Speak Your Mind

When my daughter, Jessica, entered kindergarten, we

found out the school had a “Books and Beyond”
program
where students received a special T-shirt and got to
shake hands with the principal at the end of the year if
they read a specified number of books. Since Jessica
was
a voracious reader, she was elated. Every night when
we’d
read books aloud before bedtime, she would ask,
“Daddy,
do you know what’s going to happen in June?” Without
waiting for an answer she’d exclaim, “Principal
Stevens is
going to shake my hand! He’s really going to shake my
hand, Daddy.” She’d repeat this last line several times
with
great enthusiasm. By March, Jessica had already
surpassed
the program goal and was eagerly awaiting the end-of-
year
award ceremony.
On the day of the big event, Jessica insisted on
wearing
her party dress and fanciest shoes. She was so
excited!
My wife and I went early with her to find a good seat in
the auditorium and had our cameras ready for the
longawaited
handshake. Soon the assistant principal got up on
stage and thanked all of the students for a job well
done.
Then she informed everyone that, unfortunately,
Principal
Stevens had a last-minute schedule conflict and that
she
would be shaking the award winners’ hands in his
place.
The room grew silent and my daughter started crying.
When her name was called, she wouldn’t even look up
as she walked over to the handshake line. It was a
major
letdown.
That night I couldn’t sleep. I knew how disappointed
my daughter was, and while experiencing a big
letdown
like this could perhaps be a teachable moment about
the
realities of life one day, right now my heart just hurt
for her.
More than anything, I felt that Principal Stevens
needed
to know how upset we were. But what good would that
do? What’s done was done. I also didn’t want to sound
like
a big complainer, especially since my daughter would
be
spending the rest of her elementary career at this
school. If
I made a big deal of this, I might regret it for a long
time.
But if I didn’t speak up, would I regret that even more?
The next day I went in to see Principal Stevens. He
was
in a meeting, but he stepped out for a moment to hear
my
concerns. After I told him the story, he looked shocked
—
it had never occurred to him that the handshake ritual
would take on such great importance in the eyes of
the
students. Without further deliberation, he excused
himself
from the meeting and motioned for me to follow him
as he headed for the lunchroom. When we got there
he
asked me to point out my daughter. “She’s the one
with
the big bow,” I said as I directed him across the room.
Principal Stevens made his way toward her through
the sea
of children who were now hanging all over him.
Upon reaching her seat, he got down on one knee
and said, “Hi, Jessica, I’m Principal Stevens. I
understand
you’ve read a lot of books this year.” My daughter
looked
up, astonished at how he knew this. “I’m sorry I
missed
the ceremony yesterday,” he continued, “but I want
you to
know that I’m very proud of you and I’d like to shake
your
hand.” With that, he gave her the biggest handshake
ever
and urged her to keep reading. To this day, I have
never
seen my daughter’s face beam like it did at that
particular
moment.
The experience with Principal Stevens reaffirmed for
me the importance of being assertive. If you don’t let
people
know what you’re thinking, don’t expect them to read
your mind. Share your concerns or apprehensions and
release yourself from the regret of letting negative
emotions
stew over time. Get your feelings off your chest and
you will feel more authentic and alive. Speak your
mind so
that others know where you stand.