My Parents – Stephen Spender

My parents kept me from children who were rough

Who threw words like stones and wore torn clothes
Their thighs shown through rags. They ran in the street
And climbed cliffs and stripped by the country streams.

I feared more than tigers their muscles like iron

Their jerking hands and their knees tight on my arms
I feared the salt coarse pointing of those boys
Who copied my lisp behind me on the road.

They were lithe, they sprang out behind hedges

Like dogs to bark at my world. They threw mud
While I looked the other way, pretending to smile
I longed to forgive them but they never smiled.

ANALYSIS

Spender could be using this poem either as a criticism or praise for his parents for protecting
him against children in his neighbourhood who were over-rambunctious and would make fun
of him or bully him since he suffered from some disability as a child, having had a
problematic foot and a speech impediment. The poem, does however, have universal
application and relevance.

The poem is divided into three stanzas and does not have a regular rhyme structure,
probably used by the poet to emphasise the irregular and harsh treatment he had been a
victim of through the treatment meted out to him by other children. The language is simple
and straightforward, which makes the content easily understandable. Also, it enables the
speaker to address a younger audience in language which is understood and to which
such an audience can relate to, thus creating an awareness of the type of harmful abuse
they might knowingly, or unknowingly, dispense to their targets or victims.

It is clear that the speaker distances himself from these 'rough' children - the constant use of
'they' and 'their' makes it clear that the speaker does not share a close relationship with or
have any attachment to, these children.

The speaker resents these other children for mocking him: 'who threw words like stones'
- their words are hurtful. However, it is clear that these children were either not as
economically well-cared for or that they were careless since they 'wore torn clothes'
and 'their thighs showed through rags'. It is as if the speaker, in defence, adopts a disdainful
and sneering attitude towards the children who are hurting him.

They ran in the street and climbed cliffs and stripped by country streams' - things the
speaker was obviously not allowed to do by his very protective parents.

The speaker was terribly afraid of these other children and feared their strength 'more than
tigers'. Their muscles were 'like iron' which implies that they were strong because of all the
physical activity or that they came from a rough neighbourhood and were hardened by their
harsh lives. They obviously bullied the speaker, for their hands were 'jerking', a reference to
their constant pulling and shoving and reaching out to him. 'Their knees tight on my arms'
makes it painfully obvious that they physically abused him.

He was afraid of the constant teasing by the other boys. Painfully aware of their attitudes,
their mockery would rub salt into his already wounded ego. Their actions were harsh.
Their 'pointing' is a clear indication of their rejection. They 'copied my lisp' further indicating
that they made fun of how he spoke.

In the final stanza, the speaker further illustrates his envy for these children. They 'were
lithe'', seemingly he could not be, since he was not given the opportunity to partake in rough
activities. However the animal imagery makes it clear that he does not admire them
since 'they sprang out behind hedges' obviously to scare him as an animal would do to
surprise its prey. They were 'like dogs' further emphasising their savage nature and they
would 'bark at our world'. This line clearly emphasizes that the speaker sees himself
completely apart from these rough children. They come from entirely different worlds - he,
civilized and they not.

The last two lines has much pathos. The speaker attempts to appear brave by looking 'the
other way, pretending to smile', but obviously, he cannot. He had the desire to forgive them
for the manner in which they treated him, but they, of course, never gave him the opportunity
to do so and rejected him outright - 'yet they never smiled'. He did not stand a chance with
them.

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MY PARENTS
Themes
Parental Influence
His parents taught him to stay away from the lower class kids even though he
wanted to play with them. His parents taught him to stay away from the lower
class children, even though he wanted to be part of their group.
Social Segregation
In the society the narrator lived, there was a big separation between the social
classes, and that is the basic of the poem.
Discrimination
Heidi with blue hair,.in this poem, she is discriminated because of a physical
aspect, whereas in My Parents, the discrimination is because of a social status.
Both are caused because of the problems in society, and not by specific people-
In Heidi: the girl's dad is dealing against society with his daughter, and both are
'fighting' against it together
In My Parents: the parents of the narrator are the ones who taught him how to
discriminate others, but he never learns WHY.
My parents kept me from children who were rough
and who threw words like stones and who wore torn clothes.
Their thighs showed through rags. They ran in the street
and climbed cliffs and stripped by the country streams.
I feared more than tigers their muscles like iron
And their jerking hands and their knees tight on my arms.
I feared the salt coarse pointing of those boys
Who copied my lisp behind me on the road.

They were lithe, they sprang out behind hedges

Like dogs to bark at our world. They threw mud
And I looked another way, pretending to smile,
I longed to forgive them, yet they never smiled.

Voice 1st voice narrative : He describes his own feelings and what he
thinks, what he sees, describing his sorrows; they shouted at him,
probably bullying him, and, just like stones, their words were hurtful.
Simile connotates rough and strong vocabulary that they used.
They could not afford their own clothes. They had the freedom that the
narrator wants and envies. Lack of parental supervision
Similie: "muscles like iron": 'iron'-cold and hard; represents the fear of the
narrator of being hit by the strong boys physically trapped --> socially
trapped the way the boys pointed and imitated him, scared and
intimidated the narrator. There wasn't real happiness since he PRETENDED
to smile, and they NEVER smiled back.
In HEIDI WITH BLUE HAIR, the dad fights with her against society, while in
My Parents, the narrator’s parents represent the society. My parents kept
me from children who were rough
Who threw words like stones and who wore torn clothes.
Their thighs showed through rags. They ran in the street
And climbed cliffs and stripped by the country streams.

CEASURA: the structure emphasises contrast on two ideas:

1-What he is taught (to look down at the lower class)
2 -What he thinks (admiration and jealousy for their freedom and their
fearless personalities)

The Poet Stephen Spender

His work was usually about social injustice, and the struggle of lower
social classes

Historical context
Stephen Spender lived in the United Kingdom in a time when the
difference between social
classes was very big, and that would be the main reason for the theme of
his poems. Stephen Spender also had Hebrew origins, and this can be
seen by how he uses poetry to cause a social change, just as it was used
by biblical prophets in the past.

General Specific MOOD Setting

The setting is mainly in the streets of a city, where different social classes
interact with each other. In this poem the upper class boy is being
rejected and bothered by the lower class boys because he is different.

Atmosphere
In this poem, there is the idea of an isolation of the upper class, because
the boy from this class is rejected by the rest. There is also the idea of
fear because even though he wishes to be like them, he is scared of them
for what they do to him.
 Change
The poem changes importantly between stanzas.
In the first stanza it describes how this lower class kids were, and what
they did, but differently, in the second stanza, it talks about what they did
to him and how he felt about them. Later on in the third stanza, he talks
about how he wanted to be friend with the other kids, but couldn't.
In this poem, there is also a change in mood. In the first stanza, we are
shown the harsh life of poor people, and we felt pity, but in the second
stanza, this pity switches to the boy because we see how he is constantly
bothered by the rest. In the third stanza, as we see the impossibility of
friendship between classes, we see the isolation caused by the way
society works.
Purpose - The purpose of this poem is to protest against the separation
between social classes at that time, and it shows how even though the
middle class boy wanted the same as everyone else, he was rejected
solely for the social class he belonged to. This poem also shows how the
cause isn't the individual persons, but society, which has divided people
into classes, and also of the way people are taught from a very young age
that they cannot relate with people that are different to them.
In this poem it’s the parents who taught him to stay away from these kids
because they were poor.
Effectiveness - We think this poem is effective because it clearly shows
the way society used to work, and it also shows us this personal situation
of the boy who is unable to make friends because of social segregation.
Personal Opinion - In our opinion, this is a good poem because it is able to
describe clearly the truth about society at that time by using an example
the life of a middle class boy who tries to be friends with some lower class
boys. "Like dogs to bark at my world" Here he describes them as dogs,
which gives the idea that they are aggressive and dangerous, which
shows his fear, but the fact that he talks of them as dogs also shows that
he looks down on them like if they were stray dogs, unpleasant. Also the
fact that he says "my world" and not him means that they aren’t
particularly against him, but that they are against the world he is part of.
Similie - They were lithe, they sprang out behind hedges
Like dogs to bark at our world. They threw mud
And I looked another way, pretending to smile,
I longed to forgive them, yet they never smiled.
CEASURA: the separation of the structure of this stanza emphasises the
separation of two ideas
1-The fact that their conflict was caused by society, and how they had
something against his social class and not him.
2-How he "longed to forgive them but they never smiled." which shows
that he tries to break the barrier separating them, but he fails because
both the low class boys and society are against this. His father was a
journalist, and his mother was a painter and also a poet, which could
explain why Stephen Spender became not only a poet, but also a novelist
and an essayist. In 1965 he became the Poet Laureate of the United
States, which meant he was the official poet of the nation, whose duty is
to further interest citizens in the reading and writing of poetry.
What are the themes of "My Parents Kept Me from Children Who Were Rough"

The themes of "My Parents Kept Me from Children Who Were Rough" by Stephen Spender
include jealousy and resentment. Specifically, the author resents his parents for protecting
him from what they perceived to be dangerous children. As a result, the author is jealous of
the freedom of the other children in the poem.

Throughout the poem, Spender uses antithesis to compare and contrast the differences
between him and the other children. For example, he describes the other children as having
"muscles like iron" while the author suffered from a club foot that prevented him from being
as strong as the other children. In addition, Spender writes about how the children "climbed
cliffs" and "sprang out behind hedges." However, the author describes how he would simply
look the other way when he became too jealous.

Spender also alludes to the fact that the children he was so envious of made fun of him. He
specifically mentions the children copying his lisp and physically attacking him. Although he
does not explicitly mention his parents, the title expresses his disdain for the way his parents
raised him. The poem as a whole indicates that he would have been accepted by the other
children had he been able to play with them.

How might the lack of rhyme and rhythm be related to the theme? IS the poem a verse poem
or prose? Explain "My Parents kept me from children who were rough

One of the themes of the poem 'My parents kept me from children who were rough' by
Stephen Spender is isolation - another is lack of control. There is a certain lack of rhyme
and rhythm in that the poem is conversational in tone and tempo, and the language is plain
and vernacular. This may be because the poet is sharing his innermost feelings and
memories with his readers in a private way - like telling a confidence. This style also has the
benefit of delivering the poet's message in an authentic manner - perhaps more like the way
that young people would speak. The child may have been taught to feel sorry for or even
look down on, the local 'ruffian' children. Yet, in some ways, he does not feel superior to
them . They are strong and healthy, fit and agile. They have joyous freedoms to enjoy the
natural environment in a way he does not. They are not repressed or prevented by their
parents as he is. We feel he is just waiting for the barriers of his isolation to come down, but
as he says, they never do.
ANALYSIS
This poem could be a personal or biographical depiction of Spender's early life suffering the
disability of a club foot and a speech impediment. The use of the first person, stark
contrasts, and ambiguity give us a vivid picture of a child troubled by a
superiority/inferiority complex.
While his parents are condescending towards the rough coarse children, the child appears
envious of their carefree liberty, their unbridled animal prowess and uninhibited playfulness,
yet resentful of their bullying behaviour to him.
We can visualise the persona through antithesis. He is everything that they are not; softly
spoken (words like stones), well dressed (torn clothes, rags), passive (they ran and
climbed), inhibited - modesty (they stripped by country streams), weak (muscles of iron),
well mannered (salt coarse pointing) lisp (parodied by copying), clumsy (lithe), and friendly (
hostile- they never smiled).
His attempts at conciliation and acceptance are rebuffed but he appears to blame his
parents for psychologically damaging him by over protection or shielding him from a natural
childhood. While their superior attitude (snobbery?) has excluded him from mainstream
society, he ambivalently identifies with his parents by having the boys spring “like dogs to
bark at our world”.