1 Abstract

Same sex marriage is a controversial issues in the world, which is also a

debatable topic in Vietnam. In this paper, we are going to discuss about same sex
marriage in Vietnam. Firstly, international issues and current issues in Vietnam
would be introduced. Following that, the issues of same sex marriage in Vietnam
will be evaluated based on five ethical theories: Consequentialism, Virtue ethics,
Deontology, Subjective relativism and Cultural relativism with example of some
cases in reality. At the end of our paper, our opinion about the issues will be
expressed based on the theory that we have chosen.

2 Background
Marriage has always been a huge part of human relationships. It is seen as a
meaningful connection between a man and a woman, marking an important milestone
in their life. Marriage is a coherent bonding of two persons, in which they share
mutually their responsibilities such as emotional support, moral support. They also
take charge of economic burden, take care of family’s well being and bring up their
children. Almost regions and countries in the world consider marriage as a holy union
of just one man and one woman. However, a question raised is that whether marriage
have to be the connection of just a man and a woman?

(Source: Readingthepictures.org)
 Human beings appear in the world, divided into two genders, that are male and
female. However, the physical and psychological characteristics of an individual do
not depend completely on the gender. This leads to the existence of the third part in
the world - the existence of gay and lesbian people. Appearing in parallel with the
third sex, same sex marriage is a controversial problem that creates a great number of
debates between supporters and non-supporters. Proponents of same sex marriage
argue that the legalization of this issue is to ensure human rights and the equality and
rights between people of sexual orientation different society. On the contrary, others
oppose same-sex marriage because they believe that the family type is lack of some
necessary elements for children and can lead to decline in the value of marriage, and
the end of culture. This paper will examine the opinions about same sex marriage in
some aspects of ethical theories: Consequentialism, virtue ethics, deontology,
subjective relativism and cultural relativism.

International issues of same sex marriage

Same-sex marriage has been legalized in 26 countries: Argentina, Australia,
Belgium, Brazil, Britain, Canada, Colombia, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany,
Greenland, Iceland, Ireland, Luxembourg, Malta, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand,
Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Uruguay, United States. It includes
the United States, and civil unions are recognized in many Western democracies and
yet same-sex marriage remains banned in many countries.
In 2000 the Netherlands revised its same-sex partnership law and the following
year became the first country to offer marriage to same-sex couples; several other
European countries subsequently legalized gay marriage. Next, it is the European
Union required all its members to pass legislation recognizing same-sex marriage in
EU countries in 2003. For example, by a research in the middle of the first decade of
the 2000s, it shown that four-fifths of the citizens of the Netherlands felt that same-sex
marriage should be legal throughout Europe, in a further seven countries also have a
similar opinions and views about this issues such as Spain, Germany,... Nevertheless,
in other parts of Europe: central and southern Europe that support for same-sex
marriage was quite low often with less than one-fifth of those polled favouring
legalization. By the following decade, polls indicated that roughly one-half of British
citizens approved of legalizing same-sex marriage in the United Kingdom; such
marriages were legalized in England and Wales in 2013, and Scotland followed suit in
2014, continue is other countries.
In 2005 Canada became the first country outside Europe to allows people with
same sex can live together. Thereafter, South Africa (2006) and Argentina (2010)
were the first African and Latin American countries, respectively, to legalize same-sex
marriage. And then, New Zealand (2013) became the first country in Oceania to do so.
In countries where consensus has yet to be reached on this issue, the debate is
unlikely to be resolved quickly or easily. In some parts of the world, such as those
plagued by war or natural disasters, same-sex marriage is simply not an urgent matter.
In others, the broad spectrum of notions about sexuality and the purpose of marriage is
compounded by national pluralism and a tendency for secularism and religiosity to
intersect in complex and unexpected ways.
In Thailand, efforts to address same-sex laws have stalled since the ascent of the
military government in May, while Cambodia, Burma and Laos have not put the issue
on its legislative agenda, he said. The Philippines is considering laws to ban same-sex
marriage. Indonesia and Malaysia have “entrenched discriminatory views” against
homosexuals and in Brunei, “the new penal code sets out that those seeking to be
involved in gay marriage could face whippings and long prison sentences,” Robertson
said.
On the one hand, it can be seen that the same-sex marriage recognition is an
inevitable trend of social development. Looking back at the history of the changes, we
can see human society has made strides in protecting the rights of homosexuals. The
change has been is thanks to the social movement to protect the rights of
homosexuals. However, this change is based on the correct understanding of the
people by doing many different studies to be conducted by research institutes,
universities around the world.
On the other hand, more than 100 years have passed but there are still 72 countries
and territories have laws punishing this behavior. Not least of which is that the
developed nations. According to the annual report of the Association of gay, lesbian,
bisexual, transgender, and bisexual (ILGA), there are now eight countries possessing
the highest penalty is the death penalty for homosexual (beside dozens of other
nations is imprisoned or the beating.)

Current issues of same sex marriage in VietNam:

● Abolished Fines
Vietnam became the leading country in Southeast Asia by abolishing a ban on
same-sex marriage in 2015. The revised law, while not officially recognizing same-
sex marriage, places the communist country at the forefront of countries in Asia
becoming more accepting of gay people. The National Assembly’s move is expected
to attract more lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender travelers
Vietnam’s new marriage law, which went into effect New Year’s Day abolished
regulations that “prohibit marriage between people of the same sex.”
Same-sex marriages can now take place, though the government does not recognize
them or provide legal protections in cases of disputes. The government abolished fines
that were imposed on homosexual weddings in 2013.
No other country in Southeast Asia has taken as big a step toward accepting same-
sex marriage as Vietnam, Phil Robertson, deputy Asia director at Human Rights
Watch, said by phone.

● Vietnamese Perceptions
Vietnamese perceptions about same sex marriage may also change in Vietnam
society and the existence of them is now readily admitted. In fact, media has begun to
enthusiastically support them and their love from the underground because the number
of homosexuals has mounted to hundreds of thousands- it is not a small number.
Vietnameses views became more open and more accepting toward new “trends
because ongoing modernization and open-door policies of Vietnam government that
allowed international influences, and provided new technologies and opportunities for
social interaction, including the Internet. Although some people do not accept same
sex marriage, the others have the open perspective and views about this problem.
+ The public opinions:
 According to the results of the national survey on "social perspective with the
same-sex marriage announced on 26/3/2014 shown that:
33.7% of respondents in favour of legalized same-sex marriage. About the
recognition of the right to live together as husband and wife between those of the
same sex, the number of supporters is 41.2%.
Most people believe that legalizing same-sex marriage does not affect the family
(72.7%) or their personal (63.2%). In terms of regions, the northern and central
support more active (78% and 74%) than in the South (68%).
The statistic above show that the number of supporters (approximately a half) are
still less than the number of objectors about same sex marriage. It can be seen that
cultural elements, the influence of traditional ideas, Asian ideas have pretty much
influenced perceptions about homosexuality and same-sex marriage (HNCG) in
Vietnam today. From this basis, more concerned about the traditional or family
patterns will be disrupted in the future of Vietnam.
Unlike many countries in the world, same sex relations in Vietnam are not
criminalized. One question always arises when considering the same sex marriage
topic is whether these love can lead to moral degradation, change traditional standards
or not? Will same sex marriage will degrade race, go against the value of life in
Vietnam? Until the present moment, these questions still appear regularly at the
forum, workshop ... But the prejudice, stigma in this society has led most people
always ask the same questions. There may be many different reasons, but one of the
important reasons is that homosexual sexual orientation is limited or even wrong in
Vietnam. So, in essence, the acceptance of same sex marriage may the changing
stereotypes, stigma rather than changing living standards and traditional values. The
change in attitude, morphological perspective or another is inevitable in the world of
society and Vietnam is no exception.
Moreover, the international community has debated questions about human rights
in Vietnam for at least two decades, and the Communist Party of Vietnam forbids
mentioning this topic. Thus this paper refrains from explicit comment on human rights
as they relate to the homesexuals and same sex marrigecommunity within Vietnam.
 In the articles from 2007- 2015 mainly divide into two types about issues of
homesexuals and same sex marriage between them, it is “unhealthy” or “immoral.”
On the other hand, there were articles presenting respect and understanding with this
issue:

Articles with “unhealthy” and Articles with voices of the ones

“immoral” titles. advocating for equality and displaying
tolerance and respect to the queer
world.

“Sleeplessness to treat the disease “Toward Tolerance”

of…homosexuality for their child”

“Who is a culprit causing “the disease” of “Vietnamese high school pupils

homosexuality…?” accepting of homosexuality”

“Homosexuals and tragedy of being “Daily activity to shed light on gay

denied by family” Vietnam”

“Struggling in the Third World” “Homosexuality is not a disease!”

“The confession on the honeymoon” “ Vietnam Making Gay marriage happen

in Vietnam”

“Am I male or female” The lifelong love of homosexuals

“Teacher insults homesexual student“

“Same sex marriage is strange“

“Same sex marriage - danger for culture"

 The controversy around the issue of same sex marriage for many years has always
been fierce and its waves still somewhere underground. Although the legalize of this
issues have been passed, the LGBT couple still troubled and suffering stigma. But at
least, now, they have had a lot more freedom with their gender orientation, as well as
the belief in justice to continue unfinished war. There are many groups on Facebook
where people have free and equal rights of creation, access, and development of
personal opinions about same sex marriage: Tình Yêu Trai Việt (Vietnamese Male
love), Hội ủng hộ hôn nhân đồng tính tại Việt Nam (Supporters of Vietnamese same
sex marriage), Chúng tôi ủng hộ tình yêu đồng tính (We supoort same sex love), Hội
đứng lên ủng hộ hôn nhân đồng giới Việt (Standing up for same sex marriage in
Vietnam),etc. These groups not only is a great place some homesexuals can find
support and connections but also a place that everyone thoroughly understand more
about them.

3 Same sex marriage evaluation under Ethical Theories

Human beings were born and naturally divided into males and females. The
gender discrimination has drawn the boundary between the characteristics of men and
women. Following this, there are many differences in physical appearances, emotions,
behaviours and lifestyle between males and females. Especially, a very important
factor that is implicit to distinguish males and females is vocation. Men naturally have
the obligation to become the breadwinner of a family, who take charge of heavy
responsibilities. Whereas, women were born to be weaker gender, taking the
responsibility of giving birth, taking care of children and family. This ideology is
widely accepted in almost regions and nations around the world, becoming a standard
to form the perception of family. However, there not exists anything perfect in the
world, and so do humans. This is why there are many gay and lesbian people in the
world, who have unusual characteristics of natural gender. This third part of the world
is created by people having different thoughts and feelings to people with normal
features. As a consequence, same sex marriage is an objective existence.
However, because same sex marriage is an existence going in opposite
direction to nature, there are a lot of controversy about whether same sex marriage is
ethical or not. In reality, there are many different ethical theories, each of them holds
its own principles to evaluate the ethical manners of actions and issues. This is meant
that, same sex marriage, taken in different moral theories, will be evaluated in
different ways. In our essay, same sex marriage will be valued from the viewpoint of
five ethical theories: Consequentialism ethical theory, Virtue ethics, Deontology,
Subjective relativism and Cultural relativism.

3.1 Same sex marriage under the principles of Consequentialism theory

Consequentialism is one of normative ethical theories claiming that the
consequences of actions are the ultimate foundation for every judgment about the
rightness or wrongness of those actions. Consequentialist moral theory claims that
right actions must produce the best balance of good over evil regardless of how
“good” and “evil” are defined. The essential concern of this theory is how many good
results could be generated from the performed actions.

This consequence – based theory is formed by two principles:

- The rightness or wrongness of an act depends on its result.

- The more happiness an act generates, the more ethical that act.

In addition, consequentialism provides us the guidance when we experience a

moral dilemma. Following that, in the case of hesitation, a person ought to choose the
action which maximized the good results. Therefore, the action with maximized
happiness should be the best choice in the life.

There are different forms in consequentialist ethical theory, that are Utilitarianism
and Egoism, which hold different claims about what is the good results that should be
maximized.

-“Utilitarianism, which is one of the most influential ethical theories, based on the
belief that an action is morally right if it produces a greater quantity of good or
happiness than any other possible action. It requires a person to take the consequences
of an action into consideration to determine the morality of that action and it claims
that the morality of the action depends on the amount of “goodness” that produced by
the action.”

- Egoism is the ethical theory claiming that the right action should advance
personal best interest. It requires a person to consider two opposing feelings in our
mind. On the one hand, self-love is considered bad attitude because people with self-
interested behaviors tend to be viewed selfish. In the other hand, self-love is
considered good attitude because people sometimes want to give priority to their own
needs and desires, which is a normal psychology of human.

Using the principles of Consequentialism ethical theory to consider whether a

person is ethical or not, we are examining if the good results that created by the
actions of this person could outnumber the bad ones. Similarly, in the case of same
sex marriage in Vietnam, we would consider if the best balance of good over evil
could be produced when the same sex couples decided to live with each other. Apply
the theory of Utilitarianism in this case, same sex marriage in Vietnam could be
counted as an unethical issue. Vietnam is a country that was deeply affected by
Northern feudalism. In the modern society, there exist a number of feudal ideologies
in Vietnamese culture and belief, especially in rural areas. This leads to the fact that
many Vietnamese people believe the main function of family is to maintain the
lineage. Parents often orient their children toward the fixed standards of marriage and
family, particularly people belonging to elder generations. Because almost
Vietnamese dwellers hold the perception that a standard family has to consist of
husband, wife, and children, same sex marriage in Vietnam suffers from many
difficulties and protests. It can be seen that cultural factors, traditions and ideologies
in Asia have a great influence on the concepts of homosexuality and same sex
marriage in Vietnam today. From this base, many concerns about traditional or
disruptive family patterns are often mentioned in Vietnam. A question always raised
when considering the topic of same sex marriage is whether it is morally degrading,
changing the traditional norms or not, and whether same sex marriage would erode the
development of next generation or go against the value of life.
 (Source: Du Thao Online)

A large number of parents do not want to have a child marrying with a same
sex person, that why we can understand that if the same sex couple decide to engage
in a marriage, the number of unhappy people will be greater than the number of happy
ones. Therefore, same sex marriages could fight against the code of conduct in
consequentialist theory. Research on "Social attitudes towards homosexuals" was
conducted in 2011-2012 (854 interviews were conducted and 31 in-depth interviews
were organized in Hanoi, Ha Nam, HCM City and An Giang), which indicated that
the social acceptance of society for homosexuality is very limited. More than 75% of
respondents supported gay rights, especially the right to live and adopt children.
However, only 36% of respondents agreed to allow gay people to get married. What
could be inferred from this statistic is that there are many people in Vietnam have
prejudice about same sex marriage. More seriously, gay marriage could be blamed
breaking the norms of traditional family. To many, homosexuality challenges
perspectives about biology and gender, while gay marriage threatens one of the
fundamental mainstays of society – the institution of marriage. As a results, a lot
people including their parents, their relatives will be hurt by the decision of just two
persons. Therefore, in the view point of Consequentialist, gay marriage is unethical
because it creates more negative influences to people than positive consequences.

The case of a same sex couple could be an example for this evaluation. Nam, a
Vietnamese man, loves a foreign man and decides to live with him. In a talks show
about same sex marriage, he shared about the difficulties that he suffered from when
acting against the standards of society. Firstly, Nam hurt his parents a lot because he is
the second son in the family, in whom his parent put a lot of hope. He also felt
ashamed because he did not fulfill the obligation of a man to maintain the race. In this
case, from the viewpoint of Consequentialist, Nam’s action is immoral due to the bad
consequences that brought to many people by his action.

In another aspect, Egoism theory claims that the right action should advance
personal best interest, the welfare of individual must be put in priority. Therefore,
under the viewpoint of Egoism theory, the gay have right to live with their own best
interest. By this, same sex marriage is respected in Egoism as long as it is the self-
desire of same sex couple. However, Egoism also forces us to consider two contrasted
sides in our attitude. Firstly, we tend to consider selfish or flagrantly self-loved
behaviors as wicked or troubling, so self-interest is bad behavior. In contrary, we also
hold the view that no one can love us except for ourselves, so self-interest is good
attitude. As a result, the self-interest decision of same sex couple could be argued
either selfish of unselfish. Because same sex marriage have not been completely
accepted in Vietnam, it could be claimed selfish by many people.

(Internet)
 However, in Egoism theory, whether gay marriage is selfish or not depend on the
attitude held by different individuals.

For example, Tô Trần Di Bảo (born in 1994) is a beautiful girl with a lot of fan in
social network, but she is known as the girl with the characteristics of a boy.

She met another girl name Hồ Quỳnh Nhi (born in 1995) and they felt in love with
each other. The wedding of these girls have been taken place after 6 months of dating.
Although many people did not respect the decision of Di Bảo and claim that they are
selfish people, these two girl are still happy with their choice because they think no
one can live their lives except for themselves.

Under Egoism moral theory, same sex marriage in general and Vietnamese same
sex marriage in particular could be judged to be ethical. This is because the actions of
same sex couple deciding to get marriage could maximize their own interests, which is
advanced by Egoism theory.

Same sex marriage under the principles of Virtue ethics theory

Same sex marriage – the marriage of gay and lesbian couples, is a controversial
issue in all over the world. Especially in Vietnam, where many traditional values are
the standards for actions, ideology and moral evaluation, same sex couples suffers
from many protests and discriminations. Arguments protesting same sex marriage
focus on four claims:

- Gay marriage is a contrary to traditional customs, norms, and nature.

- Gay marriage distorts the true essence of family and marriage

- Homosexual is abnormal so same sex marriage is wrong.

- Same sex marriage could lead to many bad consequences, which is dangerous and
harmful for the future of following generations and the whole country.

However, many people in Vietnam argue that same sex marriage should be
permitted because it is a “matter of justice”. Gay and lesbian people have the same
right as normal people, so same sex couples have equity to get marriage and move in
together. In addition, the permission of government and the respect of society for
same sex marriage could be beneficial for both same sex couples and society. By
analyzing the morality of gay marriage from the view point of Virtue Ethics, we could
recognize that the decisions of many gay and lesbian people are not unethical. Their
desires to live together and share mutual life are but natural needs and demands as
many other people.

Virtue ethics is a moral theory that makes virtue the centre of concerns. This theory
offers guidance to help people answer the question “What should I be”
instead of “What should I do” as Utilitarianism theory. Virtue ethics emphasizes an in
dividual's character as the key element of ethical thinking, rather than the moral nature
of actions as Deontology and the consequences of action as Consequentialism.
Compared to the duty-based moral conduct that follows a moral principle or rule to a
particular situation, Virtue ethics focuses on person’s moral virtue and moral
character, not on obedience to moral laws. Aristotle and Plato are two most modern
virtue ethicists. For Aristotle, every living being naturally aims an end, which meant
that life is teleological. It is argued that the ultimate aim of human being – their proper
goal – is happiness or flourishing (which is called eudaimonia by Aristotle). To fulfill
the proper function of life and to achieve eudaimonia, humans need to live truly with
reason in accordance. The virtues are the rational conducts of behaving, so it is
claimed that “Happiness is an activity of the soul in accordance with perfect virtue”.
Therefore, a virtuous life could not only offer humans guidance to realize happiness
but also help humans achieve true happiness.

From the theory of Virtue ethics by Aristotle, gay and lesbian have right to fulfill
their naturally goal. Because every person born different from other persons, gay and
lesbian people have no wrong in thinking and aspiring differently from normal people.
They have the equity to have the well-lived life in their own way, so there is not any
reason to reject their right of getting marriage with a same sex person. According to
Virtue ethics, happiness is the ultimate goal of life, so if same sex marriage gives
homosexuals virtuous and meaningful life, it is an ethical action. Homosexuals is
ethical because their desires of loving, getting marriage and sharing feelings,
responsibilities are normal. The marriage of same sex couple could enable them to
achieve the eudaimonia in their life. As a result, the justice of society as a whole
would be enhanced.

Besides, Virtue is defined the mean between deficiency and excess that keeps
everything in moderation. For Plato, he maintains a virtue-based eudaemonism
conception of ethics. He believes that virtues are intellectual skill that could be
created from practicing, teaching, experiencing. Virtue in Plato’s opinion is not a
mean between extremes but aims at an extreme. Therefore, maximizing the happiness
is an ethical action of homosexuals, not except for moving in together with same sex
lover. Although the marriage of homosexuals in Vietnam could experience many
objections of other parts in society, same sex couples are still considered ethical to
have their own decisions.

Same sex marriage under Deontology

About deontology theory : ‘In Kant’s ethics ( Immanuel Kant- one of the greatest
moral philosophers of the modern area ) , right actions have moral value only if they
are done with a ‘good will’- that is, a will to do your duty for duty’s sake. To act with
a good will is to act with a desire to do your duty simply because it is your duty, to
act out of pure reverence for the moral law. Without a good will, your actions have no
moral worth – even if they are done out of sympathy or love, even if they produce
good results. Only a good will is unconditionally good, and only an accompanying
good will can give your talents, virtues, and actions moral worth.’
Based on deontology theory, the only thing you need to consider when solving any
problems is duty, no matter what results is. Although the consequences make you feel
happy or satisfied, your actions don’t follow the duty, it will be unethical. An act is
supposed to be true when it is widely supported, and gradually becomes responsible
for what each person must have. If they don’t do that, their action will be wrong.
For many countries around the world, human rights are paramount . People have
the power to decide everything and their responsibility is to master their lives.
Therefore, the marriage each person is their decision. They are free to choose their
own way of getting married. They are not constrained by any family responsibilities .
Because of this opinion , there are several countries in the world that allow same-sex
marriage and it will also protected by law as normal marriages.
In contrast, in Vietnam , we do not really have a positive view about on this issue.
In each Vietnamese family, each member has their own responsibilities and
obligations. Having a wife with a husband create a balance about spiritual life as well
as duty. So, about same sex marriage in Vietnam , we need take issue from two
angles: the duty of man and the duty of woman.
o About the duty of man :
In almost families in Vietnam, the main duty of man is having a job, getting
married and having a baby. After that, they will have responsible for their family such
as earn Money to meet the needs life, parenting and take care for their children. In
addition, having a son is considered as a duty in many families. Because it helps in the
continuation of the generations of a family and there is a guarantee of someone to
worship offerings to ancestors.
For same sex marriage, a man will get married with a man. This means that they
can not have children as normal couples. In spite of the fact that they can share life
and family care, they do not replace the role of women in family. However they are
really happy when living with the person they love, but they will not be able to
complete their responsibilities to their family and society as a man.
o About the duty of woman :
For woman , their duty same as men. They also get married, give a birth and take
care for family. In addition, they help their husbands peace of mind in order to focus
on their work. When they marry a man, their parents can be more secure about their
future life because they have a strong support. Their husbands can protect, take care
of the heavy work in family. However, when having a same sex marriage between two
womens, it’s is difficult for them to solve everything in life. In short, they also can
complete the duty of a woman in a family.

From the 1/1/2015, the law of Vietnam has lifted the ban on same sex marriage.
However, it does not means that this problem is accepted. Everyone can get married
with the person who have same gender but they will not protect by law when having
any troubles. The government doesn’t prohibit the same sex marriage, but people in
this situation can not received any advantages as a normal couples. They also have no
social responsibilities to raise and care for children. They have lost what they can get
when they get married to the opposite sex. In addition, caring a child is your duty.
Meanwhile, if same sex marriage, they can adopt children. There is hardly connection
between them and children. They can not give them the best care or really love them
like their own children. One more thing we need to care about when accepting the
same sex marriage is the unbalance in a family. In every family, one person usually
have a role with individual duty. For example, the husbands is a homeowner, earning
Money and solve some problems such as build houses, repair electronic devices, etc.
In contrast, women will take care children, clean their houses, or cooking. Therefore,
when have two men or two woman in one family, they can not share the duty of
family by a balance way. They need to do everything whether it is something they
don’t know how to do. After all, even if they are really happy to be with their loved
ones, they still can not complete their duty for family also for society. Because
deontology theory don’t concern about the consequences, the homosexual marriage is
still a wrongful act in Vietnam.
It is because in Vietnam the responsibility of every woman and man in the family is
heightened so the same sex marriage has not been accepted by government. So many
couples have decided to apply for marriage abroad in order to receiving legal
protection marriage . The case of a famous young woman on the network in Vietnam
which nickname Bi Bảo is an example. She and her girlfriend were received marriage
certificate in the United States – one of the countries legalizing same-sex marriage.

In addition to being married abroad, there are many cases which they can not
marry or live together. In Vietnam , there is a story about a gay man living àn working
at the circus ( also called as : lô tô ) . He has feelings for circus son and they both have
a love time . However, with the duty of a son in family, they broke up because the
circus son must marry a girl. In above case, we can see that although same sex
marriage is no longer a foreign concept to Vietnamese people , the same gender
people can not marry because of their family responsibilities.
 If not in terms of the responsibility of men and women in the family, the bond of
marriage is also a way of binding responsibility. Marriage registration and recognition
is a way of connecting life and responsibility between two people. As in Vietnam, the
granting of same-sex marriage is still not accepted, so they will not have a binding
obligation to each other.

Same sex marriage under Subjective Relativism

Follow this theory: “ The view that an action is morally right if one approves of it. (
Implications : that individuals are morally infallible and that genuine moral
disagreement between individuals is nearly impossible )’
Based on this theory, a action can be right for this people, but it can be wrong for
other people. Every problem which is right or wrong based on how people perceive it.
For example, if I think reading books is good habits, then it is good for me. If my
friend thinks reading books is bad habits, then it is bad for her. Therefore, the morality
of an action depends on the way we think about this.
About same sex marriage problem, the same gender people will feel that it is the
right thing to do. They feel happy when living with their loved ones. For them, this is
a moral act. For every human being, everyone has the right to be loved and to choose
the one to marry. As long as they feel it is the right thing to do, it will be not wrong.
For many people , marrying someone of the same sex is difficult to accept. It is the
opposite of normal life rules that only males and females can marry. This may be an
improper behavior, contrary to morality. But that is based on some people's point of
view. It may not be right for them but it is a good choice for other people. Others think
it is right when everyone is choosing the way to make themselves happiest. With
regard to this subjective relativism theory, they will not be guilty of deciding to do
something based on their feelings. Nothing is good for everyone. Each one has a way
of looking at problems based on different perspectives. Like adultery, the third person
will feel happy and they think that this is true. But in the view of others, they think it
is a bad thing because they broke the happiness of a family. There is no standard set
for assessing the overall level of happiness of all. Every human being has his own
situation, no one is the same in every matter. At present, the problem of
homosexuality is also a lot of people are interested. It is no longer a difficult problem
to approach or difficult to say as before. So, the gay marriage was no longer strange.
This issue has also been widely advocated. They respect the decisions of
homosexuals. each person's happiness is created and choosed by themselves . No
matter how late they feel, at least for a moment, it's still the right thing to do.
Moreover, they are responsible for their choice, so if there is a consequence, they are
also the ones who suffer . We can not look at the outside but judge a man, so it is
important to respect his or her decision.
For this theory, we should support each other's decisions, but if we look at this
problem in Vietnam, we can still get stigma or disagreement from many people.
Although each person has different views and opinions, but based on most
Vietnamese views, this behavior is not. Many couples still do not receive support from
their families, so they can not come together. On the other hand, there are many
couples who have the support of family and friends and can get married
In Vietnam, there are a few cases of marriage rumors and receive a lot of blessings
of people. They support the marriage just because their relatives and friends feel
happy . The case of designer Andrian Anh Tuấn of Vietnam is one of them. He had a
marriage ceremony with his boyfriend at Nha Trang Beach with attending of a lot of
friends and relatives.
Each theory has different ways of looking at the problem. For deontology, if we
respect and promote human rights above all, then same-sex marriage is acceptable.
But when you look at it with a sense of responsibility for both men and women, it will
not be the right thing to do. But when you consider based on subjectivism, if you feel
happy and satisfied with what you choose, then this is the right thing to do. We can
not impose on others the way we perceive the problem as we are, so we need respect
and empathy. Each life
of the masters, they will have to accept the fourth, whether happy or painful.
Let them do what they want, because at least at that time , they were satisfied with
their decision.
Each country has a different way of living, according to which the duties and
responsibilities of each person are different. But basically, in terms of sex, men and
women will have different obligations. In a family, the presence of both men and
women will be more perfect and balanced. They can create good relationships and
balance the shortcomings that others can not do. Women are often affectionate and
men are tough. Therefore, these two traits can easily be reconciled and harmonized.
Moreover, such a family can create the best environment for the younger generation.
They will receive the best care from both sides and have a better orientation. If a
family has two males, it can affect the way the child develops later.
Each theory has a different approach to the problem. If the deontology is about
perception and judgment based on the viewpoint of many people , then subjectivism is
judged on the viewpoint of the individual. So , we can not say that same sex marriage
is right or wrong, because to assert it must be based on theories that people choose for
themselves.

Same sex marriage under Cultural Relativism

Cultural Relativism is “the view that an action is morally right if one’s culture
approves of it”.
In this recent year, people in our society have a more open cognition about
homosexuals. To show evidence, gay or lesbian people are no longer have to hide
their identities, they live openly in community. They are now have the right to pursuit
their happiness, to love and to live with someone they love. However, when we talk
about same sex marriage, almost of our society still say no. They argue that it
contrasts with nature and with Vietnam’s customs and traditions about marriage and
family, plus it is against Vietnamese ancestor worshipping tradition.
In Vietnam, the concept of marriage is a combination of male and female, to
maintain the race. Male and female are different in physical and psychological
structure, they complement to each other. When a male and a female come together,
there are a high possibility of having babies. If two males and two females come
together for sex, it is impossible for them to conceive a baby. This is one of the
obvious things of life that can be explained, but can not be proven. Either you accept it
or not.
 For most of Vietnamese people, marriage is the privilege of heterosexual people.
The beautiful picture of a marriage between man and woman has been imprinted in
the mind of Vietnamese people for forever. Our ancestor had said:

“ Men lie with men

As root as a guard like rub.
Men lie with women
As silk as the flowers on the branches. "
All opinions against same sex marriage are that because gay or lesbian can not give
birth, or raising children well, and all are originate from the wish to protect and
maintain the ideology of traditional marriage. Therefore, same sex marriage is not
consistent with Vietnamese people.
“Another view is based on the concept of family. Most of the views in Vietnam
nowadays raise concerns that same-sex marriage will break the concept of "family"
from the past, contrary to a fundamental function of the family is to maintain the
race.”Our ancestor tells us that marriage is the result of true love, and one of the
factors that maintains family happiness is children because it requires responsibility of
human. When entering a marriage, husband and wife have the responsibility to give
birth, to take care and to love children together. It has a meaning to not only family
but also the whole society. Meanwhile, homosexuality is not built on any platform that
requires faithfulness, so it is easily broken.
In another aspect, Vietnamese society has been heavily influenced by
Confucianism. Since Confucianism first came into Vietnam, it was not having fully
recognition of Vietnamese people but we can’t deny its impact on our society.
Confucius was officially introduced into Vietnam from the Northern domination,
Vietnamese were forced to receive the knowledge about it but gradually it took a firm
position in our ancestors’ believes. Then, the feudal dynasties of Vietnam adopted
Confucianism in their own way as the foundation for building the system of thought,
morality, law and education. Confucianism respects not only the relationship between
civilians and the king, parent and son but also husband and wife. In the relationship
between husband and wife, the idea is that husband is the center who makes decisions
for the family and maintain the activities around him, wife and son must follow him.
And then family must have at least a son to follow the lineage.Therefore, the main
purpose of marriage is to give birth, to follow the line of birth.
Before Confucianism, ancestor worship is a tradition with a long tradition in the
culture of the ancient Vietnamese. “This custom is like a bond between the living and
the dead, the mortal and those in the spiritual world. According to the concept of the
Vietnamese, death is not the end, the ancestors are always next to follow and bless us
in life.” From this custom, Vietnamese people express their gratitude and respect
toward the ancestors and those who gave birth to them. However, when the same sex
couple get married, they can not continue this tradition because they are not capable of
having children.This hurt the parents of the homosexuals and their larger families.
When a child is born, the parent makes every effort to raise the adult child so the
responsibility of the son is to repay the gratitude and worship when parents lose. In
case they have adopted children, then the child is not responsible for worshiping
ancestors because this responsibility only applies to people who have the same
bloodline in the same family. If a child is adopted, the current bond of a family will be
cut off if homosexual marriage is approved. So, in terms of culture, homosexuals do
not fit the culture of expressing gratitude and respect through ancestor worshipping.

Ancestor worship custom in Vietnam (Credit: Thư Viện Hoa Sen/Internet)

So what happen if a gay couple in Vietnam want to get married. The current best
solution is to get married in another country that approves same sex marriage. It
actually happened with Nam, he has Vietnamese nationality but worked in Australia
and he had a relationship with his boyfriend Don - a Singaporean man. Both love each
other but not approved by the family because in Vietnam and Singapore have not
accepted same sex marriage. Nam shared that although he wanted his family to accept
his true self and his relationship with Don, he could not change the way his family
thought about homosexuals because it was ingrained in the culture of them. Culture is
a part of the body of a human being and each person born and raised in a culture will
find it hard to change the culture within him. But in the depths Nam knew that he
should follow the call of the heart so he and Ron went to Australia where same sex
marriage was legal. Like Nam, many gay people in Asian countries have also come to
European countries to marry because they know they can not change the minds of
people in their hometowns immediately.
However, society is constantly changing, so traditions change so that people are
more adaptable in the new society. Vietnamese society has also changed in recent
years as gender equality has been strongly supported. And the idea of homosexuality
or same-sex marriage is gradually changing, becoming more open. Society is shifting
from agricultural form to industrial form with international market economy. That is
why family is no longer a production factory unit but a consumption unit. Family is
now surrounded by other supported organizations like school, hospital, shopping
mall…). Even in heterosexual families, having children is no longer the mean of
marriage. From a multifunction, nowaday marriage only has one purpose that is to
satisfy love between two people. The reason of this change is due to changes in
economy-society-culture and doesn’t have any relation to same sex marriage. In
modern society, due to the pressure of society, the purpose of marriage has change to
be a safe place to satisfy emotional needs instead of having babies. In the First
Declaration of Independence, Ho Chi Minh - former president of Vietnam - once said
that human have the right to pursuit happiness no matter what race they are, where are
they from. If we consider homosexuality is not a disease but a third and fourth gender,
same sex marriage will be to perform the human right.
Recently, United Nations Organization has recognised changes in the definition of
family globally. They informed that the definition of family might be vary in different
countries so the general definition must reflect new structures of family that rising
from culture changes. Also same sex marriage can’t make the race worsen because
they only take 3% of the total population and this number will not increase in the next
few years. In addition, homosexual couple can adopt children so that the number of
orphans will decline and the economic burden to maintain orphanages will be
removed. So the lawmakers of Vietnam should also consider to add the law of same
sex marriage into Vietnam law system in order to keep up with other developing
countries.
Some people worries about the impact of homosexual marriage on traditional family

because homosexual family doesn’t have the balance between the one who protect the
family and the one who take care of members in the family. In fact, it is completely
opposite with their thought. Same sex marriage has a great balance in equity because
there is no different in responsibility between the two.A three-year study in Vermont,
USA on the quality of life of registered married couples and traditional married
couples living together shows that homosexual married couples living with a
registered marriage have a better relationship as their marriage is closer, more
harmonious and less conflicts. Research in North European countries shows that after
government had passed the law which allow homosexual people to get marriage, it has
reduced the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases.”Thus, the legal law for
same-sex marriage have a very positive effect on public health and the cost-
effectiveness of social welfare issues.”
It is also concerned that a child raised by homosexual couples may not develop
normally cause there is no dad in lesbian family and no mom in gay family. However,
many countries such as America had do research about this problem and the result
showed that there was no proof that a child had grown unnormally in a homosexual
family. The American Academy of Pediatrics (2002), The American Society for
Reproductive Medicine (2006) concluded that there was no evidence that the child
would be affected by gender of parent. Some studies even showed that babies raised in
lesbian family had more achievements than babies raised in heterosexual family while
babies raised in gay family had greater leadership. At the end, the care and education
of homosexual couple does not adversely affect the concept of family tradition and the
development of children.
In short, if Vietnamese societies have always followed traditional values, today
society is always changing to match the socio-cultural development of the new age.
Accordingly, old stereotypes about homosexuality have changed and changed in a
positive way. Gay marriage is increasingly supported and recognized as human rights.
However, in the future, in order for gay marriage to be passed by law, the government
has to discuss the most appropriate law.

4 Opinion about same sex marriage

Honestly, before, we really dislike same sex couples, because with us, it likes
breaking the natural law as it should have been. We just could not understand why
people acted like that. But right now, we certain that we understood it. Because :
- Love is “the most spectacular, indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for
someone.”
- Without the person you love, your life is imperfect.
- When it comes to love, everything is limitless and unconditional.
- People are willing to do everything for their love ones.
 These are few words might describe what love is (but it is still not enough). Love is
so strange that are able to turn the wise into a complete idiot. Love provokes itself and
can not be controlled. So there is no right or wrong in love, because it is not anyone’s
fault when falling in love. The people who need to be blamed are not the people being
in love but the people around them - the surrounding people selfishly gave them their
rights to judge the loving people and hurt those homosexual lovers without realizing
that LGBT are also human like them, too.
And that it’s true, “love is love”. People are saying same sex marriage is against
traditional virtue. Don’t you realize that the traditional virtue you are talking about is
just something that humans have been building from long long time ago. It has existed
so long that people accepting it as the standard of virtue. But there is nothing called
“standard virtue”, it is just something that humans created, that is all. So this is just
some prejudice that people from the previous generation forced on this generation.
We believe people have the rights to live with their true selves. Nowadays, media
playing everywhere saying that we have to live with our true selves in order to have a
good life, “born as an origin, don’t die as a copy” - Isn’t that also what elders, friends,
films or school taught us? The current generation is on their way to make their true
selves revealed and accepted.
Take a look at the picture beneath, think about it meanings and guess why we took
this picture in here.
 The overall shape of two skulls is the heart. You must clearly know this is a symbol
of love right. But there is more. Can you distinguish which skull is male or female or
maybe they are both male or female? Do you know how beautiful or ugly they are?
Or do you know how old they are? Or what their personal statuses are? This picture is
made based on a real picture. This shows that love has no boundary, no matter who
you are, where you come from, how talented, beautiful or bad you are, “love is love”.
People hold their verdicts on minor people who are different from majority. Such a
cruel world that nature has created. We humans always seek for a better good that
benefit for majority and think that as the right action. Did you remember the
utilitarianism philosophy - maximizing the greatest amount of happiness for maximum
people is the right act - and its example about a sinking ship incident, 4 people flowed
into a stranded island and 3 of them ate 1 because they think it is because of a greater
good since that one man was homeless and familyless? All of that is just an excuse for
killing someone for their own good. They just based on that philosophy to feel more
relief after killing someone. That guy was a young man, he may not have family at
that time but he may have in the future, who knows? But for the sake of majority, they
decided to eliminate the minority. Does that sound familiar to heterosexual people and
homosexual people? Making many excuses like going against natural laws if people in
the same sex love each others? People are giving themselves the rights to judge other’
feelings - this is ridiculous. There is no right or wrong in love.
The reason we changed my mind about homosexual people is because of him.
 Do you know who is it?
It is Alan Turing - “ an English computer scientist, mathematician, logician,
cryptanalyst, philosopher, and theoretical biologist. Turing was highly influential in
the development of theoretical computer science, providing a formalisation of the
concepts of algorithm and computation with the Turing machine, which can be
considered a model of a general purpose computer. Turing is widely considered to be
the father of theoretical computer science and artificial intelligence. During the
Second World War, Turing worked for the Government Code and Cypher School
(GC&CS) at Bletchley Park, Britain's codebreaking centre that produced Ultra
intelligence. For a time he led Hut 8, the section which was responsible for German
naval cryptanalysis. Here he devised a number of techniques for speeding the breaking
of German ciphers, including improvements to the pre-war Polish bombe method, an
electromechanical machine that could find settings for the Enigma machine. Turing
played a pivotal role in cracking intercepted coded messages that enabled the Allies to
defeat the Nazis in many crucial engagements, including the Battle of the Atlantic,
and in so doing helped win the war.Counterfactual history is difficult with respect to
the effect Ultra intelligence had on the length of the war, but at the upper end it has
been estimated that this work shortened the war in Europe by more than two years
and saved over fourteen million lives.” But no matter how great he is, he was
underestimated by people (at that time) because he was homosexual. Back to when he
lived, homosex was considered as a crime or a disease, that is why homosexual people
at that time had to choose whether to take medicine or go into the jail. There was one
time, we accidentally watched a movie about Alan Turing and knew about his
situation. After breaking Enigma Code of German and saving million of lives for the
sake of those majority, all he got was disrespect from them. Do you know what is the
most heartbreaking scene from the film? It was the scene when he took medicine to
“cure his disease” - they said. We cried so desperately after realizing why he did that.
He took the medicine not because he thought his homosexual tendency was a disease,
he took it because he did not want to go to the prison so that he can stay with
Christopher - the guy that he loved. ( But the tragic thing is Christopher died a long
time ago, so he named the first computer he created to break the Enigma Code was
Christopher). After watching the film, there were so many mixed feelings within me.
We wondered if homosexual people were accepted as normal people back then, Alan
would not have suffered like that. And we know that not only Alan but many others
were and are in the situation.
So that is why, based on subjectivism, we support same sex marriage. Majority can
be selfish for themselves so why can not majority? We support not for the sake of
ourselves or for the sake of majority, we support for the love and the true self that
homosexual people deserve to have long long long long long long long ago. Everyone
should have the freedom to choose their love ones and that should be considered as a
great thing to do. Just accept them for who they are because love is no right or wrong.
People say we have to love different sex to be a perfect match, to maintain our
mankind. People desire their whole life to be perfect, but do you know what perfect
really is? How can anyone success without making any mistake? It is really easy to
answer. They can’t. No human is perfect and none never be. Perfection can be
everywhere or nowhere at all. Perfection is just the conception in humans’ minds.
Noone is perfect because perfect does not live. So if perfect doesn’t truly exist then
what are we aiming for? Why are we pushing kids live up to the standards that we
created, making them think what is right or wrong and even forcing our
thoughts,opinions and prejudices into their minds? Why do not let everybody to be
their true selves without any judgement? Then this world could be a better place if
people all just accept each others differences and keep up with their lives instead of
being cruel with others for not being similar to them. So why does our community
oppose to same-sex marriage? Homosexuals are normal humans too, so why would
we take away their rights because they’re just a slightly different from us? We have no
rights to do that. Same-sex marriage should be allowed without any judgement,
because it is a little hope for human to form a brighter path into the future with a
stable life.
The act of banning or shaming the same-sex marriage causes bad influences on
people around the world. Because of normal moral beliefs that human made up, kid
nowadays have a tendency to believe it is bad to be different. We are the victims of
these normal beliefs too. People bully those brave enough to come out and use word
“gay” as a bad word to swear at anyone they hate. Having you ever searched for word
“gay” in the dictionary? “Gay” used to mean happy or joyous, but that word is used
for one’s sexual tendency or gender. In this new era, word “gay” is really famous.
People are thinking that they are superior to others by calling someone “gay” or
killing a “gay”. This is and going to raise anxiety among children and make them
more insecure and afraid of expressing their true colors. This definitely will affect
children right now and children in the future and ruin all of their lives. Many kids tried
to kill themselves after bad attitudes that they received after coming out.
It is no doubt that same-sex marriage could possibly lead to a better world without
judgement. If we can stop this discrimination, people can live happily and sociable
with others, there will be no suicide for being bullied because of coming out. Our
future is children and if they believe living with their true selves is wrong then we
failed as being a human.
Same-sex marriage is good and nothing wrong or terrible with it, and it is
inevitable that there are many beliefs against this since there are many ethics standards
that people created. But homosexuals are human and they have all the rights to live a
fair and square life as heterosexuals. Because after all, what the most important is
yourself, myself, themselves not ourselves.

*From 2016, Vietnam has officially lifted its ban on gay marriage, affording same-
sex couples a level of freedom rarely seen in Southeast Asia. Thanks to a new law,
Vietnam will no longer be able to prohibit same-sex couples from entering into
unions. However, the law does not go as far as recognizing same-sex unions and
granting LGBT couples with equal marriage rights. Rather, the law more or less turns
a blind eye to same-sex unions. Of the approximately 90 million people living in
Vietnam, at least as many as 1.65 million people between the ages of 15 and 59 are
LGBT.
Vietnam is already seeing an influx of LGBT travelers from abroad, said Nguyen
Anh Tuan, owner of Gay Hanoi Tours, which has seen bookings increase by as much
as 50 percent in the past year.
 The new law “indicates to everyone that Vietnam is opening up more and
welcomes everyone,” he said. “Vietnam is changing very quickly. There are bigger
gay communities and gay events.””
However, government only just stops banning same-sex marriage, there is no law
to protect the benefits of LGBT union. We guess we have to wait more for
government to introduce more beneficial laws, but it is still good to have same-sex
marriage legal in Viet Nam.
Almost the point of view protesting same sex marriage in Vietnam based on the
traditional concept of family. A large number of people in Vietnam nowadays are
fears that same sex marriage would break the "family”, going against a basic family
function of maintaining the race. Our opinion is that the authors of these objections
are not wrong. But prejudice and stigma are the main drives leading most Vietnamese
people to have negative attitude toward homosexuals. So, in essence, we have an
agreement that accepting gay or bisexuality is a change of prejudice, stigma rather
than a change in norms of living or traditional values. The changes in minds, opinions
or other forms of thought are indispensable for society in the world and Vietnam is no
exception. Basically it is about time and the factors that affect these changes.