RaNelle Wallace's Near-Death Experience

On October 9, 1985, RaNelle Wallace and her husband tried to fly their single-engine airplane
through a snowstorm in central Utah. They became disoriented and crashed against the side of a
mountain, turning their small craft into a raging inferno. Burnt over 75% of her body, charred and in
severe pain she struggled for her life as she climbed down the jagged and treacherous mountainside
to seek for help. After giving all that was in her to give, she finally let go of her life when the
paramedic said, "Stop fighting, well do all the work for you!" RaNelle Wallace died at that time - six
hours after the plane crashed. What happened to her then has captured the hearts of thousands who
have heard of her incredible journey beyond this life.

One aspect of her near-death experience is very unusual and quite amazing. While in heaven, she
sees her son who was not yet born into the world. It is this aspect of her experience that makes her
near-death experience very unique. What follows are excerpts from her book, The Burning Within
[Click the link to email RaNelle to order her book] in which she describes her amazing near-death
experience. More information can be found at RaNelle's Facebook page at
www.facebook.com/ranelle.wallace.

Table of Contents

1. RaNelle Experiences the Tunnel and Life Review

2. RaNelle Enters the Light and Meets Her Grandmother

3. RaNelle Meets a Friend from a Lower Afterlife Realm

4. RaNelle Learns Heavenly Insights at the Speed of Light

5. The Heavenly Garden and Its Sustaining Love

6. The Floodgates of Knowledge Overwhelm RaNelle

7. RaNelle Meets Her Eternal Heavenly Friends

8. RaNelle Sees Her Burned Body and Told to Return

9. RaNelle Meets Her Future Son Nathaniel

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1. RaNelle Experiences the Tunnel and Life Review

Plane wreakageAt that moment I was sucked into a narrow tube, and I began flying through it feet
first. The tube was extremely tight, and I became more frightened because it almost felt like my body
was being sucked inside out. My speed was tremendous - indescribable. Nothing on Earth has ever
gone that fast, nothing could. It felt as if I were whizzing past galaxies, but the colors and lights were
right next to me, almost brushing against me, and my fears mounted.

Then I heard voices. It seemed people were traveling beside me somehow, although there was no
room for them. I became aware of one person near me who was alone and not speaking. I couldn't
see anyone; I just knew the person was there.

The voices stopped and a brief scene flashed before me. A series of pictures, words, ideas,
understanding. It was a scene from my life. It flashed before me with incredible rapidity, and I
understood it completely and learned from it. Another scene came, and another, and another, and I
was seeing my entire life, every second of it. And I didn't just understand the events; I relived them. I
was that person again, doing those things to my mother, or saying those words to my father or
brothers or sisters, and I knew why, for the first time, I had done them or said them. Entirety does
not describe the fullness of this review. It included knowledge about myself, that all the books in the
world couldn't contain. I understood every reason for everything I did in my life. And I also
understood the impact I had on others.

A part of me began to anticipate certain events, things in my life I would dread seeing again. But
most of them didn't show up, and I understood that I had taken responsibility for these actions and
had repented of them. I saw myself repenting of them, sincerely wanting God to remove the weight
and guilt of those terrible actions. And He had. I marveled at His sublime love and that my misdeeds
could be forgiven and removed so easily. But then I saw other scenes that I hadn't anticipated, things
that were just as awful. I saw them in horrible detail and watched the impact they had on others. I
saw that I had let many people down in my life. I had made commitments to friends and family that I
had just let ride until they were irreversibly unfulfilled. People had depended on me, and I had said,
I'm too busy or it's not my problem, and just let it go. My cavalier attitude had caused real pain and
heartache in others, pain I had never known about.

I was shown a friend who I knew had suffered terribly in her life. She lived in a beautiful, spiritual
world before she came to this life, and she had been confused and hesitant about coming here at all.
But she was given the promise of good parents, family members, and friends, and she agreed to
come for the experience and growth this life would afford her. I was shown that I was one of the key
friends who had been given to her as a guide and help. Then I saw my own personal follies and
uncaring attitudes. I saw how these had combined to mislead my friend and propel her into new
mistakes and grief.

I had messed up my own life, not really caring about the consequences, and in so doing had hurt her
as well. If I had followed through on my obligations to myself and others, she would have lived an
easier and more productive life. Until that moment I had never realized that ignoring responsibilities
was a sin.
What was happening? Why was I seeing all this? My mind spun with questions.

Next, I saw a woman whom I had been asked by our local church leader to visit periodically. I was just
to check up on her and see if she needed any help. I knew the woman quite well but was afraid of her
constant pessimism and negativity. She was locally renowned for her bitterness. I didn't think I could
handle the depressing influence she would have on me, so I never went to see her. Not once. I saw
now that the opportunity to visit her had been orchestrated by Higher Powers, that I had been just
the person she needed at that time. She didn't know it, and I didn't know it, but I had let her down.
Now I lived her sadness and felt her disappointment and knew I was a cause of it. I had fallen through
on a special mission to her, a responsibility that would have strengthened me over time. I had
retreated from an opportunity for growth, both for me and for her, because I was not caring enough
to fight through my petty fears and laziness. But the reasons didn't matter; I could see that, even
now, she was living in sadness and bitterness, living through it just as I now experienced it, and there
was nothing I could do to go back and help.

I re-experienced myself doing good things, but they were fewer and less significant than I had
thought. Most of the great things I thought I had done were almost irrelevant. I had done them for
myself. I had served people when it served me to do so. I had founded my charity on conditions of
repayment, even if the repayment was merely a stroke to my ego. Some people had been helped,
however, by my small acts of kindness, a smile, a kind word, little things I had long since forgotten. I
saw that people were happier because of my actions and in turn were kinder to others. I saw that I
had sent out waves of goodness and hope and love when I had only meant to smile or to help in a
small way. But I was disappointed at how few of these incidents there were. I had not helped as
many people as I thought.

As the review of my life came to an end I was in agony. I saw everything I had ever done in vivid,
immediate detail - the bad things, haunting and terrifying in their finality, and the good things,
ringing with greater reward and happiness than I had ever imagined. But in the end I was found
wanting. I found myself wanting. Nobody was there to judge me. Nobody had to be. I wanted to melt
in the agony of self-indictment. The fires of remorse began to consume me, but there was nothing I
could do.

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2. RaNelle Enters the Light and Meets Her Grandmother

A dot of light appeared far off in front of me. It was just a pinpoint, a tiny speck in the distance, but
its brilliance distinguished it from all other lights around me and I instinctively pressed towards it.
Emanating from it was a love and hope and peace that my soul hungered for. I wanted, I needed this
brilliant, radiant light. The black tube took the shape of a tunnel now, opening up as I neared its end.
The light burst forth before me, filling everything with brightness, and I was coming upon it
impossibly fast. Oh, my gosh, I thought, it's brighter than the sun. It'll blind me! It'll kill me!
I remembered my burns from the plane crash and was afraid they would ignite again in this radiance.
But I couldn't stop myself. I was drawn to the light by forces I could not control, so I shut my eyes
against my impending destruction. But my eyes wouldn't shut. They felt shut - but somehow I could
still see. And then I was in the light.

Like a nuclear explosion, the light pierced me. Every particle of me was shot through with blinding,
brilliant light, and I had a feeling of transparency. My skin didn't burn. My eyes still saw. I floated in
this light, bathed in it, and the love that surrounded me and filled me was sweeter and finer than
anything I had ever felt. I was changed by it, refined, rarified, made pure. I basked in its sweetness,
and the traumas of the past were far behind me, forgotten and transformed by peace. Then an image
appeared in the distance.

A woman walked toward me dressed in white. Her hair was white, and her face shone with light. I
had no fear of her; the love I felt allowed no fear. She came forward and stood immediately before
me. Then she smiled, and I loved her smile. It filled me with even greater love, and I wanted to know
her. She spoke my name. "RaNelle." But her lips didn't move. Her smile never changed and my first
thought was "Wow, what a trick! Her lips didn't move."

"RaNelle," she said again, and I realized her voice sounded in my mind and not in my ears. How could
this be? "RaNelle," she was more insistent. "It's Grandma." And the moment she said this, I
recognized her. She was my mother's mother. But she looked different than I had remembered. She
was full and rounded and vibrant. She appeared to be about twenty-five years old, but her hair was
glorious white, and everything about her was radiantly beautiful. Her body was glorious, and I began
to understand why I hadn't recognized her. She had been frail and sick all the years I had known her.
Then the realization hit me.

Grandma was dead; she had died a couple of years before. And I thought, if she's dead, then what
am I doing here? "Oh, I'm dead." The thought came out of me like spoken words, though I hadn't
moved my mouth.

Now everything fit. The colorful lights, the life review, and now this light of glorious love, all of it
naturally occurred as my life continued in this next world. This definitely wasn't some dream or some
drug-induced vision. I was more keenly aware and alive now than I had ever been in my body. I
immediately accepted this, and wanted to know where everybody was.

Grandma giggled. Her lips didn't move, but her spirit giggled. "Aren't people supposed to meet me
when I die?" I asked. "Aren't there supposed to be people singing hallelujah and coming up to hug
me and saying, ‘Welcome'?"
She giggled again, and I thought it was the most delightful giggle I had ever heard. "Well," she said,
"everybody is quite busy. Come on. You have a lot to see," and she reached out for my hand.

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3. RaNelle Meets a Friend from a Lower Afterlife Realm

But I thought, "Wait, what about Jim?" Jim was a friend who had been killed in an automobile
accident several months earlier. If Grandma was here, maybe she could tell me what happened to
him. "What about Jim?" I said again, and then I saw him in the distance, walking toward us.

Instantly I wanted to run and embrace him, but my grandmother put out her arm and said, "No, you
cannot." I was startled. There was a power in her words, and I knew I couldn't oppose them. "Why
not?" I asked.

"Because of the way he lived his life," she said.

He had come closer now and had stopped ten or twelve feet away. He was dressed in jeans and a
blue shirt that was unbuttoned to mid-chest. This was how he normally wore his shirts on Earth, but I
thought, my goodness, that's risqué. Do they let you dress like that in heaven? He smiled, and I could
feel his happiness. Although he didn't possess the same kind of light or power that my grandmother
did, he seemed content. He gave me a message to give to his mother, asking that I tell her to stop
grieving over his death, to let her know that he was happy and progressing.

He explained that he had made certain decisions in life that had hindered his growth on Earth. He
had made the decisions knowing they were wrong, and now he was willing to accept their
consequences. When he was thrown from the van that he and his wife and a friend had been in, his
head had hit a rock, and he had been killed instantly. When he got to the other side, he was given a
choice to stay in the spirit or return to Earth. He could see that his growth on Earth had come to a
stop and that if he returned he might lose even that light which he had gained. So he chose to stay.

He asked me to explain this to his mother, and I said I would, not knowing how I would accomplish it
since I had no thought of going back myself. Then he said that he had a lot of work waiting for him,
and he turned and left. I could tell that he was very busy, very engaged in matters that were vital to
him, that would help him, though I didn't know what they were. I looked at my grandmother and
asked why she had prevented me from embracing him. She explained that this was a part his of
"damnation".

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4. RaNelle Learns Heavenly Insights at the Speed of Light

"The powers we are given," she explained, "are self-given. We grow by the force of our desires to
learn, to love, to accept things by faith that we cannot prove. Our ability to accept truth, to live by it,
governs our progress in the spirit, and it determines the degree of light we possess. Nobody forces
light and truth upon us, and nobody takes it away unless we let them. We are self-governed and self-
judged. We have total agency. Jim decided to limit his growth on Earth by rejecting things he knew
were true. He hurt himself and others by using and selling drugs. Some of the people were hurt
severely. He had various reasons for turning to drugs but the fact remains that he knew these things
were wrong. He chose darkness over light often enough that he would not choose light again. And,
now, to the degree that he became spiritually dark, he is consigned to a similar degree of darkness -
or lack of light - here in the spirit. Yet he still has agency. He can grow. He can still find all the joy he is
willing to accept, all that he is capable of receiving. But he knows that he does not have the same
powers to progress and achieve joy that others with more light have. This is a part of damnation,
because his progress is limited. But he is choosing to grow. And he is happy."

"The Lord never gives more challenges in life than can be handled," she continued, "Rather than
jeopardize someone's spiritual progression or cause more suffering than can be endured, he will
bring that spirit home, where he or she can continue progressing."

All of this rang utterly true to me. She had communicated it with lightning speed, faster than
computers can talk. It was instant and total knowing. I found that Grandmother and I could think on
several levels at once and communicate them all simultaneously. You can't know something without
knowing everything around it, what causes it, what sustains it. Knowledge dovetails in the spirit
world, each piece fitting with other pieces. Every fact connected to it is seen instantly, in totality. We
have nothing like it on Earth. We can't even approach it. Our knowledge and ability to communicate
is like a child's who hasn't yet learned a language. We struggle to communicate, but we don't possess
the tools. We're like little children.

My grandmother held out her hand and said, "Come quickly." I reached out to take it and stopped.
"Wow," I said. "Look at my hand." My hand was clear, like transparent gel, but there was light
coursing through it like clear blood. But, the light didn't run in irregular patterns as it would in veins;
rather, the light shot through my hands like rays or beams. My whole hand sparkled with light. I
looked down and saw that my feet also sparkled with light. And I noticed again that they weren't
burned. My feet and hands were perfect and whole. They radiated this glistening, beaming light, and
I looked at my grandmother and saw that her light was brighter than mine. Every part of her was
more brilliant. Even her dress was glowing white. And I recognized the dress. It was the dress that
she had been buried in. My mother had bought it for her funeral. I thought about what Jim had been
wearing, and I understood that people there wear what they want to wear. They wear what they're
comfortable in, and I knew that my grandmother must have loved this dress my mother bought for
her. Although she had never worn it in life, Grandma was wearing it now, and she was radiant.
Moments later we were walking, holding hands, and the most beautiful panorama I had ever beheld
opened before us.

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5. The Heavenly Garden and Its Sustaining Love

A garden cannot exist on Earth like the one I saw. I had been in gardens in California that had taken
my breath away, but they were stuck into insignificance by the scene before me now. Here was an
endless vista of grass rolling away into shining, radiant hills. We have never seen green in our world
like the deep, shimmering green of the grass that grew there. Every blade was crisp, strong, and
charged with light. Every blade was unique and perfect and seemed to welcome me into this
miraculous place.

And the whole garden was singing. The flowers, grass, trees, and other plants filled this place with
glorious tones and rhythms and melodies; yet I didn't hear the music itself. I could feel it somehow
on a level beyond my hearing. As my grandmother and I stopped a moment to marvel at the
magnificent scene, I said to myself, "Everything here seems to be singing," which was woefully
inadequate to describe what I felt. We simply don't have language that adequately communicates
the beauty of that world.

I noticed something unusual about the flowers near us. My grandmother waved her arm and,
without speaking, commanded them to come to her. Although it was a command, the flowers took
joy in obeying her. They floated through the air and came to a stop, suspended within the circle of
her arms. The bouquet was alive. Each blossom was able to communicate, react, and actually
enlighten others near it. "Grandma," I said, "they have no stems."

"Why should they have stems?" she said. "Flowers on Earth need stems to receive nourishment, to
grow to their fullest potential. Everything God has made is spiritual and is designed to grow towards
it own spiritual potential. A flower reaches its fullness in the blossom. Here everything exists in its
fullest form. These flowers have no need of stems."

"But they just float."

"Should they fall? Everything here is perfect." She took one of the flowers and handed it to me. "Isn't
that beautiful?" she said. The whole blossom was filled with various shades of light, and its beauty
was incredible. Then the flower became part of me. Its soul merged with mine. It experienced
everything I was doing, or had done before. It was acutely aware of me, and at the same time it
changed me with its delicate spirit, with its own existence and life. It affected my feelings, my
thoughts, my identity. It was me. I was it. The joy that came from this union was more pervasive and
delicious and fulfilling than any I had known until that moment, and I wanted to cry. The scriptures
say that one day all things shall be as one. That statement has great power for me now. My
grandmother commanded the flowers to return, and they floated gently back to their places just
above the ground. The one in my hands also returned, but its essence remained with me.

"All this comes from God, and the power to sustain it comes from him. It is the power of his love. Just
as the plant life on Earth needs soil, water, and light for nourishment, spiritual life needs love. All
creation springs from God's love, and everything he creates has the capacity to love in turn. Light,
truth, and life are all created in love and are sustained by love. God gives it love. We give it love. You
give it love. And thus creation grows. And, RaNelle," she said, "I love you!"

As she said the words, I felt her love charge into my being, filling me with incredible warmth and joy.
This was life. This was true existence. There had been nothing like it on Earth. I felt the plants loving
me, the sky, the fragrances, everything. And as I received my grandmother's words and this love, I
knew that now I would be responsible to increase and heighten all love around me, whatever my
circumstances. She was teaching me love, its definition, its extent and power, not just so I could take
pleasure in receiving it, but so I could express it to others. I was being filled with love in order to
become a source of love.

My grandmother took my hand, and as we walked through the garden she explained some of the
basic purposes of our life on Earth, the need to live the golden rule, the need to help others, the
necessity of a savior, the need to read scriptures and have faith, and I said, "Grandma, I already know
this; I learned it all in Sunday school. Why are you teaching it to me again."

She spoke simply, "It is within the simple principles of the gospel that the mysteries of heaven are
found." What was she saying? I couldn't see any mysteries in her words. I felt her immense love, but I
could see no purpose in teaching me principles that had come clear to me years before. Yet she
continued, reiterating the importance of basic goodness, religion, the power of repentance, things
anybody can learn in the Bible. I listened, my frustration growing as we walked up the side of a hill.
We came to the top, and I said, "Grandma, I know all that. I really do. Teach me more."

"You're not ready."

"Yes, I am, Grandma. I'm ready for much more."

"No, you don't believe the basics yet. You lack faith."

"What is it I don't believe? How do I lack faith?"

Oh, but she knew me. She knew me better than I could have imagined. As we stood on the bluff
overlooking a small valley, I saw a scene that changed me forever. The scene was sacred beyond
words, beyond expression, and those who have witnessed it keep it hidden in their hearts. I saw that
I had indeed lacked faith, that love isn't simply a word or an emotion; love is a power that gives
action to all around it. Love is the power of life. This was a turning point for me, something that
allowed all of my understanding and love to magnify, but I can never share the details here except to
say that I know that love between people here can be eternal. I felt Grandma beaming with
happiness. I had passed a test. Grandma took my hand, and we traveled quickly over the landscape. I
looked down at the ground flying under us. We streaked like a beam of light across this immense
spiritual world then moved upward into space, traveling even faster.

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6. The Floodgates of Knowledge Overwhelm RaNelle

Floodgates of knowledge opened, and truth poured into me without end or constraint. Its source was
the light and truth all around me, and it was clarified, or explained at my level, by my grandmother.
She gave me knowledge about God, life, the creation of the world, and even the reaches of eternity.
The truths were comprehensive and complete and rushed upon me in such enormous volume that I
thought my head would explode. It was coming too fast. I wanted to be able to absorb it, to
remember it all, but it was too much. "I can't take this!" I said. "Stop!"

Instantly all communication ceased and we came to a standstill. My grandmother looked at me and I
felt her surprise. "Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"I can't handle all you're giving me. How can I possibly retain it all?"

"RaNelle, don't worry about it," she said to me. "Let go of the fear. Don't doubt yourself. You will
recall things as you need them, and they will be brought to your memory by the Spirit. Have faith.
Believe in the power of God." Then I understood what had become the greatest block to my growth
in life: fear. It had plagued me all my years, had stopped my progress, cut short my attempts at
working through problems. Fear had limited my enjoyment of life and it was blocking me now. When
I feared, my powers of travel, understanding and progression became paralyzed. "Don't fear this," I
said to myself. "Let go." And we were traveling again, knowledge pouring into me faster than ever.

Scene after scene of living truth passed through me: history on Earth, history of our existence before
Earth, principles, facts, things that I had had no conception of. I saw them. I experienced them,
literally becoming part of each scene.

I saw that we all stood before our Father before coming to Earth, brothers and sisters in eternity. I
experienced this anew, just as I had experienced it in my own pre-mortal life. I saw that we chose to
come here, to face trials and to gain the experience of this Earth. I saw that we elected to follow a
savior who would redeem us from the sins of our mortal lives and bring us back to our Father. I felt
love and joy sweep over me again as we accepted Jesus Christ as savior. Then we raised our right
arms, just as we might in a court of law, and we made a sacred covenant with God that we would do
all in our power to accomplish our missions on Earth. And I felt the tremendous honor of making this
covenant before our Heavenly Father. We vowed, in effect, to become partners with him in bringing
about goodness on Earth. We promised to use our time and energies and talents to help bring about
the savior's full purposes, to help bring our brothers and sisters back to him and to our Father again. I
saw that our God knew each of us individually. He knew our hearts, our souls, and he loved us
unconditionally. It was as though he spent unmeasured time with each of us, counseling us, loving us.
Time did not exist; each of us had always had a relationship with Him.

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7. RaNelle Meets Her Eternal Heavenly Friends

I saw that the people standing beside me on that occasion were people who would play an integral
part in my life on Earth. We were connected to each other in vital ways. If one of us were to fail in his
or her mission, all of us would be hurt in some way. If one succeeded, we would all benefit. It was as
if we were part of a puzzle with millions of pieces. It was put together perfectly, but if one piece were
removed, we all would be lacking and would not be content until that piece was found and returned
to its rightful place. We needed each other. We still do, and always will. I believe that it is impossible
here to imagine the grief of a brother or sister who is lost from that grand family organization. Many
other events of eternity passed through me. I seemed to bathe in them, to become them. They were
infused into my soul. And I know that all this knowledge is with me yet, some of which I remember,
such as making the covenant with our Father, and some of which I am waiting to remember.

I asked my grandmother if I could visit my friends, the ones I had cherished throughout eternity. She
said some of them were still on Earth and that I would not be able to see them. I asked for the
others, and instantly they came to me, beautiful people of light and love. I remembered them and
their names. Some had already lived on Earth and died, and some had not yet been born. All the
memories of my existence before Earth came back to me, but I was told that I would not retain them,
that they were for this place only. I accepted that, and my friends came and embraced me,
welcoming me back. My friends embraced me again and committed to stay with me. I felt their
perfect love and knew they would never leave me. One female friend lingered and embraced me for
a long time. She seemed bonded to me in a unique way, but I didn't quite understand what it was.

"You know I've always been with you," she said. "I've never left you. And I never will." She hung on
every word I said, and I was moved as I recognized her passion to be with me, her absolute devotion
and love. "I'll always be there," she said again. My grandmother took my hand, and we found
ourselves in the garden again, traveling above another beautiful hillside. Everything was harmonious,
perfect, like sweet music. She waved her arm, and we stopped above another high hill, and I saw
millions of people before us. "These are the spirits of those that have died," she said. "They are
waiting for the work to be done. They're waiting for those on Earth to finish their part of the work."
"Their part of the work?" I asked. "What work?" She showed me that the people were organized into
family units. "You committed yourself to giving your time and talents on Earth to further the work of
the Lord. You need these people, and they need you. We are all dependent upon one another."

My life review had already pointed out how remiss I had been in serving others. Now I saw that there
was much I could do, sharing, sacrificing, offering what I have. The spirits of those who have died are
waiting for each of us to come closer to the truth, to become part of the complete puzzle again, to
recognize the divinity of God and live in his light. Before moving on I saw that each person wore
clothing from his or her own time period on Earth. As with my friend, Jim, they wore what they were
comfortable in.

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8. RaNelle Sees Her Burned Body and Told to Return

Grandma waved her arm and the ground opened before us. I looked and saw a person lying on a
hospital bed surrounded by doctors and nurses. The person's face was bandaged. "You will never be
the same, RaNelle," Grandma said. "Your face will be altered and your body filled with pain. When
you go back, you will have years of rehabilitation ..."

"When I go back?" I looked at her. "You expect me to go back?" Sudden understanding came, and I
looked at the person on the bed. The arms were spread wide, and both arms and hands had been
sliced in several places to allow the fluids to drain into plastic bags. "Is that me?" I was horrified.

"Yes, RaNelle, it is you. You will be badly scarred." I became frantic. "Grandma, I'm not going back."

"Your children need you, RaNelle."

"No, no they don't. They're better off with someone else. I can't give them what they need."

"It's not just your children, RaNelle. You have things to do - things that aren't finished yet."

"No, I'm better off here. I don't want to go through all that." I pointed to my body. "I refuse. I want to
stay here." I sensed my grandmother's awareness that time was growing short. "You must go," she
said. "Your mission isn't complete."
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9. RaNelle Meets Her Future Son Nathaniel

"No, I'm not returning to that body! I'm not going back." In response, my grandmother swept out her
arm and commanded: "Look!" A rift opened in the space before us, and I saw a young man walking
toward us. At first he didn't seem to understand why he was there. Then he saw me and looked
stunned. "Why are you here?" he said almost in disbelief.

As I remained silent, his disbelief changed to grief, and he began crying. I felt his grief, his sadness,
and I too began crying. What's the matter?" I asked. "Why are you crying?" I put my arms around
him, trying to comfort him.

"Why are you here?" he repeated. Then I understood that my refusal to go back to Earth was causing
his sadness. I belonged on Earth for him, I understood, and I immediately felt guilt for my selfishness.
His name was Nathaniel, and he hadn't been born on Earth yet. He said that if I didn't go back, his
own mission would be hindered. Then he showed me his mission, and I saw that I was to open doors
for him, to help him, to encourage him. "I will complete as much of my mission as I can," he said, "but
I will never fulfill it without you. I need you."

I thought my heart would break. I was a part of his puzzle, and I was hurting him and everyone he
would help by refusing to go back to Earth. I felt a great love for this young man, and I wanted to help
him in every way I could. "Oh, Nathaniel," I said, "I swear to you that I will help you. I will go back,
and I promise that I will do everything I can to do my part. I will open those doors for you. I will
protect and encourage you. I will give you everything I have. Nathaniel, you will complete your
mission. I love you."

His grief was replaced with gratitude. His face lit up, and I saw the great spirit he was. He was crying
now with gratitude and joy. "Thank you," he said. "Oh, I love you."

My grandmother took my hand and drew me away. Nathaniel watched me leave, still smiling, and I
distinctly heard him say, "I love you, Mom." My spirit was thrilled, but I couldn't respond to him, as
things began happening very quickly.

"RaNelle," Grandmother said, "there is one more thing I need to say to you. Tell everybody that the
key is love."

"The key is love," she repeated. "The key is love," she said a third time. Then she let go of my hand,
and the word love reverberated in my mind as I left her and fell into a deep blackness. I was crying as
I left the world of light and glory and love. The last thing I saw was her outstretched hand.
David Oakford's Near-Death Experience

In early summer of 1979, David Oakford was 20 years old and having problems dealing with his life
situation. His childhood was not designed to enable him to properly deal with life in general. He had
no self-esteem and everything he did to find peace within just did not work. He was pretty miserable
then and felt lost and unloved. He turned to drugs and alcohol. He needed to find the peace within
himself and he felt it calling him. It was at a party that David had an overdose of drugs and had a
near-death experience. His near-death experience is one of the most profound you will ever read.
The following is his near-death experience testimony which also appears in Kevin Williams' book
Nothing Better Than Death.

Table of Contents

1. David's Date With Destiny

2. Traveling Through the Afterlife Realms

3. David's Profound Life Review and Lessons Learned

4. Insights from David's NDE

5. Kevin Williams' Book Review of David's Book

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1. David's Date With Destiny

I laid down to use the stability of the Earth in an effort to maintain a hold on reality. I knew I had to
do that in order to be able to come back down.
The next thing I knew I was riding in my friend's car. I thought we went up north, crossed the
Mackinaw Bridge and came back again. We rode past my childhood home and I saw my parents
sitting on the porch.

I felt drawn to the trees. I could see and feel their strength. I saw their roots going deep into the
ground. I mean I actually saw the tree roots physically reaching below the ground. I told my friends
about the car ride after the experience and they told me that the only place I went was to the chair
they carried me to after I passed out on the porch.

I did wake up in the chair my friends say they put me in a bit later. When I woke up I could feel the
organs in my body working, each one separately as well as all together. I could not see my friends
anywhere. I could see in all the rooms of the house at the same time. The stereo was playing the
Doors 'Absolutely Live' album, except the volume was way too loud for me. Since I did not see any of
my friends around I got up and tried to turn the music down, but could not. No matter what I did the
music kept playing. I knew the stereo too. I had a real problem with the noise. It was tearing at me
and I could not figure out why nor could I adjust the volume.

I called out to my friends and nobody came. I tried to unplug the stereo but that did not work either.
Every time I tried to touch the cord to unplug it I could not grasp it. It just kept on playing 'LA
Woman' and the sound rattled my very being.

I ran all over the house calling for my friends, yelling repeatedly that the music was too loud but I was
not heard. I pleaded for the music to be turned down. I tried to go outside but I could not feel the
doorknob. I could see the daylight outside but could not go outside. I ended up hiding in the
bathroom in an unsuccessful attempt to escape the noise. I looked in the mirror and could not see
myself. That frightened me greatly.
I went back into the family room and saw my body sitting in the chair. It looked like I was sleeping. I
wondered how I could be looking at myself. I got a bit scared then because I could see me from
outside of me, from all different angles except from the inside angle I was used to seeing myself.

I was alone. I was confused and very scared. I tried to get back into my body but could not. I could
not touch the ground either. I was floating. I rose up into a spot above my body and kind of just hung
there. I could no longer move. I called out for help and nobody came. I tried to go out the door but
like the stereo I could not touch the doorknob. I was scared and alone and did not know what to do. I
did not understand what was happening to me.

I asked God to help me. I did believe in God then, but I was kind of angry at him because of the
crappy life I was experiencing. I reasoned that if God were really the omnipotent and omniscient
being I was taught he was he would not have let me experience the pain I had experienced
throughout my life. I thought that if there was a time I needed God, it was now! I was not
disappointed with the result of my plea for help.

I looked over by the door to the outside and saw a beautiful being standing there. His feet did not
touch the floor. His feet just blended into thin air. He looked both female and male and was young. I
could not tell his/her sex. His hair was curly and he was about my height. He had this glow about him
too. The glow was green close to him, then blue, then pure white in the upper areas. He said, 'I am
here to help you' but when he spoke his mouth did not move. I did not actually hear him speak with
my ears. I felt what he was saying.

When I saw this being and he spoke to me, I was no longer afraid. I actually felt peace and comfort
like I had never felt before. I felt the peace I was searching for throughout my entire life. The feeling
was very familiar to me, like I had felt it before but not in this life.
This wonderful being called me by a name I do not remember. I told him he must have the wrong guy
and that the name he used for me was not my name. He laughed and said that I was a great 'master'
and that I had just forgotten who I was. I did not believe him, because I did not really know for sure
what a 'master' was then and if I were this great master I would not have had all the problems I had. I
felt that I was an evil being because that is what I was told in my life several times by many.

He told me his name, but I do not remember it. He told me that he had been with me always and
told me that he knew that I had a very hard life and that he would help me understand why if I really
wanted to. He told me that he would help me remember who I am. He said that he would
understand if I did not believe him and offered to prove to me that he knew everything about me.

He told me things that I did when I as a child that proved to me that he was always with me. He told
me about things I had only thought about. He told me that I could go anywhere I wanted to go and
that he would show me how to do it if I wanted him to. He said that if I needed to come back and see
my body I could. My body would be fine because I was still connected to it somehow.

When we spoke to each other we did so telepathically. The expression on his face was a happy one
all the time.

I told him that I would like to see the pyramids in Egypt as well as the southwest United States. He
told me that all I had to do was trust him, think about where I wanted to go, and we would go. I
thought about the pyramids and we were there in an instant. I do not know why I chose the
pyramids, the thought just popped into me so I went with that. While we were there he told me
some things about the pyramids and Egypt that I do not remember now. I really wish I could
remember what he explained while we were there because I do know it was highly significant and
had to do with humanity's future.
When we finished in Egypt, we went to the southwest United States but flew there slowly so I could
see sights along the way. I wanted to see this planet with the eyes I had then. I saw the countries of
the Far East and the Pacific Ocean. Night was falling in the southwest US and I could see what the
being told me was energy emanating from almost everything I could see, especially the plant and
animal life. The energy was strongest in the areas of the land and sea that had the least amount of
humans.

The energy was the lowest in areas where there were man-made structures, the cities of the world.
The energy I saw came from the human beings that lived in the cities. It was explained to me that
humans are the basic producers of energy in cities because of their relatively low vibration level the
energy is lower in general. I could see the higher sources of energy in the cities though. I was shown
people who had higher energy levels and some of them actually talked to the being I was with. I saw
dark souls during the time the being and I spent on Gaia. The dark souls were earthbound spirits who
refuse to go to the light. They prey on the energies of humans still in human form and try to use
those souls to prevent the evolution of spirit. I was told I was protected from these dark ones as long
as I chose to focus on the love in me. The dark ones did not even try to affect us, in fact they gave us
nasty looks and went away. I was told I would know these dark ones when I see them and I was told
to tell them to go to the light. The light is a porthole to the place all souls go if they choose.

I could see energy around the humans too, all different levels and colors. The being explained the
human energy to me. He said that the energy coming from humans is what spirits use to evaluate the
spiritual condition of particular humans. He said the lighter and more brilliant the color the more
advanced the spirit is. He said that seeing the "aura" around a spirit is useful in determining how
much a particular spirit needs to work on his development. He said the higher beings know where to
go and what to do to help an earthbound soul so they may advance themselves if they so choose. He
told me that all souls have this energy, this is why I could see it on every human I saw. He said that I
was of the same energy type as he but my vibration is lower when I am in human form and that in
time my energy would raise to match his intensity provided I chose to take the initiative to
consciously evolve my soul.

He told me that there is much to this planet that spirits can see which humans do not see with their
eyes because their vibrations are so low. He showed me life in the trees that I could see as a spirit
but could not see in my human form.
He explained that beings of higher vibration do live on Earth but they are not human, they are part of
Earth itself. He explained these beings were the caretakers of physical life on the planet. He said that
these beings take care of what we call nature. There are beings that take care of the plant life, the
mineral life and the waterborne life. These lower echelon beings work together to ensure that all
aspects of nature is protected and remains healthy. When the planet was evolving, these ethereal
beings were the ones that kept the balance of nature.

He explained to me that the planet that we call Earth really has a proper name. He told me the Earth
is really called 'Gaia.' He said Gaia has its own energy and that Gaia is really a true living being. I
asked if this energy could be seen and he said that we have to be away from Gaia to appreciate and
see it. He said humans are the ones who can manipulate Gaia's energy through their choices. He said
if humans choose to live in harmony with the energy on Gaia, it is good for Gaia. He said if humans
abuse Gaia, they hurt Gaia by altering its energy structure. I was given an example of how humans
have deforested the planet and reduced the energy available faster than it could be replenished. He
said Gaia was very strong but has been weakened considerably since humans have chosen to use the
resources in a manner inconsistent with the laws of the universe.

I asked him if we could go into space and see Gaia's energy and he said yes. He said there were no
limits on where we could go. I concentrated my thought, trusted, and we then went into what is
known as space.

Away from this planet I could see Gaia all at once. It was so beautiful. I could see the aura around
Gaia. The aura affected me greatly. I felt a deep love for this beautiful place. I could hear Gaia move
and was told the sound was the energy flowing in and out of Gaia. My special being told me that Gaia
is the most unique planet because it is designed for humans to live on forever. It was created for a
spirit to play, learn, and grow. He said the balance of nature on Gaia allows a spirit to be in human
form when a spirit lives in harmony with nature.

Nature exists to compensate for the decreased vibration and was created for spirits to adapt enough
to adjust and be in the physical human body while still having access to energy that will help them
advance. He explained that humans were designed by God to live eternally on Gaia and are not
supposed to 'die.' He said that 'dying' is a human created Earth term that means little in the world of
spirit. The reason that humans supposedly die is that they have fallen away from the balance of
nature and allow themselves to be affected by what they create that violate the natural laws of the
universe. He said that humans have fallen away from living in balance with nature. He said they must
relearn about the harmonic balance if they want to survive as a race and live on Gaia forever. He said
it was still possible for humans to learn about this harmony and that it is the next overall goal of
humans on Gaia. I was told that humans would eventually realize they must restore the harmony but
great damage will be inflicted before humans will fully realize what they have been doing to Gaia and
work to reverse what they have done.

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2. Traveling Through the Afterlife Realms

We traveled past all of the planets in our solar system. Near each planet I could hear the energy just
like on Gaia. I saw the auras around each one of them too. I saw spirits on all of them as well. My
friend told me that all planets are places for spirits to live, learn and thus evolve. I saw great cities on
each and every one of those planets. It was explained that other life in the universe is not readily
seen because the beings were all of higher vibration and most spirits in human form have yet to
attain the higher vibration required to see them.

The being told me that each planet has a theme for learning and that any of them can be chosen by a
soul when we are between physical lives. He said we practice on the other planets to be ready to live
on Gaia. He said Gaia is the ultimate experience for a soul. It is ultimate because our souls evolve
faster here than anywhere else. It was said that the lessons we need to learn are difficult to learn
without having a physical form.

He explained how we pick a physical life on Gaia. He explained to me that I picked the parents I was
born to so that I could learn what I needed to learn to grow enough to come back and do spirit work
on Gaia after I attain a certain level of growth. He said that I was being told all of these things so that
I could help souls come together and return Gaia to harmony.
He explained some things to me about God that I do not remember. They had to do with the
universe and the size and structure of it. I do remember he said that God is not to be seen for he is
everywhere. He told me that God loves Gaia deeply, much as a man loves his wife.

He talked about Jesus too. He told me Jesus was a master God sent to Earth to teach humans how to
act toward each other and find their way back to the path of harmony with each other as well as with
Gaia.

I was told that Jesus is the being that is entrusted by God to ensure that souls evolve. He said that
Jesus is of the highest in vibration than any other soul. He said that God holds Jesus in the highest of
favor because he was the best example of what humans need to do. I then got to see Jesus. I saw his
light. Jesus' light was the purest I have ever seen. There was no need for words. There were only love
feelings that I cannot even begin to describe.

I was told that loving one another is what souls need to do in order for peace and harmony to be the
standard on Gaia.

I was told that there is a hierarchy in the universe that is dedicated to preserving the harmony of the
universe. I was told that humans are an integral part of this harmony and that the free will we have is
a part of souls that allows humans to provide service to the universe.

After he explained those things to me I was able to see our whole solar system all at once in full
color. The planets were all in a line and I could see all of them from Pluto to the sun. I felt very
blessed and very important. I was given this great gift and I did not really understand why. There I
floated, a being that went out his way to inflict pain on other souls, yet I was never asked about what
I had done. In fact I was given the honor of being given answers to questions most people wonder
about all of their lives.
I thanked this loving being for explaining and showing me what he did. He told me that there was
more for him to show me if I was ready to experience it. I told him I was ready. I did not know why I
was chosen but I was not about to question why. It just seemed small to me then.

We started to head back toward Gaia. We went to a place in the shadow of Gaia. It was a great city in
the clouds. The city had these beautiful white buildings as far as I could see. I saw spirits living there
all of which had vibration but no real physical body. These inhabitants went to and from the buildings
- going to work and play too. I saw a place where spirits went to get what I thought was water. There
were no vehicles there. Spirits seemed to get around the same way my being and I got around, by
flying.

The city had no boundaries that I could see. This was a place full of life of all kinds. There was nature
there, many pure plants, trees, and water just like on Gaia but more pure. Nature there was
absolutely perfect. It was untainted by human manipulation. This place was just like Gaia only
without the problems and negativity. I felt that this was what is called heaven in Earth terms.

I saw spirits going to and from the Gaia and the city. I could tell the development of the spirits going
to and from by the energy they emanated. I could see that animals came to and from Earth just like
humans do. I could see many spirits leave Gaia with guides and could see spirits returning to Gaia
without guides. The being told me that some of the spirits passing were the ones that were doing the
work with humans on Gaia. I could make out the type of spirits that were doing the work and the
spirits that were coming to the great city to become replenished to eventually go back to Gaia to
experience and further evolve. I could feel the emotions of the ones coming back for replenishment. I
could feel that some of them were sad, beaten and scared, much like I felt before my being came to
me.
My being took me into one of the larger buildings. Inside I saw many spirits working. They were doing
things similar to jobs on Earth. When we walked by the spirits, they looked at me. I think they were
checking me out because of the being I was with.

We went upstairs and I saw spirits that knew me. They greeted me and asked me how I was doing.
They gave me advice of which I do not remember. I thought I was going to be given a job there, but
the being knew I thought that and told me that there was something I needed to do first.

I was ecstatic. I was in heaven despite everything I had done during my life on Gaia. I was
experiencing what most people only dream about. The love I felt there was the same love I felt when
I saw Jesus. I had been searching on Gaia for what was really the same place I was in then. I was
searching on Gaia for the feeling I was feeling that very moment. I had found what I spent my whole
life searching for. I was truly happy. I was home and I knew it. I was ready to stay and do whatever
work I was given to do.

My being took me to another building that was special. It was bigger than the rest and had the
greenest foliage I had ever seen growing on it, decorating it like a shrine. We went inside a set of
double doors that glowed with life. The inside was decorated with a wood paneling that the being
told me was "living" wood from the trees that grew at this wonderful place. He led me to some big
double doors and told me to wait on this bench while he went inside.

A bit later he came out of the room. He told me to go into the room and said he would wait for me
and to not worry. He cautioned me to ensure that I was truthful with the beings in the room. He said
they were not judges, rather they were the ones who evaluated a soul's development based on a
soul's history. He told me to remember who I was and to refrain from fear. I knew I had to leave this
being sooner or later but I was glad that he would wait for me. I was a little scared to leave him, but I
felt that I was protected and knew that I would be protected here.

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3. David's Profound Life Review and Lessons Learned

I went in and saw a group of several spirits seated at a table. The table was made of the glowing
wood and was perfect in every way. The spirits around this table had the highest vibration I had seen
so far with the exception of Jesus.

I looked at these beings and recognized them. I do not know where I recognized them from, but they
all had a familiarity about them. They just looked at me.

All of a sudden, I saw my parents on Earth before I was born. I saw how they came to be together
and watched them have my brother and sister before me. I saw their positive and negative sides and
evaluated them according to what I knew I needed to do on Gaia. The beings asked me how and why
I picked these particular parents and asked me to tell them. They said I knew how and why I picked
them and asked me to tell them why. I do not know where it came from but I did tell them how and
why and they agreed with me. I picked them to help them on their path as well as to achieve my
learning.

I saw my soul go to my mother and go inside of her. I saw myself being born from an observer
standpoint as well as having the actual experience. I proceeded to see my entire life from the
observer point of view and from the points of view of those my actions affected. I felt the feelings
they felt that directly resulted from things I had done to them. I saw both the positive and the
negative things I had done as they had truly happened, nothing was left out or presented
inaccurately.

I experienced the harshness of being born again. I experienced leaving heaven and the transit to
Gaia. I saw myself as a helpless infant who needed his mother for everything. I experienced my
father's love as well as his anger. I experienced my mothers love, her fear and her anger as well. I saw
all of the good and bad from my childhood years and re-experienced what I had done then. I felt all
of my emotions and the emotions of the souls I had hurt as well as loved. From all of this I learned
that it matters deeply what choices I make on Gaia.
I learned just how powerful we humans are and how we can affect each other in positive and
negative ways. It was amazing to see how my innocent actions had such a powerful effect on souls
that I had no idea I was affecting. The experience was one that I will never forget. I experienced the
whole spectrum of feelings of my life in a relatively short period of time as we humans see it. Where I
was, time did not really exist.

I could see how I became what I had become on Gaia and why I became that way. Everything I did in
my life affected the evolution of the souls around me. I saw the reasons for all of my actions and
understood why I did what I had done. There was a place for all of my positive and negative actions.
There was no action that was necessarily wrong, but there were actions I took that did not enhance
positive growth. I was both a victim and a beneficiary of my actions. This was not a fun experience to
go through. I could see how wonderful it could be if one chose to act to affect other souls positively
most of the time.

Afterward, the beings in the room asked me questions about what I saw and how I felt about my life
up to then. I knew that I had to provide an honest assessment - I could not lie. I hesitated when they
asked me whether I affected others more positively than negatively. I thought about lying.

These beings knew what I was thinking and I had to tell them that I felt that I could have done a
better job on Gaia. I knew what I had come to Gaia to accomplish and was well on my way to doing
that but I knew I was not finished yet. They agreed and told me that I still had many things to do and
that I may want to go back and do them. I was told it was understood how difficult it would be for me
but it was necessary for the universe for me to finish.

They said that it may be wise to go back and live my life how I had originally planned it.
They said I had set lofty goals for my life on Gaia and the events in my life were achieving the goals I
had set.

They said that I originally came to Gaia to learn and share with others using the gifts that I have
accumulated over several lifetimes.

They said that I am needed on Gaia to help souls bring themselves and Gaia back to harmony.

They said that I have great potential to affect other souls, to help them grow and that Gaia is the best
place to do that. I was told that the events I had experienced thus far were preparing me to make a
large contribution to the universe and that my experiences were not to be considered personal
attacks in any way. I did not want to accept that, I wanted to stay, I told them that.

I told them I was tired and wanted to stay because life on Gaia is hard and unforgiving. I felt that
going back would be dangerous for the universe because I was not advanced enough in my spiritual
evolution. They said that was precisely why it would be in my best interest to go back to Gaia.

They said I was more advanced than I give myself credit for.
They said that it was possible for me to stay but I would need to finish my work on Gaia sooner or
later. The type of work I was destined for can only be done on Gaia. I could stay if chose to but I
would only be prolonging the completion of what I needed to do for this universe.

They explained the fastest way to finish my work would be to go back to Gaia as soon as possible.

I was stunned to say the least. I resorted to bargaining but it was no use. I still did not like living on
Gaia and did not really want to go back. These beings understood me but remained firm. I had a
decision to make that was really the hardest decision I would ever make.

I did come back to Gaia and am now living the life that I was (later in the experience) told I would
live. Believe it or not, I ended up shelving this experience away, classifying it as a really vivid "trip." It
was not until I evolved more that I realized the gift I was given.

I share this experience now because I feel it can, if so chosen, spur thought and foster choices that
affect the planet in a positive way.

If I learned anything from this experience it was that every choice I make is duly recorded, noted and
will return later, when I leave here again.

My goal is to save people the pain that I felt in my review and hasten the evolution of humans on
Gaia, helping Gaia as well as the universe.
Again, I wish you all of the love I feel in my heart and I give this love to you.

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4. Insights from David's NDE

I am one who had a near-death experience and was given a choice to return to this planet in a
physical sense again. I chose to return out of love for this planet, a love so great that I would give up
the slot I have 'back home.' I did this also in order to help to heal the place through the sharing of
what I was shown of the in-between and through the choices I make, (hopefully loving and kind
ones).

Without the free will to return I would not be here in the physical doing what I am doing. The
physical pain, war, poverty, pestilence, horror, rape, murder, abandonment etc, etc, etc. that is here
on this planet is the result of humans coming here and making their free choices in order to learn and
evolve. Unfortunately learning does tend to create a mess at times and the physical pain etc. etc.. is a
part of that mess. It makes sense to me that the same free choice concept is instrumental in cleaning
up the mess.

I liken it to camping and choosing to clean up or not clean up the mess one makes. If you choose to
clean up your mess, this helps the planet to stay as is because one does not contribute to the mess. If
one does not clean up it adds to the mess. If one cleans up their own mess and then some it
contributes to healing the planet.

In my near-death experience I was also shown that there are many souls in 'heaven' who are more
than willing to come to this place regardless of the state it is in. I was shown that if I did not choose
to return I would be in the schools that exist in heaven, working toward the growth I need to
accomplish regardless of the form I am in. That was an attractive choice to be sure except that I had a
problem with how long it would take me to grow enough to do what my soul wishes to do. (I have a
burning desire to experience other places in other universes and to do that I need to grow more.)
The prerequisite for that is ensuring that my soul has the IQ for it.

It is my understanding that a soul can choose to remain in heaven and operate on the level he/she
(whatever) is on to infinity, but I seek more because I know without doubt that there is more.

At any rate, the idea remains that for this place to start feeling and looking like heaven is to create
the love felt there here. I would like to see that on this planet and I know it can be done. If I need to, I
will come back here all over again to make it happen.

David Oakford's book "Soul Bared: A Metaphysical Journey" describes his journey to find life's
meaning which culminated with an extremely profound near-death experience for which he gained
deep spiritual insights. His near-death experience is one of a few near-death experiences that has
really had a profound impact on my life and I have read thousands of near-death experiences. David's
book has greatly enhanced my life and my own journey. I rank David's "Soul Bared" right up there
with the great NDE books such as Betty Eadie's "Embraced By The Light" and Dr. George Ritchie's
"Return From Tomorrow". David's book stands out even more from these great books because
David's "Soul Bared" describes the journey in metaphysical terms which Eadie and Ritchie could not
describe in their books. David's journey will greatly enhance and enlighten your own metaphysical
journey. You will discover his near-death experience to be one of the most detailed and insightful
near-death experiences ever documented. I highly recommend his book for everyone and especially
to anyone who has recently lost a loved one. David's "Soul Bared" will speak to your own soul and
confirm in your heart and mind that life truly does go on after death and that it is a beautiful
experience. David's book is just what is needed for this world. It is a beacon of light shining in a dark
world and it couldn't have been published at a more urgent time in human history. David has the
secret that can unite this world as one and bring universal unconditional love to all humanity. I
believe this book is destined to become a classic and a great source of inspiration to people all over
the world. This world certainly needs more love and David's "Soul Bared" contains the formula to
shine the light of love in the hearts of all. It is a book whose time has come. It is a message from the
very light of heaven. Everyone needs to read this book! -- Kevin Williams
"Mellen-Thomas Benedict is an artist who survived a near-death experience (NDE) in 1982. He was
dead for over an hour and a half. During that time, he rose up out of his body and went into the light.
Curious about the universe, he was taken far into the remote depths of existence, and even beyond,
into the energetic void of nothingness behind the Big Bang.

Eminent near-death experience researcher Dr. Kenneth Ring has said, "His near-death experience
story is one of the most remarkable I have encountered in my extensive research on near-death
experiences."

In 1982, I died from terminal cancer. My condition was non-operable. I chose not to have
chemotherapy. I was given six to eight months to live. Before this time, I had become increasingly
despondent over the nuclear crisis, the ecology crisis, and so forth. I came to believe that nature had
made a mistake – that we were probably a cancerous organism on the planet. And that is what
eventually killed me.

Before my near-death experience, I tried all sorts of alternative healing methods. None helped. So I
determined that this was between me and God. I had never really considered God. Neither was I into
any kind of spirituality. But my approaching death sent me on a quest for more information about
spirituality and alternative healing. I read various religions and philosophies. They gave hope that
there was something on the other side.

I had no medical insurance, so my life savings went overnight on tests. Unwilling to drag my family
into this, I was determined to handle this myself. I ended up in hospice care and was blessed with an
angel for my hospice caretaker, whom I will call "Anne." She stayed with me through all that was to
follow.
Into the Light

I woke up about 4:30 am and I knew that this was it. I was going to die. I called a few friends and said
good-bye. I woke up Anne and made her promise that my dead body would remain undisturbed for
six hours, since I had read that all kinds of interesting things happen when you die. I went back to
sleep. The next thing I remember, I was fully aware and standing up. Yet my body was lying in the
bed. I seemed to be surrounded by darkness, yet I could see every room in the house, and the roof,
and even under the house.

A Light shone. I turned toward it, and was aware of its similarity to what others have described in
near-death experiences. It was magnificent and tangible, alluring. I wanted to go towards that Light
like I might want to go into my ideal mother's or father's arms. As I moved towards the Light, I knew
that if I went into the Light, I would be dead. So I said/felt, "Please wait. I would like to talk to you
before I go."

The entire experience halted. I discovered that I was in control of the experience. My request was
honored. I had conversations with the Light. That's the best way I can describe it. The Light changed
into different figures, like Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, archetypal images and signs. I asked in a kind of
telepathy, "What is going on here?"

The information transmitted was that our beliefs shape the kind of feedback we receive. If you are a
Buddhist or Catholic or Fundamentalist, you get a feedback loop of your own images. I became aware
of a Higher Self matrix, a conduit to the Source. We all have a Higher Self, or an oversoul part of our
being, a conduit. All Higher Selves are connected as one being. All humans are connected as one
being.

It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. It was like all the love you've ever wanted, and it
was the kind of love that cures, heals, regenerates. I was ready to go at that time. I said "I am ready,
take me." Then the Light turned into the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen: a mandala of
human souls on this planet. I saw that we are the most beautiful creations – elegant, exotic ...
everything.

I just cannot say enough about how it changed my opinion of human beings in an instant. I
said/thought/felt, "Oh, God, I didn't realize." I was astonished to find that there was no evil in any
soul. People may do terrible things out of ignorance and lack, but no soul is evil. "What all people
seek – what sustains them – is love," the Light told me. "What distorts people is a lack of love."

The revelations went on and on. I asked, "Does this mean that Humankind will be saved?" Like a
trumpet blast with a shower of spiraling lights, the Light "spoke," saying, "You save, redeem and heal
yourself. You always have and always will. You were created with the power to do so from before the
beginning of the world." In that instant I realized that we have already been saved.
I thanked the Light of God with all my heart. The best thing I could come up with was: "Oh dear God,
dear Universe, dear Great Self, I love my Life." The Light seemed to breathe me in even more deeply,
absorbing me. I entered into another realm more profound than the last, and was aware of an
enormous stream of Light, vast and full, deep. I asked what it was. The Light answered, "This is the
River of Life. Drink of this manna water to your heart's content." I drank deeply, in ecstasy.

The Void of Nothingness

Suddenly I seemed to be rocketing away from the planet on this stream of Life. I saw the earth fly
away. The solar system whizzed by and disappeared. I flew through the center of the galaxy,
absorbing more knowledge as I went. I learned that this galaxy – and the entire Universe – is bursting
with many different varieties of life. I saw many worlds. We are not alone in this Universe. It seemed
as if all the creations in the Universe soared past me and vanished in a speck of Light.

Then a second Light appeared. As I passed into the second Light, I could perceive forever, beyond
Infinity. I was in the Void, pre-Creation, the beginning of time, the first Word or vibration. I rested in
the Eye of Creation and it seemed that I touched the Face of God. It was not a religious feeling. I was
simply at One with Absolute Life and Consciousness.

I rode the stream directly into the center of the Light. I felt embraced by the Light as it took me in
with its breath again. And the truth was obvious that there is no death; that nothing is born and
nothing dies; that we are immortal beings, part of a natural living system that recycles itself
endlessly.

It would take me years to assimilate the Void experience. It was less than nothing, yet greater than
anything. Creation is God exploring God's Self through every way imaginable. Through every piece of
hair on your head, through every leaf on every tree, through every atom. God is exploring God's Self.
I saw everything as the Self of all. God is here. That's what it is all about. Everything is made of light;
everything is alive.

The Light of Love

I was never told that I had to come back. I just knew that I would. It was only natural, from what I had
seen. As I began my return to the life cycle, it never crossed my mind, nor was I told, that I would
return to the same body. It did not matter. I had complete trust in the Light and the Life process.

As the stream merged with the great Light, I asked never to forget the revelations and the feelings of
what I had learned on the other side. I thought of myself as a human again and I was happy to be
that. From what I have seen, I would be happy to be an atom in this universe. An atom. So to be the
human part of God ... this is the most fantastic blessing. It is a blessing beyond our wildest
imagination of what a blessing can be.

For each and every one of us to be the human part of this experience is awesome, and magnificent.
Each and every one of us, no matter where we are, screwed up or not, is a blessing to the planet,
right where we are. So I went through the reincarnation process expecting to be a baby somewhere.
But I reincarnated back into this body. I was so surprised when I opened my eyes, to be back in this
body, back in my room with someone looking over me, crying her eyes out. It was Anne, my hospice
caretaker. She had found me dead thirty minutes before. We do not know how long I was dead, only
that she found me thirty minutes before. She had honored my wish to have my newly-dead body left
alone. She can verify that I really was dead.

It was not a near-death experience. I believe I probably experienced death itself for at least an hour
and a half. When I later awakened and saw the light outside, confused, I tried to get up to go to it,
but I fell out of the bed. She heard a loud "clunk", ran in, and found me on the floor. When I
recovered, I was surprised and awed about what had happened. I had no memory at first of the
experience. I kept slipping out of this world and kept asking, "Am I alive?" This world seemed more
like a dream than that one.

Within three days, I was feeling normal again, clearer, yet different than ever before. My memories
of the journey came back later. But from my return I could find nothing wrong with any human being
I had ever seen. Previous to my death I was judgmental, believing that people were really screwed
up.

About three months later a friend said I should get tested for the cancer. So I got the scans and so
forth. I felt healthy. I still remember the doctor at the clinic looking at the "before" and "after" scans.
He said, "I can find no sign of cancer now." "A miracle?" I asked. "No," he answered. "These things
happen ... spontaneous remission." He seemed unimpressed. But I was impressed. I knew it was a
miracle.

Lessons Learned

I asked God: "What is the best religion on the planet? Which one is right?" God said with great love:
"It doesn't matter." What an incredible grace. It does not matter what religion we are. Religions
come and they go. They change. Buddhism has not been here forever, Catholicism has not been here
forever, and they are all about to become more enlightened. More light is coming into all systems
now. Many will resist and fight about it, one religion against the next, believing that only they are
right.

When God said, "It doesn't matter," I understood that it is for us to care about, because we are the
caring beings. The Source does not care if you are Protestant, Buddhist, or Jew. Each is a reflection, a
facet of the whole. I wish that all religions would realize it and let each other be. It is not the end of
separate religions, but live and let live. Each has a different view, and it all adds up to the big picture.

I went over to the other side with a lot of fears about toxic waste, nuclear missiles, the population
explosion, the rain forest. I came back loving every single problem. I love nuclear waste. I love the
mushroom cloud; this is the holiest mandala that we have manifested to date, as an archetype. More
than any religion or philosophy on Earth, that terrible, wonderful cloud brought us together all of a
sudden, to a new level of consciousness.
Knowing that maybe we can blow up the planet fifty times, or 500 times, we finally realize that
maybe we are all here together now. For a period, they had to keep setting off more bombs to get it
into us. Then we started saying, "we do not need this any more." Now we are actually in a safer
world than we have ever been in, and it is going to get even safer.

So I came back loving toxic waste, because it brought us together. These things are so big. Clearing of
the rain forest will slow down, and in fifty years there will be more trees on the planet than in a long
time. If you are into ecology, go for it; you are that part of the system that is becoming aware. Go for
it with all your might, but do not be depressed or disheartened. Earth is in the process of
domesticating itself, and we are cells on that Body. Population increase is getting very close to the
optimal range of energy to cause a shift in consciousness. That shift in consciousness will change
politics, money, energy, and more.

The Great Mystery of life has little to do with intelligence. The Universe is not an intellectual process.
The intellect is helpful; but our hearts are the wiser part of ourselves. Since my return I have
experienced the Light spontaneously. I have learned how to get to that space almost any time in my
meditation. You can also do this. You don't have to die first. You are wired for it already. The body is
the most magnificent Light being there is. The body is a universe of incredible Light. We don't need
to commune with God; God is already communing with us in every moment!"

NDE Submitted to NDERF:

Next thing I knew, I was standing over the doctor watching them work on me, I wasn't scared I was
fascinated. I could see everyone. I knew they were working on me, they seemed extremely hurried,
and I remember it amused me because I was no longer in pain. I remember being pulled backwards
and when I turned I was in an earthy tunnel and a door was before me that opened into a
spectacular light. The light was brilliant, but it did not hurt! As I passed into it, it glowed with warmth,
love, knowledge, and understanding. Not just my own knowledge but knowledge of everything. I had
complete understanding, collective but separate. Everything made sense. Everything was more vivid,
the colors were brighter and deeper, everything was tranquil and at peace the moment I crossed into
the light.

I was now standing in a lush rolling meadow, covered with blooms and trees. I felt a presence strong
and even more wonderful; I knew my family was with me. The presence had a deep resonating voice
that touched the core of your soul. I don't remember what the voice told me, but the peace and calm
seemed to magnify. I remember sitting in the meadow, I was cradling something in my arms, asking
to cross a small free flowing stream, and not being allowed, I asked to stay. I did not want to go back.
I knew the peace, warmth and light could not follow me back. I tried to walk toward the stream, but
then I was being pulled down and backwards through the door. I remember leaving the warm glow of
the light and being filled with immense sadness as all of the knowledge and peace left me, my senses
dimmed, and my vision seemed muddied compared to the brilliant vibrancy of the meadow. I was
angry, mad. I felt the air being knocked out of me as I hit my body and the pain returned.

I remember the nurse saying she's back and I started sobbing telling them I didn't want to come back,
begging for them to send me back to the light. The nurse just kept saying stay with us. Don't close
your eyes just stay with us, and she was holding my hand. When I think about it I am filled with an
extreme since of grief and loss but I know that I will be returning someday and then they will let me
cross the stream."

https://goo.gl/TWJb4N

„I miscarried the baby in the hospital and though I was very sad about the event, I felt that all was
meant to be. As if I've never wanted to name the Divine as I would like to refer to Him as: The Great
Presence.

Two nurses came to take me up a few stairs to for an internal exam. As we went up I felt myself
begin to reel backwards and off I went round and round through space. I stopped spinning and began
flying past planets and stars, I flew through the rings of Saturn seeing massive rocks and dust
particles right before my eyes, I was marveling at the astounding beauty and laughing about how no
one on Earth would believe my experience. It all felt so wonderful, so exactly perfect, I was an
astronaut, a fabulous free spirit of joy! I was filled with indescribable joy and love for all of creation
from the vastness of space to the smallest of all nano-expressions!

Then suddenly I was above my body, which lay on a stretcher, wearing a white hospital gown, I
looked at my body and knew it wasn't the real me, it was the thing I had been caught inside, and now
I was free! Oh and how I felt such happiness! The joy was all-pervading, it was the real world, pain,
suffering, loss, and all illusionary experience that we like to get all knotted up about. Everything was
becoming clear to me. Oh and the nurses were calling my name, one was crying tears, another was
saying ''oh my God, we've lost her!’ meanwhile I was above them thinking ‘what silly Billy’s, they
were making all that fuss, wondering why they couldn't see me and just know that all was perfectly
fabulous!’ Then I saw a window, which was open about 6 inches wide, and I thought, 'Wow, I wonder
if I can fit through there’, then instantly I was in another state.

I was flying through Goldenness: pure, serene, and delightful Goldenness. Oh, wow! I was held by
this serenity for the longest time, I couldn't do anything except be with It and It with me. It was inside
me. It was me. It was in and with everyone and everything. It had always been in and with
everything. It was and is Truth, Love, Compassion, Joy, and All. This Goldenness held all information.
It was the One Mind. It contained the creation of all of everything ever created. I felt, I experienced
everything that has ever been and ever shall be. All is simultaneously occurring. There is no past or
future. It all just IS.

There is no way to describe the immaculate beauty of this experience, though every day for the last
35 years I wish I could find a way. Bliss, is a mere descriptive word, yet does not give to you what I
wish I could, but yes ‘bliss’ is close, in a way. I saw and experienced every single detail of my present
life up to that moment, like watching a movie yet starring as the main character simultaneously. This
made me feel quite sad, as I had not lived my life in a state of serene joy, and felt ashamed.

Ashamed that I had not realized how imperative it is for one to be incredibly happy in this life, no
matter the circumstances. The pain, the fear: no matter what! All our material conflicts of body and
mind are quite unimportant in the state of ultimate freedom and blissful awareness to which we shall
all return. I felt I had been unfaithful to The Great Presence, who like a divinely loving Mother, who I
had let down. I was my own judge. Yet I was this love simultaneously. I saw how all of Humanity has
walked with eyes cast low to the Earth, not opening wide to the beauty of the one loving presence of
Golden peace. This peace is one in which we truly live, yet do not see. I saw how sadness overcomes
those who cannot forgive themselves or others; and on their day of an awakened mind, they too
shall be ashamed and slowly sink to a lower experience.

I saw how in being uplifted we could all ascend to the true joy together as a loving family of Beings
beyond a human life in mundane-ness. I saw how there is a level of fear so ingrained in some, it's
hard to look at, and yet they too, can find a way through to peacefulness. I saw how things will
change, yet only after massive suffering and yet I saw, too, that it is possible to end suffering. I saw
that I had a purpose and that all beings have purpose. I saw we are not separate; we are the entire
One. I saw that we must have all the courage possible to achieve this fabulous unity. It is highly
possible.

I felt and experienced all of creation as an Omni-experience, there was no time involved at any level.
I saw it is so simple it cannot be expressed; it is best to let the mind be still and then it may occur of
itself. It was such a feeling of raised joy I was in. In the distance, a Great Presence appeared which is
the most Ultimate of Holiness emanating extraordinary Brilliance! This Great Presence is the Heart of
all of everything: we are but foolish children! I put my arms out to try to fly and saw that there were
rainbows of colors: I was a rainbow being. I was made of light and color: I was overjoyed! I thought I
can fly to the Great Presence before me and unite with the purity of all that is, was, and ever shall be.
That was my heart’s desire, to be at one with the Great Presence which 'they' call God, and yet I dare
not announce a name to that which is beyond naming.

I begin to fly and move closer to that beauteous sight and begin to feel the Great Presence pervade
my very core, as if my entirety is exploding into love. Then a great powerful voice, which seems to
echo in all directions and vibrates through to my very soul, declares: ‘It is not your time’, whereupon
I feel such sorrow and in my mind, I am saying ‘No, no, no. Please don't make me go back’, for I do
not want to return to this Earth, ever again. I awake in the hospital bed two days later and cry in
heartache that I am here on Earth again. I have never felt at home here on earth. I have been alone
with this and many other amazing and profound experiences for which I struggle to find anyone to
which I can connect.

I do hope my experience is of some help, and I wish I could re-write it so I don't leave anything out,
but I am afraid that would take a long time as there is too much to explain here. But since then I have
been living as if in a double life, for no one would believe me if I told them everything I have seen."

https://goo.gl/s8oEuZ

“How can I become more clairvoyant?” I asked in meditation. The answer surprised me!

“Stop eating chicken,” I clearly heard. “Why?” I questioned, not understanding the connection.

“When you eat the animal who has suffered, you are eating the energy of suffering. This is lowering
your energy and spiritual frequencies.”

I still didn’t understand, and it took a month of research into how chickens suffered before I had my
ah-hah!!moment. I hadn’t eaten “red meat” (cow or pig) for years, mostly because of weight
concerns from their high-fat content. But I did eat chicken and fish daily, along with dairy products.
When I stopped eating chicken a month after receiving that message, I had IMMEDIATE and
profound improvements in my clairvoyance! I continued eating dairy and fish, until one day I noticed
blood in a pan in which I cooked a piece of swordfish. That’s when I realized: this blood came from a
living being! I am cooking an animal!! That was the last time I had fish.

Dairy left after my meditation message said that it was clogging my energy field and making me tired
and sluggish. I also learned about the evils of the dairy industry, who take baby cows from their
nursing mothers and stick them in small pens to become “veal.” Once I learned this, how could I
support this industry with my money? How could I ingest this energy of suffering? I happily found
wonderful dairy substitutes such as rice milk, tofu-based sour cream, and hummus instead of melted
cheese.

Next to go was leather. After all, I would NEVER wear fur! And leather was furless-fur. I also learned
that the leather industry is not a by-product of the meat industry. Cows are raised and suffer solely
for leather. The chemicals used in leather tanning factories are horrible for the environment! Much
worse than the plastic industries. Fortunately, there are LOTS of non-leather options in sources that
sell faux leather and vegan shoes and purses. And God bless designer, Stella McCartney (Paul and
Linda McCartney’s daughter), for creating gorgeous non-leather shoes and boots that are eco-
friendly, and yay! for ebay in selling Stella’s shoes at a fraction of their original price.

I’ve been a quiet vegan until the recent Taiji, Japan dolphin and whale hunts brought out the Mother
Bear within me. I campaigned and appealed to the Japanese governments to let those beloved
dolphins and whales go! PLEASE don’t kill them!!! But my appeals went on deaf ears, and today,
those amazing brothers and sisters of ours are being shoved into nets and brutally killed. It is so
painful for me to read each report from the Sea Shepherd Cove Guardians.

Then I realized: to the hunters, dolphins and whales are big tuna fish. Them killing and capturing for
zoos is no different than the horrendous way that millions of chickens, turkey, pigs, and cows are
killed each day and our wild life is put in zoos! This realization made me want to leave the planet. I
can’t even fathom how people can be so cold-hearted to kill and exploit beautiful animals!! I
thought: “How can I stay here and finish my mission amongst so much brutality?”

I prayed and meditated, and was told to educate others as to the basis and benefits of a vegan
lifestyle. That’s right: it’s not a diet, it’s a way of life.

The only way I can keep going on this planet is by trying to bring counter-balance. It’s estimated that
vegans and vegetarians save between 50 to 200 animal lives a year with their plant-based diets. They
also help the environment, because cattle is the largest consumer of water, and the largest polluter
of the ozone layer. Read: “Diet for a New America” for more information.

So I will be posting daily messages about veganism. Please know that I am not trying to make you feel
guilty and I am not judging you. I am simply presenting facts and the opinions of those whom I
respect. If you feel guilty upon reading my posts, please meditate upon why that is. If you feel I am
judging you, please meditate upon why you feel that way. You’ll find that those feelings are because
somewhere inside you, you agree with me, but you’re not ready to make the change.

Please know that I MUST teach about veganism to keep my sanity on this violent planet.

Do I believe that plants have feelings too? Absolutely! It’s one reason why I eat mostly fruits and
nuts, which don’t kill the plants themselves.
What about those who say their health depends upon eating animal products? Well, I don’t know
who is telling you that, but I would say PLEASE read The China Study book right away and then make
up your own mind. This scholarly scientific book is filled with studies that show how cancer, tumors,
and other deadly health conditions all come from eating animal products, and those same conditions
reversed when a vegan diet was introduced. Visit: thechinastudy.com

I keep telling you this, and I’ll keep repeating this: I love you! I respect you! Please love and respect
yourself.

This photo of a mother cow and her baby shows the deep love that animals feel for their family.
Doesn’t she deserve to be with her baby, just like we do? In the cruel dairy industry, her baby is
taken from her and raised in a tight pen so it won’t develop muscle. That baby is called “veal,” which
is a by-product of us spending money on milk, cheese, yogurt, and ice cream. To me, no amount of
pleasure from eating dairy is worth giving this mother and her baby pain.

NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES

They told me I had to talk to Him and pointed to a man who was off in the distance. I was
immediately in His presence and we talked at length. I couldn't hear His voice but His thoughts
instantly transferred to my consciousness and mine to His. I remember asking Him how I came to be
here. He told me that He had created me, that it was His desire for me to be there with Him. I told
Him this place was far too wonderful and I knew I had not done anything in my life to deserve being
there in that beautiful place with Him. Once again, He told me that He had created my spirit in the
beginning and had always longed for me to be there with Him! I insisted to Him that I was
undeserving of His love and that I didn't think I should be there. He began answering questions for
me. He made me understand that He created me and that He loved me so very much. His spirit
passed through my spirit with His Incredible love. I came to realize that the love I had just
experienced from my Creator was unlike any love I had ever known on Earth, even that of my
grandmother who loved me dearly. Her love could not compare with the love this Father of mine had
just revealed to me.

I knew that He had the answers to all questions so I began to ask Him things I had wondered about
the most. Why is there evil? His reply, Because there is good.' I asked how anyone, being what they
are, be permitted to exist in this home of God. He made me understand that He knew everything
about me, that I was who I was because He Himself had designed me to be exactly, precisely who I
was and that whatever I was I was still His creation, His child and He loved me so very much.

He asked me if I knew that I was dead. I said, 'Well, yes. I guess I know that I'm dead.' I asked Him,
'Please tell me. When we, your children, come into existence, do we live just one time or do we live
over and over?' He said, 'It's like this' He took me to the entrance of a hall. We stood and looked
down this long hall and there were millions and millions of doorways leading off this hall. He made
me aware that there were many choices available to me and that that choice was the very answer to
the question I had asked. The choice was up to ME. He made me understand that I could choose to
stay where I was, that I could choose to walk down that hall and pick a door. He made me aware that
picking a door would be my exit out of heaven and I would be born again out of the womb of some
woman somewhere on Earth. I asked Him, 'But how do I know what door to pick?' His reply was
merely that the door that I picked is my choice. He could not reveal what that life would be like. It
would be a mystery.

I asked Him, 'Do we HAVE to pick another door and live over and over?' That in itself would be hell to
me because what I had experienced, in large part, was very sad and distressful.

He told me some people choose to go back again and again. He doesn't want them to. He wants
them to stay with Him but He understands my feelings. He explained that when we choose to leave
Him He removes all memories of previous lives because He doesn't want us distressed. He means for
life to be a good thing for all of us. He then reiterated all my choices and again infused me with His
love. He then asked, 'Now, why would you want to leave me?' I don't remember responding. He
asked, 'Now, how do you feel about being dead?' I said that it really didn't bother me that much but
that my only regret was that I hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to my parents.

The very next thing that I became aware of, amazingly, remarkably, astoundingly - was that once
again I was in my old body without realizing I had made my choice. I chose to leave my all-loving, all-
accepting heavenly Father in order to come back and say goodbye to my parents. My God, what had I
given up? I became so horrified, distressed, and depressed beyond words. But here I was again back
in this world. I CHOSE the life I mapped out for myself. It's exactly what I got, to say goodbye to my
parents. And so the story goes. My Dad died four years later. I'm still saying goodbye to my Mom.

http://www.nderf.org/Experiences/1cathleen_c_nde.html

The one law that will never change is the law of 'Free Will' Ask and it is given, seek and ye shall find,
knock and the door is open. As my Angel guide's tell me very clearly, they will not come unless
invited. It is always about free will. Another shocker 'We are already Free' But that is to each their
choice. We are all on different levels of understanding of allowable choices and spiritual awareness
of self. It is the awareness of spirit that will lead us to the knowledge and understanding needed to
transform and transcend into places unimaginable and incomprehensible to man that 'knowing' of
the creator of life.

http://www.nderf.org/Experiences/1renee_m_nde.html

NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES

Gesturing he told me to walk forward and I would see what I would call 'a mirror'. Once in front of it,
I would understand why I didn't need a bathroom. Moving into the direction, before me was a liquid
pool of white, yet, it also appeared to be a mirror. I was completely mesmerized. There were colors -
brilliant colors everywhere. I was an array of beautiful moving, shimmering, vibrating, and colors. He
came closer and said, 'Do you understand now?' I realized I was pure energy, spirit, and part of a
flowing consciousness; while still remaining 'Denise'. At that moment, he shared his name, 'John'. As
we moved, he also shared with me what was happening.

The following is a reiteration of his words:

'Everyone has choices. Everyone has free will. How this interacts in your life, and death, and with
others, is all by choice. For instance, look at the girl who came here at the same time as you. If the
ambulance driver takes a different road to the scene, if someone decides to move her and doesn't
know what they are doing and cause more damage, if her internal organs are too crushed by the
accident by speed and timing, she will stay here. You are laying in your sons' bedroom. Your one
neighbor was given the responsibility to check on you. It is her choice, her free will. Will she find you?
Will she decide to take a shower first and be too late? Each of us always hangs in a balance, by
decisions. Not only by our own actions but by the free will and actions of others.' He finished, 'I need
to tell you, your neighbor is entering your home. She will find you. You will be going back.'

Jump ahead to 2003. On a trip with my mother and friend to Savannah Georgia, we decided to visit
the Catholic Cathedral. Upon entering the church and looking around, a short elderly man, with
twinkling grey eyes, came softly up to my right side. He took my hand and asked me to walk with
him. I wasn't afraid or fearful (besides my mom and friend were directly in front of us). As they
walked ahead and moved towards the altar, the little man guided me to the last stained-glass
window on the left, closest to the altar. He asked if I saw anyone I knew in the stained glass. It was a
side profile, but I recognized him immediately.

It was John, my John from my NDE. I whispered in awe, 'That's John.' 'Yes it is my dear. He was an
apostle on earth and he was called smiling John. You needed to see this. You needed to remember
and know that it happened.' I stood there shaking my head in a yes motion and turned to look at the
little man. He was gone, nowhere in sight. My mother and her friend had turned to me and asked
where he went. I told them I did not know - but I had a something to share with them. And I've been
sharing my NDE with anyone who needs to hear it ever since.

Next, the Sea.

Slowly - one, then two, then four, and on, stars lit up in my vision. They were far away and very tiny.
They twinkled white at first, and then as they grew in number and I felt I was getting closer there
were colors. Colors I have never seen, colors I love, colors I am familiar with. At first, it was like
looking at the sky, but as I became one with this sea it was more like a translucent river of stars and
colors. They would breathe and undulate and seemed to be as one. They all interacted together like
an ocean, with a tide, with waves - rising and falling lazily in space. I became aware of my place
among them, floated and relaxed. The most important thing in this place was the feeling of bliss. I
can only describe it as the feeling that comes right after climax, that unique relief and relaxation
where nothing in the world matters. The only thing different about this was the feeling never waned.
It stayed constant. It was the feeling of falling asleep on a summer's day on a hammock in the light of
a warm sun. It was the feeling of drawing your child close to you out of love. It was the feeling of
seeing a loved one for the first time in a long time. It was all good feelings, and it was ever present in
this place. I felt like I would stay in this place for eternity. I felt a welcoming. I felt awareness around
me and certainly did not feel alone. I felt that same entity again say 'You can stay here as long as you
want'. I wanted to stay. I never wanted to leave. I had been searching for this my whole life. Why had
I searched for this on Earth? I didn't care about any of that at the time though. All I cared about was
this sea of energies. I felt the entity start to explain 'This is the source'. I watched the sea glitter, and
then I saw the colors change. The colors went from many to few. One section of the sea turned
purple and pink, the other blue and green. These two felt separated, yet still one. They danced
together, rolling around on top of each other. It felt as if they were making love. I realized this was
love. This was a sea of nothing but love energy. This was 'Heaven'. 'Everyone is connected to the
source. We come from the source, we return to the source' I heard, in a feeling kind of way.

Then this entity dropped the final few words on me. 'You cannot return to where you were if you
stay'. Suddenly everything that I had forgotten, friends, family, physical pleasure, future goals,
flooded into my awareness. What I was seeing and where I was had not changed, but I remembered
that I was someone before this and that someone had a life. Surprisingly, I still did not want to go. I
became saddened at my dilemma and felt the sea grow further away from me. I sunk lower into
sadness. The final straw was the thought of the love I had for my boyfriend at the time. The entity
seemed to sigh in amusement, 'You can return later'. The moment I had accepted this answer I began
to rewind through my experience. Backwards I went, over the rainbow, to the blackness, back up
through the rabbit hole. I hit another patch of blackness and an enormous figure 8 appeared before
me. As I got closer to it, I could see that it was a running line of this life's experience. The figure was
sideways and made up of clips, like running videos, of different phases in my life. My birth and
conception were at one end, with my elderly years at the other. I had a distinct feeling this entire
thing had been played out millions of times before. I was suddenly crashing at uncontrollable speed
towards these events I felt like I had some control over where I would land, but not total control. In
those moments, I knew my entire life story, and I tried to pick a place in the loop to return to that I
liked. Finally, I got down to one screen and entered.

I awoke to be resuscitated, surrounded by relieved medical staff and my family. The first face my
eyes focused on was my boyfriend's face. He still remembers that moment to this day. I opened my
mouth and said 'Here? This time? Seriously?' I scoffed in disgust and closed my eyes.

I have always felt, ever since that day that I picked the wrong time to come back to. I felt like I truly
could have gone forward or backward in the line. I recovered just fine from the accident.
NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES

In the days that followed, my heart stopped beating four times and my family was told I most likely
would not make it. This time for me is blurry and I had two near death experiences, but do not know
at which times they happened.

The first time, I went through a light (it is the only way I can describe this) and I was totally saturated
in unconditional love. It was the most wonderful experience I have ever had. Unconditional love
saturated me and it was so filling!

I then went through a life review. It was all about my relationships with others in this review. During
this, I felt what they felt in my relationship with them. I felt their love or their pain or their hurt, by
things I had done or said to them. Their hurt or pain made me cringe and I found myself thinking,
'Oooh, I could have done better there.' But most of what I felt was love, so it was not too bad. No
one was judging me during this process. I felt no disapproval from anyone else, only my own
reactions to it all. That feeling of unconditional love saturating me continued to be there. I was
judging myself, but no one else was judging me in this review.

I was then asked if I wanted to come home (meaning there) or wanted to come back here. I told
them that my two sons needed me and I had to go back. I was suddenly in my body again feeling my
achy joints flaring in pain. I really don't remember what was going on around me at that point, just
that I hurt. I still felt that love though and could rest.

The second experience; I found myself in a city and was told that this was the City of God. I was at a
water fountain with a man in a long white linen robe tied around the waist with a chord. He told me I
could ask any question I wanted and said he would take me on a tour. Because I had been raised at a
time where Catholics said to even go into another Christian church was a mortal sin, and Lutherans
said that those Catholics were going to go Hell because they had statuary in their churches and
prayed to saints, I had a very pressing question. The first question I asked was, 'What is the right
religion?'

I was told, 'They all are. Each religion is a pathway trying to reach the same place.' I was shown a
mountain, with each religious group trying to reach the top, separated from each other by distance,
but each one was trying to get to the same place.

I was then told that people choose to be born into whichever religion or group that will help them
achieve the lessons they are sent here to learn. I was told that the Earth is like a big school, a place
where you can apply spiritual lessons learned and test yourself, under pressure, to see if you can
actually 'live' what you already know you should do. Basically, the Earth is a place to walk the walk
and literally live the way it should be done. It was made clear to me that some people come to the
Earth to work on only one aspect of themselves, while others come to work on several aspects. Then
there are others who come to not only work on their own nature, but also to help the World as a
whole.

The other side does not have the physical pressures that having a body has. Here on Earth, you must
feed and clothe that body and provide shelter for it from the elements. You are under continual
pressure of some sort to make decisions that have a spiritual base. You are taught on the 'other side'
what you are 'supposed to do,' but can you LIVE it under these pressures on Earth? From what I saw
and heard there, on the other side, it is all about relationships and taking care of each other.
Perfection is not expected of people but learning is expected and considered good progress.

All of our experiences in a lifetime tend to follow some sort of pattern and often will recreate the
same lessons only in a different way and under various circumstances. This is how you know what
you are here to learn and test. If you examine the patterns, certain themes will become clear.

From Richard L's NDE on NDERF:

I was surrounded by light. Misty shapes began to form as I looked around. At first, they were just
moving swirls of light, but they soon took the shape of human forms. There were a lot of them
around me. I heard soft whispering coming from them, like a crowd murmuring and talking among
themselves. From this crowd, three shapes came forward and approached me. As they drew near, I
could make out them out better, as if they were slightly out of focus and my eyes were adjusting.
They were tall and slender, wearing what looked like flowing robes. One of them was wearing a
beard. They all had long, shoulder-length hair. One of them spoke to me.

'You're not supposed to be here, yet. You have to go back. You know what you agreed to,' he said.

I told him that I didn't want to go back. I liked it here. It felt like home. I felt like they were amused by
my response.

'You must go back, you have work to do. We'll send you back, soon.'

I looked around me at the crowd. I saw familiar faces. These were friends, family, enemies, people I
had known before, but I couldn't remember from where or when. Some of them I knew I had known
for a very long time. Many lives, many places, many times. I flashed on visions from those lives and
events. There was a continuity and connectedness about all of it, a sense of purpose and order that
spanned the centuries.

I looked back at the three people in front of me. These people were ancient. I don't know how I knew
that, but I knew that they were 'old souls' who watched over my group. We all had 'sprung' from
them, like children, each going their way yet connected to the source. I felt nothing like judgment of
our actions from them. If anything, I felt a kind of amused benevolence from them, like parents
watching their children playing. Even at the really bad things we did in our lives, there was no
judgment.

The one with the beard spoke to me. 'You can ask questions. We will answer them and you will
remember. It is important that you do this.'

My first question was 'Is this heaven?'

'It can be, if that's what you want. It can be Hell, as well, if that's what you believe. This reality is an
extension of you, instantly realized and formed. You always create your own reality, no matter where
you find yourself, for we are all co-creators.'

'Where is God? I don't see him.' I asked. They became visibly amused, like they were snickering at my
question under their breath.

'How can you see that which you are yourself a part of? We are all expressions of God. When you see
with your eyes, you see through the eyes of God and he experiences reality through yours. When you
speak to God, you speak to yourself. We are one and the same, there is no division or separation.
You can no more 'see' God than your hand can see you, for it is a part of you and functions because
of you and for your purposes, as well as its own. There is no separation. Any that seems to exist is an
illusion. The light that surrounds us here is God. It is our source of being and is given freely to all.'

Next question. 'Why do I feel like this is home?'

'Because it is home. All begin here and return here. It is the starting point for all journeys and
lessons.'

A strange question. I still don't know why I asked it, but at the time it seemed relevant. 'When I come
back again, can I stay?' I got an even stranger answer.

'We don't think you'll want to stay long, you never do. You love your lessons, especially the hard
ones. You can do as you please, it's your choice.'"

Nde

Then my doctor appeared. I heard the nurse say I can't get a pulse, her temperature is over 106, and
her organs are shutting down. Suddenly I could feel it, the hemorrhage again. I looked up at my
doctor and said, ‘I'm bleeding again'. ‘No’, he said, 'you are having an allergic reaction to the blood
transfusions you received.’ 'No,' I thought, 'He doesn't know. I am hemorrhaging! I am dying and my
spirit is flowing out!'

I was then suddenly, overwhelming sad. I was sad to be dying without saying, 'Goodbye. I love you.'
to my husband and children or my father standing right outside the door. Then I died! The first
awareness I had was the absence of pain; what a relief! Then I became aware of the blackness. It was
as if I was in a place of tremendous energy; a great black void, but I was not fearful. The void held me
in calm and peace. I knew I had died to the world but I had not lost consciousness for even a second.
I was still me and still alive.
Then I was with Him and enveloped in such a great light and love it defies description. There I rested
in joy, bliss, and grace. He spoke to me, telling me that it was not my time and that I needed to
return to my body, to complete my life's mission. I did not respond to His remark, but instead asked
Him how he had done that? He spoke to me without words, without a voice, and yet I had clearly
heard and understood every unspoken word! He said to me that I was in a different ‘place’, one in
which communication was purely exchanged through the language of love. Here everyone spoke
heart to heart and soul to soul so that there could never be a misunderstanding. When I had been on
Earth and used the spoken word there had often been a great confusion as to what I thought I had
said and what had been heard by my listener, they were often very different.

He then reminded me again that it was not my time and that I needed to return to my body and
resume my earth life. Then I reminded Him that He had promised me free agency, and I was choosing
to exercise that agency to stay with Him. He laughed with great joy and mirth at my stubbornness,
saying,

‘Yes, Laura, I would expect you to argue your own case. The decision will, of course, be yours! But
first, let me show you some things.’ I was suddenly struck with wonderment and awe. He knew me.
Everything about me was already known. I was part of his creation and in me was the spark of God; it
could not be otherwise. He was all knowing, he was all love, and I was a part of it all.

Before me, there suddenly appeared a pristine beautiful white glistening beach. I saw my three
oldest sons sitting together on that beach. Individually, I saw many parts of their future lives. I saw
their struggles and their hardships. I saw how my death would add to their hardships; sadness,
loneliness, and anger seemed often to surround them. Then I saw the contrast I, as a Mother, would
be in their lives. Their paths were lightened because of my love for them.

But still I could not imagine leaving Him; being apart from His love. So I pointed out the beach to Him,
each single grain of sand and how there were millions of them. Surely, one small grain of sand in all
of creation would not be so missed. Besides, they had a father, a wonderful loving father, to care for
them and teach them, care for them and love them. Also, I had realized at that point that time was
different and did not really matter. After all, as a mortal how do you understand forever or eternity
or no end? Life may appear long, hard and dreary but really it was a flash, equal to one grain of sand
on that expansive beach. He brought my focus back to the beach explaining, 'Notice again the beach
and every individual grain of sand. Notice how each grain touches every other grain. If every
individual gain of sand chose to remove itself, there would be no beach. I got it on all levels instantly!
No one could replace me. No one was, in fact, replaceable, ever. Everyone must contribute their own
unique part of the beach.

https://www.nderf.org/Experiences/1laura_m_ndes.html
NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES

I was lying in my bed. It was dark in my room, however not very late. I could hear my family watching
TV in the living room, which was outside my bedroom door. I was not asleep, yet not completely
awake, either. I was actually talking to myself inwardly. I was thinking about what actually happens
when we die, and if what I believed to be true, was really, indeed, true. I have always been one to
question everything in life. I have always been one to need to experience something to actually
believe it. Faith—I was never good at faith. I always was in my head, thinking about everything. Even
though throughout my entire life, I had always been intuitive and had seen things most people
hadn't, from a very young age, I had always questioned it all. I've always sought validation for my
feelings and emotions, and even when those feelings seemed to be greater than the sum of myself, I
was always searching.

Suddenly I saw a pinpoint of light in the left-hand corner of my room. I was so surprised, so amazed!
‘It wasn't there a second ago!’ I remember I said to myself. ‘What is that?!’ Then I felt a pull upwards,
a release, and I knew my physical body had remained on the bed below me. As soon as I had
acknowledged the light, I was in it. I can't even tell you in language, the colors that I saw. Reds,
greens, purples, and blues that I had never seen before. The colors themselves were alive. They were
all around me as if I were in a wormhole of sorts. I felt a tunnel-like presence around me, and the
swirling of colors and lights was amazing. ‘Amazing’ doesn't even describe it, but there are no other
words I can use. ‘Life-alerting’—yes that probably works here. It was just that. I was being pulled
upwards and outwards all at the same time. I retained the ability to think, just as I usually did, and I
was still talking to myself. I didn't see my hands or feet, I just felt like I was a being of pulsating
energy, sliding around. The feeling would be similar to being on a water slide, but sliding up instead
of sliding down.

Then I was pushed out of the end of this tunnel, and I found myself in a belt of what looked like stars
both above me and below me. I wasn't exactly ‘immersed’ within the stars, because they weren't in
close enough proximity for me to touch them. Yet there they were, everywhere, above and below
me. I had to take a second. I tried to empty my mind of all thoughts. Just then, I was aware of a space
in front of me. It was like a corridor of sorts. Before I finished my thought about what it might be, I
was in it! Boom, I was just there! I saw a sparkling light at the end of the corridor. I deliberately didn't
initiated the feeling of wanting to be there, at the end of the corridor, because, honestly, I wanted to
stay right where I was. And I knew if I had that thought, then I would be there, and at the end of it,
immediately. This—whatever it was (maybe not best described as a ‘corridor’) was luminous, all by
itself. I was definitely within something. And I could tell that it was see-through (translucent,) as well.
I guess the best way to describe it would be as a ‘hologram.’

And there, to my left on a screen, was my life. I could see it! Me! I saw and felt all of my choices in
this lifetime. There was absolutely NO judgment attached to it. None. I wasn't judging my life, I was
simply seeing it. To the right it was dark, dim. I ‘felt’ like the right side was reserved for when I
actually did physically die. I would be privy to it then. It contained all the possibilities of all the angles
of all the decisions I had made, played out in different realms. As if, let's say, I had decided not to get
married when I did. What my life would have been—and it actually was played out, but not in a
physical way. It was still acted out. It was all the ‘probables’ in life. I asked, in thought, or feeling, not
with my voice, why I was here. A voice told me that it was because I had asked to be there. I knew
this voice. It was comforting and familiar, and yet I knew it was God. How was that possible?

I immediately questioned the voice about its being female. I had always envisioned ‘God’ to be male.
I had expected to be greeted in a male voice. I was shocked to hear/feel that I had chosen this voice,
because… it was MINE! It was MY voice! I suddenly knew that I was part of the universe! I was not
separate! I was not some being, cast into a world and separate from God—I was God, if you will. I
was part of the universe, or whatever you want to call it. I knew right then and there, we are all a
part of this life force. It was all-encompassing, all around me. I felt as if I were a balloon, being given
air, expanding and then contracting. I was free, and yet I was connected to this voice. This voice was
a layer—a layer of a billion other souls speaking. I can't describe it. I knew I was not alone there. I
actually felt and saw a billion souls of light behind a hazy, almost curtain-like, substance in front of
me. I was delirious with the feelings of love and hope. I could feel every other soul's compassion and
love for me. It was the most overwhelming, most extraordinary thing.

I heard the thoughts of everyone, and yet it wasn't craziness, like voices in one's head—it was all
thoughts, and it all made sense. I knew the images that I wasn't able to see on the right were also of
all the lives I was living, all at the same time! This was completely foreign to me, as I had always
believed in reincarnation and ‘past’ lives, not simultaneous lives. I didn't even know it was a
possibility. I now knew it was. Why would we live lives all at once? Wasn't the purpose to evolve
through each life and to live and learn and do better the next go-around? Evidently, not really. I got
the distinct impression we were living lives to raise consciousness. By raising the vibration around us,
we changed the earth; we changed the experience of life.

I felt so safe, so complete. It was apparent how fractured I had felt before. How separate I had felt.
Even though I had always known we were connected as people, I didn't know we were all the SAME.
We all have the same knowledge within us. I went forward to the end of the corridor towards the
haziness and beautiful lights. I noticed an old boyfriend of mine—he was holding flowers of pink and
white. He moved from the outside of the corridor towards me. I felt his love, and I was baffled as to
why he was even there. I didn't know he had passed away some years earlier. I had no idea. I had
often thought about him, and missed him, a teenage love I hadn't seen in years. I thanked him for
being there. I turned to the right and saw my then father-in-law's mother. She had her arms
extended towards me. I hadn't know her in ‘real’ life that well before she had passed away. She
looked like she had when she passed. White hair, pretty smile. I asked her why did she still look so
old? (There's me questioning again!) She then changed to a beautiful young girl. She told me her
form was dependent on her own will. She could be anything and everything. I thanked her for being
there, also, but asked why my own grandfather wasn't there. She stated he was very busy, but he
was always there, always around me, as we are all part of the same energy source.

I was handed an orange crayon. Yes, a crayon. I was told I needed to let go of all my fears. I was
instructed to write them in the air. I did. I started writing these exact words: ‘fear, lost loves,
frustration, hate, unworthiness.’ All of my hurtful feelings towards others and myself. I was told to
release them. As I wrote, the top of the list dissipated. Like a scroll of some kind. I felt incredible. I
felt like I was perfect, like everything was as it should be. Every piece of the puzzle was in place. I was
aware of things on the outlying edges of my own consciousness. Like, all I had to do was focus on
them, as they were already there—I just allow them into my sight. Everything I could ever want, was
available. I just had to let it in. See it. Kind of like when you lose something. You go back, look, and
look in the same places. Suddenly, the tenth time you open the drawer, you see it there! It wasn't
magically put there, it was there the entire time, you just didn't see it! Now, I saw it!! It was the law
of manifestation right in front of me. How everything is there, I just have to let it come forward. If I
got rid of all this fear, and all the feelings it created, I could effortlessly let it roll into my line of vision.
It was already mine; I just needed to see it.

I wanted to go behind the veil. I thought of it, and half expected to be sucked into it, but I wasn't. I
was told I couldn't enter that realm just yet, as I was needed back in my body and that what was
behind the curtain is reserved for when my life expired on earth. I asked what it was like behind
there. I was told, or more like, felt—it was all peace, love and understanding. I understood that
thoughts create form. So I pictured myself in a huge glorious house. It was strange because, I actually
felt my own ego. I had never felt my ego separate from myself. My ego wanted some big elaborate
house, but not every other soul there needed some big huge house. They all created something for
themselves that was healing, and I knew behind that curtain, healing and love, understanding, all
without the presence of ego or judgment awaited. I knew I was the only one judging myself. I was
even judging my house! Ego was not part of the afterlife. I could feel a pull in the middle of my being,
and I knew my time left there was very limited. I didn't want to leave. I felt too complete and whole. I
felt loved—loved!!! Real love, not the kind peppered with judgment and scrutiny. I was part of
something—I wasn't different, I was the same. I asked—with my feelings—if I could please just get a
fleeting glimpse of what it will be like when it is my time to die.

I suddenly, without warning, heard and felt the loudest party! I felt and saw my parents and friends
and a million other beings clapping for me, welcoming me home. I saw the brightest light I had ever
seen. It was like warm molasses and it filled every single speck of my being. The light was love, pure
love. It was so spectacular, that I cry just writing this out. I was wanted. I was loved. I was needed. I
felt like a place had been waiting for me, and it would be waiting for me when it really was my time.
That warm sunshine, thick molasses yellow light, was alive with feelings, abundance, and self-
forgiveness. For a split second, I knew what it felt like to be free of all worldly attachments, and that
understanding will forever stay with me. To know I am the creative force within my own life—that
what I think and feel about others and myself affects my surroundings. I didn't have to think a certain
way to be accepted. I just was. I stood in the magnificent light, and understood I carry that inside me,
every day of my life. It hasn't abandoned me. It is a part of me. As soon as I realized that, I felt a jerk
backwards—boom, no descent backwards with colors and beauty like there had been on my way
there. I was just back where I had started, in my dark bedroom. I immediately began to cry.

https://www.nderf.org/Experiences/1lori_e_ste.html
10.

I suddenly awoke. I was not in a dream state but fully aware of where I was. I was standing in a
desert-type area that was golden and hazy. I was standing on the edge of heaven. I looked at what
appeared to be a wall. It looked like the walls surrounding an earthly city but I knew exactly where I
was and it wasn't earth or a dream. I was completely lucid.

The gold and a blue colors I saw in the experience is indescribable; like a turquoise color mixed with
the bluest hues of the ocean and intertwined with gold. It was the most magnificent thing I have ever
seen and more importantly, I felt it. I stood there for what felt like forever. I felt no pain, worry or
fear. I had no feeling of 'looking back.' During this time, I never thought of my children because I had
no thought of anything other than about peace and beauty.

I saw a person off in the distance, yet the presence was all around me. It was Jesus and God at the
same time, enveloping me in a feeling of love and peace; a love and peace that just didn't exist until
that point.

As the golden flakes of sand stirred in an infinite swirl, there was no feeling of wind, hot, or cold. I felt
only comfort. I was completely undisturbed by the peaceful turbulentce happening before my eyes, I
suddenly had a thought or a feeling of want. I wanted to go inside the city. In a conscious thought I
was about to take a step, when my deceased father and grandmother both said to me, 'It's not your
time, not yet. You have to go back.' I could see and hear them both in one voice and in their own
voices together. It is hard to explain that one in earthly language. I said, 'No, I want to stay here with
you.' They each placed a hand on my shoulder and I looked into the eyes of Christ for a brief moment
as he was suddenly there. He was not saying, but instilling in me, the thought that 'everything will be
okay' and a feeling of 'we will meet again soon.'

Suddenly, I was awake on the operating table. I know I was talking because the nurse said to me, 'I
believe you, you're not the first to say things like that. I believe you.' She continued to reassure me as
I began to cry, realizing I was back in this miserable earthly life. The nurse wiped my tears and
continued to reassure me. I just cried and kept saying, 'I want to go back. I don't want to be here.'
She then asked me if I had children. Suddenly, I wanted to be here again.

The feeling of peace, love, and beauty, had made me forget my two boys, ages 23 and 16 at the time.
I knew then why I had to come back and continue living, yet I also knew of the beauty waiting for me
. It is so profound. I know that I can get through anything to get back there to Heaven. This short
narrative doesn't even come close to explaining my experience. There are not words to describe it,
only the knowledge of knowing Heaven is real and I can't wait to go back when it is my time.

9.

When I found out the meaning behind my accident, I knew that I was mentally prepared and ready to
rise from the wheelchair. The secret of the human self- healing power is hidden deeply in our
subconscious. It is not a mysterious magic or supernatural power, but indeed an innate ability
essential and fundamental for human survival. We all have an innate natural survival power from the
moment we are born. Everybody equally shares it, regardless of race, gender, or religion. No one has
a stronger power than the others do. This precious self-healing power is actually well-written down
in our genetic code, keeps renewing and transforming over the past centuries, which sustains the
evolution of humanity.
Unfortunately, the more prosperous the economy and the more advanced the science and
technology, the more we focus on material pursuits, and neglect our spiritual growth. As soon as our
bodies show any sign of problem, we reach out in our surroundings to look for the most seemingly
convenient and quickest healing method without a second thought. We are eager for a shortcut to
get rid of all the symptoms as quick as possible, in order not to disturb our fast-paced modern
lifestyle. That accounts for our diminishing self-healing ability and growing dependence on drugs and
chemicals such as antibiotics, prednisone, painkillers and nutritional supplements. We become lazy
and habitual. We abandon our inherited self-healing power, the great power that lies within.

8.

"After a love affair ends, people say they have a broken heart. They have no idea what that actually
means; but I know. Seeing so much destruction and death--it truly did break my heart. Life was
empty and meaningless.

For several years afterward, I lived in darkness. Then came a 15-year journey of recovery. Group
therapy, psychiatrists, anti-depressants, support groups, men's groups, spiritual work...you name it, I
did it!

It seemed like I got better, but that war blew a hole in my soul that nothing on this earth could heal. I
had a huge, huge case of survivor guilt. All those people died, and we didn't do a •••• thing about it.
And I could NOT get over it. I was angry at God, for showing me so much death, for no good reason.
Finally, I just wanted to die and stop my pain.

On the surface, my life looked O.K. A decent job, a lovely girlfriend, even a cute little house with a
garage. But I drove my car into my garage, closed the garage door, put on a Beethoven tape, laid
back in my car seat, closed my eyes, and left the big motor running. I was all done.

Next morning, my ego, the little voice inside my head that wants to run my life...it was gone. In its
place was an incredible sense of peace. Peace like I had never known. A Peace SO big, it can soak up
all the pain from every bad thing that's ever happened in all of eternity. God's Peace.

Apparently, I wouldn't be allowed to die. Since I didn't know what else to do, I began to
meditate...and pray. Real, talking-to-God prayer.

I imagined I was out in space, looking down on the earth, like God would see us. I imagined Southeast
Asia, on fire, with bright orange flames, and thick black smoke, pouring out into space. All the
murdered bodies being put into the ground, their souls slipping up to heaven like wisps of gray
smoke. I tried to fill my heart with all the grief and pain it could hold as I gazed mournfully at my
imaginary vision of that war.

Then God answered my prayer...by taking over my vision, by changing it right in front of me. The
black smoke vanished, the orange flames went to a brilliant blazing white light, a light too bright for
human eyes, like the light at Christ's tomb. The light of resurrection. God's Light.

Then it happened. Words cannot describe it. But I will try.

I was swimming in an ocean of pure Love. An ocean so vast, and so deep, and so beautiful, a mortal
mind can't fathom it. And I knew I was born to swim in that ocean. It was the reason God created
me...to swim in that beautiful ocean of Love, forever and ever.
Knowledge and understanding appeared instantly, fully formed in my mind. Feelings blew across me
like wind. And God helped me look back again.

The souls who died in that war, they ran up a huge rainbow, straight toward me and they were SO
happy! It felt like graduation day, a perfect June morning on a beautiful campus at one of our finest
universities. Here come the elite students, graduating with highest honors from the toughest course
in all human experience. They VOLUNTEERED for this demanding curriculum. They were proud to be
picked, and now they've passed with flying colors. Joy is what they're feeling today. A chorus of a
million angels sings that joy out loud. In perfect harmony, heaven sings along.

And here is what they told me: Don't worry about us. Don't grieve for us. We asked for our "life
assignments" before we were born. We agreed to die in that war because our sacrifice will help the
consciousness of the whole planet advance much faster than it otherwise would. Our souls get "extra
credit" from God for doing it, and we can grow by leaps and bounds.

We're honor students now. Our future's so bright, we gotta wear shades!

When things get very dark here on earth, it's then, just on the other side of the veil, that heaven's
light is shining its brightest. No matter how bad things look, never forget that everything..every single
thing that ever happens here on earth is designed to help souls grow. Everything, and especially
shadow lessons, are a perfect unfoldment of Divine Love.

God said, I will be with you always, even unto the end of the world. Everywhere, every moment, in
darkness and light, in good times and bad."

7.

The next second I realized I was on the ceiling, completely calm and peaceful. I wondered why I could
see the ceiling so well and so close up. I was weightless and seemed to be almost bouncing from the
ceiling to floor. I heard a super high-pitched noise that was both heard and felt. It was painful to hear
and I wanted to leave the area. As soon as I expressed discomfort, I was BOOM in a black space. It
was blacker than black and completely void. I have always been scared of the dark and thought
maybe something would get me. I tried to feel my body and I didn't have one. I thought I was
dreaming and I didn't understand why I couldn't feel my body. I wondered what I looked like since I
didn't have a body. I tried to touch myself with my hands, or what I sensed as hands, I went right
through myself.

I wondered where the light was and where my Father was. I didn't like being in the dark and wanted
to find a light switch or something. I thought it would be pointless to try to move around if I couldn't
see where I was going. I wanted to get out of the blackness, thinking maybe something would get
me. I didn't see or sense danger at any time in my experience. I would say, as soon as I got
uncomfortable and was very concerned about my father and where the light was. I see a pin prick of
light afar. In a flash, the light was coming right at me. I was an abused child and got hit a lot. I was
afraid the light was going to hit me in the face. I moved out of the way, in fear of being hit. I turned
around and saw this magical light full of color. There were gold, white and pinks, and all the colors
together like a diamond has all the colors and sparkles. It seemed to be alive and was calling me into
it.
I never went back into the blackness. I allowed my walls to come down for the first time in my life. I
allowed myself to get lost in the experience. I danced in the light and spun around. I was so happy to
have felt good for the first time in my life. I wondered what I looked like since I couldn't see or feel
myself before. I got a 360-degree view of myself. I looked the same as I always had. I only saw myself
from the shoulders up. I thought, 'oh well, I look the same'.

6.

Suddenly a familiar yet most overwhelming emotion shook me through. I saw our sun. I knew that it
could not be our sun, which had begotten our earth, and that we were an infinite distance away, but
somehow all through me I recognized that it was exactly the same sun as ours, its copy and double. A
sweet and moving delight echoed rapturously through my soul. The dear power of light, of that same
light which had given me birth, touched my heart and revived it, and I felt life, the old life, for the
first time since my death."

Then Dosteyvski finds himself in another world, Earthlike in every respect, except “everything
seemed to be bright with holiday, with a great and sacred triumph, finally achieved” — a world
populated by “children of the sun,” happy people whose eyes “shone with a bright radiance” and
whose faces “gleamed with wisdom, and with a certain consciousness, consummated in tranquility.”
The protagonist exclaims:

"Oh, instantly, at the first glimpse of their faces I understood everything, everything! Oh, now — life,
life! I lifted my hands and called upon the eternal truth, not called, but wept. Rapture, ineffable
rapture exalted all my being. Yes, to live…

All are tending to one and the same goal, at least all aspire to the same goal, from the wise man to
the lowest murderer, but only by different ways. It is an old truth, but there is this new in it: I cannot
go far astray. I saw the truth. I saw and know that men could be beautiful and happy, without losing
the capacity to live upon the earth. I will not, I cannot believe that evil is the normal condition of
men… I saw the truth, I did not invent it with my mind. I saw, saw, and her living image filled my soul
for ever. I saw her in such consummate perfection that I cannot possibly believe that she was not
among men. How can I then go astray? … The living image of what I saw will be with me always, and
will correct and guide me always. Oh, I am strong and fresh, I can go on, go on, even for a thousand
years.

And it is so simple… The one thing is — love thy neighbor as thyself — that is the one thing. That is
all, nothing else is needed. You will instantly find how to live." Dostoievski

5.

A halo of light surrounded me into itself. My life and all of its events started to play in my mind, but it
was very clear, real, and alive. It was like a slideshow, but I experienced all the feelings in these
events again. Everything was shown in chronological order. Although this whole life review only took
minutes, it was pleasant and interesting to me. Once my life review stopped, my mind started to
analyze my life and my actions. I felt that overall, I was relatively kind to people.

After that, I felt freedom. The halo of light left me and I felt like I have to return to the physical life. I
was trying to avoid this from happening because I was experiencing new and pleasant things. But I
automatically left that environment and moved into a grayish-blue environment and was put into a
supine position and slowly, with no effort, returned back into the ambulance.
What is this place, Grandma?' She said, 'Son, this is where we all go when we die.' I looked around I
was so at peace. I could hear music. I could see the mountains in the background, the sky was a
series of washed Alizarin crimson then faded to Prussian blues and then a beautiful darkness. Other
than the Warm Golden light, the sky was the most beautiful 'sunset' I’ve ever seen. Behind me was
darkness. It was night time and like space darkness. The ironic thing was that I felt like I was part of
all of it and it was connected to me. I felt no fear. This was Heaven. I knew I had worked hard on
changing my life. Years before, I had found faith in a power greater than me. I felt this feeling; I can
only call love that knows no boundary of time, space or consciousness. It covers everything that has
been, is and will be. I’ve read it, I’ve heard it, I have intellectualized it and believed. But never have I
felt it in my soul, until then. Not because we can bribe love, by our acts or control it with penance or
faith. It’s just because we ARE and It loves us all no matter what.

I looked at Grandma and asked her, 'What about those who have committed horrible acts against
children and other humans?' I continued, 'What about those who are evil at heart lie, steal, cheat
and what is it that they deserve, the same thing as those who try to be good people?' (I had some
personal issues I was dealing with and there were headlines in the news of acts of people like Osama
Bin Laden and other stuff). I said to the light as if it would answer, 'What is the point then, what
would people do if we knew this?'

I leaned closer to her and whispered like no one could us. 'Is this or are we here Grandma because of
our church? Or the way we believed or our Faith?' She looked at me and smiled, and said so sweetly,
'Son, it’s not about this place. There is only one time we have in our presence, in our reality, in our
time. This is the only time, you are you. We suffer for what we do, while we are here. We have our
consequences for what we DO while we live. We are loved. We don’t get judged here. We don’t
suffer here. Our time was a gift.' ….

What intelligence is directing this? It was like this whole thing is alive. We are a part of this creation
that is so magnificent; we have no words in our language to express it. She looked at me and said,
'We suffer for how we are being here when we separated our Being or Spirit from the one Truth and
created a False Reality we feel pain. We separate our connection to this power. Our pain is directly
proportionate to the level of separation of our Spirit from here, son.' 'We all have it and we all are
built with it.' …

Then visions of my life and others who appeared of how we separated or cut-off our lives, love and
our only one time we have here in this time and space. I saw how we’ve wasted it with petty crap,
hatred, war, abuse of control and power, lies, and hurting others. We have spent that time, being so
separated from love and our truth that we have taken it from others because we can’t stand that
they may have it and we don’t. I saw that we have created false truths and realities because we
loathe what we think is the truth. We have nearly, if not completely, ruined our lives, hearts, minds,
and souls to keep feeding the illusions. We keep this false love and reality alive, just to do it. We have
given our bodies away for validation and approval, and our soul just to feel better. If we can’t heal
and return to love here where it counts, when we don’t own and atone for our mistakes, we keep the
separation going and the pain we feel gets worse and the more desperate we become to cover it up.

Yet, I saw that for me, for us to return to that source, love, to the place where it all began, we had to
do just that; Face the truth of where it all began. We need to see the trail that was behind what we
thought was the truth. I saw how we fear; so much fear. As I did, I felt the sun behind my
grandmother get warmer, brighter and stronger. I could feel a love and comfort I can’t put to words
radiating from it. I felt a humbleness and honor that I don’t know how to express radiate from this
source, I was forgiven.
4.

I was told that I had died, and could still return to earth and my body if I chose, but I would need to
have a review of my life to examine if I had completed what I had chosen to experience. A screen
appeared above the table and began to play my life from birth. I remember the first part of my life
life playing very fast, then when I got into my teenage years and my life experiences got more
intense the playback was stopped by people around the table and we looked at my experiences from
the different perspectives of the people involved. As I was watching the review I could feel all the
emotions felt not only by myself but by the other people involved. When I had caused pain or being
loving to others I felt it, I felt how it was for them on the receiving end of my actions and words. I was
asked many questions by the people at the table about different points in my life, many about the
times when I felt the most fear and had given into those fears.

At the end of the review and much discussion I was asked if I felt I had accomplished what I had set
out for my life on earth this time, and though I was not sure of exactly what I had set out for my life I
knew that I had more still to do and wanted to return to complete my life. The others agreed, and I
was told that after returning part of my completion would be to live and share a more spiritual
understanding of life.

At the conclusion of the review my lady who had come to get me from the operating theatre came
once again and took me by the hand through the woods. This time in a different direction from the
one we had come to the clearing, and we quickly came upon the mist. She didn't take me through
the mist, just told me to enter, and bade me farewell. If anyone has watched the Lord of The Rings
films, she looked like one of the elves from the film, very ethereal and shining.

After re-entering the mist the next thing I knew was waking up in Intensive care with a nurse close to
the bed.

What started to happen was the swirling torment, in some sort of way, had begun to change or
straighten out. It seemed like I was being propelled into what I call the vast darkness of inner space. I
was still anxiously praying. I was shifting my focus now, or being shifted, toward this sensation of
speeding through the darkness. I thought, "Where are the stars?" Then out in front of me I thought I
saw a star. So I tried to focus in on that star. Then I see it bigger than when I first spotted it. Now I
realize that it's moving toward me, because it's growing in size very rapidly. When it's about one third
the size of a full moon I feel this unbelievable peace (what came and still comes to mind is "The
peace that passeth all understanding"). From that size it grew into a 12-foot radiant sphere
positioned about seven feet in front of me. I feel wisdom, love, and power and think, "Oh my God,
there really is a God!" To give the experience one word, love. It then speaks to me saying, "I am life
and the life of life and you are one of mine." Then it says, "Wherever you go you belong." I was crying
so deeply and felt so safe and comforted, like I was being held in the hands of God. I felt absolutely
elated for the rest of that day.

A few days later I wanted to get back there, to be in that presence again. So I tried to pray and
meditate on that golden presence, and after maybe 45 minutes or so, the golden being broke
through or did I break through? I felt this incredible love, and it said, "I am here. I am the great light,
that which you would call God…peace."

A couple of days had gone by and I tried to make a connection again, this time no luck, but the prayer
and meditation gave me some peace anyway. Then about a week or so later I tried to go within again
and I did it. I made a connection. The golden sphere appears and says, "I am here." Then I see a
golden man within the sphere, he has a robe like Jesus. He reads my mind and says, "I am not the
man Jesus. I am what you would call the higher self or the Buddha nature." Then he proceeds to say,
"I am my father’s son and he and I are one. I come so that divine will be done." Then he says, "This is
for all who will listen. This is the next part of the teaching." (I knew this was for every soul in this
world and within this area of the universe). He sweeps his arm in front of his body and says, "I am the
same as all of you, and all of you are the same as I am. The I am that I am. Therefore, be at peace."

3.

All of a sudden, I felt like I had been fired upwards, like a rocket at great speed. I remember the
sound, like a combined type of beep, hum, and vibration all at once. I saw the brilliant light at the
bottom. At first, the light was white, and then it turned into several colors, like a rainbow. I heard
musical notes that accompanied me. Then I was going into a space where everything around me was
hyperactive, mega, ultra-real. I also find it hard to describe the sensation of Extreme Reality that I
felt. It was very difficult to describe because that kind of reality doesn´t exist in this world. In fact,
this world that all we know is like a joke or like something made of plastic compared to the new
world where I´ve just arrived. You could feel a very huge ecstasy of love, something indescribable and
that you have never experienced in your life.

I felt a sensation of abundance and plenty. I didn't need anything, nor did I lack anything around me. I
was in a state of perfection, feeling perfectly safe and confident. I was not frightened of anything. I
did not feel a fear of sickness or that I might be wrong. I felt more like 'Myself' than ever. I felt an
empowerment of myself.

Yet, I felt neither inferior nor superior to anyone or anything around me. Everyone was a part of
existence, including myself.

This made me feel that I had the right to live and that my actions were noble and benevolent to
everyone around me. I felt the safety that nothing bad was going to happen to me. I felt as if this
place was my own true home because I had the sensation of being home, safe, protected, and
welcomed. I felt liberty because I didn't feel like a slave who was indebted to anyone or anything. I
felt oneness because I was part of everything that surrounded me, and everything in its own way was
part of me.

I had the sensation of continuity or of belonging to this life. There was a feeling of creation or of
consciousness because everything that I imagined or thought about took form instantly before me.
This included people who were able to communicate with me without needing to speak. I only had to
create the words in my mind and the person would hear it and vice versa, like telepathic
communication. I felt peace and tranquility like inner and outer peace, peace, peace and more peace.

There was complete serenity wrapped in a sense of timelessness or eternity. I had the sensation of
living there all my life as if I had always been there. In fact, I had no memory at that moment of the
identity I now have. I didn't remember anything from my current life, including my name, age, or the
fact that I live on a planet called Earth. I had no memory of what it is to be a human or about
anything that comes with it like eating, sleeping, or traveling. I felt love and ecstasy. This is the
hardest part for me to talk about because trying to explain this sensation with only words degrades
the experience. It is like the physical sensation that would be to feel an orgasm multiplied by 10
times and continued throughout time without limits, and in which the emotional feeling would be
like Universal Compassionate Love, gratitude, and union.

MAJOR CHARACTERISTICS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL CHANGES

Loss of the fear of death, more spiritual and less religious, easily engage in abstract thinking, more
philosophical, can go through various bouts with depression, more generous and charitable than
before, form expansive concepts of love while at the same time challenged to initiate and maintain
satisfying relationships, "inner child" or unresolved issues from childhood tend to surface, less
competitive, convinced of a life purpose, rejection of previous limitations in life and "normal" role-
playing, heightened sensations of taste-touch-texture-smell, increased intuitive/psychic abilities plus
the ability to know or "re-live" the future, charismatic, a child-like sense of wonder and joy, less
stressed, more detached and objective, can continue to dissociate or "separate" from the body,
easily absorbed ("merge into" whatever is focused on), hunger for knowledge and learning, highly
curious.

Near-death experiencers come to love and accept others without the usual attachments and
conditions society expects. They perceive themselves as equally and fully loving of each and all,
openly generous, excited about the potential and wonder of each person they see. Their desire is to
be a conduit of universal love. Confused family members tend to regard this sudden switch in
behavior as oddly threatening, as if their loved one had become aloof, unresponsive, even uncaring
and unloving. Some mistake this "unconditional" way of expressing joy and affection (heart-centered
rather than person-centered) as flirtatious disloyalty. Divorce can result.

One of the reasons life seems so different afterward is because the experiencer now has a basis of
comparison unknown before. Familiar codes of conduct can lose relevance or disappear altogether as
new interests take priority. Such a shift in reference points can lead to a childlike naivete. With the
fading of previous norms and standards, basic caution and discernment can also fade. It is not
unusual to hear of near-death experiencers being cheated, lied to, or involved in unpleasant mishaps
and accidents. Once they are able to begin integrating what happened to them, discernment usually
returns.

Most experiencers develop a sense of timelessness. They tend to "flow" with the natural shift of light
and dark, and display a more heightened awareness of the present moment and the importance of
being "in the now." Making future preparations can seem irrelevant to them. This behavior is often
labeled "spaciness" by others, who do their best to ignore the change in perception, although seldom
do they ignore the shift in speech. That's because many experiencers refer to their episode as if it
were a type of "divider" separating their "former" life from the present one.

There's no denying that experiencers become quite intuitive afterward. Psychic displays can be
commonplace, such as: out-of-body episodes, manifestation of "beings" met in near-death state,
"remembering" the future, finishing another's sentence, "hearing" plants and animals "speak." This
behavior is not only worrisome to relatives and friends, it can become frightening to them. A
person's religious beliefs do not alter or prevent this amplification of faculties and stimuli. Yet,
experiencers willing to learn how to control and refine these abilities, consider them beneficial.
Life paradoxes begin to take on a sense of purpose and meaning, as forgiveness tends to replace
former needs to criticize and condemn. Hard driving achievers and materialists can transform into
easy-going philosophers; but, by the same token, those more relaxed or uncommitted before can
become energetic "movers and shakers," determined to make a difference in the world. Personality
reversals seem to depend more on what's "needed" to round out the individual's inner growth than
on any uniform outcome. Although initially bewildered, families can be so impressed by what they
witness that they, too, change-making the experience a "shared event."

The average near-death experiencer comes to regard him or herself as "an immortal soul currently
resident within a material form so lessons can be learned while sojourning in the earthplane." They
now know they are not their body; many go on to embrace the theory of reincarnation. Eventually,
the present life, the present body, becomes important and special again.

What was once foreign becomes familiar, what was once familiar becomes foreign. Although the
world is the same, the experiencer isn't. Hence, they tend to experiment with novel ways to
communicate, even using abstract and grandiose terms to express themselves. With patience and
effort on everyone's part, communication can improve and life can resume some degree of routine.
But, the experiencer seems ever to respond to a "tune" no one else can hear (this can continue
lifelong).

MAJOR CHARACTERISTICS OF PHYSIOLOGICAL CHANGES

Altered thought-processing (switch from sequential/ selective thinking to clustered thinking:

thoughts bunch together/ideas pop up), comfortable with ambiguity, heightened intelligence, more
creative and inventive, unusual sensitivity to light and sound, substantially more or less energy (even
energy surges in body, ofttimes more sexual), reversal of body clock, lower blood pressure,
accelerated metabolic and substance absorption rates (decreased tolerance of pharmaceuticals and
chemically treated products), often turn to alternative healthcare treatments, electrical sensitivity,
synesthesia (multiple sensing), increased allergies or sensitivities, can possess ability to heal, a
preference for more vegetables and grains (less of meat), physically younger looking (before and
after photos can differ).

Sensitivity to light and sound can be a serious issue and may necessitate some lifestyle changes.
While most experiencers learn to limit sunshine exposure, others can't get enough. Almost everyone,
though, has similar difficulties with loud or discordant sounds. Many can no longer tolerate "hard"
rock music. The vast majority prefer classical, melodic, and/or natural sounds, and become
passionate about using music to heal.

Energy surges up and down the body happen to many, and can be accompanied by "lights" in the air.
Researchers usually regard this as the release of "kundalini" (a Sanskrit term meaning "coiled energy
at the base of the spine"). Supposedly, kundalini energy and spiritual energy are one in the same, yet
the theory behind this idea remains unproven. To keep in formed about ongoing research, contact
Kundalini Research Network, c/o Dale Pond, R#5, Flesherton, Ontario, NOC IEO Canada.

Electrical sensitivity refers to a condition whereby the forcefield or energy around an individual
affects nearby electrical equipment and technological devices. Usually sporadic in effect and impact,
some experiencers have noticed: watches can stop, microphones "squeal," tape recorders quit,
television channels change with no one at controls, light bulbs pop, telephone "drops off," computers
suddenly lose memory, and so forth. Experiencers more at ease with their new traits report fewer of
these incidents than those still in the process of making adjustments.

Physical differences, along with attitudinal changes, eventually lead experiencers to alter their
approach to health and healing, employment, finances, lifestyle and relationship issues. Many say
that it's almost as if they have to relearn how to use their own body and brain. Once adjustments are
made, the majority come to live healthy, productive lives that are happier, more spiritually-oriented
and energetic than before. To deny or repress the aftereffects seems to leave individuals feeling
somehow "incomplete," and can foster unwanted "breakthroughs" years later.

HELPFUL NOTES

It is possible to have near-death-like experiences without the threat of impending physical death.
Children, for instance, can have death dreams that are unusually powerful. Adults can emerge
unscathed from mishap, or find themselves slipping into a different meditative state, only to discover
later on "they have changed." If a genuine case, the individual will exhibit the same pattern of
aftereffects as a near-death experiencer.

Adjusting to the aftereffects takes time. The first three years tend to be the most confusing, almost
as if the individual isn't "fully back." Experiencers and their families are urged to attend or start a
local IANDS group, and to read the following books for indepth research studies about aftereffects.

2.

„There was this incredible sense of awareness, peace, and visceral power...when I came out of the
tunnel things were all opened-up to a sense of hugeness. Incredibly massive in size, my inner being
rapidly grew without constraint, like a helium balloon that smoothly expands indefinitely but never
bursts. Inside this balloon would be an intense light, warmth, and a still but flowing love unbound.
There was still no consciousness of having a body, or arms, or legs, I just felt this power deep within
and just below my field of vision like where the heart would be...but the sense was that this power
expanded way out beyond a normal sized body - like out into the sky and filling the same. I did not
breath this whole time and there was never any sense of weight...imagine a floating lantern that's
spiritually tethered to and plugged-in to the very heart of God.

I gazed towards these beings that stood on and within this great white cloud, joined by the intense
white light that was behind them, as everything was drenched in a pure and glowing white. Light was
saturating everything. The cloud rose up among them slightly but was more dense around their feet,
it was all awash in a beautiful and pure energy. The two rows of beings in front of me formed a 'vee'
shape, perhaps seven on the left and three on the right, they were turned slightly towards me which
also formed an isle for me to go in between, like at a wedding, but with a cloud floor. The isle
narrowed as it got closer to that big ball of light. The isle was short and wide at it's mouth - they were
maybe fifteen feet across from one another at it's entry point, and maybe five feet apart at the far,
narrow end, which was nearly against this giant light. The beings were spaced about six feet apart
from each other in their respective isles. It was a funnel shape and they were funneling me into this
great light and greeting me, as I was automatically being drawn into this isle, and towards the bright
sphere. This incredible sphere of light was maybe four or five times the height of the beings (the
beings were average woman height). The sphere was beaming out intense energy and light in every
direction with a seemingly uncontrollable amount of force.

At times, it was a little bit visually hazy, like my vision was clouded with a smokey cloud, but these
beings had pure white full length gowns with occasional glistening gold accents around them. They
had a human form and their heads were uncovered, I do not remember faces, but at the same time
there were elements of extremely sharp and acute sights such as the shimmering of sharp gold-flash
accents and very sharp beams of light. This whole time my vision was vastly superior to normal
capabilities. These gowns reached up to just beneath their heads and close around their necks in a
'crew neck' type style, they were fitted but not snug around them, flowing straight down beyond
their feet. The gowns were not tapered but more draped, with perhaps gentle length-wise
waves...they were like traditional type gowns. They were shimmering pearlescent with a satin-like
effect and had full length arms with the same material down to their wrists. The arms tapered
towards the ends of the wrists but not tight. Completely elegant - a thing of pure beauty.

This was all extremely vivid and sharp with hyper-acute senses, all of the sounds, sights, and
feelings...everything was hyper-intensified. The great light beyond the beings was very bright but it
did not hurt the eyes, I looked directly at it while completely filled with peace, while a spiritual
chorus of joy, that was much deeper and broader than euphoria, coursed through my inner being
and pushed outward and without limits. My inner being seemed to produce power, from the deepest
heart within, was this immeasurable love and purity beaming out from this being with immense force
- once you experience this power, everything else is a weak lie. The power of goodness, expanding
and flowing out like millions of spotlights pushing outward from within this former human, in infinite
directions were trillions of electric tons of pure but calm love and linear beauty...as I slowly floated
forward ever increasing in goodness towards this unearthly pure and powerful light. Without
question it was pure truth and love.

This power had a sense of warm pureness and lines, or individual threads, of light that contained
infinite levity and 'outwardness'. It was calm, perfectly still, and radiant, but it was also an extremely
intense energy. This power grew to be as large as the sky. The inner self of this man who became
pure spirit was generating love, peace, and light, and it was pushing out in every direction...as if one
turned a spotlight towards the night sky. I felt like that giant sphere looked, there was so much
power, the power that you are granted in the next life is unthinkable in human form, and
undefinable.

Finally, for once in my life I was plugged-in and belonged. I was connected and everything was
right...HOME! This is where I'm meant to be! It was perfection.

Conversely, this situation that was entered upon in this 'next life' was for me, and it is the greatest
gift ever received. What weary and bewildered man could easily accept this 'guest of honor' status,
that this spectacle was about yourself, and what best intentioned person could ever imagine such a
thing directed at them? I'm so thankful to those beings for treating me with such unearthly splendor,
and for this amazing light, for drawing me into himself. For once in my life I had true value.

As though on some edge, I looked back, and down, and there was the Earth hung very low, still, and
silent, in the immensity of the vast and black (but at the same time bright) outer-space, surrounded
by faint stars - exactly as you've seen it on space imagery. This scene was absolutely enormous. Only
when I saw the World from there, it did not seem grand at all, it seemed flat of power and pointless.
The surface of the dry land of the earth seemed dim-witted, bland of life, and monotonous. It had a
meaningless and very subtle "churn" of miniscule energy that was nearly imperceptible...the world
had no "pulse". It was just a big, dull, dumbfounded thing that had pointless activity going on but
nothing truly changed there. It just seemed vacant and there was barely any sense of energy, life, or
force. Whatever network that thinks that they have power down here has nothing. Nothing but some
pointless, silent, and nearly motionless 'grind'. It was far away, small, and void of purpose, voice, or a
soul.

The sense was that if I were to go back to Earth, with this knowledge, that it would easily and
radically change everything, everyone would be in awe of this new awareness of visiting the afterlife.
I was excited about this for a moment. The world seemed like a very easy thing to change from the
perspective of the afterlife. A part of me wanted to escape out of this situation and bring this story
back. For whatever reason a vision of one centralized "throne" of power down on earth was had,
while I was there, which was related to this knowledge that I could bring back.

But alas, having now returned to the form of a man, I can't accept that this world is structured to
know or care what the truth is. In fact, one could contend that the truth is countered at every turn
and intentionally kept hidden by our base-level controllers and manipulators, who are the very
stewards of darkness. They wouldn't want us to have knowledge that we hold claim to an absolute
freedom, which is accompanied by an enormous power, and true liberty. They would rather we
looked down on ourselves as faulty and defective and in need of help and management by the
'enlightened ones'. Are we willing to believe them?

This world is all about slavery and bondage which begins in the spirit realm where unaware humans
aren't as savvy as our clever adversaries. In truth, as long as we strive to be kind we are perfectly
imperfect, without the need of correction and management from our evil slave-masters with their
'perfecting of humans' "Illumination" scheme. We were created imperfect ON PURPOSE, and
striving for perfection is unnatural...and torture. So you can appreciate your imperfection as a
thing of beauty and elegance perfected already by God.

They were so gracious to me, cherished me, and saw great value in me. They moved slowly, postured
gracefully, and their types of movement were similar to each others - very elegant, gradual, and fluid.
This whole moment was brimming with this pure white light as we were standing in this cloud and
light, together. The feeling of suspension was still felt, and floating, as there was a gentle glow off
their satiny white gowns. Immersed in this beauty is where the gold accents were most prominent,
weather they were gold instruments or something else, occasional flashes were seen. These glares of
gold were very sharp, and instant, but didn't hurt my eyes...as I remained paused interfacing with the
being on my right. These beautiful beings were viewing me in a greeting way, it was very gentle, they
seemed to have a knowledge of who and what I was. They had an intense and deeply beautiful
appreciation of me, like my very presence brought incredible joy to these beings who know of love
perfected.

I believe that she was the last being in the isle to my right. Next was the light itself, at one point I
turned to this great light, and everything is turning pure white...eventually nothing can be seen but
white. Automatically drawn-in to this great light and now right up against it was this solitary creature,
about to learn more of the unknowable. It became a wall of white light which was intensely dramatic
with good feelings - no way to explain. The sense of a complete transformation of this powerful
goodness began to have a 'morphing' effect on me, inside. My very being was going to change - 'who
I am', and I was being saturated with love and transforming into this new super-being. This power
was recreating me and about to 'flash' a new being into existence. It was extraordinarily bright and I
was slowly going past a very fine threshold and now entering into the light itself, going inside the
sphere. I felt my insides radically begin to change into another type of being, like the feeling before
you go unconscious, but this was with the power of God's great love.
The power was becoming so great that even in this new highly-elevated state of the afterlife, I knew
something about me was about to change dramatically and beyond explanation, or reversal. In that
moment I realized exactly what was happening, it was like spiritual birth canal that I was entering
into with a sharp change beginning to take place, which was the point of no return. A realm that is so
far beyond any concept or words and impossible to begin to imagine. If I would have remained one
moment longer, one fraction of a millimeter farther, the sudden belief was that I never would have
or could have come back, which was realized in that instant...it was so good, so complete, so right. It
was like I was being born.

An official transformation into something which was the most unearthly, pure, bright, and powerful
sensation to the infinite degree. We are unable to conceptualize, let alone express, who and what
God is. Words could never describe this pure and beautiful power that expanded without restriction
or bounds - limitless.

Becoming one with that light, being absorbed into it, and becoming a part of the light, I finally
realized I was entering into what I knew of at the time as "Heaven". I believe that the great light was
what we know of as “God”. I was being greeted into the pack, brought into my family, and born unto
God. They loved me very greatly. The amount of appreciation for me was astonishing.

Surprise was sensed for being dead from this Earth, finally realizing that my earth life had passed,
'just like that', and I'm here now in the place that I've often wondered about! Dead and gone from
what and where I knew - it's down there, the Earth, I'm not there anymore! In your life you wonder
when you're going to die, and I was up there thinking, 'okay, so that's when I'm going to die, I'm dead
right now, it already happened, the mystery is over, wow, that was instant and unexpected...and
already over!'. 'No way, it can't be the right time, it's to fast!' - a truly strange perspective, in
retrospect.

These ever-giving entities could not have treated me better and no better feeling could have been
had. Before this happened I did nothing notable in life and was (and am) an ordinary person. In the
afterlife there was no "accountability", no different levels for different people, and no questioning. It
was the opposite of fear, hierarchy, or status...it was the very definition of "unconditional love".

1.

"I was on the stretcher going down the hallway of the hospital. I was being rushed into the
emergency room during a 'traumatic' premature birth after an auto accident. I heard the doctor say,
'Look at her! Give her oxygen!'

Instantly, I was in a dark tunnel or void in space, clutching onto the sides of the stretcher. I was not
aware at first, that I had left my body. I felt like me and was holding on. There were Beings around
me. I thought, 'What about the baby?' The Beings answered in my mind, 'It is his time to be born
again. If not to you, then to someone else.' I instantly knew that reincarnation was real. Even though
ultrasounds were not used at that time, I knew that this birth was a male.

I had other questions that were also answered by the Beings. They answered almost at the same
instant that I asked them. I have forgotten the other questions and answers now, except for the last
question. I was asked, 'Do you want to continue this life, or die?' I thought, 'What's death?' The Light
began to show me. I knew without a doubt that death was not an ending, but a wonderful opening to
my real life. I would be more knowledgeable and live in unconditional completeness and love. I
remember feeling almost unworthy of such an indescribable, unconditional love. I was in awe of how
much love was enveloping me. My next thought was, 'I have not been in this life that long and have
not shared very much love yet.'

In that instant, I reentered my earthly body. I was shaking uncontrollably with joy, to the point that
my teeth were even chattering."

And then silence. No heartbeat, just a loud buzz like the heart monitor sound when it goes flat. I
looked all around and saw below that it was me on the table. I saw them doing what the doctor
called a whiple stitch and she was moving quickly as nurses were shoving more sponges at the doctor
connected to long metal instruments. I remember feeling pulled away but hearing the nurse say stay
with me hun, you're okay hun. Are you okay?

And then white light hit me so hard on my face. A warmth I have never felt, like a big fuzzy blanket of
heat. I remember feeling immense love all around me. Pure love. I can't even describe this light and
love. I basked in this warmth and love for what seemed like forever. I couldn't get enough of it.

Then a single butterfly flew into the light. Just one.

Then a voice from the warm light said I know it is beautiful here but you can't stay. I know you want
to but you can't. I recognized the voice as my best friend's mom who passed away in October 2015. I
was there by her side when she passed and asked her to put in a good word for us to have a
daughter (we did). She was talking to me and the words were just coming from this big ball of light,
no face, just her voice was familiar to me. She continued saying please go back, your boys need you,
your husband needs you, and that beautiful baby girl needs her momma. Say hi to my girls, give them
a hug and kiss from me. Tell them I miss them so much but I am okay and they will be too. I
remember thinking but this is so beautiful- the light, the warmth, the beauty within the light and love
was more than earth could ever be.

I didn't want to go back but, as I was thinking this, I felt like I was being sucked back into the
darkness. Like a backwards motion of being sucked back into my body.

I woke up with this calm feeling that I was going to live and get through this. I remember feeling pain
again when I was awake after my experience. I had never felt so much pain in my life- it was
excruciating. It was the anethesia wearing off and they were still working on me. I asked the nurse if
she had put me under and I was coming out of the anethesia and she said no hun you just have the
spinal, we can't put you under right now, we need you aware and awake. We almost lost you. Then I
told her I felt like I was going to pass out from the pain.

I am just now starting to seek out answers and finding this page helped me a lot. Some days I
remember more that I had forgotten but the main parts I wrote about above stand out every single
time I close my eyes. I am so glad I am here to watch my babies grow up and spend more time with
my husband, family and friends. I am more involved in my kids' lives instead of always working. I help
bring supply bags to the NICU for families. I try to be a better person because that is what is
important in life."

JANE SMITH
I was totally aware. I was in blackness. I couldn't see anything. I was thinking to myself, "This isn't the
way it is supposed to be. I'm not supposed to know anything and I do. What on Earth has
happened?"

At that point I felt something leave my body. It was a whoosh. It went up through the top of my
head. I could feel it and I could hear it. Just a gentle whoosh. At that point I found myself standing in
a kind of gray mist. Then I knew I had died.

The memory of this experience is seared into my very soul. When I found myself standing in this gray
mist with the realization that I had died I remembered feeling so overjoyed, so thrilled, because I
knew that even though I was what we call "dead", I was still very much alive. Very much alive. I was
totally aware. I began to pour out these feelings of thanksgiving. I wasn't doing it verbally, but it
seemed that the very essence of me was saying "Thank you, thank you, God for setting it up this way,
that I really am immortal. I was not annihilated."

I was involved in this tremendous pouring forth of gratitude and joy and as that was going inside me,
this white light began to infiltrate my consciousness. It came into me. It seemed I went out into it. I
expanded into it as it came into my field of consciousness. There was nothing I was aware of except
this brilliant white light. The light brought with it the most incredible feeling of total love, total safety,
total protection. I was just enveloped in it. I remember feeling almost cradled by it. It was so dynamic
it was almost palpable.

As I existed in this white light, in this incredible love, I began to be rapturous. The rapture built. The
bliss built. My consciousness began to expand with the bliss of it all. Suddenly there came into my
field of consciousness an entire field of knowledge It was like a whole block of knowledge that just
simply came in and settled itself on me. I knew, what takes several sentences to tell, but it didn't
come in several sentences - it came all in one piece. What I knew was that I was immortal, that I was
eternal, that I was indestructible, that I always had been, that I always will be, and that there was no
way in this world I could ever be lost.

It was impossible for me to fall into a crack in the universe somewhere and never be heard from
again. I just knew that I was utterly safe and I always had been forever and ever.

When that block of knowledge was digested by me, as it were, another block of knowledge came in.
A whole field of knowledge came in to my being and what I knew then was that the universe runs
according to a perfect plan. I knew that the plan was perfect. Everything that we think about as being
hard to understand or unfair or cruel or whatever, that was really all without meaning. I know that is
very difficult, but I knew this. I understood it. I comprehended it in a way that when I came back from
the experience I really couldn't comprehend anymore. I understood that all of the things that we
worry about and concern us, we really don't have to worry about at all. There is a perfect plan and
the plan is working itself out in its perfection.

Then I simply remember I became more blissful, more rapturous, more ecstatic. I was just filling and
filling with this light and love that was in the light. The dynamics of this light are not static at all. They
are so dynamic and so much going on in there of love and joy and knowledge. As you take it into
yourself, or as it goes into you and you receive it, your ecstasy level just becomes tremendous.

I knew that I had lost all sense of having a body. It was just my consciousness, sort of pure and free
floating, and I did not think at all during this part of the experience. I had no thoughts. I was a
receiving station. I merely felt and absorbed and took in and did not think at all. I reached the point
in the rapture of it all where I thought to myself suddenly, the first thought.
"I wonder how much more of this I can stand before I shatter?"

With that thought, the light began to recede. So, the universe will not let us shatter. We cannot take
in more of this bliss and joy than we are able to handle at a time."

"As the light began to recede, the rapture that I had built up also began to dissipate. For a couple of
seconds, I could not remember what was going on. I remember thinking to myself, "I don't know how
I got here. I can't remember what's going on." I didn't know if I had been in that light for a minute of
a day or a hundred years. I think the force of all that energy just produced a condition in me of
amnesia for a couple of seconds. But that was not allowed to last very long either.

Within a second or two, I found myself standing in an absolutely beautiful green meadow. I knew
then what was going on. I knew once again who I was, that I had died. My amnesia period was over
with.

I stood there in this gorgeous meadow and I remember that the light there was different from the
light here on Earth. Though it was not that brilliant white light in which I was involved, it was a more
beautiful light. There was a goldenness to this light. I remember the sky was very blue. I don't recall
seeing the sun. The colors were extraordinary. The green of the meadow was fantastic. The flowers
were blooming all around and they had colors that I had never seen before. I was very aware that I
had never seen these colors before and I was very excited about it.

I thought I had seen all colors. I was thrilled to death of the beauty that was incredible. In addition to
the beautiful colors, I could see a soft light glowing within every living thing. It was not a light that
was reflected from the outside from a source, but it was coming from the center of this flower. Just
this beautiful, soft light. I think I was seeing the life inside of everything.

When I finished looking at this exquisite beauty, I started to walk. I had only taken a few steps before
I saw that there was in front of me a hill, a low hill. There were perhaps 18 to 20 people standing on
the hill. They were dressed in robes, very simple, I suppose Grecian type robes. They were also in all
these beautiful colors. There were men and women - more men than women I don't know why. I
thought about this a little bit, but there were both men and women there. There was no one that I
knew, but then I had no close emotional ties on the other side so it is not surprising that there was
no one there that I knew.

I felt to myself, "Oh, I want to talk with them." It seemed that immediately I was there on the top of
the hill. I don't know whether I was able to just glide there effortlessly or whether I only had to think I
wanted to be there and I was there. What I do remember was that I did not have to climb the hill.
There was no effort involved in this."

From Jayne Smith's NDE (Part 3 of 3)

"As I found myself at the top of the hill, I saw that over on the horizon and just a little bit lower on
the horizon, there was a city. I realized in some way that this was more than just a city, that what I
was seeing actually represented a world. I wondered, "Was that the world I just came from or the
one I am going to?" I never had a chance to find out because right at that moment, 3 or 4 of the men
that were in this group of people over on the hill, came to me and we met.

I said to them, "I know what has happened. I realize that I am dead. I know what's going on."
One man in the group did all the talking to me. He was quite tall, taller than the rest. I remember the
robe he was wearing was purple. He had a white fringe of hair that went around his head. The top of
his head was bald. He had an absolute marvelous face. It was very noble, very kind, what we would
think of as a very spiritual face. He also had about him a great deal of authority, so that I felt I was
talking to someone that I could trust completely.

When I said to him, "I know what's going on. I know that I have died," he said, "Yes, that's true, but
you are not going to be staying here. It isn't time for you to be here yet."

I must tell you that when we talked, we did not move our mouths. I can remember that I only had to
have the impulse that contained the things that I wanted to say and he would immediately be able to
get that and answer me. Even though he was not moving his mouth when he talked with me, I could
hear the sound of his voice in my inner ear. I know what he sounded like. It was a mental
transmission, yet I could hear what he sounded like. For a long, long time, I could remember the
sound of his voice.

I said to him again, "Everything that has happened to me since I crossed over is so beautiful.
Everything is so perfect. What about my sins?"

He said, "There are no sins, not the way you think of them on Earth. The only thing that has any
meaning here is what you think."

Then he asked me a question. "What is in your heart?"

Then in some incredible way that I don't understand at all, I was able to look deeply inside myself,
really into the very core of me to my essence. I saw that what was there was love, nothing else. My
core was perfect love, loving perfection. I had complete love and acceptance for everything. I saw my
own gentleness, tenderness, harmlessness. I simply was perfect and loving.

I said to him, "Of course!" I felt I was connecting with knowledge that I had known before. I
wondered how on Earth had I forgotten anything that important. I have known that.

I said, "Can you tell me what everything is all about - the whole world - everything?"

He said, "Yes."

He told me in only three sentences at the most. It was so simple. I understood that immediately. I
had total comprehension of what he was saying to me. I remember again saying to him, "Of course!"
Then there was that feeling again of connecting with knowledge I had once had. I wondered how on
Earth did I forget that.

I said to him, "Since I am not going to be able to stay, there are so many people I want to take this
back to. May I take this all back with me?"

He said, "You may take the answer to the first question back, the one about sins. But the answer to
the second one, you are not going to be able to remember."

The next thing I knew, there was a tremendous banging in my head. It was loud, it was fast, and it
was extremely irritating. It went on for just a few seconds - a loud bang, bang, bang, bang. Then that
was over and there was a sort of electronic click in my ear. I will never forget the sound of that click
because I remember thinking that it sounded almost like a tape recorder. When the click clicked, that
was it, I was back and I opened my eyes. My doctor was standing over me and he was doing
something that was extremely uncomfortable.
After the experience, I have never been able to remember the specific two or three sentences I was
told. I have tried and I have tried for years after this experience to make a concerted effort to try,
especially after I went to bed at night, when I would be lying there in that not quite asleep state. And
I never could. Finally, I just stopped trying to do that.

But, I do think I know what he was telling me even though I cannot recall the actual two or three
sentences. I know that it has to do with love. I believe it has to do with what I was enabled to see
when he said, "What is in your heart?" I looked inside myself and saw that I was perfect love.

Now this does not apply to just me. It applies to all human beings. That is what we are. That is our
core. This love, this perfection, this God-ness. I believe that what it is all about is that the world will
keep turning and we will have all these experiences and it will go on forever and ever and ever. As we
bring that into our consciousness and have it remain there all the time, our connection with God will
be there, not somewhere in our unconscious. We will be consciously aware of who we are all the
time. I think that's what the journey is."