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J
ust yesterday, I identified a case that led me to modify the theory of
being a shit (OBS). I discovered that some people cover up good deeds
by calling them bad (Gilgun, 2010a). Before that, I assumed that people
cover up unkind deeds but not kind deeds. People call kind deeds bad
when they want something so much they will lie to get it, and they also
destroy the reputations of people who have done good. In this scenario, the
means justify the ends.

Today, I found a case where a man covered up his good deeds. His
apparent reason was to protect the dignity of the recipients of his good deeds.
This case led me to change the theory of OBS and event to re-consider the
name of the theory itself.

I have now identified at least three reasons that people cover up

deeds. The first is because they do not want to take responsibility for the
unkind deeds they committed. The second is because they do not want
someone else to get credit for kind deeds. The third is because they do not
want to bring shame to those who are recipients of their kind deeds. The third
reason is the present addition to the theory.

The case that led to the addition to the theory involves a man named
Samuel Stone, an owner of a chain of clothing stores.Mr. Stone put an ad in a
Canton, Ohio, USA, newspaper on December 17, 1933, the depths of the
Depression in the United States.He stated that he would give small cash
donations to families in need. He used the pseudonym of B. Virdot.

The ad also said that the donor would never reveal the names of the
people who received cash assistance. The only condition was for them to
write him a letter that described their financial situations and how they would
use the money. B. Virdot gave $5 or so to 150 people in Canton.

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The secret lasted for 75 years. Then Mr. Stone¶s grandson, Ted Gup,
discovered letters addressed to B. Virdot in one of his grandfather¶s
suitcases. Mr. Gup just published a book called @


  about his
grandfather¶s generosity as detailed in the letters. The book¶s launch was in
Canton, last week, with about 400 descendents of the recipients and the one
living recipient, who is the wheelchair bound 90 year-old Helen Palm.

Ms. Palm read the letter she wrote to B. Virdot: ³I am writing this
because I need clothing. And sometimes we run out of food.´She said she
had thought about B. Virdot a lot over the years. ³I was really surprised when
I learned his real name.´

Mr. Stone promised anonymity because of the stigma attached to

accepting charity, which was considered a moral failure.One letter writer
said, ³If I thought this would be printed in the papers I would rather die of
hunger first.´ She was caring for her disabled sister and her ill daughter.

A 72 year-old man named Kenneth Richards did not know that his
mother had asked for cash assistance. When Mr. Gup contacted him, he said,
³I really didn¶t believe him because my mother just wouldn¶t ever ask
anybody for help. Here was a woman I never knew.´

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*





jife in Canton was hard during the Depression.A father of seven

wrote to B. Virdot that he was thinking of killing himself until he received
the gift.

The checks enabled families to give their children gifts for the
holidays.Geraldine Hillman Fry, 85, got a doll from her mother Olive
Hillman who received $5. ³I was thrilled to get it,´ Ms. Fry said. ³It really
was the only doll that I ever had in my life. So, it meant a lot to me.´

Felice Mary Dunn, 90, received a small wooden horse as a holiday

gift. She now owns two farms and 17 Welch ponies.³In my life it made a big
difference,´ Ms. Dunn said.³It was my favorite toy.´
 These stories and others show how far-reaching Mr. Stone¶s
generosity has been.

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The theory of OBS is as follows. OBS is composed of four parts:

1.adeed
2.a desire to cover up the deed
3.a cover-up, and
4.recipient buy-in.

The theory as stated is so general that it would probably fit any

cover-up. So, I probably need to add to the theory.The following is one
possibility.

1.adeed, which can be kind, unkind, or neutral;

2.a desire to cover up the deed, with the desire related to evasion of
responsibility for an unkind deed, a desire to make a kind deed out to be a
bad deed, or a desire to protect the dignity of recipients of good deeds;

3.a cover-up that can involve a variety of tactics in the case of

evading responsibility for unkind deeds, a variety of distortions, lies, and
innuendos for the case of making a kind deed seem like an unkind deed, and
silence and secret-keeping in the case of protecting the dignity of recipients
of kind deeds;and

4.recipient buy-in. In the first two cases, recipient buy-in results in

enactors succeeding at being shit. In the third case, recipient buy-in results in
enactors succeeding at being mensches, with mensche defined as persons
who have qualities worthy of admiration for their kindness, generosity, and
honesty.



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 ,

I¶m wondering if this case means that I have to consider renaming

the theory of being a shit. I am as interested in understanding kind deeds as
unkind deeds.I am fascinated by the thinking involved in covering up I am in
understanding unkind deeds and the motivations for committing unkind
deeds in the first place.I pretty much know the motivations of saying kind
deeds are unkind. I think I understand the motivations of covering up kind
deeds to protect the dignity of others.
 My focus appears to be unkind and kind deeds and their cover-
Ups.That¶s not a title that attracts notice. I¶ll have to keep thinking about
whether I have to change the name of the theory and if I do what to call it.

This series of theory testing shows one way of advancing theory and
knowledge-building. We do so by making some good guesses about
phenomena of interest and then testing these guesses against particular
cases.We change our guesses, which I am calling theory, to fit the cases.

It¶s trial and error with corrections to the errors, with the goals of

pÊ understanding human beings

pÊ heading off behaviors that hurt others, and
pÊ promoting behaviors whose consequences advance the common
and individual good.

*




This brief article has examined a case where a man committed kind
deeds and covered them up to protect the dignity of recipients. This is a much
different scenario from cases where people commit unkind deeds and cover
them and where people call kind deeds unkind deeds.

This instance of covering up kind deeds led me to change the theory

of OBS and even to consider re-naming the theory to something else. I don¶t
know what to call the new theory yet. It also led me to incorporate the
concept of

 into this expanded theory. Mensches are people who have
qualities worthy of admiration for their kindness, generosity, and honesty. I
might add, too, that mensches are persons of courage because it can be hard
to persist when so many people call kind deeds unkind deeds and make out
kind people to be pariahs.

Mr. Stone committed a

 , which is a kind deed that a person
commits and the person tells no one about it. The joy of giving resides in
knowing you have done a kind deed and not in the acclaim of others that you
have.

@
ÊÊ Ê

The OBS Express is a newsletter that appears occasionally to call out

perpetrators of unkind deeds and cover-ups, to celebrate those who stand up
to perpetrators, and to recognize perpetrators who change their ways. This
story celebrates a man who stood up to bad behaviors. Jane Gilgun is the
editor-in-chief.
 o






Gilgun, Jane F. (2008).  
    


 



 Amazon Kindle, scribd.com, lulu.com, and other internet
booksellers.
http://www.amazon.com/Being-Shit-Cover-Ups-Everyday-
ebook/dp/B0015XV33Y/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1287583301&sr=8-2

Gilgun, Jane F. (2010a). Calling a good thing bad & a bad thing
good.c

 !
"#$#%&"November 6.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/41451722/Calling-a-Good-Thing-Bad-a-
Bad-Thing-Good

Gilgun, Jane. F. (2010)b. Primer on deductive qualitative analysis.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/40014289/A-Primer-on-Deductive-Qualitative-
Analysis-A-Slideshow

Gilgun, Jane F. (2010c). The power of the case. '

 

(


 "#$)&, August 2010.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/36079001/The-Power-of-the-Case

Maag, Christopher (2010). Kindness of a stranger that still resonates.

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.November 8, 2010, p. A11.

@
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Jane F. Gilgun, Ph.D., jICSW, is a professor, School of Social

Work, University of Minnesota, Twin Cities, USA. See professor Gilgun¶s
other books, articles, & children¶s stories on Amazon Kindle, iBooks, &
scribd.com for a variety of e-readers and mobile devices.