Virnalyn P. Ching Mr.

Michael Soriano Macugay

10 March 2010 Cause and Effect Essay

Tell Me Who Your Parents Are and I’ll Tell You Who You Are

It is a common fallacy that parents are the ones who should be in control at all times.

This is not entirely true since power and control should be equally distributed within the family.

Just because they are the parents does not necessarily mean that they are always correct and

every member of the family should blindly follow what they say. However, it is also a common

misconception that parents should be perfect beings. This is not true because parents are

human too, they commit mistakes and they also learn from them. These two myths are clearly

contradicting and confusing but from these one can see that parenting is no walk in the park.

Parenting is a crucial and essential task and it should not be taken lightly. It has the capacity to

affect and change a child’s life, especially if the parenting style is a negative one. The type of

parenting a child is exposed to affects his personality in many ways therefore; parents should

be cautious and careful with their parenting style.

There are many examples of negative parenting styles, one of them is the authoritarian

type. One can say that this is comparable to a dictatorial form of leadership. Parents who use

this style are very demanding and controlling. They expect their orders to be followed without

complaints, their word is law and they tend to use castigatory measures in disciplining a child.

They are directive but in return, not responsive. What are the effects of this parenting style to a

child? Children who are exposed to this style tend to do quite well in academics. They also have

fewer tendencies to develop behavioral problem. However, these children will develop lower
social skills and self-esteem. This may be the effect of having parents who tell them what to do

instead of them thinking and acting on their own. Children brought up using this style also have

high depression level. This is the result of having parents who are unresponsive It is also the

effect of growing up in an environment where fear is instilled in their very homes.

Another parenting style is the indulgent type. Parents using this style have a tendency to

be more responsive than demanding. The indulgent parents are in fear that their children will

hate them or bet angry at them so they are more warm and loving to them. Parents who use

this style have high risks in being inconsistent. Since they are not demanding, the respect and

discipline tends to be abused because the setting of limit is not usually present in this style. As a

result of using this parenting style, the children are most likely to have behavioral problems and

to perform poor in school. The children are will most likely grow up to be spoiled too. However,

there are also good effects in using this parenting style. One effect is better social skills and

people relation since they are exposed to responsive, warm and loving parents. They also have

low depression level since their parents are reactive to their needs. This style of parenting is

only good until a certain point.

The last style to be tackled is the disengaged or uninvolved type. In this style, the

parents are not really abusive but they are negligent and indifferent towards their children. The

uninvolved parents are not demanding yet they are also unresponsive. In effect, this creates a

gap between them and their children. The children are also poor in most aspects, academics,

social skills and self-esteem. Their level of depression is high as a result of having parents who

neglect, and sometimes, reject them. These children most probably will have behavioral
problems and issues. This type of parenting is not good as it can be detrimental to the

personality of children exposed to it. It is unfortunate that there are parents who use this style.

There are different types of parenting style, and it is regrettable that there are negative

ones. Some examples of negative parenting are the authoritarian, the indulgent and the

disengaged style. The different styles entail different effects to children, both positive and

negative. Though there are positive results that arise from the different parenting style, one

cannot disregard the fact that the negative effects weigh more. The style of parenting a child is

exposed to will most likely affect his personality and subsequently who he will become later on

in his life. Parents should be cautious and careful with the style they use in their children as it

will create a huge impact on their lives. Nevertheless, parents are not perfect creatures; they

are human who are entitled to commit mistakes as much as everyone else. One should realize

that the task that lies in the hands of these people is very crucial and it is not something one

can underestimate. It takes a lot of courage, patience and a lot more to be parents, and much

more to be good parents and they are worthy of admiration and respect at least.