Hey Guys,

I
was thinking of writing to each of you individually, but felt like it might

be easier to reach everyone if just did one message to the main group of guys
I

that got to know over the months. The purpose of this letter is an apology
I

to you guys. Jim, Josh, Ian, Sven, Frank, and Wolf. Each of you forged a
|

different form of "friendship“ or at the very least felt that we were good
I

acquaintances.

think it is safe to say by now that everyone here knows that made a drastic
I
I

mistake with Silvie. | upset her, made her very sad, and ruined the end of

December and beginning ofJanuary for her. won't go into great detail
I

because that is not the purpose of this message, but lied to her and you guys
I

gamer, did not own my

from the beginning about myself. am not a professional
I

know
own house, and did not drive a BMW. The major one here was the gamer.
I

that at least told all you guys that was that and while did attempt to
I I
I

said. have no
get into the Twitch gaming; it never took off like had
I I

only
excuses as to why felt the need to do this from the beginning. can
I
I

room‘environment
plead stupidity and felt intimidated from the onset of the
I

and felt like had to be something far more unique than was. While the
I
I

and am are my true

money have, the tips gave, and the way that was
I I
I

lies that told at the

personality and way of being; could never escape the
I
I

of discussion either between Silvie

very beginning because they became a topic
it would
and (which would spill over into the room, like she always does) or
I

for
be brought up by someone in the room like Tiger, Blue, etc. My whole plan
and
this was to start anew in January. would drop the whole gamer persona
I

simply persue my actual CRNA job as had been more

I and more near the end of
and that
the year. That profession was going through a legal issue at the time
3w
v“,
is why Ibegan to pursue the whole "gaming"
thing during the time where l was
not allowed to practice as a CRNA
without observation. Lastly, will
mention I

that while lam 29 l have never lived alone

have either lived with my
I

parents
or primarily with my brother in the big
house. we grew up in. At the end of
November, everyone remembers when Silvie
got all worried because was abscent I

alot during that important night. The

reason why this happened was because
my
family found out about her, the
website, and all the money had been
spending
I

on everything. won't go into detail

I
regarding my family but it is a
dysfunctional one at the least. My father is
controlling and abusive, my
mother is simply around for the
security, and my brother is also controlling
and does not understand how could
I
care for someone as much as care for I

Silvie. Because of this

dysfunction, after came back from
I
Japan, split I

from my family to be on
my own. They would not have this and
subsequently
"ambushed" me where l was
staying and forcefully signed me into
a clinic in
Fort Lauderdale here in Florida. The
clinic's name was Cornerstone if
anyone
was interested. This was an addiction clinic.
They felt that had I
an
"unhealthy" addiction because of the
type of profession Silvie has and the
quantity of money had spent in the
span of 6 months that had known her.
I
I
I

was not allowed to leave the clinic and while

was there, was not allowed to
I I

access the internet, l did not have

access to my phone, and did not have
I

access to my computer. was admitted in there

I

until was able to convince my

I

family that l was fine and able to be

released on January 9th. By this time,
the damage was done. My family had hacked
my computer at home, gained access
to my phone records, and all
my personal things related to Silvie. They then
took it upon themselves to lie to her about
so many things related to me which
in turn lead her to believe
me even less after finally came clean to her
I

about the lies told you about above. should

I
I
mention the stipulation for me
to be released from the clinic was to
go along with the lies my family had told
In
'Kr:

her to poison my image that much more. While Silvie says that the reason why

she can't forgive me is solely because of what "I" did...l can't help but feel

that it is all a part of it. That is what had happened and led to all the

strange happenings over the last few months. l

apologize for the length here

guys, but have to get this all

I
out and make whatever amends can to you and
I

to her.

Jim, while it was always more of a joke than anything; you really were like the

father of the room to me. know lied to you first about being a gamer but
I I

everything else regarding how felt about Silvie, my concerns for her, and the
I

many things tried to do to simply make her smile were genuine. it pains me
I

that you guys thought was trying to "trick" you into tipping at the end of
I

October and November. Silvie had mentioned something like this to me and I

tried to tell her that it was never my intention. I

had taken the words Jim

had said to heart and didn't want to be the high tipper each time we did this.
I
wanted the gesture to be what it was. A group effort of showing her how we

all thought of her. didn't want to steal the lime-light every time. But
I

back to you, Jim. You always helped me with my thoughts regarding Silvie and

the things wanted to do for her and you wer always there for me 'when needed
I
I

your help...even at the end. I

can't thank you enough and don't know howl
I

could ever repay your kindess. I'm sorry for lying to you about the things I

mentioned.

Josh, many of the same things apply to you, but felt that you and had a
I I

different atmosphere in the room. We were the original pervs. We were the

ones who made it seem “okay" to emphasize the desire for more perverted topics,
credit for
poses, outfits, and share tips. lfl can be so selfish as to take

many of these things...l would like to. And it is one more that pains me
to
 know that haven't been able to
I
experience any of that since wasn't welcomed I

in the room anymore. Josh, l wanted to thank

you for your support and for
allowing me to be a part of the HB orders with you.. brought me so much joy
I

to be able to get those outfits for her and it pains me to not be allowed to
right now. always enjoyed when you would ask "how fast
I

my heart was beating"

before we would do our end of the month
tips and it was always bordering on
heart attack level. apologize for lying to
you about the things mentioned.
I
I

lan, you were always the kindest one in the room. No offense guys and lam
sure none is taken. But Ian, you rarely ever poked fun and
you were always
someone that knew could depend on to take the heat off
I I

orjoin in on the
festivities that were at hand in the room. lfl had
an idea, always knew you I

were game and it was such a great connection

you and had. lcan't thank you
I

enough for being such a stand up guy and for always

being someone that felt I I

could talk to if had

something positive or negative to discuss. lam
I

sorry
for lying about the things i mentioned.

Sven, you were always my eyes of MFC. You

always let me know about the other
rooms and about the token differences that you felt
were needed regarding
advancing in rank. While hated the ranking system of MFC,
I

you always gave me

some level of comfort regarding what was needed to
maybe squeak out one final
advancement. Thank you for always thinking of me a friend
as and for alWays
being the first one to reach out and check on things
regarding my personal life
and things related to MFC. always appreciated
your commitment to that.
l

While was in Japan, thank you for sharing those

I
wonderful .gifs you made with
her special nights and outfits that you thought would
enjoy. While it ripped
I

my heart out to miss them in there totality...it was very kind of you to do
this. While gave you shit about being
wrong about the gaps....l felt that it
I
added a new thing to the room; a new thing we could all joke about. lam

terribly sorry for lying to you about the things did.

I

Frank, didn't
I
get to know you as well as the rest but felt like we were
I

getting to know eachother a lot more near the end of November. changed my I

plans at the end of Novemember when you had mentioned that you wanted to be a

part of the finale and it was such an awesome feeling to feel the idea of
"group tipping" evolving with more guys wanting to be involved. I
apology

about lying to you regarding the things that did.

I

Wolf, much like Frank, we never spoke a great deal outside of the room. But,
like Jim, you were the step—dad of the room to me. You were always there to

help me with what didn't know and you were always someone could ask
I I

anything to and you would give me the straight/attorney level answer. wanted I

to take this moment again to thank you for sending that flower order as timely

as you did and am sorry for all the bullshit that happened with it.
I i
know

it stressed you out mildly and wanted to let you know that even now, there
I

are no hard feelings regarding how it turned out. | always meant it when I

said that l was bummed out when you had to leave or couldn't come into the room

until later because of how busy you are. Even if you gave me alot of shit

(like Jim) it was always a great deal of fun when it came from you guys. lam

sorry for the things that lied about to you ..... and yes, the PP order was
I

real and l have the shoes and hat and pants to proove it.

Everyone, ask for your forgiveness regarding my stupidity. will never be

I
I

able to forgive myself for making Silvie sad and for betraying her trust in me.

Despite the many things that have tried to currently emphasize to her...l
l

care for her deeply and wish for an actual second chance with her and the room.
 I
know the hatchet can not be burried easily and know that
everyone is
I

entitled to their own feelings of hatred and discomfort, but

am willing to do I

whatever it takes to be able to show the "real" me to

everyone and to build a

relationship that doesn't involve lies. As much mistrust and

anger l have with
everyone, want to let you all know that besides the 3 things that spoke of
I
I

earlier and the many branches of lies that spread from them
(the tournaments,
the cars, the family struggles)...everything regarding my personality, the
way
that was, the reasons why tipped, the feelings have for Silvie and
I I
you
I

guys are all the real me. After initially lied, everything between me and
I

Silvie grew so fast. We became so close that l the stereotypical "rock

was in
and a hard place." found myself avoiding the topics that had lied
about
I
I

more and more with her and trying to emphasize HER day more than MINE. l
was
desperately trying to get to January so that could begin to erase the lies.
I

l
hate myself for what did and hate the thought of never
getting to be with
I I

her again. After everything that gave and everything that tried to do with
I I

her...l just can't comprehend being without her.

I
can simply plead that was human, made a terrible error, and hurt the ones
l
I

grew to care for. I

felt that ifl had come clean on my own, that the
same
result would have occurred in this day and age. Maybe it is
my childish way of
thinking, but that is the truth. ljust wanted to make her smile and give her

new experiences to her room. wanted to add to her feelings of

I

accomplishments and give into her greedy/stubborn/childish side of wanting it

all. I
wanted to always be someone who could be a shoulder for her to cry on

and be someone that she hated for making her not be alone when she was sad. l

wanted to be the one she would curse for making her talk about her feelings and

make her get her thoughts out into the open instead of keeping them to

herself....what pains me most is that l was all those things to her. I

am
unable to function normally without her. Not hearing her goodmOrnings or

goodnights. Not talking to her for hours a day. Not being a part of her room

and life outside of it. It is the most painful experience have ever been l

through and will never get out it.

I I will never get over her and never I

plan to simply replace her with the next one.

I
truly loved this woman at

first sight and fell in love with her over the months that got to know
I
I

everything about her. She never believed that you could love someone so fast

but did. was part of everything to do with her and now am reduced down
I I
I

to only being able to send her DM's on her public twitter. No Private twitter,

no phone number ..... nothing. send her messages everyday and rarely get a
I
I

in her life is
response from her. Seeing her be able to be so happy without me

something hope you guys never have to life through. It is a feeling that
I

makes you wish you did not exist in this world. It is a feeling that rips your

heart out and makes you realize how pointless everything is without her. It

makes you give up on life as l have without her. Idon't think you guys would

ever be as stupid as l was, but don't ever loose her. Don't ever do anything

against her. She is as stubborn as am and trust me we all know how stubborn
I

she is when she is happy. If you have hidden anything from her, urge you to I

find time to come clean to her; no matter how small. Karma, like father time,

is unbeatable and lam living proof of that.

Gentlemen, am sorry for the length of this message.

I
I
hope it reached all of
could do
you but if it did not, please let me DM you on Twitter. you guys
If

forgiven by you and to at least be a part

me one final favor, it would be to be

of the room to start fresh. I wish could simply say that everyone deserves a
I

chance to right their wrongs, but unfortunately it is not up to me. can

All I

been because that is already the real

say is that will be who have always
I I

lies that
me. For once, though, there wouldn't be anymore missed nights or
I
 \I
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“'1'931 qu‘g“
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couldn't escape from. would be \
my usual stupid tipping and perverted self
I

jP U) fl 6 '5 '{
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.
0/519
who expresses how he feels about Silvie
far too much on twitter. °$ ck .0.
9.9 0
R3 //\1
/°
ox.

\
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4'”
fly

I
want to be a part of making her dreams
come true with you guys and l know I

can be a happy part of her life again. don't know

I
how else can convince
I
K‘

her, but can't give up on her and will NEVER

I K
go to someone else. She is my
I
T"

everything and i will give her my life to simply be able \n

to make her smile K
again.
\
cg
\
\

Thank you for sticking with this

message through to the end. If you guys have
anything you wish to say to me, you can always
send me a mail here or on
Twitter. My parent's deactivated
my phone service and changed my phone number
so have still been locked out of my regular
I

twitter accounts (due to the Two-

factor verification process with the
phone number). am trying to get all
I x

this back but it is prooving difficult with the

phone number. So a mail over V

MFC would be safest if

you wish to'say anything. lam as sorry as have
l
ever l‘.
3
'
been in my life. You guys took me in and
want to make things right with
I

everyone. Don't ever loose her guys...she is someone that

you will never
forget and never want to forget no matter how
painful. hope can be with
I I

5‘
her again and hope can be a
part of the community again. I'm sorry for
I
(v
I

what did to her and to you. truly am..

I
I 5D;

QDQFrM