***The Mad Hatter (a Disney character from the movie Alice in Wonderland)***

There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger!
Some say to survive it.
You need to be as mad as a hatter. [picks up his hat]
Which luckily I am.
What a regrettably large head you have. I would very much like to hat it. I used to hat The White
Queen, you know. Her head was so small.
Have I gone mad? (to the audience)
I'm investigating things that begin with the letter M.
You used to be much more..."muchier." You've lost your muchness. (hatter speaks to Alice)
Do you have any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?
Speaking of the Queen, here's a little song we used to sing in her honor:
"Twinkle twinkle little bat, how I wonder where you're at. Up..." hahahaha (laughing madly)
All together now! (to the audience)
"Up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky. Twinkle twinkle..." (laughing sarcastically
crazy)
Only if you believe it is. [chuckles]
When that day comes I shall be futterwacken... vigorously.
Well. The entire world is falling to ruins and poor Cheshire's off his tea.
Your carriage, my lady.
Of course. Anyone can go by horse or rail, but the absolute best way to travel is by hat. Have I made a
rhyme?
That is an excellent practice.
Why is it you're always too small or too tall?
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe. (mumbling unknown English words)
What was what? [continues walking] (chuckles)
The Jabberwock, with eyes aflame, Jaws that bait and claws that catch, Beware the Jabberwock, my
son, The frumious Bandersnatch . He took his vorpal sword in hand .
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack . He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. Its
all about you, you know
...Mind? [Hatter stops, puts Alice down on a log, and continues walking while thinking]
You don't slay? Do you have any idea what the Red Queen has done? You don't slay.
You're not the same as you were before You were much more..."muchier" You've lost your
"muchness"
In there. [Points to Alice's heart] Heart!
What is the hatter with me?
Yes, yes-but you would have to be half-mad to dream me up.
Rise up against the bloody red queen.
Down with the bloody big head!
[Meeting the Red Queen]
You have a regrettably large head! I would very much like to hat it!
I've been considering words that start with the letter M. Moron. Mutiny. Murder. Mmm-malice.
No! oh, I’m sorry don’t take my hat away, I'd like to keep it on. Even if I’m dead.
That is an excellent practice. (talking to the audience smiling like mad but w/ excellence) (bow)