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Andrew Tran

Mr. Shackett

ENGL-117-9273

June 25, 2019

Perfectionism

Ever since I was a child, I was told that I had been somewhat aggressive and sloppy when

performing simple tasks. But that had quickly changed around the age of 10 with the influence of

my parents and other relatives. I started to notice that I had transformed into a perfectionist. A

perfectionist is someone who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection. My uncle

identified this characteristic as the “driver” trait and demonstrated to me its potential as a

strength, but also as a perceived weakness. Moreover, he showed me how to wield this as a

strength and to control it as a weakness. In my current state, the “driver” trait has molded into a

perceived strength by making me assertive as well as obsessive, but also it can manifest into a

potential weakness by making me reserved and short tempered.

Perfectionism can become a weakness for me by making me reserved when trying new

things due to the fact that I fear failure. I try to stay on the path of the status quo, the path that is

normal and comfortable for me to ensure that I will succeed a hundred percent of the time. I will

not stray too far from the guided path nor perform something that is too risky. For example,

whenever I had a project or paper in school, I would always have the rubric or guidelines next to

me through the whole process of making that project. I would never do something the rubric did

not say to do; if it was on the rubric, I would put it in my project or paper.
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In addition, my other weakness that comes from perfectionism is short-temperedness.

Similar to what Rosemary Mahoney felt, I think that a person’s ignorance to the circumstances of

a situation can cause them to grow angry.​ In her essay “Why We Fear The Blind”, Mahoney

states, “Aversion toward the blind exists for the same reason that most prejudices exist: lack of

knowledge. Ignorance is a powerful generator of fear. And fear slides easily into aggression and

contempt” (298). Basically, Mahoney explains that not knowing one’s background can make us

selfish and angry when they can not perform to your own standards. When things or tasks being

performed are not going according to plan, I also tend to become very frustrated at myself and

those who are involved before I even get to know what the exact problem is. This frustration

could then be elevated into a steaming anger. For example, when my friends and I played a

heated pickup game of basketball, one of them would always let his man score on him and cost

us the game. I was frustrated at our lack of perfect communication and connected chemistry, but

later I found out that he had been injured during the game and felt bad.

Even though it has its disadvantages, perfectionism made me strive for the highest grade

possible and never settle for an average rating in school and other extracurricular activities. This

trait becomes a potential strength by making me into an assertive individual. ​Similar to what

Udoka Okafor felt, I believe that the ability to control your own future and not allow anyone take

you down let help you endure any problems in life.​ In her essay “On Living with Depression,

and the Dangers of Our Culture of Silence”, Okafor explains, “I was only able to survive because

I had someone who did not trivialize my pain through silence, ostracism, and criminalization”

(311). In other words, Okafor believes that ​having a support system that does not joke about your

problem and actually cares as well as the strength to control of your own life, you will be able to
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survive in a malicious society. ​ To strive for perfection, I tend to take the reigns of the task at

hand and take control of the majority of the project. For example, during any in-class group

activities, most of the time I take the lead because I only trust myself to perform at the highest

level, which will instill drive into my group members to ensure productivity in the group.

Another way my perfectionism can be a strength is because it makes me obsessed with

what I do. ​Similar to what Carol Greider believed, I think that challenges in life are not just a

block in the road, but I could help you get to your ultimate goal if you persevere and overcome

it.​ In “Cognitive Outlaws”, Greider states, “ [Learning problems] don’t have to be obstacles to

getting what you want. There are ways to compensate. Persevere. Do what you love and you’ll

find ways to get it done” (305). Greider’s point is that problems you face in real life do not have

to become obstacles for you if you do not let them. For me, only the job I need to complete is

clouding my mind, making me focused and all my energy is geared toward getting the best rating

and overcoming any obstacles that stand in the way. For example, whenever I have homework

assigned to me, even if it is due in a week, I will still try to complete it as soon as possible. If I

am doing something that is non-productive, like playing video games or watching Youtube

videos, I start to feel guilty that I am not spending my time correctly and that is all I am thinking

about until I complete that homework assignment.

Throughout my life, my parents and relatives have taught me life lessons which molded

me into a perfectionist. But through this journey, I learned that perfectionism could be both a

weakness as well as a strength. It is a perceived strength could make me an assertive leader as

well as obsessed with what I do, but it becomes a potential weakness by making me reserved and

short tempered. I gained insight into how things can be both a strength and a weakness. Even
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though at initial thought something might seem like a good thing, it could also come with its

negative side. Advice I would give to others is to know everything has its pros and cons, even if

it might seem like a good or bad thing. Another piece of advice is to play everything you have to

your advantage, even if it seems like a disability or a weakness.