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How to

WRITE A
MEMOIR

A 3-Step Guide

How t o W r i t e You r M e moi r : A 3 - S t e p Gu i de


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M
emoir is not just a fancy literary term for an autobiography. I say
that from the start, because I hear the terms used interchangeably
so often.

Your memoir will be autobiographical, but it will not be your life story.
Confused yet? Stay with me.

Simply put, an autobiography is likely to cover one’s birth to the present —


emphasis often on accomplishments, but the more honest and revelatory
the better.

A memoir draws on selected anecdotes from your life to support a theme


and make a point. For instance, if your point is how you came from some
unlikely place to where you are now, you would choose scenes from your
life to support that.

Maybe you came from:

• The wrong side of the tracks


• A broken home
• Having been a victim of abuse
• Addiction
• An orphanage

To a position of:

• Wealth
• Status

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• Happiness
• Health
• Faith

You might start with memories that show how bad things once were for you.
Then you would show pivotal experiences in your life, important people in your
transformation, what you learned, and how you applied certain principles to see
this vast change.

Naturally, the better the stories, the better the memoir. However, great stories
are not the point — and frankly, neither is the memoirist (you).

What Publishers Look For

Don’t buy into the idea that only famous people can sell a memoir. Sure, if you’re
a household name and people are curious about you, that’s an advantage.

But memoirs by nobodies succeed all the time — and for one reason: they
resonate with readers because readers identify with truth. Truth, even hard,
gritty, painful truth, bears transferrable principles.

Memoirs full of such relatable candor attract readers, and readers are what
publishers want. An astute agent or acquisitions editor can predict how relatable
a memoir will be and take a chance on one from an unpublished unknown.

Agents and editors tell me they love to discover such gems — the same way they
love discovering the next great novelist.

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So, when writing your memoir…

You may be the subject, but it’s not about you — it’s about what readers can gain
from your story.

It may seem counterintuitive to think reader-first while writing in the first-


person about yourself. But if your memoir doesn’t enrich, entertain, or enlighten
readers, they won’t stay with it long, and they certainly won’t recommend it.

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How to Write a Memoir in 3 Steps
1. Know Your Theme

And remember, it’s not that you’ve made something of yourself — even if you
have. Sorry, but nobody cares except those who already love you.

Your understated theme must be, “You’re not alone. What happened to me can
also happen to you.”

That’s what appeals to readers. Even if they do come away from your memoir
impressed with you, it won’t be because you’re so special — even if you are.
Whether they admit it or not, readers care most about their own lives.

Imagine a reader picking up your memoir and thinking, What’s in this for
me?The more of that you offer, the more successful your book will be. Think
transferable principles in a story well told.

Cosmic Commonalities

All people, regardless of age, ethnicity, location, and social status, share certain
felt needs: food, shelter, and love. They fear abandonment, loneliness, and the
loss of loved ones. Regardless your theme, if it touches on any of those wants
and fears, readers will identify.

I can read the memoir of someone of my opposite gender, for whom English
is not her first language, of a different race and religion, who lives halfway

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around the world from me — and if she tells the story of her love for her child
or grandchild, it reaches my core.

Knowing or understanding or relating to nothing else about her, I understand


love of family.

Worried About Uniqueness?

Many writers tell me they fear their theme has been covered many times by
many other memoirists. While it’s true, as the Bible says, that there’s nothing
new under the sun, no one has written your story, your memoir, your way.

While I still say it’s not about you but really about your reader, it’s you who lends
uniqueness to your theme. Write on!

How to Write a Memoir Without Preaching

Trust your narrative to do the work of conveying your message. Too many
amateurish memoirists feel the need to eventually turn the spotlight on the
reader with a sort of “So, how about you…?”

Let your experiences and how they impacted you make their own points, and
trust the reader to get it. Beat him over the head with your theme and you run
him off.

You can avoid being preachy by using what I call the Come Alongside Method.
When you show what happened to you, if the principles apply to your reader he
doesn’t need that pointed out. Give him credit.

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2. Carefully Select Your Anecdotes
The best memoirs let readers see themselves in your story so they can identify
with your experiences and apply to their own lives the lessons you’ve learned.

If you’re afraid to mine your pain deeply enough tell the whole truth, you may
not be ready to write your memoir. There’s little less helpful — or marketable
— than a memoir that glosses over the truth.

So feature anecdotes from your life that support your theme, regardless how
painful it is to resurrect the memories. The more introspective and vulnerable
you are, the more effective will be your memoir.

Worried about throwing family members under the bus by telling the truth?
That’s a legitimate concern. Click on the link above for suggestions.

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3. Write It Like a Novel
It’s as important in a memoir as it is in a novel to show and not just tell.
Example:

Telling

My father was a drunk who abused my mother and me. I was scared to death
every time I heard him come in late at night.

Showing

As soon as I heard the gravel crunch beneath the tires and the car door open
and shut, I dove under my bed. I could tell by his footsteps whether Dad
was sober and tired or loaded and looking for a fight. I prayed God would
magically make me big enough to jump between him and my mom, because
she was always his first target…

Use every trick in the novelist’s arsenal to make each anecdote come to life:
dialogue, description, conflict, tension, pacing, everything.

Worry less about chronology than theme. You’re not married to the
autobiographer’s progressive timeline. Tell whatever anecdote fits your point
for each chapter, regardless where they fall on the calendar. Just make the details
clear so the reader knows where you are in the story.

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You might begin with the most significant memory of your life, even from
childhood. Then you can segue into something like, “Only now do I understand
what was really happening.” Your current-day voice can always drop in to tie
things together.

Character Arc

As in a novel, how the protagonist (in this case, you) grows is critical to a
successful story. Your memoir should make clear the difference between who
you are today and who you once were. What you learn along the way becomes
your character arc.

Point of View

It should go without saying that you write a memoir in the first-person. And
just as in a novel, the point-of-view character is the one with the problem, the
challenge, something he’s after. Tell both your outer (what happens) and your
inner (its impact on you) story.

Structure

In his classic How to Write Bestselling Fiction, novelist Dean Koontz outlines what
he calls the Classic Story Structure. Though intended as a framework for a novel,
it strikes me that this would be perfect for a memoir too — provided you don’t
change true events just to make it work.

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For fiction, Koontz recommends writers:

1 — Plunge your main character into terrible trouble as soon as possible


2 — Everything he does to try to get out of it makes it only progressively worse
until…
3 — His situation appears hopeless
4 — But in the end, because of what he’s learned and how he’s grown through all
those setbacks, he rises to the challenge and wins the day.

You might be able to structure your memoir the same way merely by how you
choose to tell the story. As I say, don’t force things, but the closer you can get to
that structure, the more engaging your memoir will be.

For your purposes, Koontz’s Terrible Trouble would be the nadir of your life.
(If nadir is a new word for you, it’s the opposite of zenith.) Take the reader with
you to your lowest point, and show what you did to try to remedy things. If your
experience happens to fit the rest of the structure, so much the better.

Setups and Payoffs

Great novels carry a book-length setup that demands a payoff in the end, plus
chapter-length setups and payoffs, and sometimes even the same within scenes.

The more of these the better.

The same is true for your memoir. Virtually anything that makes the reader
stay with you to find out what happens is a setup that demands a payoff. Even

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something as seemingly innocuous as your saying that you hoped high school
would deliver you from the torment of junior high makes the reader want to
find out if that proved true.

Make ‘em Wait

Avoid using narrative summary to give away too much information too early.
I’ve seen memoir manuscripts where the author tells in the first paragraph how
they went from abject poverty to independent wealth in 20 years, “…and I want
to tell you how that happened.”

To me, that just took the air out of the tension balloon, and many readers would
agree and see no reason to read on. Better to set them up for a payoff and let
them wait. Not so long that you lose them to frustration, but long enough to
build tension.

Common Memoir Mistakes to Avoid

• Making it too much like an autobiography (missing a theme)


• Including minutiae
• Bragging
• Glossing over the truth
• Preaching
• Effecting the wrong tone: funny, sarcastic, condescending

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How to Start Your Memoir
Your goal is to hook your reader, so begin in medias res—in the middle of things.
If you start slowly, you lose readers interest. Jump right into the story!

Memoir Examples

Thoroughly immerse yourself this genre before attempting to write in it. I read
nearly 50 memoirs before I wrote mine (Writing for the Soul). Here’s a list to get
you started:

• All Over But the Shoutin’ by Rick Bragg (my favorite book ever)
• Cultivate by Lara Casey
• A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway
• Out of Africa by Karen Blixen
• Angela’s Ashes by Frank McCourt
• Still Woman Enough by Loretta Lynn
• Born Standing Up by Steve Martin
• The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion
• This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff
• Molina by Benjie Molina and Joan Ryan

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H ope you enjoyed this thorough guide. You
can share it with a friend below if you found it
useful—and stay tuned for many other actionable
tips!

— Jerry B. Jenkins

J erry Jenkins is the author of 21 New York Times bestsellers, including


the popular Left Behind series. He’s also written over 185 other books
and is sought around the world for his expertise in writing and publishing.
Jerry currently lives in Colorado with his wife Dianna.

Did this guide make you a better writer?


Click below to share it and help someone else!

How to Write Your Memoir: A 3-Step Guide was first posted to


JerryJenkins.com on July 19, 2017.

©2017 Jerry B. Jenkins. All rights reserved.

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