12/17/2016
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About Me
Name:
Kathy
Location:
United States
Kathy is a tennis pro and freelance
editor/writer who writes
instructional tennis articles for
various print and electronic
publications. A graduate of the
University of Wisconsin with a
major in biology and a minor in
English, she also graduated second
in her class at the United States
Tennis Academy and taught high
school science for 16 years.
View my complete profile
Recent Posts
How Narcissists Get So Good at
Manipulation
Why doesn't the victim leave the
abuser?
Narc Attack: Simple Case of Bad
Guy Attacking Good...
Curing Punishment
The Joker
The Secret of Control Tactics
Starving a Predator
Narcissism: Cheating Your Way
through Life
The Endless Perversity of
Narcissism
Woops ‐ You told the wrong
whopper!
http://narc­attack.blogspot.com/2007/10/resisting­manipulation.html
What Makes Narcissists Tick: Resisting Manipulation
bingkatmc@gmail.com   Dashboard   Mag­sign Out
F R I D AY, O C T O B E R 1 2 , 2 0 0 7 About
About the malignant narcissism of
Resisting Manipulation
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Here is a suggestion for how to keep narcissists and other psychological (NPD). Explains why narcissists
manipulators from controlling you. behave the way they do ‐ viewing
others as prey to treat like dirt or
tear down in order to prop up their
Never think to outsmart them or out‐manipulate them. You might as well
delusions of superiority. Share your
think to beat Roger Federer at tennis.
insights and everyday examples of
narcissistic behavior.
But straight thinking can help immensely.
Visit the Main Website
Keep clear on this point: Your feelings are not under your control. Your
Main Website
conduct is. Do not let your emotions control your conduct. If you don't,
What Makes Narcissists Tick
you won't be manipulated.
NOW IN PAPERBACK!
Like a novelist, a manipulator manipulates your feelings. A novelist knows
5th and Final Edition
how to make you happy, sad. He knows how to put you on tenterhooks. He
knows how to make you side with a certain character, even a villain. He
What Narcissists Don't Want
knows how to make you desperate to see the hero get what she wants.
You to Know
There are literary formulas for achieving all these things in the mind of
the reader.
So, con artists, narcissists, and psychopaths aren't the only great
manipulators out there. But they all manipulate by manipulating your
emotions.
They CAUSE your feelings. If the situation is such that you can't keep them
from abusing you at will, they control your feelings.
Bruised feelings are more sensitive feelings. So, continuing abuse gets
more and more painful.
This is why it's best to get away from the narcissist. By doing so, you take
away his or her power to control your emotions.
Those emotions aren't bad. In fact, they are what motivate you to put a
stop to the abuse. They give you the courage to act.
Fine. But don't let those emotions do your thinking for you. They are
housed in the primitive brainstem, so you can imagine what kind of bright
ideas they come up with.
Not smart. Then YOU will have something to be ashamed of. OperationDoubles.com
Your intellect should be in charge of your conduct.
See the complete catalog of books,
Shakespeare's Hamlet is a masterful story of intellect and emotion battling guides and demos available from
for supremacy in this young man. His raging soliloquies are Emotion trying OperationDoubles.com. New to
to make him just go murder that guy and be done with it, so that the downloading? Help is here.
world sees he does have a spine.
AFFILIATES
This inner battle tears him apart. The same inner battle tears the victims
of narcissists apart. It's a living Hell.
But I'm sorry, but there's no way duck out of it. Many people think to do so
by cheating: they just squelch their feelings.
There. Hell all gone.
Not.
1/3
12/17/2016 What Makes Narcissists Tick: Resisting Manipulation

That isn't the same thing as putting your intellect in control of your
conduct.

What's more, these people don't really alter their feelings at all. They just
delude themselves into thinking that they have controlled their feelings by
repressing them. Repressed feelings aren't controlled. They are just
pushed down to the level of the subconscious. And they still motivate your
conduct from there.

The only difference is that now you are unaware of their influence on your
conduct. So, you can't temper that influence with reason and good
judgement.

That's dangerous. It's dangerous to have subconscious activity motivating

your conduct!

So, there is no way to avoid this heart‐rending inner battle of emotion and
intellect. The psychological warfare of the narcissist has forced it on you.
You are just going to have to win it.

Hamlet does. He never denies his emotions, but he also never cedes
control of his conduct to his emotions. Painful as they are, his emotions
are good for him. They keep him from the cowardice and treason of
allowing the murder of his father by doing nothing about it. BUT, he never
lets those emotions call the shots. His intellect steadfastly chooses to bide
his time, waiting for an opportunity to do justice, putting the black hat on
Claudius and the white hat on himself for the whole world to see. And
when that opportunity arrives (at the end), Hamlet acts without hesitation
as the legal Seat of Justice in the land.

Justice. Fiat justitia, ruat coelum!

The famous saying was coined by Lucius Calpurnius Piso Caesoninus, a

Roman statesman and Julius Caesar's father‐in‐law.

It is usually translated as "Though the heavens fall, let justice be done!"

Although to a native speaker of Latin the sense would be "To hell with
heaven, let justice be done!" Or in another sense: "To hell with
celebrities, let justice be done!"

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9:06 AM permanent link   4 comments links to this post

4 Comments:

At 1:01 PM,  Marisol said...

Great post in a great series of posts. Thanks for putting your heart, your
talent and your sense of timing into writing about these things. Did you
see the movie What Dreams May Come? The post was reminding me of
those people stuck in hell without knowing they were dead, and all those
various rescuers who wouldn't give up. I don't know which of those rescuers
the post was reminding me of. They did get that one person out of hell,
that was pretty impressive. I know it brought an awfully Hollywoody
treatment to a lot of sacred subjects, but I liked it (I hope that's not some
kind of controversial opinion people would rather you kept to yourself
about yourself!)

At 6:06 PM,  zubeldia said...

Hi there,

I just happened upon this blog and wanted to say 'hello'. I recently
realised that my mother likely has quite severe NPD and I am now dealing
with the fall‐out at the age of 31. It's a pretty despairing experience, but
so much makes sense to me now... I have been dealing with various eating
disorders (mostly anorexia) from an early age and I'm beginning to see the
role my mum played in its development,

Thanks,
Zubeldia

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12/17/2016 What Makes Narcissists Tick: Resisting Manipulation
At 1:44 PM,  Stef said...
Interesting post for me, since my NPD father *is* a novelist! (Or was‐‐
hasn't published anything in a long time.) I don't talk to him anymore and
it's been so, so freeing.

At 12:04 AM,  Anonymous said...

got a call from my narcissist. "Mum is dying" I went into Narcissitic Supplier
mode and packed my bag: abandoned personal and professional plans and
was about to set off on the 8 hour journey at 8pm.
Then I remembered to act on my logic. arrange to fulfill some person and
professional obligations, get some sleep first. Tell myself "He is alone
down there because he made living with him impossible"
When I rang the hospital at dawn, his mother was okay.
I, at least had my chores for next week done and wasn't 700 klms away
being verbally denigrated.
Thanks Kathleen...great advice in your book....I feel I have turned a
corner.
Bridget

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This website and blog share my observations and understanding of malignant narcissism. Being a writer, I feel that I should use my ability to describe and explain things in a way that is
clear and meaningful to the average person. So, here you find many examples of narcissistic behaviors and learn why your normal behavior yields anti­ results from people with
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), why they are predators compelled to abuse and slander vulnerable prey, and why they react so backwardly to things. My aim is to contribute
what I can to the formal understanding of NPD and to help those victimized by a narcissist understand what is going on. I am no expert. These are just the observations and reasoning
of one who has had long experience with narcissists and knows others with such experience. So, I can't give you counseling or personal advice. I have no credentials. This publication
isn't intended as professional advice of any sort.

© 2005­2008, Kathleen Krajco — all rights reserved worldwide.

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