Learning Log #2

English 2010
3/12/19
Old: “I gazed as the loading bar that stretched across the screen was filling up, slowly and
painfully.”
New: “I gazed as the loading bar that stretched across the screen was filling up painfully slowly,
dragging along as if it was taunting me and my frustrated impatience.”

3/14/19
Style Academy--Writing Sentences
1. Myka sang; it surprised her mother.
2. Singing, Myka surprised he mother.
3. Myka sang, surprising her mother.
4. Her mother was surprised when Myka sang.
5. Surprising her mother, Myka sang.
6. Myka singing surprised her mother.
7. It surprised her mother, Myka’s singing.
8. Her mother, surprised, Myka sang.
9. Myka’s mother was surprised at her song.
10. Surprising to her mom, Myka sang.
Non-hibakusha employers developed a prejudice against the survivors as word got around that
they were prone to all sorts of ailments, and that even those, like Nakamura-san, who were not
creully maimed and had not developed any serious overt symptomes were unreliable workers,
since most of them seemed to suffer, as she did, from the mysterious but real malaise that came
to be known as one kind of lasting A-bomb sickness: a nagging weakness and weariness,
dizziness now and then, digestive troubles, all aggravated by a feeling of oppression, a sense of
doom, for it was said that unspeakable diseases might at any time plant nasty flowers in the
bodies of their victims, and even in those of their descendants.
-John Hersey, Hiroshima

The very words video games can spark debate between those who discuss them, both for and
against them, but I do not believe they are bad because I have many experiences with video
games, playing numerous types of games from different genres and styles, and different levels of
profanity, which is a divider that determines whether or not people associate with video games,
but I feel like that is a bit crazy because everything in video games is not real, even though there
are certain aspects that are realistic, like blood and gore, but none of them are acutely reflective
of something in the real world, so people must not determine video games are bad without seeing
the content and comparing it to the visual world we see everyday.

3/18/19
Style Academy--Phrases and Clauses
 1. Now that geopolitical conflicts will always be with us, it doesn’t mean we need to be
afraid of each other.
2. Even if geopolitical conflicts will always be with us, it doesn’t mean we need to be afraid
of each other.
3. Although this doesn’t mean we need to be afraid of each other, geopolitical conflicts will
always be with us.
The first one is if conflicts are always there, the second one is conflict might always be there, and
the last one is you don’t have to be afraid even if they are there.

3/20/19
Style Academy--Manipulating Parts/Imitation
1. Putting his own preferences above everything else, Snowden self-indulgently short-
circuited the democratic structures of accountability.
2. Snowden self-indulgently short-circuited the democratic structures of accountability,
putting his own preferences above everything else.
3. Snowden, putting his own preferences above everything else, self-indulgently short-
circuited the democratic structures of accountability.
4. He was self-indulgently putting his own preferences above everything else, short-
circuiting the democratic structures of accountability.
My favorite one out of all of them is number 4. I like the emphasis on how he is being self-
indulgent by putting his preferences above everything else. He appears selfish, which leads to
the short-circuiting of democratic structures of accountability. His preference leads to his
selfishness, leading to a short-circuit.

3/25/19
Style Academy--Sentence Combining
1. People who become highly creative and productive learn to acknowledge their failures
embrace, explore, and learn from their failures.
2. Maurice slowly grew greyer and more wrinkled as the weeks passed.
3. His impeccable clothes were sometimes spotted; he stopped wearing makeup, losing the
the bounce in his step.
4. One day I came earlier than usual, finding him running frantically from table to table in
the dining room.
5. He held up a plate, his finger across the long, jagged crack in the middle of it, shouting,
“Look at this plate!”
6. He hurled it at the wall and it shattered into tiny pieces, the shards skittering onto the
carpet.
7. He examined the plates on another table and hurled one against the wall.
8. He hurled another plate.
3/27/19
Style Academy--Participles/Participial Phrases
1. Standing in the road by the side of the car, rested on her crutches, the girl looked into the
camera.

“Slang Rebels”
4/2/19
● Rhetorical Situation
1. Exigence- Slang is used a lot in today’s world, so the subject is applicable. Many are
curious on how slang fits into speech and whether or not it is proper. The essay touches
on both areas.
2. Writer- The writer establishes himself as a credible writer. He identifies many slang
words and he uses professional references to source his research. He has extensive
research on the topic.
3. Audience- The writer has found an audience. The writer, I believe, is writing to people
who don’t grasp a full understanding of slang and its uses. The paper is very informative
about it and the current state of using slang. It is adequate for a college setting.
4. Purpose- The acceptance of slang in speech or writing. It touches on the uses of slang in
verbal speech versus writing,
● Academic/Technical Writing
1. Objective- The paper flows nicely, and it is very clear. Each paragraph unifies to the one
before and after.
2. Argumentative- There is an argument. The writer does have a thesis and supports it with
thorough analysis from many research sources.
3. Purposeful Syntax-
4. Appeals-
● Research
1. Sources- A page and a half of sources, and they are cited properly.
2. In-text citations- The in text citation relate to what is in the works cited page.
3. Works Cited-

4/4/19
Style Academy--Appositives
1. Identify or rename; “Alan Guth, a physicist at MIT, …”
2. Explain or give give examples; “There were still some lingering memory problems--
(example)--...”
3. Define; “The answer lies in the dispositional humours of the subatomic particles--the
pieces of which an atom is constructed--...”
4. Summarize; “...a Garden of Eden before the fall of man, an Eden from which we were
expelled btu for which were still filled with longing.”
5. Examples:
 a. Drew Gilpin Faust, a historian and the first woman to serve as president of
Harvard university, recently testified before the the United States Congress to
encourage the government to fund more science research.
b. A historian and first woman to serve as the president of Harvard University, Drew
Gilpin Faust, recently testified before the United States congress to encourage the
government to fund more science research.

4/8/19
Style Academy--Active and Passive Voice
1. We examine all of the applicant’s academic records to determine whether they have
established a strong affirmative case in regard to the character of his general education,
and their fitness for graduate work in their proposed subject of study. Letters of
recommendation from persons who analyze the candidate’s abilities and estimate their
promise are considered very seriously. By using the Graduate Record Examination as a
supplementary objective check, we recognize the candidate’s aptitudes and knowledge.
Considering the applicants, regard is given to character and promise as well as to
scholastic attainment. Personal interviews are not required.

4/10/19
Style Academy--Semicolons
1. Teaching young children to read is easier if the children read at home with their parents;
therefore parental involvement in a child’s early education can greatly affect the child’s
later success in life.
2. They repeated the same experiment in the following four places: Austin, Texas;
Tallahassee, Florida; Albuquerque, New Mexico; and Des Moines, Iowa.