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VOL. 38 ISSUE
VOL. 37 ISSUE 117 •• OFFICIAL
OFFICIAL PUBLICATION
PUBLICATIONOF
OFUNITED
UNITEDCIVIC
CIVIC ORGANIZATION
ORGANIZATION OF CENTURY
OF CENTURY VILLAGE,
VILLAGE, WESTWEST
PALM PALM
BEACH,BEACH,
FLORIDAFLORIDA • JULY2018
• NOVEMBER 2019
www.ucoreporter.com Section B
The Story
VOL. 37 ISSUE 11 • OFFICIAL PUBLICATION OF UNITED CIVIC ORGANIZATION OF CENTURY VILLAGE, WEST PALM BEACH, FLORIDA • NOVEMBER 2018
of the
BY LOUISE WARNER
The Declaration of Independence cluded on the Declaration of Independence, Jefferson and the
We celebrate American Independence Day and the fancy handwritten copy that was Declaration. But the
on the Fourth of July every year. We think of signed in August (the copy now displayed at other party, the Federalists, thought the Dec-
July 4, 1776, as a day that represents the Dec- the National Archives in Washington, D.C.) laration was too French and too anti-British,
laration of Independence and the birth of It’s also the date that was printed on the Dun- which went against their current policies.
the United States of America as an indepen- lap Broadsides, the original printed copies of By 1817, John Adams complained in a letter
dent nation. the Declaration that were circulated through- that America seemed uninterested in its past.
But July 4, 1776 wasn't the day that the Con- out the new nation. So, when people thought But that would soon change.
tinental Congress decided to declare indepen- of the Declaration of Independence, July 4, After the War of 1812, the Federalist party
dence (they did that on July 2, 1776). 1776 was the date they remembered. began to come apart and the new parties of
It wasn’t the day we started the American In contrast, we celebrate Constitution Day the 1820s and 1830s all considered themselves
Revolution either (that had happened back in on September 17th of each year, the anniversa- inheritors of Jefferson and the Democratic-Re-
April 1775). ry of the date the Constitution was signed, not publicans. Printed copies of the Declaration
And it wasn't the day Thomas Jefferson the anniversary of the date it was approved. If began to circulate again, all with the date July
wrote the first draft of the Declaration of In- we’d followed this same approach for the Dec- 4, 1776, listed at the top. The deaths of Thom-
dependence (that was in June 1776). Or the laration of Independence, we’d being celebrat- as Jefferson and John Adams on July 4, 1826
date on which the Declaration was delivered ing Independence Day on August 2nd of each may even have helped to promote the idea of
to Great Britain (that didn't happen until No- year, the day the Declaration of Independence July 4 as an important date to be celebrated.
vember 1776). Or the date it was signed (that was signed! Celebrations of the Fourth of July became
was August 2, 1776). more common as the years went on and in
How did the Fourth of July become 1870, almost a hundred years after the Dec-
So what did happen on July 4, 1776? a national holiday? laration was written, Congress first declared
The Continental Congress approved the fi- For the first 15 or 20 years after the Decla- July 4 to be a national holiday as part of a bill
nal wording of the Declaration of Indepen- ration was written, people didn’t celebrate it to officially recognize several holidays, in-
dence on July 4, 1776. They'd been working on much on any date. It was too new and too much cluding Christmas. Further legislation about
it for a couple of days after the draft was sub- else was happening in the young nation. By the national holidays, including July 4, was passed
mitted on July 2nd and finally agreed on all of 1790s, a time of bitter partisan conflicts, the in 1939 and 1941.
the edits and changes. Declaration had become controversial. One
July 4, 1776, became the date that was in- party, the Democratic-Republicans, admired From Constitutionfacts.com
INSIDE
S E C T I ON A UCO Storm Guide 2019............................ A22 Scary but Doable....................................... B9
President's Report..................................... A2
Glean as the Proverbial Whistle............... A24 The Ugly/Beautiful Dewlap..................... B10
Famous People Born in July .................... B12
REMINDER
Political..................................................... A4 SEC TION B
Delegate Assembly Minutes...................... A5
Uber vs Lyft............................................. B14 D E LE G AT E M E E T I N G
The Reader's Corner.................................. B2 Sports..................................................... B15
UCO Officer’s Report.................................. A6
What's for Dinner?.................................. B17 Friday 7/5/19
June Town Hall.......................................... A7 Book Review............................................. B2
Library News............................................. B3 Dame Detectives..................................... B18 9:30AM in the Theater
Property Manager's Report....................... A9
Lunch with Lenore.................................... B4 Shakespeare by the Sea........................... B20
WPRF News/Letters to the Editor............ A11 Email articles & comments:
Nutrition and Health................................. B5 Music on your TV..................................... B21
Maintenance........................................... A12 ucoreporterwpb@gmail.com
Century Village Organizations................... B6 Entertainment........................................ B22
Transportation........................................ A16
July is Ice Cream Month............................. B8 Review: Songs of War & Remembrance... B23
Legal: Term Limit Issue Revisited............. A17
PAGE A2 | UCO REPORTER | JULY 2019
The
President’s
Report FPR FORCE – THINK TWICE
By Dave Israel
This company first came to the tion, claiming that they will collect Additionally, they attach an as- that no WPRF ID card will be is-
attention of UCO in July 2015. They all outstanding monies due and ow- sortment of fees, including their sued, and thus no entry decal will
moved to West Palm Beach area ing from the unit owner, and in ad- administrative costs, to any unit be issued by UCO.
from Broward County, where they dition, do necessary minor repairs to which they are appointed as re- As an accommodation, WPRF
were known as “Foreclosed Proper- on the unit and make it “productive” ceiver, in addition to monies spent agreed to accept payment at the
ty Management.” Here in the Palm again. Finally, they indicated to us to spruce up the unit. Their fees are rate of two months per month, in
Beaches they styled themselves as in UCO, and on a certain website, taken first from the rents they col- lieu of payment in full, which they
“FPM Force,” short for “Foreclosed that they would find a tenant who lect, and any monies left over are can legally demand. FPM Force re-
Property Management Force.” was a retired fireman, policeman or provided to the association. This of- fused this accommodation.
UCO investigated the compa- military retiree. ten leaves the association receiving FPM Force filed with Florida Sun-
ny who claims to be able to get Basically, we in UCO believe them much less than anticipated when Biz on February 22, 2012, and were
court-ordered receivership, giving to be debt collectors which can entering into an agreement with administratively dissolved on Sep-
them control of delinquent units. expose the association to liability FPR Force. tember 23, 2016, due to failure to
The legal theory that would allow under the Unfair Debt Collection When FPM Force briefed us in file their annual report with Sun-
such appointment as court ordered Practices Act (UDCPA) if they ha- UCO, they made it clear that they Biz. A principal of FPM Force, was
receiver is not clear to us, but once rass a unit owner who is in arrears, had no intention of paying any ex- one Robert Pirmann, take a look at
this has been ordered by a judge, resulting in statutory damages to isting delinquency due to WPRF, the Sunbiz filings for Mr. Pirmann:
FPM Force approaches the associa- the association. the recreation facility. This means
Do you see a pattern here? Espe- The latest UCO has heard is that found on Florida Sunbiz, and was mend this company as compatible
cially when one notes that most of the company is now calling itself filed on August 24, 2015 under new with our Village associations.
these companies are dissolved for “Florida Property Receivers Force.” management. As always, the choice is yours.
lack of their annual report. This new name change is to be In summary, UCO cannot recom-
INDOOR POOL
EXTERIOR DOOR
WILL BE LOCKED NIGHTLY AT
November - March : 7:00PM
April - October : 10:00pm
ATTENTION PLEASE USE MAIN ENTRANCE
CV RESIDENTS:
RESIDENTS PLEASE NOTE:
OUR COMMUNITY
ALL LETTERS TO THE EDITOR AND
TV CHANNELS HAVE ANY OTHER SUBMISSIONS TO THE
BEEN MOVED FROM UCO REPORTER MUST BE SUBMITTED
ELECTRONICALLY AND PROVIDE A
CHANNELS NAME, CONDO UNIT AND PHONE
63/95 TO 590/591 NUMBER.
JULY 2019 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE A3
EDITORIAL
The UCO Reporter POLICY
The UCO Reporter promises to continue
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print articles to inform our residents of the
Visit your Web site: New Telephone Number for important issues concerning our Village. We
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UCO OFFICERS EXECUTIVE BOARD LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Letters to
Your Volunteer Staff, UCO Reporter Christine Armour Marilyn Curtis the Editor should be limited to 250 words,
President David Israel and must be e-mailed (ucoreporterwpb@
Editor-in-Chief...................... Louise Warner (Acting) George Franklin Maureen Debigare
Associate Editors................ Ruth Dreiss, Lanny Howe, Vice Presidents gmail.com) to the Reporter by the 7th of the
Anita Buchanan David Boas Domenic Guarnagia Ruth Dreiss month prior to publication. Your opinions
Staff Writers....................... Ruth Dreiss, Lanny Howe, Roger Hotaling Richard Handelsman are important to us, but please refrain from
Jody E. Lebel, Marilyn Curtis, Lenore Velcroff Stew Richland Fausto Fabbro
gossip, innuendo, nasty or inflammatory re-
Business Manager........................... Myron Silverman Treasurer Ed Black Bobbi Levin Jackie Karlan
Advertising Manager................................Phil DePaul marks. Letters deemed to be inappropriate,
Website............................................... Louise Warner Corresponding Secretary Alice Schrass Patricia Keane inflammatory or libelous will be returned by
Sports............................. Irwin J. Cohen, Ted Milham Sandra Cooper Esther Sutofsky Mary Patrick the Staff for revision or removal. All letters
Photographers..........Kate Odoardo, Walter Johnson must include the name, address and phone
Production...........................................................OPS Recording Secretary Lori Torres Michael Rayber
number of the author. No letters from UCO
Circulation................................................. Glow, Inc. John Hess Heyward Williams Joyce Reiss
Staff..................................................... Ginger Veglia, Reporter staff will be published. They may
Rowena Bacchus, Mary Patrick David Torres however have the opportunity to submit an
opinion article also limited to 250 words.
ARTICLES: Articles for inclusion should
The UCO Reporter is a monthly publication distributed within Century Village in West Palm Beach. It be limited to 500 words, e-mailed (ucore-
porterwpb@gmail.com) to the Reporter by
is the official publication of Century Village. For advertising information, please call 561-683-9189. the 7th of the month prior to the month of
The UCO Reporter assumes no responsibility for the workmanship or services rendered by advertis- publication. All articles will be limited to one
per writer. The topic of your article is of your
ers. It is recommended that you confirm they are licensed prior to using their services. Check any
choosing, but the Staff has the discretion to
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at the publisher's discretion and publisher may decline to publish any submission. Facts and state- the above stipulations. All articles must in-
clude the name, address and phone number
ments expressed in the editorial content are not necessarily those of the UCO Reporter. All content of the author.
is copyrighted and may not be reprinted, copied or reproduced without written permission from the
Publisher. ©2015.
The Meeting was called to order at SHEFFIELD A, C, D, E, F, H, K, L, M, N, include veterans from the Vietnam Anita Buchanan, chairperson of the
9:30 AM by President David Israel. O, P War Era as well as WWII and Korea. Advisory Committee proceeded to
PBSO Capt. Palenzuela led the Del- A heartfelt “Thank You” given to all. present the Articles I-V of the bylaws
SOMERSET B, E, G, H, I, J, L
egate Assembly in the Pledge of Al- Congressman Brian Mast reported for approval. The changes presented
legiance. SOUTHAMPTON A 0 of 3, B 3 of 3 on his activities and what was going have been vetted by our attorney, ac-
STRATFORD A, B, C, D, E, G, J, K, L, N on in Washington; plan of asylum cepted by the Officers and Executive
Attendance 140 Delegates
SUSSEX B, C, D, E, G, H, I, K, M and relocation of immigrants to PBC, Board committees, plus being pub-
signed in. Quorum met.
WALTHAM A, B, F, G, I remembering 75th Anniversary of lished in the UCO Reporter. They
D-Day Battle, etc. He has represen- are now presented to the delegates
WELLINGTON B 2 of 2, C 2 of 2, E 1 of 2,
ASSOCIATIONS NOT SIGNED IN tatives here in the Clubhouse Lobby for approval.
F 2 of 2, M 2 of 2 every month on the 1st and 3rd Mon- Article I: Marilyn Gorodetzer made
AT THE JUNE 7, 2019 DELEGATE
ASSEMBLY WINDSOR A, B, G, H, I, L, M, N, O, P, days. Also every Monday he has a a motion to accept Article I chang-
On June 7, 2019, the following Asso- R representative at the WPB VA hospi- es. Joyce Reiss seconded the motion.
ciations were either not represent- tal and another office on Northlake Discussion. Vote. 119 YES 7 NO 1
ed or were underrepresented at the Thank you for your participation. Blvd. open daily. ABSTAIN Motion Passed
Delegate Assembly. This is a list of Sandra Cooper, Corresponding Sec- County Commissioner Weiss re- Article II: Discussion. vote for ap-
the Associations whose Delegates retary minded us of hurricane season. He proval 124 YES 5 NO 1 ABSTAIN
were absent or failed to sign in. If This Meeting is being videotaped by also spoke about a “Virtual Hon- Passed.
an Association has more than one UCO. or Flight” for those unable to trav- Article III: Jean Dowling made a mo-
Delegate, the list shows the number el. There was removal of homeless tion to approve article III. Excepting
not signed in and the total possible. Minutes: Accepted as present- squatters along the Okeechobee cor- section F-2., which needs to be re-
ed. ridor. Emergency center; a special worked. Seconded by Helen Anti-
Please encourage your Delegate(s)
or Alternate(s) to participate at each extension of Good Samaritan Medi- noro. Discussion. Vote. 103 YES 20
Guests in Attendance
Delegate Assembly. They must be • PBSO; Capt. Palenzuela and Lt. J. cal Center will be opening soon on NO 7 ABSTAIN Motion Passed.
signed in to count toward quorum Hill the southwest corner of Okeechobee Motion Passed.
and to vote. • County Commissioner District 2 and Haverhill. The WAWA project Phyllis Richland made a motion to
Gregg Weiss; Administrative As- is on hold. There is a state mandate restore original Article III- Purpose
ANDOVER A, B, D, E, I, J, M sist. Niels Heimeriks for emergency generator and AC for of UCO to the By-Laws. Ed Gross-
• Congressman Brian Mast nursing homes. The offices of Sher- man seconded the motion. Discus-
BEDFORD B, C, D, E, J, K
• Honor Flight representatives: iff and Election commissioner now sion. Vote. 125 YES 6 NO 0 AB-
BERKSHIRE A, B, C, D, F, G, I Debby Arasi and Willie Minkel must declare a party affiliation, no STAIN Motion passes. Articles III to
CAMBRIDGE A, B, F longer nonpartisan. “HAPPY FA- be restored and By-Law Articles will
PBSO Reports THER’S DAY” be renumbered to reflect change.
CAMDEN F, G, J, L, M, N, P • Capt. Palenzuela: Hurricane sea-
Article IV: Lenora Velcroff made
CANTERBURY A, B, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K son started June 1. If you haven’t Treasurer’s Report
a motion to approve Article IV. Ed
CHATHAM A, C, G, J, K, P, Q, S, T, U done so-Stock up... the traffic en- • CPA Sebastian Yeend reported on
forcement was stepped up in May. Grossman seconded the motion.
COVENTRY A, E, H, J, L the enclosed Treasurer’s report
• Lt. Hill: 1 burglary, 1 fraud report, Discussion. Vote. 115 YES 6 NO 2
from January through April, 2019.
DORCHESTER A, B, C, E, G, I, J, K 3 thefts of auto tags. 3 incidents • The balances on the profit and ABSTAIN.
DOVER 3 of 9 of domestic violence resulting in loss statement are positive and in- Article V: Marilyn Gorodetzer made
three arrests. dicates all is going well. a motion to approve article V with
EASTHAMPTON A, B, C, D, E, F, I
• Traffic report: there were 90 stops • Plans are being made for the com- modification of line item veto, A-6.
GOLF'S EDGE 3 of 7 with 48 tickets and 37 warnings Jackie Karlan seconded the motion.
ing budget meetings for year 2020
GREENBRIER A 1 of 2 issued. Discussion. Vote. 106 YES 9 NO 1
HASTINGS B, D, E, H • Overall a good month. ABSTAIN
• The county removed the “No Officers’ Reports
KENT A, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L Committee Reports
Right Turn on Red” at Haverhill Phyllis Richland made a motion to
KINGSWOOD A, B, C, D, E, F gate. suspend Officers’ Reports to go di- Included in packet
NORTHAMPTON A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, K, rectly to New Business for By-Law
Guests Good of the Order
L, O, P. Q, R changes approval. Motion seconded
The Honor Flight representatives • Discussion on barrier fence on
by Marilyn Gorodetzer. Unanimous Century Blvd. and golf course.
NORWICH A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, K, were presented with 2 checks as a
in favor of motion. Meeting adjourned at 11:00 A.M.
L, M, N, O donation for the Honor Flight. Deb-
by Arasi gave a short presentation New Business Respectfully Submitted,
OXFORD 200 0 of 2, 300, 600
of what all the Honor Flight entails, Voting on Amended Articles I-V to John Hess, UCO Recording Secretary
PLYMOUTH IV 0 of 2, V 1 of 2
the flight and Memorials visited in UCO Bylaws
SALISBURY B, C, D, E, G Washington D.C. The Flights now
Estimated cost for this project will be $350,000. UCO’s Engineer, Derek Schenevar, will
make a presentation to the Delegates, and answer any specific questions about the pro-
posed project. Additional information about the project will be included in the Delegate
Assembly agenda packet.
PAGE A6 | UCO REPORTER | JULY 2019
SAFETY
On rewards for illegal gun information, plus on Village speeding,
scooters and bike riding
By George to commit crimes. This focuses on be connected to Crime Stoppers to This past week I noticed quite a few
Franklin PAYING. discuss your questions with them. riding on the street and cutting on
For information leading to the I hope you found this interesting, and off the sidewalks. This is not a
Hi folks, seizure of guns used in a crime and/ and do not be afraid to make that safe way to operate these vehicles.
One night, at a or the arrest of criminals, you may call! You are looking for problems! Drive
recent meeting of report a criminal gun with a call safely no matter what your vehicle.
the Palm Beach to Crime Stoppers of Palm Beach Speeding in the Village: At night, be sure you can be seen!
County Sheriff's Advisory Board, I County: 1-800-458-TIPS (8477) -- or A subject I have written about As I indicated in a previous column,
learned that there is a new program check the ANONYMOUS online many times, and which has come you can obtain items from a dealer
they have come out with called the form and click the indicated space. up many times, is SPEEDING and to attach and be installed that will
Bad Guys/ Bad Guns Program. You may also use this information DISREGARDING STOP SIGNS. At make you more visible. DO IT! I
The Palm Beach County Sheriff's to report other crimes you may be this same meeting of the PBC Sher- Also noticed children riding bikes
Office and the Chiefs of Police in aware of and be eligible for a CASH iff’s Advisory Board, I was assured here on the streets. Do not send
Palm Beach County have partnered reward. Do not report a person who that at least once a month the Mo- them home injured! Be sure to have
to implement this program, which you know owns firearms legally! tor Units and any spare Traffic Units a talk with them before allowing
provides a reward for every confiden- This is for criminal offense/owner- of the Sheriff's Office will be in the them to ride bikes during day or
tial tip made to Crime Stoppers of ship only. Village to monitor traffic and issue evening hours.
Palm Beach County, Inc., that leads Know of a criminal with a gun? tickets. Be warned, folks, this is an For any questions or comments
to an arrest and the recovery of a Call it in! Let's get him/her off the ongoing program and could cost concerning anything I have written
criminal gun in Palm Beach County. streets and, if in our Village, out of you plenty should you be caught! here, please contact me at the UCO
This is not a gun buy-back pro- here! Here is additional information you Office (561-683-9189), and I will be
gram, which they view as largely in- Have any questions? You may call may find useful if you ride a scooter glad to discuss these concerns with
effective in removing guns from the the Palm Beach County Sheriff's and/or golf cart: My neighbor just you. In the meantime, be safe and
hands of criminals who use them Office at 561-688-3400 and ask to purchased a scooter and it came secure out there!
equipped with installed rear lights!
July 14-20:
A Nationwide Effort to Reduce Unsafe Driving Practices
By George Franklin vehicles—MAINLY speeding!
Speeding drivers have caused 94%
Hey folks! of all traffic crashes! This is accord-
Well, here we go with a VERY in- ing to 2015 stats compiled by the
teresting article I read about: Oper- National Highway Traffic Safety
ation Safe Driver Week this month! Administration. Speeding has been
I hope you all pay attention because involved in nearly ONE-THIRD of
it is going to cover the entire Unit- all traffic fatalities!
ed States, not just our South Florida Jay Thompson, president of the
area. CVSA and Chief of the Arkansas
This is about the CVSA. "What's Highway Police stated that this will
that?" you ask. It stands for Com- not be tolerated. Any individuals
mercial Vehicle Safety Alliance and caught speeding or operating un-
is an organization made up of local safely may receive a citation.
state and federal law enforcement Other violations they will be
officials along with transportation watching for will be texting while
safety officials. driving, improper seat belt use, fol-
The CVSA was organized back lowing too closely, improper lane
in the late 1980s. Now, not only do changing, and aggressive driving.
these members work with and go To give you an idea of the scope of
after commercial vehicle operators, this operation, during the 2018 Op-
but this year, during the week of eration Safe Driver Week, nation-
July 14 to 20, they are going after all wide, 46,696 citations were issued
vehicles, passenger along with com- to passenger vehicles alone. its point: SLOW DOWN! Be safe This information was taken from
mercial, for unsafe operation of I think this information has made and secure out there! Transport Topics, issue May 20, 2019.
WEST DRIVE- NEW CONCRETE UTILITY POLE BEING WELLINGTON SECTION- CONCRETE POLE HAVERHILL ROAD ENTRANCE- NEW EMERGENCY WELLINGTON SECTION- SWA CONTRACTOR
LOWERED INTO PLACE. INSTALLATION COMPLETE. GENERATOR WILL PROVIDE UNINTERRUPTED “CLAM TRUCK”, FUNDED BY FEMA, REMOVING
POWER TO GUARDHOUSE, GATE ARM, AND LIGHTS. VEG DEBRIS AFTER 2017 HURRICANE IRMA.
PAGE A10 | UCO REPORTER | JULY 2019
TURN
TURN YOUR
YOUR
LANDSCAPE
VISION INTO
INTO
REALITY.
954.431.1111
JULY 2019 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE A11
WPRF NEWS
BY E VA R AC H E S K Y
Letters to the Editor
Dear Residents, year by volunteering. Please drop
Recently WPRF received approx-
imately 500 books as a donation
off your name and phone number
to any employee in the Staff/Ticket Everyday Heroes
to its library. That is an extraordi- Office and they will leave the infor-
nary number of books to process. mation on the Usher desk. I would like to thank God that I wish to thank the kind-hearted
It made me realize that this is the Lastly, this is a reminder to follow we at CV have FIRE RESCUE 23, resident who pulled up to my car
perfect time to mention that we are certain rules: the first responders that saved my at the 4-way stop on West Drive
in need of Library volunteers. If you 1. Please have your WPRF ID Card life, not once but 4 times, from to alert me that I was getting a
love to read, please consider volun- with you when using the recre- going into a coma. Their response flat front tire. I immediately took
teering a few hours a week to help ational facilities. time was less than 5 minutes. We the car to my mechanic who con-
are lucky to have them with access firmed that my tire was going flat
process the books that are dropped 2. NO SMOKING anywhere on
to CV. I will pray for them every and, in fact, was completely worn.
off. You can do this by completing WPRF/Recreation property.
day. God bless them. How fortunate I was to learn about
a Library Volunteer form which you 3. Please cooperate with Securi-
this before the tire went com-
can obtain at the Staff/Ticket Of- ty when they ask to see you ID John Gluszak and wife pletely flat in some remote place.
fice. This form will in turn be pro- as stated on the back of your ID Patricia Thank you again, good neighbor. I
vided to the person in charge of the card. Salisbury H so appreciate your kindness.
Library, and she will contact you as 4. Please follow the directional ar-
soon as possible. rows in the Clubhouse parking Phil Dreiss
The same person who donated all lot and exit properly by going Sheffield M
the books also donated a bookshelf around the traffic circle in front
that will be placed upstairs at the of clubhouse.
Hastings Clubhouse. WPRF will be 5. Please check the position of your
relocating duplicate books over to vehicle after parking and make
Hastings. sure it is within the lines of the
While I am asking for Library vol- parking space, with the front end
unteers, I’d like to mention that we of your vehicle facing forward
are always looking for Usher Volun- (no reverse parking permitted).
teers to help with movies, live per- 6. Service Animals only allowed at
formances and the Saturday night any recreational areas.
dance. The current group of ushers Thank you for your anticipated co-
have fun, do an excellent job and operation, stay cool, and have a
save the residents over $200,000 a fun summer!
MAINTENANCE
Bids/Infrastructure Committee
By Dom largest considerations between specifications require that the ex-
Guarnagia the two (2) methods. Aesthet- isting concrete walk, currently 3’-0”
ics was another consideration, wide, is too narrow and must be re-
Lyrics in one however the opposing fence placed with a code-compliant 5’-0”
of Frank Sina- along the north side, somewhat walkway. This means that the walk
tra’s songs, “At screened by the hedge of Hibis- will be 2’-0” closer to the road, re-
Long Last Love,” cus shrubs lent a symmetrical quiring drainage and a curb to cap-
allude to some-
thing
wonderfully remarkable or its sub-
that’s
resolution.As seen along the
Florida Turnpike, the wall of
choice is erected along a straight
ture run-off and divert it into both
a swale and a solid curb with open-
ings to collect and divert the run-off
NO
stitute, i.e., “Is it Granada I see, or
only Asbury Park?” Wanting to pro-
vide an aesthetic appearance along
line using a laser mounted on a
tripod, with a “cut and fill” pro-
cedure, i.e., removing hills and
before it impacts walkers. Finally,
some landscaping may be utilized
to somewhat beautify the remain-
WEAPONS
the Century Boulevard - Haverhill
Rd. entrance, much debate regard-
filling valleys with the result
that there is no deviation, left
ing space between the walkway and
the intended swale.
OF ANY KIND
ing replacing the chain link fence, and right, and minimal changes There has been much debate at
partially destroyed by hurricane in elevation. the monthly Bid /Infrastructure ALLOWED ON
winds and totally removed by the 2. Clearly, maps and plans show Committee meetings for the past
owner, continues.
An alternative choice was to erect
that the property line is far from
a straight line and that elimi-
four months with pertinent in-
put from an engineer, committee
RECREATIONAL
a concrete wall with square posts
and 8’-0” high concrete panels along
nated the concrete wall that is
made to run from beginning to
members, the UCO CAM, and the
officers of UCO, focusing mainly PROPERTIES
the 1,340 feet long property line, end “dead straight.” on providing security and a separa-
providing a paramount obstacle to 3. The greatest disadvantage tion of property -- not knowing who
any intruder(s), thereby assuring a to a concrete wall is that it is will be developing the 72 acres and VIOLATORS WILL
modicum of security for the length opaque; one cannot see what not having their input regarding
of the road up to “Four Corners,” occurs on the reverse side and concessions to be made elsewhere BE REMOVED FROM
the intersection of East Drive and that disadvantage means that along the property lines separating
Century Boulevard. Cost differenc- the demising element should be the two entities. THE PROPERTY AND
es between concrete and chain-link transparent, allowing a poten- It is essential that Delegates at-
became an element that would re- tial intruder to be quickly ob- tend the Assemblies to provide in- RISK SUSPENSION OF
quire more money to provide and served and dispatched. put as to which methodology for
had a few drawbacks. Beside the fence, Palm Beach property separation is best and af- THEIR PRIVILEGES
1. The cost factor was one of the County Building/Zoning Dept. fordable, as well.
$25.00 off
Oil Change and
Tire Rotation
Special Alignments
$39.95 withthe purchase
plus tax and disposal fee,
synthetics and diesel engines additional of 4 new tires.
No other discounts apply. Offer valid with No other discounts apply. Offer valid with
coupon only. Must present coupon at the coupon only. Must present coupon at the
time of write-up. Most vehicles, some time of write-up. Most vehicles, some
exclusions apply. exclusions apply.
561-684-1323
H Family Owned and Operated for Over 33 Years
FRee
Check Engine
FRee
H AAA Approved Repair Facility Light Scans A/C Checks
H 24 Month/24,000 Mile Nationwide Warranty with repairs with repairs
H 90 Days Same as Cash Financing Available No other discounts apply. Offer valid with No other discounts apply. Offer valid with
coupon only. Must present coupon at the coupon only. Must present coupon at the
H Courtesy Shuttle Delivery Available time of write-up. Most vehicles, some
exclusions apply.
time of write-up. Most vehicles, some
exclusions apply.
H Affordable Towing Available for Non AAA Members
FRee FRee
Brake Inspections
with $10.00 OFF Multi Point
Brake Service Vehicle Inspection
No other discounts apply. Offer valid with No other discounts apply. Offer valid with
coupon only. Must present coupon at the coupon only. Must present coupon at the
time of write-up. Most vehicles, some time of write-up. Most vehicles, some
exclusions apply. exclusions apply.
JULY 2019 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE A13
ATLANTIC BROADBAND
IS EXCITED TO SERVE
THE RESIDENTS OF
CENTURY VILLAGE
Now that Atlantic Broadband is your With MY SERVICES, you can easily
manage your account, view/pay
official service provider, we wanted
your bill, see your channel lineup
to share some helpful self-service tips
or even check out the latest On
located on our website such as: Demand movies and more!
V I S I T: A T L A N T I C B B . C O M / M Y S E R V I C E S
PAGE A14 | UCO REPORTER | JULY 2019
RALPH JOSEPHS
HAIR SALON
561-478-9266
We don’t charge by the hour, we flat-price so you
know what it will cost before we start working. $5.00 Off
Located in the Medical Bldg./Walgreens Any Hair
ALL PLUMBING NEEDS 110 Century Blvd. WPB, FL 33417 Service Over
561-452-2222
$20.00
Coupon good through September (with ad)
PAGE A18 | UCO REPORTER | JULY 2019
CLASSES ON HIATUS
BALLROOM DANCE BEGINNER & INTERMEDIATE with NATALIA WILL RESUME IN SEPTEMBER
CURRENT EVENTS CLASS WILL RESUME NOVEMBER
MEMOIR WRITING WILL RESUME IN NOVEMBER
MYRNA GOLDBERGER'S LECTURE SERIES WILL RESUME IN SEASON
NEW CLASS! TAI CHI FOR HEALTH (WITH PATRICK) WILL BEGIN IN AUGUST
BEG, INT, ADV STAINED GLASS CLASS WITH PETE RETURN DATE TO BE DETERMINED
ADVANCED STAINED GLASS CLASS WITH THEO RETURN DATE TO BE DETERMINED
TAP DANCE CLASS WILL RESUME IN SEPTEMBER
UPPER FLOOR, CORNER, 1 BED 1.5/2 BATH UPPER FLOOR CORNER 2 BED 1.5/2 BATHS
BEDFORD E Absolutely beautiful! Stunning furniture! Newer kitchen, newer baths, wood flooring, CHATHAM C Water views from every window!! Wow one of the best views in the village,
inside corner garden view lift included. Community patio. Central air conditioning. $55,000 outside corner. Central air conditioning, furnished, ceramic tile flooring, this condo is on
WALTHAM F Ceramic tile floors thru out, central air conditioning, beautifully furnishings, the isle of Chatham. Near the Kent pool. $69,000
tenant leaving April 24, 2019. Tastefully done. Near east gate and clubhouse, 24 hour security, NORWICH J Outside corner unit, furnished, rent able, near the clubhouse and east gate $59,000
gated community. $55,000 SHEFFIELD J Tenant in place, well taken care of, rentable, near Hastings fitness center $65,000
WINDSOR A Outside corner, fully furnished, carpet, water view, very serene, near the pool DORCHESTER F Unfurnished, ceramic tile floors, knock down in kitchen, cul-de-sac beauty $55,000
and the west gate. This unit has been well taken care of $45,000
GOLFS EDGE E Tenant in place, unfurn, central air, washer/dryer can be placed in unit. NORTHAMPTON P Fully furnished, two full baths, upscale linoleum, laundry same fl.
Near east gate and clubhouse. $49,000 With lift $79,900
CANTERBURY B Ceramic tile flooring, central air, updates every where, shows beautiful, GOLFS EDGE D Very serene area, two full baths, lift on stairs, large spacious rooms level
near the Dorchester b , on a very serene area, active clubhouse, $49,900 has its own pool, central air conditioning $93,000
COVENTRY D Ceramic tile thru out, lots of light, fully furnished, cul-de-sac, ready to move NORTHAMPTON O Carpet and ceramic tile flooring, central air, inside corner, building sits
into asap. Near the clubhouse and fitness center and the east gate. $62,000 on a corner lot with lots of lush landscaping, and space between the building, tenant in place,
paying $1000 per month. There is a two year waiting period to rent. Active clubhouse and
NORWICH L Absolutely beautiful,stunning knock down wall in kitchen new everything.
Serene view from patio looking over a lush foliage and trees. Beautiful tile flooring rentable fitness center, pool, tennis, racquetball and so much more. Near the west gate. $65,000
and pet friendly totally fantastic unit $67,000 NORTHAMPTON L Outside corner unit, furnished, tenant in place, central air, private
GROUND FLOOR CORNER 1 BED 1.5 BATH location, near the west gate, steps to the parking, lots of activities, transportation. $65,000
SHEFFIELD P Furnished, serene area, near Hastings fitness, pool. Central air conditioning, CANTERBURY C Tenant in place, lots of upgrades, unfurnished, close to gate, amenities
rent able, pet friendly, 24 hour security, active club house and fitness center $47,000 galore, beautiful unit $59,900
CAMDEN J Outside corner, part. furnished, central air conditioning, enclosed patio overlooking GROUND FLOOR CORNER, 2 BED 1.5 BATHS
a garden view, extra storage, near the west gate, and Camden pool. 24 Hour security, EASTHAMPTON E Completely renovated, unfurnished, ceramic tile flooring, garden view,
active clubhouse and fitness center. $48,900 central air $77,900
GOLFS EDGE A Beautiful ceramic tile flooring, furnished, washer dryer hook up steps to SHEFFIELD C Waterview, unfurnished, near the Hastings fitness center, artsy building,
parking, free cable and water, development has its own pool. $48,000 beautiful landscaping $65,000
CAMDEN J Newer kitchen and baths, w/d in kitchen,, ceramic tile flooring, well taken care of, UPPER FLOOR 2 BED,1.5/2 BATHS
community patio, part furnished. 24 Hour security, active com. $52,000
WALTHAM E So many upgrades, partially furnished, beautiful flooring, knock down wall
CANTERBURY D This is a spectacular condo, ceramic tile floors thru out, beautiful mexican in kitchen $65,000
tile back splash, cul-de-sac, tenant in place, this is a 55 plus community. Unfurnished, corner
unit with central air, lots of upgrades, well taken care of and a great tenant. Near the WELLINGTON M Stunning, crown molding, newer kitchen, baths, ceramic tile flooring,
Dorchester pool, and fitness center. 24 Hour security, active clubhouse and fitness center. $55,000 unfurnished, beautiful enclosed patio overlooking the view of the lake. 149,900
UPPER FLOOR 1 BED 1.5 BATH WELLINGTON M Cul-de-sac, price to sell, carpet, waterview, near the west gate, $75,000
CANTERBURY B Furnished, ceramic tile flooring, well taken care of. Near pool, gated com. $48,000 COVENTRY J Tenant in place, great price for a two bedroom, unfurnished, carpet and tile $59,000
WINDSOR F Furnished, ceramic tile flooring, pergo flooring, near the west gate and pool $48,000 *ANNUAL RENTALS*
SHEFFIELD B New tile and new screening on patio, renovated kitchen and bath, $55,000 GROUND FLOOR 1 BED 1 BATH
CANTERBURY A Central air, rentable asap, if closed by April 1, 2019, turn key, furnished, NORTHAMPTON L Unfurnished, ceramic tile flooring, garden view, steps to parking, very sweet $900
ceramic tile and carpet, garden view. Enclosed patio $54,900 SHEFFIELD I Unfurnished, ceramic tile flooring, garden view very clean unit. Near Hastings $825
WELLINGTON M Freshly painted, move right into furnish with the exception of the dinning BEDFORD F Unfurnished, near laundry, wood flooring, steps to parking, $875
room set, ceiling fans thru out, lake view!! Laundry on each floor!! Elevator building. $64,900 UPPER FLOOR CORNER 1 BED 1.5 BATH
COVENTRY I Unfurnished, ceramic tile flooring, lift included, near Haverhill gate. $42,000 CAMDEN K Unfurnished, outside corner, central air, near Camden pool well taken care of this
GROUND FLOOR 1 BED 1.5 BATHS condo is near the west gate and close to parking, tennis, racquetball, and so much more to enjoy.
BERKSHIRE H Updated with ceramic tile and both baths. Extensive courtyard/garden view $57,900 Hastings fitness is the state of the art equipment unfurnished. $900
KENT L Picture perfect. Ceramic tile flooring, newer kitchen and baths. Rent able near the WINDSOR M Furnished, tile, central air conditioning, near the west gate and Camden pool $950
pool, gated community and active community, transportation $62,000 NORTHAMPTON S Unfurnished, completely redone central air, lift included. New kitch and bath $900
GROUND FLOOR 1 BED 1 BATH UPPER FLOOR 1 BED 1/5 BATH
NORTHAMPTON L Unfurnished, tlc, steps to parking and laundry and mail. Garden view, CANTERBURY B Furnished, or unfurnished, ceramic tile flooring, near Dorchester pool and in
great price, this is in a great area with pools, clubhouse, fitness center, transportation, a very quiet area. Active clubhouse and fitness center $900
and so much more. $35,000 SHEFFIELD B Unfurnished, water view, newer kitchen, updates galore! $900
CAMBRIDGE F Well taken care of, ceramic tile flooring and carpet. Fully furnished, near CANTERBURY A Unfurnished ceramic tile, flooring close to steps. Garden view $900
laundry and pool, great building and association, gated community, active clubhouse and
fitness center, so many clubs and activities to enjoy $45,000 UPPER FLOOR 2 BED 2BATH
BEDFORD F Some furnishings will stay, ceramic tile flooring, new enclosed patio, steps to STRATFORD K Furnished, large two bedrooms two full baths, ceramic tile flooring, central air,
parking, community patio, priced to sell, one year waiting for renting $37,000 close to the clubhouse and pools. $1,000
COVENTRY L Furnished very nice, ceramic tile flooring, close to laundry, move right into GROUND FLOOR 1 BED, 1.5 BATH
near the east gate and fitness center $39,900 WINDSOR M Well taken care of ceramic tile flooring, unfurnished, garden view near pool $875
SHEFIELD F Unfurnished, beautifully redone, including ceramic tile flooring, newer kitchen, GROUND FLOOR CORNER 1 BED 1.5
steps to parking, near the Hastings fitness center. Newer air $49,000 CAMDEN J Ceramic tile flooring, unfurn or furn. Newer kitchen with built in microwave,
SALISBURY B Ceramic tile flooring, tenant in place which just started $850 Newer dishwasher, outside corner, near Camden pool and the west gate. $900
appliances, garden view, close to haver hill gate and east gate $39,999 NORTHAMPTON N Unfurnished, steps to parking, cul-de-sac 24 hour security, near Kent pool $875
KINGSWOOD D Carpet, ten in place, steps to parking, furnished, garden view, close to GROUND FLOOR 1/1.5 FIRST FLOOR CORNER
laundry and mail boxes. Enclosed patio. $42,000 ANDOVER B Ceramic tile flooring, turn key, ready to move into. Furnished, near the west gate and
NORTHAMPTON L Beautiful ceramic tile flooring, newer kitchen and bath, garden view, Sommerset pool. Great community with lots of activities, gated community and transportation $900
steps to parking, serene location, lots of amenities and transportation $55,000 SHEFFIELD P Furnished, carpet, ceramic tile flooring, inside corner, pet friendly, central air
KINGSWOOD D Steps to parking, ceramic tile flooring, close to laundry and mailbox conditioning, near the Hastings fitness center and pool $875
garden view, gated com $35,000 GROUND FLOOR 2/1.5 FIRST FLOOR
UPPER FLOOR 1 BED ONE BATH NORWICH M Completely renovated, ceramic tile flooring, garden view, furnished $975
WINDSOR B Central air, waterview, ceramic tile flooring, shower stall, beautiful! Artsy! $49,000
SHEFFIELD N Beautiful condo with newer kitchen, new ceramic style flooring, garden SEASONALS
community patio, cul-de-sac near Hastings pool $39,900 GOLFS EDGE F Two bedroom two full baths, this condo has everything for your rental retreat $1,550
NORWICH H Beautiful 1/1 on 2nd floor, new a/c unit, near east gate and clubhouse. $38,900 CANTERBURY D Out side corner, fully furnished, near Dorchester pool, cul-de-sac two
EASTHAMPTON I 1 Br, 1 bath, 2nd floor, unfurnished, beautiful flooring, near east gate, bedrooms and one and a half bath, second floor $1,400
24 hour security, tenant in place $49,900 BEDFORD I One bedroom and one and a half bath, fully furnished, carpet, lots of light $1,250
PAGE A20 | UCO REPORTER | JULY 2019
EVERYDAY
IS SHINY!
OPEN DAILY!
a y !
y T od
Sto pB
DISTRICT 1
3228 Gun Club Road
Location:
DISTRICT 4
14925 Cumberland Dr.
DISTRICT 8
14000 Greenbriar Blvd.
DISTRICT 15
200 Civic Center Way, Ste. 300
DISTRICT 7
(561) 881-3326
DISTRICT 14
561-683-9189
For More Information Please Call: 561-681-4460
Please be advised that NO needles will be accepted nor will medication in Glass containers. Check the list.
Since we have started this program we have collected over FOUR HUNDRED (400) pounds of unwanted
medications. Do not worry about your names on the containers or prescription numbers. These items are
first collected by PBSO Deputies at the clubhouse, then placed in SEALED evidence containers. These are then
transported to the Solid Waste Authority where they are incinerated. No one will ever see your information!
For further information, see the above flyer and/or call UCO at 561-683-9189. We thank everyone for your help
in this most important matter!
WHOLESALE
PVC • Woods
V Faux Woods
E Woven Woods
R Shutters
T Visit our Showroom
I Monday–Friday 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.
C 6001 Georgia Avenue, Suite 10, West Palm Beach
A Call for an In-Home Appointment
L
S 561-585-1485
PAGE A22 | UCO REPORTER | JULY 2019
#1 Preparing for a Storm WATCH PERIOD - Hurricane possible within 2-3 days
Year-round Residents should:
Seasonal residents – Prior to leaving for the summer: • Fuel up their vehicles and purchase emergency supplies at the BEGIN-
• Remove and store outside items that can become missiles in a storm, or NING of this period if this has not already been done.
arrange for their removal. • Make certain all items mentioned in the Pre- Event Section above for
• Leave updated contact information with Association residents have been completed.
• Insure all important papers and valuables are properly protected and • Ensure all first aid kits are fully stocked with supplies and are accessible
stored
• Insure all batteries in thermostats and smoke detectors are replaced as
WARNING PERIOD - Hurricane likely within 1-2 days
needed. Year-round Residents should:
• Have window shutters available, including all attachment hardware and • Turn refrigerators and freezers to coldest setting
tools. Make arrangements with a contractor, the Association or a neigh- • Fill tubs with water
bor to close hurricane shutters and prepare your unit in the event of a • Charge cell phone batteries
Hurricane Watch being declared. • Have sufficient cash on hand in small denominations
• Secure vital papers in water-proof containers
• Check on your neighbors to make sure they are prepared
Year-round Residents should: • Close all shutters and window protection
• Prepare or refresh their disaster supply kit. There are many different
• Prepare safe room: Blanket, pillow, radio, prescriptions, documents etc.
free publications available with comprehensive lists of items required in
• Follow safe procedures and practices for operating residential emergency
your disaster supply kit. These can be found on the UCO blog, at local
generators, if applicable.
grocery stores, on the web and in local newspapers.
• Freeze large bottles of water for use in fridge and later for drinking if
• Prepare a checklist list of items you need to take in the event of a man-
necessary
datory evacuation. (A “Go Bag”) This list identifies medicines, important
papers, contact information, water, non-perishable food and other emer-
gency supplies. Assemble the “go bag” if authorities are warning that a #2 Helping your neighbor
mandatory evacuation might be announced.
• Store all hurricane supplies in safe location in the house, known and
accessible to all residents The "Neighbor Helping Neighbor" Initiative
• Recharge all batteries for cell phones, radios, lanterns. Have fresh supply Prior to the storm check on your neighbors to make sure they are prop-
on hand. erly prepared. Be aware of which neighbors are staying and which are
• Have an adequate supply (1 week, minimum) of prescription and OTC leaving. Identify special needs any of your neighbors might have. Pass this
medicines per person info to your CERT building representative
• Where applicable: Have window shutters available, including all attach- After a storm has passed and it is safe to venture outside, check on your
ment hardware and tools. Make arrangements with a contractor, the As- neighbors to see if they are safe and well. We do not have enough CERT
sociation or a neighbor to close hurricane shutters and prepare your unit members to check on every house, door to door. County fire rescue will
in the event of a Hurricane Watch being declared. be overwhelmed. Response time might be measured in days rather than
• Have a family emergency response plan. Know where to meet should minutes. This is a community problem and our residents must pitch in by
your family or friends become separated. Identify out-of-area family tending to those in distress, Neighbor Helping Neighbor can work.
contact for status calls.
• Identify your safe room
• Check, turn over, and tap fire extinguishers every six months
#3 Communications after a storm
• Review your insurance policy for coverage, exclusions and restrictions,
particularly replacement clause. Have policies and all related contact Your association and building’s CERT representative must be informed
numbers safe but readily available. of any emergency needs of residents, structural conditions of the building
• Decide if you need or want flood insurance. or other emergency situations. They will pass this information on to UCO
• Update your household goods inventory. Store a copy in an off-site "safe" and CERT at the emergency contact numbers. All emergency response
location agencies outside our village will be using this info to prioritize their as-
• Make plans and pre-arrangements for care and/or boarding of pets sistance to our community. Remember emergency agencies will be over-
during and after a storm whelmed after any major Hurricane and will deal with the most pressing
• Get bids from available vendors for shutter installation and removal. medical emergencies.
JULY 2019 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE A23
CERT REPORT
BY JOHN HESS
Attention HURRICANE SEASON STARTED JUNE 1. Part of CERT’s responsibility is pre-emergency awareness. We
want everyone to be prepared in the event of a disaster. It isn’t too late if you aren’t ready!!
Computer Access
Below are a few places to go on your computers for information. There are links to several other sites from these. Ex-
plore a little bit; you will be surprised by the amount of information that is available.
http://discover.pbcgov.org/publicsafety/dem/Pages/Hurricane.aspx
http://discover.pbcgov.org/publicsafety/dem/Pages/Shelters.aspx Click on programs and services—Select program.
http://pbcgov.com/knowurzone/
http://ucoreporter.com
Clean as the
proverbial
BY J O DY LE B E L
Whistle
Let’s talk about colonoscopies. hungry? You bet I was. And cranky out into the kitchen to mix it up. Try tipsy to make it on and off the com-
What? You say that’s not funny? too. You might feel a bit shaky af- not to get all woozy and faint on the mode, and staggering around the
Sure it is. Face it, this is the time in ter a day of liquids, and you might floor because you have more work to living room in full erupting volcano
our lives when doctors start order- think that’s the worst and most an- do. Someone said, and I think it was mode. Really, if that happened I’d
ing them. Men, do you want proof noying part of the ‘situation.’ Think writer Dave Barry, that at this point have to burn the house and move.
that your head isn’t up your butt again. There’s more fun coming. “your bowels travel into the future Now it’s time for the doctor to ap-
like your wife claims but the mere In the evening, a few hours be- and start eliminating food that you pear. At least I think it was the doc-
mention of a colonoscopy strikes fore bed, it’s time for the MoviPrep. have not even eaten yet.” tor. Can’t really tell when they’re all
terror in your heart? You’re not Basically you mix packages of pow- After an action-packed fun-filled covered up like that. It could have
alone. Maybe I can help by sharing der together with warm water in a evening, you can finally throw been the guy that delivers the lin-
my own experience with the proce- one-liter plastic jug. (For those un- yourself in bed and try to get some ens. I did not even dare take a peek
dure. familiar with the metric system, a sleep. The next day you will need at the instrument tray fearing I
Let’s begin at the beginning; in the liter is about 15 gallons.) someone who is a good friend to would see a quarter-mile tube evilly
gastroenterologist’s office. What’s Then you have to drink all of it. drive you to the hospital. I say good wound up and waiting for me. But I
up with that colored diagram of the This takes a while because, and I’m friend because you need someone knew it was there. The room was ice
colon, a lengthy organ that appears being kind here, MoviPrep tastes – who is not going to mind how crab- cold but I began to sweat.
to go all over the place and at one let’s say odd. Imagine what dog sa- by you are, and will not blab your Someone rolled me over onto my
point seems to pass briefly through liva mixed with urinal disinfectant experience around the Village, and side, and the anesthesiologist began
Sioux Falls? I couldn’t take my eyes might taste like. Then add a few will not post photos of your anxious playing with the needle in my hand.
off of it. I tried to concentrate while drops of lime. and pale face all over the Internet. There might have been music play-
the doctor explained everything to The instructions for MoviPrep Also be prepared to have a few lit- ing and I felt strongly that the room
me in his reassuring and patient were obviously written by some- tle re-occurrences of MoviPrep fun should be quiet so the doctor could
manner, but all I could think of was body with a great sense of humor, in the morning. This is worrisome concentrate. Speaking of the doctor,
that he is going to “STICK A CAM- and also someone who has never, because pretty soon I was going to of all the parts of the body a person
ERA 1500 FEET UP MY BEHIND!” ever used the stuff. There is a no- have to get naked and lie on a table. could go to school for and study for
He didn’t seem to notice that I tation on the instruction sheet that How embarrassing if I was to spurt ten years, he picked this area?
didn’t hear a word he said (probably states that after you drink all of it on the nurse who is there to be with Anyhoo, finally it was time, the
because nobody does and he’s used you can expect a ‘loose, watery’ me through this. How would I make moment I had been dreading for
to it) and he sent me off with a pre- bowel movement. That’s sort of like amends for that? Even dinner and a weeks. If you are squeamish, pre-
scription for something called Mov- saying if you shoot yourself in the movie would not be enough. pare yourself, because I am going to
iPrep, which claims to be an osmot- foot with your handgun, you may Before you settle down, there are tell you, in excruciating detail, ex-
ic laxative that cleanses the colon. experience pain and possible loss of forms to sign stating that you will actly what it was like.
And, folks, they are not kidding. toes. not hold the hospital, the doctors, I have no idea. Really. I slept
By the way, MoviPrep comes in a I wrote my congressman and sug- the lab, the chefs, the janitors, or the through it. One moment I was
box large enough to house a family gested that MoviPrep should be re- guys who mow the grass responsible thinking of joking with the doctor
of four and will take two people to classified as rocket fuel with a nucle- should anything ‘go wrong.’ At this about finding Amelia Earhart and
wrestle into the back seat of the car. ar level rating of DEFCON 4. I don’t point I just wanted to stop pooping the next moment, I was back in
We will talk more about MoviPrep a want to be too vivid here but have and eat something solid so I signed the recovery room, waking up in a
bit later but let me just say this: Do you ever watched a space-shuttle whatever they put in front of me. very good mood. I asked the doc-
not allow this product to fall into launch from Cape Canaveral? That They wheeled me into the OR and tor when the heck was I going to
the hands of the Russians. is pretty much the MoviPrep ‘expe- someone put a needle in a vein in have the procedure and he told he it
The ‘event’ itself was not sched- rience’ with you being the shuttle. my left hand, which hurt like the was all over, that I had just had it. I
uled for another two weeks, so I had There were times when I could have devil. Not sure why they couldn’t didn’t believe him. That darn Movi-
14 days to fret about it. Even when used a seatbelt on the commode. have used the perfectly good, Prep not only cleaned me out but it
I tried to not think about it, all I Plan to be pretty much confined to plump veins in my arm. I was too drained my memory. He told me my
kept envisioning is tubes and cam- the bathroom area, and bring read- weak to complain but I did give the colon passed, but more important
eras and my butt hanging out in the ing material. Seriously, don’t go far. tech a mean stare. Then the nurse to me was the fact that very soon
open air for the janitor to view as he There will be violent spurting going tried to put me at ease with little I could go to Denny’s and get the
mops the hall floor. on pretty much unannounced. You colonoscopy stories, each one worse All-American Slam. I was allowed
The day before the ‘procedure’ is will eliminate everything from the than the last, but what could I do, to get dressed but was warned that
when I had to get down to business neck down, over and over again. I was a prisoner with a needle the I might not ‘go’ again for a few days.
and prepare. First off, you can’t eat This takes several hours but soon- size of a number two pencil in my No problem, Doc. At that point I
any solid food that day. Sounds easy, er or later you come to a point where hand. But the worst of all was when never wanted to ‘go’ again.
right? Wrong. Basically all you can you figure you have got to be total- she told me that some people put So, that’s my experience. Just so
have is broth, which is just hot wa- ly empty and you’re ready for bed. vodka in their MoviPrep to make it you know, dear reader, no part of
ter with some yellow coloring in it. Aw, you’re such a babe in the woods. more drinkable. NOW she tells me! my anatomy is off limits if it will
Yum. I had that for breakfast, lunch, At this point you have to drink AN- At first I was ticked off that I hadn’t make you laugh. You’re welcome.
and dinner. Then I went crazy and OTHER liter of MoviPrep. That is known this beforehand but then I
had some later for a snack. Was I if you have the strength to make it got to thinking about being a bit too