Murray Bowen’s Scale of Differentiation (adapted)

100 • Hypothetical/ideal human? It is not clear whether this is achievable.

85-95 • Very well differentiated.
• Principle-oriented and goal-directed.
• Inner-directed, internal locus of control, self-sufficient, self-regulating, assertive.
• Not likely to be emotionally reactive.
• Not dogmatic or rigid in thinking and in action.
• Capable of listening to the viewpoints of others with an open mind.
• Can discard old beliefs in favour of new ones.
• Can listen without reacting and can communicate without antagonising others — non-adversarial.
• Secure with self and values time in solitude.
• Functioning and self-image not affected by praise or criticism. Welcomes and values honest feedback.
• Not overly responsible for others.
• Free to enjoy relationships.
• Does not have a 'need' for others and others do not feel used.
• Respects and values differences.
• Not prone to engage in polarised debates.
• Realistic self-image.
• Not pre-occupied with his/her place in the hierarchy.
• Realistic expectations from self — understands self limitations and needs and takes them seriously.
• Expectations from others are also realistic.
• Tolerance of intense feelings, has well-developed emotional skill and literacy.
• Low or no anxiety.
• Can adapt under stressful situations without developing stress but will avoid such situations where there
is a choice.
• Peaceful. Well-developed spirituality (not necessarily religion).
• Excellent personal boundaries.
75 • Fairly well differentiated.
• Can be calm in troubled times.
• Moves between emotional closeness and independent goals.
• More real — does not seek approval.
• Less emotionally reactive but if triggered recovers quickly. More choice between feelings and intellect.
• Good boundaries.
60 • Acts more on the basis of reason and intellect than simply reacting to feelings.
• Able to consider and choose actions rather than simply react to a feeling.
• Able to think for self rather than simply follow the opinions of others.
• In relationships hesitates to say what he/she thinks. Can hide true thoughts/feelings/needs.
• Boundaries improving.
50 • If triggered or stressed recovers more easily.
40 (poor) • Lifelong pursuit of ideal closeness.
• Relationships tend to be based on mutual dependency or might be avoided altogether.
• Low level of real self. Operates a lot out of a pseudo-self/adapted inner child.
• Seeks the approval of others a lot. Preoccupied with creating a good impression.
• Feels good if approved of, bad if criticised/disapproved of. Self-image depends on outside.
• Influenced by feelings — low ability to choose actions rationally.
• Poor emotional skill/literacy.
• Poor or inconsistent boundaries.
• Seeks distractions from self.
30 (poor) • Spends a lot of energy on ‘loving’ or ‘being loved’.
• Highly suggestible to views/opinions of others and adopts viewpoints of others. Poor boundaries.
• Prone to joining sects or adopting extremist or rigid black/white ideologies, philosophies.
• Alternatively, consistently rebellious or rigid in beliefs and views.
• Successful at work only if praised by superiors.
0-25 • Lives in a feeling world — but could also be so sensitised to the point of being emotionally numb.
(very • High levels of chronic anxiety — difficult to find situations in which they can be truly comfortable.
poor) • Difficulty maintaining long-term relationships — Gives up on relationships.
• Emotionally needy and highly reactive to others. Co-dependent. No boundaries.
• Most of life energy goes into 'loving' or 'being loved' — most of the person’s energy is consumed by
reactiveness to having failed to get love
• Little energy left for goal-directed pursuits — trying to achieve comfort is enough.
• Functioning almost entirely governed by emotional reactions to the environment.
• Inability to differentiate between thoughts and feelings — isn’t aware of alternatives to what he/she feels.
• Responses range from automatic compliance to extreme oppositional behaviour.
* Differentiation according to Bowen is ‘the amount of self you have in you’.
* We attract, and are attracted to, people with a similar level of differentiation
Reference: Kerr M., Bowen M. (1988). Family Evaluation: An Approach Based on Bowen Theory. NY: Norton.