PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES
Boundaries are lines we stay within as professionals. When we cross them, we
jeopardize our effectiveness in helping students.
Important Boundary Lines
• Staff-Student Boundary – Differentiating
yourself as a staff member
• Work-Home Boundary – Keeping work at work
and home at home. This includes maintaining
appropriate self-disclosure
• Personal Distance – Maintaining healthy
personal distance and contact.
• Advice Giving – Only giving advice you are
qualified to give and/or is within your role.
• Secret Keeping – Never agreeing to keep
information secret from other staff
or parents.
Educators gain
more respect and are
more effective in
helping students...
Benefits of Good Boundaries
• Preserves your ability to work with students by
establishing a clear student-teacher relationship
with a focus on learning.
• Protects you from accusations of impropriety or
favoritism
• Models healthy student-teacher
relationships
for students.
• Preserves your privacy by keeping the
focus on school and school events, not on
your life outside of school.
...when they
understand boundaries
and stay within their
professional role
5 examples of Staff-Student
Boundary Violations
• Attempting to “fit in” by dressing or acting like
the students you work with
• Anything that could be construed as flirting,
playing favorites, or in some way giving preferential
treatment to certain students over others
• Seeking emotional support from a student: you
shouldn’t put them in a position where they have
to help you
• Having personal telephone, text or email
conversations with students that are not school
related
• Telling inappropriate jokes, rough housing, or
gossiping about others.
ARE SIGN POSTS
YOU SHOULD PAY
ATTENTION TO
What happens at school stays at school
What happens at home stays at home
5 examples of Work-Home
Boundary Violations
• Talking about a student with friends or in a
public place such as a restaurant or store where
you might be overheard
• Interacting with students outside of school in
person, on the phone or through social media,
especially for personal conversations
• Giving away too much information about your
personal life that may color students’ perception
of you, such as your political beliefs or past
indiscretions
• Giving students rides in your car
• Inviting students or parents of students to your
home.
MYTH BUSTER
Dressing, acting and talking like students
DOES NOT help you establish better
relationships or gain students’ respect.
 “TWO RULES ABOUT DISCLOSING INFORMATION

2
THAT HELP YOU KEEP GOOD BOUNDARIES”
• The Headline Rule – Are you okay with whatever you say
to a student being on the headline of tomorrow’s paper?
Can it be changed in ways that are unfavorable to you?
• The Helpful Rule – Is the information you reveal helpful

RULES to the student? Can the information be harmful? Could it

disrupt your relationship with students, causing them to
judge, dislike, or distrust you?

SUPPOSE YOU TELL STUDENTS THIS GETS TURNED INTO…

“I think the principal doesn’t listen to I don’t have to listen to the principal
students.” because he’s a jerk.
“I am an adult so I have a beer every now Mr. Jones admits to being a drinker
and then.”
“I have suffered from depression in the Mr. Jones can’t understand me, he’s too
past.” depressed.

3 examples of Personal distance 3 examples of Advice -

Boundary violations
• Standing or sitting too close to a student
• Giving hugs, backrubs or pats
• Any prolonged or lingering touch that is not
necessary to assist the student.
Giving Boundary violations
• Playing therapist to a student who confides in
you by giving advice on personal or family matters
• Giving advice that is outside of your professional
role, such as legal, medical or dietary advice
• Giving religious or political advice / opinions.
 3 EXAMPLES OF INAPPROPRIATE
SECRET-KEEPING
• “I won’t tell your teacher you forgot to do the
assignment.”
• “Nobody needs to know you are having
trouble at home.”
• “Tell me what’s bothering you. I promise I
won’t tell anyone.”

PROTECTIVE STRATEGIES
Here are some ways you can protect yourself from other people’s boundary problems

Documentation - When something happens that

makes you feel uncomfortable, such as a student
tries to cross one of your boundaries, document it
and tell colleagues about it so you have a record.

Prepare Responses - Prepare responses for when

students attempt to cross one of your boundaries.
Below are some examples.

Double Coverage - When working with a student

that may attempt to violate boundaries (especially
physical or sexual boundaries) make sure you are
not alone with that student.
STUDENT SAYS
1. Have you ever smoked pot?
2. Can you come to my birthday this weekend?
3. Can you give me a ride home?
4. Do you think I’m pretty? Sexy? Handsome?
5. You’re my friend right?
6. Please don’t tell my parents I got this grade.
APPROPRIATE RESPONSE
1. Why do you ask? I’m not sure what that has
to do with your math assignment?
2. It’s your birthday? Happy birthday! I’m sorry
I can’t come, but have a great party.
3. I can’t, but I can call your parent and they
can help you.
4. I don’t really think about students in those
terms.
5. Well, I’m actually your (teacher/support
person etc.) and that is a bit of a different role
than a friend…
6. I don’t agree to keep any secrets, especially
from parents.

Think of a boundary that students often try to

GO DO IT cross with you. Plan ahead what you will say to

draw the boundary line next time it happens.
Activity Rehearse it with a trusted colleague.

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