FIVE RULES FOR TAKING THE BAR, AND THE LIFE AFTERWARDS

A Message to the Barristers

By Atty. Melanie Trinidad

(Published in The Red Chronicles, the Official Student Publication of San Beda College Alabang School of
Law)

Good evening, Barristers.

When asked to impart a message of hope and inspiration, I thought it would be an arduous task. That’s
because I would be speaking before a crowd of anxious individuals; and there’s nothing I will say tonight
which you hadn’t heard yesterday and many days before: “You can do it; you’re a born winner; you’ve
worked hard; you’re a Bedan; you are this; you are that, and so forth and so on.” What else could anyone
add to that?

On the other hand, I am in the center of this room not because I’m larger than life, but only because I
have lived it longer than most of you have. I am not an over-achiever, and there’s no saying that my life
would have been easier, happier or altogether better had I been one. Yet, what I have to share with you
tonight are a few of life’s lessons which have guided me along the path that I have chosen for myself;
hopefully, they will also help you in the bar and in the many days and years to come.

Quite fittingly, I call them my five rules for taking the bar and the life afterwards. I hope you listen, and
listen well.

My first rule: Do not think yourself average. Sure, you may not have been in the top of your class. You
may not even be this year’s bar bet. I certainly wasn’t. But that does not make us average. Still, in order
to reach greater heights, one must think himself or herself as exceptional, excellent and extraordinary.
Undoubtedly, you might pass the bar even if not everybody thinks you can; but your chances become
even slimmer if you are one of those “not everybody.” So whatever self-doubt you still have, it’s time to
let that inner enemy go. From now on, make confidence your friend, and your new friend will take you to
higher places. Never mind how many readings your roommate has so far done or how many legal
maxims he has memorized. As they say, “we do not measure our success by what others have achieved.”
Instead, we look into ourselves and find that special, incomparable and unique trait that we alone have
been gifted with. And then build our life on that. Remember, we are all created by God in his image;
indeed, we are the prototype of perfection.

My second rule: Do not overrate luck. It has been said that “the difference between luck and ability is its
duration.” Luck lets us through the journey; but it is ability which takes us to the final destination. Your
ability has qualified you for the bar. Sure, half the time, there’s an edge to being at the right place at the
right time, and so they say. But it’s still up to us to look for that place. Luck doesn’t find it for us. As an
esteemed writer once said, “If we depend on luck, we will never prepare for our success.”

My third rule: Count your blessings, no matter how few they may seem. The day you stop counting is the
day you’ll stop receiving. Such is the balance of life. I now recall my late father who had to be the most
grateful and prayerful person I knew. He prayed the moment he woke up before sunrise, and he prayed
before he closed his eyes after sunset. In his old age, I asked him what it was he prayed for every waking
day of his life. I thought for sure he’d say that he prayed for our mom, his wife of fifty years; and us, his
four children. Instead, he said, “I prayed for a long life for myself, because for as long as I lived, I would
continue to be blessed, and for as long as I was blessed, I would be able to share my blessings with my
family and with every big and small person that God has put in my life.”

That very moment, I learned the art of counting my blessings. And I hope you learn that too. For no
matter how vile and depraved the stories are in our part of the globe, there is still so much hope and
optimism brewing somewhere. While one lost youth is being convicted, a repentant old man is being
pardoned; while an overseas worker is suffering in the hands of cruel foreign employer, there is another
one returning home to his or her family with gifts bought from hard-earned money, and stories of love,
friendship, and survival; and while much of the legal profession has been corrupted by deceit, treachery,
and fraud, there will always be room for one honest, devoted and God-fearing lawyer who would never
give his soul for the possessions of this earthly life. There is enough room for you and the person who
sits next to you tonight.

My fourth rule: Pray for others, for truly, the most effective prayer is the one we say for others, and the
one that others say for us. On the first day of my bar exams, my batchmates and I rode the
airconditioned and school-provided bus from our also school-provided first-class hotel to the venue of
the exams which at the time was the De La Salle University in Taft. Up until that time, I kept praying to
the Almighty to help me pass. I really had nothing and nobody else to pray for. Fear, for sure, makes self-
centered and egotistical individuals. But once in the venue, all my perceptions changed. I saw many
other examinees, some of whom coming all the way from the province the night before; some of whom
alighting from the jeepney, their smoke-belched trip failing in comparison to the restful bus ride that I
just had; and some wearing faces that showed no sign of optimism, just plain dread and trepidation. In
an instant, my prayer changed. I could not pray for myself anymore. Instead, I told God, that though I had
wanted so much to pass that exam, if there was anyone who needed it more at that time, then “Thy will
be done.” Those four words were indeed difficult to utter.

I would later pass the bar. In God’s infinite wisdom, I realized that I was the one who needed it most. And
in his infinite mercy, I experienced my humble triumph.

My last rule: Remember that before lawyers, we are first wives or husbands; daughters or sons; and
mothers or fathers. I am not married so I will not profess to know the secret to a lasting marriage. In my
youth, I fell in love with a man who had gorgeous eyes, and when he looked at me, I wanted to marry
those eyes. But I was told it went with the whole package, including his belly and his heart. The next man
had beautiful strong arms; and after him was a man with a beautiful mind. If only I could marry body
parts, I would have accumulated fifty husbands by now; probably separated as many times too. But then
I was destined for a different calling. I was to be a mother, and a perfect, not average mother, I have
since continually strived to be. What I am saying is that if we can move mountains to pass the bar, win a
case and render landmark decisions, then we should be able to move the universe to become the best
spouses, children and parents that God had called for us to be. After all, laws were made for the family;
but no family was ever made for the law.

I end this message with a quote from the great Lao Tzu who said “A good teacher shows you where to
look but does not tell you what to see.” As your professors, we have guided you through the traps, trials
and tribulations that have mercilessly accompanied your journey to becoming lawyers. We hope that
you now see the grandeur that lies beneath.

Good luck. And may you all help to make this country the beautiful place it was meant to be.