Did the maids achieve justice?

by Linde Fonville

Submission date: 10-Dec-2018 08:37PM (UT C-0500)

Submission ID: 1054731193
File name: Penelopiad_Paper.docx (19.7K)
Word count: 714
Character count: 3672
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Did the maids achieve justice?
ORIGINALITY REPORT

23 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
13%
INT ERNET SOURCES
0%
PUBLICAT IONS
23%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
Submitted to Maria Carrillo High School
St udent Paper 4%
2
Submitted to Kinkaid High School
St udent Paper 4%
3
Submitted to Lockport Township High School
St udent Paper 4%
4
Submitted to Lutheran High School
St udent Paper 4%
5
Submitted to Hanover College
St udent Paper 3%
6
Submitted to Baldwin School High School
St udent Paper 3%

Exclude quotes Of f Exclude matches Of f

Exclude bibliography On
Did the maids achieve justice?
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

55
PAGE 1
/60

Comment 1
remember this inf o goes on the lef t. and it's double spaced.

Comment 2
How about some kind of opening hook to draw us in?

Proof read T his part of the sentence contains a grammatical error or misspelled word that makes
your meaning unclear.

Comment 3
who? can you be specif ic?

Comment 4
review the use of all the vague pronouns. It makes us as readers unsure of what you're trying
to say.

Comment 5
unclear pronoun ref erence

Comment 6
vague.
Strikethrough.

Comment 8
by comparison, this part is much less vague...maybe start with this level of concrete detail. Much
better.

thesis is solid, contextually.

can you f ind better verb structure? and just keep it in present tense, not present progressive:
the maids do not receive it vs are not receiving.

Comment 9
Maybe a transition sentence.

Comment 10
tense...and consdier revising. You have that great vocab: manipulate...use it as a verb....the
suitors manipulate....or keep it an adj. the suitors manipulative behavior leads to the poor
behavior....

Prep. You may be using the wrong preposition.

Comment 11
tense

Comment 12
f rom?

Comment 13
appears

Comment 14
give

Possessive T his word may be a plural noun and may not need an apostrophe.

Comment 15
unclear pronoun ref erence.
 unclear pronoun ref erence.

Comment 16
now you're switching tense....keep it unif orm.

S/V T his subject and verb may not agree. Proof read the sentence to make sure the subject agrees
with the verb.

Conf used You have used lead in this sentence. You may need to use led instead.

PAGE 2

Sp. T his word is misspelled. Use a dictionary or spellchecker when you proof read your work.

Comment 17
interesting point! and great job connecting the clauses to make complex sentences.

Comment 18
consider transition sentences.

Comment 19
tense

Comment 20
tense

Comment 21
excellent point...and to tie it back to the thesis, maybe explain again how she is not being
punished......OR IS she?

Article Error You may need to use an article bef ore this word. Consider using the article the

Strikethrough.

Comment 23
vague

Comment 24
 yes, but isn't that what an assumption is? by its nature it's what you have without a complete
story.

PAGE 3

Comment 25
had actions?

Comment 26
love this image. well said. I think i'd start the conclusion with this sentence and build on this
idea.

Article Error You may need to remove this article.

Comment 27
well done. But let's consider the pronouns in the intro and conclusion...very vague. Also, your
"so what" at the end seems very f orces.

Work on tense (keep it present f or literature) and tense shif ting (changing tenses)

Your thinking is still very good and your are presenting f undamentally sound ideas. Your
presentation on the sentence and paragraph level is where your arguments are the weakest.
So, f ocus some energy on the craf ting and editing of your sentences. Keep up the great
ef f ort. and I'm happy to go over this to explain what I'm talking about.
RUBRIC: 9 TH-12TH GRADE ANALYSIS

CLAIM/FOCUS Developing
Claim and Focus: Make a clear claim about the text(s) early in the essay and f ocus on proving it.

ADVANCED T he essay makes a clear claim about the purpose, ef f ectiveness, or message of the
text(s) based on the strategies, techniques, or devices of the text(s). T he essay
maintains f ocus on analyzing the text(s), using the whole essay to develop the claim
and thoroughly address the demands of the prompt.

PROFICIENT T he essay makes a clear claim about the purpose, ef f ectiveness, or message of the
text(s). T he essay maintains a f ocus on the text(s), but may stray at times f rom
developing the claim. If more than one text is being analyzed, the essay demonstrates
a good balance between or among the texts and addresses the demands of the
prompt.

DEVELOPING T he essay makes a claim about the text(s), but may not connect the claim to the
strategies, techniques, or devices of the text(s). T he essay may maintain f ocus on
the text(s), but not the analysis (or vice versa). If more than one text is being
analyzed, the writer may neglect one or more and may not f ully address the demands
of the prompt.

EMERGING T he essay does not have a claim about the text or about the strategies, techniques,
or devices of the text(s), but may instead of f er overly general f acts as a claim. T he
essay does not develop a claim throughout the essay and does not address the
demands of the prompt.

ANALYSIS/EVID Developing
Analysis and Evidence: Choose the right evidence and analyze the evidence's purpose and ef f ect.

ADVANCED T he essay cites the most appropriate and valid evidence to support its claim and f ully
explains how the evidence cited leads to the message or purpose of the text(s). T he
essay demonstrates insightf ul reasoning and f ull understanding of the strategies of
the text(s).

PROFICIENT T he essay cites appropriate evidence to support its claim and f ollows up evidence
with explanations of how it works to achieve the author's message. Summary, if
present, is balanced with analysis. T he essay demonstrates some reasoning and a
basic understanding of the text's or texts' strategies.

DEVELOPING T he essay relies too heavily on summary and of f ers only vague analysis to support
its claim and evidence is not f ollowed up with analysis. T he essay demonstrates very
little reasoning, and instead includes assertions about the text's or texts' strategies.

EMERGING T he essay does not use evidence f rom the text(s) f or the purpose of analysis. T he
essay may incorporate summary without analysis, neglecting to f ocus on the
f eatures of the text(s).

ORGANIZ AT ION Prof icient

Organization: Include an engaging introduction and strong conclusion. Use transitions throughout the
essay to make connections clear.

ADVANCED T he essay incorporates ef f ective transitions and an organizational structure that

enhances the analysis. T he essay includes an ef f ective introductory paragraph and a
concluding paragraph.

PROFICIENT T he essay's transitions and structure make it clear and easy to f ollow. T he essay
includes an introductory paragraph or statement, as well as a concluding paragraph
or statement.

DEVELOPING T he essay's transitions and structure may interf ere with a f ull understanding of the
writer's claim. T he essay includes an attempt at an introduction/introductory
statement and/or conclusion/concluding statement.

EMERGING T he lack of transitions and structure make the essay hard to f ollow. T he essay is
missing an introduction or conclusion of any kind.

LANG/ST YLE Developing

Language and Style: Use specif ic, interesting language and clear sentence structure to communicate ideas.

ADVANCED T he essay has an established, f ormal style and objective tone that is maintained
throughout. T he essay uses mostly correct, varied sentence structure and uses
precise language and domain-specif ic vocabulary in a way that addresses the
complexity of the topic. Few errors are present, and they do not interf ere with
meaning.

PROFICIENT T he essay has an established, f ormal style that is maintained throughout. T he essay
uses mostly correct, varied sentence structure and generally uses precise language
and domain-specif ic vocabulary in way that generally addresses the complexity of the
topic. T he essay may have some errors, but they do not interf ere with meaning.

DEVELOPING T he essay attempts to establish a f ormal style that may not be maintained
throughout. T he essay attempts to vary sentence structure and uses some precise
language that may be domain-specif ic at times in a way that may address the
complexity of the topic inconsistently. T he essay contains some errors that may, at
times, interf ere with meaning.

EMERGING T he essay does not establish and/or maintain a f ormal style. T he essay uses little
variety in sentence structure, and the language is general and not domain-specif ic.
T he essay contains errors that interf ere with meaning.