A Year In Review

Year: Four

Year four has been one of rebuilding confidence and restructuring ideals and
beliefs. In general, the year has been influenced not by any grand experiences in
particular but rather it has built and flowed with everyday life. There have been big
moments, but I think more important is the growth of understanding how to appreciate
the mundane or routine. Today, I feel less driven by goals and more open to just
embracing the moment and whatever may come with it. In some ways this can make it
difficult to remain totally motivated, however, I think it is an overall healthier way to
approach life.
In the past, design had been my number one motivator and being a great
designer was my number one goal. This in turn led to a loss of confidence whenever I
felt I was lacking in this category. I was chasing certain types of jobs and was constantly
looking at all of the competition, comparing myself to them, and coming to the
conclusion that I wasn’t good enough. I began to lose my love for design as I worked
tirelessly not to get better for myself, but to try to achieve and obtain goals. Design
became more of a job and less of a passion.
In all reality, design is my job, however, I have come to realise that a shift in
focus can help to rebuild some of the passion I have for design. With a new outlook
focused on appreciating experience rather than chasing goals, I am able to focus on
growth as a designer and person without the need to obtain goals for that growth to be
achieved. My love for what I am doing and life in general can fuel my motivation rather
than living in a fear based outlook where failure is the motivator. This outlook has also
translated to other ideals and beliefs and has ultimately helped to shift my perspectives
and rebuild my confidence.
I truly believe that UC and the opportunities it provides has really influenced this
shift along with some people in my life. Although quite intimidating and scary at times, I
feel more and more separation from the ideals and beliefs I grew up with. With every
new person I meet and every move I make for coop my ideas and perspectives grow
broader. Whether its talking with foreign exchange students in studio or experiencing
the culture of a new city, I see how limited my views were and how much opportunity
there is outside of those more conservative beliefs. In the coming years I hope to
continue to grow and find a balance between the old and new throughout all aspects of
life.
This coming year will bring even more change and I hope to be as present as
possible through it. In a little over a week I will be going to Japan for two and a half
months to complete my final coop. I believe that this experience will be one of the most
impactful in my entire life and I look forward to how it will further develop my
perspectives on life and design. I will also be graduating this year which will also bring a
whole new set of experiences and uncertainty. Whereas in the past my goals would
have been to utilize these experiences to obtain the next job or opportunity, my goals
moving forward for this year are to enjoy it all and give everything I do my absolute all.