A DECADE OF GRIEF

~Margarita Dampilag Vargas

Today, ten years ago, how fast time flies, they took my sunshine from me.
So then days turn to grey and nonchalant. They left me with a grey sky, empty hours
and grief. Although, I met new people along this journey, it’d never really made me
completely forget ‘cause at the end of each passing day I still feel sad and empty. I still
hope that everything will be back to normal, like we all together, like her illness didn’t
happened.
I am devastated again as hell. I cried. My heart squirmed again like when I felt deeply
sad. I feel her jolly and positive presence. She’s the strength and light of this family. I
feel so secured, safe and contentedly happy. But what to do ? she will never come
back.
I feel her. I see her smile. Sadly, I cannot touch her. She’s just inside my eyes.
Mommy…the morning is nice and pleasant today. It’s not like ten years ago. When a
stern heavy downpour apparently furious, pounded the place; like it whacked my soul.
What a pity…
I am empty, sad, and nothing.
I feel so despondent, so devastated, so desolate….
Ghera is sooo sad…
Emptiness...
That's the correct word to describe my day today and the days before today. It feels
like a waste of time, like what's the point ? Life is the same as death, so what's the
point of being here now and feeling all these ?