Topic: "A FRIEND FOR ALL SEASONS”

Facilitator: Owusu Jacob Jnr.

THEME SONG: SDAH 286 Wonderful words of Life

A quick exercise
 Roughly, how many friends do you have… just give a number.
 *Do you have a friend who is not your friend? (share common experience)
 Do we need to make enemies too?
Who is a Friend?
 A friend—the one who comes in when the whole world goes out
 One who knows the song in your heart and can sing to you when forgotten
 One who shares in your joys and pains, one you can associate with in all seasons
(Always there for the other).
The Value of a Friend.--Things will go wrong with every one; sadness and discouragement
press every soul; then a personal presence, a friend who will comfort and impart strength, will
turn back the darts of the enemy that are aimed to destroy. Christian friends are not half as
plentiful as they should be. In hours of temptation, in a crisis, what a value is a true friend!
Satan at such times sends along his agents to cause the trembling limbs to stumble; but the
true friends who will counsel, who will impart magnetic hopefulness, the calming faith
that uplifts the soul,--oh, such help is worth more than precious pearls (Letter 7, 1883)!
{3BC 1163.6}
Benefits
 Spiritual Social Emotional
How we make friends (DEFAULT).
 Classmates
 Church members
 Social clubs
 Casual friends (Miscellaneous)
Categories of friends (Actual)
MODEL
Someone who personifies the goals we have set for ourselves, who has travelled the path before
us, and to whom we can look for wise counsel.

Pr 22:11 ¶ He whose heart is clean is dear to the Lord; for the grace of his lips the king will be
his friend. (have you made a model friend because you led in doing something good?)
Pr 27:10 Do not give up your friend and your father's friend; and do not go into your brother's
house in the day of your trouble: better is a neighbour who is near than a brother far off. (do
you have someone close who when in trouble you fall on?)
How/where do we get/make such friends?
 Find them in the church
 At work place
 Programs (We make some and some make us)
Christian sociability is altogether too little cultivated by God's people. . . . By social
intercourse acquaintances are formed and friendships contracted which result in a unity of heart
and an atmosphere of love which is pleasing in the sight of heaven. {ML 204.4}
Everyone will find companions or make them. And just in proportion to the strength of the
friendship, will be the amount of influence which friends will exert over one another for good
or for evil. All will have associates, and will influence and be influenced in their turn. {ML
204.5}

CO-EQUALS
The friend we most readily recognize is a peer, someone with whom we share ideals, concepts,
and plans; someone who inspires us to be our best and achieve the most for the right reasons.

Pr 17:17 ¶ A friend is loving at all times, and becomes a brother in times of trouble.
Pr 18:24 ¶ A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that
sticketh closer than a brother.
Pr 27:9 ¶ Oil and perfume make glad the heart, and the wise suggestion of a friend is
sweet to the soul.
Pr 27:16 He who keeps secret the secret of his friend, will get himself a name for good faith.
17 Iron makes iron sharp; so a man makes sharp his friend.
Pr 27:6 The wounds of a friend are given in good faith, but the kisses of a hater are false.

What are the cautions we should take in picking such friends?

The link is a mysterious one which binds human hearts together, so that the feelings, tastes,
and principles of two individuals are closely blended. One catches the spirit and copies the
ways and acts of the other. As wax retains the figure of the seal, so the mind retains the
impression produced by intercourse and association. The influence may be unconscious, yet it
is no less powerful. . . . If choice is made of companions who fear the Lord, the influence will
lead to truth, to duty, and to holiness. A truly Christian life is a power for God. {ML 204.6}
The warmth of true friendship . . . is a foretaste of the joys of heaven.

MENTEE (God’s interest)---- mostly where our “enemies” fall

There is the friend who admires us, regarding us as a pattern. We need to cherish the
opportunity to be a friend to such a person, though the relationship may not be to our personal
advantage. Only in eternity will we know the extent of our influence on such a person.
Composition
Evil doers - Unguided youth – Humble/respectful youth – Evil Bosses
Pr 6:1 ¶ My son, if you have made yourself responsible for your neighbour, or given your word
for another, 2 You are taken as in a net by the words of your mouth, the sayings of your lips
have overcome you. 3 Do this, my son, and make yourself free, because you have come into
the power of your neighbour; go without waiting, and make a strong request to your neighbour.
4 Give no sleep to your eyes, or rest to them; 5 Make yourself free, like the roe from the hand
of the archer, and the bird from him who puts a net for her.
How to relate to them
Pr 25:21 ¶ If your hater is in need of food, give him bread; and if he is in need of drink, give
him water: 22 For so you will put coals of fire on his head, and the Lord will give you your
reward.
We can win souls through friendship. We can attract to Christ and His love those who do not
understand the distinctive message of Adventism, as we include them in our social occasions.
When we remain separate from them, unwilling or unable to relate to them in relaxed social
settings, they will not find our message attractive. Kindness is hard to resist. Most people
readily give in to it! "The example of Christ in linking Himself with the interests of humanity
should be followed by all who preach His word, and by all who have received the gospel of
His grace. We are not to renounce social communion. We should not seclude ourselves from
others. In order to reach all classes, we must meet them where they are. They will seldom seek
us of their own accord."—The Desire of Ages, p. 152.
Can we neglect (is it an option)?
Pr 21:13 ¶ He whose ears are stopped at the cry of the poor, will himself get no answer to his
cry for help.
 How can individuals and the church follow this counsel? What is a hindrance to obeying
this? must the hindrance be at all?
 "These admonitions have been strangely neglected… Among our own people the
opportunity of showing hospitality is not regarded as it should be, as a privilege and a
 blessing. There is altogether too little sociability, too little of a disposition to make room
for two or three more at the family board, without embarrassment or parade… By the
unexpected guest a welcome is appreciated far more than is the most elaborate
preparation."—Testimonies for the Church, vol. 6, p. 343.

What about the popular statement… “Show me your friend…”

Our mistake is that we place people at the wrong category, those who are supposed be
mentees, we make them equals and models.
We are to lead those below to be at par with us, and eventually make them models for
others. Have you really been a friend over the years?

CONCLUSION
Chap. 49 - Jesus Our Best Friend
Suppose a friend were with us, and we should meet an acquaintance on the way and direct
our whole attention to our new-found acquaintance, ignoring the presence of our friend, what
opinion would men have of our loyalty to our friend, of our degree of respect to him? And yet
this is the way we treat Jesus. We forget that He is our companion. We engage in conversation,
and never mention His name. . . . We talk of worldly business matters, and where it does not
bruise the soul, where it is essential, we do not dishonor Jesus, but we do dishonor Him when
we fail to mention Him in our intercourse with our friends and associates. He is our best friend,
and we should seek for opportunities to speak of Him. . . . We should ever keep Him in view.
Our conversation should be of a character that would be of no offense to God. {OHC 55.3}
I know that in many hearts the inquiry arises, "Where shall I find Jesus?" There are many
who want His presence, want His love and His light; but they know not where to look for Him
for whom their hearts yearn. And yet Jesus does not hide Himself away; no one need search
for Him in vain. "Behold," He says, "I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice,
and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me." Revelation
3:20. Jesus invites us to accept His presence; we are to open the door of the heart, and let Him
in. But He will not share a divided heart. If it be given to the service of mammon, if selfishness
and pride fill its chambers, there will be no room for the heavenly Guest; He will not take up
His abode with us until the soul-temple has been emptied and cleansed. Yet there is no need of
making a failure in the Christian life. Jesus is waiting to do a great work for us, and all heaven
is interested in our salvation. {OHC 55.4}