LIVED EXPERIENCES OF COUPLES WITH SAME SEX RELATIONSHIP

BECURAN HIGH SCHOOL

LIVED EXPERIENCES OF COUPLES WITH SAME SEX RELATIONSHIP

A Thesis Proposal Presented to the Faculty of

Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics
of the Senior High School Department
of Becuran High School

In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements

for the course, Practical Research 1

Buan Arbie V.
Cuenco Mark Brayan A.
Manalo Kristoper
Guanlao Margot C.
Quiambao Al Robert
Sazon Ian Marco V.
Sarmiento Joy Mary V.
Sangalang Vince N.
Suing Zsara M.
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LIVED EXPERIENCES OF COUPLES WITH SAME SEX RELATIONSHIP

Same-sex marriage is defined as a union between two people who are of the same

gender or biological sex. Same-sex couples want to marry for all the same reasons as their

opposite-sex counterparts. These reasons include: to publicly celebrate their commitment,

because they are in love, and/or for the legal security and benefits of marriage. Married

partners have immediate access to all relationship entitlements, protections and

responsibilities. A marriage certificate also allows married partners to easily prove their legal

rights if challenged.

Not only in the Philippines, but it is universal in the LGBT community that each

individual encounters or has encountered some sort of identity crisis which may not be as

grave as the other before they come to terms with themselves and the people around them. It

was reported that a survey was conducted by the Pew Research Center, which results made

the Philippines rank 10 out of 17 countries as one of the most gay-friendly countries because

of the country’s high level of public acceptance of homosexuals. However, how much of this

is really true? This will be further explained in the Cultural and Social Attitudes Regarding

LGBT Community section of this chapter.

Same-sex marriage, a legally or socially recognizable union between two consenting

adults of the same biological sex or social gender, has been under fire for many years. Same-

sex marriages have varied from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, which has resulted in legislative

changes of marriage laws in order to meet the constitutional demands of equality established

by the Founding Fathers. Other opposing nations recognize same-sex marriages as a civil

rights, political, social, moral, or religious taboo. They say beauty is in the eye of the
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beholder well marriage is in the psyche of the being. There is no cut-and-dry definition of

marriage but marriage-between-the-opposite-sex is the norm in most societies, the reason

why same-sex marriage is not accepted in almost all countries in the world.

Years ago, homosexuality was unacceptable. Most that were gay hid it from others

and did not act upon it. They married the opposite gender to live out a normal life. There are

many instances of homosexuals being prosecuted and discriminated against. At one point,

homosexuality was considered a mental illness as recognized by the DSM diagnostic and

statistical manual of mental disorder of Psychology. Slowly, being gay became more

acceptable, and homosexuals fought for more rights, and eventually the right to marry.=

On the one hand, there are four stages in identity formation, namely: Sensitization

where one thinks about one’s sexual identity, Significance and disorientation accepting that

one has deviated from the social norm and has accepted the consequences that would follow,

Coming out where one, as they say, goes public and is more firm with one’s identity, and

Stabilization where one doesn’t question his/her sexual identity any longer. Plummer argues,

however, the one who has reached the last stage is being imprisoned by his own deviancy

and will suffer a new form of oppression by his own sexual subgroup. (Plummer, 1975).

According to Dr. Margarita Go Singco- Holmes, a psychologist, wrote a book entitled

A Different Love: Being a gay man in the Philippines (), which is composed of the mails she

received from gay men who seek advice from her regarding the problems and issues they

currently face at the time. One of the common problems of these men were about their

sexuality that they weren’t sure what they really were and they also weren’t so sure about
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coming out to the people close to them, such as their family and friends. These experiences

could be supported through two of these stage models, despite there being many, on the

stages LGBT people experience during identity formation.( Holmes,2005).

On the other hand, Coleman suggests that there are five stages to this formation,

which are: Before coming out the individual feels strongly different which results to low self-

esteem and feeling abnormal, Coming out being able to resolve the aforementioned crisis and

is seeking acceptance from friends, most especially heterosexual friends as gaining

acceptance from them has a more positive reaction for their self-acceptance, Exploration

where they start to get curious what being their sexuality really is; this is usually being done

through sexual tendencies, First relationships where they start to have a serious relationship

with someone, and that they have a more stable self-identity, and Integration where the

individual strengthens the bond between one’s private and public self (Coleman, 1982)

However, this differs as Coleman stated that even though one has reached the last stage, one

may still experience the other stages again, as well; but he also adds that it would be difficult

to reach the last stage if there were still complications from the prior stages.

A study entitled “Living a Satisfied Sexual Identity: Discovering Wonders and

Unveiling Secrets of Selected Filipino LGB Adults aimed to identify the factors that

contribute to the Filipino LGB sexual identity satisfaction by conducting a qualitative study

with the help of 13 self-identified LGB adults in Metro Manila. In their results, they

indicated three factors which were self-affirmation and acceptance, positive support from

family and peers and personal values and beliefs. The first factor, self-affirmation and

acceptance, focused on the importance of self-reflection and focusing on their personal

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values in order to remind themselves who they really are (Hernandes & Bance,

2014).Focusing on the second factor, the support of family and peers, the study emphasized

on the value of social support and the importance of creating support groups for the sexual

minorities because these factors play an important role in experiencing the feeling of

satisfaction. The last factor, personal values and beliefs, is believed to play an important role

for their individuality and personal worth. These values and beliefs enable LGB individuals

to stand-up for themselves while facing their difficulties and it would eventually lead them to

have a positive self-concept.

According to Being LGBT in Asia, The Philippines Country Report when the Pew

Research Center conducted a survey in 2013, the results indicated that 73% of the Filipino

respondents said that homosexuality should be accepted by the society. LGBT Filipinos were

skeptical regarding the results of the survey, saying that they were only tolerated when they

fit stereotypes, such as having an occupation. Another example of the supposed acceptance

stated in the report was the television soap opera My Husband’s Lover, which shows a

married man having a male lover outside of his marriage. The show had been popular but

also controversial, especially with the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines

(CBCP) and Episcopal Commission on Youth (ECY).

According to the said report, there are two types of LGBT family affairs to consider.

The first one is when there is an LGBT member of the family and the second one is when an

LGBT couple has a family. The focus of this study is the former, where there are LGBT

members in the family.

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The report stated that there are many laws made in the Philippines to protect the

children from abuse, neglect, exploitation and discrimination. Although there are reports

saying those LGBT youths are experiencing discrimination—even from their own family or

educational institutions. One example is the physical abuse of a 19-year old Filipino gay

from his father because of his sexuality; second is an example presented in GMA7’s i-

Witness where underage gay boys in Cebu work as sex workers; the last example is the

discrimination of some educational institutions wherein they have policies regarding the

banning of transgender students in using their facilities. These examples are proof that there

is still a need to address the situation regarding the protection of LGBT family members—

both in the family and in the society.

In the Philippine judicial system, there are numerous laws that portray the LGBT

sexual orientation negatively or detrimental to one’s self and society. One example of such

laws includes Article 46 of the Family code, where homosexuality is one of the grounds of

marriage annulment and legal separation. According to the USAID report on the country’s

LGBT status, these laws are being used by unethical lawyers to further suppress the LGBT

community. Furthermore, back in 2009, the frequency of LGBT harassment has heightened.

Researchers have noted the grown less hostile towards gays and lesbians report that

the mean feeling thermometer score, a survey question that asks how respondents feel

towards gays and lesbians on a scale from 0 to 100, climbed 16 percentage points between

1984 and 2002 although it remained below a neutral 50 (Egan & Sherrill 2005).In addition,

they noted that the number of Americans who report believing that sexual relations between

same-sex adults are always wrong fell 21 percentage points between 1991 and 2002 to 55

percent. These data also suggest, of course, that a large number of Americans still are
LIVED EXPERIENCES OF COUPLES WITH SAME SEX RELATIONSHIP

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uncomfortable with gay men and lesbians, though Egan and Sherrill noted that political

principles and values can blunt the effect of discomfort and dislike; they pointed out that

political moderate and liberals were more likely to support gay rights protections (Wilcox &

Wolpert 2000).also examined the sources of people’s attitudes towards relevant policy issues,

specifically: allowing gays to serve in the military, prohibiting employment discrimination,

and adoption by gay parents. In all three issues, they found that affect toward gays and

lesbians is a powerful predictor of attitudes on gay and lesbian rights suggesting that people’s

emotions play a significant role in determining their position on these policies. They also

found that gender was a significant factor. However, other sources of attitudes about the

policy issues were not identical in every case.

They had a bad reaction to gay men and good one with lesbian women. Heterosexual

women were more supportive than men in willing to give employment protection and

adoption rights to gay people. They were also more willing to extend employee benefits to

gay couples and less likely to hold any stereotypes against gay people. The biggest gender

difference was the fact that straight men were stereotypical to gay mean. From all studies

shown, straight men were the least supportive of same sex relationships and adoption rights

for gay men. Straight men were more likely to believe that gay men have mental illness and

are more likely to molest children. These men’s responses showed that their attitudes toward

lesbians and gay

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Theoretical Framework

This research focuses on the relationship between source and the quality of same-sex

couples relationships. Theories are used to examine effects of internalized homophobia,

discrimination, and perceived stress on perceptions of relationship quality in same-sex

couples. In this study the researchers present the most prominent theories underlying same

sex relationship. These theories are Interdependence theory Harold Kelley and John Thibaut

in 1959 , Homosexuality and Sexual Orientation Identity Development Freud's Theory,

Queer Theory Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, Judith Butler, Michael Warner, and Wayne

Koestenbaum."

Interdependence theory

Interdependence theory attempts to describe the social exchange components of

personal relationships. It states that human relationships are basically a cost versus reward

scenario with individuals trying to minimize costs and increase the benefits within the

relationship. There are four types of rewards and costs discussed in interdependence theory:

emotional, instrumental, opportunity, and social. Emotional costs/rewards are the positive or

negative feelings that occur because of a relationship. Instrumental costs are the extra work

someone has to do because of a relationship like picking up dirty laundry and instrumental

rewards are the work that is lessened by the relationship a partner helping with household

chores. Opportunity costs are when someone has to give up something in a relationship give

up a dream job to relocate while opportunity rewards are when something is gained because

of the relationship relocating to nicer city to live in a dream house. Social costs and rewards
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are determined by the social status and proficiency of the partner. All of these costs and

rewards can determine whether or not a relationship is successful. If the benefits of the

relationship outweigh the costs then the relationship typically will continue. If the costs are

higher than the benefits and other alternatives are available then the relationship will most

likely dissolve.

Integrating Freud's Theory of Homosexuality and Sexual Orientation Identity

Development

Freud believed that homosexuality is the result of placing desire and identification on

the wrong objects during the Oedipus complex. The homosexual male somehow ends up

identifying with his mother and desiring his father (Beard, 1994). There are many reasons for

this mismatch of object-choices, and Freud outlines a few of them in his essay, Certain

Neurotic Mechanisms in Jealousy, Paranoia, and Homosexuality. These mechanisms include

attachment to and identification with the mother, castration anxiety, which causes the man to

renounce "castrated" womankind, narcissism: self-obsession that leads the man to choose an

object that resembles himself, and jealously the male child feelings for rival males during

childhood is repressed and unconsciously transformed into affection (Freud, 1922). The third

mechanism can be referred to as narcissistic object choice, as it involves the choice of an

object that resembles the self a narcissistic object.

Queer theory

Queer theory is a term that emerged in the late 1980s for a body of criticism on issues

of gender, sexuality, and subjectivity that came out of gay and lesbian scholarship in such

fields as literary criticism, politics, sociology, and history. Queer theory rejects essentialism

in favor of social construction; it breaks down binary oppositions such as gay or straight;
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while it follows those postmodernists who declared the death of the self, it simultaneously

attempts to rehabilitate a subjectivity that allows for sexual and political agency. Some of the

most significant authors associated with queer theory include Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick, Judith

Butler, Michael Warner, and Wayne Koestenbaum.

Conceptual Framework

The input compromises of the respondents profile such as age of individuals with

same sex relationship. These action begin with the age of 18 to 30 years old. The researchers

will focus on the individuals at the age range of 18 – 30 years old with same sex relationship.

The process will imply all the preparation from formulating consent, permission to

the respondents, and interview up to gathering information.

The output will refer to the Narrative description and significant themes of the lived
experiences of Couples with same sex relationship

Paradigm

Input Process Output

Individuals Formulating
ages 18-30 with consent Narrative
same sex description and
relationship Permission to significant
the respondents themes of the
lived
Interview experiences of
Couples with
Gathering same sex
information relationship
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Research Problem

Grounded in a commitment to a promote social justice and competent service for

LGBT individuals and communities the articles in this special issue aim to help us

better understand the significance and complexity of relationship recognition for

LGBT and queer individuals and effectively work

Significant of the study

Significant of the study the result of the identify the benefit of same sex relationship

that they stop school and just rely on their parents. This study examines the existing

scholarship between various religion related concepts and support for same sex relationship

lesbian gay and bisexuals with multiple minority statuses open experience a dual minority

stress that may negatively impact their mental health same sex relationship strengths include

having respect and appreciation for individual differences using positive emotion and

interactions and using effective communication and negotiation skills. To future same sex

relationship can be used as reference to how long their relationship.

Scope and Limitation

The study limited to all same sex relationship the study focused on the same sex

relationship in Sta. Rita Pampanga the term same sex relationship is not strictly related to the

sexual orientation of the participants as people of many orientation may participate in same

sex relationship particularly defending of the legal social and scientific definition of sex

some activist argue that referring to a same sex relationship as gay relationship is a form of

bisexual erasure.
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METHODOLOGIES

Research design

This study will utilize the phenomenological design. Phenomenology is the study of

experience. It studies structures of conscious experience as experienced from a subjective or

first-person point of view, along with its intentionality the way an experience is directed

toward a certain object in the world. It then leads to analyses of conditions of the possibility

of intentionality, conditions involving motor skills and habits, background social practices

and, often, language. The phenomenon under investigation focuses on the experiences of

couples with same sex relationship.

Participants of the study

For the participants 5 couples who participated in the Strengthening Same Sex

Relationships Programs, relationship education programs adapted for same-sex couples.

Qualitative data yielded key themes, including high program satisfaction, appreciation that

the program was designed specifically for same-sex couples, and requests for more detailed

content addressing same-sex couples' unique needs. Participants expressed preferences for

specialized programs for male or female same-sex couples. Women strongly preferred female

sexual minority program leaders; men valued leader competency over match in gender or

sexual orientation. Results can inform efforts to provide culturally sensitive relationship

education to same-sex couples.

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Sampling Tecnique

purposive sampling also known as judgment, selective or subjective sampling is a

sampling technique in which researcher relies on his or her own judgment when choosing

members of population to participate in the study.

This study was limited by the use of a small purposive sampling technique

participants has probably been one of the most important methodological factors influencing

the evolution of research on lesbians, gay men, and bisexual men .Results from studies and

well-being of LGBs can be biased by the sampling methods used by the investigators.

Interpretation and analysis of findings were limited by the sources obtained, including the

experiences of couples with same sex relationship.

Research Instrument

The main instrument that will use is interview. The researcher observes, takes notes, talks to

people. All of these are skills that need to be learned. The same applies to carrying out

interviews. Just the fact that we talk to people in our everyday life, listen, ask questions and

communicate does not make us naturally a good interviewer. According to Helfferich (2009),

a good interviewer needs the following skills: Technical competence, Interactive

competence: attention and steering, competencies in communication theory and knowing

how to deal with previous knowledge and personal bias.

The researchers will imply a semi-structured interview. It is a meeting in which

the interviewer does not strictly follow a formalized list of questions. They will ask
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more open-ended questions, allowing for a discussion with the interviewee rather than

a straightforward question and answer format.

The interviewer may prepare a list of questions but does not necessarily ask

them all, or touch on them in any particular order, using them instead to guide the

conversation. In some cases, the interviewer will prepare only a list of general topics

to be addressed, called an interview guide.

Interview Guide

 How do they feel about same sex relationship?

 How they can handle their situation?

 How can they support each other?

Data Analysis

Colaizzi's (1978) phenomenological method using as an example a study of good

care. The purpose of phenomenological method is to uncover the genuine experience of the

phenomenon under investigation; Colaizzi's method consists of seven steps. First informants'

descriptions of the experiences are read in order to acquire a sense of the whole. After that

significant statements are extracted. Meanings are formulated from the significant statements.

Formulated meanings are organised into themes. Themes are integrated into an exhaustive

description. The essential structure of the phenomenon is formulated. And finally for

validation the informants will evaluate the result of the analysis, if it means the same as their
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original experiences were. The modification of Colaizzi's method was used in order to

conceptualize good care based on the experiences of a population of ex-patients.

Reference

Hypothesis
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