of selecting a college is easy for no one.

Transitions can link sentence-level ideas, bur they can also do so between
entire paragraphs; you might know these as topic sentences. Including transi-
tional words and phrases between paragraphs help readers understand larger
connections between paragraphs and often relate back to a central idea or
message.
The following example doesn't include transitions between paragraphs.
Add them at the start of each paragraph so that the whole reads more smoothly.

1. Traveling to new places is more than a hobby-it's a way of life. I work


solely to fund my next trip. When I was nineteen, I went on my first voyage
by myself. I saw Scandinavia, Sweden, and the Netherlands. Afterward, I
knew I'd spend the rest of my days traveling rhe globe, seeing new sights
and meeting new people. I'm so addicted that when I'm not traveling, I'm
planning where to go next.
_ _ _ _ _. I receive numerous promotional emails from traveling
websites. Harrison's Travel Log and Trailblazer are rwo of my favorites.
When I open an email and read rhe headline-"Sale. $500 all-inclusive
5 nights in Hawaii"-! can picture myself already there. I imagine myself
lying on rhe beach, far away from my daily drudgery and responsibilities.
- - - - ~ I recently ordered a monthly magazine called Travel on
a Budget. I knew it would feed my addiction more, bur I couldn't resist.
This is one of rhe best traveling magazines our there. Ir offers great rips,
such as keep a hundred-dollar bill folded up inside your luggage rag for
emergencies (21). I'd never thought to do rhar. Nor only do I appreciate
the magazine's traveling rips, bur the exotic pictures entice me even further.
The current issue showed views of Sicily, and now I have to go there and
see it myself.
Parallelism 239
_ _ _ _ _J· I'm currently planning a trip to Vancouver next month.
Every rime I rake a trip, it makes me wane to see more of the world and
enjoy all it has co offer.

Parallelism, or parallel structure, balances phrases and clauses in one or


more sentences, ensuring char your wriring is readable and easier to process for
readers.
Correct the errors in the following sentences by altering verb tense or
restructuring the sentence as a whole-whatever fixes the problem and allows
for appropriate emphasis, rhythm, and clarity. Errors will include faulry paral-
lelism in individual words or phrase and clause scruccure.

1. Learning a new language as an adulr is more difficulr than to learn one as


a child.
2. We couldn't help bur wonder who he was and was doing here.
3. There are only two ways co gee ahead in the world: making friends, or co
gee lucky.
4. The bride strolled down the aisle, turned co the groom, and was blushing.
5. His mother cur the carrots, diced tomatoes, and was peeling rhe potatoes
when his father came rushing ch rough the door.
6. The author nor only wanes fame bur also money.
7. The TV show Won't You B e My N eighbor? is enjoyable and it is educational.
8. I prefer co swim rather than diving.
9. Our group emphasized fair work distribution, communication, and being
responsible for one another.
10. You'll find rhe spare light bulbs in the closer or kitchen counter.
11. My friends should never judge me by my words or what I did.
12. The customer was extremely frustrated and wanted co exchange her food,
co obtain a refund, or she wanted co speak to rhe restaurant manager.

The difference between active and passive voice primarily revolves around
the subject being the agent or patient of the sentence; char is, does the person
or thing perform an action (active) or does something happen co or change rhe
subject (passive).
Boch styles have their place, though active is generally perceived as more
concise and clear for most readers. Even in scientific writing or political
2 40 APPENDIXB: STUDENT EXERCISES
spheres-where passive is more commonly used and accepted-coo much of it
clouds meaning and bogs down readers.
Possible reasons to use passive voice:

• The subject or agent of the sentence is unknown.


• You are conveying a general truth.
• The person or thing being acted upon is what's being emphasized.
• You wish to be vague about the subject or agent.

The following sentences and paragraphs contain active and passive sen-
tences. Revise when it's appropriate. Sometimes passive might be acceptable or
even preferable, depending on the context and how long it takes to convey an
idea-however, when in doubt, active voice is almost always a good option.

1. The university's entrance exam was failed by over half of the school's appli-
cants. Action was considered by various department heads and adminis-
tration to ensure that attendance would not fall below acceptable levels.
Eventually, a decision was reached.
2. Water dissolved the sodium hydroxide. Hydrochloric acid then titrated
this solution.
3. Mistakes were made by me and by others in this committee. Lines were
crossed. This fact is known, and responsibility will be accepted from those
who are accountable.
4. Last year, a hurricane was experienced by my family and me. It was Hurri-
cane Fabio, and incredible damage to our property and neighborhood was
caused by its powerful winds of over rwo hundred miles per hour, as well
as its heavy rains. The pine tree in our yard was uprooted and blown across
the roof of our house, creating a massive hole, through which rain poured
in. The front room was flooded with water, which rose to a height of two
feer. When we began co believe the worst of the storm had passed, we
glanced our a window co see char our minivan had been hie by our neigh-
bor's own fallen rree.
5. A somewhat controversial proposal was presented by rhe data-processing
deparm1ent that requested an increase to its staff. After an extremely long
debate, rhe long-rerm planning committee endorsed rhe proposal.

Unlike speech, which often contains qualifiers and fillers, technical writing
should eliminate all unnecessary words, phrases, and ideas in order co get
straight co the main message readers want.
Here are some tips for reducing wordiness:
Verbosi 24 1
• Remove fi!ler words and phrases such as, "Ir is commonly believed rhar ver-
bosity is bad:'
• Cur any redundancies in words or ideas.
• Avoid rhe use of qualifiers like very in, "She is very misinformed:'
• Replace longer phrases wirh short, succinct ones.
• Eliminate as many instances of passive voice as appropriate for rhe writing
situation.

Put these and other effective principles into practice by editing down
rhe following sentences and paragraphs ro make rhe end reSLt!rs as direct and
concise as possible.

1. For a!l intents and purposes, rhe reason rhar Mr. Franklin arrived quire !are
for work was due to rhe simple fact rhar he stopped his vehicle ar many
traffic lights rhar were red-or even ye!low-in color.
2. In a situation in which a co!lege class is overentolled, you may request rhar
rhe instructor of rhe class give you a permission-to-add code. However, rhis
option is nor guaranteed to ger you into a class, as some universiry depart-
ments won't give our codes anymore.
3. A university campus rally was arrended by more rhan five hundred stu-
dents. Six students, during rhe event, were arrested by rhe campus police
for disorderly conduct and property damage, while several other students
were charged by rhe campus administrators with rhe organization of a pub-
lic meeting wirhour being issued a permit by rhe school ro organize such
events.
4. In rhe very near future, college freshmen must all become more aware of
rhe basic fact rhar there is a need for rhem to make contact wirh an aca-
demic adviser concerning rhe important matter of a major and rhe selection
thereof.
5. Government leaders rend to like ro reference rhe creation of new jobs for
rhe country's citizens. They claim rhar rhese newly created jobs indicate
rhar there is a strong economy. They, however, don't mention rhar rhe low-
wage jobs are typically created without many-if any-benefits or security.
6. A fairly substantial number of people very much enjoy reading murder
mystery books on a regular basis. Generally speaking, of course, rhese peo-
ple are nor murderers themselves, nor would rhese people rea!ly ever truly
enjoy seeing another person commit an actual murder, nor would most of
rhese people actua!ly enjoy trying ro solve a legirimare murder. They prob-
ably simply enjoy reading murder mysteries because of this reason: they
have found a way to escape from rhe monotonous, boring, uninspiring rou-
tine of du!l everyday existence.
2 42 APPENDIXB: STUDENTEXERCISES
To such kinds of people, the murder mystery book genre is realistic
fantasy. Ir is realistic because rhe characters in the murder mystery are,
as a general rule, reasonably believable as real people. They are nor just
made-up, cardboard curour figures. Ir is also more realistic than some other
book genres because rhe character who is the hero-the character who
solves rhe murder mystery-solves it nor usually by trial and error and
other haphazard methods, bur rather by exercising a higher degree of logic
and reason than your average person. Ir is absolutely and totally necessary
for the people who enjoy murder mysteries to have some sort of admiration
for rhe human faculty of logic
Bur iris noteworthy rhar murder mysteries are also fantasies. The
kinds of people who read such books of fiction are basically playing a game.
Ir is a game in which they suspend certain emotions. One of these human
emotions that they must suspend is a sense of pity. If the average reader
stops to feel pity and sympathy for each and every story victim who is
killed, or if rhe reader stops to feel terrible horror rhar such a thing could
happen in our modern world of today, rhar person will simply never folly
appreciate the reading of murder mysteries. The reader of murder myster-
ies keeps uppermost in mind at all times the goal of arriving, through logic
and observation, at the final solution to the mystery offered in the book
by its author. Ir is a game with life and death. Whodunits hopefully help
the readers to hide from rhe hideous horrors of actual life and death in the
world outside the book.

Not all sentences are created equal in terms of effectiveness. Like a hun-
dred-merer sprint, you've got to start and end strong. There are techniques
employed by professionals and general rips on how to begin a sentence, as well
as how to keep your audience engaged through it, but keep in mind rhar what's
most important in technical writing is that you're able to convey the necessary
information to readers clearly and direcdy. Don't let style and flourish override
rhis.
Also, nor every suggestion below will be applicable to a given writing sce-
nario; however, the following are some ways to improve both sentence begin-
nings and sentence construction overall:

• Avoid certain sentence beginnings: this is, it is, that is, it is important to note
that, at the end of the day, there are, and so on. (You mighr've noticed rhar
there are was used in rhe introduction to this section. These sentence begin-
nings don't need to be avoided like the plague-more like the common
cold: preferable not to have as they lack meaning, bur it won't kill your
writing.)
Stron Sentence Structure 24 3
• Unless appropriate, rarely use passive voice, as it increases verbosity,
obscures meaning, and often necessitates weaker sentence beginnings.
• Eliminate redundancies in wording and information, as well as vagueness.
• Consider using certain techniques frequently employed by professional
writers (again, evaluate your writing situation and only use those rhar are
appropriate):
• Airer sentence lengths between short and long and complex to create
variety.
• Combine sentences to vary sentence lengths and structures.
• Start with (and potentially include in the middle) informative descrip-
tions such as infinitive phrases, prepositional phrases, parallelism,
truncated clauses, and coordinating or correlative conjunctions to add
sryle and diversity.
• Add appositives, absolutes, or modifiers to develop additional meaning for
rhe sentence's subject, either at rhe beginning or as an interjectory clause.

Using some of these rips and techniques, revise the following sentences
and paragraphs to have stronger beginnings and a better structure as a whole,
eliminating, adding, or combining elements to correct as well as strengthen rhe
sentence.

1. Ir is important that all who work at the company feel valued. Our president
is dedicated to ensuring that employees know they're valued and appreci-
ated. Measures will be implemented by management to help create this
atmosphere of appreciation in every department.
2. Last weekend I saw a science-fiction film. I watched rhe movie with sev-
eral friends. The film focused on the experiments of a mad scientist in
space. He controlled his patients' lives by manipulating their dreams.
3. There are more effective ways to use our budget. Ir is important to remem-
ber that we have limited resources and rime, and the client is expecting
results soon. In the end, if this ream doesn't get back on track soon, we
won't keep our client. Then the business will nor survive.
4. Many animals are still complete mysteries to scientists. This has generated
a great interest in studying rarer species. There are so many creatures our
there we know so lirrle about.
5. To improve his writing, tired of feeling inadequate compared to his peers,
and after he'd embarrassed himself with a post online, several books were
read by Jack in order to make his writing skills betrer.
6. For me, rhe absolute worst thing about waiting rabies is rhe restaurant
uniform. All of the waitresses at the restaurant I worked at have to wear
an ugly brown-striped jumper. The shirts are polyester and scratchy.
2 44 APPENDIXB: STUDENT EXERCISES
Sometimes someone you know comes in. Now I have a job in an office. I
don't miss it at all.
7. Mr. Williams is elderly and struggling to make due on his own. He can't
legally drive. He has trouble getting up rhe stairs of his house. He has debts
to pay without sufficient funds. He needs help from his community.
8. I think that if kids watch too much TV that can be bad. My kid brother
watches too much TV and he doesn't do enough to help our around the
house. Thar is nor good and it shows how accurate my point is. It is necessary
for parents to make kids watch less TV. It is bad for their brains and habits.

In technical instruction, you'll employ imperative mood. This writing style


omits the pronoun in a sentence and issues a command for readers to follow in
present tense. Imperative mood is some of the most direct, uncluttered writing
you'll ever create.
Rewrite rhe following sentences to be in the imperative mood, eliminating
all unnecessary words or extra derails to ensure clarity and simplicity. Bur be
sure essential information is present.

1. You should begin by inserting the memory card into che card slot.
2. Now char you've complete che second seep, you muse pull out and assemble
rhe parts for step three.
3. You will need co heat up the water co a hundred degrees. This is when the
water boils.
4. Unwisely walking around near the cliff edge may result in a dangerous fall,
and therefore it is recommended rhat you stay a safe distance to maintain
your personal security.
5. A large volume of the liquid needs co be extracted.
6. The user may now choose to open up the file, and it'll automatically open
itself when it is clicked on with the mouse.
7. Opening rhe box will require using rhe provided boxcurrer. Use it to cur
open each side of the container. Then carefully close the boxcurrer to make
sure no one is injured by it.
8. You might want to wear gloves or some other kind of protective material
when handling che hot place. Burns are possible.
9. le would be ideal if you were able to sec at lease six hours aside to complete
the task. This is recommended because the process is difficult to restart
once begun.
10. Take or use chis product precisely as directed. Ingest three pills by the
mouth daily for the week.
Pur ose Statements 245

Purpose statements, or theses, are declaratives sentences chat summarize


a particular subject and goal of a document or project. These are usually in che
introduction to provide the audience with an accurate understanding of what
will be addressed and gained from reading.
Effective purpose statements are:

• Goal-oriented
• Clear, without any tangents or unnecessary details
• Precise
• Concise- around one or two sentences

Write purpose statements for the following subjects, being as thorough


and specific as possible; feel free to do some quick research and be creative. If
none of these are appealing, search for a topic that works better for you. (This
could help you explore potential topics for your literature review.)

1. What effect do B vitamins have in preventing neurodegeneracion in the


brain?
2. How effective is cognitive behavior therapy on pediatric obesity?
3. Does playing video games affect ones' psychological development and
behavior?
4. How feasible is zero-energy for building design?
5. What are the effects of biogeograph ical studies on aquatic species?

Ambiguity is the enemy in technical writing. Whether you're writing


instructions, descriptions, or any ocher kind of technical document, your
language needs to match the context and has to be precise, as vagueness could
result in your company being sued and you being Ii.red.
In the following sentences and paragraphs, identify the ambiguity (some
will have more than one alternative interpretation) and rewrite so meaning is
clear. You might clarify pronouns, break up strings of nouns with prepositional
phrases, clarify wording, and so on.

1. Only at rwo hundred degrees did the solution begin adhering to the con-
tainer walls, and chis was not consistent.
2. The department head grilled her aide over lose documents.
3. I saw a man on a hill with binoculars.
4. Apparencly,Joel isn't coming co the parry. Tell Mark chat we'll see him on
Thursday.
2 46 APPENDIXB: STUDENT EXERCISES
5. Though my motorcycle hit a tree, it wasn't damaged.
6. The compiler didn't accept the program because it contained errors.
7. Look at the dog with one eye.
8. In low atmospheric temperatures and high oil toxicity levels, we res red how
well the organisms endured.
9. Derrick called his father last night. They talked for over an hour, and he
confirmed rhar he'd be home tomorrow.
10. Juliet's nurse gave Romeo a message saying rhar she was in love with him.

IIIIU~Y:.1~11.a1.1J~Ut•■•1~1:a:

Titles in documents and subject lines in emails serve as concise miniature


introductions. They're the first bit of information your readers receive.
Both guide readers and often determine if more will be read. To craft
effective rides and subject lines, you must keep them to rhe point, specific to
rhe topic, and tonally consistent with rhe rest of rhe document or email. Also,
use keywords from the field so that it's searchable, in a database or in an email
folder. Differences emerge in that email subject lines are often more personal
and flexible in what they contain, such as names, deadlines, and persuasive
sales tactics.
Write several different variations of rides or subject lines for rhe follow
topics. (Each is marked as being meant for a ride or a subject line, as there are
some differences between the two types, as previously mentioned.)

l. Title: You've been assigned to write a report investigating two types ofbio-
mecric authentication: physiological and behavioral. (Physiological biomet-
ric authenticarion uses physical ch aracteristics to authenticate someone,
whereas behavioral biometric authentication measures a person's behaviors
to authenticate him or her.) Your emphasis is on which of these kinds of
authentication is more secure and is likely to be the standard in the near
future.
2. Subject line; You were assigned to updated your company's handbook-
specifically rhe safety procedures around heavy machinery. Now completed
and approved, you're to send it our to all company employees in a mass
email, requesting rhar they read it over.
3. Title: You work for an insu rance organization and have been told to
research and write up a technical description of a possible new model of
vehicle to be used by claim adjusters as they go into the field to verify cus-
tomer claims. Your company has given you a budget for the p urchase and
is looking for a model that is more fuel-efficient and has better GPS and
Bluetoorh technology.
Natural Diction and Tone 247
4. Subject line: A company fire drill is scheduled for tomorrow, and you've
been asked to remind those in your department of when it is and what
procedures to follow.
5. Title: You've been assigned to write a literature review about the current
state of solar power research and technology in terms of efficiency and envi-
ronmental impact when compared to ocher kinds of energy transformation.
6. Subject line: You've just finished an interview for a job you desperately want
and decide co craft a thank you email for your interviewers-just a cou-
ple lines expressing gratitude for their rime and your continued interest in
working for them.
7. Title: You've been told to write a sec of instructions for customers who
buy a new drone model, which requires assembly after purchase and is
upgraded with superior GPS and motor power.
8. Subject line: You work for a marketing firm and are sending out a pro-
motional email to chose on the company subscription list, advertising an
upcoming seminar on recent developments in SEO strategies. You want to
get people interested in registering for che event as early as possible.

When scarring a particular document or project, you need to answer sev-


eral key questions to nail the word choice and the tone you'll employ:

• Why am I writing chis document?


• Who am I writing to and what do I know about chem?
• What is the context surrounding my audience?

You've seen questions like these in chis textbook already, bur they're worth
reiterating. Knowing answers to them solidify what level you should write at,
what words will be best for conveying information to specific readers, what
cone of voice to use, and so on.
In most forms of business or technical writing, a positive, direct, and con-
fident cone that is clear on what's most important and what will benefit your
readers is effective.
Assuming that you're writing to an educated audience-meaning intelli-
gent bur not necessarily informed readers-cake the following sentences and
paragraphs and rewrite them to march the audience and positive cone most
people respond well co and appreciate. (Ac rimes when a positive cone isn't
appropriate, like when addressing fault or conveying ocher kinds of failure,
maintain professionalism that doesn't attack individuals, bur rather makes
your position on a given issue clear.)
2 48 APPENDIXB: STUDENT EXERCISES
1. I'm unequivocally the hardest worker I know, and I'm always looking co
improve. I have always felt char my rime shOLtld be spent well, so I unceas-
ingly challenge myself. Recently, I doubled my efforts and rook a full-rime
load of college courses while holding two pare-rime jobs. I achieved a 3.93
GPA, and in rhe same semester I managed co bench three rimes my body-
weight and do rhirry pull-ups.
2. You did nor read rhe instructions as carefully as you should have, thus your
system has shut down.
3. She will be our of town from March 30 until April 11 and won't be able co
meet with you until after then. Don't forger co book a meeting room ahead
of rime.
4. Thank you for offering me rhe position of manager at your company.
Unfortunately, I'm unable co accept the offer. I didn't chink char the posi-
tion would effectively utilize my communication and customer-service
skills co rhe degree char I was hoping. Therefore, I have accepted a job as
assistant director at a different organization.
5. Please don't lock rhe supply closer. If you do, chose who don't have keys will
be annoyed and have co rake rime ro bother janitorial or coworkers co gee
it unlocked.
6. When elucidating certain academic topics, students may attempt co meet
or even co excel minimum word count requirements for a given scholas-
tic assignment by constructing lengthy compound sentence structures and
superior diction, which are-in some cultures-indicative of an advanced
degree of education and greater verbal dexterity.
7. I can't continue co allow company employees co arrive lace on a regular
basis. This sore of behavior is absolmely unprofessional and unacceptable.
8. This letter was sent co lee you know char you won't be receiving rhe Blake
Scholarship; we spent many months working through thousands of sub-
missions, and rhe scholarships wen,t co rhe most impressive applicants.
9. Failure co keep to the project rimeline will result in severely altered dead-
lines, which will most likely lead co several curs co the bottom line and
delayed projects down the road.
10. Eric, the working conditions in your wing are utterly horrendous! The
floors are slippery, handrails are frequently loose, and machinery is coo
crowded. And rhe stink is revolting. I'm almost astounded char there hav-
en't been more injuries in the area. What an absolute dump. What kinds
of slobs are you all over there? I'm giving you notice char I won't be bring-
ing any more clients over co see your operations, nor will I be setting foot
in your wing until you and those under your management deal with the
pigsty.
APPENDIX C:
------SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

Resumes and Cover Letters . 250


Reports. 254
Proposal 258
Instructions 272
Technical Descriptions . 29 1
Literature Review . 292

249
250 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARYEXAMPLES

Christine Padilla
12345 Corrigan Court, Fremont, CA. 5 10 .555.5750.christine.padilla@email.com

September 25, 20 17

San Jose G iants


588 East A lma Avenue
San Jose, CA 95 I 12

Dear Hiring Manager:

I am interested in applying for the internship posted on pbats.com to work with the San Jose
Giants next smnmer as an athletic tra ining student. I have been a huge Giants fan for many years,
and my love of Giants baseball and experience as an ath letic training major will allow me to
become a valuable asset to your program.

My clinical assignments in die athletic training program at Brigham Young University have
a llowed me to apply what I am leaming from my various c lasses. I spent my first semester
working w ith the baseball team. My responsibilities included treating athletes, preparing the field
and practice facilities with the proper setup, completing rehab protocols w idi injured athletes,
working dirough preventative workouts widi pitchers, and covering games and practices.
Working with the baseball team taught me the value of understanding die human body and die
importance of creating plans to prevent and reduce injuries. I am currently working w ith BYU's
rehab il itation coordinator, mostly focusing with the football team. This assignment has
broadened my knowledge of injuries, and the rehab necessary to help the athletes come back as
qu ickly and as strong as possible. My responsibilities include working through rehab plans with
injured athletes on a daily basis and charting their progress using written notes and charts. As I
have seen the rehab coordinator evaluate and create rehab plans, I have learned the importance of
thinking outside the box and using feedback from individual athletes to tailor each plan to their
needs.

In addition to my formal education, working as .a student athletic trainer for sports camps this
summer gave me the oppommity to further apply my skills. I worked with various sports,
including baseball, soccer, lacrosse, basketball, and volleyball. Campers included kids ranging in
age from five to seventeen years old. My responsibilities included practice and game coverage,
evaluating injuries, treatments, writing injury reports, and communicating pertinent infonnation
to parents. Th is experience helped me learn how to prioritize the needs of athletes and to remain
calm in stressful situations. During one night of soccer camp, I evaluated a possible clavicle
fracture, a possible fibular fracture, and mu ltiple sprained ankles. The athletes were sent to the
doctor for further evaluations and tests, and when diey returned we followed protocol given by
their doctors.

Thank you for taking die time to read my application; I look forward to hearing from you
regarding this position. If you have any questions, please feel free to call or text me (5 10-896-
5750) or email me at (christine.pad illa l @gmail.com).

Sincerely,

Christine Padilla
Resumes and Cover Letters 25 I

Christine Padilla
1234 5 Corrigan Court Fremont, CA. 510.555.5750. christine.padilla@email.com

Experience Highlights
ATHLETIC TRAJNING
• Treated athletes and aided the BYU baseball t-eam for 360-t hours to help them remain healthy and
recover from injuries
• Carried out rehab protocol with the BYU Rehabili tation Coordi nator for 400-t hours to help
injured athletes return to play
• Supervised the medical care of !Oo+ children during athletic participation in summer sports camps
to ensure their safety and health

LE ADERS HIP AN D TEAMWORK


• Organized a service project of various groups to help prepare kits for homeless children living in a
she lter
• Tra ined and taught a group of Io+ volunteers in Brazil to make volunteer efforts more effective
and efficient with time management
• Organized and carried out summer field trips to entertain and educate school aged children
• Executed timing and recording tasks with other certified officials for 100+ athletes to ensure times
and marks were accurate for track meets

Education
BACHELOR'S DEGREE
BS: Brigham Young University, Provo, Utah December 20 I 8
Major: Athletic Training
GPA: 3.95
• Golden Key International Honour Society
• Phi Eta Sigma Honor Society Member
• Phi Kappa Phi Honor Society Member

Specialized Skills
• Fluent in readi ng, writing, and speaking Portuguese
• CPR, AED, and First Aid Certified
• Certified USATF Official

Employment and Volunteer Experience


• Student Athletic Trainer, BYU Sports Camps; Provo, UT June 20 17- September 20 17
• USATF Official; Provo, UT January 20 16-Present
• Daycare Assistant, Ms. Tracey 's The Pe,fect Daycare; Newark, CA March 20 15 - August 20 I 5
• Personal Assistant, Rieko Titus; Fremont, CA Apri l 2015 - August 2015
• Portuguese Speaking Volunteer; Piracicaba, Brazil August 2013-February 2015
252 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

Olivia Oliphant

123 N 456 E#326 Provo, UT 84606


Email: olivia.oliphant@email.com
Phone: (602) 555-1682
Dear Internship Manager.

I would like ro panicipare in rhe "femporary H ir,e Srudenr l nrernship Program with rhe NGA ch is
upcoming summer. I have revie'\ved the job descriprion posted on rhe agency websire and I believe rhe internship
focw area char most interest.,; me is analysi.,;_ My experience, education and skill-. uniquely qualify me for chi.,; pose
and I believe 1 will make a grear addirion co chis progrJm.

I am a hard working ind ividual wirh fierce loyalry and rea.c;onabilicy. I work hard for people and causes l
care abouc. I have always had a very visual and spacial mind. I learn quickly and I am good ar understand ing how
principles relate ro each other. I am c urrently studying Geographywich an emphasis in Geospatial l nrelligence ac
Brigham Young Univer:siry. I am gaining skills in communicarion, com purer programming, image inrerpreurion
and manymher areas char 1 believe will help me make a positive comribution rn your agency. 1 am eager co apply
che skills I have acquired in a way char improves your wor-kplace and comribuces co your go al ofsupponing o ur
amied force.sand narional securiry.

Comperenrcommunicarion seems co be an imponanr qualificarion for chi.c; posring. In my experience I


clearly and concisely communicate my opinions and problems in a way char allows rhe people around me ro
understand che isrne and cake action. 1 have used rhi.1o skill in che past ch roug h my work wirh rhe BYU Police
Deparcmem. We communicate using radios and a.c; s uc h we are requ ired co u.c;e brief and ro~rhe--poim langu age.
Ar che beginning I srruggled ro make my language conds,e bur rhrough pracrke I was able ro handle many
emergency siruations including car cra.1ohes and securiry b reaches in a professional and effective manner.

I belie\fe rhar leaders are also an imponam pan of any ream. I have had \farious experiences leading and
training rhose I work with. In many sicuarioru1 I have been in charge of a group of people and ha\fe been required
ro make decision.lo and re.olve issues. T hrough rhese experiences I have learned how ro lead so chac a ceam runs a.1o
effecti\fely as possible.

Thank you for your arremion and rhe opporrnniry co apply for rhi.c; program. I look forward co hearing
from you regarding chis imern.1ohip. Feel free rocomacc mewich anyque.tion.1oorconcems ac (602) 555• 1682 or
olivia.oliphanc3@gmail.com.

Sincerely.

Olivia Oliphanr
Resumes and Cover Letters 25 3

Olivia Oliphant
123 N 456 E #326 Provo, UT 84606
Email: olivia.oliphant@email.com
Phone: (602) 5 55-1682

CAREER OBJECTIVE: Seeking an internship as a Geospacial Analyse in a government agency

LEADERSHIP EXPERIENCE:
• Assisted in traini ng 6 individuals in order co maintain proper procedures and a consistent and
orderly work environment.
• Supervised teams of 4 -5 traffic officers during university events co insure parking for VIP's and
the general public and maintain smooch traffic flow.
• Led teams of 6 cooks in food preparation and sanitation proced ures co provid e high qual ity food
to custom ers.

COMMUNICATION:
• Presented an analysis of a cens11s trace including ~4000 individuals in Mesa, AZ in o rder co
better understand economic, cultural , and social relationships in the area.
• Gave various trainings in Spanish co groups of 6-8 fellow volunteers regardi ng teach ing
principles co improve effectiveness.
• Created and submi11ed 5 maps displaying natural disaster hazard areas in Utah County, UT and
provided a bri ef analysis and suggestions co aid in the search for a safe residence.

TECHNICAL SKILLS: ArcG IS, C#, M S Word, PP and Excel, Google Earth, Basic Image Analysis

WORK EXPERIENCE:
BYU Police: T raffic Officer - Provo, UT- July 2013 - Present
Jacob Lake Inn: Kitchen W orker- Fredonia, AZ - Septem ber 2015 - November 2015

EDUCATION:
Bachelor of Arcs: Geography: Emphasis in Geospacial Intelligence
Brigham Yo ung University -- G raduation Expected April 201 9
C umulative GPA: 3.93

RELEVANT COURSEWORK:
GEOG 2 12: Geographic Information Systems, GEOG 2 13: Earth and Image Interpretation, GEOG
2 I 7: Programming for Geographers, GEOG 211: M ap Use and Interpretation
254 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

Note: While it is not practical to reprint the entire reports here, the reports
from which we have taken our examples and many others can be found at,tao-,tov
for your perusal and education.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
TRA"IJSMI'ITAL LETl'ER
SHIP CLASSES
SHIPBUILDING OUTCO'.\1ES
Cost (Key Findings 01. and 02.)
Schedule (Key Finding 03.)
Quality (Key Finding 04.)
Performance (Key Finding 05.)
SHIPBUILDING RISK
Addressed Risk (Key Finding 06.)
Unaddressed Risk (Key Finding 07.)
Case Study: Ford Class Aircraft Carrier
Improved Practices (Key Finding 08.)
Sanctioned Risk (Key Findings 09. - 12.)
NEXT STEPS
CONGRESSIONAL CO:\L\ffITEES
APPENDIX I
APPENDIX II
APPENDIX III
GAO PRODUCI'S

T his is a work of the U.S. government and is not subject to copyright protection in the United States. The
published product may be reproduced and d istributed in its entirety without further pemiission from GAO.
However, because this work may contain copyrighted images or other material. permission from the
copyright holder may be necessary if you wish to reproduce this material separately.
Reports 255

United States Government Accountability Office


Report to Congressional Committees

June 2018
F-35 JOINT STRIKE
FIGHTER

Development Is
Nearly Complete, but
Deficiencies Found in
Testing Need to Be
Resolved

This report was revised June 131 2018 to correct four figures in
table 1 on page 4.

GAO-18-321
256 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARYEXAMPLES

TRANSMITTAL LETTER

U.S. GOVERNMENT ACCOUNTABILITY OFFICE


44 1 G St. N.W., Washington, DC 20548

June 6, 201 8

Co ngressional Committees,

Challenges in meeting shipbui lding cost, schedule, and performance goals have resulted
in a less-capable and smaller fleet today than t he Navy planned over 10 years ago. W hile
the Navy is continuing to accept delivery of shi ps, it has received $24 billion more in
funding than o rig inally planned but has 50 fewer ships in its inventory today, as compared
to the goals it first established in its 2007 lo ng- range shipbuild ing pla n. Cost g rowth has
contributed to the e rosio n of the Navy's buying power with ship costs exceeding estimates
by over $ 11 billio n during this time frame. Additionally, the Navy's shipbuild ing programs
have had years of constructio n delays and, even whe n the ships eventually reached the
fleet, they often fell short of quality and performance expectations. Congress and the
Department of Defense have mandated o r imp lemented various reform efforts that have
led to some improvements, but poor o utcomes tend to persist in shipbuild ing programs.

T he Nl avy is now planning for the most significant


fleet size increase in over 30 years, which
280
.,.,,
actual
ir,2018
includes some costly and complex
acquisitions, such as the Columbia
2
S 06 cla ss balli stic missile submarine and a
new class of g uided missile frigates.
In its long-range shipbuilding plan
accompanying the fiscal year 201 9
budget, the Navy estimated that it
needs over $ 200 billio n during the
next 10 years to sustain a Navy
fleet with more than 300 ships and
begin working toward its ultimate
goal of achieving a 355- ship fleet.
As it embar1<s upon thi s plan, the
Navy has an opportunity to improve
its shipbuild ing a pproach a nd avoid
past d ifficulties. Over the last 10 years,
we have issued 26 reports, identified
sh ipbuild ing best practices, testified before
SOU"0KGAO.-Yl'f9s of ~docl,ffiOfQQOn. ! GA0 18-23SSP Congre ss on several occasio ns, and made 67

NOTE: rl the figU'e above, tie JU'lned fmdrig anoun!s and ship coun1sare tom the Navy's 2007 Loog-Rarge S hiJ:fn.idFg Plan.
The curerit vessel COtlll is tom the Navy's Vess.el Register and f'le i u'ldi"g reoeived represents the Navy S'llf)bulding and ronvetSion
appropriatiC11S. Al h.ndS'IQ nl.fflbers are rl fiscal )Elar 2018 dollar$.

GA0-18-238SP I Navy Shipbuiding Key Fiooings


Reports 257

NEXT STEPS

Next Steps:
Opportunities for Future Improvement

The Navy's tendency to proceed


with shipbuild ing programs before
it has the requisite knowiedge has
resulted in the Navy not achieving .-----------i~ . . . : .• .
,'
its stated goals. The Navy's
approach and the poor acquisition
outcomes that followed-<:ost ,,
..
. .
.
,
growth, schedule delays,
quality issues, and performance
shortfalls-have prevented the ,,
--..
Navy from purchasing ships in the
, ,
quantities and with the capabilities
it planned, and have put its long- ,
range plans at risk.
,,
.
The Navy will rontinue to face
daunting acquisition challenges
over the next decade as it begins , • • • Pa.I t JO yean Next JO yeett
a long-term effort to significantly
increase the size of its fleet
Though the Navy has started to
make some improvements, its construction.Achieving requisite knowledge before starting construction
current approach to shipbuild ing is not a simple goal g iven the other factors that influence shipbuild ing
leaves it at risk of rontinually decisions. ff we t hink of the Navy's shipbuild ing acquisition processes
losing buying power and as merely "broken," then some targeted repairs should easily fix it.
jeopardizes its ability to achieve However, the challenge is greater than that, as the risks associated
its long-range shipbuilding goals. with building ships are implicitly accepted as the cost of getting these
To the extent that the Navy's ships to the fleet as quickly as possible.
ability to achieve a more modem
and larger fleet relies on building The key to overcoming the cycle of cost growth, schedule delays, and
new ship dasses, such as the capability shortfalls in shipbuilding programs is for decision makers
Columbia class submarine and within the Department of Defense, the Navy, and Congress to demand
the new guided missile frigate, that programs be supported by executable business cases. Only when
it is particularly important that decision makers embrace this more disciplined approach to buying
the Navy takes steps to improve ships will acquisition outcomes improve and the needs of the fleet be
the business cases of its consistently met.
new programs before starting

GA0-18-238S PI Navy Shipbuidng Key Findings 25


258 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARYEXAMPLES

X,1Yior Consulting
:i21 Cht1nga.n St reet
lreijing. 10011

Ph one: +86-010-8888

Xavior & I3NO: The Way to Efficiency

Mr. Peter Parker


BNO Education Corporation
123 Tiananmen Road
Beijing, 10010
P.R.China

October 4 11', 2008

Dear Peter,

Thank you for taking the time to d iscuss \Vith us the urgent need of your corporation to
improve efficiency. Having worked for BNO for .six years, I am p leased to see its continued
growth and am excited to be part of it again. My team at Xavior is fully prepared to research
BNO's current inefficiencies and help you determine the best option to address them. We
have developed a comprehensive methodology to work closely with you on the project,
which w ill allow your employees to work w ithout undue intermption.

In our proposal, you w ill find:

• Our understanding of your situation


• Our proposed methodology to study the options
• Our qualifications to conduct the en_gagement
• The benefits you can expect from our participation in the project

As we discussed in last week's meeting, you will receive our projected fees under a separate
cover.

Page 1 of 14
Proposal 25 9

X,wior Consulting
321 Cha:1tgan St reet
Beijing, 10011

Phone: +86--010.8888

Xavior & BNO: The Way to Efficiency

BNO's Unique Culture has Brought Unique Success

Growing from four faculty-founders and 24 students to 700


employees and 17,000 students in 15 years, BNO Education
Corporation is perhaps only one step away from achieving its
m ission: to build the best private educational organization in China.

BNO's mission breeds its unique organizational culture. BNO


believes that a good educational institute should not only teach
students skills but also instill ,.vithin them a certain spirit. This
belief has been built into BNO's credo, which is taken from Martin
Xavior understands Luther King's famous line, "We w ill hew out of the mountain of
BNO's unique culture despair a stone of hope." Following the credo closely, BNO has

and will use it to guide developed a unique, inspiring and humorous teaching style in its
classrooms, whid1 set BNO apart from its competitors. To maintain
the study.
its teaching style, BNO established unique h iring criteria. In
addition to solid academic qualifications, all new employees must
share the same values as the organization. They must be passionate,
inspiring and humorous when they interact with students. Owing
to the strict hiring criteria, BNO's employees are dedicated to the
organization's mission and committed to their work. As a result of
its quality employees, their innovative teaching style, and their
high teaching quality, BNO enjoys an excellent reputation among
college students, whid1 contributes to its dominant market share in
English training market.

Student enroll men ts of BNO's classes have grovvn rapid ly since the
very beginning. The courses you offer have grown from two
(TOEFL and GRE preparation courses) to 39 different English
training courses for various levels of English learners. The

Page 2 of 14
260 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARYEXAMPLES

l :
~ 'r~
VIOR Xavior & I3NO: The Way to Efficiency
X.:avior Consulting
;32.1 Changan St reet
Beijing.
Phone: +86•010--8888
10011

substantial enrollment and revenue growth you have enjoyed in


the past 15 years are illu strated in Figure 1 and Figure 2.

18 25
16
14 20
12
10 15
8
6 10
4
2 5
0
0
1993 1996 1999 2002 2005 2008

Figurel . Student Enrollments (thousands) in Figure 2. Annual Re-venue (millions) of BNO hns
BNO lwve Grown Rapidly Grown Drnmntically

BNO Needs a Solution for its Organizational


Inefficiencies
Again st your consistent record of success, your extensive expansion,
however, has brought inefficiencies into the organization. These
inefficiencies have a historical basis.

Your faculty members have outgrown your support staff members


since the inception of the o rgan ization. When BNO was first
established in 1993, the four founders undertook both te aching
responsibilities and administrative work to reduce expenses.
Althou gh the corporation has grown and the revenue h as increased ,
the tradition has passed on. New support staff have been recruited

Page 3 of 14
Proposal 26 I

X,wior Consulting
321 Cha,,gan Street
Beijing, 10011

Phone: +86--010-8888

Xavior & BNO : The Way to Efficiency

but in a limited number. When student enrollments were smaLI, the


teaching professionals were able to help with administrative work
easily. But as the size of your organization has grown enormously
in recent years, it has become increasing[ y difficult for teachers to
manage their doub le duties and maintain their teaching quality.
BNO's professional
The situation has been worsened since a major program was
staff has outgrown its
introduced last year.
support staff
The new program offers various levels of courses to working
professionals who wish to advance in their careers and increase
their income. Since BNO's students have expanded from college
students to working professionals, the enroLlments have almost
doubled and the number of teaching professionals increased by
50%. However, the support staff and available equipment have
remained virtuaLI y the same (See Figure 3).

800
680
700
600
500
400 340
300
180
200
100
0 4 8
0
1993 1996 1999 2002 2005 2008

■ Support staff ■ Teaching staff

Figure 3. 11,e Growth of Support Staff and Teaching Staff has been /111ba/n11ced.

Page 4 of 14
262 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

l :
~ ~~
VIOR
Xavior Consulting
)21 Changa:,-. St reet
Beijing.
Ph one: +86•010--8888

Xavior & 13NO: The Way to Efficiency


10011

The unbalanced growth of teachers and support staff has caused


inefficiencies, which are manifested in at least four areas:

Job descriptions are excessively blurred


As support staff and teaching professionals are both involved
in the administrative work, the job descriptions for both parties
are excessively blurred. Without clear cut duties, some work is
left undone while others are repeatedly done. Employees have
wasted a lot time and efforts wondering what to do.

Office equipment is far from enough


There's a great shortage of office eqwpment. Six employees
BNO's inefficiencies have to share one computer and 30 of them share one printer.
need urgent attention. Employees are wasting their valuable time queuing to get
documents printed and important emails checked.

Employees are overloaded with administrative work


Both the supports taff and the teaching professionals are
overworked by the unimaginable amount of administrative
work. Excessive workload has resulted in overtime hours,
missed dead lines, exhausted employees, low employee morale
and reduced productivity.

Teaching q11alihJ is compromised


BNO is known for its passionate and inspiring instructions. But
when teachers are overworked and over stressed, it is
impossible for them to maintain a h igh spirit in classrooms to
boost sh1dents' enthusiasm for learning.

Recently, the increasing number of complaints coming from both


students and employees has caught the management team's
attention. As you know quite well, the sihiation needs to be
addressed as soon as possible before it leads to serious damage on
your reputation, loss of student enrollments and h igh employee
turnovers.

Page s of 14
Proposal 263

Xavior Consulting
J21 Changan Sueet
Beijing, 10011

Phone: +86-010,.8888

Xavior & BNO : The Way to Efficiency

The Simple Solutions Won't Work for You

Unfortunately, the simple solution of buying new office equipment


and hiring new support staff won't work, given the organization's
unexpected financial crisis. b1 2007, the US' Educational Testing
Service (ETS) fi led a successful $3,000,000 lawsuit, alleging that you
had violated the copyrights and trademarks relating to the GRE
and TOEFL tests o,.vned by ETS by duplicating and distributing
their test materials w ithout their authorization. Despite of the
financial loss, your market forecast shows that you will be able to
recover in t.vo years' time. Therefore, laying off some of the
professional staff w ill not be a good solution since you will soon be
financially healthy aga in. But in the mean time, you urgently need
Three possible to seek alternatives to improve your efficiency.
solutions to improve
BNO's efficiencies:
hiring temporaries, Xavior Can Help Improve BNO's Efficiency
leasing additional In our meeting last week, we agreed on some possible solutions:
hardware and hiring temporaries, leasing additional hardware, instituting flex -
instituting flex-time. time or some combinations. In order to analyze the available
options and find the best way to improve your current s ituation,
the following questions need to be addressed:

To understand BNO's current performance, we will research


• What are the applicable measures to examine the inefficiencies?
• What is the extent of the inefficiencies against those measures?

To understand the benefits and effects of each option, we will find


out
• What ,.viii be the possib le effects that each option brings to the
corporation?

Page 6 of 14
264 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

Xavior Consulting
321 Changan Street
Beijing. 10011

Phone: +86-010-8888

Xavior & 13NO: The Way to Efficiency

• What impact will each option has on the teaching professionals


and support staff respectively? How w ill each option be
accepted by the employees?
• How soon will each option improve the inefficiencies?
• How much vvill eacl1 option cost?
• What short and long-term benefits will ead1 option bring?

To answer these questi!ons, Xavior Consulting has designed a


methodology to evaluate all possib le options and determine the
best option for improving efficiency. As a resu lt of achieving this
objective, BNO will develop a thorough understanding of the
Keeping BNO's causes and effects of the inefficiencies, gain an insight into each
unique situation in available option, get ready to define a p lan to implement the
mind, Xavior has recommended options and expect rising employee morale and
improved teaching quality.
developed three
principles to guide
the methodology. Xavior's Proposed Methods

Keeping your unique situation in mind, we have developed three


principles to guide our methodology.

• The corporation's daily operations should not be intermpted.


• You w ill provide the guidance for the program and have the
authority over your own business.
• The situation needs to be addressed immediately.

We will conduct our plan with minimal disruption to BNO's daily


operations
As most BNO employees have already mn behind their
schedules and been overloaded with their job responsibili ties,
you need a consulting team who know your personnel and can
conduct their study effectively v.rith minimal dismption to the
employees' daily work.

Page 7 of 14
Proposal 265

X,wior Consulting
321 Cha1\gan Street
Beijing, 10011

Phone: +86--010-8888

Xavior & BNO : The Way to Efficiency

Having worked for six years in BNO, I have maintained


contacts with a great number of your employees and developed
a deep understanding of their concerns. We will use this
knowledge to engage only a limited number of key personnel
in the sh1dy. Moreover, we •,vill publish our questionna ire
online so that i t can be filled out through only a few clicks and
w ithin five minutes. ALI interviews ,,viii be conducted after the
review of the questionnaire responses and will be controlled
w ithin 20 m inutes. As a result, your employees won't have to
extend their work days for the research and the d ismption to
Xavior understands BNO's daily activities can be kept to near-zero.
the urgency of your
We will have you guide our study throughout the project
situation and will
Since you understand your organization best and desire to
have you guide our
provide us guidance during the researd1, you need a partner
study. BNO's daily that could corporate seamlessly w ith you. Therefore, we w ill
operations will not involve you in every step of the study and keep you always at
be interrupted. the top of the situation. Before the execution of the study, we
w ill review the detailed study plan w ith you to incorporate
your suggestions. During the study, we \Viii schedule regul ar
day time meetings, frequent telephone conferences and weekly
working report to inform and discuss w ith you our research
progress. As you are actively engaged throughout the study,
you will be able to guide and maintain a control over every
important e lement of the project.

We u11dersta11d the urget1C1J of your situation


Since you need to take care of your current sih1ation before the
next matricula tion peak when students msh for courses during
their Spring Festival vacation (starting Feb. 2009), you need a
study that coufld produce a decision as soon as possib le.

Xavior is w illing to commit fully to this task immediately and


w ill give you th e top priority throughout the project. TI1e kick-

Page 8 of 14
266 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARYEXAMPLES

l« VIOR
r

' 4
-~

'
Xavior & 13NO: The Way to Efficiency
x~wior Consulting
321 Changa,-. St ree1
Beijing,
Phone: +86-010-8888
10011

off meehng will be scheduled the next day after you authorize
the study. We w ill plan paralle l tasks to m in imize the execuhon
hme w ithout compromising quality. With full commitment and
an experienced team, we are able to reduce the normal time
span of this kind of projects from 8 week s to 6 weeks, which
w ill ,...,in you p recious extra hme for the implementahon of the
recommended option (see Figure 4 for the hmeline of our
methodology).

I
i:fi· i
I
t:.t.:i·
.. ... 1:•·· r=::: c:,.:_: .. ::: • lm!Eilul=mm
.

~( ..... .....
Interview employees
..
-· ..
.. ·+
;:: ::: 1:1:: ::::: 1:: :: ::: 1:: ::: :: :::: • " ""
.. ,,.... I
I

'
Assess options I
::: :::1:1::i: .:1:::: l::i:t::t:::;j::
+- ..... i I·

·t ······t· ...... •··t·•····.-:-;.-:-;:


I
~l~· Prepare final report I
~
.. ~ ~ 11Final Present ation11
-.. - -..... -... .. - -····-
.. ~== :: ~==
,.• t:i:: •:: , ••·
weekly • status calls •

- -- ·- ... I
- -· ·- ~
~.:.r t.:L
·-+ ·••··••-t•• .......................
•-4••·
·•·· ...
Figure 4. TimeTine of Our Methodology

In only six weeks, Xavi or w ill conduct a comprehensive study to


determine the best option for BNO to solve the current
inefficiencies. With your guidance and our understanding of the
organizahon, our plan will be carried out w ithout intermphng the
workday flow and our resu lts w ill be right in line ,...,i th the concerns
of your organizahon.

Page 9 of 14
Proposal 267

Xavior Consulting
321 Changan St reet
Beijing, 10011

Phone: +86--010-8888

Xavior & BNO: The Way to Efficiency

Xavior's Qualifications

Xavior has diverse capabilities to take the challenge. You w ill


benefit from our excellent qualifications listed as the foLlowings:

• We can address the situation w ith insider's knowledge and


outsider's objectivity.
• We are able to build up a close partnership between BNO and
Xavior.
• We have an e xperienced and hand-selected team to serve BNO's
best interest.

X avior can address the situatiott with ittsider's knowledge and


Xavior has both outsider's objectivity
insider's knowledge My past h istory w ith BNO wi ll offer an insider's viewpoint to the
and outsider's consulting team. We understand the stmcture of your organization
as well as its culture and politics. Our knowledge w ill enable us to
objectivity ...... Xavior
design the best study for BNO that ,;,,ill be effective, time-saving
can work seamlessly and cause the least d ismptions to your business.
with BNO.
As an outsider, we will also be able to offer an objective perspective.
BNO is a giant organization, d ifferent units of which have clifferent
concerns. Our outsider standing can help us draw a full picture of
the whole situation and take d ifferent perspectives into
consideration. At th e end of the study, you •..viii have a credible
report that answers to the needs of d ifferent organization tmits.

Xavior ca11 build up a close part11ership betweett BN O and Xavior


To build a dose parb1ership, you need a consulting team that
understands your corporation and excel s in communication skills.
Having worked for BNO for six years, I have known well and

Page 10 of 14
268 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES


xlvio1t
X,wior Consulting
J.21 Chal'1gan Street
Beijing,
Phone: +86-010--8888

Xavior & BNO: The Way to Efficiency


10011

maintained good communication with many of your employees.


Besides, all three of our team members are experienced in tead1ing
and ,Nill be able to communicate effectively with your teaching
professionals.

In addition, we have done similar studies for 8 organizations


similar to yours and have come up with a mu lti-layer
communication strategy that vvill enable successful corporation
between us. This strategy will keep you well informed and actively
engaged in the process.

Xavior has the right Xavior has an experienced and hand-selected team to serve your
team to serve best interest
BNO's best interest.
Li Li, Ph.Din communication and CEO of Xavior
I worked for BNO from 1998 to 2004. I have witnessed the
growth of BNO and the beginning of its current inefficiencies.
My knowledge of your corporation and my understanding of
your culture w ill be an asset to this research.

Clark Kent, Ph.Din option research


Dr. Kent has a Ph.Din Harvard, 10 years of teaching
experience in Cornell and 20 years of experience in option
consulting. He w ill use his experience and expertise to
develop reliable criteria for BNO to determine the most
effective solution.

Bruce Wayne, Ph.D in edncation manage,nent and efficiency studies


Dr. Wayne had run a successful private educational
organization for 15 years before he decided to work as a
consultant and contribute his knowledge and experience to
help other organizations get through hard times. He
understands well the problems of educational organizations.
His experience will help expedite the research process as he
knows very wein where to look into.

Page 11 of 14
Proposal 269

Xavior Consulting
321 Cha:1\gan Street
Beijing, 10011

Phone: +86--010.8888

Xavior & 13NO: The Way to Efficiency

BNO's Benefits from the Project

As a resu lt of our c,ollaborative efforts in the project, you can expect


the following benefits:

• You can receive the maximum benefit from the study in the
shortest time possible.
• You w ill be fully ready to embark on the planning process to
solve the cunent inefficiencies.
• You can expect rejuvenated employee morale immediately.

You can receive the maximum benefit from the study in the shortest
time possible.
We will dedicate our excellent team quickly to begin the
project immediately after your approval. With our
commitment, expertise and knowledge of your corporation,
BNO will enjoy the
you w ill have a best option in hand to resolve inefficiencies
maximum benefit in only six weeks. As our efficient p lan will cut the normal
from the study in time span of the sh1dy from e ight weeks to six, you have the
the shortest time two extra weeks to work out a plan for implementation. 111e
possible. saved time v.rill eventually result in financial benefits that
help you recover from your temporary financial crisis.

You will be fully ready to embark 011 the planning process to solve
the current inefficiencies.
As you v.ri ll p lay an integra l part in the project, Xavior and
you will proceed together with the study and bring it to a
successful end. At the end of the sixth week, you can expect
a thorough comprehensive report that prepares you to make
a sound decision on the best solution for the current
problems. The report will present you the advantages and
disadvantages of each possible option in measurable terms
and our conclusive recommendation of the best solution.
Our report will objectively provide a whole picture of the

Page 12 of 14
270 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARYEXAMPLES

Xavior Consulting
32.1 Changan St reet
Beijing. 10011

Ph one: +86~010•8888

Xavior & 13NO: The Way to Efficiency

situation while reflecting the true concems from your


supporting staff and teaching professionals. With our
insider's knowledge and outsider's perspective combined in
Employees' morale the report, you will have recommendations that are both
credib le and acceptable to all organizational units.
will be rejuvenated.

You can expect rejuvenated employee morale immediately.


During the study, you can expect near-zero ctisruption in
your daily operations and your business will ma intain as
usual. Your employees wi Ll save valuable time to devote to
their own job responsib ilities. Since they 1.vill be reassured
that the situation is being addressed and a positive change
will take place in the near future, your employees will be
less worried and be able to concentrate on their work. As a
result, you will see a rise in employee morale, which will in
tum result in better teaching quality and student satisfaction.

Thank you for considering Xavior for this engagement. We are confident that Xavior is the
right consulting team for the project. We look forward to working with you and contributing
to your continued success.

Sincerely yours,

Li Li, CEO
Xavior Consulting

Page 13 of 14
Proposal 27 I

Xavior Consulting
321 Changan Street
Beijing, 10011

Phone: +86-010-8888

Xavior & IlNO: The Way to Efficiency

Page 14 of 14
272 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

How To:
Use the MSR Water Filter to Produce Clean Water

INTRODUCTION

Purpose:
The following instructions show how to properly assemble, operate, store, and use the MSR
Sweetwater Microfi lter Water Filter. By the end of these instructions you should have clear,
clean, potable water.

Caution: Failure to follow these instructions could result in damage to the water filter.
Warning: Failure to follow these instructions oould lead to the oonsumption of unsafe water,
which can lead to sickness or death.

Contents:
1. Selecting Water Site ........ ......... ..... . .... .. ... ......... .... .. .... ... ... .......... (Page 2)
2. Assembling Water Purifier .......... ... ......... ...... .. .... ............ ...............(Page 4)
3. Correct Operation of Water Purifier. .... . .... ...... ... .. .. .... ... ... ...... ... .... ...(Page 8)
4. Cleaning the water Filter........................• ...................................... (Page 12)
5. Disassembling the water Filter. ... ... .... .. .... ..... ...... ............ ..... ........... (Page 15)
6. Conclusion..................................... ............. ......... ...... .... ........... (Page 18)

Parts and Tools Required:


- 1 MSR Sweetwater Microfilter Water Filter
- 1 cleaning brush
- 1 container for the clean water
- 1 proper water site as defined below
Instructions 273

SELECT ING WATER SITE

Caution: If possible, select a stream or lake to ensure clean water.


Warning : Do not attempt to filter from toxic looking water; the water filter may not purify
and sickness or death can occur.

Step 1: Choose a water site with


running, clear, and calm water like a
stream or lake. This allows for the
cleanest water.
274 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

Step 2 : Avoid rivers and standing


bodies of water. They often contain
harmful bacteria and parasites.

Step 3 : Choose a spot where the water


is at least 4 inches deep, so the pump
does not suck up rocks.
Instructions 275

ASSEMBLING WATER PURIFIER

Warning : Make sure to follow all steps carefully or you could damage the water pump.

When assembling the water purifier, there are four important components: the red
swivel top, the black knob (for locking), the black handle, and the red dispenser cap.

Step 1: Remove from packaging.

Caution: Remove slowly; removing too


quickly or pulling too hard could result in
ripping the packaging and/or damaging
the pump.

Step 2: Hold pump by handle and


central canister as shown. Knob may be
facing up (as in picture) or down
depending on how previous user locked
it
276 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

Step 3: Pull out black knob by twisting It


from the upward position to the
horizontal and sliding It out so it is
extended as shown.

Warning: Be careful to not pull too hard


or else you could damage the knob,
which would make the filter unusable.

Step 4: Slide black handle into the


groove that was formed when the black
knob was removed and line it up with
the holes in the swivel top.
Instructions 277

Step 5: Push black knob back through


holes to connect the handle.

Caution: It is critical you line the gap in


the handle with the gaps in the swivel
top, or else knob will not move.

1,,"1
.. · -.
Step 6: Twist to lock in place

~// .__: L ~
~

.- '· ~ - ~ .
278 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

Step 7: Twist red dispenser cap


completely off of water dispenser
nozzle.

Caution: If you don't twist the cap off,


the water will back up, not allowing you
to dispense purified water.

You are now ready to begin pumping water. Look to the next section for information
regarding pumping correctly and tips to maximize purification.
Instructions 279

CORRECT OPERATION OF PUMP

Caution: Do not pump up rocks or dirt. This will damage and break the filter.

Step 1: Place black tube into water as


shown. Do not let the white tube fall into
the unclean water.
280 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARYEXAMPLES

Step 2: Adjust floater on black tube, so


the filter is below water but above rocks.
Instructions 28 I

Step 3: Place unscrewed cap directly on


water container as shown. Note: the cap
has several different notches which
allow varying sizes of water bottles.
282 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

Step 4 : Pump slowly at a steady pace. If


there is much resistance, air bubbles
have formed. Go back to step 2. Note: it
is recommended but not necessary to
have a second person to hold the
container and to switch
Instructions 28 3

CLEANING FILTER

Caution: Regularly cleaning the filter is crucial to the filter properly and efficiently
filtering bacteria and contaminates.

Step 1: Ensure that the pump hand is


depressed and in the lowered position.

Warning: if the pump arm is not in the


correct position the filter mechanism
may become damaged or the arm will
prevent further disassembly.

Step 2: Firmly hold the main black body


in one hand and twist the red upper
section until there is clear separation of
the two components.
284 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

Step 3 : Using the provided clean brush


clean the inside of the filter by inserting
the brush into the filter and scrubbing
until clean and no more debry is visible.

WARNING: ensure that the intake tube


is not punctured by the metal point of
the cleaning brush.
Instructions 285

Step 4 : Reconnect the upper and lower


sections of the pump by inserting the
upper section inside of the lower section
and then screwing them back together
until the connection is firm and snug.
286 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

DISASSEMBLING THE WATER FILTER

Step 1: Ensure that the pump hand is


depressed and in the lowered position.

Warning: if the pump arm is not in the


correct position the filter mechanism
may become damaged or the arm will
prevent further disassembly.

Step 2 : Rotate the screw to the


unlocked position.
Instructions 287

Step 3: Extend the screw connecting


the pump lever to the main filter body.

Step 4: Lift the lever arm and clear it


from the pumping bolt mount.
288 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

Step 5 : Reinsert the screw so that It is


no longer extended.

Warning: Packing the pump with the


screw still extended my cause it to break
and not correctly re-attach with the
pump arm during the next use.

Step 6 : Reattach the water dispensing


cap using a twisting motion.
Instructions 289

Ste p 7: Using the provide bag, Holding


all of the components in one hand and
insert them into the bag.

Step 8: Coil the tubes an d also pack


them into the bag.

Step 9: Zinch the baggie closed.


r
290 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

CONCLUSION

Congratulations!
You are now the proud owner of delicious, clean,
drinkable water. You should now know how to properly
assemble, operate, store, and use the MSR Sweetwater
Microfilter Water Filter.

Finished Product:
After following the above steps properly, you should
have obtained clean potable water as shown:

Common Mistakes and their Solutions


If pumping become very d ifficult very quickly:
- Your pump is likely sucking up dirt.
If pumping is irregular and pump arm tries to snap back:
- Your pump is likely sucking up air.
If pumping the handle becomes difficult :
- Clean the filter as instructed on page #12.
If your water looks unsafe to drink (i.e dirty or infested)
- Clean the f ilter, consider selecting a new water site, and try again.
Technical Descri tions 29 I

How Google Assistant Works


Google Assistant is your very own peisonal assistant. It can tell you if you need to bring an umbrella, help
you fmd pic tures from your last vacation, even turn off t he lights in your home, but how does it work?

Capture
To iiitiate Google Assistant. you si"n_ply t alk to it.
Compute
•··•
Hi, how can I he~?

Once the Assistant determiies what yoo\e said. it sends yoU'


You say "OK Google..and then ask )'OU' question or 1espons.e to Google's servers. The servers n.n Google's search
give a comnand. The Assistant will then capture a algorithm on }'Ol.l" response and then send the top result bad.
small recording. to t he user to be displayed.

Analyze
The Assistant captures your voice as a soood wa\'e time forecast
and then breaks those waves into phonemes,. or the 43'
small sou,ds that make '4l the English language. weather
the
Thefeare 44 phonemes in the English language.
46
""
difference
Compare
The Assistant then perfom1sa statistical analysis.,
wh what's '"
my "'
de-fintion
vdlere it predicts what sou,ds and wads should
oome next.It determines 'M'lat you said by '" "~ "'
our
'"
OO"l)aring the recorded sound waw with 'M"lat 0
words are most probable to come next
(See Diai;,am on Rg1t)
'" "

H OW DOES THE BOD POD WORK?


*~ WHaT IS IT ?
The Bod Podiso mochi nethot measures
body com position (fat vs. lean body moss)
With moss and volume determined.
density con be calc ulated using den sity •
P=V

w
using air displacement. mo.ss/volume. A low density indicates
high body fat a nd o high density indicates
S T ePl low bod~ lot_

A n accurate electro nic scale. located


o utside the c ha m bers. measures t he
S T eP4
-------- ii[
moss of t he sub,iect. Equations ore used to figure t he
precise pro porr10ns of body fat and
lean body moss. Results ore g·rven to
t he subject.
The diaphragm (as seen i n t he image)
moves in a nd o ut to c ha nge oir pressure WH'e:I DO IT? .
inside t he test c ha m ber. The amount of
pressure c ha nge with t his movement
re flects how muc h air is in the test cham ber.
Mii11M Body com positlOn is o ne of the best
i ncf1cotors of overall health a nd
Using t his technique, 0·1r volume is measured lo ngevity. High body fat is o r"tsk factor
for ma ny diseases. Being aware of
in the e m pty test c ha m ber a nd then again 800 PO0 MACHINE
with the subject inside t he c hamber. The body com position a llows for healt hy
difference in air volume between t he two l"ifestyle modrficotion s w hen necessary.
measureme nts represents the subject's
h!1ps/f,.,,....-w.ea.irwd..i/~ts.,;ig;i~/?fJ'Kl'JE,20Sp,"ng/494•'JE.20IO%nng/&;,dW.20Po::l'JE,X.,b'JE,20br1f.20~0,.202010.p;lf
body volume. hl~l/'•••••"""perfei:1!~....._cq/perlectli'Mu~grur>poge/bo::I p:id
292 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

IHl:l~f.:.1llJ~Ul~tl'jl II

Running head: KEYSTROKE ANALYSIS

Authenticating User Identity via Keystroke Analysis

Anonymous Student

Brigham Young University

Author Note

Omespondence concerning this review should be directed to Anonymous Student, I 00 Green

Tree Lane, LaGrange, GA, 30240.

Contact: anony111oussn1dent@gmail.com
Literature Review 29 3

KEYSTROKE ANALYS IS 2

Abstract

This article reviews the literature surrounding keystroke analysis in order to evaluate the

plausibility of its use in commercial systems. Keystroke analysis reinforces password protected

systems by examining users' typing patterns to identify intruders. Research suggests that

keystroke analysis could effectively protect computer systems when used in conjunction with

traditional passwords. Scientists have found that neural networks provide near-perfect

identification results when di graph latency and keystroke duration are used to quantify a user's

typing patterns. While these studi es have delivered promising resu lts, there are several issues

with the experiments that must be addressed before definitive conclusions may be drawn . In all

the studies conducted, the sample size that researchers have used is far below the size that real

systems must handle. Also, researchers have not coll ected data using consistent methods, so it is

difficult to compare the relative effectiveness of di fferent algorithms. After addressing these

issues of methodology, this article discusses th,e requirements that must be met by keystroke

analysis systems in order to be accepted for commercial use. The article ends by highli ghting a

few of the real-world appli cations of keystroke analysis that have been suggested by researchers.

Keywords: biometrics, authentication, keystroke dynamics, keystroke analysis, identity

verification, security, password, neural nel\vorks, pattern recognition


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KEYSTROKE ANALYSIS 3

Authenticating User Identity via Keystroke Analysis

As computers are an integral part of our society, the need to protect the information

stored within them is paramount. Traditionally, these computer resources have been protected by

usernames and passwords. PasS\vords, however, can be stolen and used many times before the

owner realizes the security breach. Frequent news about security breaches is a testament to the

ineffectiveness of this solution. This security issue has led researchers to investigate alternative

methods for authenticating computer users. One such authentication method, call ed keystroke

analysis, uses computer programs to study typing patterns in an attempt to identify the user.

This article a ddresses the issue of user authentication by evaluating the effectiveness of

keystroke analysis. Although more conclusive research needs to be con ducted, keystroke analysis

has proven to be an effective method for determining user identity. This article will begin by

analyzing which typing factors provide the best information to discriminate between users. Then

it w ill offer a comparison of the several algorithms used to identify users, including traditional

pattern matching algorithms and neural networks. It will describe the methodology used by

researchers in this field and explain how their experiments must be improved in order to provide

more conclusive research. It will end with a di scussion about the criteria needed to accept this

solution for commercial use, and the possible real-world appli cations for th is technology once it

has reached maturity.

Measurement Selection

Soon after the invention of the telegraph, operators noticed that they cou ld discern the

identity of those at the other end of the line simply by listen ing to their tapping style (Bryan &

Harter, 1897). They realized that the rhythm of an operator's tapping forms a unique and

identifiable style, similar to how the spacing and shaping of hand-written letters creates a distinct
Literature Review 29 5

KEYSTROKE ANALYS IS 4

signature. With the advent of the computer, scientists di scovered that the same physiological

characteristics which influence hand-written signatures and telegraph tapping also detennine a

person's typing style on a keyboard (Joyce & Gupta, 1990).

Researchers have used several di fferent typing characteristics to d etennine typing styles:

typing speed, keystroke duration, and di graph l atency. Typing speed is the average speed at

which a typist enters text on a keyboard and keystroke duration is the length of t ime between

when a key is pressed and released. Digraph latency is the amount time it takes for a user to press

two specific keys in succession. For example, in the word "fish" the digraphs are "Fl," " IS," and

"SH." The digraph latencies in that word would be the length of time it takes for a user to type an

"F'' followed by an " I," an "I" followed by an "S," and an "S" followed by an " H."

Init ial research in keystroke analysis focused on typing speed and di graph latency as

discriminators. But, in 1988, Leggett & Williams determined that typing speed alone cou ld not

be used to distinguish benveen users, so they discontinued further research w ith that indicator.

Since that study was published, no further experiments have been conducted using that typing

characteristic.

Scholars' opinions differ as to whether digraph latency or keystroke duration identifies

users better. Monrose & Rubin (2000), Leggett et al. ( 199 1), and Umphress & Willi ams ( 1985)

all argue in favor of using digraph latencies for identi fication. However, Mahar et a l. (I 995)

argue that digraph latency is not the ideal ident ifier because it obscures useful information.

Mahar et al. claim that the digraph latency is actually a linear combination of two orthogonal

components: keystroke duration and time between keystrokes. They believe that if these two

components were studied separately, discrimina ting power would be increased.


296 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

KEYSTROKE ANALYSIS 5

Contrary to Monrose & Rubin, Leggett et al., and Umphress & William s's cla im, Obaidat

& Sadoun ( I 997) found that keystroke duration was a more effective indi cator than digraph

latency. Though Obaidat & Sadoun found that keystroke duration was superior to digraph

latency, they join Mahar et al. in favor of using the tvvo components together. Besides the

increased computational power required to analyze multiple indi cators, there are no other

downsides to comparing both indicators together. Computational complexity may have been a

factor back when the studi es were conducted, but technology has advanced to a point that it is no

longer an issue. In that light, the analysis of both di graph latency and keystroke duration should

be utilized to ensure the most accurate results.

Identification Strategy

Once the keystroke data has been collected, it must be processed by a computer program

to determine the identity of the user. As the field of keystroke analytics has developed, two

general classes of identi fication strategies have developed: tradit ional pattern recogniti on

algorithms, and neural networks. Traditional pattern recognition algorithms generally use

statistics or linear algebra to find the " distance" of a particu lar test sample from a reference

profile. They then accept or reject the sample based on a distance threshold. While traditional

pattern recognition algorithms are based on straightforward math, neural networks are computer

systems designed to mimic the way a human brain processes information. They are "taught" w ith

reference data in order to learn what patterns should be recognized. Then they accept or reject

matches based on the learned programming of their nel\vorks.

Pattern Recognition

Keystroke ana lysis studies began w ith rudimentary pattern recognition algorithms. The

algorithm used by Umphress & Williams ( I 985) simply compares the average digraph latencies
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KEYSTROKE ANALYS IS 6

of the reference w ith the test sample. It then calculates the percentage of sample di graphs that are

w ithin 0.5 standard deviations of the reference. If 60% or more digraphs pass, then the user is

accepted, otherwise, the user is rejected. This algorithm was criticized by Joyce & Gupta ( 1990)

due to the algorithm's oversimpli fication of the process. Joyce & Gupta c laim that the algorithm

wou ld unintentionaUy accept test samples where a few d igraph latencies di ffer significantly from

the reference profile, but make up less than 40% of the total di graphs. In their experiments, Joyce

& Gupta attempt to fix this issue by calculating the Euclidean di stance behveen reference and

test vectors. They found that this method provides a more accurate result because it takes into

account all the digraph latencies at once. Later research by Monrose & Rubin (2000) and Obaidat

& Sadoun ( 1997), showed that Bayesian classifiers were the most effective pattern recognit ion

algorithms for keystroke analysis.

Neural Networks

With the development of neural nehvorks, typing identification dramatically improved.

Cho, Han, Han, & Kim (2000) foun d that a speci fie type of neural nel\vork called multilayer

perceptrons (MLP) performed statistically better than standard pattern recogn ition algorithms. In

1997, Obaidat & Sadoun reported near perfect recognition results using another technique called

radial basis fi.inction nehvorks (RBFN). Because of these results, they c laim that neural nehvork

techniques are highly p lausible for commercial use. However, neural networks still aren't the

perfect solution to the problem. Monrose & Rubin (2000) point out that the neural nel\Vorks used

by Cho et al. and Obaidat & Sadoun must be retrained each time a new user is introduced into

the system. They assert that this lim itation makes the system unfeasib le for commercia l use

because it would be prohibitively expensive to constantly retrain the system. Furthermore, C lark

& Fumell (2007) claim that neural nehvorks are fickle systems, so researchers must be carefi.i l to
298 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

KEYSTROKE ANALYSIS 7

give them proper reference data. Improper data could rend er the neural networks' resu lts

unusable.

The current body of research shows that neural networks are more effective

discriminators than tradi tional pattern recognition algorithms. However, neural networks still

face several issues that must be resolved before they can be applied commercially.

Experimental Methodology

As scientists study the effectiveness of keystroke analysis, they must d ecid e how to

conduct their research. The strength of the conclusions that they draw from their research relies

heavily on the methodology that they employ. In order to evaluate the validity of their

conclusions, th is artic le will analyze the procedures that the researchers used to study keystroke

analyt ics. It will look at l\vo specific issues that weaken their conclusions: insufficient sample

sizes, and inconsistent data collection methods.

lnsuflicient Samples

Keystroke analysis focuses on a computer's ability to differentiate bel\veen the keystroke

patterns of di fferent users. When the number of users in a system increases, it becomes more

di fficult for the computer to identify the correct typist. For example, it is much easier fora

computer to identify a typist from a group of3 people than it is to identify a typist from a group

of I 000 people. Since real-li fe systems typically contain hundreds or thousands of users,

scientists need to collect infonnation about many different people's typing patterns to ensure that

the software is run tmder realistic conditions. Ideally, researchers would conduct their

experiments on samples that are comparable in size to the groups that would be encountered in

real-life applications.
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Seeing that studies in this field of research are particularly sensitive to the number of

participants involved, it is regrettable that all of the studies that have been performed thus far

have had a sample size of fewer than 200 users (Peacock, Ke, & Wilkerson, 2004). One of the

first experiments on keystroke analysis was conducted by Gaines, Lisowski, Press, & Shapiro

(1980) while working for Rand Corporation. Since this experiment was one of the first inquiries

of its kind, limited resources were allocated for the research, so the researchers simply used 7

secretaries who were working for Rand Corporation at the time. Several years later, Umphress &

Williams (1985) researched the effectiveness of keystroke analytics using 17 experienced

programmers as test subjects. Recognizing the need for a larger and more varied sample, Leggett

& Williams (1988) oversaw additional research on the topic. They performed an experiment that

was similar to the one performed by Umphress & Williams, but this time in cluded 36

participants w ith varying degrees of typing proficiency. Their experiment was an improvement

over previous research, but it was still a small sample size. In 2014 , Ahmed & Traore performed

a keystroke analysis experiment w ith on ly 53 participants. This is just one of the many studies

conducted in recent years using a small sample size, showing that researchers have not made

sign ificant improvements to this aspect of their experiments.

Although Ahmed & Traore's work used more participants than initial studi es, a group of

53 people still does not accurately represent the conditions under which actual software would

operate. A real-life system for authenticating users wou ld need to discriminate between typing

patterns of severa l thousand individuals - a markedly more di fficu lt chall enge. Because no

research on this subject has been perfonned w ith a sample size approaching realistic conditions,

it is difficult to draw accurate conclusions about the effectiveness of keystroke analytics in real

systems.
300 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARYEXAMPLES

KEYSTROKE ANALYSIS 9

Inconsistent Method s

While insufficient sample size li mits the conclusions that scientists c an draw about the

effectiveness of keystroke analysis, inconsistent methodology among scientists makes it di fficult

to compare their results. Research in the area of keystroke analytics has been largely

unstandardized, so each group of scientists has imp lemented their own procedures for conducting

experimenl~. This nonconform ity has generated confusion among scholars in the field and has

cast doubt on the comparative effectiveness of di fferent analysis methods. We w ill now look at

how the inconsistencies in researchers' data collection methods complicates the comparison of

results.

The general procedure for data collection in keystroke analysis experiments can be

divided into two parts: the gathering of reference data and the gathering of test d ata. To gather

both reference and test data, researchers ask participants to type text on computer keyboards

while a program records the exact time at which ea<:h key is pressed. The reference data is used

to build a "reference profile" or "reference signature" that uniquely identifies each user, while

the test data is compared w ith the different signatures to determine the identity of the typist.

The variations in data collection methods arise from the different lengths of ti me that

participants produce the text. TI1e length of t ime that users participated in each experiment di ffers

immensely: some experiments were conducted in a single session, whereas others took

part icipants almost a year to complete. Whil e study ing the efficacy of keystroke analyti cs on

cellphones, Clark & Furnell (2007) had participants type 30 telephone numbers in a single

sess ion. These entries were later separated for reference and testing. After analyzing their data,

Clark & Furne II rea lized that it would be more realistic if participants entered text messages

across several sessions, so they conducted a second experiment and included it in the same
Literature Review 30 I

KEYSTROKE ANALYS IS 10

article. In their second experiment, they had participant5 enter 30 text messages during the course

of three sessions that were separated by an unspecified length of time. Instead of remedying a

flaw in their experiment, Clark & Fumell ended up complicating the issue even further. Their

article presents two different sets of data, telephone numbers and text messages, which were

recorded using different methodologies.

In the study conducted by Joyce & Gupta ( 1990), researchers asked participants to

provide reference samples and test samples in a single session. In "Keystroke dynamics as a

biometric for authentication" Monrose & Rubin (2000) question the reliability of Joyce &

Gupta's results, claiming that the recording of data in a single session does not provide realistic

figures since a user's typing dynamics would change between sessions. To remedy this issue in

their own experiment, Monrose & Rubin allowed participants to provid e samples at their own

convenience over the course of 11 months. This flexib le, extended test time ensured that the data

for Monrose & Rubin's experiment captured natural variations that would occur in a user's

typing patterns during acntal use. While these changes in Mon rose & Rubin's methodology

provide more meaningfol data, it becomes di fficult to compare the effectiveness of the two

solutions.

Timing variations exist in all of the li terature surrounding keystroke analysis. Therefore,

it is di fficult to determine whether results vary because of di ssimilar methodology or better

algorithms. If researchers standardized their data collection methods or based their research on a

common data set, it would be easier to verify the relative effectiveness of each algorithm.

Accepta11ce Criteria

Different experimental procedures in combination with different identification algorithms

have produced results that vary dramatically. The results of these experiments are a measure of
302 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

KEYSTROKE ANALYSIS II

how effect ively an algorithm recognizes users. Recognizing a user w ith traditional security

solutions such as passwords is simple: i f the password is correct, the user is valid. Keystroke

analyt ics, however, is not a traditional security solution. Un like passwords, keystroke analytics

involves a level of uncertainty inherent to any biometric security solution. Through the use of

recognition a lgorithms, the computer assigns a percentage to each match, specifying its level of

confidence in the match. Because the computer can never be completely sure of the identity of

the user, a possibility for errors is introduced: the computer could accidentally let an imposter

pass authentication, or an authorized user could cause a false alarrn and be rejected from the

system. For a security solution based on keystroke a nalysis to be effective, it must m inimize both

the imposter pass rate (IPR) and the false a larrn rate (FAR). Umphress & Williams (I 985)

explain that since false alarms b lock legi timate users from the system, the FAR describes the

amount that users will be frustrated when using the technique. But the IPR is an even more

important factor because it describes how easil y an intruder can break into the system.

The initial experiments perfonned by Umphress & Williams ( 198 5) produced a FAR of

12% and an IPR of6%. However, by sli ghtly modifying the recognit ion a lgorithm, Leggett &

Williams ( 1988) further reduced the FAR to 5.5% and the IPR to 5%. Whil e Leggett & Williams

claim that their results provide sufficient evidence that keystroke analytics is a v iable security

solution, others disagree. Joyce & Gupta (1990) argue that since IPR represents a breach in

security, 5% is completely unacceptable. They state that a system must have an IPR well below

I% to be even considered for actua l use. Through their use of neural networks, Cho, Han, Han,

& K im (2000) achieved a perfect IPR of0% and an average FAR of 1% which fits w ithin the

parameters of acceptability established by Joyce & Gupta.


Literature Review 30 3

KEYSTROKE ANALYS IS 12

Researchers in the field of keystroke analytics appear to be more wi lling to accept the

technology than others. While Joyce & Gupta ( 1990) claim that an IPR of I% is acceptable for

commercial use, The European Standard for Access Control requires that security systems based

on biometrics have an IPR of less than 0.00 I% (Gunetti & Picardi, 2005). Furthermore, although

keystroke analytics is unobtrusive to users' workflows, most employees do not approve of its

use. In a survey conducted by Deane, Barre Ile, Henderson, & Mahar ( 1995), keystroke analysis

was the least accepted security identification method, lagging behind fingerprint, voice, and

retina analysis methods. They speculate that employees di sapprove of keystroke analysis because

employees fear that their employers w ill use its keylogging capabilities to electron ically mon itor

their performance.

As the field of keystroke analytics matures, researchers continue to craft algorithms that

reduce the IPR and FAR of their systems. However, effective a lgorithms are only part of the

issue. In order for keystroke analysis to be accepted as a viable security solution in commercial

systems, users must overcome their fear of the technology.

Real-world Applications

User Authentication

With the increased effectiveness of keystroke analytics, researchers are imagining

innovative ways that this technology can be used. The most obvious application of the

technology is to protect confidential systems from intruders. In "Keystroke dynamics as a

biometric for authentication," Monrose & Rubi n (2000) propose a system that analyzes typists'

keystrokes as they input their usemame an d password. Access is granted if both their credentials

and typing patterns match that of the user. While this system has been suggested by many

proponents of keystroke analyt ics, it has received criticism from security experts. Countering this
304 APPENDIXC: SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMPLES

KEYSTROKE ANALYSIS 13

suggestion, Obaidat & Sadoun ( 1997) point out a major flaw: in order to compare the client's

typing style with that of the original user, a databas•e must store the user's reference profi le.

Although this reference profile wouldn 't be the password itsel f, the information it would contain

provides hints about the user's password. Ironically, ifa hacker gained access to this database

containing keystroke information, it would constitute a major breach in security. Therefore,

Oba idat & Sadoun suggest that systems either just analyze the typing of the username, or require

the user to enter additional text such as their first and last name or a random phrase for additional

analysis.

Besides the issue of security, keystroke analysis for user authentication faces questions

concerning usability. One of the major sellin g points for keystroke analysis is the promise that it

provides increased security with minimal intmsion in the user's worktlow (Peacock, Ke, &

Wilkerson, 2004). However, if users are required to enter additional text during the login process

like Obaidat & Sadoun suggested, then keystroke analysis loses its appeal. Gunetti & Picardi

(2005) claim that users will ultimately reject the technology if they feel inconvenienced by these

requirements. Researchers still have not reached a consensus on the best way to handle this issue.

User Supervision

While researchers are divided about using keystroke analysis for login authentication,

there is a general consensus that it could be used to supervise computer operators in high-stakes

jobs. Keystroke analysis measures a person's typing behavior to determine their identity. Since

people's behavior depends on their emotional and psychological state, researchers hypothesize

that typing patterns could reveal the psychological state of users. Joyce & Gupta (1990) suggest

that continuous keystroke analysis could be used to determine whether a computer user is under

the influence of alcohol or dmgs, and Monrose & Rubin (2000) propose monitoring keystroke
Literature Review 305

KEYSTROKE ANALYS IS 14

patterns to determine when a user is getting drowsy or distracted. Th is could be useful for air-

traffic controllers or similar jobs where a small lapse of judgement due to drowsiness could have

catastrophic consequences.

Conclusion

As the world becomes increasingly more di gital, it is important that we develop methods

to properly protect our computer systems and d ata. Although passwords are the most common

security protocol in use today, they alone have proved to be ineffective at protecting systems

alone. Studies indicate that keystroke analysis in conjunction with tradi tional passwords could

effectively protect systems, bolstering security against intruders. Researchers have found that

digraph latency combined with keystroke duration provides the best information for identifying

users. They have also found that MLP and RBFN neural networks outperform traditional pattern

recognition a lgorithms at identifying users - achieving near perfect recognition. Although

researchers are universally endorsing keystroke analysis as a form of security, they must increase

their sample sizes and conduct more consistent experiments before they can draw dependable

conclusions. Once these issues have been resolved, keystroke analysis could be the security

protocol of the future.


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KEYSTROKE ANALYSIS 15

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