As the saying goes “Behind every successful man there stands a woman”. I couldn’t agree more.

However in my case there are two great women. The first one is my wonderful mother who has brought
me up with endless and everlasting love. Thank you mom, I just can’t thank you enough. The second
woman is of course my lovely wife. She has been walking by my side through rain or shine and for that I
shall walk with you till the end of time. But who stands behind every successful child? Who is their
backbone? Who shall guide and support them without hesitation? I would say without any doubts, are
great parents.

A very good morning to all the beautiful mothers and handsome fathers out there. Thank you for
joining me and being a part of this cause. Before I begin, I would like to congratulate every single one of
you for being a parent. Believe me; it is not easy to bear a child for 9 months and it would not be any
easier to raise one. Therefore, today our main focus would be our children and what we can do in order
to give them the very best.

Children are the gift of God, don’t you agree? They are the best gift Heaven could provide. They
are so pure, so innocent and they would light up your world for eternity. By the moment when you first
look into your child’s eyes you know that you would give them everything you have. Your children
would be the centre of your world and everything that would happen would revolve around them. You
would and in fact you should try your best to give everything you have to your children. However, the
question is: Do you have what it takes to be a great parent?

Ladies and gentlemen, fathers and mothers,

Being a parent is a tedious task and it is not an easy one. In order to give your children the best,
you need to be the best. The road to being a great parent is not a walk in the park, but it is also not a trip
to the Mars. I would love to compare it to the journey to conquer Mount Everest. With just the right
amount of training and tips, you could be the best parent in no time. As the founder of Brainy
Montessori, there is a principle that I always uphold — “P.A.R.E.N.T.S” principle.
 First of all, the letter “P” stands for patience and that is the first characteristic every parent must
have. Every child is very unique and no one is the same. Every single one of them has different
behaviour, characteristics, and abilities. Thus, it is very hard to ask the children to cope with our
demands and expectations, especially when they are at a younger age. Most of the time, we might end
up disappointed and frustrated. Losing your temper will only bring many negative effects. Beck (2007)
said that when we lose our patience, we become frustrated. Our frustration turns into anger and
resentment. Children who grow up in homes where they often feel like the source of frustration may
develop low self-esteem. Low self-esteem may grow into depression, anxiety, and anti-social behaviour.
The lack of patience in a household will lead to a stressful home which contains nothing but negativity.
Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make
them feel worse? Think of the last time you felt humiliated or treated unfairly. Did you feel like
cooperating or doing better? Therefore I would like to share my two cents on how to be patient. You
would only need to think back on how your parents had treated you. Imagine, whenever you are being
impatient or beginning to lose your temper when educating your children, try to recall how your
wonderful and lovely parents handled your antics back then. If you were less fortunate and some bad
experience with your parents, ask yourselves; do you want to let history repeat itself upon your children?
Would you want them to go through the bad childhood that you had or would you grant them a loving
home and the perfect childhood and memories?

Secondly, the letter “A” stands for assistance. Assistance generally means help and by all means
all parents should assist their children throughout the growing and learning process. It is best for parents
to guide their children rather than just spoon feeding them. For example, how many of you helped your
children to carry their school bags or tie their shoelaces? Most parents are not aware that such actions
would make the children to be dependent and non-functional when they are on their own. I would love
to quote a Chinese proverb: “Give me a fish and I eat for a day. Teach me to fish and I eat for a
lifetime.” Good parents do everything for their children but great parents guide and assist their children
to acquire various useful skills. Parents cannot do everything for their children and it is impossible to
protect your children against disappointments in life. In my experience, I notice that many children that
learn from a hard way will grow up to be much more independent, self-sufficient and successful
individuals. I personally believe that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow them to do
things for themselves, allow them to be strong, allow them to experience life on their own terms and let
them be better people and let them believe more in themselves. Children may stumble upon a few
pebbles, or maybe even rocks or giant boulders along the way and parents are the most suitable
candidates to assist them, to provide them with the appropriate guidance and advice to overcome these
obstacles. Parents know best. Parents should take this opportunity to understand and help their children.
Children might face some problems but it is all part and parcel of the growing up process and it would
be good if parents could assist and guide them with their own advices and experiences to help children
develop their characters.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I shall move on to the third letter which is “R”. “R” stands for role model. I believe that every
parent is aware that they must set up good example and be the best model for their children. Media and
Farnen (2014) stated that you must model the traits you want your child to learn, including good
manners, respect and friendliness. You must set clear rules and enforce them. Parents should praise good
behaviour, but have predetermined consequences for mistakes or negative actions, such as no television
if a child did not finish her homework. I believe that children are like a piece of sponge. They will
absorb everything they see and hear. Steinberg (2004) supported by saying that children enter the world
primed to model after their parents’ behaviour. Characteristics are not just “inherited but they are also
contagious, and children are especially susceptible to the emotions that their parents transmit. Most
parents underestimate the degree to which their children are aware of what they do and say. Therefore, if
your children tend to get angry, behave violently, use foul languages and so on, you might need to look
back into the mirror. If you can control your behaviour when everything around you is out of control,
you can model your children a valuable lesson in patience and understanding and at the same time,
snatching an opportunity to shape character. In addition, by role modelling one could teach many good
moral values to the children. Remember ladies and gentlemen, actions speak louder than words.
Sometime it is best to demonstrate than telling the children. For example, one could start a monthly
recycling campaign in their house. This would educate the children the importance of recycling,
conserving and protecting the environment. In my situation, I am actively involved in community
services around my neighbourhood and I always bring along my children. Hopefully they could pick up
all the good values from the lovely people who participate in the community services.
 The fourth letter is “E” and it stands for encouragement. Positive feedbacks such as
compliments, encouragement, and rewards are proven to be useful in shaping the children’s behaviour
and personality. Remember this dear parents, nobody like to get scolded especially the young ones.
Therefore parents should be generous with encouragement. However there is a setback. Too much
encouragement especially only after the children have accomplished something would make the children
to feel that the parents’ love is conditional. Children might feel that the parents love them for what they
do and not who they are. Hence, parents should learn how to praise accordingly. Praises should be given
not only to the product or accomplishment, but to the quality of work and the amount of effort your
children have put into. Steinberg (2004) suggested that parents should tie their praise to the quality of
the accomplishment, not to the grade or rating it has received from someone else. Children’s
accomplishments ought to stand on their own, but if parents feel that they must compare their child’s
performance to something, compare it to their previous level of accomplishment and not to the
accomplishments of others. By loving them for more than their abilities, we show our children that they
are much more than the sum of their accomplishments.

Moving on the next letter is “N” and “N” means never neglect. Children are always hungry for
their parents’ love and attention. Thus, parents must do all they can by providing them all with all the
attention and fulfil their children’s needs. On 22nd June 2014, our nation was shocked with breaking
news. An immigration team conducting checks at Taman Semarak, Nilai to weed out illegal immigrants
walked into a shocking sight at a block of flats. They found a severely malnourished and physically
handicapped teenager locked in a unit. The 15 year old boy, who is also believed to be mentally
challenged, was naked but for a tattered, soiled t-shirt and was covered in his own faeces and urine in
one of the rooms of the unit. The mother of teen when found told the press that she was having a very
hard time to financially support her and her son. This news spread on the internet like a wildfire and
netizens were very furious about such irresponsible mother. Are you one of the angry parents? That is a
living proof of a parent that has given up her role as a parent and neglects her child. It is essential that
every parent treat all children equally disregard of their abilities. I would suggest parents to spend
quality time by doing some meaningful activities together with their children. Activities such as having a
simple picnic by the beach or taking a short walk in the park together would boost the children’s morale.
Such activities will also strengthen the bond between you and your children and you would gain their
trust. Not to forget, you could try to come out with some activities that can be done regularly. For
example, my children love going to the libraries. Therefore I would take them to different libraries on
weekly basis. To add on, parents should listen to their children. From listening to their children, one
could learn and discover many things. Listening also helps the parents to understand the children even
more. When you take the time to actually listen, with humility, to what people have to say, it is amazing
what you can learn especially if the people who are doing the talking also happen to be children.

Ladies and gentlemen,

So far we had covered “P.A.R.E.N” and now it is time for the letter “T”. “T” is an activity that I
love doing with my children which is telling them stories. Stories have been proven as a wonderful and
useful tool to shape the children’s mind and personalities. Through stories, we can expose the children to
various knowledge, skills, and moral values. Kalikids (2014) wrote in their website that stories will also
help teach children good morals and ethical values. They can help to broaden children’s awareness of
different cultures which is incredibly beneficial for children in expanding their imagination and
knowledge of the world they live in. Not only that the children can expand their vocabulary and this will
aid them in acquiring the language. This is supported by Kalikids (2013) where they said that through
reading to children from a young age we are introducing them to language in different ways. This
knowledge and experience of language will positively support the child throughout their academic life.
Most importantly, you will build a special bond between you and your children when you are telling
stories to them. Reese (2013) said that telling stories costs us only our time, our memories, our
creativity. They can inspire us, protect us, and bind us to others. So be generous with your stories, and
be generous in your stories. Remember that your children may have them for a lifetime. Therefore, my
advice to you parents here is, go back and start telling your children stories. Make every second counts.
Finally, we have reached the last letter “S”. “S” stands for security and every child in this world
must be protected. It is the parents’ responsibility to monitor their children and ensure their safety
twenty four seven. In this hostile world we are living in, anything could happen in just a matter of mere
seconds; even when you turned your back against your children for just one second. For example in 31st
May 2014, Sitti Soffea was abducted, killed and beheaded at Klang River. Her mother left her for toilet
and returned 5 minutes later only to find her daughter was missing. The 2 year old toddler is a good
example how scary the society and the world has become. Thus parents must take all the necessary
safety precautions before it is too late. I have always told and remind my children about the three golden
rules every day. Rule One which is never talk to strangers. Rule Two which is never accept things from
strangers and the Rule Three never follow strangers home. Not only those, my wife and I always make
sure that we know our children’s whereabouts. It is always better to be safe than sorry. Meanwhile,
parents are also responsible in protecting their children from harmful diseases. There are many harmful
diseases that could harm our beloved children such as hepatitis, dengue fever, diabetes, and so on.
Hence, parents must make sure that their children have all the necessary vaccination taken. It is also
advisable to educate our children to live a healthy life. In my family, we have “Vegetables Wednesday”
and “Fish Only Friday” where we would only take vegetables and fish on these two days. It is fun and
believe me, such activities might sound silly but the outcomes are very promising.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Thank you for bearing with me so far. You all have been great listeners. However this is not the
end. In order to be great parents, one must not only understand and apply the concept of
“P.A.R.E.N.T.S”, but also must love their children whole heartedly. Yes, love is the last and most
important key for being great parents. Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible —
it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you
more joy than any material possession could. Let’s not forget that love is also patient and kind. It does
not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not
easily angered, and it knows no record of wrongs. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes and
always perseveres. Children are brought into this world with love and therefore should be loved. It
brings tears to my eyes when I hear news about parents discriminating their children because of their
appearances, gender or disabilities. If the children were given a choice, do you think they would want to
be born in that state? No man should bring children into the world that is unwilling to persevere to the
end in their nature and education. Therefore, I strongly urge every parent here to love your children
wholeheartedly and unconditionally. However, there is a thin line that every parent must be aware of.
Showering too much love into your children might spoil your children. Parents must learn to love wisely
and not blindly. For example, parents should correct their children’s misbehaviour and not letting it go
with a smile. In his book “The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting” Steinberg (2004) wrote that
parents cannot be too loving. It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love. It is usually the
consequence of giving child things in place of love -- things like leniency, lowered expectations, or
material possessions. Hence, to you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you
love them, but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know as you care for
their needs each day and as you deal with the challenges which inevitably come with parenthood.

After presenting the meaning of “P.A.R.E.N.T.S”, I believe that it is time to wrap up. Those are
the ten qualities every great parent should have. If anyone asks me, what is it like to be a parent? This is
my answer to the question: It’s one of the hardest things you will ever do but in exchange, it teaches you
the meaning of unconditional love. Before I end my speech, I would like to quote a meaningful sentence
from Confucius. Confucius once said “What I hear, I forget. What I see, I remember. What I do, I
understand.” Therefore to all the lovely parents here, let's do it together. We've heard what we have to
do. We've seen what we need to do. Now is the time to do it and together we can! Let us be the best
parents, or die trying! With that, I thank you.

(3060 words)
References
Beck, K., B. (2007). The Best Parents Have Patience. Retrieved from
http://www.kristensguide.com/Family/Parenting/parent_patience.asp

Farnen, K., Media, D. (2014). What Are The Three Qualities Of Every Good Parent? Retrieved from
http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/three-qualities-good-parent-4306.html

Reese, E. (2013). What Kids Learn From Hearing Family Stories. Retrieved from
http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2013/12/what-kids-learn-from-hearing-family-
stories/282075/

Singh, S. (2014). Disabled Teen Left To Fend For Himself. Retrieved from
http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Nation/2014/06/22/Horrific-find-during-raid-Disabled-teen-
left-to-fend-for-himself/

Steinberg, L. (2004) The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting. Retrieved from

http://books.google.com.my/books?id=AahNd33-EC0C&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=
false