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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

  “Trythe dungeon on the third noorj' l said・

  “You must be thirsty from all that running," Michad said/‘Have

some juicど

  “No time R)r that,リillsaidyTve got to find lack." And then she ran

out ofthe dassroom.

  ARer lunch we were at recess out in the Playground when we noticed

somebody sitting at 仕1eedge of the grass under a tree. We a11ran over to

investigate. lt was Mrs・ RooPyバ)F course, dressed uP in another sillycos-


“ATe you Liu:leBO PeeP again?" Emily asked.

“Heavens, no!" said Mrs・ RooPyジ‘My name is LittleMiss Mufkt・ lt'sa

lovely day,so l thought Fd just sit on this tu面t and eat some curds and


  “What's a tuflet?" l asked, trying to Peek under Miss Mun浪.

  “What'sa curd?" asked Ryan.

  “Yuckj'Michad saidバCurds sound disgusting!"

  “Fm going to throw uP," Ryan saidバThat'seven'worsethan what they

seTve in the ca裕teTia!"
  “Wouldn'tyou rather have a Peanut butter and jeny sandwich?" I
  Andrea and Emily canle overwhile we were talking with LittleMiss
MulRt. Andrea started to tellus what curds and whey and tum?ts were,
but she nevergot to finish. This obviousTly nlke sPideでrcanle down from

the tree over Miss MufFet's head. She took one look at it and ran back to

school. Michael didn't even have the chance to get her fLngeTPrints.

  That lady is weird.

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

 一 ■

  lt went on like that R)r the rest of the week. AIl these nuでrsery rhyme

characteTs kePt Tpopping uP with no waming all over the school.

  “Whoareyou now?" we would ask.

  “I'm an old woman in a shoe. l have so nlany children l don't know

whatto do."

  “Maybe you should Put some of them in the dungeon on the third

noor,"l said.

  ln the next fi!w days we were visited by Wee Wmie Winkie, Georgie

Porgie, Tommy Tucker, SimPle Simon, Peter Peter PumTPkin Eaterj and

some guy named lack who keTPt jumping over a candlestick for no reason

at aII.l guess it was the samoack that giruill was looking R〕r.

  ltwas nonstop all week! l can't say fi)rsure,but Fm Pretty sure at least

some ofthosenuTsery-rhyme charaders were actually Mrs・ Roopy・

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

M rs. RooPy゛s Problem

Something was wrong with And7rea. She wasn't raising her hand in dass

everysecond. She wasn't bragging to everybody how much she knew

about everything. She wasn't Pestering me like she usually didJt was like

she was sicTk:orsomething。

  “What'sthe matter, Andrea?" Emily asked her during recess.


、●4 1●

“I'm worried about Mrs・ RooPドAndTea said.“Fm afraid she might

have a seTious Personal problem.”

  “You’rethe one with the serious Personal problem,” l said.“Mrs.

RooPy is like the coolest lady in the history ofthe world. Would you Tather

have some boring librarian who didn't dress up in costumes oTanything

and allshe did was read boring books to us?”

  “No,but my motheT is a Psychologist,”Andrea saidバ She told me that

some sick People have more than one personality. Like one minute they

think they are onepeでrson,and a minute latel they actually think they are

somebody comPletdy di辰rent. The whole time they actuany think they

areall these peoPle・ I'm aFraid that Mrs. Roopy might have this problem・

Shecan't ten the di良rencebetween the real world and filntasy

  “Wow," Michael saidバThat sounds Pretty seでrious."

  “We'vegot to helP her!" Emily said.

  “Yeah,"l saidバA librarian who doesn't know the difliren(:ebetween

nction and nonfi(:tionis in big trouble.'j

  “Butwhat can we do?" Ryan asked.

  We aII Put on our thinking caPs. Well, not really.There's no such

thing as a thinking caP. But you know what l mean.

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs. Roopy ls Loopy!

AIFtera goodlmg think, l came uP with a great plan・

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The Evidence

There were five minutes leftin recess. Ryan,Michael, Andrea, Emily, and

l sneaked in from the Tplayground through the door to the library・

  “Shhhhh!” l said as we tiptoed into the libraTyバFOIlow me.”

  Lucky for usバhe library was emTpty. MTs. Roopy was Probably eating

lunch in the teachers' room.

  0nourhands and knees, we made our Nvay Past the nonfidion books

to Mrs. RooPy's o伍ce. The doorxvas unlocked. l oTpeでned


  “We're going to get caught," Emily saidバWe're going to be kicked out

of sdool and thrown in jan for the rest of ouT lives."

  “ln heでrej'l said,ignoring Emilyン‘This is wheTe we'n fLnd the evi-


  We were inside Mrs. RooPy's o伍ce. l wanted to tum the light on, but

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs. Roopy ls Loopy!

Michael told me that when his lther is doing a secTet investigation,he

never tums the lights on. We tried to see the best we could with the light

that came in through the window.

  “Doyou seeany evidence?" Mi(:hael said.


  ltwas just a bunch of boring stufE PictuJes of Mrs. RooPy's daughter・

PaPers. videosjunk. No evidence at a11.

“Let's get out of here," Emi抄saidバTm scared."

“Not yetグl said.

  Therevvas adoset by the comer. I Pulled the handleJt wasn't locked.

  And there,inside the doset, was allthe e・vidence we would ever need.

George Washington's uniform. Little BO PeeP's dress・ J'ohnny APPle-

seed's overalls. NeiI Armstrong's spacesuit. Every single costume Mrs・

Roopy had been wearing was hanging Tight there in the doset.

  “Thisis the proof!" Michael said. 7AIl those TPeoPle weでrejust Mrs.

RooPy dressed uP in costumes."

told you soj' said AndTea.

  “Youdid not!" l said.

  “Didtoo!j'she said.

  “Oh,you think you kno11¥everything!" l said.“WeII, you're not so


  Thatjs when the light nicked on・ lt was Mrs. RooPy, standing in the

dooTway looking at us.

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   ︱ ・


  “Whatブsthe meaning oF thisy' she asked. She had heThands on her

hiPs,so we knew she was mad. For some reason・ grown'uPs a1`゛ays

theirhands on theiThiPs when they are mad

“l had nothing to do with it!”Andrea said.“lt was aII A,I.jsidea!j’

Everybody was looking at me. l had to think fast. l didn’t want to

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sPend the rest ofmy lifein jail.

  lgrabbed George Washingtonjs un面rm out of the doset.

  “What's the meaning o£・.匝is?"

l said,holding uP the costumeパYou

told us you vverehome sicTkin bed and George Washington was here in-

stead of you. How do you exTplain the fact that George Washington's uni-

form is in yourdoset? Huh?"

  We alltumed to look at Mrs. RooPy・

  She just stood there for a moment and then…she broke down crying・

Shevvassobbing and big teaでrs

were running down her was so sad

that we allgathered around her and gave her a hug・ Emily was crying too.

  “Thisis ho 「ble!'jMrs. Roopy said, wiPing heTeyes with a tissue.

be okay, Mrs. Roopy," AndTea said.“We'Il get you soTneheITp."

it'shorrible!j'Mrs. RooPy criedバGeo7rge Washington must have

len his uniform in my doset when he was heTe. Do you know what this


means GeoでrgeWashington is runでningaround somewhere with no

dothes on!"

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U My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs. Roopy ls Loopy!

just Admit lt!

lt was no use. Even aner ゛e pro゛ed to Mrs. RooTpy that she was dressing

up as allthese characters,she stin wouldn't admit it.

  “Mrs.RooPy is in denial," Andrea said when we got back to the dass-

roomバI'ITrbet you don't know what that means, A・1,"

“SuTrel know what‘deniaP meanぐl saidバlt'sthat river in Africa."

“Not the Nile,dumbhead! Denial! lt means she can't admit to herself

that she has a Problemグ

  “SowhataTe we suPPosed to do nowy' Michad asked.

  “There'sonTLyone thing we cando,"Andrea saidバ゛We've got o teII Mr.


  Mr. Klutz is the prindpal ,which means he is like the king of the

school.0ne time l got into trouble and was sent to Mr. Klutz's o拓ce.

When l got there,he didn't Tpunish me. He pve nle a candy bar. ME

Klutz is nuts!

  We told Miss Daisy that we had to speak with Mr. Klutz and that it

was a matter oFli&and.death.She called the ofFice and in a few minutes

Mr.Klutz arrived.

  Mr. Klutz has no haiTat a11.We told him all about the crazy things

Mrs. Roopy had been doing and how Aでndrea'smother is a psychologist

and she thinks Mrs. Roopy might have a big problem.

  “We'rereally worried about herj' Emily said.

  “Hmmm,thissounds pretty seTiousj' Mr, Klutz said.“Maybe we'd

betteTgo have a littlechat with Mrs. Roopy."

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  Mr. Klutz led us down the hall to the library. When we got there, Mrs。

RooPy was lyjng on the noor undeTthe tree house. She was holding her

head like it had been hit. Not only that,but Mrs・ RooPy was reaHy 仙

looked like she had gained about a million hundred Pounds!



l l- ●







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My Wei rd Schoo1#3 Mrs.Roo
pyls Loopy

“What haPPened, Mrs Roopy?'j Michael askedバAle you okay?”

 “Mrs Roopy? Who's that?" Mrs RooPy said.“ My name is HumPty

DumP昨・ ・WaS sitting On that wa11 uP there,and l had a great fa11.”

“Don’t e11 nle,” Andrea saidバA11 the king shoTses and all the king's
nlen couldn't Putyou back together agaln. Right?”

How did

you ”Mrs. RooPy asked.

“You're not HumPty DumPty! ”AndTrea said.“You’re Mrs. RooPy, OUr


librarian! admit


matter who 1S ,”Mr,Klutz saidバThere has been an ln・


need and
lury・ wrlte a rePort glve to the Board of Education.”


“You Can glve me

told Mr. KlutzyTm bored of education

E゛erybodylaughed even
 though l didn't say anythingfunny・ Mr,


幻utz said he had to go call a doctor

fi)rHumPty DumPty・ Mrs. RooPy
the nooTand dusted hersdF o圧

“Wait a minute,”l said “l have a question.”


“Yes ,A.J ”asked Mrs Roopy・

“Your nanle
is HumTpty DumPty, r ̄ight?”

“What l want to know is, why did nanle you HumP回

your PaTents
if their last could have named
nlean, narne Wa
s alreadyDumPtyjhey you

lohn o「 Jim O「 Oe O「
something normal.But they had to go and nanle

“We11, actuany, Humpty is just my nickname,” Mrs. RooPy said “My
rea1 nanle ishlmpy.”

LumPy DumPty? 『:sa祉.

“Yes,”said Mrs RooPy/‘So you Can See why Fd ratheドbe called


Andrea IWaS
gettmg a11
angry noxv. Mrs RooPy M/as
simPly not gomg


admitshe HumPty Dumpty,

“Nursery Rhyme Weekis Over, Mrs. Roopy!” Andrea said.“You Can be

yoursdE You Can

stoP Pretending to be otheT TpeoPle.”
you 1ike nursery
rhymes? ”asked Mrs Roopy・

“Su]7el do,”Andrea said “But enough is enough!”

“l hate nuTseTy rhymes!'j l said. “NuTsery rhymes are

dumb. 'm sick

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

ofnursery rhymes. Nursery rhynles aでreboring・"

  HumPty, l mean, Mrs. RooPyjooked hurt.

  “Everything is boring to you, A・J・j' she said sadlyバI've tried so haTd

not to boTe you. Please. Tell me. What is not boring to you?"

  I Put on my thinking cap (wel1,not really)and tried Teal hard to think

of something that wasn't boring・

  “Trickbikeぐl saidバTrick bikes aren't 1)oring."

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs. Roopy ls Loopy!


The Proof

lt was the middle of our 岨emoonsnack time.l traded my Pretzd sticks

with Ryan for his cuP OF cho(:olatePudding.Suddenly l heald somebody
yelling down the hallway・
“Watch out! Coming through! Out of the way!”

  “lwonder what that could be,”said Miss Daisy・

  The yemng got louder. Everybody in the dass tumed aTound just in

time to see somebody ride into our dassroom on a trick bike,

  lt was Mrs. RooPy! She was wearing sunglasses, knee Pads, elbow

Padsj and a noPTpy black T・shiでrtthat said “BikeTs 4 Books.” She had

combed he7r hair to make it sti(:k

uTp all spiky・

  “Hey, dudes!” she said as she skidded to a stoTp right in front of my

desk.“l just landed an alweso17nely tweaked tarlwhiP with a Supeでrman seat

grab t{}a
toothPicTk:lgrind.You should have seen it!lt was really sick!”




_・_  。  |
   ……………  ・゛こI゛'!

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  Eve2rybody Put down their snacks and gathered around my desk to

look at Mrs. RooTpy's cool bike.

  “ldidn't know you knew so much about trick biking, Mrs. RooPy,j' I


  “I'm not Mrs. Roopy," Mrs. Roopy said/Tm a PTofi?ssional trick


  “Youare not!" we allhollered.“You're Mrs. RoopyにhelrbrarianP'

  “Am not!"


certainlylooks like a trickbiker to me," said Miss Daisy・

  That's when l came uP with the most genius idea in the history of the

woTld・ Mrs. RooP粕ltattoo! I remembered that she had a picture of a heart

on heTbelly button!

  “You'reMrs. RooPyj" l said, grabbing the bottom ofher T・shirt,

“and l

can prove itP'

  “Oh,stoP that!j'Mでrs.RooPy giggled.“I'm ticklish!"

  When l yanked at her shirt,three books fellout, 0ne of tThem hit my

snad on my desk・ The cuP of chocolate Pudding went Hying. lt sPlashed

alloverMrs. RooPy's tummy lt almost covered uP the tattoo oF a heart,

but we could stm see it.

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

MTs. RooTpy!”Michael shouted. “The Tproofis in the Pudding!”

“Hey!” Ryan shoutedバCheck out these books!” Ryan Picked up the

books that had droPPed on the Hoor.They were books about trick biking!

One or the books showed how to do tricks,and the other two were about

famous trick bikers. Coo1!

  “ldidn't know they made books about trick  ̄biTking

,"Ryan said.

  “Sothat'show you know so much about trick biking,Mrs. RooPy!" I


  “ldon't know what you're talking about," Mrs. RooPy saidバTm a Pro-

f6sional trickbiker."

  “Canl check these books out of the libTary?'Jasked Michad.

  “No,l get them fLrstj'Ryan said.

  “Hey∠[was the one who R]und them," l said.

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

MTs. RooTpy!”Michael shouted. “The Tproofis in the Pudding!”

“Hey!” Ryan shoutedバCheck out these books!” Ryan Picked up the

books that had droPPed on the Hoor.They were books about trick biking!

One or the books showed how to do tricks,and the other two were about

famous trick bikers. Coo1!

  “ldidn't know they made books about trick  ̄biTking

,"Ryan said.

  “Sothat'show you know so much about trick biking,Mrs. RooPy!" I


  “ldon't know what you're talking about," Mrs. RooPy saidバTm a Pro-

f6sional trickbiker."

  “Canl check these books out of the libTary?'Jasked Michad.

  “No,l get them fLrstj'Ryan said.

  “Hey∠[was the one who R]und them," l said.

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

  Miss Daisy grabbed all the booTks.

  “Gee,l don't know; A・1・," she said.“You said that reading was boring,

so you Probably wouldnjt want to read these books・"

  “Yesl would!" l shoutedバ‘Pleeeeease?"

  “We11,0kay," Miss Daisy said as she handed each of us oneofthe trick

bike books. “But if you don't bring these back on time, Mrs. RooPy is

going to lock you in the dungeon on the third noor."

  We alllooked at Mrs. RooTpy・

  “Laterjdudes!" she said. And with that, Mrs. Roopy went Pedaling out

into the hallway,

  l fiel soTTyR)r Mrs. Roopy. She is the looPiest liTbrarian Fve ever rnetl

think she's got a big Pでroblem. We're going to do all we can to heIP her・

But it woでn'tbe easy・

 | ¶,




t ・・


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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs. Roopy ls Loopy!

About the Author and the lllustrator

DAN GUTMAN has written many weild booTksforkids. Dan livesin New
Jersey(a very weird Place)with his weiTdw面and two weird children.
You can visithim on his weird website

IIM PAILLOT is a talented but weird illustratorwho nves in Arizona. He

also has a weird wife and two weird children. lsn't that weird? You can

visithim on his weird website at www・

visitwwwAuthoTTrackeT.com柘r exdusive informationonyouTfllvoTite


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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!


Cover artO 2oo4 by Jim Pjllot.

CoverO 2oo4 by HarPeTComns PuTblishers


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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs. Roopy ls Loopy!

Dan Gutm,an ・ゝ


Pletur・s by Jim Paillot

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs. Roopy ls Loopy!

That Army Guy

My name is A・1. and l hate school。

  IF you ask me/they shouldn't tea(:h kids how to read and write in

school. They shouldn't teach math. They should teach kids how to do

tricks on their biTk:es,

That's what l want to leam! But my teacherj Miss

Daisy, thinks reading and writing and math are reallyimPortant for some

  Miss Daisy told us to write a story for homewoTk and draw a picture to

go with it.We read the stories out loud the next day in dass・

  Andrea Young, who thinks she knoxvs everythingj made uP a story

about a fam蒔ofnowers who NveTre sadbecause it was doudy outside.

Then t]hesun came out and the nolweTrsgot haPPy again。

  ltwas a really dumb stoTyjf you ask me・ Flowers aren't haPPy or sad.

They just sit there and do nothing. They don't e゛en have fammes! But

Miss Daisy kePt tdling Andrea how gTeat the storyNvas.

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!



一 ︲︲

,j III■㎜㎜ │目







My story was about these giant man-eating monsters fighting on tTick

bikes in outel space until they were all dead. l drew cool pictuTes to go

with it. Emilyにhis gi11`゛ithred hair, said my story xvas scary. But Emily

thinks everything is scaTy・

  Miss Daisy said l had a good im昭ination, but she asked me ifnext

time l could try to write a story that didn't have so nluch violence in it.

  “What's violent about giant man-eating monsteTs fighting on trick

bikes in outer sPace?" l asked. Everybody laughed eventhough l didn't

say anything filnny・

  Andrea said maybe l could ha゛e the man-eating monsters make uP at

the end ofthe story and telleach other theyvvere soTry・

  “Monsters don't aPologize!" l said. EveTybody knows that. Andrea

doesn't know any ̄thingabout monsters.

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一f  、


一 ﹂■

: dS
! 91




-I −づi

  Wex¥ere arguing about it when all of a sudden soTne 伍nny-looking

guy marched into ouT dassToom. He was an dressed uP in a 仙n(:yarmy

uniform. He had a white wig on his head and a sword in his hand.

  “Tobe preTPared for war is the best way to keeP the Peace!" the army

guy said・ Then he marched out ofthe dassroom.

  “Who was that?" asked my friend Michael, who neveTties his shoes

no matter how many times he triPs over lhe laces・

  “Beatsmej' l said.

  “Was that Prindpa1 Klutz?" asked my other friend Ryan, who sitsnext

to me in the third row.

  “ldon't know who it was," Miss Daisy saidバbut he is heading for the

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

1ibrary. WeU better go check it out! Okay, second graders. Single File!”

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

The Librarian

Michael was the line leadeT. Andrea was the door holder. We went to the

library, which is brand-new and didn't even exist last year when we were

in first grade. They built it over the summer to replace the junky old li-

brary we used to have.

  A library is the Tpartin the school where they have hundreds of books

that you can bring home with you. You don't even have to Pay for them.

And it'snot even illegal! The only Tproblem is you have to bring the books

back aRer you're done reading them.

  My丘iend Billy arouでnd the comer, who was in second grade last year,

told me that ifyou don't bring back your library books on time, the nbrar-

ian locks you in a dungeon under the school. I'm not sure l believe him.

  “Our new librarian is Mrs・ Roopyj' Miss Daisy told us as vve lined up

in the hallway outside the library.“Everybody be on your best behavior so

you'11 make a good imPression on her・"

  “I'malways on my best behavior," said AndTea Young. She made a big

dopey smile at Miss Daisy. Andrea is so annoying. lf somebody told her

to be on her woTst behavioでr,she wouldn't know what to do.

  When we went into the new library,we's¥ere shocked. Right in the

middle of the roonl was a giant tree! lt had a big tree houseat the top near

the ceiling and a ladder going up to it.

  “What's with the tree?" l asked.

  “Beats me," said Ryan. “How do you think they got it into the libTaryy'

  “Maybe it just gTew in here over the summeTj' guessed Michael.

  “Tlees don't grow in libraries," said Andrea, as if she knows anything

about trees.

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

  “They must have buih it,勺aid Emily・

  “You don't build trees,dumbheadj' l told Emi枇and she looked a11

hurt like she was going to cry・

  The tree was really coo1. Some oF us started to dimb it,but Miss Daisy

said we had to get o圧because it was time R)rlibrary Period to staTt.

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1 al︱





  “Whe 「s the new m}rarian?" Ryan asked. We lwereaU looking aでround,

but we didn't see Mrs. RooTpy anywhere・

  Then, suddenlyj that aTmy guy with the wig poked his head out of the

tree house. He came down the ladder,l think it was a he,anyway. He

looked a littlelike a lady dressed like an arnly guy・

  When he got to the bottom, the army guy with the wig stood aII

straight and proud at attention・ He gave usasalute.

  “ATeyou Mrs. RooPy?" l asked.

  “Certainlynot," the army guy said.“My name is George Washington・

l am the firstPresident ofthe united States and father ofour country.'j

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

George Washington゛s Teeth

I'm no dumbhead. My mom told me that George Washington had wood-

en teeth. So this army guy with the wig couldn't be GeoTge Washington

unless he had wooden teeth.

youjre reany George Washington, 1et'sseeyouでr teeth,"l said,The

army guy with the wig reached into his Pocket and pulled out a set of

teeth. Then he wound a littlething on it and the teeth started chattering

up and down in his hand.

  Emily took one look at the teeth and ran out of the roornc削ng, That

girl cries at anything

  “Wow!" l said.“Maybe he is George Washington. Those teeth are cool!

l wish l had wooden teeth."

  “You can't fool me," Andrea Young saidパYou're not George Wash'

ington. You're Mrs・ RooPy, the new m)rarian, dressed uP to look like
George Washington/You're suPPosed to read stories to us and heIP us

use the computers."

  “Computers?" George Washington said,his forehead an wlrinkly/‘I

don't know what you're talking about, young lady. This is the year lフ9o・

ComPuters haven't been invented yet."

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i ゝ`



  No matter what we said,the army guy with the wiLinsisted that he

was really George Washington. He read us a story about when he xvas a

boy and he choPPed downacheでrry tree. Then he showed us a bunch oF

books about the united States. A11 through hbrary Period,the army guy

with t]hewig said that he was George Washington. Aner a while,we staTt-

ed camng him GeoTge Washington。

  “Generj Washingtonj' l asked/‘may l go to the bathroom?" Every-

body laughed even though l didn't say anytThing funny. Kids think any-

thing to do with bathTooms is funny. lf you want to make your hiends

laugh, all you have to do is stick your face in their face and say either

“bathroo 「'or “underwear." lt works every time。

  “Fm sorry," George Washington saidバThis is the year lフ9o. BatTh-

rooms have not been invented yetグ

  ltwasn't an emergency or any ̄thing,

so l waited. We lweTe allowed to

check out any book we wanted from the library,

l took out a book about


卵hter Planes because it had (:oo1 Pictures in it.

  For a President,this George Washington guy seemed to know a lot

about Rnding books in the libraryand checking them out.

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  ltwas time to go to lunch・ We an had to salute GeoTge Washington as

we len:the library・

  “Hey,how come you choPped down that cherry tree,anyhow?j’ l asked

him as we leR the library.

  “lcannot ten a lie,”he saidパl needed some wood foでrmy wooden

teeth.”Then he showed us his chattering teeth again. ljm stillnot sure if

that aTmy guy with the wig was George Washington oでr
not. But he was


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l took a seat in the lunchroom next to Ryan and Michael. Ryan stuck two

of my carrot sticksin his nose, and l told him IU がve him a nickd iF he

ate them. He did,too.MeJwon'teven eat carrot sticks bφ??you stick

them in your nose。

  “Doyou think that guy was rea1秒GeoTge Washington?" Ryan asked.

  “ldon't knowj' Michael said.“What do you think, A.J.?"

  Thatjs when Andrea Young leaned over from the next table and

oTpened heでrbig mouth.

  “Thatwasn't George Washington, you dumb heads! j'she saidバThat

was Mrs. RooPy wearing a Powdered wig and an army unifoTm."

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  She may have been Tight, but l didn't want to adこmitit,because l hate

her. Ryan took out a dollar bill丘om his backpaどk and looked at the Pi(:-

ture of George Washington.

  “He sure looked like GeoでrgeWashington," Ryan said.

  “George Washington has been dead for like a hundred years!" Andrea


  “Evenif George Washington was stm ahve," Em尚said/TmsuTehe

wouTLd have moでreimPortant things to do than conle to our school and

read us storieで

  That's when it hit me. IF that army guy was really Mrs. RooPy dressed

uP as George Washington, maybe Mrs. RooPy im't a librarian at a11!

  “Maybe she's just Pretending to be a nbTarian," l said/‘justlike she

was Pretending to  ̄beGeorge Washington."

  “Yeah!"Michael said-バMaybe she's a kidnaPPer and shどs got our rea1

1ibrarian locked uP in an emPty warehouseat the edge of town. l saw that

in a movie once.”

  “Wej゛egot to save her!” EmUy said with tears dribbling down her

cheeks. Then she went running out ofthe roorn.

  There`was only one way to solve the problem. We deaned o仔our trays

and went back to our dassroom to ask Miss Daisy if George Washington

was really Mrs, Roopy in disguise.

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  “Don'tbe silly,"Miss Daisy saidバAs it tums out,Mrs・ RooPy is ab-

sent today・ She's home sick in bed・ lt must have been the rea1 GeoTge


  But what does Miss Daisy know? Everybody knows Miss Daisy is


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M rs. RooPy゛s Hero

Everybody in our dass lwasexcited before the next library Period. We a11

wanted to see if George Washington would be there again.

  When we got to the library,there 'was just this lady who looked a tle

bitlike George Washington excePt she didn't ha゛e on an aTnly unif()rm or

a wig. She looked like a norrnal lady・

  “Goodmoming, second gradersy 一死sdd. “My name is Mrs. RooPy・

I'm sorryl couldn't be here the other day fbr your library period.'j

  “Butyouvverehere!" Ryan shouted.

  “Youmust be mistaken,j' Mrs. Roopy said.“l was home sick in bed.'j

  “Canw'e seeyour'wooden teeth again?" Michael asked.

  “Yeah,can vve?"

  “Wooden teeth? Did you know that George Washington didnjt have

wooden teeth at aII?His mouth was filledwith cow's teeth."

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  “Ewww!" we allshouted.

  lasked Mrs. RooPyド‘Did the cow have GeoTge Washington's teeth in


  “Butthat was you, wasn't it,adng like George Washingtony' said


  Mrs. RooTPダsR)rehead got allwrinkly just like George Washington's

did when we told him about comPutersバl don't know what you'Te talking


  We a111ooked at one anothen l wasn't sure iF she was temng the truth
or not.

“lfl weTe GeoTge WasThington, would l have this?”Mrs. RooPy

  “‘¨`-‘`゛`‘`゛`’‘b`’¨`““b゛“り”゛゛゛゛゛゛゛`7`’““`“ `「゛゛゛I゛`゛`゛r/“−−’
Then she Picked uP her shirt and showed us her belly. She had a little tat-

too oFa heart right o゛erher be聊button. lt was coo1.

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ニ |
 C ●


  l had to admit that George Washington ゛ould neverhave a heart-

shaPed tattoo oveThis be1抄button. So maybe that army guy with the wig

wasn't Mrs. RooPy aReTa11。

  “Letme show you around the libTary," Mrs. RooPy saidy‘Did you

know出at books can take you to Places you have neverbeen before? They

he1P us exPlore our lvorld.We have books here on just about every sub-

ject you can think oE This is the Fiction section. Does anyone know the

di拓ごrencebetween fiction and nonnction books?”

  “Nonfictionbooks are books that are not fiction,”Ryan saidバBecause

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non' means nol, like nonfat milk has no nlt in it."

 “And nonsense has no sense in 江"Michael added,

 “That's true," Mrs. RooPy said/‘but there's a little more to it."

is what you get when you rub two things together,"l said.

  E゛erybody laughed eventhough l didn't say anything funny・

  “That'sfridion, A.l。" Andrea Young saidバFiction is a made-uP storyj

and non-flction is based on fkts."

  “Thatjscorrect,"said Mrs. Roopy, and she smiled at Andrea. l wished

Andrea would shut uTp・

  “Oh,who cares what the di任iごrencebetween fiction and nonfiction

is?" l saidバA11 books areboring."

  Everybody went “Ooooooh!" IEk:el had said something really te 「Tble.

  “Buteverybody needs to know how to read, A.にMrs. RooPy said.

  “Notme," l saidバWhen l grow uPげm going to be a trick bike rider

because you don't have to know how to read to do tricks onabikど

  “Yeah,me tooグsaid Michad and Ryan. We told Mrs. RooPy that,

every day after schoo1,me and Michad and Ryan ride ourbikes togethel.

1 1eamed how to ride a two-wheeler in kindergarten. Now l can do a

bunny hoP ofF a bumPバmd l know the nanlesofallt]he hmous trick bike

riders・l have Posters of them al over the walls oF my room・

l don't know much about bicyde tricks,A・1.j'Mrs. RooPy said.

“But Fve got Posters oFmy hero on my walls at home too."

“Who is your heroj Mrs. Roopy?" Andrea asked.

“Melvil Dewey."

“Melvil Whoey?" l asked.

“Melvil Deweylwas a verya7nous librarian," Mrs. RooPy said, and her

eyes got allbright and sParkly and exdted.

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  “Librariansaren't fllmous,"l said.

  “MelvilDewey was," said Mrs. RooTpy,“He invented the number sys-

tem we use to find books in the library.lf it weren't R)r Melvi1 Dewey, we

wouldneverbe able to find anything,"

  “Wow!" Andrea Young said, as if she was reallyinterested in that bor-

ing stufE

  “Soif you want to find books about inseds, you'd go to number 59ジ

Mrs. RooTpy saidバAnd if you want to Find books about dinosaurs, you'd

go to number 56フ.L山raTies allover the world use the system that Melyil

Dewey invented. Today we calht the Dewey dedmal system."

  “Didallthe kids at his school make fun of him because his name was

Melvil?" l asked. l know that if theTe was a kid named MeMl in our

school, we would make fun of him constantly,

  “ldonjt know," Mrs. Roopy saidパBut would you like to hear a song l

made uP about Melvi1 Dewey?"

  “Yeah!" we al]shouted. Listening to songs had to be better than

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reading books.

  Mrs. RooPy went into her omce and came back with a guitar and one

of those harmonica thingys you xvear around your neck. She strummed a

few chords to warm uP・

  “You may have he訂d a folktale about John Henry, the stee1-drivin'

manj' Mrs. RooPy saidパWd1, this is the story of Melvi1 Dewey, the book-

sortin' man."



And then she started to sing・…

Tkj ・wo 「sksa這i附祠f



  Mrs. RooPy sang the whole song and Played he]r guitar and har-

moni(:a,too. lt was a Pretty cool song. This M山U Dewey guy had aTace

with a comPuter to see who could sort books the fastest.Melvn won the

race, but Tight a仕er he sorted the last book, he droPPed dead Tight on the

noor of the was cool.

  At the end of the song, Andrea Young got up and gave Mrs. Roopy a

standing ovation, so we allhad to get uP too・

  “Thatjsthe saddest story l eveTheard in my liR,”Emily said,wiping

tears from her eyes.

  At the end ofthe Period, Mrs. RooPy asked us ifwe had any questions

about how to use the library.

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it tme that iFwe don't retum our libTary books on time you lock us

in a dungeon undeT the school?" l asked. Everybody laughed even though

l didn't say anything funny・

  “Don'tbe smy," Mrs. RooPy said.“The dungeon is on the third noor."

l think she was tellinga joke, but l'm not sure.

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6一 My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

johnny APPlesauce

When we came into the library the next time,a guy with a long beard
came down the ladder from the tree house, wearing blue-jean overalls. He

was carrying a sho゛eland a big sacTk.He had no shoes on his feet・but he

was wearing a Pot on his head. He looTked funny, and he looked a lot like

Mrs. Roopy to me.

  “Mrs.Roopy, why aTe you weaTing a Pot on your head?” l asked.

  “Roopy?" the guy said in a funny voiceバYou young 'uns must be con-

fUsin' me with some other filleT.My name is Johnny 匈Pleseed. lt's the

year l8oo・ l travel 丘om town to town Tplantin'apPle trees most every・

wheTe l wanderj'

  “You are not Johnny APpleseed!j' Andrea called out “You're Mrs.

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neveTheard oF no RooPy,≒he guy said,making his forehead a11

wrinkly.‘柏Pleseed's the nanle. Plant 「aPPle trees is my game. This

heTe's a dam big countryバmd l reckon R)lksaでregonna need a heaP of aP-

  No matter what we said,we couldn't convince the bearded guy with
the Pot on his head that he wasn'□ohnny APPleseed. He read us a story
about Johnny APPleseed and told us lots oF stu江about aPPles・

  “Didyou know that 硲1ks have been eatin' aPPles for thousands of
yearsl ?'johnny ApPleseed told us.

  “They should dew fasterj'l said, and everybody laughed.

  Then Johnny APPleseed took us outside and he1Ped us Plant a real

aPTPle tree neaTthe Playground. Bdore we went back into schoo1,we had

aPPles for snack.

  lcan understand why he Planted all those aPPle trees.l can undeT-

stand why he was dressed funny. But what l don't undeTstand is why he

woTe゛゛“rv1.vλ£よ£よりλよゝごsw・ゑλゑs-. ?vよ£λ£λλyTr`゛“゛`″`゛b`刀 ¨゛−’`’“`¨
a Pot on his head. Thaoohnny APPlesauce guy was weird
When we got back to dassj told Miss Daisy all about what haPPened

duTing libTary Period.

  “Do you stillthink books are boでring, A・ J。?”she asked me.

“Yes,”l said,

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l s’


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0ne Small SteP for Man

By this time, we weren't sure if Johnny APPleseed and George Wash-

ington had been to our school, or if it was just Mrs. Roopy dressed up in

Rλnny costumes・ But we were sure of one thing・

  Mrs. Roopy is looPy!

  “We ha゛e to have PToof7' Michael said.“My flltheris a Policeman, and

he said that if you want to be sureof something, you have to have Proo£

He always says the proofis in the pudding."

  “What does Tpudding have to do with it?" l asked.

  “Beats me,"said Michael.

  “Your dad is weird,"l said.

  “How aTe we going to Prove that Mrs. Roopy is dでressinguP in fumly

costumes?" Ryan asked.

  “Wejllget heT fingerPrints! 'jMichael said,all exdted. “That's what my

dad does. Everybody in the whole world has diffirent fingerPrints. lf we

geoohnny Appleseedjs fingerprints and then we get Mrs. RooPy's finger-

printsj l can have my dad test them. lf they are the same fingerprints,

then that will be Proof that Mrs. RooPy was just Pretending to be lohnny


  Me and Ryan agreed that Michael was a genius. The next time we had

library, we 1)rought a juice box with us,so we could get Mrs. RooTpy's fin-


  But when we came into the library,all the lights were out and the

shades'were down. lt was really dark. At Rrst we thought 函刈ibrary was

dosed. Then we heard a noise. lt came from the toTp ofthe tree house.We

a1Ilooked uP・

  Somebody was coming down the ladden Whoever it was had on a

spacesuit and was moving in slow motion.

  Some music began playing over the loudsPeaker/‘The

landed," the astronaut said. Finally the astronaut reached the bottom rung

ofthe ladder・ lt was hard to see a ace through the sPace helmet.

got to be Mrs・ Roopy!" Andrea said.

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“I'm not Mrs. Roopy," the astronaut saidy‘My name is NeiI Arm-
strong.ltis l969Jam about to become the firsthuman being to set foot

on the moon.”
  Slowly NeiI Armstrong ?put one foot on the nooTof the liTbrary・

  “That'sone snlallstep 丘)rman, one giant leaP for manklnd," he said.

  We tried to convince NeiI Armstrong that he was really MTs. RooPy

dressed in a sPacesuit/but he kePt saying he had neverheard of anyone

named Roopy. NeilArmstrong spent the rest of the period showing us

books about the Trnoon and the sun and the stars and outer sPace. lt was

almost not boring/but not quite.

  “Would you like some juice,MT.Armstrong?" Michael asked, holding

out the juice box.

  “No thank you," Neil Armstrong saidバI've got to be getting back to

Earth nowl And l belie゛eyou have to go back to Miss Daisy's dass."

  Then he dimbed uP the ladder and into the tree house.Michael was

disapPointed that he didn't get NeiI Armstrong's FlngerPrints.

  When we got back to dassj told Miss Daisy allabout Neil Armstrong

stePTping on the surface oF the moon for the firsttime.

  “Wow, that sounds exdting!" Miss Daisy said.“Do you stillthink

books are boring, A.l.?"

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

“Yes,”l said

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My Weird Schoo1 #3: Mrs, Roopy ls Loopy!

Nursery Rhyme Week

The only way to Pro゛e that Mrs. RooPy was dTessing up in siny costumes

and pretending to be otheT Tpeople would be to get her fingerprints,Me

and Ryan and Michael were deteTmined to get them the next time we had


  “When do we have library this week?” we asked Miss Daisy,

  “Oh,there is no libraTy this weekj' she said.“The whole schoohs cde-

brating Nursery Rhyme Week in our dassTooms."

  “Oh man!リsaidバWe wanted to go to the libTary."

  “Yeahj'agreed Michad and Ryan.

  Miss Daisy looked allsuTPrised. She Put her hand on my forehead the

way my mom does when she thinks l have a fever.

  “ATeyou sick,A・J.yMiss Daisy said/‘TheTe must be something

wrong with you 汀you wanoo卯to the n ̄♭raryDidゴt you say allbooks

are boTingy'

  “They are,"l saidバl just want Proof that Mrs. RooPy was PTetending

to be George Washingtonjohnny APPleseed, and Nd Armstrong. We

have to get hedLngeTPrintsグ

  “Oh,don't be smyj' Miss Daisy saidバMrs. RooPy is a Perらこtlynor-


  Miss Daisy took out a big fat Mother Goosebook. She oPened it and

was about to start Teading when this weird-looking girl skiPPed into the

dassroom. She was all dressed uP in a Pu汗y dress and she was holding a


”we allshouted

  “I'mnot MTs. Roopy,'j the girl saidバ‘My name is Little BO Peep. I

seem to have lost my sheeP・ Do you know wheTe l can flnd them?"

  “NOPej'everybody said・

“Maybe theダre in the dungeon on the third 且oor,”

l said

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− −−

゛ ̄  ̄角 fl 41


.S'a l

●−■ ■㎜
ri │・│●







 ≒、 j 「
`  I


一一 牡1


・’ ̄ ̄・Jr4 1


  Michad triedto get her fingerPrin区but Lime BO PeeP went skiPPing

out oft]hedassroom befoTehecould get a juice box・
  “Thatwas weird," Emily said.

“What kind oF a name is PeeP, anyway?”l asked.

Miss Daisy read us sorne nursery rhymes 丘om the Mother Goose
book.What]dnd ofa name is Goose, anyway?

  After a while,this other girl carne running into our dassroom. She

was holding a bucket in her hand.

Mrs. RooTpy again!" we allshouted.

  “Whoareyou now, MTs. RooTpy?" Emily asked.

  “I'mnot Mrs. RooTpy," the girl saidパMy name is Ji11.Lran uTP a hill

with my fiiend lack to Rtch a Tpailof waten But lack fiごIl

down and broke

hiscrolwn. l went running after him, but now l have no idea where he is.

Have you seenhim?"

“NOPe,” everybody said

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