Match Up with a Mentor

Life does not come with a user’s manual. There are no

detailed instructions, no twenty-four-hour help desks,
and no blueprints to follow for becoming fi nancially
successful,
happily married, socially competent, or personally
content. Without clear direction in life, we can easily
become frustrated, lost, aimless, discouraged, or stuck
in a
rut, which in turn can be a source of regret. So how do
we
avoid this trap and the feelings of regret that come
with it
as we seek to achieve our goals?
Beyond relying on trial and error, risk taking, and raw
creativity to get ahead in life, a viable strategy that is
easy to
put into practice is to match up with a mentor—
someone
who is a trusted guide, advisor, and counselor.
Mentors
impart knowledge, help us develop our skills, and
teach
us how to avoid regrets in life. They shed light on the
big
picture of life and share stories of how they got to
where
they are. They help us network and open new doors.
They
share tricks of the trade and serve as sounding boards
when
we are stuck or confused. They provide coaching and
fresh
perspectives. Ultimately, mentors can accelerate our
learning
curve and reduce some of the ambiguity in life.
An amazing mentor in my life has been Ken Blanchard,
a renowned author and speaker whom I met early in
my career. In college I saw a video in which he talked
about the key principles from his book The One Minute
Manager, and as a result I was inspired to apply for an
internship position at his company while I was fi
nishing
school. At the age of twenty-one, I joined his fi rm as a
part-timer making about four dollars an hour. But what
I
learned from Ken was worth more than I could ever
put
a price tag on. He taught me to see the potential in
every
human being and to have a clear vision for the future.
He
taught me to focus on catching people doing things
right
as opposed to ambushing them when they did
something
wrong. He also taught me that I need to celebrate the
small
wins in life and that humility didn’t mean thinking less
of
myself, just thinking about myself less. In a nutshell,
he
taught me some of the secrets to living a life free of
regrets.
Ken once brought me into a company board meeting
as a learning opportunity and had me sit at the table
with
the executives. Instead of positioning me as a young
intern
who would simply be an observer, he welcomed me as
part
of the team for the day and encouraged me to actively
participate in the meeting. This helped build my confi -
dence and prompted the group members to treat me
as
one of their own, even though I was half their age and
new
to the corporate world. It also taught me that setting
the
right tone and making people feel respected—
regardless of
their job title or experience—goes a long way.
Matching
up with Ken as a mentor helped clarify the path I
wanted
to take as both a professional and a person in terms of
my
values and behaviors, and it allowed me to avoid the
regret
of taking a lifetime to fi gure that out.
So how do you match up with a mentor? Where do
you start? The process is actually quite simple and
straightforward:
identify people whom you think you can learn a
lot from and then solicit their interest in mentoring
you.
In other words, be assertive and ask them for what
you
want. The script goes something like this and takes
only a
few seconds to deliver: “Hi, Pat. I’m impressed with
what
you’ve done with your life/career and I think I could
learn
a lot from you. Would it be okay if I called or e-mailed
you from time to time to pick your brain and get some
ad -
vice?” What do you think the person is going to say,
“How
dare you insult me like that”? Highly unlikely! You can
bet
that most people will be fl attered by the request and
will
be more than willing to serve in some advisory
capacity—
you simply have to ask.
Take the initiative to match up with a mentor. Seek
out people who are willing to show you the ropes.
Observe
them in action and take note of how they operate.
Have
them share with you what they’ve learned from both
their
successes and their failures. Match up with a mentor
and
learn the secrets of life from someone who has already
been down that road.