Dedicatory

To all Panamanian women, Latin American and from the entire world. To all single ones
who look to get married and for those who are looking to improve their marriages.

Knowledge is power, especially when some suggestions that offer this book come from
millions of opinions given by interviewed spouses in how they want to be treated in both,
relationship and marriage.

Our intention is help and prevent mistakes that most women make without warning.
Therefore, as a consequence, this might lead to the verbal and physic violence.

I trust that this lovable masterpiece delivered to you, bring you those answers that you are
searching for to not only living a happy marriage, but also a happy life.
Gratitude

To all people, that in the last four years and a half, have been working in the reading and
transcription of this book, to Anabel Rios, Leidas Atencio, Paola Alemán, Valeria Rodríguez,
Angie Massiel, Araúz, Kendall Rovira, Gretell Rovira, Idania Arrocha, Sofia Peña and Elsy
Aguire for their positive support to conclude my desire project.

My special gratitude to Tony and Amanda Rankin, who offer their cabins accommodations
for writing part of this book.

I deeply thank to all those who believed in this future project, which its main objective is
helping couples to learn how to love each other and live again the happiness that was felt
when they got married at the beginning.
 Recognitions

To all people that believe in the vision of this book “love show me how love you, I can’t
divine your mind” (or what you think), especially to my husband Gregg for his love, support
and understanding during this five years of work. We are sure that the tools and “proven”
suggestions that here are express, the same that the description of personalities that allow us
know, “with who we are married”, most of twenty different topics that this book contains,
can be help to save millions of marriages of divorce, bringing a new “ love fire” in your
relation. These topics can be reducing misunderstandings between couple and emotional,
verbal and physic violence, at the moment exist great worried when attack the woman with
injure word, affect her identity like a person, and broken his valor sense and self-esteem. The
emotional violence affects to all women, (without matter social class). In Panama, it occupies
the first place.

Also I want to recognize Milt and Sharon Borgman for their support and belief of this love
work, to all Latin women and their marriage, and also to all single women, on manner that
they can know the men necessities, owners and all those that can or can’t do before married.

To my son Katrina Mitchel, for her support and wishes that this book offer hope to all women
that are struggle for her marriage.

This recognition goes also to Alfredo and Edilma Villarreal, for their piece of advice,
especially to Edilma and to Isaias Zapata, whose offer their time in grammatical assistance
and transcription.

Also, to Luzmila, her observations and assistance.

 Content

Foreword…...1

Author´s note…...3

why this images…11

objectives………16

Introduction…..25

Understanding temperament´s theory….34

Who really I am…37

Profiles and personalities…..43

Personal profile test ………65

Differnts personality’s summary…..77

Your love bench …...88

David and Christina´s adventure….126

Pray for your husband…..143

Conditional love…. 147

Inconditional love ….160

Understanding on men in your live ….168

Hite report…..174

“Things that you didn´t do” Poem...176

Edification´s origin…...177

Twelve men and woman emotional necessities….181

Men´s basic emotional necessities in marriage….182

The number on necessity of men….184

Emotional necessities of him…...193

Accepting your couple …...194

Do right now….203

Admire men…..204

Sixteen qualities for that mens like be admire…...208

Recreational company…...211

He need an attractive and beautiful wife…..214

Domestic support…..215
Men´s complaint…..220

Others husband´s complaint…..225

Comunication…...231

Be the husband´s best friend….249

Intimidate´s bow….251

Sexual adjustment…...257

Analize your hearth…..262

What the wife do……..263

Touch me (poem) …….268

Romantic ideas to go to your husband´s hearth…..269

Emotional necessities of womens…..293

¿Who are you…295

Womens personality’s profiles….299

Michelle´s poem…..300

Be all that God do in yo be unique and special…..303

Personality skipper in race´s wife …..309

Like lover…….310

Affection…..311

Comunication…..320

Family support…..324

Honesty….327

Question for you….332

Security…….333

Peace peacefulness…..339

Conclusion……..358

Dependence with God against codependence…...361

Love show me how love you…..363

Bibliography…….365
Foreword

Why we have most problems after honeymoon and why marriages fail?

*Money´s scarisity or oposing discussions about how to drive. Try not to show to your couple
how to administer his business, and try to have confident in what he or she will have
knowledge in.

Be able to bring suggestions, but not interfere. Lack in knowledge of “expectatives” of both
in marriages, before wedding and honeymoon.

* There is not clear agreement about paternal medding in the relationship of both (Except
that there is abuse)

* They really don´t know the personalities, strengths and weakness of both before they get
married.

* Didn´t know, talk before wedding, about emotional and physic “specifics” of both, that has
to be inside the wedding; althought some were treatments in engagement.

This information is very important, especially if the emotional needs were not met in
childhood and there was an abuse of any kind. They will discover like this, if there are
problems in marriage, and if they are still influenced by the difficulties experienced in
childhood.

Women who have been abused in their childhood, or have not recieved the affection they
should enjoy as girls, may by attracted by men who are not emotionally good for them.

* Do not fun alone, as before in court spip, without children or relatives around. To keep and
créate emotional intimacy and appointmentn alone. Every it´s very important.
The new wife recently married does not recognize the great importance and physic necessity
of her husband, to make love with him every night. After months or years married, the
frequency of relations decay, generally to three or four times by work, this cause most
problems in marriage, especially if she works outside home or if have children.
One of the most important reasons for that marriage fail is, that couple didn’t search God,
that is the really source of love, to cure emotional wounds of past or present, inside relation
and home with children.
The woman is “emocionally disconect” of her own emotionals and physics necesities.
1. For traditonal culture that show us, to please men, without thinking in our own necessity.
2. Before married, the women not always said the true of what she thinks about any situation,
for fear to lost her couple, because if he notices that she is disagree, it is possible that he
finishes with her and look for other couple. After be married is strange; be feel decieve.

This problem is more frecuent of what we can image.

When occur a situation or problem there is lost of communication, during engagement

woman do not really express much about her personality.

Is reserved or introvert in this aspect, but it´s not like that, so her complaint is: “he never talk
with me, but she neither does much during engagement.
 Love shows me how love you (I can´t guess your mind)

A personal note of Marla

My dear friend,

I wrote this book to give hope to a woman, in her pawning to achieve the marriage that always
she dream of (not matter the condition what it is actually found).

Proven suggestions that will find throught this book, they have saved thousands and
thousands of marriages with serious problems or, on point of divorce.

To clarify, this book is not in depth about domestic violence, but I will mention (in case
having problems in your married) for the purpose to not continue loving them mistakenly;
the same that stopping any attack in marital relationship. I want to touch the theme at the
beginning of the book as the figure of case which is very high not only in Panama but also in
Latin America and around the world.

This book will be illustrated with strong relation “what to do and what don’t” in your married.
It will help you to discover your unique personality, (identity) and your boyfriend´s or
husband´s strengths and weakness; the same that up your self esteem, if be fighting in this
part of your soul, emotionally. We include the results of a survey to most of thousand couples,
by Doctor Willard Harley, about the emotionals and physics necessities of both in marriage
and you be surprised of results.

I hope read this book like any other about increase of domestic violence, here in Panama and
in other countries. We need like women to know about “emotionals and physics necessities”
of our husbands in marriage, and how they want to be beloved; otherwise, we continue
commiting the same mistakes and reciving the same treatment.

The book show us the needs of men, wich it has been prove in others surveys, to countless
men in conferences, and by doctors and psycologist. Of course, also let´s share our necessities
in marriage, for them, also know how to love.

I mention again the topic of personalities because is fascinating. When I wrote about this
special section, It does not only up your self esteem and discover your personality, but to
help to know your natural talent.Talking with a lot of womans through the years, we notice
that they didn´t know qualities and aptitudes that posses, until was realized an enquiry that
was found in the section of women´s emotionals necessities and re waiting the oportunity to
be are developing. Our book will help you to discover what so especially we are like womans,
how can live authentic to be yourself, and to not feel intimidate for other personality that
maybe is stronger than yours.

One reason for most of women here in Panama is to fight against slow self-esteem
codepedence. This is the result of men´s culture “male chauvinist”, for mistreat and deceit.

These results surprise me because among I know, are found doctors, lawyers, university
professor, business womans and publics and privates institutions office workers.

In our investigations about why the womens fight so much against low self-esteem, I discover
that domestic violence in Panama is very high. Accordding to doctor Newton Osborne, due
to cultural tradition, the women professional position, or for fear, as are not express her
problem and are quite, specially if the husband is also an professional, doctor, politic, lawyer,
professor (teacher) or business men. This situation, not only affect professional’s womens
that live some type domestic violence , but akso they are afraid for constants threat of her
husbands or companions. I was interested for investigate and read newspapers, magazines,
also the supplement “ellas”; and the results was most serious of that I thought. I have more
of thirty five articles of la prensa, la critica and the magazine Ellas of the last five years with
references articles about the topic, and "For the most of the people, home is a place of refuge,
of love and security. It´s a place where you come to rest, where you go for getaway of the
pressures, threats, and dangers of daily life. But, the sad reality, is that for some families, the
home is a place where it is feel more violence that on the street; where the fear, hate, and the
horror are predominate. For this families, home is a battle field where there is the risk, until
violent death in any moment, even when there is not some provocation. The violence against
the woman is a global problem, since many of them are be consider like propietary, an object
that is acquired, instead of a partner with whom share with love and tenderness the triumphs
and setbacks of life. The violence against the woman can exist during the whole course of
her life. Sometimes begins since childhood, continue during adolescence, adult life, and it
remains with her until old age. It is very important warn that as for women are educated about
the options and norms of life that is possible for them to have, the incidence of domestic
violence decreases markedly. The domestic violence is the most common source of wounds
and diseases of women in Latin America and in United States of America. Up to a total of
four millions of women in United States, yearly they are victims of domestic violence by
husbands, former husbands, boyfriends, and lovers. Up to 10% of daughters in United States,
have been victims of violent aggressions in some occasions by her parents.

Approximately one million women come to emergency rooms annually in United States,
because of wounds that result directly of physic violence. One of five women that are
presented to these urgency room in Washington, D.C, come hit by their domestic partners.

The numbers are even greater in Latin America.

Some of you who are reading these statements, maybe you can think ¿ why should this
information appear in a marriage book?

Firstly, because the violence against women here in Panama, it has cost the lives of hundreds
of them, through the years. Then, to achieve drastic reduction in domestic violence in our
country and we hope that in other countries of Latin America; helping the women to know
the "emotionals and physics necessities" of man, preferably before marriage, or after
"honeymoon", if you have not met them before and how to sastify them.

I do not know about any man, who’s emotionals and physics necessities they have been know
and satisfied, who has verbally beaten or attacked his wife. We are not referring to sex, (even
though for the most of spouses, this is their number one need); but ¿ what are the others
emotionals and physics necessities oh him? When their necessities are abundant, will have
peace in his home and with his wife. No man or woman married only for quarrel for the rest
of their lives. I hope to publish the book in a short time;
"Love_ teach me how love you", (Only for men), to be fair and to give to you, dear woman,
a hope. In it, we will share the results of the survey that we mentioned before and what
thousand wives have expressed, about their emotionals and physics necesities in the
marriage. I am sure that by including some themes from the women book in their book, for
example, the personalities, that allow us to discover who we are married with and some other
specific topic for men, we will achieve that they can learn how to love us, and no continue
making the same mistakes, wich involuntarily commit the present, most of all lack of
knowledge of the " expectations and emotional and physical needs of your spouse, wich
never spoke oridentified before getting married, and they expect the other to fill them "
after" honeymoon.
Accordding to my own surveys in Chiriqui province, and in Pnama city, NO woman or man
has asked her partner about the needs of the other, with whom will spend the rest of your life.
¿ Have you done it with your partner? On one ocassion, I asked a man and he said no. So I
express to him, if I dictated a conference for men ¿ would you like to attend? And this was
his answer _ “You as an American, must learn that Panamanian men are “Male Chauvinist."
I replied, " oh yes, are you Male Chauvinist?" and then I asked ¿ How many years have you
been married? He answered me, fifteen. I told him, then ¿Would you like to know how to
attrack your wife (that I was a professional), “sexually" as when you were married? It is
unfortunate that I could not take a picture of his expression.
It was indescriptible, I didn´t know what to say. After a long silence, he finally expressed
"yes", I would attend his conference. ¿how could we meet the needs of your partner, if we do
know what they are? There will always be avoid in an area of your life, as in yours, when
your emotional and physical needs are not met. We are women without weapons, for lack of
knowledge as to what a man from his wife after the wedding. This book will give you
weapons. Now , after all the above, maybe some of you will wonder ¿ Why as an American
taken five years writing a book in Spanish for Latin woman? I will tell you, first, beacuse I
have lived almost twenty years in Latin American countries, and some of my best friend are
Latins. Then, because I had Latin boyfriends, I know what it is like to be " cheated”, and
because, (one of the most important), is that I know what is to be sexually abused for seven
years in my childhood, (3 to 10 years); growing up in a home where domestic violence
prevailed, and as a child, I only felt terror, I did not know the meaning of " self- esteem",
because I had been denied. You can image what is to grow without love, without a touch of
love from my father or mother. I was hungry for love, prey to shyness, and almost did not
talk to anyone. I met my first husband at seventeen yeras old, he was twenty - four and in this
book, I describe my story and nightmare about the domestic emotional and physic violence
that I suffered, only six weeks after the wedding. Yes, (six weeks). All that love that finally
hope to have, after such a sad childhood, was the most that my soul could endure.
My life became tears and depression, which almost took over my life, and then discover that
my husband planned to kill me. I did not do anything about some men who kept anger and
desires for revenge, as a result of other loves where they were rejected and had emotional
problems, as was the case with my husband.
At that time were not books like this or magazines that illustrated us about domestic violence,
codependence, or how to have a happy marriage.
We did not have classes or conferences to guide us and prepare us to be a true wife; or about
what the spouses expected, (their expectations) after “honeymoon".
Why have I shared with my readers, something so personal in my life? Because I want to be
more open in what has happened in my life, to be able to encourage and help women with
similar problems to those expressed; guide them to get rid of and be healed of their"damage
emotions” and their pasts, so that they can experience " peace within” and a happy
relationship with their husband and marriage in the present. The woman does not talk about
this kind of thing because she thinks that "only she was abused” and feels shame and
insecurity of herself. These emotions are very strong and that is the reason why I am adding
an extensive foundation to introduce the topics in the book. Statically, I know, that in United
States one out of four girls is sexually abused before eleven years old, as well as one out of
every six years. Then, we are imprisioned in our minds and souls, of our pasts, carrying that
shame (bitterness and repressed anger) to our marriages, without knowing it, until someone
like me decides to break the silence, to tell them that they are not alone in their struggle to
obtain their self- esteem and sense of worth. In spite of not being religious, when I wanted
to take my life, for all the emotional abuse and pain of my childhood and the domestic
violence suffered with my ex husband , I cried out to God for his help because I was so
depressed , he listened to me. That is how I began “The healing of my emotions” in my soul,
then, I decide, when I felt emotionally healthy enough, to help other women to discover,
that there is healing, rennovation and hope for a new tomorrow. Have these experiences
lasted for thrity -five years, wich have allowed me to help thousands of women in my
conferences and television interviews. I have also the opportunity to teach thousands of
women how to have a happy life and sucessfull marriage; and for single women, you can be
happy without depending on a man for it, despite your past, or present, as you can appreciate
it through reading of this book.
For women who have not been abused in any way, sexually, verbally, or physically; rejected,
or leave by her parents (or father) ; the suggestions and information about the personalities,
emotional necessities, why marriages fail and how toi prevent that, it has the same that many
others important topics, that this book has.
My wish is that your marriage relationship flourish again, adding the "spark" again (if there
are problems), where both bring the best goodwill and hope so that marriage can be all that
both of them long for. This book describe many topics and romantic ideas that we are sure
that they will be useful to you.

With love,

Marla McIver
 Why this pictures

I know that you see others pictures in newspapers, but I was taken this pictures of a woman
and their cuts, four miles of where I life. We present this pictures before topics development,
with the purpose to llustrate and to rise awareness about the seriousness of the problem of
domestic violence in this country, according to express in the book. We wait that the same
can to help of guide to know how to treat and answer to your husbands (any man), also to
avoid the anger and verbal ofense that are occur in a lot of homes. The seriousness of the
problem of domestic violence in Panama and others Latins countries, to be demostrate with
the stadistics.
For bring to you "hope" stopping the domestic violence, the doctors like the doctor Mimi
Guarneri, M.D.,FACC, author of el corazon habla, the doctor Charles Whitfield M.D., author
of Sanando el niño adentro, the doctor Don Colbert M.D., author of emociones mortales and
the phsycologist doctor David Hawkins author of el niño en cada uno de nosotros, to mention
some of books that I have in my library, already can be to proven in almost all marital cases,
that are have serious problems or domestic violence in one form, when the "emotional
necessities" are substitude them to be cure of pain of the not substitude necessities in
childhood , youth and other relations. Since our childhood, emotional wounds are
"accumulate" through the years. If this damage emotions are not cure now when adults, this
“emotionals wound" are the cause of "feelings" like bitterness, resentment, anger or
insecurity inside of us for the different people in our lives that have hurt, since our childhood
. If they are not cure before we are married and others relations without knowing. I talk deeper
about this topic in the book. The point of the doctors are, when the husband "feel" the really
love of his wife where showing and fulling the emotionals and physics necessities, now he
didn´t feel the samme motivation to explore or defend his child or young of inside, of most
wounds, like he felt in his childhood He didn´t know his child of his childhood exist ( like
millions of us), that be "child" to be tell like adult or not will have millions of alcoholics,
drug addicts, violence in the streets , or domestic violence, codependence and millions of
divorces each year around the world ¿The damage emotions of our pass (where are ) if not
cure?
Repressing, still live in our subconscious (in our husbands) and we are waiting to be cure.
The necessities of your husband, and yours are most important and in the book I will show
you how you can be also full, to stopping the major domestic violence.

I take this pictures three weeks after the attack

She told me “She never thought that he was capable to do this".

¿what are your children listening in your house?

When you put in practice the suggestions of this book, you can have a happy life and live in
peace, without domestic violence.

Objectives of this book

The main objective of this material, is to achieve that exist more understanding between the
couple and their relationship. When really understanding the differences between the
emotionals necessities of the woman and the man, inside of marriage and how to sastify, this
will bring you hopes to fight for a sucess relation, with your husband and in your marriage.
If exist problems in your relationship, it will rennovate your wish of fall in love again, putting
in practice the tools and sugerences "check" that be explained in this book. One of the reasons
for the marriages fail, is because the more women and men that accept this obligation have
so high expectatives, that are not look most over of romance and the priviledge of sleep
together "each night" with or without the bless of God and the church. They are married (or
like most woman told me) “life together", but they are never interested to take speeches or
reed materials that are show to identify the six "emotionals and physics" necessities of each
one. According to million couples that we mention before and that are realized the enquiry´s
psycologist doctor Willard Harby, known this aspect, can be help the couple to feel love for
all lives, to against of unexpected problems that can affect the relationship.
Other objective of this book is to help to discover, ¿What does really propose happiness to
your couple, pass the honeymoon, then in first months, after years of marriages and finally,
“for live"? ¿ Wich of you are asked to your husbands, ¡love! ¿what are your emotions and
physics necessities; how can I sastify? And I refer not only in sex, like it is said before. ¿How
are these others five emotions and physics necessities, that when are colmade, will permitt to
have to your couple fall in love permanently? In my experience, consulting to most of seventy
five women and twenty five men in the past year nobody of two does this question to your
couple. Is interesting look that, an educator like an engineer need five years of study in the
university, before of that can be exert their profession. Any work requires training for some
weeks, but none of the most important decisions of our lives, have a school that teach and
bring the basic tools for the marriage sucess. I want change this. The surveys, neither was
known the emotions and physics necessities of your couple; aspect that in my opinion, base
on my studies, is one of most important keys, to discover how to feel in love. The major of
couples in the world, are only worried to make the blood test, obtain the liscence and after,
married. This book provides to you the tools that you need, to achieve an extraordinary
relatioship with your love in your marriage, and principally it helps you to cure the emotionals
injuries accumulated trough the years. If you are married since some years, put in practice
the suggestions it will achieve this feeling of love that maybe affect the feelings of both, to
benefit your relationship.
Although this book was written to help an "exceptional" relationship with your couple, also
to have like purpose , the opportunity to discover "who are you",not only in your personality,
but in the emotionals and physics necessities of your marital live and learn to express without
fear. If you are single, you can know yourself and know what have to do and not have to do
during the engagement and after, in the marriage.

This material was written principally for the marriages, or (future girlfriends) although any
woman can be benefit with the information, on discover their necessities and how to relate
with the oposing sex. This suggerences prove by the psycologist doctor Willard Harley that
they have a sucess of 75 to 80 % saving marriages to meeting divorce. When starting to full
the necessities of your couple again, the "feels" of love that he has to you at the beginning,
are realive. According to doctor Harley, the therm is call "association erudite".
Others objectives:

1. knowing better "yourself”, will avhieve encourage for your authentic personality to
emerge, which is essential for a good relation with your husband. A lot of women, on the win
over their blue prince, are not expressing their really feelings and thoughts for fear to lose
him. Externalizes, why are the most important things for your husband and the most
interesting for him, to have with a woman that is not always according with all that he said.

2. Offer the opportunities to achieve new hopes and ideas like a relationship could have in a
long with your husband.

3. Change you image, in case of fighting against your low self- esteem or depression.

4. Adopt good thoughts and make decisions that can change your circumstances of manner
that can bring your husband back to emotionally feel attrack tou you, if exist distance. I
practiced "daily" the suggerences captured in this book, especially those that can start to
attract his attention.

5. In this book we show you how to achieve be loved, the meaning of really love and what is
marriage.

6. Alike help you to elevate your " emotional inteligence" to not react with anger, to think
before talk, or what is better, to save silence, until knowing what is or wich is the best form
of answer to a situation.

7. To carry out correct aptitudes, because with it can do what your live is better.

8 This will show you to be happier, to enjoy healthier, be more prosperous, feel more sure,
have more friends and improve the relationship with your family.
9. To understand the importance of your love bench and how the diversity of your depositis
light a new live, romance and passion between millions of couples with mental problems.

10. Your daily reading will offer the steps to have "sucess" with your husband and your
personal life, given not only hope, but inspiration, motivation, conviction and the tools to
have a complete marriage of romance and passion like at the beginning. It will bring you also,
fun, especially when you see to your husband the thought that you want that he experiments.
Most of men didn´t know how to love a woman (wife). We think of other manner about them,
due to the hormonals differences and why our brains are aligned of different manner (like
each describes most foreward)

11. The word passion in the dictionary meaning “strenght emotion, burning love, fervour,
enthusiastic wish, hope and pleasure". My "passion" is that you and your husband are happy
like when you meet so you can experiment all those feellings during your marital life. That
put in practice this "check" suggerences that are not taken so seriously then live, trying that
all is perfect and can be learned to smile together.

12. The women was taught to "sastitify" the necessities, but this book will show you how
attain you physics and emotionals necessities are sastified, of way that you do not not feel
use and empty in your relationship with your husband.

13. You will understand your "value" like woman, living your life since the most high of
potencial of truth. ¿Is ityour life like you dream of? ¿Are you listening with an intention?
¿Are you listening what your hearth is saying? ¿Are you "disconnected of your really inside?
¿Do you alwayslive to expenses piece of advise of others to win the acceptance and approval
of them? You will learn to leave your fears maybe a rejection of jokes or criticism, when
discover that you are spiritual that didn´ t need of some persons, praises, or authorization, for
beinf who you are. Nobody can deny him your courage and intention like a person. Iwas in
five meetings with the death one of them, my struggle against cancer for learn this.
With my personal experience advising to hundreds of womens with marital problems in their
lives, and I can through this book bring hope to millions of your. Their lives are influenced
with others people. Anybody is exactly like you, with your talents and experiences for attain
this objectives. I was discovered through a so sad life in my childhood and youth, that God
createus with a "purpose"with properly personality natural, esquires and habilities, for having
" imagination", and do not let "only" be influenced for manners or traditions that are locate
to woman in the "role" to be according with the mens in all. If a housewife, mother, educator,
doctor, nurse, secretary or the mister´s wife (add the name of yor husband here), the most
important is that understand that your live value, and is most valuable like of your husband.
With the examples mentioned, in those professions that some of you have played, your
habilities can be emerge. Are exist most womens that like me in my youth, didn´t know that
God have a special purpose in your lives because are singles youth; or maybe married
professionals, with all that obligations like mothers. Have others women not planned to be
divorce, leave or widow. My point is, not matter your circumstances, have esquires, talents
and habilities inside of each one of yours that are need knowledge for know have an purpose
in case not are knowledge.

14. Now, for the people that are not religious, I want to say to you that me neither; I am
spiritual, have a great difference; only I can narrate " my story" that before to search help of
God and bring an special place in my live, my live was an hell. I was mention in case that has
some has some womens like me that be frustrated for their circumstances and didn´t know
what do. God have some special and beautiful for each one of you, and all have its place and
time. You will know when is the correct time to go and find it. I learned tha God change bad
circumstances for the best, when ask for his help.
Today the womens life an "long live" for the advance of medicine and have books about how
live most healthy, with less stress. You can be chosen and decide what life your want to live.
To have with God for things that wish, and not to be left like a victim of circumstances, like
me before, without hope to have an best live.
 For Help to Reflect

You to know who is specially if you feel overload and didn´t have time for yourself in to
reflect. ¿To be use your special talents and habilities to attain the sucess in what you wish,
feel satified, and living in peace? If you feel emotionally disconnected of yourself for some
works, responsability, be wife and mother, I want to help you to take time for you, for learning
to renew, dis- stress, and think in your dreams, no only in realize the of your husband. If you
are single (not matter age) do the same questions describe before. Write the answers of exam
in the book, that to help to know the "purpose of your life" (If you are not even discover) and
this be proportioned an guide of how fulfil your dreams ; maybe putting to your side those
thinks that never be realize, due to problems fails or sadness of the life. I was learn that God
is who be put the wishes in our hearths although sometimes we need struggle to realize;
waiting years for see compliment.

This book have the intention of bring to womens like you, "hope" , not only for that your
marriage be conserve like at the beginning but for wake your imagination again, about your
dreams, discover the beautiful woman that is you, and the importance of your properly life,
aside of your husband and children, if you have.
! Not leave your dreams¡ ask for to God for guide for achieve and he will grant.
! Then relax and trust¡
For these other women that are read this observations and that now are have their adolescent
or married children, not matter their age, always can be use your imagination and create
destine. I understand that your life can be different, but also is possible to help to other person.

There have most womens and families in need to whose to please that someone like you are
bring hope and love in their lives. If you didn´t know how try this help personally, can be
do, sending a note or card to some person that you meeting in this conditions, expressing that
be thinking in her or him, offer your friendship and regard. Other way of project our affect,
to be prepare an cake or food to an old, that need company . If you are hand´- made and God
bring talents can be do and gift beautiful dolls; each person have this talents; I don´t have any
artistic talent, but I admire to who have, like my son Katrina. We know of a woman that
dedicate great part of her free time for visit to the olds, to who anybody want visit and she
was allow that speak about their lives, style the hair,read them biblical passages, for console
them andlet them know how much God love them.
Other friend want to be nurse. When her child are grow, was get into the university; after four
years was graduate like nurse at the fourty six years old. Decide enjoy your live, beginning
with your marriage and then taking hope and enjoyment to the life of others. If you reader,
friend, is happening for difficult moments and think that "need of someone that bring to you
hope because you are depress" is other reason for that I wrote this book. I invited you to read,
complete, with the security of that after that do, will feel the wish of realize all that not do in
the past.
¡ not complain of things that werw allowed! If you feel that your live is unbearable, ask for
God wisdom for change. After planned very well and take the decision of free to your self.
If you practice the recommendations that this book bring to you, you will can change the
course of your life. Maybe most of you won´t attain soon ; but others yes.
Each woman have differents circumstances, for this reason, we include different topics, with
finally of involve in the possible, the major of situations that confront a marriage or a relation.
My wish is, that each woman that read this book , can be attain their dreams, find the peace
and happiness; that be capable of take control of your live and do all that to provide
harmony and peacefulness, not only in your marriage, but also in your personal life.
 Introduction

I was meeting to my husband Gregg speaking in a conference for singles and divorced with
the doctor Frank Freed, a grateful psychologist of Orange County in California. The night
before of the conference, Margie (Who invited me for speaking) and I, were speaking about
the " type of men" for our interest, Then that Margie describe the type of men that she waits
meeting, I will start to describe mine. My blue prince is high, with beard, someone that is
sensitive, and affectionate.
Both, Margie and I have passed for sentimental sufferings in our first marriage. We know so
much about the differences of personalities in a couple and how can be oposing complete;
any way also of the emotional marital necessities between a men and a woman, for the time
that are divorce.
Certainly my blue prince was there, five high feets, even with beard and I was talking with
him; was sentimental and affectionate. My point is that both, many women like the man, we
have a tendence to see the extern "package", instead of internal.
Most of us date with someone and get married without being aware that wich is really our
personality or those with who are married or knowing with.
Months or some years after married, most women are said that can feel that theirs couples are
emotionally reject, without understanding subconsciously that love is together with thier
properly emotional necessities. If my emotionals marital necessities are not sastified, I can
be said to my husband, in way that he can love me and full this necessities that I have. He
didn´tt read my thoughts, if I can´t express my necessities smoothly and affectionate.
Also you will discover that this book describe four differents personalities, with the purpose
to help to identify the most to adapt you, all that describe how really you feel inside, or your
identity or personality, and the person who is married. If you have children, will know the
differents aspects of your personalities that will help in the upbriging and best way of
educated, without try to change.
Now, ask yourself this questions to evaluate the relation with your couple:
1. ¿Do I know the personality, strenghts and debilities of my husband / boyfriend, or mines?
2. ¿What are the twelves most important emotionals marital necessites and the ifferences
between the men and the women in priority order?
3. Ever you ask - ¿What are the emotionals maritals necessities of him? ¿You know what is
yours?
4. ¿How you love? ¿ Conditional or Inconditionally? ¿What did your couple say?
5. ¿ Do you know that “subconsciously "in each one of us in a love bench? ¿ When was the
last time that was deposit (If you are married or keep a relation)?
6. ¿ Do you know the most common complaints that men have of women and wives?
7. ¿ do you know what are the differences and how men and womens are handle the stress?
or, ¿ How to help your couple to relax?
8. ¿Do you know the physics and psycholics differences between men and women?
¿why can´t they "think" like us? They say: Well, you can know what I am thinking or feeling.
They can not do that. They do not have the hormones or the cerebral structure for this.
Most other topics in this book will help you to avoid to make the same mistakes that maybe
can be away from your blue prince.
If you didnt answer positively at least three of the questions now painted, are you in serious
problems in the way like are you relating with your man. My goal is to offer the tools that
can help women to not go a blind relationship, ingenuous or codependents. Of course, most
of you are married or have a relationship and if the same are made disspassionately, or if be
to derive and exist resentment and feel pain, you can change the course of your relationship
now.
Like I express before, this book content information about that wives and girlfriends
specially for those who are married for a time, and due to stress, the diary worries, the
financial insecurities, the meaning events of the world and the wars that are latents in your
live, is difficult to keep the romance alive. Most couples are living so worry and tired with
their respective works, the children, the list of " never ending" of what to do (specially for
wifes) , that for their is so difficult keep the passion alive in their marriages. I believe that
this can change and it brings return" the romance. I am not only talking about sex, but of
affection and affect that can be demonstrated daily.
We have meaning adding romantic ideas back to turn on and keep the passion of your couple;
of way that he fall in love of you again. He didnt leave of thinking in you during the day and
you will back add fun and hapiness to the relationship.
Maybe he will be surprised of your attitude, even, if there is not intimacies between you for
long time. To think: ¿ Why are not writing something to our favor? I exoress: that in the book
that we are writing for "they", also bring them an guide about what an man must and must
not do in a relationship with their wives, with the hope of that to get meeting, are most easy
sastified the emotionals and physic necessities of her. If we like wives thinks that exist a
perfect "blue prince", forget it, it does not.
However, we can “get closer" to him, specially when we know the specifics emotionals
necessities of him and when we can understand the personality of our couple overthowing
any wall or obstacle like consequence of caricity of knowledge in how related.
All to have with our strenghts and debilities. Debilities is other person for "irritant habits".
Accept it, nobody, not even us are perfect, and this differences can motivate or weak the
relationship.
If you putt in practice, some of this suggestions immediately, it can be alikely attain
afavourable change of this marriage or relationship that is not working in a happy and
romantic relationship again.
I try to do this book very practical, but at the both "funny" and informative. Any man will
love his woman (wife) when she starts to full “their maritals and emotionals necessities".
When you start to allow your husband to be relax at the moment to arrive at home, then you
see the results and benefits in short time. Tell to him that you didn´t comprehend the
importance that is for him the need to rest when arriving home, until I attend to aconference
or read this book. Although he maybe believe what he listens, tell that you are learning what
emotionals and physics necessities of a man means. In short time and for curiosity, he will
want to know more about this book or conferences for men.
He want to sastify your emotionals and physics necessities, such as I mention before. In the
case that this are be different to express, then tell yours. The necessities that we are writing
are product of surveys realize to millions of women, by doctor
Willard Harley, PH.D.
Be constant in the new form that is accomplished in this process with your husband,
Especially if you have communication problems in your marriage.I want to grateful to doctor
Willard Harley (A university partner from my husband, Gregg), whose quote in different
sections of this book, for authorize me to use the concept of the differences in the emotional
necessities and the bench of love. If in any moment we need that our homes are “refuge" for
our Husbands to rest, children and even for us, this is the moment. Like this we can make our
properly self-esteem and belief in each one, attain the hapiness; showing love and respect for
each family member and making a value sense.
Our husbands need us like us need them, although some are professionals. Never allow that
the pride are move away of the relationship that both wish. I know for experience how anger
words can destroy and hurt relationship, such like: “Could you please forgive me for that I
said, that stablishes an obstacle between both. I didn´t want my life this way. Love, “Show
me how love you".
If you didn´tt tell him this words for the emotionals wounds accumulates for months or years,
then write and place a note where you are sure that he will find it. Not be surprised if he didn´t
know what to do, because, this means that he will open his heart to you again. Be prepare and
wait for him if he didn´t answer immediately and practice the described suggestions, which
will work and bring life to the relationship. The principal point is that, not to be focused on
the sufferings or the bad of how he was. ! Forgive him and start again¡ I didn´t say that you
stay with a man that physic and emotionally abuse of you, or attack your self- esteem and
value sense continue. God did not create you with this purpose. I am speaking of a man that
understand that in the marriage there will be differences of opinions at the moment to handle
the life´s situations, because not only we have tye differences, but the form how we were
created. Moreover we can understand that when we know or not full the emotionals
necessities of our couples, the dissapoint can be enter in the relationship and the fights occur
ocassionally. The cries or the silence won´t solve the marital difficulties. Shared the feelings
of each one and ask for excuse, it fixes more relationships and open the door to an adventure.
I want to bring “A new hope". That your blue prince is fall in love of you for a really reason,
that you are given, for that, He again returned to home (Or that at least find in the door) when
he returned of work.
In this book also I included the “seventeen qualities for that wich the man has to be admire",
start to tell the reasons for wich you fall in love with him. We never tired of that, our husband
said us that they love us, they neither are awkward to listen because we admire and love; in
this way it will open the door of communication, and it will create a new and wonderful
emotional privacy.
Remember, any woman can´t change a manso try not to do so. He feels emotionally attract
to you because you accept him like he is. Loving in inconditional form, this is what do change
a man (or a woman) and be feel that is wonderful; please, do not criticize. I want to leave in
this book some results of applied studies, in case of that believe that " be married with the
wrong man (or if is a man that read - a wrong woman). The author Stephen Arterburn says in
his book “the secrets that men save".said: "Exist an amount of evidences that can help to any
person to contemplate the possibility of divorce, in way that reconsiderate this decision".
Have a report of 2002 by the para valores Estadounidenses institute:

* In average, the adults who are divorced caused of unhapiness, are not happy five years after
the divorce, that equally in unhappy adults stay married.

* Two third parts of the unhappy married people that stay in this civil state are reported that
their marriages were most happy after five years.

* Even between the couples that their marriages were so happy, the 80% continue happy
married after five years.

* The information suggests if a couple is not happy, they hve a possibility of 64% that after
five years of married, but one possibility of 19% , is for the divorce and because they are
married again.

* The study discovers three manners for that unhappy couples to be happy while staying
married.
1. The resisitance to stand during the difficults moments with the expectative that the best
moments will come, and at long occur.
2. Search help instead of be desinteresed . Most of spouses are searching help of others with
sucess.
3. In the diversification is found, that the couple that search happiness in oher way while are
continuing waiting for happiness in their marriage, instead of divorce.
Other discovery is demostrated that the divorce does not reduce the depression neither
increase the self - esteem, compared with the unhappy couples that stay married.
Behold here most reasons why the divorce is not a remedy for that unhappy marriage:
* An married man of fourty eight years old, have a 80% of possibility to live until the
seventeen five years, but a divorce man only have the possibility of 65%.That is because
marriage men settle down and do not participate in some many activities of mortal danger.
When men lost their wives caused for the divorce or death, they restart their singles habits
and they are fourth times more vulnerable to have a car accident or commit suicides.
*The married people are two most probably to say we are "very happy" those are singles for
any reason.

* A 40% married couples tend to show that are so happy, unlike of the 15% of those are
divorced and the 18% of divorce couples. The married men are living ten years most that the
divorce men. The divorce women are living also most short lives. To be honest, the major of
marriages people during their married are thinking ¿was I married with the incorrect man or
woman?
The men, specially one thousand six hundred surveys, think that are married with theincorrect
woman and can be most happy with other woman, but the stadistics that we describe, have
most divorces in the second married that in the first. Men didn´t know how will love a woman
and the woman a man to be just, but this book will bring to you the tools to do so. The
"verified" suggestions that save millions of marriages, are also realive and "ignite" the love
and the passion again when you think that I wasn´t possible.

This is exciting for me to think that in short weeks or months the marriage that you always
wish can be a reality.
 Understanding The Temperament Theory

(Discover your unique identity)

We are special. Each one of you have quality, talents, habilities, passion and charms. With
an inherent personality and knowing us we can wake our value sense. My husband is a blend
of Perfectionist / Talented and Diplomatic/ Conciliatory, who has doubts about his
properly identity. Through to a temperament evaluation, was checked that not be like others
that have a powerful personality and most extrovert.
He can be relax and feel good as is. Not was unnatural or different, because was introvert,
and not like the last case of his sister that is extrovert. This difference is that do to his unique,
like each one of you, like to my husband and me, the weaking our self- esteem, we understand
that each one is special. Know the different personalities will be extremely interesting, at the
same time that funny and will can be understand why your couple appear in this way. Also
will comprehend why your children, your chief, your friends or your mother in law appears
some how. With this new knowledge will start to see the others in a new measurement and at
the same time, will be aware of your strenghts and debilities.
If you have your own company and have a position of high authority, this help to you to know
and locate to your workers in most appropiate positions, according to theirs personalities.
Also, will know how answer to people instead of reacting inappropiately.
Each personality have their owner strenghts and debilities; none is lower to other. Your
husband can be different, but this not meaning that him be lower to you. We need accept the
differences of ours heredity and family record, thar are those that attract our couples in first
place. My husband and I have most things in common, but he sense somes, of different way
only for be a man and rely on a different personality.
As it is important the knowledge of the personalities to try to understand with who be married
or who we are with, also it is neccesary to keep in mind, that it also has an blend of this four
temperaments. Usally one person has a blend of two temperaments, so a Simpatic Obtimist
and a Dinamic leader is a `perfect mix like are the Talent Perfectionist and the Moderator
Diplomatic, or quiet. Yes, after to study the personalities, your couple didn, t know " Who
are you" or are direct contradictory of the natural mix, can be occured that subconsciusly are
hidden features of our personality, for an some traumatic type or abuse in the childhood.
When a son not was accept and love, he will try to be like the mother or the father want to
be. Or, maybe like his sister, to be accept and love like her, so that cannot develop his owner
personality because he is tryinig to imitate, and growing with a low self- esteem and complexs
that we are prevent to knowing. As much in this book, like my other book “The renovation
of women´s soul”, are mention in this topics and will help you to cure your emotions, and to
discover your authentic personality.
The same, has some surveys, verifies suggestions and steps to get the emotional and spiritual
cure. Take like example, to a Simpatic Optimist, that is very extroverted, festive, to who
would like to stay with the people, before the Talented Perfectionist, who clearly is opposed;
the subconscious attitude of the Simpatic Optimist is to put a mask to be accepted, in way
that will try to change his authentic personallity and be introvert. We put the mask, without
warn, since the childhood or youth, but there is a child inside us that want to leave to play,
according to the study of the psychologists and the doctor Charles L. Whitfield M.D, who
wrote, Sanando el niño adentro. He only wants be love and accept, like his brother or sister.
The Talented Perfectionist love the peacefulness and tend to be depressed and melancholic;
the opposed of the Optimist.
The purpose of sharing the personalities is to help discover and understand who we are and
who are our couples, like this get a sastify cohabitation , and try not to change both; focusing
in the strenghts and not in the debilities and in how can be accept and love. In this way, we
get also, supplied the emotionals necessities of each personality in the family.
Fot that are not be married, understand the personalities, strenghts and debilities will help
you to choose correctly you couple.
You will know in half pass to whose are be treating and if is advisable continue with this
relationship, because if the personality of your couple is not compatible con your, you will
save much time and suffering. Know the personalities will help you to choose most carefully
and the person will not hurt you, because he didnt know about your secret arm. This
information help to you with any friendship not only to search the love.
Understand the differents personalities, is not to classify to a person, but help us to interrelate
with them. Also we get know the emotionals necessities of each temperament, which will
lead to this person emotionally to you, because all want be accept and love.
This technique is the arm that bring us the wisdom and cleverness to know how we were lead
emotionally to this person in first place. When someone leave to try to change to be love, but
love him and accept like is, discover the emotionals necessities of the other, the divorce will
never pass in the mind of both, if they will be married. It´s important to understand that when
we refer to "emotionals" necessities of the men and women, that are need supplied in the
marriage to create emotional intimidate and sexually.
Trought the read of this material, will warn in short time, the "easy” that is know the
personalities, because only are four basics; the Optimist, the Leader, the Perfectionist and the
Conciliator. After the topic, ¿
Who really am I? We are doing an increase description and reason of the personalities, as
also the strenghts and debilities of each one.

¿Who really am I?

All that God created was good, in the way that there was not mistake to give live. Nether less,
we can feel a misunderstanding as regards to our identity. One of the purpose of this book is
help you to recognize your virtues and imperfections; to understand "Why" we act and answer
of the same way that we do, be this the form in that we can start to understand to "Us",
improve our personalities and related sastify with others. You can be recognize the
emotionals necessities of others persons and their personalities ( that maybe are opposite to
yours) , like of your boyfriend, husband, son and friends. To comprehend better to yourself
and to the others, will recover your effective relationship because can discover the necessities
of each personalities and your descent.
Many times we do not understand certainly behaviors of the people we love the most, we
think that their only purpose is hurt us, but is not true. For this reason is important to
understand the emotionals necessities of each personality. ¿What is happening when this
necessities are not substitude in correct way? The boy that was not accepted in his childhood,
or was abused of one and other way (specially in the sexual aspect), will grow without
knowing his identity, without knowing who he is, and he will be insecure, with low self -
esteem and others complex.
If a child grew in a disfunctional home where it has alcoholism, violence or quarrels and
bitterness, to generally protect to the mother and to others family members, can, t develop his
personality, can be the beginning to get his "emotional healthy", properly trust, and value
sense. Like this we can distinguish why depression exists in others persons and maybe in our
self and how to deal, if struggling in this area of our lives; only like this you can understand
that God create you "special", with an unique personality and that has a value in others
persons, not matter your past or actually conditions. Generally, accordding to the
psychologists, our identity, value sense and self-esteem are knowledge in the childhood. The
girl or boy up bringing in a disfunctional home where the verbals fights are plenty, and the
alcoholism ( like I was bolder ), be growing with "emotionals injures" (repressed) for the
rejection, verbal abuse or physic, situation that will affect his security sense, own trust, value
and self-esteem. Of course that throught the years, accumulate the emotional injures that are
to come of different situations and realtions; for example, of partners, brothers, others in the
family, friends, and teachers, of wounded words, or of the comparisions with other brothers,
"¿ Why are you not like your sister? If we have other boyfriends or we were married before,
(like me), or emtionals injuries before our marriage, we take this injuries to the relationship
or marriage, without knowing, but the husbands also take "all his past" and emotionals
injuries. I ask to you: ¿ When are all emotional injuries since your childhood and youth until
this moment? Still are inside of you until can be get the " emotional healthy" in the most
deep of yourself. Now can understand "why" there are some difficulties "after honeymoon."
The problem is when we are married, never think that our last injuries can be influenced in
the relationship with our husband today.
We “FALL IN LOVE”. This is the reason for the existence of most emotional and physic
violence in most marriages some weeks, months, or years after marriage; because it was never
"emotionally cured" before that married. Is God who can free of this injuries until today?
Only you need to go to to him to cure your soul (heart) and ask for that cure your interior girl,
although this is a process that depending of the depht of the emotionals injuries, sometimes,
it can take time to result. "My life" is a testimony. If God cure to me of most years of sexual
abuse, (three to ten years), of the reject of my partners, and others emotionals trauma that I
suffer, He can cureto any woman (person) that need inner health of your emotionals injuries
of childhood, the youth, live in general, or in your relationships with your husband and other
persons in your live. This needs to happen allowing that come to your heath to get the healthy
of your soul and all your past and present.
Now you will understand the "importance" of the personalities, why this is "the base" to start
to understand why we have "identity" problems, low self -esteem and co dependence in the
marriage, without understand " the root". After an exhaustine the scientists are according in
that we born with different personalities, that they call “born, s personality". Most doctors
and psychologists are subdue to his patients to differents studies with the finally of understand
the person that they are trying to help. For example: have a temperament exercise Taylor-
Johnson and the indicator exercise Myers- Brigg.
On examine the differents personalities in this book, verifying the category of the strenghts
and debilities, can distinguish what is your personality, in this way like also of your children
and husband, concentrating in the strenghts of him and not in the defects.
The next pages will be help you to recognize better your personality. When read the different
definitions that are fit in it’s totally, be feel relief to discover, you will experience very "inside
of you" and find your authentic me, abandoned the mask, if you put one to be love and accept
for your husband, family or boyfriend; and in this way you know how be really feel in your
inside.
Ask yourself:
¿Am I living my own live, the life that reflects who I am authentically?
My objective is to help to discover who are you, to be authentic or that personality is genuine.
You will learn to know a person or the expression of the same throught your personality.
Remember that you are a mix of the four personalities. Generally the Simpatic Obtimist and
the Dinamic Lider are the extrovert.
The Talent Perfectionist and the Conciliator Diplomatic are the most introvert of the four
personalities and this will help you, because if try to be extrovert you be forcing to be, but
really is not, but that is introvert. Be relax and start to express that really feel since the most
deep of your hearth.
Other important thing is observe your strenghts (virtues) not your weakness. If weakness
exists, that with your own effort can´t be changed, ask to God.
Because I was five meetings with the death, I want to ask something: ¿if at the end or your
life was inminent, ¿What do you like to achieve? ¿What means for you a realize life?
Be quiet and listen the answer of the question. Ask yourself in the deepest of your hearth. It
will create space for amazing changes and is in this changes that reside the key of your
personal road to the sastified, because you will live the purpose or destiny that you change,
and not of the other person that you select. Nobody has right to do.
You know that you discover your authentic personality to feel most identified with yourself,
in peace and armony with what you do, how live your life, no like when confusing and
disconcern.
To feel peace and that sastifaction to shape your life, remember that you are a spiritual person,
not only mind and body, God love you, bring to you personality to bless of others. Most of
us make bad decisions in our lives (specially with the men) and lose our properly identity,
trying to please, negate your properly wishes and how feeling inside.
I will enumerate only the emotions of each personality, but only in the first category (most
forward) for bring an idea of how are basics emotions are low the four different types of
personalities, in the way of being able to discover your authenticity.
Your personality is part of your soul. Your soul consist in your mind (intelect), emotions, and
own will.

The personalities And Profiles

(In what we are thinking when we are meeting our blue prince)

When you were meeting this man, kind, love and to observe the next definitions of
personalities, sometimes we discover that he is not exactly like we thought; of course the next
is a joke, althought in some personalities have a grade of true. (Notice that he goes of left to
right, depending of how time be in the relationship).
Inteligent That know everything

Be similar Pround, conceited

Confident Arrogant

Conserved Mean

Affectionate/ loving Like so much sex

Funny Trivial

Talkative- Locuacious Detestable

Good Inconsideret

Athletic Fanatic of sports

Be travel so much Street

Quiet Timid

Ripe Passive and Boring

Determinate and with strenghts will Dominant

Spontaneous Impulsive

Changer Disposition Be anger easy

Sincerity of the hearth Look liar to some persons

Always kid Never growing

THE SIMPATIC OPTIMIST

The extrovert -The talker- The optimist

The person that want to enjoy

Strenghts weaknesses

Emotionally and demonstrative Very happy for some people

Talker and storyteller Compulsive talker

Good humor sense

Have memory for the color Can´t remember names

Be support in what listens Scare to others

Carismatic Exaggerate and laborate

Enthusiastic

Hapiness Challenge and complaint

Animated and expressive Ingenous

Good in the stage Have and strengh voice and smile

Always with tha eyes opened and innocents Contrilling for the circumstances

Live in the present Have a little energy

Change disposition Be anger easy

Sincerity of hearth Lie to some people

 The Simpatic Optimist like friend

Strenghts Debilities

Make friends with ease He hates to be alone

Love the people Need to be the care centre

Stay aflote in the flattery Wish to be popular

Seem interesting Search considerations

Covet to others Stop and not let to listen

Be apologize quickly Answer for others

Prevent thetedious moments Fickle and forgotten

Are be like the spontaneous activity Be excuse and repeat the stories
 The Simpatic Optimist like Mother / Father

Streghts weaknesses

Make of home a direction Keep his home in madness

Is loved by the friends of his child He forgets his child´s agreements

Change the mess in good humor Disorganized

Is the circus propietor Not listen to all story

The simpatic optimist like boyfriend/ husband

The simpatic optimist is usually very romantic. But take note: The strength and weakness of
each note down or list temperament, represent the characteristics of females and males.

Emotional Necessities of Simpatic Diplomatic:

Your wish is to amuse:

* Love * full consent

* Acceptance * Praise

* Attention * Affection
Someone should demonstrate his/her love to you in both verbal and physical ways.
You get to be overwhelmed when:
*There is not a hilarious sense for life anymore.
* They feel overwhelmed when dealing with responsibilities or boring tasks.
*Nobody shows a bit of recognition or at least a smile.
* He/she gets married with a Perfectionist (without knowing it). Then, a chance to overcome
this, a person gets into a "training program" to diminish this feeling.

Dynamic Lider
Extrovert – Optimist – Controller

Emotions of Dynamic lider

Strenghts Debilities
He born to be leader It can not be relaxed

Dynamic and active Very impulsive

Compulsive necessity to change He loves controversy

Must correct the mistakes He does not give up when

losing
With strength Too strong in his opinions

without emotions Inflections

Is not dis motivate easy is not like the tears or the

emotions
 The Dynamic lider in work

Strenghts Debilities

Guiding the goals Little tolerance to the mistakes

Look all the prospect Does not analyze the details

It is organized well Boring for trivial

Search the practices solution It can make abrupt decisions

Gets in practice action It can be burly

Creat the goal Demands of others

Devolve works Manipulate to people

Insists to produce The end justifies the means

Stimulate to the activity The work becomes his goal

Flourish in the oposition Demand loyalty in friends

 Dynamic lider like friend

Strenghts Debilities

Need to have few friends Tends to use the people

Will work in group activities Controlling to others

Might to organize and manage Decide for others

Is usually correct Know about all

Excels in the emergencies Can see all better

Is very dependent

Is possessive of his friends and

partners

Can not say "so sorry"

Can correct, but not popular

 The dynamic lider like Mother/ Father

Strenghts Debilities

Exercises appropiate leadership Tends to dominate

Is stablish goals Very busy for the family

Motivate the family to the action Give quickly answers

Know the correct answers Eager with poor performance

Do not let children relax

You ca refer to the depression

Tends to anger

Hostil temperament

Depend of mother´s temperament, we wait that the debilities are not going to be so dominants.
Remember that generally you are a mix of two personalities, for example: If you are simpatic
optimist and synamic leader you will be more" affectionate" with the children and not so
dominate. But if you are a Dynamic Leader and a Perfectionist, your children will have
difficulties to develop their "own personality" because you are not going to allow that your
kids make mistakes, or act improperly. Can not wait for example, that a girl of seven and
eight years act perfectly like you, because is a girl. Your children will feel "Fear" of you and
won’t be able to reflect "all" perfect in the "moment" that you ask for.
With this observation we are not criticizing your personality, because is "good", especially if
you have a business, or you are doctor, nurse or plays in any other profession that require
perfection.

Although, "children" need the opportunity to be kids. This does not means that cannot be
guided that act of correct way and the best possible, according to his/her age and
temperament.

Also need know that is possible that one or two of your children won´t posses your

same personality. Never will be perfectionist, because they won´t have composition

or genetics to be the person that think like you.

In this way we are trying to avoid some frustrations and sometimes anger against your

children, in case that they do not have the personality that you wish, thus, accept them like

God created them. Other advice that will help in your marriage is to know that the

Perfectionist Leaders generally are married with "opposites" personalities; the Leader

with the Conciliator, and the Perfectionist with the Nice Optimist. Any personality can

change, to think and act like other.

 Dynamic Leader Like Husband

Before marriage the Dynamic Leader know how winner, flatter her , taking her to eat and

to enoy. After marriage they tends to be cold, not loving, insensitive, irrespectives and

with different opinions. It will depend then of the second characteristics of your

personality, but an really Dynamic Leader will present the characteristics above

mentioned.

Of all personalities those can be one of the most difficults to live together with. If the Leader

has like second characteristic the Optimist Leader, then he can be loving. But if he is a

Dynamic Leader and Perfectionist, it will result so difficult to live with him in peace and
have your emotionals necessities supplies.

If you are an excessively person, not married I am not reproaching to the Dynamic Leaders,

only trying to said that they are the most difficults to the coanivance because the carency

of emotional tact and carency, aspects that an woman so much wait to recieve. Not is that

they are not loving his couples and children but, they do not proyect their emotions,

the major of times. Now that "domestic". In case that you are married with a leader, this

book will help you to show your husband how to love and supply to his necessities.

Must understand that the woman of Dynamic Leader is not indifferent because to his

hormonals necessities, but she has the tendence to be dominate.

We all have weakness without matter how are our temperaments. Lucky, we have a mix

of them. We can work about our debilities to improve ourselves, in way that our couples

and others can appreciate our strenghts and not only our effects. We must be ample and

be in disposition to work in our shortcomings for that our irritants habits or the

characteristics of our temperaments are not ofend or injury to others. Your strenghts wil

be then most outstandings and appreciate.

For the Dynamic Leader, the best would be to try with your couple a loving way, to difference

if bwe are married with a Perfectionist, because he is a really lover and generally thinks.

The Perfectionist can do that the Dynamic Leader feel more sensitive or affectionate

and not colder, when you express to him your emotional necessities, with tendeness.

Emotional Necessities of Dynamic Leader

Wish : To be in control, control

Emotional necessities:

* Acknowledgment for his hard work

* Wonderment for his successes and achievement

They feel depressed when:

* His life is out of control

* Other recieve the recognition, the acknowledgment or the ascent that was the objective
of all his work

* Be fired from his work, is powerless to control or change the circumstances

* Not have control about his personal life/ his couple ask for the divorce

Talented Perfectionist

The Introvert - The Thoughtful- The Pesimist

The Perfectionist

The Emotions of the Talented Perfectionist

Strenghts Debilities

Deep and thoughtful Remember the negative

An genius always ready Melancholic and depressed

Talented and creative Suspiction of others

Philosophical and poetic Out of this world

Artistic and musical Have an false humility

Appreciate of the beauty Low self image

Sensitive to others Listen selectively

Is sacrified himself Egocentric

Analytical Very introspective

Conscientious feelings of guilt

Serious and with a purpose Tends to the hipocrisy

The Talented Perfectionist in the work

Sttrenghts Debilities

Time oriented Is not an oriented person

Perfectionist Be depressed due to the

imperfection
Is detallist to conscious Melancholic

Persisit and is direct Choose the difficult work

Organized and arranged Hesitate to start projects

Like the investigation Pass much time to planned

See the problem Prefer the analysis to the work

Find the creatives solutions Disapproves himself

Need to finish what was started The standars are very high

Like the graphic plates and numbers Need deep approve

Talented Perfectionist Like Friend

Strenghts Debilities

make friends cautiously Live throught others

Hapiness to stay isolate Socially insecure

Man of word Solitary and out off

Avoid attracting attention Critic others

Faithful and devotee, search the perfect word Content the affect

Listen the complaint He does not like those who oppose

Can solve the problems of others People suspect

Deep concern for the people Incompatible and vindictive

Thoughtful Do not forgive

It excited with tears Full of contradictions

Have mercy Sceptic to the praise

The Talented Perfectionist Like Mother /Father

Strenghts Debilities

Stablish high standards Puts goals beyond the possible

Want everything to be done well Can demotivate children

Keep the house in order Can be very meticulous

Be feel better after to achieve an house project Become to martyr

Sacrifice her good choice to others Gets angry at disagreements

Motivate to talented study Put the guilts in the children

 Talented Perfectionist like husband

Most that any other personality, they have the ability to express the " really love".

The necessities of the talented perfectionist:

Wish: Have all perfect

Emotional necessities:

* Peace Sensitivity

* Security Being alone

* Space

They are feel depressed when:

* Life is not what you think it should be

* Life is turbulent or have caricity of peace

* There is too much noise, argument, discussion or violence

* His security be feel threaten in the office or in the home

* The others criticize him more tha usual

Conciliator Diplomatic

The Introvert- The one who watches - The Pesimist-

The Conciliator

The emotions of the Conciliator Diplomatic

Strenghts Debilities

Nice personality Irresponsive

Relaxed and unwrapped Afraid and worried

Calm, moderate and placid Indecisive

Very balanced Iron willpower

Consistence life Prevent responsabilities

Quiet but funny Selfish

Compassionate and kind Very painful and discreet

Supress the emotions Very risky

Happily reconciled with the life Virtuou

The Conciliator Diplomatic In The Work

Strenghts Debilities

Competent and serious It is not goal oriented

Calm and nice Lack of self- motivation

Have administrative ability Difficult to implement an paperwork

Interpose in the problems Resentful that to be shoved

Avoid the problems Lazy and neglected

Work well under pressure Demotivates to others

Find the most easy way Prefer to look

The Conciliator Diplomatic Like Friend

Strenghts Debilities

It´s easy to take with him Indifferent to the plans

Lovely and pleasant Judge to others

Good listener Sarcastic and joker

Friendly Resisits changes

Has a lot of friends Little sense of humor

Have sympathy Passive

Loyal Is most slow

 The Conciliator Diplomatic Like Mother/Father

Strenghts Debilities

Is a good father Relaxed en the discipline

Is dedicate to children Not organize the house or the home

Do not hurry take the life in an easy way

Do not mix well with bad It can be manipulated by the children

Not anger easily Retracted

 The Conciliator Diplomatic Like Husband

Is a wonderful husband, affectionate, considerate, easy to treat and thoughtful. Do not

know much about his sex life because he didn´t talk much. Although, the experience of

several marriage women with a Diplomatic / Conciliator ( myself included) , is that

they are courteous and tenders in the bedroom. This is, of course, if you wish to keep

awakes during much time and if there is enough energy to make love, but the major

of times they can keep awakes during this specially time of proximity and intimidate,

then after which will sleep ecstatic until the next morning. If you feel excessively

loving, maybe could be useful that he takes a nap after the dinner ( he probabbly will
take anyway).

The Emotionals Necessities Of Conciliator:

Wish : A peaceful life without confrontation

Emotionals Necessities:

* Peace Emotional support in his life

* Harmony Feel that have value and

Understanding

* Respect and Esteem of others

* Comprehension

Are feel depressed

* There is not peace

* Feel that are not value

* It is not needed, do not take into account, they do not appreciate

*Exist litigation, words of anger, anger and confrontations

Name of the personalities. Originals author_ description of personalities- Fred and

Florence Littauer ( Use under authorization of the author )

Personal Profile Test

To help you to discover your properly personalities, of the person with who you are

married and for a better relationship with your children; we offer the next test.

Instructions: In each one of the next lines of four words, put an X in front of

one of the terms that more often apply to you. Continue until finish the forty lines,

assure to mark each one. If you are not sure of how is the that "refers to you with most

precision", ask to your spouse, anyone of your family or an friend and think how
would have been your answer in your childhood. (Note: Some of the definitions of the

next therms are search inside the test).

Strenghts

1. - Daring - Adaptable

- animate - Analytical

2. - Persistence - Humorous

- Persuasive - Calm

- Sociable - Certain

4. - Considerate - Controlling

- Be responability - Convincing
5. - Encouraging - Respectful

- Reserved - Ingenoious

6. - Sastified - Sensitivity

- Self- sufficient - Ardent

7. - Planner - Patient

- Positive - Promoter

8. - Reliable - Spontaneous

9. - Organized - Helpful

10. - Friendly - Faithful

11. - Daring - lovely

- Diplomatic - Perfectionist

12. - Hapiness - Determined

13. - Idealist - Independent

- Harmless - Inspiring

14. - Demostrative - Decided

- Humor without sense - Deep

15. - Conciliator - Musical

- Proponent - Joke

16. - Careful - Tenacious

- Talker - Tolerant

17. - Listener - Loyal

- Lider - Vivacious

18. - Sastified - Boss

 - Organized - Attractive

19. - Perfectionis - Pleasant

- Productive - Popular

20. - Healthy - Dared

- Judicious - Balanced

Debilities

21. - Undemostrative - Timid

- Insolent - Bossy

22. - Disorderly - Without mercy

- Reasion - Rancorous

23. - Quiet - Resentful

- Resistance - Repeater
24. - Thorough - Afraid

- Forget - frank

25. - Impatient - Uncertain

- Undecided - Inappropiate

26. - Unpopular - Not promised

- Unpredictable - Aloof

27. - Stuborn - Slopy

- Nonconformist - -Unsteady

28. - Easy - Gloomy

- Arrogant - Indulgent

29. - Irrasible - Without purpose

 - Argumentative - Aligned

30. - Ingenuous - Negative

- Conceited - Indifferent

31. - Excited - Shy

- Addicted to work - Desirous of praise

32. - Very sensitive - Indiscreet

- Timid - Huckster

33. - Undecided - Disorganized

- Dominating - Depressed

34. - Flimsy - Introverted

- Intolerant - Indifferent

35. - Disordered - Reserved

 - Gossiping - Mnipulating

36. -Slowly - Obstinate

- Sumptuous - Sceptic

37. - Solitary - Tyrant

- Lazy - Noisy

38. - Unhurried - Suspicious

- Temper - Rambling

39. - Vengeful - Restless

- Reclutant - Hasty

40. - Compromising - Critical

- Clever - Moody
Now transfere all you X to words that are belongs in the sheet of results and equal the totals.

Create by: Fred Littauer (used with authorization).

Definitions of some found words in this test.

1. Analytical: Is anyone that like inspect the parts, for their logics and appropiate relations.

2. Convincing: Person that can convince anything, through his/her lovely personality.

3. Prudent: Is a quiet person and do not provoke, easier in conversation.

4. Daring: Is anybody that be ready to risk; intrepid and brave.

5. Diplomatic: Person who treats the people with tact, sensitive and patient.

6. Proposing: Focused person in the necessity to be productive. Is an lider to whose others

follow and found dificult to be quiet.

7. Conciliator: Is that, firmly, be found in the mediator role in the differences, to finally
prevent conflicts.
8. Apathetic: Is somebody that tends to not excited, feeling often that won´t work in any
way.

9. Stubborn: Is a person that insists to have his own way of being.

10. Very little necessity to make deserve his opinion.

11. Passionate: Person fulling of life.

12. Inspiring: Is one that motivate others to work, to unite or to involve and make that all
funny.

13. Humour without sense: Person who shows caricity of acuteness, commonly his little

humour is one-sided and can be sarcastic for naturally.

14. Tenacious: are those that keep stable, stubborn and not stop going to his goal until

have met.

15. Inexpressive: A person that not show almost emotions nor facial expressions.

16. Irritable: Is a person that act like was a kid with tantrum, and when it passes forgets
almost instantly.
17. Aligned: are those that frecuently, be feel strange, cutt from others, and almost always

because consider unsure when the others are not enjoying of his company.

18. Argumentative: Is any who incite to a dispute, generally because he is sure that he is

in right and not matter how is the situation.

19. Indifferent: are those that feel indifferent, that do not care about anything and nothing
bother.

20. Timid: Is any who feel retract of the difficult situations.

21. Undecided: Caricity of security and of trust that everything will be fine.

22. Introverted: Is one whose thoughts and interests directs to himslef and live for his being.

23. Reluctant: those who are not handy to implicate or struggle to get involve in

anything.

24. Suspicious: those who tends to suppose to others or to mistrust of the rest. and
of their ideas.

25. Sceptic: Is an incredulous person and question always the reasons that are

behind of the words ( The definitions by Lana Bateman).

Results Sheet

STRENHGTS

Optimist Pleasant

Leader Daring

Perfectionist Talented

Conciliator Placid
1 - Cheerful - Daring

- Analytical - Adaptable

2 - Humorous - Persuasive

- Persistent - Peaceable

3 - Sociable - Resolute

- Selfless - Submissive

4 - Convincing - Competitor

- Thoughtful - Control

5 - Encouraging - Clever

- Respectful - Discreet

6 - Passionate - Self- sufficient

 - Sensitive - Satisfied

7 - Promoter - Positive

- Planner - Patient

8 - Spontaneous - Secure

9 - Optimist - Sincere

- Organized - Helpful

10 - Funny - Controlling

- Loyal - Friendly

11 - Lovely - Daring

- Detallist - Diplomatic

12 - Happy - Trusting
 - Learned - Firm

13 - Inspiring - Independent

- Idealist - Harmless

14 - Demostrative - Decided

- Deep - Humour without sense

15 - Entertaining - Promising

- Musical - Conciliator

16 - Talkative - Tenacious

- Attentive - Tolerant

17 - Vigorous - Leader

- Loyal - Listener

18 - Attractive - Boss
 - Organized - Sasisfied

19 - Popular - Productive

- Perfectionist - Pleasant

20 - Healthy - Insolent

- Wise - Adjusted

SUB-TOTALS - - - -

Debilities

21 - Impertinent - Bossy

- Timid - Unexpressive

22 - Undisciplined - Without sympathy

- Resentful - Reasio
 23 - Repeater - Resistence

- Rancorous - Quiet

24 - Forget - Frank

- Thorough - Afraid

25 - Imprudent - Impatient

- Insecure - Indecisive

26 - Unpreditable - Distant

- Unpopular - Not engaged

27 - Careless - Stubborn

- Dissident - Unsteady

28 - Indulgent - Arrogant
 - Pesimist - Simple

29 - Irritable - Argumentative

- Aligned - Without purpose

30 - Ingenuous - Vain

- Negative - Indifferent

31 - Eager of praises - Addicted to work

- Withdrawn - Excited

32 - Fraudster - Indiscreet

- Very sensitive - Timid

33 - Disorderly - Dominating

- Depressed - Undecided
34 - Fragil - Intolerant

- Introverted - Indiferent

35 - Disorganized - Manipulating

- Reserved - Gossiping

36 -Sumptuous - Obstinate

- Sceptic - Slow

37 - Noisy -Tyrant

- Solitary - Lazy

I. 38 - Rambling - Bad mood

- Suspicious - Sluggish

39 - Restless - Hasty

- Vengeful - Reluctant
40 - Variable - Clever

- Critical - Compromising

SUB- TOTALS - - - -

TOTALS - - - -

SUMMARY OF THE DIFFERNT

PERSONALITIES

*Simpatic Optimist

* Dynamic Leader

* Talented Perfectionist

* Diplomatic Conciliator

SUMMARY OF "SIMPATIC OPTIMIST"

"make in funny way"

Wish: Enjoy

Emotionals Necessities: Attention, affect, approval, acceptance.

Key Force: Can talk of certain topic in any moment or any place with or without

information; have a happy personality, optimist, sense of humor, hability to tell stories

and are like the rest of the people.

Key Debility: Disorganized, can,t remember details nor names, exaggerate , is not

serious in regards to nothing, trust when others do their work, is very ingenuous and

trusted.

It Is Depressed When: The live is not funny and when consider that nobody loves him.

Have Fear Of: Not be popular or bore, having that life attached to an timetable or keep
money report that has spend.
Are Like the Person: That are listen and smile, that praise and aprove.

Are Not Like: Those who criticize, those who do not have answer to his humor, and those
who are nice.

Is Appreciate To Work : With the creativity of colors, optimist, quick contact, for

animate to others, and to amuse.

Can Be Improve If: Becomes organized, not talk so much and learn to be punctual.

Like Leader: Excite, convince, and inspire, to others, radiate charm and entertainment,

but forget and nothing good to continue an conversation.

Tends To Married: With perfectionists that are sensitives and serious, but quickly the

populars are get tired to have to encourage them all the time, and make them feel

useless or stupids.
Reaction To Stress: Leave the stage, go to shopping, eat more, are found in funny group,

create excuses, negated the reality, blame to others.

Be Recognize For: Talk constantly, garish, bright eyes, move his hands, colorful clothes,

magnetic personality, hability to tell stories.

"SUMMARY OF DYNAMIC LEADER"

"Let,s do it my way"

Wish: Have the control.

Emotional Necessities: Obedience sense, esteem for the achievements, credit for skill.

Key Force: Ability to be in charge of anything instantly, do quickly and correct

judgmments.

Key Debility: Very bossy, controlling, autocrat, insensitive, is not handy to delegate nor

give credit to others.

It IS Depresed When: The life is out of control and people are not doing the things in

in his way.

Have Fear Of : Lost the control af anything, like lose his job, not to be promote, get sick

gravely, have a rebel son or a couple that not support him.

Are Like The Persons That: Produce and are submissive, see things

since his point of view, are cooperate quickly and let take the credit.

Are Not Like: Those who are lazy and are not ready to work constantly, those who

oppose to his authority and whose are independents or are not loyal.

Is Appreciate To Work : Because can achieve more like no other in little time and

generally does well.

Can Be Improve If : Allow others make desicions, delegate authority, abroad more patient,
and do not wait for others to achieve the same productivity of him

Like Leader: Have the natural ability to be in authority, a flexible sense of what can give

results, and a true belief in his ability of carrying out theirs achievements, but usually

smoother to the persons that are fewer aggressives.

Tends To Married With: Passives that are obey calmly that are not darehis authority,

but neither have enough achievement nor excited for his projects.

Reaction To Stress: Reasert his control, work most hard, practise more, dispose of the

offending, be keep out of the social situations.

Recognize For: His agility to take control, for the trust in his self , for his disquiet

attitude and because be propose.

"Summary Of Talented Perfectionist"

 " Let,s do in the correct way "

Wish: Do well, do perfect.

Emotional Necessities: Sense of stability, space, silence, creativity ans support.

Key Force: Ability to organized, determine goals to long- term, have high rules and

ideas, analize deeply. Gather too much in the details, remember the negative things,

suspect of the rest.

Be Depressed When: The life is disorganized, rules are not met, it seems that

nobody matter.

Have Fear Of : That nobody understand how he feels, grown to have implicate

his rules.

Are Not Like The Persons That: Are superficial, forgetful, arrive late,

Are dissorganized, that trick that are unpredictable.

Is Appreciated To Work: Because the sense in the details, like the analysis to follow up.
High levels of presentation and is compassionate with those whose suffer.

Can Be Improve If : Be trace goals, be self motivate, if he was willing to do the things

more quickly of what he want, and if he tackle his own problems in the same way in that

control the problems of the rest.

Like Leader He: Keep be relax, calm, not take impulsive decisions, is pleasant and

harmless, does not cause any problems, but it is not usual to have excelent ideas.

Tends to Married with: Strong people because respect their strenght and for the fact to be
deciding, but afterwards it is tired of what they are shove aside and despise.

Reaction to Stress: He hides himself, watch TV, and eat, scape of the life, sleep.

Be Recognized For: His calm approach and pleasant, his relaxing position and beacuse
participate and learn when have the possibility.

In conclusion, the Simpatic Optimist want to have fun.

The Dynamic Leader want to have the control. The Talented Perfectionist want do all well

and The Diplomatic Conciliator want to avoid the conflict.

When I get the profile scores of his personality, maybe it has only one personality or

maybe it has a mix of two. The natural mixes are:

Simpatic Leader- Dynamic Leader " Do in my way and will be funny".

Leader- Perfectionist "Do in my way and will be perfect".

Perfectionist- Diplomatic Conciliator " Do in the correct way but won´t cause any

problem.

The most common coments that we get after a seminary of the personalities are:

" This free me to be whose God wants me to be ". We know through the experience that

when a person stared an program of self- assessment, God opens your mind to new

revelations, because he wishes that the true stay in our most deep areas an the analysis
of the personalities is the resource to get really happiness.

Almost all can be found in a personality pattern that fit and feel natural . But it can be

that some of you have difficults to see how is the word that most apply to your

own reallity. Afterwards we offer a section with some definitions of words. This bring

the meaning of what we have in mind when we create the profile. After that you mark a

word in each line ( forty marks), transfere to the scores sheet and equal. Add the totals in

the scores sheet, equal and add the totals in the next sheet in the four squares.

The most common mixes are: The extroverts, Optimist, Simpatic-Leader of wich like the

stillness and the prudent thoughts.

Maybe it makes the 50% of each one of this two types, but sometimes can be 30% to 70%.

The key is ¿ what will you feel in the deep of himself, when read one or two descriptions that
seems to you? I hope you perceive peace, as finally it was discovered the personalities that
can identify your identity and the unique personality. Each person is speacially, although

others ca have any similar, but in the way that we were created and for the circumstances of
life, we can not think same.

"Talented Perfectionist Sumary"

"Let,s do it in the correct way"

Wish: Did well, did perfect.

Emotional Necessities: Sense of stability , silence, creativity and support.

Key Strenght: Ability to organize, mark goals to long period, have high rules and ideas, deep
analysis. Too Concentrated in details, remember the negative things, suspect of others.

Be Depressed When: disorganized life, not accomplish the rules, seem that

nobody matter.

Make The Square Of The Personalities

How believe that you are?

RELATIVE PRODUCTION

Optimist Leader

Conciliator Perfectionist

Other normal mixes, are strong, organized, Perfectionist- Leader whose reach much and

really likes work. Maybe in this test the half and half but rather a 60 -40 percent. If

the 60 is stronger, the person will be more optimistic, straightforward and quickly to

move and will be mentally organized. If in the balanced is 60 percent perfectionist,

the person rather will be pesimist, run softly, slow in his movements and make his

organizations written. A high percent of the executives, are inside of this mix:

Perfectionist- Leader.

The Optimist -Conciliator will most bend in a direction that in the other. If the person
is mostly simpatic will have an light character, good humor , easy to carry, lover of fun

and optimist. If thrive the pasive, will be slower, withdrawn, without interest, less

noisy and with an abrupt humor sense. This mix always is friendly, relax and

attractive; but this individuals are bad to manage the monet and often are

incapable to lead correctly the different aspects of his life. Believe that all is work and there
is no time to have fun. This will do of him a boring person.

Now that we saw the natural mixes, ¿what does it means if you are a little of all?

Most of people believe that are equaly average and probably this pattern is most spiritual.

Maybe this conclusion is possible, but is unlikely.

1. Check again the profile and the evaluation sheet to make sure that you do according to the

indications. Some people are found in all because are not transfered correctly the marks.

2. Read again the strong areas of the passives and also the debilities in the evaluation
sheet and see if it fits in the major of them. Often the conciliators are most balanced that the

rest and have more problems to select a word.

3. Inspect the meaning of the words in the area of your personality tree and ask for a

friend that inspects and has selected together with you, if have problems to know in wich

personality you stay.

4. you Should notice that if your childhood was a sad and boring existence, a home that

Wasn´t function good, when having any control. Or a situation in wich had to perform

different roles to coexist with the rest. Like result, has ended up being all for everyone, to

such a degree, that can´t be found to his "really me" inside himself. Take a time and ask

to God that reveal one of the possible answer to this multipurpose personality.

Name of the orogin personalities of the author

Description of personalities of Fred and Florence Littauer

( Used under authorization of authors)

Your Love Bench

I would like to introduce a dominated concept " your love bench", wich contents many
different tells. The implementation of the love bench concept, has brought back, life and
romance in a relation with many problems and has save millions of marriages on point of
divorce.

The development of the "love bench" concept however was born from the indifference and
disasters of phsycologists who tried to help couple with problems during the firsts ten years
of his practice.

The history in back of innovation of "love bench", will increase your faith and will bring
"hope", for you and your husband , again are the feelings of love and passion, like when
where dating. I discovered the concept of "bench of love" after having read some books in
english, about marriage. When writing this book, I felt that something was missing, or there
would not be a million divorces per year in United States.

Finally I found an english book, written by the doctor Willard Harley PH.D., with the title
"The Necessities of Him, The Necessities of Her". The doctor Harley explain that the first
ten years like psychologist met couples on poised to divorce; almost everyone divorced, but
despite he tried to help them solve their problems, the help was not enough to save the
couple´s relationship.

Definitely this result did worried him so he visited other psychologists, with the purpose of
knowing about the success thay they had gotten to give advice to couples with problems and
poised to divorce. Problems like: loss of work from one of two, unplanned pregnancy, ilness,
accident or a number of things that put financial pressure, depressed or stress in the couple.

He was surprised to see that the others psychologists also they had problems to treat with
some couples, without positive results, whose comments abstained from publishing or share;
however, the doctor Harley elaborated a new survey with some psychologists in United
States, asking them about their successes to help the couples with marital problems and one
more time was surprised to discover that others psychologists neither had gotten good results.

This was a challenge to try to discover wich could be the key, to rekindle love in a couple.
He wanted to transform the idea that divorce was not the only answer, awful relationship due
to the problems that are born to destroy the marriage. This also might include the subsequent
marriages that discipline the children of the wife or the husband. Both must have the right
and the respect of children to discipline them and to agree before the marriage. ¿Who will
handle the financial aspects? The subsequent marriages have an emotional burden and
obstacles to overcome them, with wich the first marriages do not have to deal. No matter if it
is your second or third marriage, the "bench of love" concept was discovered by the doctor
Harley, after many investigations, realizing that if everyone´s needs are satisfied, these are
the bases for a successful marriage. Besides, observe between the couples there was no
romance or fun that could help to confront the problems and the existent of stress in their
lives. Women often say: "He he is not for me emotionally, or, all he does is work. We never
go anywhere, and I have full responsability for the children". The husband will say: " She
used to be very loving and receptive, since she had the baby , she always is tired; does not
want to make love like before, or leave the baby with her mom, go with me to a sporting
event just like we did before". Or, as soon as she arrives, she goes home and starts with the
affairs of the children or the counts. And she wants me to fix something in the house, when
has not even greeted me with a hug or a kiss, or ask me ¿How was your day?"
Based on these complaints and many others, to doctor Harley, had an idea, take a survey of a
thousand couples and ask them: ¿Wich are the ten most important "emotional needs” of man
and of woman in the marriage, which can cause to feel again love for the spouse? I added
"two"most by my own interviews. When you already know what the emotional needs are,
(although they may be opposite to yours), these will sastify them by showing your husband
your real love. When a couple gets married, it´s because they are in love and are attracted in
an irresistible way, filing each one with the emotional needs of other, because they love each
other unconditionally. When "unexpected" problems come to marriage, the strain affects "the
feelings of love". When the couples had visited the doctor Harley, they had already lost that
feeling of love that attract them.

Finally the doctor Harley verified that once couples knew the emotional needs of both, then
they would be able to fill both physically and emotionally,to bring back love, the joy, the
happiness, so that the feeling of love would be arisen again.

Then they will realize the actions or habits they should avoid. The doctor Harley began to ask
couples who had marriages with problems, ¿ what could other person do to make them
happier? Watever the answer, was the first homework that had. The doctor Harley continued
saying: " Not all couples knew they could be happy, because were emotionally sore, that
neither of them wanted to even try".As doctor Harley started to help couples through to
"identify" their specific emotional needs, gave them hope. At least they would try for three
months to meet the needs of both, even if they did not feel it that way at the beginning, He
believed that could "fall in love" again and not divorce.

Like psychologist, I discovered what is know as "Learned Association", ( as explained

before) that cause a great majority of our reactions and emotional feelings.

The analysis and the theories of doctor Harley were correct. If we supply the "emotional
needs of someone, we will feel good in the presence of that person, we will being attracted
to the spouse again and the feelings of love can be turned and restored. To help the couples
to understand the ups and downs of each ( emotions/ feelings) the doctor Harley had the idea
of "Love of Bench".
He established that "the feeling of love is very predictable"and also explain that inside of
each one of us is a "Love of Bench" and that each person that you meet have an account in
the own. This love of bench save an emotional record of how people treat us. If they make
us feel good, the "love units" will be deposited in people´s count. When we feel better with
someone, the greatest number of love units will be deposited. However, in this case in relation
to the wife or husband that make us feel bad in our emotions, the love units are removed from
his or her account. The number of love units that are retired depends on how bad they feel.
There is an account for each person you meet, who makes deposits or withdrawals.Of course
all this is at a subconscious level.

The interactions of pleasure cause depositis, while painful and frustrating interactions cause
withdrawals. This is very important for you to understand it with your husband, that´s why I
took the time to explain and develop the concept of "Love of Bench".

Do not stop depositing every day, once you are married. The depositis are very importants,
so do not mark red in your account. Each deposit or withdrawal equals a number of "love
units” and any person can calculated this unit in the fllowing way:

One unit if the interaction was nice.

Two units if the person was made to feel good.

Three units if the person was made to feel immensely well

Four units if it was exceptionally good, one of the best experiences has

had in a long time.

As life goes by, the accounts in my "love of bench" fluctuated. Some of my friends build
large accounts, while others remain small. This, of course, depends on how often my friends,
acquaintance and interact. Other group of people dissapoint me because they cause me more
pain than pleasure. I never feel good in the presence of them. In other words, theirs accounts
in "my love of bench” are overdraw.

Some of you may think: "Well, if it´s the case, the account of my husband or wife was closed
for a long time, because I never feel good in "his presence". If your account is closed, then
you are telling me that do not feel anything emotionally for him. Maybe can still have
emotions of anger, rejection, resentment or bitterness, but do not have any love emotion for
your spouse. I trust what I said will help you bring that flame back and given you hope. You
can reopen your account only by opening your heart back to him. This book will help you
achieve it. Likewise, you are constantly depositing or withdrawing "love units" in your
husbands or boyfriends account, and of course, the "love units" of him are being deposited or
withdrawn in your account. The goal is reopen your husbands "love of bench" in case of that
the account has been closed or overdrawn. Maybe this was caused by your constant criticisms
or reproaches and the disapproval of him, or for lack of him in filling your emotionals and
physics needs because the knowledge that is in the book is missing.

We are working in a conference for husbands and boyfriends, so they understand what the
needs of women are. But by the moment, this book is basically aimed at you to help you
understand your couple´s needs and how you can find them to bring fun, communication and
romance back to the relationship. If your relationship is really strong, then this book will
strengthen you even more. In this book, the same as in the conference, I will put emphasis on
the needs of woman, so you can share them with you couple. Only will have the power to
easily reopen the account, if is closed, putting in practice the suggestions that I provide.

Usually the man do not have idea of how to love a woman , beyond the physics or financial
necessities, thus, this is the reason of the title of the book: "Love, Show me How Love you".
The man is like a river, the woman is like a sea (taliking emotionally, for the differences in
hormones). If your husband can learn to love as you want, but the need help to understand
your emotional needs and try to supply. He can not know your emotional needs, if you do not
manifest it in a kind and gentle way. Women, t men can not guess your mind. ¿Can you read
the mind or thoughts of someone? ¡I do not think so! Make the discovery of emotional needs
fun for your spouse.

The "love of bench" concept, will given reason to see how many units he can putting in his
account, during one month. Is like a football or the basketball. Men like to see and participate.
See how many points they need to score and win the game. Of course that the marriage is not
a game, but when the husband is doing something concrete, the wife feel happy (depositing
in your love of bench). By suppling one of your emotional or physical needs, is teaching him
how to love her.

Other example: Roberto, thanks to listen my necessity and have quality of time with me.

I know that you are a worker man , and I appreciate your desire to provide everything for us.
I miss the moments alone that we used to have, I emply a nany for friday at night, I kidnap
you. Do not tell where you are going. If you can pay, first go to dinner, then to a hotel, to a
nice place so he does not complain that you are spendind money. If you can´t pay a lodging,
take the children to the grandmother, or to any of your friends, prepare an delicious dinner,
put soft and romantic music "all night. Do not talk about problems. Just love him, like when
you are married. If he asks ¿ what happended to you? , tell him that you have been
remembering how wonderful it is to be with him, that misses his proximity and just wants to
be in his arms. Place your arms around him and kiss him. The majority of spouses will
respond.

This situation occurs, of course it depends if both have been said hurtful words for several
months or years. If this is the case like "mature person" excuse for hurting him, mention his
good qualities ( name some) and tell him that feels has not told him often that love and admire
him so much. These qualities could be: laborious, foresighted, honest, good father,
affectionate, positive and collaborator at home. Be authentic and honest when expressing it.
The point is establish what was mentioned above about your husband´s love bench. In case
the bank´s love account has been closed, because there was no deposit on his part, and
because of the "emotional" injuries that you have caused, for lack of understand this physics
necessities that he longs, can reopen it little by little.
Each person aspires to be loved. You were in love, you can be again, if you leave your pride
aside and begin to practice daily the steps suggested in this book, those that have been
"checked" (as they were told) and they will be of help to thousands of couples to fall in love
again, even those about to divorce who thought they hated each other. When each one of the
couple´s emotional needs was daily fulling, once again you are opened their hearts, because
the love units or the facts of love, were being deposited back into the love accouts.

What the couples do not know is that the divorce is not the answer, because unless you
understand the concept "love bench" and the differences in the emotional needs, they will
love the next couple as they did with the previous one. But if you are constantly hurt by words
and deeds; be modest and tell him: "Obviously, I don´t understand which are the emotional
needs", Love , show me how love you". I want the passion and the intimacy that we had at
the begining and I do not want to live like that. Tell me what would make you happy to
rebuild our relationship.

Prepare to make love to him if it is what he wants. He will surprise, do not know to say or
think, or maybe do not want any nearness. It will depend on how long they have been isolated
emotionally and physically. ¡ be patient! Be sure that listen his needs and start to supply them
little by little, depositing new units in his love account that were originally held. He will
"notice" quickly that you are honest for the love that you had. This will help to tear down the
obstacles in your heart, to bring hope and new "spark" so you can love each other again.

However some marriage counselors are thinking that all that your spouse really want is meet
how you feel, according to Doctor Harley, “are wrong". Knowing that your spouse feel you
do not do have an enough “passionate" love. He establish:

"I have helped hundreds of couples who care about each other and still want a divorce.

But I have not met a couple in love who is contemplating divorce.

The reason is that if keeping the love desolate, is not enough to save an marriage, because
good intention only gets to a certain point, but when their attempts inspire "acts or actions"
and care, can achieve that your spouse feel happy.

The difference between the love that worries and the passional love, it occurs when your
actions fill the "important emotional needs" in your couple.
If your actions are the kind of love care about, ( the key word is the event or actions) that
make happy your spouse. One of the great problems in the marriage, is that before married,
the differences in the emotional needs between man and woman have never been analized. In
addition, despite the mentioned problems, wich maybe be against a couple (marriage) , do
not stop conquering or trying to fill these needs with your couple.

Tackle the topic, do not attack you. Keep the love alive between you, of course wit all
fraknes, since both woman and man, they have never taken a course or conference about how
to love someone and understand the differences between emotional needs and how find them.
That is why I wrote this book trying to improve and save marriages, the same to help those
who will married.

1, ¿ Why is it that there are so many love affairs outside of marriage? This is because

the wife or husband does not manifest the true love, neither do not fill the emotional

needs of your couple throughout the relationship. Then come other person that do and

start to fill the wife,s or husband,s bench of love

For this reason I have dedicated a lot of time to this important topic in the married

relationship and bring you hope for that feels and the love can be arose again.

2. To understand and fulling the differences of the emotional needs, the " bench of
love concept" is crucial, to keep alive and flourishing the relation of love, and is when

most married couples are discover that "the feel of romantic love", is most delicated

as they originally think.

·3. The feel of love is what keep our batteries recharged to the person that we loved,

with whose presence we are feel satisfaced, relaxed and in peace, for his capacity, not

Only to take care of us, no know prevent problems, but also to make us feel happy.

4. We want to spend "time"again with our husband, to show us his love and also to

know that we care about passional love. I´m not just talking about sexual love, but

Affect outside the bedroom, sharing all, when can be understand your feelings.

5. When either you are discouraged, with only to said to your husband or wife that

you believe in him or her, in his abilities, talents and do not worry, it will manage to lift your

spirits.
6. ¡Express to your spouse that you love him how much you appreciate what he does for you,
as usually we never do!

7. Deposit constantly ( this is that you want) love units in his account, in a daily base.

Let him express himself freely, without fear even thought his ideas are illogical and

appear simple . ¡ Do not interrumpt when he is talking! wait till he finishes to express

what he thinks.

8. Be quick to apologize. Not only to have fewer possible withdrawals, but to

keep open the comunication lines between both.

To help to protect your relationship, with the love bench concept in mind, I want to

mention how destroyed the romantic love. According to doctor Harley, with whose

opinion I fully agree, below we describe, five basic aspects of we what call

"love thieves"
1. Selfish requests.

2. Disrespectful reproaches: it lowers your spouse´s moral to get what you want,

establish that your opinion is better than him/ her.

3. Explosion of anger. Dampen or scare the spouse.

4. Behavior and Irritating Habits: They are personal habits such as how to eat,

how to speak, when clean after eat, or if it does not.

5. Dishonesty: Lying destroys love and trust in the relationship. I,ve spent twenty-eight

years advising hundreds of women and more than two hundreds of women and more

than two hundred couples, in the sense that love between the spouses is directly

affected for the most of the behaviors and the irritating habits.

Whatever we do daily ( although we realize or not), deposit the units in the love bench
of your spouse, or will make withdrawals as I mentioned earlier; but the love bench´s

deposits will not do anything for your marriage if the anger explode, especially in the

way like handle the marital conflicts. Bursts of anger could cause more withdrawals

than deposits. Anger outburst are destroy the romantic feelings that your spouse

have to you.

The three first ""love thieves", above mentioned are intuitive, but is a way of getting

what you want from the other.

Some examples: When you ask your spouse to do something, but he ignores it, then

it becomes a demand: I don,t care if you want to do it or not, or how you feel about

this, I´m telling you to do it. If he refuses a request of you, then you can make

disrespectful comments, critic wises, like: "If you had some common sense and you

were not so lazy or selfish to do it). Now he will be against the character, the
intelligence and the courage of your husband (or the wife if he is who reads this)

and try to lower his moral ( or to her) to get that you want. When this tactic does not

work, maybe an anger outburst emerge and the other will feel not having done what

was asked. This is then "emotional abuse" of the spouse.

Over time the requests, the lack of respect and dislikes, tends to do that the spouse be

" less affectionate and considerate to you". In fact he will do less for you, building

emotional walls between both.

This is not the intelligent way to handle conflicts or external problems that bring stress

in the marriage relationship. Your love bench "instantly drops to 0" , if you behave

like this, since instead of trying to calmly share feelings, the anger outburst are

threaten the spouse´s security sense. Instead of protecting the opinions and feelings
of one and the other, fights become the number one resource of each one´s unhappiness.

Neither you nor your spouse got married to hurt yourself. Instead of that, were

considered and cared about filling the emotional needs of each one at the beginning,

otherwise, would never had married.

When have an interests problem or conflict, that could cause that one of you anger or

irritated:

1. Tell your spouse"Time". Take half an hour to calm and do not decide while we are

like this. If the circumstances are serious, then take twenty- four hours.

2. Make a list of the pros and cons, to have an visual idea of the suggestions that both

are offer to resolve the conflicts or problems. If you can not still solve them, look

for advise with a trusted friend or professional.

Obviously, if one of you is angry, will be turning off each other and the consequence
is "emotional isolation". Do not let the lack of empathy contribute to trying to

understand why your spouse feels or think differently about the problem that separates

them.

Try to see trought the eyes of your couple and ask yourself:

1. ¿ What brought the solution to this problem?

2.¿What facts have to support the conclusion?

3.¿ How affect us the solution to the problem immediately or in two or three

years?

I understand that will be a myriad of problems; some can be solved immediately, but

other especially the financials, they may take time to resolve.

The point is bring you practical suggestions in the solution of problems. When
people are angry, let emotions control them instead of being logical and objective.

Quietly think in the critics decisions that can be affect the marriage relation and the

future of the family.

There is a proverb in the bible that I discovered a couple of years ago, about anger.

To be honest, I was surprised at the accuracy. Proverbs 15: 1,2 " the soft response

removes the anger, but the rough word raises the furor. The tongue of the wise will

adorn wisdom: but the mouth of fools will speak foolish things".

In fact all chapter 15 of Proverbs show us the example of an wise person and the

exemplar of stupid in an interpersonal relation, by showing us that we have

"self-will" and we can choose how react and answer to our spouse. To prove

my point of view, let,s see, Proverbs 15: 18 "The angry man promote straife, but the
one that takes in anger calms the quarrel".

Many times in my own relation with my husband Gregg, I had to take the personal

decision if I must react or not. In my mind I was thinking: Marla "don,t react" stay calm,

you don,t need answer always". But I would like to give it to you, an advice;

especially for women that are complain that her husbands never speak,

husbands are trying to said something,( to know what you think), listen them although

sometimes their opinions are different from yours. The withdrawals in my

husband´s love bench, sometimes, have been more than my deposits; I am sure that

he will said the same in my love account. Because I understand the love bench

concept, i put in practice that i share with you. I try to deposit new units in this

account of my husband daily ( because is funny), asking God for his help, because
honestly there are moments where I do not feel anything for him by the problems and stress
that life put in pressure. This robbed us the romance and time together

to protect the love that we both have always feel. Most of you (if are honest), know

what I am talkng. THE LOVE comes of God, and often I ask to him, that bring me

an new love feel for my husband, because some times have days that I´m tired ( having

an special son) trying to fulling my husband "emotional needs" specific ( that he wish

that I satisfied) , but when I do, again I creat again "emotional intimacy". See him

to answer, it proves to me that works the theory of the bond of love, althought has

been scientifically proven, that daily when there afre dificult situations in the marriage,

one wants to know if the love bench concept, work in his own circumstance.

This is the one of the most reasons that I wrote this book to you for the "love bench" is

one of the most importants "keys" creating an new love sense for your husband or
wife.

I am lucky because my husband also understand the love bench concept and try to

Fill also my necessities. Gregg has his title in phsychologi and know that the

concept also works, because when he is fulling my needs, I feel attrackted to him

again, knowing that he is trying to show his love and achieve "emotional intimancy"

with me.

I learned, trought the years and of most hardship that are broken my heart, tragedies

and experiences with death, that anger it´s not use, that depletes our energy and

destroy the relationship. But I have an option, I decided by own choice,"think "

before speak (if I speak).

We, women, "do not" always have an solution or answer to the problems of our

husband.
Maybe that he wants, is to be listened and in this way you can gain points in your account of

love bench.

Fortunately me and Gregg have a wonderful relationship today, we learn to try to

understand one another when in occasions we were upset with one another trought

the years. He understand, just like me, the love bench concept and the "importance"

of each one that we did not understand in our first marital relationships about the

emotional differences. We have both learned, whether in our marriage,or in our

relationship with the family, that being angry is lost of energy.

A soft answer lowers anger. If you disagree with your husband or with his point

of view, you can always said: "That´s an interesting way to see the situation
you can say as I say to my husband Gregg: "I´ll think about that", the argue do not

change the opinion of the person, especially if he has a Dynamic Leader personality.

If his way of thinking is different to your, "Save the breathing" ( see the personality

section). Rarely an Dynamic Leader change his opinion to change anything, unless you

"objectively" demostrate that his conclusions are incorrect. Also, an Dynamic Leader

will have a challenge putting in practice the deposits in his bench of love, although

he will wait for your,because the leaders are not sensitives and it will be difficult

to be honest about how they really feel. All depends of his personality mix.

When finishing this fundamental material of the love bench concept, I want to

touch the "honesty" theme in the marriage relationship, or ( in the engagement).

From the being of the book, I want to make an emphasis in the importance to be
"honest" with your husband in the sexual intimacy area, that is not always expressed, taking
away the opportunity to teach us how tp love them. The only

"exception" is that his honesty can physically endanger, including to your children.

¿ Are you married to someone who gets angry easily? Unfortunately of the four

personalities that I share in this book, The Dynamic /Perfectionist Leader can be

"emotionally" abusive and sometimes physically. I´m not against the Dynamic Leader,

but, I considered it necessary to give us as much information about his attitude

towards honestly, "if you live with one of them". But nevertheless, you can succeed

in the marriage with a Dynamic Leader, that you always dream, like I explain

on the other section of the book, because the Leader Perfectionst personality

can be the most romantic. The perfectionist is very romantic, my husband is one

of them. They can change and be romantic, if it helps them learn how to
relate, without exploit or being abusive. I try to bring you examples to not

react and be patient if they are angry. When the other emotional and physic

needs are satisfied, the stress start to low. They will feel accepted, respected and

admired by you, because the purpose is to deposit daily, in the love bench of your

husband.

Believe me, they can warn and start to "appreciate and love", especially if

they have abused you, emotionally (verbally) throughout the conjugal relationship.

For some of you, this will be dificult for the wounds that your husbands

emotionally cause. I bring you tools to change a relationship maybe very

destroyed. They (Dynamic Leaders), they know intuitively that are destroy his

relationship with his strong personalities and they want to change, but they

do not know how. Behold your role´s wife, has a great importance in how
to help to change his rejections. If you can understand that like leader he wants to

control the lives of all, and it is n unsafe child ( although he seems to be sure of

himself). A child in an adult body that was mistreated in his childhood, who was not

understood, or never managed to be emotionally healed, and wants to control so he

will not be hurt again. Your unconditional love, can help to "feel" more emotionally

secure. Generally, the leaders are doctors, lawyers, business men, pilots, builders,

or politics. they Are very inteligents and are emotionally attracted, to the quiet and

calm women.

The leader generally have "hurry" in all that he doES, (also in the bedroom) and to not

feel used, tell him: " Love I know that I am able to feeling passion, if you take
more time with me". Maybe we can have two or three "fixed" nights during week

and every weekend for us alone". Believe me, that will attract his "attention" and he

will count the days to love you. Do not stay quiet. None of the spouses wants to fail in

bed, especially the leader. The spouses "think" how to "love" to his wives, when

they are love (in their own way) sexually. Teach him how do it. Generally,the doctors

and psychologists agree. Men do not know that their wives need to be "ready"

to make love. They are not like singles ( lovers) in the novels, always physically

arranged. Wives teach them: "Love, I like when you touch me here, when you kiss me

like this, when you get colony and when you hug me in this way, I feel that you

really love me".

The spouses love it, that their wives tell them they need them in the bedroom.
The act of sex does not have the same meaning for women as for men, as I explain

in another section of the book, under the title " The Number One Necessity of

Man".

In the book "Love is a Decision" by Gary Smalley, he explain: " The men are like

microwave" instantly ready to make love, in the morning, at noon, and in night and

also are have hurry to finish the experience, just like the microwave when finished

cooking. The woman is like a slow wave, that take time to get warm. She wants

emotional intimacy, sexual quality in the relationship with her husband".

To sum up:

When the leader is upset:

1. Give him a lot of space when he arrives at the house.

2. When he is most calm, give a back massage, if he likes. You can tell him:
Hey, honey, it seems that you have had a stressful day ( then do not talk anymore).

Let him speak, if he wants to, and do not express more about the things he has to do.

3. Generally, the leaders are very passionate, and are need a lot of love (sex), this also

will help you to de-stress it. In other part of the book I explain more deeply the

reason for them, make love, is an physiological necessity, not only mental, or that

they are sexual maniacs. ¡ They are not! The Dynamic Leader depends on his

personality combination, is not sensitive, but, he can "learn" to do it and love you

physically with "calm" if you tell him what is in him, example: "You remember the

passion that wake in me when we were boyfriends and we were just married? Believe

me, that he remebered all.

This topic is very deep, that are misunderstandings between sex. That,s why I´m
talking about the following topic : The Honesty:

1. We as wives, we need to understand this physical need of our husbands, due to their

sex hormones- testosterone and talk about these topics honestly with them.

2. The Dynamic Leader, seems to have a lot of these hormones.

It´s not because the other personalities do not have them, or their sexual desires are

not strong. When giving advise to women with sexual problems in their marriages, the

most frequent complaint are with women married to leader.

1. Do not have time for me, he thinks I´m frigid. I´m not.

2. I feel udes. He never kiss me or bring me time to answer.

3. At the moment the sexual act ends, he falls asleep, I feel rejected and not loved,

among other similar complaints.

Thats why in the previous pages, I explain that when you strat the love act ( sex) you
will say:

1. This night I want that you to this...

2. Call him to his job and tell him: I feel the necessity to ask you tonight to do "this,

this and this" so that I feel the greatest pleasure. I know that you are capable of doing

it. I hope my "love" hangs up the phone. Believe me, if you have never done it before,

he will be surprised.

There is a weak point in the leaders, a challenge, that he will to "want to try" if can be

capable to fulling your expectations. Teach him how to love you through his words,

guide him bringing to you the intimacy that you long. Yourself have the key so that he

arrives at your own sexual intimacy, with your hands and tender words.

Honesty
A lot of couples when are married dream to created what I called "Emotional Intimacy",

specially we the women. For that a woman who has a really "Sexually Intimacy" (not only

sex), she also needs to have (emotional closenes with her husband"). You can created the

feel of "emotional intimacy", wich is based on the trust throught the honesty in the relation

and sharing the existent feelings inside of the person. Then we describe some "love thieves"

that you need avoid.

Love Thieves

Dishonesty

An example of my own life.

Believe that the husband said to the wife is true, so that he didn´t lie. For this reason the

dishonesty, is one of the "Love Thieves" and can destroy the emotional and sexually
intimacy in a marriage. The lies are clear destroyed the trust. The dishonesty is one of the

most complicated aspects of the five "Love Thieves", because is much more damaging.

¿What happening if the true is most painful that the lie?

The disappointment like a dishonesty effect nearly destroyed literally my life. I had

seventeen years old when I met to my "Blue Prince". He was six years older than me and

recently he had returned of military service. We eet in the supermarket, he was in the

Air Force uniform; handsome and polite, he started talking to me. In those years, I was

shy and I didn´t really have a good self -esteem and self image. My father always

laughed at how I was physically, for my small waist and wide hips, still I was not obese.

Even my partners in the school made comments about my figure and this makes me feel

unhappy, but when I saw that this special man had noticed me, this definitely raised
my self- esteem. Then he followed me around the supermarket, he asked everything

about me, even my telephone number (that at first I refused to give it to him), finally I did.

We started dating and he was very attentive, thoughtful and loving.

He asked me about my life, my dreams and my future. I felt madly in love with him, who

told me that since he was twenty- four years old he was ready to settle down.

We are married after eight months. Six weeks later my Prince Charming´s love became

moldy, because this handsome, thoughtful and affectionate be locked himself in his

"own world" by staying there, althought of course he wanted sex. I got pregnant and

two months later I lost the baby. Like a new girlfriend, I thougt ¿ What am I not doing

right? ¿Why did he not communicate with me? He still wanted to have sex and I did

everything that could make him happy.

In those years where we lived, there were no bookstores, and also books to illustrate me
about marriage, or psychological abuse. When I asked my husband what was wrong, he

said : "there is nothing wrong".

At eighteen years old the depress and tears are started. There was no communication

between us, apart from asking : ¿Do we have mail or what is there for dinner?

When we visited his family, he acted normal, after returning home, he returned to his

world.

For his actions, I felt totally confused; well we lived a farce. ¿Where is the love he had

promised me before we got married? when he told me- " I love you, Marla".

My life became a nightmare. He only want sex in the nights and he was ignored me when

he got home from work. I think: If I show how I love him, he maybe change like we

started our engagement. Like his wife, let he freely love me.
I got pregnant and our son did not breathe at birth. Also Michael had a physicall illness

that doctors couldn´t explain. Other nightmares of hospitalizations began forty times

over the next six years. We did not know if he could live.

The aptitude of my husband was indifferent. In this years, to not have a perfect baby, was

like an brand. During six years, my live was insufferable. Extremely depressed, criying all

the time for fear that my son death and a husband that rejected me, except to full

his sexually needs.

Alone, in the darkness of my soul, I reflected on what could not be explained and believed

that I would be able to change it with my love. He was lying me told me that trying to

change, but I suspected that he already had an affair. Unfortunately, having stayed

with him, almost cost me my life. I was about to discover that he was a master in the art

of mental games. Life for me was over; I did not know who he was anymore. The way
that I used to be: happy, positive, animated with respect to life, had totally change. The

light in my soul had been extinguished.

His silence and rejected was much to bear him. Finally I left him and I took my son with

me. If I had not my precious baby, today I would not be here. After I left, in a few

months, he started call me, begging me to come back, and asking me forgive me him

for the way he had treated me ; but he who had to change. He seemed sincere, I came

back and I got pregnant with my daughter.

During a time around one year, was really different and he treated me like at the

beginning of our relation, fondly. Without any warning he returned to his world

again. My nightmare started again, but in this way I was pregnant and I had other son,

Marcos. My husband did not want to go to a counselor.

To make the story shorter and to help many women who will read this book; I recommend

you not stay in a relationship with a man like I did, to try to lower your value as a woman,

with insults, or silences, trying to control you emotionally and destroying your soul and

spirit. This is emotional domestic violence according to psychologists, since they treated

you as if you did not exist, or physically and verbally abused you.

I´m Not telling you to divorce immediately, to see if he search help about the " why" he

treated you in this way, but if you can stop the abuse that he is commit against you,

otherwise leave him, go and seek professional help. In this way, you will protect your

children from strong emotions in the future, or physical abuse that can help lower

their self- esteem and sense of value.

At twenty-three years old with three children under the age of six years old, one really
sick and a husband that had serious emotional problems, I seriously depressed and I

became a suicidal person. Eventually I became an outpatient of a mental institution

in appointments with a psychiastrist every week, taking antidepressants, but he can,t

remove the emotional pain, and the deep sadness that I feel or the emotional wounds of

some many years of emotional abuse of my soul and heart, married with my husband.

I want to be more clarly, I´m not against psychiastrists, they need us and helped me

when I was so depressed; but they can,t go inside of myself and remove the fear,

resentment, bitterness, sadness and the depressed; only can be covered this so damage

emotions with the antidepressants. Because I grew up in a so violent place where God

never mentioned ( only dirty words), I took my years to discover the love of God for me

and only God can heal an emotionally broken heart. The curious thing, my parents was
business persons and socially respected and accepted in the community, but in the house

our lives change to an nightmare. After five months to see the psychiastrist, the doctor

told me that want to talk with my husband, but he didn´t go and the psychiastrist told him

that if I suicide because his abuse, he, personally would call the policeman informing

them that my husband kill me, and really was saying the true. Of course that this scared

him and in a reclutant way he accompained me to the psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist asked him: ¿Why you are married with this woman?

During one hour he said, "I don´t know" I was sat down in a corner of the office crying,

while he was talking with a phsychiatrist. After a long time to ask him ¿Why you

married with this woman? My husband was so anger that screamed: "I married with her

for revenge against other woman", and I promised that when I returned to United States,

after my militar service, the first woman that I meet, I would earn her, and I would make
her suffer as I have suffered. He had planned my destruction from the beginning of the

relationship. I couldn´t believe what I heared. Crying intenselly and uncontrolly , I tried to

understand. Now I have more fear, because I knew that he wanted to kill me, but the leaders

of the church where I assist in that time, do not believe. In those years I do not talk about
domestic violence.

I don´t have the support of the leaders, whose do not not believe, that he treated me so bad

because with him, he was very friendly and cordial. He was two personalities. For

summary, I spent eight more years living this emotional and then physical violence.

Finally he left me for another woman, thank God.

I learned somethings during this time. One: In a similar situtuation to this, the opinion

of a leader does not count, because he does not live neither your children that danger.

Two: God gave to the women an "insight" gift, is like a "inner voice" trying to letting us
that "something is wrong", or that we are in "danger". Listen this voice and started to

make plans (quietly) to scape of the danger. This book is not deep about domestic

violence but to wake up us ( Like I said at the beginning of the book); because the

objective of the same is to "save marriages". But in extremely cases like mine,

where there wasn´t a really marriage, and never was,in that the man did not want help or

recieve advise. Yes, my marriage was like an "novel". I discovered that my ex husband

have emotional problems after we married (but no at the beginning), by the way that he

treated me and by the test of psychologist that show that he "hated the women".

Normally when one married, is because the two persons are really" fall in love".

I was, and look like at the beginning he also love me, otherwise I would not have

marriage. After divorce, I had to think so good about a new relationship; and do not

act so quickly, without matter the sweet words or actions of him. Some of my
thoughts was the next: All my love wasted in a man, that see in my to other woman,

not even was existed in his

mind neither his heart. Our marriage was a farce because

he never love me, because premeditated was hatched my destruction.

Get all all this rage and all hate was atrociously painful. I prefered a lier

¿With what type of monster was I married? I can´t assimilate in my fancy

How can be in good time planned the emotional death of anyone, taking to

suicide throught the physic death. What intelligent and astute was ¿ How can I

be so unsuspecting? ¿ Why did I stay for long time (sixteen years old) in this relation-

ship? ¿ Be for my children and for my religious believe? ¿How did I allow that

man to do that I bring so much love and cares, emotionally smash me?

¿How can I be so blocked to not be aware that he did not value me?
¿Why I withdarw my own soul and ignore " the intuitives warning" in my inner?

I was abandon oneself my power and essence to be, to a man that seems to be right,

but that never believe me and never love me.

¿Why I believe that I was fall in love by a man to feel me complete? ¿could I be

without the love of a man and create my own value sense, feeling complete inside of me?

All these questions turn around my mind, because my childhood taught me that a woman

feel complete, when she is married and have children. I learned, that this is not the

reality. –you Will feel complete when you "respected herself" and do not bring her love to
man that does not appreciate you. ¡ Leave him! Not bear like I bear, you can´t be forced to
love anyone. It will Always exist other person that value and esteem your love, like the man

with who I was married after almost seven years. To be honest, at the beginning I cried

so much, because my self- esteem was complete destroyed.

I did not know at that time thay God can heal the most deep of the emotional wounds
and can rebuild your self - esteem and value sense, when you are looking for.

¿What happend with my ex husband? After six weeks of the divorce, will married with

with other woman. I thanked God that he free me of the afraid because he was going

to destroy me even more.

I was divorced for almost seven years, learning about self- esteem, codependency,

emotional and physic abuse, (domestic violence) in marriage, taking time to know my

identity, (personality), likes and wishes that I lost in my childhood and in my first

marriage. I was sorry to not do it when I was young, instead of believing in the words

of a man and getting married so young.

During the years in wish I was divorced, I prayed to God, to keep me, and not to make

mistakes again, if I married. For single women who are reading this, I am going to
talk to them clearly, because it will help so much. In the seven years that I was divorced

my children wanted a real "dad" and they pressed me a lot in this sense.

Three men came in to my life in these years, with whom I thought I was going to get

married, before meeting my current husband. I went out with a man one year, with other

two years, and other even brought my wedding dress from Mexico, to get

married. I discovered that he was returning with his ex- wife when I was in Mexico for a

few weeks at different conferences. I learned that a man can enter our lives, but is NOT

necessarily the right man. ¿What was my prayer after so much pain?, "God save me", but

every time I thought I was going to marry one of them, "something" happened. God heard

prayer and finally I made a list of requirements of the man that I "needed emotionally,

physically and spiritually", that helped me so much to select the husband with whom

I am married.
Some of my writings were:

* Do not be afraid to say that you love God and you want to know him, but ( not

fanatically)

* Educated, teacher or business man (if he is a teacher, better).

* Worker, that can take care of me and my children.

* Someone who has an interest in my wishes and dreams, not only in those of him.

* That he shares his futures thoughts, feelings and dreams with me and that they are

similar to mine.

*Have a beard.

* I forget to put two important things: That has hair and money, (smile) although is

very handsome.
Make it more explicit.

* That be tender, comprehensive and romantic.

Of course that you will indicate your own requirements, but this list is only one example

and can help you to eliminate the men that are not meet this requirements, to not cause

you hurt and pain in the future. Only then you will be able to choose the right man.

Do not give yourself before the wedding, to a man who only wants to satisfy his own

physical desires, who flatters you with words of love to seduce to you and who says

he loves you. Learned to said not to his dishonest purposes. If you keep the

control of your values and self respect, not matter how many times a young man or

adult has told you that he loves you, they will respected you.

In Latin America and in Panama. where I live, a large number of girls between fifteen and

eighteen, who hoped to married and then after have children, with the men who promised
love, became pregnant,facing alone the disgrace and the raising of the baby, because

they believed in the words of love of their boyfriends. The figures vary, between the 50%

or the 70% that deal this situation, its depends on the place in Panama or Latin America

where you live. I have the newspapers and the government statistics to prove this figures.

Keep your heart and body for the true prince who respects you and who will wait

to have sex with you until after you are married.

After of most of thirty years trying to help women I´ve heard hundreds of sad stories,

regret and broken hearts, because the girl (woman) did "not tell" the boy, ( or man) that

wait this moment, if he really loves her. As a real test, you will know if he really loves you,

when he shows you his love with a ring and an marriage proposal. I know that the passion

can be great, but you are the one that is going to be embarrassed, if you get pregnant and
you can only face the scandal.

Keep the control of your emotions and hormones, do not let a man deceive you with sweet

words and understand that if you allow your requests, it will make him lose the interest of

getting married, because easily he achieved what he wanted.

Some men express their wish to get married with a "virgin" woman, but unfortunately,

with his tricks, they do not care about the girls or women who destroying, while they decide

to get married. I wanted to quote the newspaper "free criticism" of november 3, 2008:

"The problem is worrying: In America and Caribbean an high percent of young between

fifteen and twenty years old, are mothers, wich contributes to perpetuate the vicious circle

of debarment, poornes and inequality. Panama does not escape this realty, like other

countries. Its situation is most worrying, as to the cases of HIV/ AIDS, that are

represent most of the 50% of the deaths, in the persons between fifteen and nineteen
years old. To be honest, this figures surprised me.

A young girl (or woman) can say “NO” after we get married I will give you love

(sex) and you want". Take the test and if he continues with the relationship, check that he

loves you.

If you answer my suggestions, you will get rid of a lot of pain and you will be able to

sleep every night in PEACE without remorse.

Save your soul, body and respect. Yes, I told you this with frankness, because you don´t

know with how many girls or woman he has had sex before you. Women never think

they are going to get HIV or get pregnant. Neither think those beautiful youngs and

innocent, since they have passed away here in Panama. I know that when in love, is

difficult not to turn herself when are dating.

Althougt, if you do not wait, the consequences can be disastrous to you. Get married and do
not wait until the house is bought and everything is perfect. I mean to the cases of a long

courtship and if you have the security of that this is the man whose you will get in

marriage by the rest of your live.

To the mother that have yet her daughters in house, we suggested to talk with them about

the risk that carry have sex out of marriage. Already in another part of the book I indicate

that I am not religious, but a woman of faith, wich is a big difference. Throught the years

I listen stories of hundreds of women whose lives are shattered by the lies of men, as

most of them want that the woman "bring her love test", and to get

pregnant and leave after.

I have a friend that have a farm and she told me : "Why bought the cow, if you can have

free milk".
Stay in control and do not let a man deceive you. Try to control you emotions and

(hormones) with his sweet words. Now I understand, why God establish the act of

marriage, and was to protect the woman of all suffering that are suffer millions of

them, worldwide; not only of a pregnancy but also of several sex disseases.

¡ I want to be honest here! I am not against of honest men, but of those who"know"

are cheating, because his only intention is satisfy his sexual need. there exists good men

that really love and get married, I only try to warn you.

Alway remember that "your life" count and value. Put a high cost to your love and

search to attract to a mature man and most emotionally healthy, that can be appreciate

this value, not only the physic and get married with you for whom he had to struggle to

win the "prizze" YOU. To men are like "captivate" to woman that are not deliver easily.

Do not be afraid, that you won´t lose a man, if he won´t live under your conditions.
If you have single friends, nieces or daughters, shared this part of the book with them. If they
are

not virgin and do not have children, don´t said your pass. The men can use this "against

you" and see easy to cheat. Ask God for forgiveness and "yourself" to fall into the "cheat

trap", and start again. If you have children and you are young, some men will think that

likewise you will be easy to gain. Said to him at the beginning, when one try to be "lover",

that you were cheated before, but you will not let for a second time, because you want that

be treated with respected, and "if not, bye".

One time I will decide to not let the believes inculcated by my mother dominate my

thoughts, to stay or continue with a man (like my ex- husband) , abusive emotional and

physically (like my father) I realized, wich can be the really love.

I asked God to heal my wounded heart and my life. A friend give me the explanation of
love that she found in the Bible in 1 of Corinthians 13:8 specially the verses of 4 to 8:

"The love is suffered, is mild; the love not have jealousy; the love is not boastful, does not

get puffed up, does not do anything wrong, not search yours, not get irritated, not hold

a grudge (like my ex- husband), not enjoy injustice, most enjoy of the true.

Everything suffered, all believe, all wait, all bear. The love never stops being".

An "emotionally normal" person, will understand the deep of those verses;

I mean we should not be selfish,haughty or decitful; if not honest and honest in our

relationship. "Everything sufferes", does not mean that women suffered physic

or emotionally and allow to be abused. Example: like in the case that you experience

injustice working, when a workmate give a salary increade and you do not.

The verse is not talking about an abusive marriage.

I feel that I offered this kind of love to my husband, and I expected to recieve the same,

but my feelings were fully rejecte, because he was living with the ghost of his past, being
friend.

Do not let someone else destroy your life. You can love again, like I discovered, althought

my experience with the disappointment and the dishonesty, it was the most extreme.

Believe me, there are many women that are discovered the infidelity of their husbands and

they have leave, show them that the honesty and the trust are the really base of a

marriage.

Once that trust and the faith that you have had in your couple, has been destroyed like a

crystal, it is very difficult restore it again. With the help of God, advices and undestanding

of the differences in the needs and with the love bank concept, ( if both implement it), can

treat, but the emotional destruction of the wife (or husband) could be need a great amount
of time to heal wounds.

When in the couple´s relationship, the wife and the husband are not supplying the needs of

the other, this can opened the doors to an adventure. Do not leave the door open to

any love affair, work together to rebuild the relationship, having your couple tell you what

are his emotional and physic needs, and then beggining to fulling , each other. In case to

do not know what is an emotional need, to help you to identify, I bring you some

examples:

We all know that the air, the food, the water or the heat when is cold, are physic needs to

live.

For the woman, for emotionally survive, we required the needs like feel love, accepted,

and that are recognized the value of each one.

The psychologists tell us that a baby need to be touched, hugged to feel

love and knowledge and healthy trust, self- esteem, and value. An emotional need,

is a feeling that we want to be feel good,, happy and in peace inside.

When a need is NOT, fulling, we are feel frustraded, sad and rejected. Internally we think

that "our husband does not love us like he used to"; maybe is because does not show attention,

neither hug daily like before, or because spend more time with his friends, and you want

that him dedicate you more time with you and family,specially for the woman, is the

"communication" with her husband to created emotional and sexually intimacy. A big

complaint from the wives is : He does not talk to me like he used to.

Then because we are adults, do not eliminate the need to be touched, huged, or said words

of affirmations of love; to help to create this nearness from one to the other. Also this is

a great emotional need of the woman, that the husband spend more time with his children
and that help him in the knowledge of them daily. Not need be a large time, maybe half an

hour, helping with the homework of one of the kids, bathe, or reading an story before he

goes to sleep. The father has a great influence over his children. I know that there are

thousands of emotional needs, I just wanted to mention some of the ones that wives often

complain about. Of course that your husband will have some of the needs already

described, because they haven´t also been long touched and huged; but equally feel others

emotional needs, like peace when enter to the house, after work all day.

Ask him what his needs are in particular and will appreciate the surprise in his face.

If he does not answer, give time to think and suggest him to write a list. Generally

men do not know wich are, because nobody ask before, or maybe very few

know. After he expresses or writes, the woman must start to respond the first needs that he
mentioned. Ask yourself: ¿ I full this needs "before"? If not, start to do it, just like you used
to do it when were engagedt; and conserve your relationship, primarily your marriage.

That way you will "loved" and avoid an adventure outside of your marriage, in the

future.

In case of that one of both had a love affair, it is important to give time for the failure, try to

rebuild the relationship and trust that did not exist. This will not be easy, but I listened to

millions of couples over the years, that were living similar experiences to mentioned and

not only achieve keep the marriage, but they also fall in love again, when they put in practice

the information of this book.

Althought the infidelity is like a crime

against the relationship, is difficult to have again

an intimacy relation with an spouse that had violate the most sacred vows of marriage.
With the help of God and the forgiveness, the relation with your couple can be restore

and the restablish sexually relation on time. This will depends of the will of both to get

professional help for both, and putting in practice the suggestions of this book. In this

way will avoid an adventure in the future. Only God can cure a deep wound and

bring the force to forgive your couple and start to full his needs.

¡Search! God will help you. When again you have the communication with your husband,

search a quiet and calmed time, and ask him the cause of the love affair like that you

can understand and avoid this type of situations in the future. Many times a love affair

start when trying to help a person that have problems. Women do not ask advice

or opinion to your husbands about a problem of your friend, because could involved

mentally or emotionally and the consequences can be disastrous, like a history

that I will share with you later.

Again, deposit love units in a cout in bankruptcy, that maybe was closed for months or

years.

Take an important deccision to talk your couple with the true. Even if you considerate

like "little white lies" like buy something that your couple not approve or spend most

money of that you said that you will spend, because for example, are saving, to buy

an house or car. This lies can be destructives like are discover. Your actions can be reveal

dishonesty because you know the wishes of your husband and the limit that he said that

you can spend ( if you have a husband like this); specially if you are not working

outside the house. It was the cause that you work, and see something in offer or have the

free to buy something that you need, my point is never to hide our actions to your husband,

that know that he can anger. This does not mean that you need to bring a of all your actions
that you do during the day. It´s important that both have own money for that
in this way it does not affect the budget. The husban can provide money to his wife, for that

she does not always ask for it, not matter if she work or not. This is fair because she care the

house, the children, administrate the house that for he is an paradise and refuge where

can rest. If she also work, of course that he can help her in the house and with

children. I treated this topic in other chapter of the book.

When you closed the door to the five " love thiefs"and putting in practice that I write, you

can achieve the marriage or relationship most loving,excited and passionated with

both dreamed when get married.

The Dr. Harley was since a 2% and 3% to 75% and 80% of succes, to help the couples

that were nearly to get divorce, achieve to fall in love again together, when the bank

of love was put in practice in the lives of them. Outside of my personal experience, I will
describe other of my best friend, in how the Love Bank concept save a marriage completely
destroyed; I hope that this testimony convinced you, althought some situations will be
difficults to believe because I was doubt about those, believe me I am citizing "all" such as
happened.