I am not wealthy (yet) if you are referring to millions.

However, there was a pivotal moment that

occurred to me several years ago that hopefully I will never forget.

Years ago, I was working in at a large fintech firm living in a studio apartment in Manhattan. I had some
savings, a decent salary for just starting out and so obviously I had enough to satisfy the foundations of
Maslow’s pyramid. Sure, I could have had more to buy a fancier suit, and spend more nights ballin’ it up
at a club with bottle service, but all that aside, especially for where I was at in life, I was in a pretty good
spot, relatively speaking, from a financial, job, and lifestyle perspective. I had more than enough to allow
myself the opportunity to be happy.

However, I wasn’t. I was anxious, depressed, confused about my future, confused about my past and
really just not in a good place where I was enjoying life.

During this time I was also involved in a civil dispute that had been dragging on for about 18 months.
During the final days of the lawsuit, when our attorneys were negotiating a settlement, a foolish action
occurred by my counsel that ultimately resulted in me leaving $180k on the table. At that point in time,
this was the most significant money that was ever presented to me in the form of a single check.

I was a bit angry at my attorney and annoyed at the general situation as there was original expectation
that I originally should have had significantly more regardless of the settlement, but we lacked a silver
bullet. However, despite this there was a moment of realization that given the state I was in at the time
and not being in a good place (for reasons beyond the court case) it would have made no difference
whatsoever on my psychological well being whether that settlement check was for $100k or for $1
million.

At that point in my life I had enough money to do plenty of things, but I recognized that none of those
things were going to make me happy because I wasn’t able to be happy doing anything back then.

All that the money was good for and all that more money would have been good for was to buy time
without me having to live on the streets to figure out how to fix myself.

It was an important realization because it made me understand that if you have enough right now
(shelter, food, a bit of a cushion, friends etc…) and are not able to enjoy the present, money can not nor
will it fix you or make your life better.

Granted, the assumption is that you have enough right now, because if you are living pay check to pay
check and a simple unexpected car maintenance may drive you into debt, then your financial suffering is
real. But if you live in a decent home and you think, if only you had that mansion on the corner with the
pool and the fancy car, its simply a delusion.

And so if we fix ourselves and are able to orient ourselves properly and we are happy and content and
we can enjoy the now, then the pursuit of money and acquiring more can be great because we are not
deluding the fact that more money may change our psychological state and recognize that instead, it
may be able to amplify it.

Its important to recognize that at least 80% of our life is the mundane. If we’re married or living with a
significant other, most of our lives are doing the ordinary. Our moments sharing coffee and breakfast
before we shower and head to office with our spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend, our moments returning
home and seeing how our significant others welcome us back, our moments eating dinner and
conversing — these are the moments that occur day in and day out and make up the majority of our life.
If these moments are good, then most of our life is together.

If instead we are sitting with each other in those moments, unable to enjoy each others company, and
both of us are desiring and thinking “our lives will be better” once we’re at the 5 start resort sipping a
Margarita in Bali, then we’re fooling ourselves. Those Bali moments, represent a fraction of our life. Yet
its so easy to fall into the trap thinking that those are the moments when “living” is really occurring.

The lesson I learned is get to a place where you have the essentials, where you have enough to have the
ability to enjoy the ordinary. Once you’re there, figure out what you have to do to enjoy the ordinary. If
you get to a point where you can love the ordinary, then by all means, feel free to welcome more money
into your life, as long as it does not compromise what you’ve just been able to achieve.

It starts with breaking free from our internal monologue.

The beginnings of success is to confront our selves, recognize our interests, values, and personality and
then to unapologetic move through life in full expression of these realizations.

A person who may have a boatload of money and nice assets, yet feels confined within their own skin is
stuck in an internal prison. Those externalities will not be enjoyed. That same person who also has a
beautiful wife yet is not able to communicate their emotional feelings in the marriage will not be able to
enjoy and experience the love of the relationship.

On the other hand, a person who has developed an integrated channel between their core selves (raw
feelings, interests - even those that are purely selfish, desires, etc…) and the external world is living a
liberated life. Once this is achieved, then by all means, money, wealth, fortune and fame will likely be
icing on the cake with a cherry on top.