Ryan O’Cain

Ms. Wilson
English II
2/1/2019

Instructions:
1. Choose ONE of the stories you read for the Intro to English II assignment:
a. "A Dozen Keychains" by Firoozeh Dumas
b. "By Any Other Name" by Samantha Rama Rau

2. Write a well-constructed SPEPES paragraph in response to the prompt below. You must
CITE EVIDENCE from the text to support your response. Be sure to include the title(s)
and author(s) in your answer. You may use your annotations.

Prompt: The the people we are surrounded by and the things we go through in life change how
we see ourselves. In the text, how do social influences and experiences shape the protagonist's
attitude towards herself? (Type your response in the space below).

In “A Dozen Key Chains” by Firoozeh Dumas, the speaker shows a level of insecurity
and low confidence after being made fun of by other kids at the Pine Lodge Mountain Summer
Camp. The text states, “We arrived at the bus stop to discover that all the other kids had signed
up with at least one friend. My family had just moved from Whittier to Newport Beach, so I didn’t
have a friend anywhere, especially at this bus stop. To make matters worse, everybody was
staring at my Hefty trash bag.” From this text, we can conclude that the speaker doesn’t have
any friends going to the camp with her, which makes her feel alone. We can also infer that the
speaker is insecure about how her camp supplies are in a Hefty trash bag, rather than a more
normal bag like a drawstring. The text also states, “After the play, I really wanted to bathe, but I
simply could not. The idea of any of the mean girls walking in on me as I took a shower was just
too much. Plus, I had achieved a near-invisible status, I didn’t think anyone would notice how
dirty I was.” From this text, we can see that the speaker’s fear of the other girls seeing her in the
shower was so strong that she decided not to shower, which shows her insecurity of being
caught. We can also see that she desired to be “near-invisible” so that people don’t notice her,
which shows her fear of being ridiculed. In conclusion, the mean girls at camp, the speakers
cheap camp equipment, and her lack of friends at camp have caused her to feel insecure,
fearful, and lonely.

Proficie Earned Points

Requirements Based on Standards nt? (X) Points Possible
Produce an answer based on the proof you collect. X
Statement - Student
makes a clear, Restate the question stem. Mention the name of
X
straightforward, the book, story, article. 3 3
relevant claim
(Standard Wa.9.1.a) Write a specific and detailed claim that reflects the X
proof you have collected.

Proof - Student Use direct textual proof when possible (direct

X 3 3
uses observable quotes, or paraphrase from the text)
 evidence and Choose the proofs that actually prove your
X
specific details to statement is true. The more specific, the better.
support opinion.
(Standards W.9.1.b, Cite proofs using appropriate formatting (includes
X
W.9.1.d) punctuation)

Explain how your evidence proves your statement,

X
Explanation - not just that it proves your statement.
Student uses
Use key words from the statement to connect the
critical thinking to X 12
proof(s) to the statement.
support evidence 12 (3 points
and connect it to Anticipate questions your reader might have and each)
the claim. X
answer them. Leave no doubt.
(Standard W.9.1.b)
Use sound reasoning in explanation X

Synthesis - Student Restate your main point(s) using different words

X
summarizes with the same meaning.
argument and, if
Remind your reader of your strongest proofs X 2 3
necessary, offers
extension. Why is your argument important to understanding
(Standard W.9.1.e) the text?

Utilize transition words/phrases to aid organization X

Vary sentence structure (simple, compound,

Transitions/Organiz
complex)
ation/
Formatting/Style/To Use formal language to convey clear ideas (no 1.5 2
ne slang) Uses strong verbs and adjectives that make X
(Standards W.9.1.a, your argument clearer.
W.9.1.c, W.9.1.d)
Present an objective argument (keep your
X
emotions/ feelings out of it)

Conventions: Avoid run-ons, comma splices, and fragments X

Grammar, Spelling,
Capitalization, and 2 2
Punctuation X
(Standard L.9.2) Avoid capitalization and spelling errors

Total: 23.5 25