Alzheimer's Definition Paper

by Madeeha Sherif f

Submission date: 25-Feb-2019 08:36PM (UT C-0800)

Submission ID: 1083922263
File name: Alzheimer_s_Def inition_Paper.pdf (296.38K)
Word count: 2472
Character count: 13729
 Two Successes: 1. Great overview of this tragic disease. 2. Excellent, easily accessible
description of its stages. Two Challenges: 1. Try outlining your paper now as a list so you can
find and eliminate repetition. 2. Consider breaking up the gender, race, etc. effects with sub
headings. Perhaps peer-reviewed sources can build your description of the latest progress on
A.D.

comma s

Concise

enlarge for legibility

Oh no

when?
did he know these names then?

when?

Audience's needs
what's a plaque?
Cool that he gave
A. credit!
 This is all so
sad.

redundant
becoming
repetitive. Try
mining your
peer-reviewed
sources to
discuss the latest
research or
treatments, for
example.
this is all good.
Is it all from the
same source?
Also, consider
deleting or
reducing the
part I called
repetitive, then
use
subheadings in
this part.
thanks good
Alzheimer's Definition Paper
ORIGINALITY REPORT

4 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
2%
INT ERNET SOURCES
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PUBLICAT IONS
3%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

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Submitted to St. John The Baptist High School
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www.medindia.net
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www.news-medical.net
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Submitted to Bergen County Technical Schools
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Exclude quotes On Exclude matches < 4 words
Exclude bibliography On
Alzheimer's Definition Paper
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

128
PAGE 1
/150

Text Comment. T wo Successes: 1. Great overview of this tragic disease. 2. Excellent,

easily accessible description of its stages. T wo Challenges: 1. T ry outlining your paper now as a
list so you can f ind and eliminate repetition. 2. Consider breaking up the gender, race, etc.
ef f ects with sub headings. Perhaps peer-reviewed sources can build your description of the
latest progress on A.D.

Text Comment. comma

Text Comment. s

QM Concise
Practice our sentence revision techniques here and throughout your report (e.g., reduce
prepositional phrases, use vigorous verbs, etc.).

Text Comment. enlarge f or legibility

Text Comment. Oh no

Text Comment. when?

PAGE 2

Text Comment. did he know these names then?

Text Comment. when?

 QM Audience's needs
Always consider the education and experience of your readers when you write. If you are writing
to general audience, you will need to def ine scientif ic words or terms and concepts that are
specif ic to your f ield. Likewise, you will need to explain any background to which you ref er. On
the other hand, a specialized audience may f ind such def initions and explanations unnecessary.

Text Comment. what's a plaque?

PAGE 3

Text Comment. Cool that he gave A. credit!

PAGE 4

Text Comment. T his is all so sad.

Text Comment. redundant

PAGE 5

Text Comment. becoming repetitive. T ry mining your peer-reviewed sources to discuss the
latest research or treatments, f or example.

PAGE 6

Text Comment. this is all good. Is it all f rom the same source? Also, consider deleting or
reducing the part I called repetitive, then use subheadings in this part.

PAGE 7

PAGE 8

PAGE 9

PAGE 10

PAGE 11

Text Comment. thanks good

PAGE 12
RUBRIC: 36 3 DEFINITION RUBRIC

RHET . FOCUS Prof icient

SLO #1: Write f ormally and inf ormally, in-class and out-of -class, f or a variety of audiences and purposes.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are of ten not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC language needs adjustment f or the audience. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept)isn't clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or
concept) may be unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT Shows attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and ideas and using
audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine or term or concept) may be
implied, but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, def ining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to def ine a term or
concept) is clear and achieved with style.

ET HIC RESRCH Prof icient

SLO #2: Using the appropriate major’s customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate inf ormation
f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses incorrectly quotation marks and/or MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
BASIC (number system) parenthetical citations and works cited list. Many citation errors.
Does not cite f rom a variety of discipline-appropriate sources. May be over-reliant on
a single source.

DEVELOPING A f ew errors in quotation marks, MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)

parenthetical citations and works cited list. May cite superf icially f rom sources. May
be over-reliant on a single source.

PROFICIENT Correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)
parenthetical citations and works cited list. May have 1-2 citation errors. Cites f rom a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ADVANCED Consistently and correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
(number system) in-text (parenthetical) and end-of -text (ref erence list) citations f or
all sources, whether quoted directly or paraphrased. Cites f rom a variety of discipline-
appropriate sources. Never over-reliant on a single source.

PERS/SUPPORT Prof icient

SLO #3: Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate caref ully, objectively, and persuasively the
relative merits of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.

ABSENT OR BELOW Fails to support claims with specif ic explanations, examples, etc.. Objectivity may be
BASIC lacking.
DEVELOPING Attempts to support claims with explanations, examples, etc., but specif icity and/or
objectivity may be lacking.

PROFICIENT Usually supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic
explanations, examples, etc.. Usually maintains objectivity.

ADVANCED Supports the def inition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specif ic explanations,
examples, etc.. Maintains objectivity.

ORGANIZ AT ION Prof icient

SLO #4: Organize, f ocus, and communicate one’s thoughts clearly and ef f ectively to address a rhetorical
situation.

ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;
BASIC topic sentences, headings, transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or
illogically connected. Ps contain multiple topics or are disorganized.

DEVELOPING Organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical partitioning;

topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt, but may be vague, too broad,
or inconsistenly or illogically linked. Ps may not be unif ied.

PROFICIENT Clear organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical

partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together adequately. Ps are usually unif ied.

ADVANCED Clear, specif ic organizational devices (one-sentence def inition; introduction; logical
partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) f it the prompt and tie ideas and
topics together logically and seamlessly. Paragraphs are unif ied.

LANG & DESIGN Prof icient

SLO # 5: Recognize, evaluate, and employ the f eatures and contexts of language and design that express
and inf luence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural dif f erences.

ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Language may
BASIC ref lect a gender or cultural bias or be too high or too low. Design may be
unconventional and inef f ective.

DEVELOPING Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors of ten impede readability or otherwise
distract f rom meaning. Style may be either too high or too low. Language may
occasionally suggest a gender or cultural bias. Design may be inconventional or
inef f ective.

PROFICIENT Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are f ew and do not distract f rom
meaning. Middle-level-style. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences.
Design is conventional and ef f ective.

ADVANCED Outstanding control of language, with middle-level style, including ef f ective diction
and sentence variety. Language respects gender and cultural dif f erences. Design is
conventional and ef f ective.