Five Elements of Relational Ministry

1. Active Listening
In today's society it is extremely hard to be a truly active listener. But if you want those to whom you
minister to feel valued and appreciated, then this must be your first step. When people realize that you care
and make an effort to listen to them, making an emotional connection will become easier. Most people
just want to be listened to. To actively listen: make eye contact, don't interrupt, and don't formulate your
response in your head while the other person is talking. The focus should be completely on the person, not
your response to them.

2. Withholding Judgment
One of the biggest turn-offs of religion, especially for teens, is the feeling of being judged. In order to build
a real emotional connection one must withhold judgment. This does not mean that you have to condone
immoral action, or even support it, but you must not let the negative actions of those in your ministry
affect how you see them as a person. It is OK to tell them (and many times you should) that you disagree
with actions that they take, but you must ALWAYS love them. Likewise, affirm good decisions they make-
praise is always more effective then punishment.

3. Kind but Firm Discipline

Bad discipline can ruin a good time for anyone, and not only do teens especially need discipline, they
secretly want and thrive on it. Unless otherwise necessary, it is helpful to discipline in private while
providing explanations concerning why what the student did was wrong, as well as explaining the desired
punishment. Discipline should never be humiliation, should encourage mutual respect, and should always
be done with love and in the best interest of the student. Note: Sometimes even adults need discipline or
chastisement.

4. Servant Leadership
The best leaders lead by example and by service, acquiring authority rather than power. Servant leaders
need the following qualities: listening, empathy, healing, awareness, persuasion, conceptualization,
foresight, stewardship, growth and building community. Those to whom you minister should be able to
recognize in you everything that you want them to be. Servant-leaders achieve results by giving priority
attention to the needs of their colleagues and those they serve. Lead by example, and serve as a humble
steward!

5. Be Fun
Fun people are irresistible to be around. Whether you're with youth, family, friends, coworkers, the sick, or
the marginalized of any form, try to have fun. Even if you yourself are not the source of the fun, when
people see that you are able to loosen up and have fun, they are more likely to open up, trust you, and
make an emotional connection. You may not think yourself the "fun" person, but it's really just an attitude
of being open to new experience and being able to show your positive emotions in public. Give it a try: it
will make a world of difference!

Alabama Poverty Project • 1016 19th Street South • P.O. Box 55058 • Birmingham, AL 35255
205.939.1408 voice • 205.933.7774 fax • www.alabamapossible.org
 


Five Benefits of a Successful Relational Ministry

1. Authority
If your ministry is successful, you should start building authority with other people. Authority is
merely influence and ability to motivate based off of respect and love. If you build relationships,
people will respect you, and will be more willing to follow your example.

2. Community
Another mark of a successful relational ministry is that it fosters a sense of community. The people
become united in cause, identity, and purpose. This perpetuates a deeper emotional connection,
gives greater authority to each community member, and begins to mold members according to the
greater values of the community. We have all probably felt the benefits of community.

3. Respect
A fruit of successful ministry is that others will respect you. If you listen to them, serve them, and
have fun with them, it is obvious they will respect you and thus follow your (hopefully) good
example.

4. Trust
This is another obvious one, much like respect. Successful relationships are built on trust, and thus
will grow in trust.

5. Development
The goal of relational ministry, and any ministry for that matter, is spiritual growth and
development, both for others and for yourself. This means that you gain new wisdom,
understanding and knowledge from the relationship, and that you are nourished as well as the
person to whom you minister. Relationships with marginalized people should also result in changed
situations – moving those in poverty out of poverty.

Adapted from R.D. Lang, “The Importance of Relational Christian Ministry,”

http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Importance-of-Relational-Ministry

Alabama Poverty Project • 1016 19th Street South • P.O. Box 55058 • Birmingham, AL 35255
205.939.1408 voice • 205.933.7774 fax • www.alabamapossible.org